#but namine’s the first character in the series that made me sit down and just. rotate her in my brain.

[kayzero]

“Need another reason why Marluxia fits in perfectly [in Kingdom of Corona]? How about the fact that he kept Naminé locked away in a single room in order to abuse her powers, the same exact way Mother Gothel did to Rapunzel?

And now the sort of protection that Marluxia suggests for Rapunzel aligns exactly with Mother Gothel’s goals.”

—“Kingdom Hearts 3 Is Great and I Will Die On That Hill” (https://youtu.be/pytjUj-ciJw)

[komoryriku]

Queering KH: Part 2

How to Queer this Anime Game? By me, an American nerd lol

Pictured: Dream. Drop. Distance. Sequel. 8)))

What is Queering 

I’m so excited to talk about this okay this is literally the only fun thing I get to do as an English major anymore lmao.

“Queering a text” is the academic term for taking a given text and extracting the queer subtext of it, or applying a queer reading to it. It is taking a piece of literature, film, or art and reading into it for the gay coding. It is an especially important tool for reading old literature written during periods of extreme homosexual oppression, wherein the author would be forced to hide hints of homosexuality under layers and layers of superficial text.

Pictured: Sora and Riku battling Ursula as she means to wreck their ship, mirroring the disaster that Sora’s friends Eric and Ariel (lovers) faced at sea.

As a post-structuralist, I am also here to inform you that every text is made up of intertextual influence. This means whether the JK Rowlings of the world intended it or not, their characters may well be queer coded because of the unconscious influence of homoerotic customs in our culture that have permeated the text. It’s why people speculated that Newt Scamander was gay, because he showed little interest in Tina and preferred to focus on his beasts, which is not normative for a male protagonist in straight media. People likewise considered that Merida from Pixar’s Brave might be gay, because she had no interest in dating men and wanted to live a wild lifestyle traditionally associated with masuculinity, things that are pretty in line with lesbian coding. And let me tell you, lgbt claimed Queen Elsa IMMEDIATELY for very good reason. Pretty much everything about her journey, purposefully or not, makes for an strikingly overt gay metaphor. Let it Go is a coming out song for a woman suffocating under normativity all her life, deal with it.

Same, Elsa.

Oh whoops I accidentally pasted this picture of Riku here.

Keep Cultural Distinctions in Mind

Something else important I want to point out is that different cultures are- different lol. They are going to vary. What is queer coding here is not necessarily queer coding in Japan. A man presenting femininely in American media would certainly get him coded as gay. A bishonen in an anime though? Not so much. Men bathing together in Japan is common practice so that would mean nothing gay over there. In America however, you have things like this vine. 

In which 2 dudes are chilling as far away as possible from each other in a hot tub to prove they are not gay lol.

So when I say the male members of Organization XIII bathe together, it means literally nothing in a Japanese context.  

But let me tell you this: homosexual mlm tend to enjoy bathing with other dudes. Sexual attraction is sexual attraction no matter where you go. So how would you queer code a Japanese character as gay in a hot tub context? 

By American logic, if the straight thing to do is sit 5 feet apart in a hot tub, then the inverse, the gay thing to do, would be 2 men sitting very close together in a hot tub. So if I were to code 2 American male characters as gay in a hot tub context, that is what I would do. But if I really wanted to hammer it home, I would ALSO have them blushing so there is no straight explanation for their closeness. 

And for a Japanese character, for whom bathing with men might well mean nothing, I’d definitely have them physically blush, so that you know it does NOT just “mean nothing” to him...

Oh look at that. Amano went out of her way to draw Roxas blushing at the concept of bathing with men. So when I say “the members of Orginization XIII bathe together”, you know that means something to Roxas, cuz the coding tells us so. There are indeed certain ways you can depict a shonen being either interested in or at least affected by that idea. You just have to mind those codes telling you what the character really feels, especially when they can’t really say it.

Speaking of blushes, Amano uses them a lot. 

They’re a pretty effective tool for hiding gay coding into your characters cuz an anime character might blush for any number of reasons, from being flustered by their crush, 

to being flustered because they don’t have a crush.

If you’ve ever translated Japanese media, (I haven’t, but I have friends who do), you know that Japanese is very vague which means you need the whole context to properly understand a scene. It’s a similar situation with queer coding. Consider this scene of Roxas blushing. 

If Roxas felt positively about the insinuation that he and Xion are holding hands, how might one code this? Well, if he’s feeling really excited about it in a positive way, you might draw him smiling or expressing flattery on his blushing face. However, Roxas reacts negatively, with a frown on his blushing face. This insinuates he does not like this idea at all, especially since he also shuts it down right away in his dialogue.

