tsukiko-hoshi

[mihai-florescu]

I hope one of the new characters has my birthday:) it's a very gimmicky date tho

[thyme-in-a-bubble]

could you do a pregnant reader x rafe

a/n: okay but that got my brain buzzing, so i simply had to get all the thoughts out in the form of headcannons (written right before i fell asleep, sorry if it shows)

∼ gentle reminder that feedback, but especially reblogs are the way you support writers on here ∽

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okay, so picture this: he's the asshole frat boy, you're the cute college chick who unlike him is actually there for the education.

also, he's your ex...

you were only together for a few months, but still, that shit was intense, the relationship nearly broke you from all of the high highs and low lows

it was exhausting being in love with an asshole, hence why you're no longer together

he was totally the type of toxic boyfriend to only wanna fuck you without a condom, either by pressuring you or just straight up lying and then rolling the rubber right off either as soon as he got you into doggystyle or like halfway through when you were too cockdrunk to notice the difference.

so that might have been why a month or so after the two of you broke up, you were late...

i'm picturing that you finally took a test at the most chaotic moment: at the beginning of a party in a bathroom, your roommate doing a quick run to a pharmacy while drunk folks try to barge down the door.

when your roomie comes back, you're totally freaking out, full-on melt-down, while she sits on the counter beside the sink and tries to calm you down, thinking up other solutions to your symptoms.

but the damn stick shows you two lines.

you were pregnant.

"so are you gonna tell him?" your roomie asks you, but you're still on a completely different planet, trying to comprehend the result.

"huh?"

"rafe. are you gonna tell him? i mean, i assume that it's him, unless there's somebody else, in which, how dare you not spill."

"what? no, there's no one else. of course it's rafe's..."

"...so? are you gonna tell him?"

but you have no idea if you want to or even should. you don't even have the slightest idea what you might wanna do about it all, if you should keep the baby or not.

but timing really is a funny funny thing, because when you then decide to go home to process everything (because damn, now you can't stay at the party and celebrate the close call), you bump into none other then the man, the myth, the whore himself: rafe fucking cameron.

now, you're straight up crying at this point, just overwhelmed as fuck, so of course he doesn't let you just slip by without figuring out what in the fuck is going on, if there is some douchebag he needs to go beat up.

"there only douchebag you need to beat up is yourself," you spit out before you can stop the phrase.

"oh, come on, baby. you can't still be mad at me? it's been like a month."

"please, rafe... just let me go home..."

"no, not until you tell me what's wrong!"

and when you actually say it out loud, it's like the awful party music fades and the buzzing crowd around you disappears.

"i'm pregnant."

at first, he just stands there stunned, staring straight through you.

if he's holding a glass, then he definitely drops and smashes it on the ground.

but then he grabs your arm and wordlessly drags you with him, all the way up to his room.

that's when, in the dull quiet of his dark dorm room, that it really sinks in.

for a while he just stares at you, letting his eyes scan down your frame, surely imagining what you'd look like in a few months.

and then, out of the blue, he whispers, "marry me..."

"...what?"

"marry me," he utters with more confidence, "i know this isn't exactly how it should go, but babe... i still love you. i never stopped... let me take care of you, let me take care of our baby, let me give you the life we deserve. so what do you say? will you marry me?"

but you just stare back at him as if he's gone mad.

"...no."

your stomach starts to flip as you then see the first signs of rage flare up on his features, "what do you mean no?"

"rafe, i'm supposed to be finishing up my degree, being young and dumb, not getting knocked up by the last man i'd ever want to be forever stuck with."

of course he then totally pops off, pushes you into a corner, yelling, screaming, all the nine yards

saying all this stuff about how you should be grateful that he ever gave you his time of day in the first place, nevertheless get you pregnant with his kid.

sooo, me thinks the next steps in their story gets pretty dark, pretty fast....

we talking him taking you with him home to tannyhill because school is simply too stressful for you and the baby (in his opinion)

mayhaps he straight up locks you in a room and acts all nice, pretends that nothing is wrong with the way he handles it all

forced marriage? yes? no? yes.

him getting fucking FERAL when you start to show?

also him getting feral long before that, taking the chance to make sure you're really, totally, 100% pregnant, if you know what i mean (in other words: all of the creampies ever, just over and over again, fucking load after load deep inside of you + so so much cumplay)

and the ending? i imagine that one day, after your kid is born, you run away, baby in your arms and not much else.

you try and create a quiet little life for you and your child somewhere far away

but eventually (of course, just for the sake of ✨drama✨) he finds you...

© 2024 thyme-in-a-bubble 

[joelscruff]

feelings on fire (joel miller x f!reader) 18+ PART ONE

"trying to play it coy, trying to make it disappear"

⚠️ new series alert! ⚠️ and also my 1k follower celebration!!! (altho it might as well be the 2k celebration now considering how fast my following has grown. thank you ;-;) i polled my followers a little while ago to choose between 3 different fic premises and this one was the winner! it was originally meant to be a stand alone but i'm actually more interested in making it a brand new series, so i hope you guys enjoy! i'm not exactly sure how many parts this will be yet, i'll let you know when i do. title and lyrics are from 'bad liar' by selena gomez.

summary: you're back from college for the summer, staying with your devout catholic parents in your childhood home while they order you around and try to keep authority over you. as an act of rebellion you ask your new neighbor mr. miller to teach you how to play guitar, but it turns out there's a lot more he wants to teach you. (no outbreak, no use of y/n) rating: 18+ explicit (minors, do not interact) warnings: (for this fic in general) age difference (reader is in her 20s, joel in his 50s), innocent/inexperienced reader, dirty old man joel, corruption (but it's consensual), praise kink, dirty talk, general smut, mentions of religion (reader's family are very catholic) -- (for this chapter) wet dreams, mentions of masturbation. word count: 5k ao3

The sun is warm and pleasant on your bare skin as you lay out in the freshly mown grass of your backyard, absorbing the heat and smiling languidly despite the humidity. You're grateful for your family's wealth on days like today, knowing that at any moment you could take a few steps and dive headfirst into the cool water of your pool, fresh and inviting. It's been about a month since you returned and you've spent almost every day outside among the green grass, the chlorinated water, the burning Texas sun. It's been heaven.

The backdoor suddenly swings open and your father's voice booms out into the backyard, "Family meeting," he states, loud and serious, "Five minutes."

Or hell.

With a groan you slowly sit up, hands digging into the thin towel laid out beneath you. You know better than to ignore an order like that. Being back from college for the summer has certainly had it's perks; no annoying roommates, no loud parties, a large backyard and pool to yourself, but having to deal with your parents again certainly isn't one of them. You'd thought coming back after three years might have softened them a bit, lowered their guard, made them less strict. Instead, it's almost had the opposite effect.

You slide into your flip flops and walk begrudgingly inside the house, making note of your mother standing anxiously by the stove with her arms crossed. What's the issue now? At least once a week your father calls these "family meetings", which always pertain to you and only you, seeing as you're their only child. Last week they'd spent half an hour berating you about forgetting to put the garbage out, the week before they'd tried to explain the importance of an early bed time to you, like you were seven.

You're a grown woman, a full fledged adult. Sure, you're only twenty one, you're unemployed, you're currently in the process of obtaining an arts degree that probably won't secure you anything tangible in the real world, but you're an adult nonetheless. You only have one year left of school before you can leave all this behind and start fresh somewhere else. You'd thought coming back home for one more summer would bring nostalgia and happiness, a few months of normality before life exploded in front of you.

Turns out your parents had pictured something different.

Your father gestures toward the kitchen table, urging for you to sit. You hate when they do this, make you feel small and childish while they both stand above you and reiterate rules they've had your whole life, rules that apparently you'll never grow out of. You wonder what rule you've broken now.

"We've noticed that you barely leave the house," your father begins, voice deep and authoritative, "We were under the impression that when you came home you'd be spending time with old friends, doing some volunteering again."

"Going to church," your mother adds beside him, a frown permanently etched on her face, "You've only gone twice since you've been here."

Call the cops, you think to yourself, forcibly holding back an eyeroll. Ironically your father is a police officer, and you highly doubt he'd ever come if you called.

"Instead, you just spend all your time in that backyard," he continues, nodding along with your mother, "We didn't invite you back to simply laze around all summer, there have been clear expectations you're not meeting."

You take a deep breath, feeling a hint of anger and stubbornness burning in the pit of your stomach. You shove it down, back to that secret hiding place you've cultivated throughout all these years of having to deal with them.

"I'm sorry, dad," you say, trying to sound as earnest as possible as you look to him and then your mother, "Sorry, mom."

"Sorry doesn't cut it, we need to see action," your father replies quickly, brow furrowed, "No more lounging around in the backyard on weekdays, that's a weekend activity from now on, we clear?"

You nod, "Clear."

"We want you to get involved in something," your mom takes a step forward, places her hand awkwardly on your shoulder, "Why don't you call Bethany? She's always looking for more helpers at Sunday School, or maybe Alice? I hear she's been volunteering at the soup kitchen for the summer."

You haven't spoken to either Bethany or Alice since you left for university three years ago. The thought of calling them, let alone having to work with them in either setting, makes you feel ill. You nod again, pretending to agree.

"That sounds good, I'll call them tomorrow morning," Both of your parents smile, appeased, "I think I'll go for a walk now, if that's okay. Clear my head, think about things I can do to improve."

"That's the spirit," your dad says, wrapping an arm around your mother, "Remember, be back before dinner or the door will be locked."

"I know," you nod, forcing a smile, "I won't forget."

--

Well, that's it, then. You'll have to leave.

It sounds dramatic to say that your parents telling you to get off your ass is enough to send you packing, but it goes so much deeper than that. You've spent your entire life doing everything these people say, nodding and smiling when you're meant to, apologizing for everything, doing anything you can to appease and impress them. You'd spent your high school years in youth choir, church group, organizing fundraisers, studying your ass off, tutoring, joining as many extracurriculars as possible until you had no free time. And even then, nothing ever seemed to be enough for them.

When you'd left for college they'd both cried at the airport, held you in their arms and told you with sincerity that they'd miss you so much. Your mother had kissed your face and held your hands and your father had hugged you for the first time since you were eleven years old. And because of their sudden burst of emotions, of affection, you'd actually missed them once you left. You remember you'd cried on the plane, scrolling through pictures of them on your phone until the battery died, thinking to yourself that maybe they weren't the horrible, authoritarian people you thought they were.

They called you once a week while you were at college, asking for updates, telling you they missed you, giving you neighborhood gossip that made you laugh and feel nostalgic for home. Being away from them, it was like they suddenly became two entirely new people, bonded together by their suddenly empty nest and seemingly trying to do right by you now, even if it felt a little too late. You'd thought about coming home a few times for a visit, but the memories that triggered the anger in the pit of your stomach kept you from doing so. You'd kept them at arm's length until you felt ready to come back.

And now you're back, and nothing has changed. They're the same people they always were, expecting too much of you, thinking they can control you, never quite believing that you're trying your best. You'd told them before you came that you just wanted to relax this summer, spend some time at home, maybe meet up with some old friends - keyword being maybe - and they'd seemed totally on board with the idea. There had been no mentions of keeping busy, no mentions of Sunday School or soup kitchens or rules. Then you'd arrived and realized how stupid you'd been to believe that they could ever change.

Your entire life you've been their perfect girl, their A+ student who volunteered and read bible verses and tutored the neighborhood kids, sacrificed your happiness more times than you can count for the sake of keeping them satisfied. But that's the thing: they're not satisfied, and they never will be.

Your flip flops smack against the concrete of your suburban street, sun beginning to set in the distance as you think about how exactly you're going to escape this hell. Yeah, you could just walk out the front door without a word, but it's not like you have anywhere to go or the money to do it. You have your plane ticket for your return flight back to school, but it's not 'til September and it's under your father's name. Your family might be wealthy but none of that wealth has ever gone directly into your pocket, and you doubt it ever will if you just bail on them in the middle of the night with no warning.

Your thoughts scatter when you hear someone call out your name nearby. Your head swivels and you see one of your neighbors, Mrs. Lillard, waving from her front porch. You wave back, give her a small smile.

"How's college treatin' ya?" she calls to you, taking a sip from a bottle of beer, "Got a boyfriend?"

Your cheeks warm immediately and shake your head, "Not yet!" you call back.

"I bet you're battin' 'em all away," her voice is slurred and you're sure that's probably not her first beer of the day, "Nobody's good enough for ya, huh?"

"I guess," you say awkwardly, continuing to walk and hoping she won't ask you to join her for a beer, "How's your husband?"

"Pain in my ass," she responds with a grunt and takes another swig, "Bet you can't wait to have your own white picket fence, perfect as you are."