But you might say “Well how do we know he isn’t just shy?” to which I say- well we can’t know. That’s the whole point of queer coding in literature. It is to say a character is queer but without actually saying it, to give plausible deniability for safety. It is to suggest a character is queer but without any confirmation. It does not mean that the character isn’t queer, however. It just means it cannot be confirmed by the text alone. However, a bold text that is very determined to have hidden queer characters without any straight explanations, will provide coding that has very little or no straight explanation. 

Back to the Roxas and Xion dialogue^. This scene alone cannot confirm or deny anything. As I explained however, the suggestion that Roxas is not straight IS there. Considering the whole context, also, this scene is another piece of “evidence” to add to the pile of suggestions that Roxas isn’t straight. This coupled with the bathing panel, and this panel of him admiring Axel, his male mentor, with deep flattery during his first day of adventuring, all exist.

Roxas does not express negative sentiments in his blushing at men, nor does he say anything dismissive to them. When he blushes at Xion’s comment, however, it is with a negative reaction. Consider also that if the author wanted Roxas to appear straight, she would present them in ways that allude to straightness and NOT in ways that allude to queerness. Roxas would not do suggestively queer things like blush in flattery at Axel calling him special and then dismiss Xion’s suggestion that they are holding hands if he were simply coded as straight. Queering a text sometimes requires a lot of critical thought like this. This is because again, these things are hidden, and sometimes hidden really well so that unsuspecting straight people will not even consider the queer suggestions. This is one of the advantages Nomura has in his favor with Kingdom Hearts: by making it so convoluted, the gay text can be forward, strong, and blatant but remain undetected by straight powers. This keeps the series safe from oppressive scrutiny. Characters like Namine and Xion can exist as literal illustrations of compulsory-heterosexuality. And people will still think Sora and Riku are straight. 

Even if I don’t know all the queer codes Japanese culture might specifically have, (and I do not, I do not live in Japan nor have any semblance of what that is like beyond what my friends who have lived there can tell me, and what I can research while sitting in my pajamas in Kentucky lol), there are certain things that are rather universal. Blushing, physical contact, lingering gazes, etc etc. Attraction is attraction and certain body language and other physical symbols will translate and will travel. So that’s the majority of what I will have to focus on. 

But I do want you to know that rainbows are still gay in Japan. 

Finally I also want to express that cultural intermingling is a thing. We do not live in bubbles, especially with the internet. Our cultures affect each other ALL the time. Although Kingdom Hearts is primarily a Japanese series, it is consciously tailored to appeal to both America and Japan. This is by design given the idea was to marry a Japanese hit like Final Fantasy with an American phenomenon like Disney’s media. This is why they take special care in minding the English translations and dubbing of the KH games (when they are able to do so, mistakes are still very often made and i hate it cuz they’re usually heterosexual-agenda-pushing “mistakes” =~=). The games are so intimately tied to both the Japanese and American cultures they are derived from which is part of why accurate translations are so important. And given what they would mean for queer audiences, what they represent for queer people makes accurate translations even MORE important. Some things get quite lost in translation, and some things are grossly added in translation. We will discuss that down the line...   

A brief aside that I implore you to ignore:

On the subject of Roxas not being straight, I have heard of one really fun queer motif in Japanese media which is ”ryoutoutsukai (両刀使い)”, “the two sword fencer”: the dual wielding bisexual. Now- I do not necessarily think this is a means of coding Roxas as bisexual, and beyond that, from what I’ve heard in my research on bisexuality in Japan, certain age groups don’t even believe in bisexuality there. However, a love of more than one gender exists no matter who is willing to acknowledge it or not, and this motif is there. And Promisekeeper and Oblivion do rather fit the bill of representing homosexuality (Oblivion/Soriku) and heteronormativity (Promisekeeper/Sora and his childhood friend Kairi). So- while i don’t think it means anything, this fun idea is there~  I will say, however, that as far as I can tell, Nomura and his staff know exactly what they’re doing with their queer coding and are well connected to it in both cultures. So I mean- if any anime team would know bisexuality exists and how to code it, I firmly believe the KH team would, so. There is some food for thought for you~

Get ready for part 3, I hope you like TWEWY~ B)

[miss-tc-nova]