Her words make you uncomfortable but you just give her your signature fake laugh and flip your hair, waving again, "Bye, Mrs. Lillard."

Your face falls as soon as you turn around, anger burning again. You've spent so much of your life being the picture perfect little suburban girl, doing everything your parents say, saying your prayers and reading to the elderly, killing yourself to get straight A's and only speaking when spoken to. Your reputation is widely known around the neighborhood; the sweet little girl, the pure and innocent God fearing angel. You've portrayed yourself as that girl for so long that you almost don't know which part of you is real anymore.

You keep walking down the street, eyeing the sunset as you go and wondering what would happen if you just didn't go back home tonight. As your father had said, he locks the door every night after dinner; you don't have a key, you've never had a key. You're only allowed into your house on the basis of trust and good merit. If you just refused to go back tonight, how would they react? The thought of doing something like that sends a warm flush of rebellion across your skin, eyes bright with intrigue. But where would you go?

You turn the corner and your nose is suddenly hit with the delectable scent of a barbecue, smokey and delicious. You slow a bit, closing your eyes and breathing in the warm air, stomach growling. You suddenly realize that if you don't go home tonight you'll also miss dinner. Another rule broken. You keep walking, trying to follow the scent like some kind of bloodhound. Maybe you know whoever's cooking and they'll invite you to eat with them.

A few houses down you start to hear the sound of music. There must be a party going on, a birthday or some other special occasion. It's only as you get closer to the sound that you realize it's not being played from a speaker or stereo, but from someone's front porch; a real guitar, live and acoustic.

You approach the house in question and see a man sitting on his front step, guitar in hand as he strums a steady tune. He's looking down, watching his fingers, monitoring his movements, but you see dark brown curls with hints of grey peppered throughout, a stubbled jaw line and curved nose. You slow your speed, furrowing your brow as you try to place him. You're not sure you've ever seen him before.

His music is calm and inviting, a plucky sounding tune that seems vaguely familiar. You're suddenly filled with intrigue, trying to place the song and slowing to a complete stop in front of the house without meaning to. You watch the man's callused fingers pick away at the strings, fast and professional, like he's been doing this for years. He probably has.

You're still trying to place the song, biting your lip and swiping through songs in your mind like an invisible rolodex. Johnny Cash? Bob Dylan? It sounds like one of those songs your parents would forbid you to listen to as a kid, the ones with devil worship in their lyrics, sung by bad men who didn't believe in God. You'd always questioned this logic, wondered how songs about living out in the country or falling in love could be inherently against your religion. They didn't even listen to it, just blindly told you it was against the rules.

Suddenly the man stops playing and you realize the song has come to an end. He looks up then, notices you standing there at the end of his walk with your furrowed brow and flip flops. His eyes are brown, expression startled at first but then fading into something softer as he gives you a small smile.

"Been there long?" he asks, voice crackling slightly, like he hasn't spoken much today.

You shake your head quickly, "I'm sorry, I heard you playing and I-"

"S'alright," he replies strumming his guitar absentmindedly and giving you a shrug, "I don't mind an audience."

He's southern, definitely a Texan, but you're sure you've never met him before. His face and voice are unfamiliar to you, but certainly not unwelcome. He's older, probably in his 40s or even 50s, but he's handsome and slightly boyish in a way despite his greying hair and freckled skin. He reminds you of one of those men on album covers your father had slammed down one day in the record store when you were nine, yelled at you in front of everyone that the men who made that music were filthy sinners. It hadn't stopped you from listening to them, though, curiosity getting the better of you.

Is that who you're looking at now? A filthy sinner?

"You okay?" he asks slowly, tilting his head. You realize you're just staring at him, gathering your thoughts.

You shake your head again quickly, feeling yourself blush under his gaze, "Sorry," you repeat, "I'm uh, I was just passing by and I heard you playing that song. It sounded really familiar."

He gives you a crooked smile and a nod, "Tangled Up in Blue, Bob Dylan."

"I knew it was Bob Dylan," you say, a satisfied smile spreading across your face. That song was from one of the albums you'd listened to in secret, one of the only times you'd had to delete your browser history. You feel pride swell in your chest at the smile you elicit from the man in response, like he's recognizing a fellow music lover.

"Good ear," he continues to lightly pluck at the strings of his guitar, "You play?"

"Um, not really." It's a half truth but mainly a lie, you've never played in your life. You feel slightly disappointed in yourself and you're not sure why; it's not like you've ever felt any kind of urge to learn, especially considering your parents would've made sure you only learned appropriate songs. When would you have even found the time between all your extracurriculars?

"Well, it ain't difficult," he starts playing the song again, slower this time, "Pretty repetitive chord progression, room for some adlibbin' here and there once you get the hang of it."

You nod like you understand what he's talking about, suddenly lost in the way his fingers pull at the strings, make the music come to life out of nothing. His hands are big, fingers long and thick as they curve back and forth, up and down. It's hypnotic to watch. He stops again and looks up, catches you staring.

"How old are you?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You swallow, unsure what exactly the right answer is. Part of you wants to lie, tell him you're older than you actually are so he doesn't just see you as some bright eyed kid. This is the first person you've encountered since coming back who doesn't know who you are, doesn't know about your reputation. You could tell him anything, be anyone, and he'd take it at face value.

"I'm twenty five," you lie, but it sounds unnatural in your mouth.

He looks you up and down, eyes raking your body in a way you're unfamiliar with. Like a man. Like the way your roommates back in college get looked at, sensually and flirtatiously, being eyed up by drunk guys at the bar who only have one thing on their mind. You feel your heart begin to thrum quicker in your chest; is that really how this man is looking at you? This grown man, not a high school crush or a college fratboy, a real man?

"Sweetheart, we both know that's a lie," he says with a chuckle, eyes coming back to rest on your face, "I'd guess twenty."

You make a face, "I'm twenty one, actually."

He laughs again, putting his hands up in surrender, "My bad, twenty one."

You watch as he starts to strum once again, something new and unfamiliar. You listen for a few moments, eyes trained back on his fingers, watching him play.

"You wanna come in for a bit?" he asks, voice nonchalant, like he's asking you something completely casual.

And maybe he is, but the words make your eyes widen, your breath catching in your throat. The way he'd looked at you just then, laughed at your words, wanted to know your age... now he's inviting you into his house? You've never actually been flirted with before, not when it mattered, and you're not entirely sure if that's what's happening. But it feels like it, even though you can't imagine how someone like him could see anything sexy about a girl like you.

"...Why?" you ask quietly.

He looks up at you with another smile, still plucking the strings, "If you need to ask then maybe I read you wrong," he chuckles again, eyes trailing down your legs and taking in your short dress, the way it stops at your knees, "Now that I really look at you, maybe I'm talkin' to a good Christian girl."

"You're not," you say it too quickly, "I mean, I'm not. I'm not a good Christian girl."

"No?" he smirks, "Don't have a good southern daddy waitin' for you to come home? Momma waitin' with a pie in the oven?" he's not being serious but you feel your skin flush at the accuracy of his words.

"Maybe," you mutter, hand going down to touch your dress nervously, "But maybe I don't wanna go home."

He nods and stops plucking, licking his lips and thinking to himself. You have to admit, there's something about him that draws you to him, something masculine and new. He's much, much older than you but not in a way that creeps you out or makes you want to run away. You find yourself hoping he'll ask you to come inside again so this time you can give him the right answer, the one he wants to hear.

"You probably should," he finally says, then stands up on his porch steps and slips his guitar onto his back. The strap digs into his broad shoulders, accentuating his size as he suddenly towers over you on the step.

"Sh-should what?" you ask breathlessly, and you wonder if he can tell your heart race has picked up, see the thumping of your pulse in your exposed neck.

"Go back home," he says with a shrug, "I mean, if they're waitin' for you..."

"They're not," you say it with firm finality, shaking your head, "I'm twenty one, I do what I like."

He walks down the steps then, getting closer and closer to you until he's suddenly standing directly in front of you. His eyes cast downward, assessing your expression; you swear he looks at your lips and licks his own again.

"So would you like to come inside?" he asks again, peering down at you with a dark sense of desire that makes you swallow roughly, feel a light and steady thrum between your legs, "Let me teach you how to play that song?"

Here's your chance. Just say yes.

"N-no," you gasp, taking a step back from him, "Um, n-not today."

He smirks, almost like he knew that would be your response. He hitches his guitar up his shoulder and gives you one last smile before turning around and walking back up his steps.

"Well, I'm here if you change your mind," he calls back to you, reaching for the doorknob on his front door and peering at you with another side glance, still assessing you, "Would love to teach a pretty thing like you how to use her fingers."

You feel your lips part in surprise, an unfamiliar tingling sensation flooding your body as he gives you a wink and walks into his house, shutting the door behind him. You've still got that steady throbbing feeling in your underwear, something you've only felt a handful of times. You know what it is, you're not completely clueless, but you can't remember the last time it happened.

You take another step back slowly, heart still pounding in your chest as you stare at his closed door. Then you turn on your heel and speed walk back the way you came, flip flops slapping against the ground aggressively. You revel in the way your thighs rub together as you walk, soothing that ache.

Any thoughts of not going home have gone from your mind. You need to ask your parents who this man is. As soon as possible.

-

You get home right before dinner, giving yourself just enough time to formulate exactly how to ask your parents about the man with the guitar. You're slightly afraid that you might seem too eager, too curious, and that they'll see right through you; you can't imagine how they'd react to knowing their perfect little girl is getting butterflies over a middle aged man.

But that's what you have: butterflies. In your tummy, all over your skin, between your legs. Being talked to the way he did, being looked at the way he did, it's making you feel hot all over, itchy and uncomfortable but in a good way.

The last time you felt this way was during your first week of college, at a party you'd gone to with your roommate. You'd seen him across the room, tall and blonde, watched as he licked his lips and looked you up and down. He was gorgeous, an angel you were convinced God had placed at this party just for you. You felt that tingle between your legs, swallowed down the nervous lump in your throat and imagined what it would be like to be kissed by him.

Then he'd approached and you realized he'd been looking at your roommate the entire time.

Your mother is just beginning to plate the meal when you slip into the kitchen, taking a seat at the table beside your father. She serves you both with a smile and sits, then extends her hands to both of you.

"Bless us, O Lord, for these, Thy gifts," she begins quietly, and you quickly hang your head and close your eyes as she continues, "which we are about to receive from Thy bounty. Through Christ, our Lord. Amen."

"Amen," you and your dad echo, then begin your meal. Just the same as always.

"How was your walk?" your father asks.

Here goes nothing.

"It was nice," you say, nodding thoughtfully to yourself and hoping you sound nonchalant, "I said hi to Mrs. Lillard."

"We've been praying for her," your mom interjects immediately, "She's an alcoholic, you know."

Your mom stays on top of all the neighborhood gossip, part of the reason you feel she might know something about the mysterious man. With a nod of your head you continue, "And then I saw someone else, a man playing guitar on his front porch, but I've never seen him before."

"Oh, him" your mom rolls her eyes, "Mr. Miller. Piece of work."

Bingo.

Your eyebrows raise, intrigued, "How so?"

"Kindness, dear," your father says with a disapproving nod to your mother, "He's done nothing to us."

She sighs and shakes her head, "You're right, I'm sorry."

The conversation is definitely going somewhere but it's already taking a turn into dangerous territory; you're not one to question, to interfere or interject. Pressing them further might make them suspicious, but you have to know.

"What did he do?" you ask, trying your best to sound casual, "If you don't mind me asking?"

Your mother is about to speak but your father gives her a look, almost a warning. She closes her mouth and sits back in her chair, waiting for him to answer you instead.

"He didn't do anything," your father explains, "Your mother invited him for dinner and he declined, that's all."

"It's the way he declined," your mother sits forward again, voice curt and irritated, "He was very rude."

"Rude?" You can tell your mom wants to talk about it, dredge up something she hasn't been able to discuss for a while; you're surprised she hadn't already told you over the phone while you were at college.

"This isn't appropriate conversation for the dinner table," your father says sternly, and you're not sure if he's talking more-so to you or your mother, "End of discussion." As usual your mother folds in on herself, picking up her fork and starting to eat again.

"Your father's right," she says, though you know she doesn't really believe that, "Let's just eat."

You wonder what the man - Mr. Miller - could have said to make your mother react this way. It's not unusual for her to get stiff and bothered by people - it's pretty easy to push her buttons, actually, but the list of things that offend her is long and detailed. He could have said pretty much anything to set her off. The specifics are lost on you.

You resign yourself to defeat and eat your dinner, sincerely glad that the tingling sensations in your body have subsided. You do not need to be feeling like that with your parents in the room.

-

You dream about him.