Dense as a Brick Wall - Terra x Fem!Reader

First off YEEEESSSSSSS! I NEED MORE DARK ROAD ASAP! Second, Terra is actually one of my favorite characters of the series so I was excited for this request! I admit I struggled a bit but I hope you like it and I’m sorry it took me so long. 

~~~~~

               I can officially say today has started off wild, but I mean my version of wild—these keyblade wielders apparently find travelling to different worlds pretty normal. First thing in the morning, the trio of Aqua, Ven, and Terra all show up on my doorstep and insist I hang out with them for the day. When I finally relent, that’s when they break the news that we’re going off-world.

               So one insane trip later, we end up in this bright, sunshine world of Destiny Islands. It’s gorgeous with its tropical atmosphere and sparkling beach and it’s a shame I didn’t bring my bathing suit. The trio then takes me to the larger island where I meet way more people than I was prepared for. They all seem friendly enough and accept me pretty quickly; also we’re apparently not the only group to travel from another world.

               That’s when the inhabitants—Riku, Sora, Kairi, and Namine—announce an activity they’d come up with for the visitors: a photo scavenger hunt. The groups pair up quickly, leaving the four of us from the Land of Departure.

               “So how do you guys wanna split up?” Terra asks.

               “Oh, I know,” Aqua hums, wandering towards Namine. Once she returns, she presents four pieces of paper in her grasp. “Whoever draws the two with colored ends are partners. You first,” she says, offering the handful to me.

               Tugging on a strip, I find it colored red on the bottom. “Oh. Cool.”

               She turns to the man beside me. “Alright. Terra.”

               He picks a strip and my insides run with ice; they expect me to go on a scavenger hunt, alone, with the only person I’ve ever fallen so hard for.

               I don’t even know where to begin with Terra. He’s the biggest sweetheart and I’d have to be wearing fire-retardant pants if I said I never admired those muscles. I know he gets a lot of flak, but the guy can actually be pretty smart when it comes to strategy and situational awareness, though his social skills could use a little work. So, while I can say this about his physical build, it also unfortunately applies to his empathic understanding: he’s as dense as a brick wall.

               I’ve done everything just short of saying, “hey, you know what? I have an enormous crush on you.” Well, that and kiss him. I once even held his hand when we were wandering through town, but I think he mistook it for me trying not to get lost in the crowds. For the love of all that is good in existence, I cannot get him to take a hint! That and my dumb ass is too nervous to straight up confess.

               “Hey, are you okay with that?”

               Snapping back to the present, I look up at those beautiful blue eyes. Blood rushes into my ears, but I smile anyway. “Yeah. This’ll be a piece of cake.”

               He smiles back and I feel my self-awareness melt just a little, until I realize I might get lost staring if I don’t look away.

               We’re given a list of things to photograph and a deadline to meet back up on the small island and the teams start to go their separate ways. Only a few steps into our adventure, I look back at Aqua and Ven and my heart stops. A smirk sits upon her lips and pinched between her fingers are the remaining two strips of paper: they were all colored on the end. My brain begins screaming bloody murder.

               “Woah, hey!” A large hand beneath my arm pulls me to the side just in time to miss walking into one of those mail collection boxes. Face burning, I glance up at my concerned sort-of-hero. “Are you sure you’re okay? If you’re not feeling well, we can go home.”

               For the love of the gods, I cannot tell him what Aqua did, but she’s absolutely going to get it later—regardless of whether or not she can destroy me in a heartbeat. “No no! I’m fine. I just got distracted.”

               Dark brows furrow, still concerned. “Would rather be partners with someone else?”

               “NO!” Okay, I probably didn’t need to respond quite that quickly…or yell. A laugh escapes me in an attempt to regain my composure. “No, it’s okay. I promise. This is going to be fun.”

               A big grin crosses his lips and we set off, ignoring the fact this is a set up—or maybe not; who knows.

               There are two lists on the paper Kairi had given me: one of object and one of activities. Things such as the beach, something red, and a statue are on the list of objects, but on the other are things such as walking barefoot in the sand, going down the slide in the park, and shaking a stranger’s hand. The thing about the second list is that there has to be photo evidence of each person to get the points. Trailing through the sand and asking a random guy to shake hands with each of us is easy enough and we’ve been having a lot of fun, but poor Terra kind of got stuck in the slide and we lost a couple hours—but I got the evidence at least.

               “You sure you’re okay?” I ask for like the tenth time, stupidly fluttering eyelashes at him.

               My partner laughs sheepishly. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He’s such a good sport but oblivious as always. “I’m just relieved we didn’t break it.”