It's muddled and confusing, taking place simultaneously back at college and in your childhood bedroom, but he's there. In both places, somehow. You're back at that first week of college party, but instead of the blonde boy it's him standing across the room, eyeing you up and down. But this time he doesn't go for your roommate, he walks over to you and looks deeply into your eyes, gives you that delicious smirk and brings his hands down to touch your waist. He's so big compared to you, so much older. He pulls you in with a strong grasp and holds you to his broad chest, runs his hands down your back.

Then you're both transported from the college party to your parent's house. You're on your bed, sitting next to him atop the covers and watching him play guitar. You watch his fingers, long and thick, hypnotizing you with their movements. He stops playing and brings one to your chin, tilts your head up to look into your eyes again.

"You're not a good Christian girl," he whispers in that southern drawl, breath ghosting across your face, inching closer and closer, "You're all mine, aren't you?"

You wake up with a start and immediately feel the dampness in your underwear, the butterflies back again with a vengeance as your pussy throbs and pulses. You've never felt anything like this before, grasping your chest and reaching for your bedside lamp in the darkness. You sit there in bed for a few moments, catching your breath and waiting for the feelings to vanish again, for your aching core to stop reminding you that it's never been touched, not once, even though you know it's absolutely begging for it.

With shaky hands you reach down and run a finger through your wet folds, shivering at the soft touch. You've never masturbated before, never had sex or anything else you've learned about from your friends at college. They'd looked at you with disbelief when you'd told them you'd never even had an orgasm; one of them had gone so far as to ask if she could give you one.

"No," you'd said curtly, "No thank you."

Now you sit on your childhood bed with your legs open and a finger pressed lightly against you within your underwear. You're not even sure what to do, where exactly to touch, how to bring yourself to completion. You're twenty one years old but you've spent your entire life being the good, pure, God fearing girl waiting for marriage like her parents taught her.

"Enough," you whisper into the darkness, "I'm done waiting."

You yank your finger out of your panties and lay back on the bed, switching off the lamp and closing your eyes again. You've already decided before you drift off that you'll be paying Mr. Miller another visit tomorrow, as soon as possible.

He told you he wanted to teach you how to use your fingers; you intend to make sure he does.

[gguk-n]

Safe Haven (Carlos Sainz x Reader)

Thank you for the 200 followers. I'm having a lot of fun writing. Hope you guys enjoy this celebration post!!

Summary- Meeting Carlos was the best thing to happen to you.

{Reader's POV}

Ever since Carlos and I had gone public with our relationship; all the people I had avoided informing of our relationship had found out from the news. It was hard to miss when the world like to talk about who the girl was hanging on to one of the hottest F1 driver was.

The one person I had avoided telling about my relationship with Carlos the most was my own mother. Our relationship was always a tough one; she never could accept my choices or decisions. I've lost a lot of partners because of her. Either she would convince me or them that we weren't meant to be; and the next day I was crying on the bathroom floor.

I met Carlos after a particularly bad break up where the guy cheated on me because my mother said I was cheating on him and he should get me back. I really loved him but I felt like the stars had aligned when I met Carlos at the Real Madrid match I was dragged to by my roommate who was tired of watching me mope. The match wasn't very memorable but the guy I was sat next to was. I didn't know he was some formula one driver; all I knew was he was some hot Spanish guy who's voice made a shiver run down my spine. We exchanged numbers at the end of the night and stayed in touch for a while before we could meet up for a date. The date was beautiful and magical just like the fairytales.

We'd been dating for almost 2 years when I finally agreed to go to one of his races. I had moved out from the town that held me back and far far away from my mother. I felt like I was invincible at this point. I guess I forgot what she was capable of. The moment my face was plastered all over the news, my phone wouldn't stop ringing. I was scared. Carlos didn't know the extent of my hurt and why I avoided my mother.

Until a few days after the race, Carlos was out cycling with his friends and I was busy making cookies when I heard the door ring. Thinking it was Carlos, I opened the door; only to be met with the one person I was trying to run away from. "What are you doing here?" I asked, a tremble in my voice. "I heard you got yourself a rich and famous boyfriend. Won't you introduce me to him?" she asked while trying to look behind me. I tried to close the door but she was strong and walked right in. "Can't believe you actually found someone, gullible enough" she sneered taking the whole house in. My hands were shaking and there was a lump in my throat. "The house is big and looks expensive. You must be giving him a good reason to keep you around." she jeered. "Can you leave?" I asked, unsure of anything. "I could but then I wouldn't get to meet this boyfriend of yours, now would I" she replied taking a seat on the couch.

"Why are you here?" I asked, finally finding some strength. "Isn't it obvious? You got rich and famous and forgot your poor old mother who raised you?" she said solemnly. If I didn't know better, I would've been fooled. She leaned back on the sofa, "Come sit darling. It's your house after all" she said, patting the space next to her. I quietly took my place on the sofa next to hers. "I'm hurt. I see you after years and this is the kind of welcome I get" she sighed. "What do you want, now?" I asked more boldly. "I don't get what he sees in you" she started avoiding my question. "You're not pretty or petite like those models, or have money or fame that you can offer. Must be the sex. Am I right?" she asked. I was disgusted at what she said. "Good thing you learned how to please a man. The previous one had to find solace in another woman's arms because of you" she tsked. "He wouldn't have, if you hadn't lied" I spat. "I was only looking out for him" she smiled. "Carlos won't want you around once I'm done talking" she smirked. "He's different, he loves me." I cried out. "Oh dear, all men are the same. They'll leave for a better thing any day." she replied.

As if on queue, I heard the door open and Carlos called out, "Carino, I'm back and I have your favourite cheesecake from that shop you love." I sat there with bated breath. The moment he came in view, I quickly strode towards him. He had placed the cake in the kitchen and wrapped his arms around me, giving me a quick peck. I turned towards my mother and introduced him to her. "Babe, this is my mother. Mom, this is my boyfriend, Carlos." I said. Carlos sensed my unease with my posture to the way I was shaking slightly. He placed a hand on the small of my back and raised his hand to shake my mother's. "Nice to meet. Mrs Y/L/N. I've heard so much about you" he said. "Sadly, I haven't. You'd think that after you grow, birth and raise a child they'd care about you at least. But she left me to rot" she fake cried; the crocodile tears ready to fall. My heart was beating out of my chest. I felt weak and a part of me was scared that what if he listened to my mother and then what. "Mom, you should go, we have somewhere to be." I said, standing my ground. "What a shame? I was hoping to have lunch with you. Carlos, sweetheart, if she ever troubles you; give her a good beating, she's quite docile. I've let her loose and look at the trouble she is causing us both." she said, shaking her head. I felt like throwing up. Carlos was shocked, "Why would I hit her?" he asked. "It's ok darling, all righteous men hit their wives to keep them in line. I mean if you'll make this whore your wife that is" she snickered. "Y/N isn't a whore and I do plan on making her my wife" he replied disgusted at what my mother said.

"I would like it if you would stop disrespecting my girlfriend and leave right now." he asked politely. "Where would the fun be, if I left?" she asked. "Please leave before I call the police" he said sternly. I was shaking violently at this point, all those memories, resurfacing. Thankfully Carlos was able to get her to leave. When he came back after locking the door, I crashed in his arms. "Are you ok, hermosa?" he whispered. I started to cry, "Please don't leave me. I don't know what I'll do without you. I love you so much" I cried out in one breath, holding his shirt tightly. "I will never leave you, hermosa" he replied now carrying me to the sofa. We sat down in each others embrace while I cried my heart out. His shirt wet from all the sweat and my tears.

After I had calmed down, "I didn't know it was this bad" he whispered. "She's the reason my last boyfriend cheated on me" I mumbled. "Well, he was stupid. Good he left. That way I found you." he said while smiling. I finally smiled at him for the first time since my mother came. "Don't listen to anything she says. She doesn't know me, she doesn't know us. I love you so much and I would never let anything happen to you" he comforted. I gave him a hug, burying my face in his neck. He placed me on the sofa before getting up to go to our room. I thought he was going to get changed but instead he came back with something in his hand. "I had elaborate plans that my sisters were helping me in. But this is a better time then any." He said, while getting on one knee. My hands were on my mouth. "I love you since the day I first saw you at the Real Madrid match. I'm so happy that we were sat next to each other. I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you do me the honour by marrying me?" he stated. "Yes" I croaked out, giving him my left hand. He got up and kissed me. "I'll make sure no one can hurt you ever again. Not even your mother" he said giving me a kiss again. I smiled into the kiss wrapping my arms around him, knowing I was finally safe. "My sisters are gonna kill me, I asked them to plan such an elaborate proposal" he laughed. "I think they'll understand" I said, smiling at him. "Yeah, they love you more than they love me anyways" he chuckled. I was happy I thought while looking at the ring on my finger.

[godisshook]

I’ve had a crush on my roommate since we met in the summer, and I thought he liked me too, but he said we couldn’t when I finally got up the nerve to ask him out before break. He said he had to do something first, and left for break. I was so sad, but then on new years he texted me his resolution had been to become a “real man” for me this year… any idea what I should expect now that break is done?

A Real Man

You hoped that winter break would be a nice break from the weight of your confession to your roommate, Sean, but it was all you could think about. Had you made a mistake? Did you miss the signal?

You had talked with Sean occasionally, but not as much as on New Year's. While you didn't believe in all the superstitions around it, you still silently made a wish for the new year; making Sean yours. As the new year rolled in, you celebrated alone, hoping your wish would come true.

Fortunately, the wait wouldn't be long. Just a few minutes past midnight, you get a text on your phone from an unlikely source, Sean. Soon, the two of you were in full conversation. With plans for the new year being discussed, he drops a bomb. “Just letting you know, my resolution is to be a real man for you this year," he texted.

Intrigue came over you as you continued to text back and forth with him. As the conversation died down, he sent a final message that stopped you in your tracks. "Hope to see you soon, until then, hope these can hold you over." He sent the message with two attached photos, and as you scrolled up to see them, your jaw dropped.

The photo leaves you breathless, as you lay witness to just what he meant. He was huge, practically unrecognizable. Drooling over the pictures, to rushed to reply, "I hope to see you soon!" You winced at the exclamation mark in your text, hoping you weren't coming off too thirsty, but dirty thoughts were buzzing throughout your mind.

With winter break drawing to its close, you decided to leave early for campus, packing your bags and booking your flight. While you mainly wanted the extra time to pack, being able to see Sean too wouldn't hurt at all. You scheduled an Uber before getting on your flight, not wanting to bother anyone for a ride on campus. With goodbye texts sent, you got on the plane and dozed off as you got in the air.

As your plane begins its descent, you come to. You start to check for any missed texts, when you're met with one that catches your eye.

"I'll come get you from the airport."

Sean attached two photos of him and simply replied, "I'm ready." You trembled at the certainty of his response, even through text, and braced yourself for the car ride home.

As he put your suitcases in the car, his muscles bulged through his tank top, making your heart flutter. "Thank you so much," you said as you put your duffel bag in his car. "This is the treatment you deserve," he said as he laid a kiss on your forehead. You blushed, not used to this level of chivalry. The two of you recapped your winter breaks on the ride back, with giggling and somber moments included.

He brought your luggage inside, and you were entirely confused as to the sudden change in character. With the last of your bags inside, you demanded an explanation. The two of you sat down as he began to explain. "I know it sounds crazy, but I knew I wasn't right for you back when you first asked," he said. He continued, "That was my wake-up call, and so I had to get things right so I could live up to my promise." His expression darkened as he got closer, now standing above you. "I want to show you just how ready I am if you let me." Your reply was breathy, as your voice began to tremble under his dominance. "I want you, Sean." His response came in a dark tone:

"Kneel."

Your body responded before your mind could, as you kneeled on the floor, grasping onto his massive hands. He pulled down his pants, and his cock rose up in an instant. Looking over his huge dick, you wondered how you were going to suck it. Hoping to not have that question answered, you began giving him a handjob, your hands made minuscule against his massive cock.

But it was clear that wasn't enough. Sean looked down and moved your hands off his dick. His rock-hard cock was once more in your face, and you knew what was coming next.

Opening your mouth wide, he slid his cock inside your mouth. As he filled you up, you were forced to breathe from your nose, as his cock went further and further down your throat. Sean threw his head back in pleasure and began slowly sliding his cock out, immediately leaving you wanting more. In an instant, his hand was now gripping your head, as thrust his cock in and out of your mouth.

Cum had filled every part of your throat, and your face was a mess. He had asserted himself. His softer side revealed itself as he helped clean you up, picking you up and taking you to the shower, where he finally fucked you, his cock filling you like a key in a lock. It was bliss. As hot water made the heat inside you burn even hotter, you couldn't help yourself from coming, and Sean, noticing your release, sped up his thrusts to catch up to you.

The both of you finished your shower, even messier than when you entered. You both slept in Sean's room that night, as you cuddled deep into him. Sean had shown exactly what he meant, and you were overjoyed. It was looking like a wonderful start to your semester, and you thanked your lucky stars that your wish came true.

[heythrrdelilah]

Choose

Summary: New York City life gets a little lonely until you have too many choices

Pairings: timothee chalamet x F!reader, Austin Bütlér x F!reader

Warnings: honestly expect pure filth. Mmf but the males are straight and don't interact

Word count: 2,925

Authors note: it's been a while and this may or may not be loosely based on a random detailed dream I had the night before last also please know I'm not usually a smut writer and it's been ages so bare with me please

The dim lit bar was roaring with voices as the rush hour for bars came. You regretted letting your friend talk you into coming out. You would much rather be sitting on your couch with a fantasy novel and a cup of lavender tea, but your best friend and roommate was persistent. “See! Lavender vodka cocktails! I told you you could still get lavender tea!” She pulled you by your wrist to the bar. This was one of the many popular bars in New York so you had to squeeze between shoulders to even reach the counter. “You know it's not the same thing, right? It's important for me to know that you know that,” you questioned your friend with a brow raised, she threw her hair over one shoulder and rolled her eyes. Instead of responding she just ordered a lavender vodka lemonade for you and a planters punch for herself.

“Just don't leave me tonight. I didn't feel like coming but if you leave me alone this is the last time,” you sternly state as you wait for your drinks. After people had their orders in, the crowd around the bar became smaller and people were now gathered around tables and leather couches. The bar theme was modern chic. Crystal dim lighting, black leather couches around marble tables. You and your roommate definitely could not afford to drink here, especially on a regular basis, but she insisted that the only way to find a decent man was in high end bars. Not that you were looking.

“It will be fun! Go find a table, I'll wait for the drinks,” she instructed, clearly scouting the crowd. You pushed off of your elbows and looked around for an empty table. It was no surprise when every table and couch were full. You found an empty spot on a wall and leaned up against it.

“This should cheer you up, I got that guy to pay for our drinks,” meg, your roommate and best friend, handed you your glass and nodded towards a blonde man in an army green jacket who was staring in their direction. He had a nice smile and tilted his glass to Meg with a wink. It was painfully obvious that you were going to be left alone at some point tonight. “go for it,” you sighed. She shook her head, her red hair swaying with every turn, “he can wait for it. I need to let the anticipation build. For now, let's talk about your day, drink up and dance.” There wasn't much to dance to as today's rap hits played low level. “my day is never as interesting as yours. I just work at an unknown radio station. You're the celebrity photographer,” you say with a bit of laughter.

“You're just getting your start. Besides I'm just the photographer for BuzzFeed. it's my start too. But okay,” she began talking about the shoot she had just done for the cast of the Dune series. Meg was good about making the biggest celebrities sound like just a group of co-workers. The Dune cast had some of the biggest names in Hollywood but here she was talking about how Batista couldn't stay serious the entire shoot.

You moved on to her plans next week to shoot a rom com cast on Monday when a group walked into the bar and heads were turning from every direction. “meg, isn't thats the Dune cast,” you pointed out the obvious. You tried to keep your composure as Timothee chalamet was your biggest celebrity crush and he was walking in the doors. People brought out there phones and snapped a few pictures with it being a high class bar in New York City, it wasn't a huge deal.

Meg smiled wide and waved at the group. They spotted her and waved back as they began walking towards us. “what up?” Timothee shouted playfully as he hugged Meg. “If we had known you were coming to the same bar when you said you were going out later, we could have just left the office together!” Zendaya laughed giving Meg a one armed hug. Meg pointed to me, “this one needed a Friday night out so I had to stop home anyways.”

Florence smiled, “I needed to change anyways. That was probably one of the most fun shoots I've had for an interview though. Can we buy you girls drinks?” Florence looked to you and put her hand gently on your shoulder, “I'm so sorry, I'm Florence what's your name?” You told the group your name and Zendaya was laughing wrapping her arm around Florence, “yeah Flo she was standing herebthe whole time and we didn't even ask her name. No wonder people think celebrities are rude as hell. I'm Z this is Timothee and Austin.” You waved smiling, “it's nice to meet you all. I promise I'm not the loser I just sounded like I just prefer staying home.” They all nodded. Florence laughed, “I feel that heavily. Alright let's get some drinks at the bar and come back. the waiters here are too busy.”

While the cast walked off to get their drinks, a Waitress brought us two drinks we didn't order, the same ones we had as a first round. “they're from that gentlemen. Don't worry I prepared them and came right back this way,” she winked, obviously referring to how awful the world was. Meg blushed, her blue eyes wandering over to the blonde man from earlier. He was looking adoringly at her, blushing, he smiled and took a drink of his.

The group came back with their assortment of drinks in hand. After a few short minutes of sharing fun memories of the photoshoot earlier, Meg took a step back from your now formed circle, “you have no idea how much I want to stay and chat but I've been working on that,” she motioned to the blonde man, “for the past hour and I think it's time I stop his longing and say hi. You guys are amazing. Glad you're here to keep my bestie entertained, if you want of course okay bye!” She rambled, took a deep breath, and smoothly turned around with a look of curiosity.

“Shes good,” Florence complimented with a smile of approval and admiration. “so, where are you from?” Timothee immediately asked after taking a shit of his dark and smokey. His green eyes were fixed on yours, seemingly genuinely interested as one of his brows was up. You told him, and without hesitation asked another question, “what brings you to the city?” You didn't want to tell him the entire story about how you are a 24 year old divorcee so you just said work. “I wouldnt think someone who looks like you would be doing radio. A face like yours deserves to be seen,” Austin suddenly chimed in, saying the first words he's said all night. You blushed. Anyone would at those words spoken with his deep raspy voice.

You bit the inside of your cheek to stop yourself from showing your blushing. You took a sip of your drink. “Oh come on Austin you started off too strong,” Timothee chuckled. You didn't know what was happening. Zendaya and Florence burst out with laughter before wrapping one arm around each other, “too much testosterone. (Y/n) we will be over here people watching if you find this,” Zendaya used her hand to motion the guys, “disturbing.” Then they walked away. Both guys took a step forward, causing your to take a step back, placing your back against the wall. They were standing in front of you just a ruler length away.

You felt nervous. A tingling sensation overcame your stomach among other places. “do you guys have a bet or something?” You didn't want to fall for it if it was some joke. They were two of the biggest celebrities at this time and they were seemingly coming onto you. Both with girlfriends. “yeah, a bet of who could bring home the most beautiful woman in the room,” Austin stated, looking into your eyes intensely. The bar suddenly felt like a heater was turned up. You held your composure. “You both have girlfriends if the news sources are correct,” you retorted. They shook their heads, “PR” they said simultaneously. They could be lying. It was almost as if they read your mind, contracts between manages about it. Weird they just have it ready but they most likely had to do it often.

You played it cool and finished your drink without saying a word, or tasting it as you chugged it. “I'm going to grab another drink, go check on Meg and go home. You two can decide who is coming with me,” you would never have had the confidence to say the last part without liquid courage. Good thing you were at a bar. You walked between them as if they were saloon doors and tried your best not to look back. You saw Zendaya and Florence applauding and nodding with approval. Zendaya even pumped her fist mouthing “hell yeah.”

You leaned both of your elbows against the bar and flagged down the bartender. You ordered a long island iced tea with a lemon and a lavender garnish. You were going to need all the confidence you could muster up. However you could.

You told the bartender you would be back for it after freshening up. You walked swiftly to the bathroom and looked at yourself in the mirror. You regretted not going for a bit of a glam look but your “clean girl aesthetic” makeup would have to do. You looked to the other woman in the mirror who was fixing her mascara. Your expression must have been easy to read because she smiled big saying, “girl I got you!” The raven haired woman who looked at least 5 inches taller than you, reached into her clutch and pulled out a mini contour kit. “I saw you talking to the cast of Dune? Do you know them?” She questioned. You shook your head, “my best friend, practically sister does.” The woman brushed some highlight powder lightly across your cheeks,” Just enough to make some features pop, you don't want to change too much because it will look like you changed for them since they've already seen you.” she closed the kit, “good luck you are my hero.” She fixed my sweater so that it drapes over one shoulder, taking my academia look up a notch since my flowy long skirt couldn't be helped.

You weren't in the bathroom long because your drink was just being made when you got back to the counter. You took your drink and looked for Meg. Thankfully she was still there, giggling and caressing the mans bicep. She definitely wasn't coming home alone tonight. You walked over and dipped your drink, “I didn't want to interrupt but I'm headed home will you be okay?” You waited for the code word in case of danger, it never came. “I think we might stay out a bit. This is Taron. Taron this is, (y/n). Please stay out with us! You might meet someone!” She was glowing. Whatever this guy was saying to her was the cause of said glow. You smirked, shaking your head, “who said I'm going home alone?” Megs brows raised and she nodded, “okay go ahead.” She hugged you then whispered, “proud of you.” You took a breath and walked back to the guys. They were chuckling but stopped and went back to having swagger or as the kids would call it these days “rizz” which you learned meant charisma.

“Did you decide?” You lifted a brow, finishing your drink. They looked at each other and nodded as if they had some agreement. Austin took a step forward and leaned over to whisper in your ear, his low tone making a shiver to down your spine, “we actually couldn't decide.” Timothee stepped forward, Austin not moving, and leaned over to whisper in your other ear, “so let us both have you. Tonight. Then you will decide which one of us can take you to a dinner tomorrow night.” The last sentence was a demand and it sent your body into a frenzy but you kept your composure. You didn't say anything, you took a step back, put your glass on the counter and kept walking towards the door. You turned around before you got out of ear shot as they were both shrugging off disbelief they were rejected. But they weren't.

“Well? You boys coming or do I have to take care of myself after that?” They both perked up immediately and were practically tripping over their own feet as they said their goodbyes to Z and Flo.

You all stumbled out of the bar. Someone must have alerted the paparazzi and some fans, probably via deuxmoi, because there were cameras flashing outside the bar and you all stopped every few steps for them to take selfies with some fans. Austin finally said to the fans, “sorry guys, we are trying to catch up with an old friend tonight but we will be around tomorrow if we didn't manage to get to you.” we walked swiftly into the nearby metro station, “we are going to our hotel right?” Timmy asked as they managed to keep their heads down going down the steps. “no,” you shook your head, “you don't need to impress me with your 5 star hotels. It's already happening. My place is two blocks away.” They shrugged and followed you to your apartment, keeping their heads down as much as possible.

You reached your two bedroom small apartment quickly and kicked your boots off at the door. They followed suit. “your room, gorgeous?” Austin pointed to the door that had stickers of book titles all over the door. You nod once as he grabs your wrist and leads you slowly to your door timothee following you both and locking your bedroom door behind himself.

Timmy didn't hesitate to move your hair away from your neck and trail kisses down your neck and to your shoulder that was exposed on the one side. Austin gripped your face with his hand gently and kissed you passionately with just the right amount of tongue. Timmys hands went under your sweater, lifting it from your body, breaking your kiss with Austin briefly. When Austin's lips returned to yours his hand was gripping your hair now, you were getting weak in the knees.

Timothee used one ringed finger to trace the outline of your torso and gripped your breasts from under your bra before releasing them using his other hand. Timmy reached his head around you to place a breast in his mouth and push Austin away in one motion. He got down on his knees before you and slowly pulled your skirt and thong off in one go. “Bed. Now,” Austin demanded. He pulled his shirt off and Timmy followed suit. You lay on the bed, your ass aligned with the edge and Austin quickly found his way between them, trailing soft, ticklish kisses down your thighs in a teasing manner. Timmy began unbuttoning his own pants as Austin worked his tongue around your clit. You arched your back and moaned in pleasure with your hand gripping Austin's hair. Timothee got on the bed and kissed you passionately.

“Suck it for me?” Timmy smiled, his bedroom eyes arousing you. You nod and Austin grabs your hips, flips you around and has you in doggy style. He still works his tongue as you place Timothee into your mouth. Timothee groans and Austin inserts himself into you, slowly, teasingly for the first few thrusts. Then hard, causing you to scream in pleasure then slow again.

The two take turns on you, sometimes just watching you with the other but neither interacting with each other minus a few compliments and “damn bro she's loving this” comments. Two men so comfortable with their own sexuality made them even more attractive to you.

When you finished, you realized an hour and a half had passed. Austin lay on your bed staring at the ceiling repeating “wow” and “incredible” timothee pulling his boxers back on. Austin looked like he needed a breath so naturally, “timothee?” You beconed as you stood at your bathroom door naked, “shower with me?” he ripped his shorts off and joined you.

“Decided who you wanted to go to dinner with?” Timmy smirks the next morning, assuming he was the clear winner in his own head. You hadn't decided yet. They both slept on the floor. “leave your numbers on that notebook and I'll call one of you later,” you instructed. The both wrote their numbers down and you all walked out to your kitchen. Meg was sitting there drinking her coffee, which caused you to turn bright red. The guys were blushing too. “‘morning,” timothee blushed and waved to meg. She looked surprisingly well rested and didn't have the blonde with her.

“It was nice seeing you again,” Austin spoke to meg, his cheeks bright red as you moved towards the door. They put their shoes on and you let them out. “you'll actually call right?” Timothee asked with a nervous smile. “I guess you'll see,” you stated before closing the door and joining meg at the counter. “im seeing Taron for a proper date tonight but you…you have some explaining to do,” she stated while pouring your coffee.

[thefallennightmare]

So I turn 29 on Wednesday, but I also have to have surgery the same day so I’ll be celebrating while delulu from pain meds and anesthesia wearing off. But it also means I plan on reading a lot during my week long recovery and maybe (hopefully) get some proper write done too.

For Headcannon Tuesday, I was thinking Jesse meets reader, who is a writer, in a cute little bookstore/cafe where they are both regulars. Feelings develop and one day while he walks her home they get caught in the rain. Make it as romantic as you want.

@thescarlettvvitch @mitchhbitch @burning-outx @missduffsblog @hayleylatour @sleepyomens @loeytuan98 @artificialbreezy @marvelousmal @bngurngheart @lma1986 @dsireland86 @wild-child-7747 @calleyx13 @illmakeyousaywow @jaded-and-hollow-souls @concreteemo @cookiesupplier @thatchickwiththecamera @whenthesummerdies @lookwhatitcost @klutzy-kay24 @tashka

HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY AND I HOPE SURGERY GOES WELL! I'll be sending you all the good vibes!

"Excuse me? Is this seat taken?"

Glancing up from your laptop, you felt your heart jump into your throat at the sight in front of you.

A man with a head full of curls and dark round glasses held a book to his chest and a coffee in the other hand.

He was gorgeous.

You pointed to the seat at the table next to you in the busy coffee shop. "Go for it."

Not wanting to bother him, you went back to typing away the book you were working on.

Every so often your eyes would catch his as he was already staring at you.

"Business or pleasure?" The man asked while motioning to your laptop.

"A little bit of both?" You smiled. "I'm writing a novel."

"Yeah, what's it about?" The man set down his book to give you his full attention.

You spent the new few minutes going over the premise of your book.

"I'm not sure how to end it though. But I'm sure the idea will come to me eventually," you sighed.

The barista brought you a to-go cup of coffee, your name written on it and the man smiled.

"Y/N."

Your skin ignited at hearing how your name sounded on his lips.

"My name is Jesse," he extended his hand towards you.

You took it with a smile and loved how his skin felt on yours. "Nice to meet you, Jesse. Will I be seeing you around here more?"

"Definitely."

Every week, you and Jesse showed up at the coffee shop at the same time almost every day and spent time either reading your own books, working on your novel, or listening to him read from his book.

Almost two weeks of this, the two of you stayed later at the cafe than you usually do to wait out the storm but knowing that the cafe was about to close, you had no choice but to walk through the storm.

Your apartment was around the block, hence why you walked here earlier in the day.

"Can I walk you home?" Jesse asked.

You buttoned up your jacket. "You didn't drive?"

"Nope, my roommate dropped me off," he chuckled. "So it's only fair if you have to walk home in the rain, I should too."

"In that case, sure," you nodded with a smile.

You two took your time walking home in the rain, your giggles at feeling so carefree and alive radiating off of you, and made Jesse watch you with an adorning gaze.

"Hey, Y/N?" Jesse questioned when you ran up the stairs of your complex, not finding any cover from the rain yet.

"Yeah?" You shook out the rain from your hair.

He helped you by brushing away the strands from your face. "I think I figured out how your book should end."

With furrowed brows, you were ready to ask how but felt soft lips against yours.

Jesse's hand rested on your hips and you grabbed onto his sweater, pulling him closer.

The rain continued to pelt against the two of you, soaking you to your bones.

But the only thing that mattered was how breathless Jesse made you from this simple kiss.

"You're right," you mused while resting his forehead against his. "This is a perfect way to end my story. Although, I think in real life things are just getting started."

[fluffyprettykitty]

I thought something with college and shy Tony × female reader. First Valentine's Day together, Tony is trying his best to plan the perfect date, and of course he succeeds. After the date, they spend the night together

Patio Love

Pairing: college! Tony Stark x female reader (no other specifications!)

Word Count: 1200 words

Outline: Tony has planned a lovely surprise for you but not everything goes to plan.

Author's Note: thank you bb for this request! I wanna wish everyone a happy valentine's day and remember there is nothing a fictional man cannot do for you <;3 this might be a month late but it is here!!!!!! and that's what matters!!!!! aye!!

Warnings: tony is a horny slut :( involuntary exhibitionism, penetrative unprotected sex, biting, marking, breast worship, swearing, pet names, and dirty talk.

P.S: dividers by @firefly-graphics //​ banners by @maysdigitalarts

Main Masterlist ・❥・Tony Stark Masterlist

NSFW UNDERNEATH THE CUT. MINORS DNI.

Tony was nervous.

He had no right to be as nervous as he was but this was the first Valentine's day you'd spent together and the first he'd celebrate with a girlfriend. So everything had to be perfect. For a week he'd spent his time after school trying to come up with unique ideas for your special date.

At first, he had thought of hot air balloons which Rhodey had sat down as it's very cold and you'd probably freeze, Happy had suggested a nice Italian restaurant and a romantic walk downtown but he felt that was too pedestrian for his liking.

Finally he'd come up with a plan, of various letters and clues that would determine you to a location where you'd have a lovely dinner.

Much to his dismay though, your roommate accidentally throws out the first clues and therefore the game is lost before it even starts. In the end, he settles for a card handed to you by a semi-functional robot covered in pink glitter.

Now as for the dinner plans? His plan was to set up a table on the patio of their shared apartment while he made sure they were all gone so you could enjoy your time together. What he didn't expect though was for you to show up in that well-fitted dress that hugged around your body just right making his eyes pop out the moment he saw you coming up the stairs.

The rose bouquet in his hands was quickly taken by your hands trying to smell them before he gripped you tightly and pulled you in a feverish kiss. "Tony, the roses!" You try to mumble between his needy passionate kisses and his wandering hands. "I need you." He mumbles in return, his hands squeezing your ass while he was practically moaning at your ear, his lips tracing your neck.

"What about the food? Tony, focus!"

"I got my meal right here." The way he bites down your neck, sucking in a bruise to mark this special occasion has you shutting your eyes. Maybe the food could wait for later. Evidently, you will need it.

You don't protest anymore, it's not like you didn't know the affect you had on him, you let him suck and bite on your neck, tracing his lips down to your breasts, hoping the low light of the candles and the street lights would keep you safe from any prying eyes.

If only you knew...

He pushes down the strap of your dress with his teeth looking up at you with his sparkling eyes, his passion shining through as his hands squeeze your ass, his free hand trying to find your zipper. No matter how much he loved you in that dress he wanted you out of it. Your hands are playing softly with his fluffy hair, you loved watching him worshipping you like that, wanting to taste every inch of your skin like you are all deliciously his.

Once he pushes the zipper down, he can finally free your breast and he immediately brings his hands forward to squeeze them and place the flat of his tongue all over them, toying with your nipples with the tip while lovingly gazing up at you. He looked happy, content, blissfully, in his right place one could say.

It's not long till he reaches further down leaving a trace of kisses down your stern and your belly, until the dress is falling off you, leaving you in just your tiny little cotton thong right there on the patio, he places sweet kisses down the line, mumbling how much he loves you, while his hands are caressing your thighs.

"Tony...my sweet pretty boy..."

You giggle as he seems to get drunker and drunker on you by the moment, it's hard for him to stop and he starts anyway but he had gotten you far too wet and he could eat you out another time, for now, you need to get properly fucked.

"Please, fuck me against the railings."

And he fucking snapped his neck to look at you, taking no longer than half a second before he is grabbing you and pushed you against the railings, quickly flumping with his pants and undoing his shirt before ripping it off at the floor. His poor cock looked so strained inside his boxers it made you almost feel bad for him. You stroke him once and twice clothes as it is and he curses as his cock twitches for you.

"You fucking driving me wild, baby."

He whispers and a couple of minutes later, he is inside you, your breaths getting short as your lips hang off of each other and your hands holding his chin to look at him. Your one leg wraps around him as he slowly begins to push his cock inside, allowing your pussy as he liked saying to swallow him in willingly because that's only how much he could know how you wanted him to fuck you.

Moans and groans and all in between fill the cold air, his hands holding on to the railings to protect you from injuring yourself, as his cock almost synchronized with his breaths. The shortest he inhaled the quickest he fucked you. Almost like a breathing exercise.

He only slipped out of your for a moment just to rub his dick on your pussy lips to feel the way you mewled when he did that, arching yourself in a way to make you get inside him again. It felt romantic, intimate like you were becoming his and him all devotedly yours. He kisses your lips when he enters you again, your wetness ailing him to hit your sweet spot fast and precisely. None of you would last long, not anymore, not as you are getting lost inside each other eyes like this. He slows a little, preferring the slow sensual type of fucking for an occasion like this.

His hands come up to your face holding up your chin for him. "I want to hear you cum on me. I need you please, baby, you have done so well for me." He pleads with you and your hands try to hold on to him as you let go, a loud moan following your action as he spills his seed inside you, filling you up.

The moment was too beautiful, him inside you, you're getting lost in each other, your bodies becoming one, that's until a loud applause was heard and you horrified and looked at the source of that noise as the image of five of your classmates were pressed on the window looking at you both and cheering.

The embarrassment would soon be replaced by pure exhilaration as you felt Tony getting harder immediately inside you, knowing very well you just discovered one of his most secret kinks.

Happy fucking valentine's day indeed.

for updates please follow @fluffyprettykittylibrary and turn on post notifications!

[slut-taylorsversionnn]

summary: part 1 of tom blyth x med student (idk how many parts this will be so just enjoy!) also this is taking place pretty much modern day when tom is filming part 2 of season 2 of billy the kid.

mackenzie blaire was my best friend and roommate. we met our sophomore year at nyu when her boyfriend had broken up with her OVER TEXT and i found her in the bathroom at a bar sobbing her eyes out. i was at the time getting over a very toxic situation ship so we immediately hit it off and have been roommates and best friends ever since. she was currently pursuing her acting career while i was in my 4th year of med school. mackenzie had starred in billy the kid alongside tom blyth and ever since then let’s just say i had developed a crush on him. me and mackenzie had gone to see the ballad of songbirds and snakes in theaters together and let’s just say my crush had gotten ten times worse. so tonight was the people’s choice awards and tom and mackenzie were both nominated for season 2 of billy the kid. and of course mackenzie picked me to be her plus one!

“i am soo nervous.” i said pouring mackenzie and myself a cup of coffee.

“you will be fine and tom will be obsessed with you by the end of the night, trust me!” she said.

“but kenz you are the outgoing and bold one, me not so much. this is why you’re the actress and i’m still in college.” i sighed, med school was super interesting and everything i thought it would be but sometimes seeing how successful kenzie was kinda made me jealous.

“ok first of all, you are like the smartest person i know. and you are so funny so please don’t get yourself down. you are so positive about everyone else, it’s time for you to be happy for yourself!” kenzie always knew what to say.

“you’re so right. i am just going to enjoy myself and we are going to have the best time regardless that i might get rejected by the single hottest guy on the planet, tom blyth.” i laughed.

i was enjoying my coffee and reading my book when my phone buzzed. i picked it up to see that tom blyth started following me on instagram. i sprinted into mackenzie’s room.

“TOM JUST FOLLOWED ME ON INSTAGRAM!” i pretty much shouted at her.

“oh my gosh y/n! this is huge!! i have been texting him on and off today and i told him you were quite the catch soo….”

“what exactly did you say???” i love how she just casually brought up that she was texting tom blyth like what.

“just how charming and sweet and funny you are. i guess that made him want to go check out your insta and he must’ve liked what he saw.” she said eyebrows wiggling.

“now i literally cannot wait to get to see him tonight! this is actually insane am i dreaming right now??”

she laughed, “i’m so happy for you! looks like its time to get ready, tom won’t know what hit him when you get onto that red carpet!”

we walked into our shared bathroom. it was perfect to get ready because of the huge double sink vanity.

“kenz you have no idea how excited i am! the nerves are like completely gone and i just can’t believe i actually get to come with you!”

“yay, y/n i am so happy you get to come too. like who else would i want to party it up with on a red carpet?” she laughed and we started putting on our makeup. i loved getting all glammed up and mackenzie curled my hair. i finally put on my yellow floor length dress that was absolutely stunning. it hugged my body perfectly and had a slit that came up the side. i then slipped on my gold heels and stepped out to see mackenzie in her gorgeous coral dress.

“omg y/n you are STUNNING! tom isn’t going to be able to take his eyes off of you!!” mackenzie exclaimed.

“mackenzie you literally look like a disney princess right now, that dress was made for you!!” we definitely picked out our dresses to match each other and man we were going to kill it on the red carpet.

we stepped out of our car and i was immediately overwhelmed by the flashing of cameras and the amount of people at this event. i felt like a celebrity myself with all the pictures being taken of me and mackenzie. all of a sudden i heard someone saying mackenzie’s name. i turned around and bam there was tom blyth.

“tom!! it is so great to see you!” kenzie said leaning in for a hug. oh my goodness he looked even better in person if that was even possible. THE tom blyth was hugging my best friend. like obviously they had acted together in billy the kid and every time i watched it that felt insane to me but seeing this in person was crazy.

“mackenzie! it is so so good to see you darling.” tom said in his accent which was the hottest thing ever. then those blue eyes found their way to mine. “you must be y/n! kenzie won’t shut up about how awesome you are, it is such an honor to meet you in person.” he said. my shocked face was blocked from his view as he pulled me into a hug. oh my gosh i am hugging tom blyth right now at the people’s choice awards. he said it was an honor to meet me. is my life even real right now?? my mind was spinning.

“it is such an honor to meet you! you were so amazing in billy the kid and the hunger games, i’m glad people are understanding the tom blyth hype now.” i gushed, im sorry but i was completely fan girling like how could i not??

“oh the tom blyth hype? are you a supporter?” he questioned, was he flirting? was i flirting with tom blyth?

“i guess you could say that.” i blushed. now keep in mind somehow during this conversation kenzie had abandoned me so it was just me and tom on the red carpet which i guess i should thank her for but i was also very flustered.

“do you ever get used to these cameras?” i questioned tom as the cameras flashed at us.

“not really, but it’s easier to get through when you have company.” he winked. that sent butterflies erupting in my stomach. so what exactly had mackenzie said about me that made tom so flirty tonight??

“may i?” he asked wondering if he could slip his arm around my waist to pose for some more pictures. i just nodded and giggled. he laughed and snaked his arm around my waist.

“that dress is gorgeous on you, i can’t believe this is your first red carpet. you are such a natural at this.” tom whispered into my ear. feeling his breath on my neck sent shivers down my spine.

“i think it’s because you are doing all the work. i’m just standing here and looking pretty.” i shrugged making him laugh.

as we neared the end of the carpet there were stairs we had to climb down. and tom being the gentleman that he was, went down quickly so he could hold my hand and help me down the stairs. the lyrics from slut! by taylor swift started playing in my head ‘in a world of boys he’s a gentleman.’ we made our way inside and there were so many tables i had no where to go and i froze. tom smiled and placed his hand on the small of my back and led me to our table. gosh he was hot, funny, and so sweet.

“y/n! you made it. i see you and tom had a fun time on the carpet.” kenzie said as me and tom sat down. my seat was perfect - i was in between tom and mackenzie. other actors that worked on billy the kid were also seated at our table such as daniel webber and josh cruddas.

“y/n is quite the natural on the carpet. she was cracking jokes and that was the fastest the red carpet has ever gone for me, i think she needs to come to all of my events.” tom gushed.

“i wouldn’t mind. getting all glammed up is pretty fun and you were the one cracking all the jokes. i feel like i just stood there laughing the whole time.” i smiled. how were me and tom acting like old friends already, we just met? the chemistry was wild.

the lights started to dim signaling the show was about to begin. they were announcing action movie of the year and the ballad of songbirds and snakes won!! i shot out of my seat to congratulate tom. since he was right next to me i got to hug him first hehe.

“congratulations tom!!” i cheered as he hugged me. he smiled and went to hug kenzie and then he went up on stage with the rest of the hunger games cast. rachel zegler started her speech saying how thankful she was for the wonderful cast and the amazing fans. then tom said how this was such a wonderful opportunity and he was so thankful for the franchise and everyone showing so much support. i clapped and got a little teary eyes at their speeches.

tom returned to his seat and the rest of the table said their congratulations. the show continued and rachel zegler won the action movie star of the year. taylor swift won lots of course, loved her so much.

then billy the kid won an award and the whole table stood up except me and made their way to the stage. mackenzie and tom said a few words of thanks and i was so proud!

after the show we headed to the after party and me and kenzie headed over to the bar.

“what could you have possibly said to tom?” i questioned her, “he’s been all over me tonight!”

“i don’t know, he must just be in love with you, i mean who wouldn’t.” she replied. “now let’s party it up! i heard there was gonna be some karaoke too.”

i was sipping on my drink and mackenzie had wondered off to talk to some other friends of hers and i was content to people watch. that’s when tom walked up to the bar and asked for some whiskey.

he smiled at me and asked, “how is your first red carpet after party going?”

“well i heard there was going to be some karaoke so i figured some alcohol in my system would give me the confidence to go up there. i love karaoke but im just some random med student at the people’s choice awards.”

“would it help if we were to do a duet?” tom offered eyebrows raised.

“that would be so fun! what song are you thinking?” i was grinning so much right now.

“i’m up for anything, the point of karaoke is to not know the words anyway.”

“umm definitely not the point of karaoke but we’re just going to ignore that flaw of yours.”

“flaw of mine?? i feel personally attacked on that one l/n.” he said.

i rolled my eyes and held back a giggle, “ooh! i have a song idea, but no making fun of me blyth. why don’t we we do what makes you beautiful by one direction! that would be a great duet and the crowd would love it.”

“you would be a one direction fan.” tom chuckled.

“i told you no making fun of me. and you are so a fan too, i can just tell.”

“fine you caught me. i love listening to one direction.” tom says.

i grabbed his hand and dragged him over to the sign up sheet. kenzie came up to us, “you got tom to sign up for karaoke??” she exclaimed.

“oh yeah! we’re doing a one direction song, it’s gonna be great!” i replied.

“be ready to be blown away.” tom said laughing.

before i knew it, it was time to go up and sing our duet. “you ready for this, darling?” tom asked helping me up on stage.

“oh i was born ready tom.” i giggled.

the song starts and i start singing:

You're insecure, don't know what for

You're turnin' heads when you walk through the door

Don't need makeup to cover up

Bein' the way that you are is enough

then tom starts singing and i forget about everyone watching

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we sing together and i walk closer towards him

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

tom sings looking at me the whole time

So c-come on, you got it wrong

To prove I'm right, I put it in a song

I don't know why you're being shy

And turn away when I look into your eyes

then i sing back to him

Everyone else in the room can see it

Everyone else but you

then we both sing dancing around the stage

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

Na, na-na-na, na-na-na, na, na

Na, na-na-na, na-na

i sing and turn towards everyone watching and blush when i feel tom’s eyes on me

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground, it ain't hard to tell

You don't know you're beautiful

both of us:

Baby, you light up my world like nobody else

The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed

But when you smile at the ground it ain't hard to tell

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful

If only you saw what I can see

You'll understand why I want you so desperately

Right now I'm looking at you and I can't believe

You don't know, oh-oh, you don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

You don't know you're beautiful, oh-oh

That's what makes you beautiful

everyone is cheering to loudly and i feel like i have just had my high school musical troy and gabriella moment with tom. i looked at him and he had the biggest grin on his face and i knew i looked the same way. we got off stage and tom goes, “did we really just do that?”

at the same time i go, “that was incredible.” we just start laughing. mackenzie runs up to us.

“guys that was literally straight out of a movie. you guys had every single person at this party invested.” she said.

“i think that was my best karaoke performance yet.” i said grinning.

“i think it’s time to quit acting and me and y/n can take this show on the road.” tom laughed.

“such a great idea.” i said laughing and grabbed his arm to stabilize myself in my heels.

kenzie dragged us onto the dance floor and at some point rachel zegler, josh rivera, and hunter schafer joined us on the dance floor. what?! my mind was blown as they all said how amazing me and tom’s performance was. we danced and drank and laughed and boy was it a blast.

the party winded down and mackenzie and i were making our way out.

“wait y/n!” i heard tom call as i was about to climb into our car. i turned around as he jogged up to me.

“tonight was so fun and i just wanted to say it was a blast getting to know you, can i by chance get your number?” he asked sheepishly.

“yes of course! i had the best time too, you really know how to party!” i said laughing. we exchanged numbers and he hugged me good bye.

“see you later tom.”

“hope to see you soon l/n.”

author’s note: hope you all enjoyed! i can’t wait to continue this series. leave suggestions for other stories you want to read and i will get to it!

[fandomfiish]

@inahallucination @theluminoussunflower for ya  __________________________________________________ "Neil."

Neil stares at Todd as he looked at him with a smile. "What is it, Todd?"

"I ... " Todd closes his mouth seemingly in a battle with himself before he lets out a breath. "I just need to say something."

Neil only nods, his smile never leaving.

"Ever since we've met you've always been beside me. I’ve always wondered why, and all I could ever know is that you liked me ... even if I was not as talkative as you and the group. And I thank you for that.”

Todd had a smile while he talked, Neil really love that. It’s good to see him smile again. 

“And then as we talked together I started to get this weird feelings, especially when you were around which technically the whole day due to us being roommates. I was scared, scared that this might change things between us and I was more scared when I found it growing more as year went.” Todd voice shakes as he said that, with Neil wanting to comfort Todd as he lets his heart out.

“You made me feel like I’m special man in this cruel world. You supported my poems, was always there when I felt terrified. You believed in me when most don’t, and even if now you aren’t alone in that part, you were always my number one supporter.” Todd was smiling when he spoke, which in turn made Neil’s smile grow, he felt himself proud that he is Todd’s Number one. 

“And that’s when I found myself accepting it, that I’ve fallen for Welton’s Golden Boy.” Todd grins. “You know Charlie helped, he overheard me having a panic attack about it and he was there, apparently he shares the feeling, just with a certain tall dense idiot but that’s a story for Charlie to tell.” 

Neil found himself laughing, he knew about Charlie and Knox’s situation but to find that Charlie helped Todd made Neil happy. He kept his promise ... I’m glad.

“Charlie was so supportive of us you know? He said that I made you really happy and he hopes the best for the both of us.” Todd grips the flower on his arms as he continue. “I actually planned to confess the night of your play, after the celebrations, after the meeting, just us in our room. It felt the perfect moment.” 

Neil felt his heart break as he heard this, he knew what’s coming next.

“When Mr. Perry arrived and whisked you away from me, I though that my plan to confess was ruined, B-But I thought I can still confess when you return right?” Todd was gripping the flower too hard now almost breaking it. “I thought that hey I can still confess to you, it didn’t matter if it was the perfect moment.” Tears fell on Todd’s cheeks, and Neil all but wanted to wipe those tears from him. 

“Then I woke up and Charlie’s there, the others were too but I was too focused on Charlie cause he was crying and Charlie never cries. “And then he said the words I was dreading to hear. And then everything was a blur after that. You were gone, then Charlie was gone, then Mr. Keating. It felt like every good things in my life are leaving me and I can’t do anything about it.” 

Neil stood there, since that’s all he can do. As much as he wants to pull Todd into a hug and tell him that’s everything is going to be okay, he can’t. He thinks it’s cruel that fate lets him stay in the world of the living, seeing all of the effects of his own decision. 

“Cameron was too ashamed to talk to us, Knox was trying his best with Meeks to help me and Pitts to just eat everyday. Knox was our only communication with Charlie at that time but it felt so hopeless Neil. It felt like when you died, a part of me died as well.”

Todd stepped closer to Neil, staring at him and Neil saw the pain in his eyes, and he felt his chest tighten wanting to not look at his eyes but he found himself frozen, tears falling from his own eyes.  

“I will never understand why’d you do it. I wanted to h-hate you, but I can’t.” He sighs. “I love you, and still love you. You made me feel love that I’ve never felt before, the love that I know I’ll never feel with anyone except you.” He smiled, it was devastating that Neil sobs as his felt his knees give up as he kneels. 

Todd still smiles standing in front of Neil Perry’s grave, staring at the photograph of Neil in front of him. “I’ll never fall in love again.” Neil felt his heart shatter, standing up, his hands finding it to Todd’s shoulder yet it just phases through Todd yet Neil didn’t care. 

“I ... “ Neil starts, as much as he felt elated that Todd shared the same feelings to him, he want Todd to move on, to meet someone better than him, someone who wouldn’t leave him and make him cry. “You can’t do that, I’m sure you’ll find someone better than me!” 

Todd felt a chill, it seems like its getting colder. “I though of it you know?” He starts. “To fall in love with someone else,” Neil kept his mouth shut. “And ... it never felt the same. And then I decided that maybe I felt that love with just you. And with you gone I’ll never feel that again.” Todd then kneels phasing past Neil as drops the flower he was holding under Neil’s grave. “And I accepted that, so I hope, if you are out there, accept that.” 

Neil found himself speechless as Todd laughs. “And yet I don’t know if you share the same feelings as I, Charlie did say you loved me as much as I did, but it feels better to hear if from you. Though that’ll never happen so I hope Charlie was right.” 

Neil stands up with a bitter smile he spoke. “I love you too Todd, ever since we’ve met I’ve felt connected to you, somehow you make every dull moment on Welton, memorable. You were supportive and cared about me and made me feel like my dreams are worth something.” He felt tears falling again. “And I’m so sorry to make you cry like this, I’m so sorry for giving you so much pain, I’m so sorry for not being able to tell you that I love you Todd Anderson. That will be my greatest regret.” 

“I hope you’re happy wherever you are Neil. Know that you’re always on my mind.” Todd said and Neil knows this. After all he followed Todd most of the time, he was slowly healing, which he was proud of but he can’t help but see some mementos of himself near Todd most of the time, especially the poster of the midsummer dream that was folded and was always on Todd’s pocket wherever he goes.

Neil felt himself conflicted, he regrets that decision he made, at the moment it was the only thing he felt was right as he was making his own choice, something that his father was trying to take from him. And yet seeing the repercussions of his decision he felt like he made a mistake. 

And how he wished that night went a little more differently. 

Neil and Todd didn’t notice footsteps incoming until they spoke. 

“Neil.”

“Talking with our friend here Toddy?”

Neil looked as Todd turned around and there Knox and Charlie was, with a their own smile holding plethora of feelings.  

“Yeah, are they already there?” Todd felt himself smile, and Neil couldn’t help but smile either, happy to see two of his other friends. 

“Pitts and Meeks just arrived, and you know how punctual Cameron is.” Knox replies. “We can give you more time if you still want to stay here.” 

“No-” 

“It’s alright Toddy, I mean it’s not like we can always visit Neil given how hectic all of our schedules are, trust me we’d both know since were roommates.” Charlie jokes which made Todd laugh. And Neil stood up, giving his three friends some space as he smiles at them. 

“It’s alright I think I’ve said what I wanted to.” Todd gave one look at Neil’s grave again, a bitter smile replacing his lips. Knox and Charlie both as well, sharing the same expression. 

“He loved you.” Charlie broke the silence.

Todd didn’t respond.

“I do.” Neil spoke.

Todd eyes widened for a second, then he smiles. And Neil hoped, and begged that Todd heard him. 

“Thank you.” Todd whispers unknown if its for Charlie or Neil, or perhaps both as he stands up. 

“Ready to go?” It was Knox who asked, and Todd nods. 

“Goodbye Neil.” Todd spoke, before he starts walking with Knox who said his own goodbye. 

Charlie remained and with a smile he said. “We’ll take care of him, don’t worry.” And he was gone.

Neil watched them go, and as much as he wants to follow them he wanted to be himself for now. As he mind echoes of what Charlie said. And he thought that maybe...

Maybe he could start moving on.

[fuckyeahfightlock]

Man, I'm tired.

Anyway. Scary movie for today was one I gambled on. . .and lost.

Starry Eyes is a 2014 slasher/psychological/body horror written and directed by two white guys, financed by a Kickstarter, and debuted at South x Southwest. Sarah (Alexandra Essoe) is a waitress with dreams of fame. When she lands an audition for a "gateway" lead role in a film produced by Astaerus Films, she strikes a silent and terrible bargain to make her dreams come true.

It took me almost half the movie to figure out what I wasn't liking about it (aside from the dim lighting and grey-brown colour palette). While Alexandra Essoe's performance is impressive--I'd like to see her in something else--the character of Sarah is so frustratingly passive. She does not make a single clear-headed decision at any point in her journey, instead allowing herself to be shamed by her mean, asshole "friends;" manipulated by her zeta-male boss; drugged by an indie director; and conned/exploited by the movie producers. Maybe that's on purpose, there's some metaphor in there about the willing masochism of the fame-hungry in the name of furthering a career. . .or something. . .but there are a lot of metaphors here that are murky, tangled, and not fully or clearly explored.

After a bad audition for the lead role, Sarah self-harms by yanking out her hair, then is called back into the audition and asked to "have her fit" again, this time for the producers; she does, and also strips naked and photos are taken. She gets the gig, quits her job, refuses to fuck the producer, loses the gig, begs for her job back (as if there is no other waitressing job in Los Angeles than at a D-list Hooters-style dive called "Big Taters"). Her "friend" casts her in his indie film, gives her an unidentified pill to celebrate, but then kisses her friend, so she puts on a little black dress and stumbles back to give the producer a BJ. He holds her head and demands for her to "Become the woman I thought you were! The woman you were born to be."

Excuse you? The woman she was born to be is the one YOU thought she was? Ugh. Dude. So gross. Plus the sound design in this movie is just disgusting, so there are slurping, gagging, and humming noises in the background.

Sarah goes home with her lead role restored, but she feels kind of oogy. Does she ever! All that night, her teeth and hair and fingernails fall out. She gags and retches and cries. She vomits up bloody maggots (the sound was so gross *I* almost vomited. I had to pause it and leave the room to make tea). She calls Astaerus Films for help, screaming, "I'm dying!" because, yes, she is. She is dying, and it's not pretty.

The end of this mess finds her murdering everyone around her--her roommate and friends, the indie director--in gruesome, too-realistic ways. A man screams and screams as she stabs him in the back. A woman she thought she'd killed starts moving so she suffocates her with a clear plastic bag. It's so incredibly awful and disturbing.

In the end, Sarah is (literally) reborn at an occult meeting of late-middle-aged film executives, emerging from a caul and then up through the earth, naked and hairless, into a new life as a famous actress. It all seems so pointless, and it's probably meant to, but this film thinks it's much cleverer than it is.

I could have put up with the intense gore, repulsive sound design, and even the clunky/heavyhanded Sold My Soul To The Devil metaphors if only Sarah had one single shred of agency. She started out weak and never woman'd up. Not even a little. I didn't even see in her, in the first few minutes, that she really wanted to act, or to be famous. She was just a girl waiting tables and critiquing her body in front of a mirror, hanging out with her awful friends who clearly don't even like her. She just got carried along on the current, accidentally brushing up against situations and never choosing a single action or reaction. Again, all of that may have been a choice, but if so, it was a flimsy one. I've been spoiled so far this month by a lot of woman-led productions; I think this would have been a different film if it had been directed by a woman.

Do not recommend. If you want to watch a surreal film about a woman doing what it takes to gain fame, and the horrible results, watch The Neon Demon instead; it's much better. (But don't reblob gifs from it on tumblr or people will call you "an asshole" for not putting "trigger warnings" on them!)

(not this one but you get it)

[dailyhelldorm]

2023 Rei's birthday talk

Rei: Kukuku, I got this many friends to celebrate my birthday. Oh how I wish I could tell my old self about this ♪

Location: Band Rehearsal Studio

Mini talk: A word on Birthday (1/3)

Rei: Koga, perform once more time. I am unexpectedly starting to enjoy it more ♪

Koga: Hey hey, how many times have you made me perform already? Your birthday party gotta starts really soon, is idle killing time like this really fine and all?

Well, I am also hyping up so not that I am complaining...

You are here.

Rei: Oh, it’s you, young lady. Perhaps the guitar’s melody has attracted you... ♪

Koga: Oh. Don’t just stand at the door like that, come here.

Happy birthday to you!

Rei: Umu. Thank you, young lady. I am soaking in your well-wishing words...

This morning when I woke up, my roommate Shiratori-kun also wished me that. I wonder if later I can get Tenshouin-kun's words as well ... ♪

Mini talk: A word on Birthday (2/3)

Rei: Fumu. ‘What are you and Koga doing’ ... you say?

We have a little bit of time, so I am doing a guitar session with Koga. Perhaps the young lady want to hear it too?

Koga: I just told him to let me rest for a little bit. Sakuma-senpai should also drink some water, right?

Actually...

Rei: Fumu. You had something to talk to me so you were looking for me?

After the birthday party, you want to spend time talking to me? Umu, then I will let the young lady decide our meeting time.

If it is about resting...

Rei: ‘If I can meet you after the party’, do you want to discuss something with me?

Fumu, I don’t have anything in particular so I can hit up with the young lady. Should we decide time and place right away?

Mini talk: A word on Birthday (3/3)

Koga: Alrighty. Then let’s do one more song session ♪ While we are at it, Producer should hear this too.

Rei: Umu. Thank you for playing along with me, Koga ♪

Koga: Well, today is Sakuma-senpai’s birthday anyway. It is not something too big or any~ Though, even I started to want to play more songs.

Then can you play a little bit more?

Rei: Umu, of course. For a short while, please immerse yourself in our music.

Also, should we play something as a surprise for Kaoru-kun’s birthday tomorrow? Let’s amaze Kaoru-kun ♪

Do a surprise.

Rei: Hoho... Then how about performing something for Kaoru-kun’s tomorrow birthday?

Koga: Hmm, ain’t that some good idea~ Alright, I will help you out ♪

Location: Break Room

On the Birthday’s night (1/6)

(Oh my, I have arrived earlier than expected. The young lady also hasn’t arrived yet...)

(For tomorrow, I should practice a little bit. I already borrowed the space from the office anyway.)

♪~♪~♪

... (Silently clapping your hands)

Umu ♪ Thank you for listening, young lady.

How was my performance? I want to hear your thoughts on it.

On the Birthday’s night (2/6)

Fumu, you apologize for making me wait? What are you saying, I just came earlier than our promised time.

Tomorrow’s surprise for Kaoru’s birthday, me and Koga will be the one who will perform it. Just having enough time to practice for that.

Today’s party was very enjoyable, but I’m also looking forward to tomorrow too ♪

A lot of people had come.

That’s right. I’m so glad that a lot of people came and handed me their presents.

Even Ritsu came. I am overjoyed, he even gave me a happy birthday hug too ♪

On the Birthday’s night (3/6)

Today is also Sena-kun’s birthday. It must be hard for you to prepare for two people’s party. 

Today is about to end. Young lady should take a good rest.

It’s good to try your hardest, but sometimes you should let your heart and body rest. If you aren’t careful enough, you might end up becoming an old man right away ♪

Um…

Oh my, it’s just meant to be a joke, have I perhaps confused you?

Anyhow, I mean my best when I said you should rest whenever you can rest. Let’s see, how about letting me treat you something from the vending machine ♪

On the Birthday’s night (4/6)

Fumu. When you say you have something you want to do with me, it is to give me my present you say?

Then while we are here, do you mind if I open it right here?

Hohou, what a beautiful brooch. The light of it is sparkling, like the stars have been entrapped inside itself… ♪

If you are happy with it, I am overjoyed.

Umu, I love it ♪ I can see the thoughts you put in while preparing this present of mine, about your feelings toward me.

I want to return something for the young lady right away, but what to return?

On the Birthday’s night (5/6)

Ah right, I will now play a song specially for the young lady right here.

Whatever song you like, you can request any. “UNDEAD”’s song is fine, or any trending song on the ranking is fine.

Now, young lady, what do you want to hear?

If you say so…

Fufu, you chose an “UNDEAD”’s song. I am very happy… ♪

Then, only for you, this concert is about to raise its curtain. Please listen…

On the Birthday’s night (6/6)

 ♪~♪~♪

… Umu. And the end. Thank you for your listening, Young lady.

And look at the time, let’s call it a night. When you go home, please take a good rest.

My pleasure to work with you tomorrow too

Umu. Of course. Tomorrow is Kaoru-kun’s birthday after all.

Koga and Adonis-kun, and a lot of people will come too, we will celebrate with Kaoru-kun ♪

Phone call

Rei: Hello, Young Lady, Have you gone to bed yet? I want to say thank you for celebrating my birthday today. Fufu, I am also very honored to receive a present from you. I will cherish it for sure... ♪

Office

Screenshots by neneansta.

Aira: I present to you, a piece of the treasure I own!

Rei: Isn’t this Ritsu’s merch? My gratitude.

[toriaurorawriter15]

Kidnap, My Heart Chapter 3: The Crime

When Penelope Marie Featherington asked her journalist peers about knowing someone who could kidnap her as a joke, she did not realize that someone would actually take her question seriously.

It turns out that when you have spent all your life being a victim of verbal abuse, someone would find a way to save you from your predicament, and that stupid person did what she asked for. To be brought out of the hellhole of her mother's London home, kidnap her to somewhere unknown, and allow her to start all over from scratch.

'Gah, I should think before I ask anything." Penelope states out loud as she tries to make sense of yesterday's events.

Last night, she attended the university's end-of-semester on campus. She drank too much because today, Penelope woke up with a massive headache and decided to live rent-free in her brain.

"I got myself kidnap?'" She thinks to herself with amusement, 'Thank you, Universe! '

Rather than being thrilled to be in an unknown place, the ivory-skinned college student should be looking for a way out of this hotel bedroom, but at last, she cannot deny the exploration side of her mind.

'Where the heck am I?" Penelope wonders as she adjusts her tangled red curls and gets comfortable on the foam bed.

Penelope's pool-blue eyes adjust the black spots in her vision by blinking before analyzing the spinning room. She takes this time to search for clues about where she is staying until she spots a nice view.

"This room is massive," Penelope states in awe as the luxurious hotel room presents itself through the light shining through several twenty-by-eight open windows.

Besides the big windows, the three white walls of the room have two abstract art pieces on each side.

Meanwhile, the comfy bed she is sitting on has several piles of pillows leaning on some tackey bed header, and there is one small cabinet with a drawer and two lamps.

Penelope's blue eyes go back outside, and she realizes that the person who kidnapped her must be rich, for there was no way they could have taken her out of London through public transportation, and she definitely can not afford this view.

'I wonder who this person is that kidnap me.' Penelope whispers out loud while her mind recalls more of last night's events.

Penelope ran into her sister's ex, Levi Thomas. She was wearing a revealing pastel pink dress that her college roommate Emma Swan recommended her to wear. He mentioned something about a friend coming out to celebrate graduating with honors in engineering.

The rest of the night was a blur as she started to receive serval cups of drinks for a 'Never have I ever.' chugging game from various people at the party.

Therefore, anyone from that party could be a suspect.

Penelope begins to fear about not knowing the person behind her kidnapping.

Yet another part of her, a dark side of her mind, can't help but feel excitement at the thought of being kidnapped.

Some dimwit therapists told her last year that the reason why she is attracted to dark shit is the cause of her childhood trauma.

Still, the creative part of her mind could not wait to see what happens next.

Perhaps she can write out her experience as her next published story.

There are a bunch of people like her who love mystery stories such as crime and kidnapping. But then again, Penelope could feel goosebumps glowing on her ivory skin at the thought of a dangerous man being behind her kidnap.

Having the idea of a stranger on the run from committing a previous murder, picking her up at the school campus, and being his next victim should frighten her.

Nevertheless, the curly redhead knows no one from home would come looking for her.

It is a bit depressing, and yet another part of her mind believes she may know the person who kidnaps her.

The first clue she gains today is the outfit that her kidnap had her change into before leaving campus.

She changed into a size double-large T-shirt, a pair of jean shorts in her size ( which she will not reveal the number to you), and a pair of sandals which look familiar to the ones in her campa door room.

Pen then remembers someone saying, "The dress you are wearing tonight is gorgeous on you, Penelope! Though, I bet it is uncomfortable. Here, change into this and go back to sleep."

"Where are we going?" She remembers asking the person in a drowy voice.

The person never gave her an answer as she peacefully fell asleep in a pair of muscular arms.

Knowing her kidnapper could be someone close to her brought warmth to the Romanic side of Pen's heart.

'Perhaps they are her knight in shiny armor. Recusing her from her tasteless tactics of her mama.' She thinks out loud before brushing that ridiculous idea from her mind.

The twenty-eight-year-old should not be thinking like this.

Faries tale lives in Once Upon A Time in Storybrook, not real life.

Still, Penelope Featherington is hoping her final theory is correct.

Previous Chapter

[fieldsofview]

Spider-Man: Homesickness UPDATE

The following text is copied from my AO3

Hey, y'all. This is going to be a long and rambling life update for a moment. TLDR: The epilogue won't be posted until mid/late August, but it is coming. Keep reading if you're so interested in the *why*, otherwise, I'll see you then.

I know that, until now, I've been very consistent in keeping updates on time. And I know it's likely frustrating for you all to have to wait for the epilogue, and for that I apologize. It's coming, I promise. I just want to make sure I do it justice and do my best, and my life has not allowed for that right now. My personal life has been kind of a wreck these last few weeks. To start, I had a long stretch of time where I was covering extra shifts for my coworker who was in the hospital, which meant a lot of doubles (My usual 4PM-midnight followed by the midnight-8AM shift, with only a few hours after to go home and sleep before doing it all over again.) This is when I was drafting the previous chapter, and I did do my best to keep working on all of this but I was drastically limited in the time I had. During and following all of this, my cat, Aya, got very sick very fast. Within about 2 weeks, she went from being a perfectly healthy 5-year-old cat at her yearly physical exam, to having such extreme symptoms from a mystery illness that she was interned in a specialty Vet clinic's ICU for several days, needing a feeding tube, intravenous medication, and 24-hour care. Ultimately, despite the thousands of dollars I spent, four different veterinarians, and countless tests, no one could figure out what was wrong with her. She has since passed and her ashes should hopefully return to me within the week. Because of the timing of it all, just a few days later I left for a trip out of state to visit my elderly grandparents for their 85th birthday celebration with my extended family (There are nearly 40 of us) that I could not reschedule or miss, and I've been there for the last week. It's a 18-hour journey each way and I've spent most of the trip assisting my father with care of my younger brother or assisting my cousin with her three kids under 5. I've had no time for writing whatsoever. I've barely had time to breathe, let alone grieve the loss of my cat who I have had since she was a tiny kitten and who passed so suddenly and so violently that it has stuck with me in a way that previous pet deaths have never done. Her sister and her were so closely bonded and it's been heartbreaking to see her so confused as to why Aya has never come home. And now I've had to leave her with my roommates while I'm gone and she's been acting skittish and scared around them in a way she never has before. I only hope when I return in a few days she'll forgive me. I haven't started writing the epilogue yet. As many of you pointed out in the comments here and on my Tumblr (that I truly haven't had the capacity to respond to), the last chapter did not quite feel right or sit in the way you wanted. I stand by the events of the chapter, but because it was basically my rough draft with almost no editing, it's lacking the subtlety and nuance it deserves, and it's missing some details it should have had. I love this fic with all my heart and I want it to be a project I can finish and leave in a way that I am proud of. So, I will be spending the next few weeks taking the time I need for myself, and then I will be spending the time to make any edits to the entire story that I feel are necessary for it to be its best. Once that's done, I'll publish the epilogue. A version that is final and that I can be proud of, whether or not anyone else likes it. Because I know the last chapter was not my best work, it's been hard to sit with those comments and accept them, despite knowing the circumstances surrounding them. Thank you to everyone who has supported me through this project, and thank you for your patience as I make sure this is the best it can be. My hope is that I can post the epilogue in about one month, as I approach the year mark from when I first started drafting this fic, but I will take it day by day to ensure it's the best it will be. I will delete this "chapter" once the epilogue is posted. 

[rosethornewrites]

A long time ago (2008) I lived in California while getting my MFA, and of course Prop 8 happened. It was ugly.

For those who don't know. Prop 8 was put on the California ballot after same-sex marriage was legalized, to illegalize it again. It was worded weirdly and up to the election and after was a really ugly time, and when it passed it was like a pall was cast over the queer population. Everyone was cheering Obama's win, but Prop 8 had passed, too, and that made it hard to celebrate.

Ultimately the CA Supreme Court struck it down because it created two classes of queer people: those who were able to marry in the time it was legal, and those who could not marry, which was unconstitutional.

At the time I was regularly attending a church service for the queer population, which I'd become aware of at Pride that year, and post-election it was just us grieving and coming together to support each other. We spent the entire election season huddling together for fear it would pass, and engaging in activism and protest.

A married lesbian couple I knew woke up (pre-election) to find that their lawn was covered in Yes on 8 signs, and they tore them down and set the pile on fire in the center of their driveway (the signs were plastic but they were too upset to care; their kids woke up to see the sea of hate on their own lawn). One of their neighbors had done it, and another neighbor let them know who it was.

There were regularly picketing Yes on 8 protestors (including kids) at nearly every corner, encouraged by the LDS to do so, all weekend long, like a constant caravan of hate.

I visited a friend/classmate who was Mormon (but not a bigot) and her roommate came home and started ranting about a car that had a sign that Yes on 8 was bigotry. It was my car and I said so, and she turned beet red and retreated to her room. She didn't have the courage to keep talking shit TO me.

The Catholic church removed a popular priest from the church just off campus because he said Prop 8 did not jive with the universal love of Christ. He became a symbol of the movement against Prop 8.

I hand-made a sign for a protest against Prop 8 he headed after it passed that read "Marriage is about love, not genitalia" and I made it into the local paper (with my back turned).

On my way to said protest, I was wearing a pride flag shirt that asked "When can I vote on YOUR marriage?" and I stopped at a Starbucks for caffeine. A large man decided to stand super close and growl "Never" in an attempt to intimidate me, then left in fury when I laughed at him. He was not the first person to try to intimidate me, nor was he the last.

Sometimes I wonder if young queer folks know just how bad it was a mere 15 years ago, and if they understand how terrifying it is to hear the rhetoric by bigots who intend to strip our rights or worse.

I don't know why I'm remembering this just now. Maybe because Trump won Iowa and we all know his plans.

[practicingbushiho]

Doma Art Party 2023 Afterword

So, I think maybe it might be corny for me to do something like a thank you or an open letter or an afterword so to speak for an art party. And normally, I think I'd have not bothered. But considering this was my first ever attempt at hosting one, and that it was for a deeply important experience in my life...I believe it to be warranted here.

I am happy to say that the art party was to my eyes, a wonderful success. It was nice to experiment with the idea of having a more activity-oriented art party, and I have a good idea of what to do next time to improve on the formula without feeling overwhelming; after all, art parties are ultimately for vibing and hanging out; and boy were we.

And yes, many kisses were had, and the goodbyes were bittersweet; but not sad. And thus, I will give thanks. More below.

Thank you to everyone that helped me celebrate something very important to me. This last year has been a whirlwind for me, in mostly rather wonderful ways. I finally managed to finally let go of some of the things that were haunting me, I was more easily able to reconcile with, accept, and grow from my past. I picked up the pieces of a lot of parts of my life I didn't feel I had agency in, and it was all because of what I felt playing through Hien Rijin's story arc in FFXIV Stormblood. It was great fun to organize, and It was really nice to be able to celebrate that in some way with all of you-- some of which I'd never even met beforehand. I am just. So floored that people wanted to hang out and chat; thank you for handling my tech clumsiness and multi-tasking fails with such grace.

Thank you to everyone that WANTED to be there but couldn't for some reason or another. Thank you to my friend Bri (twt @tenchijins) who helped me craft prizes and coordinate during parts of the event (the shout chats were SO helpful)-- and for being a wonderful rp partner. You are so fucking smart and cool and you love birds so basically you're an angel. Thank you for everything the last couple months. You helped me better understand a part of my identity that I feared facing for so long, and because of it I am happier than I'd ever been about it all.

Thank you to @findenyan and @itsmeowlee for being so active in twitch chat and bein' cute an' funny catboys it was nice to see. Thank you also to @windup-dragoon for hanging out with us on day one (all the kisses to u my friend), Kiri is always a treasure to witness, and @dareva for being so insanely supportive of both my XIV works AND my original comic progress. I hope you are around for years to come.

Thank you to my roommate Cobalt who is the only reason I could even do this, because he was the one that helped me afford to renew my sub, which I didn't realize expired that day before the event. Oh, and also because he has literally been the sole reason i've been able to afford to survive the last couple of years. Hope to be free of it soon, brother! hahaha~

Thank you to @mythiclings for always showing me love, you were one of the biggest reasons I got the courage to start posting my Hien fanworks. And I am so glad that I did.

(Speaking of that, we did this cute little doodle together a little while back that I now have permission to post :'3 Look at these silly guys!!)

Ahem. And then thank you to my roommate aka ShandeeDay. If it weren't for you, i'd have never been able to play FFXIV from the first-- not even to consider all the times you've saved me from the street in my 20s. I love you, man. You saved my life. I would take a bullet for you.

Finally, to all of the people both old and new who have shared my work, shared their work with me, made things with me and just in general showed their support in my presence-- I thank you. Also some of you write some hilariously cute shit in tags. I adore you.

Sorry this was so long. But it was definitely worth writing. I plan to do another next year around the Lunar New Year in March 2024, provided I have no cons to attend. I HOPE TO SEE YOU AGAIN!! 0/

Love and Peace, and to tomorrow. - Shane (and the four other idiots piloting his brain)