               “Yeah…I was kinda worried we were gonna have to call the fire department or something—or worse, our friends.”

               “I really don’t need another story Aqua’s not gonna let me live down,” he sighs. “What else is on the list?”

               Pulling the paper from my pocket, I scan over what’s not marked. “Well, there’s not much more we can do before time’s up…so I guess we head back and hope we see a dog, a sign that starts with the letter V, and a rubber duck—where the hell did they think we were gonna see a rubber duck?”

               “Does that count?��� Out points his finger to the ocean where a giant, inflatable duck peacefully floats along.

               “I don’t think it’s made of rubber, but I’m gonna say yes,” I say, using Terra’s GummiPhone to snap a picture of the ridiculous sight.

               So off we go towards the smaller island on one of the rental row boats. For a while, we chat and amble about the beach—and I drop more ridiculous hints—until Terra asks, “Hey, wasn’t there something on the list about food?”

               “Um. Try a food neither of us has eaten.”

               “I don’t know about you, but I have no idea what that is.” From a crooked tree hangs a bright, yellow fruit.

               I laugh, following him towards the stairs leading up to the islet. “You wanna just start eating random fruit?”

               “Why not?”

               The young man scales along the curved tree until he successfully gets his hand on the star-shaped fruit and returns to sit next to me on the tree. The fruit is broken into two and I get a piece. It’s sweet, almost like a candy and super watery.

               “I may be regretting my choice,” Terra murmurs around a mouthful.

               “What? This is amazing.” I almost drool in my protest.

               “Too sweet.”

               “Ah, I forget you don’t like sweets.”

               Eyeing up his questionable prize, he ventures another bite.

               “You two are here ear—” Looking back reveals the Islanders. Both girls gasp and the guys just gape.

               “Hey guys,” I greet. “What’s up?” I take another bite.

               Riku is the first to break. “You two have no idea what that is, do you?” A glance is shared with no answer. “That’s a paopu.”

               When the only response is staring, Kairi hastily explains, “If two people share one, their destinies become intertwined!”

               “So says the legend,” adds Namine.

               Terra’s mouthful comes flying back out while I opt to choke on mine. While I’m busy hacking away, the rest of our friends arrive.

               “What’s going on here?” Aqua asks as Sora is patting my back.

               “According to these two, trying new foods means sharing destinies,” Riku explains, gesturing to the dropped leftovers.

               Ven is very poorly containing his laugh. “You guys ate a paopu fruit?”

               “We didn’t know what it was,” Terra retorts. It makes me feel somewhat better that his face is probably just as red as mine.

               “I told you about those,” Aqua retorts. “Remember? I based our wayfinders off them.”

               I eventually breathe fine again and everyone hangs out to share their pictures and just hang out. Xion and Roxas got the most points and win the game while Terra and I get the most teasing for the paopu and the slide. Still, the symbolic meaning of the fruit plagues my thoughts—it’s a nice thought to have Terra as part of my destiny. I’d probably squeal if it weren’t for my new friends sitting around. In my revelations, I can’t help beaming down at the pictures of my partner.

               It’s just as we’re all getting ready to head home that Aqua sighs, “It’s a shame that, even after I went through all the trouble to make sure they were partners and neither of them confessed they liked each other.”

               A second passes, and then another, but finally, Terra’s eyes widen as he realizes what I’ve known from the beginning. “You rigged the teams?!”

               Ven snarks, “She wasn’t exactly subtle.”

               My brain carefully scrutinizes the frantic behavior of the young man. “Wh—Bu—How—Why would you do that?!”

               “Didn’t you hear me? So you could tell her how you feel,” she states bluntly.

               Arms flail and, had anyone been within close proximity, who knows what kind of damage he’d deal. “How could you do that?! I’ve been dying all day trying to figure out how to tell her!”

               The analyzing brain blips. Wait…

               “It wasn’t really that much of a secret,” his blonde friend mutters, the flustered not hearing him.

               “All so you could get a few laughs picking on me?! And I still don’t even know how to tell her how much I like her!”

               A jolt ripples through me and my jaw falls open.

               “First of all,” Aqua starts. “I didn’t do it to pick on you. Second, it was Ven’s idea.”

               The accused adds, “He’s been driving me nuts over it.”

               “And third, I’m pretty sure you just confessed.” A finger points to me.

               His olive skin goes visibly pale, outrage dropping to instant horror. Those shocked eyes lock onto me; clearly he’d forgotten in his outburst that I was even here to begin with.

               With a strange sense of outward confidence, I close the gap between us. My heart is beating deafeningly in my ears as I approach but he doesn’t move even a little, watching me in stunned silence. Fists take hold of his shirt, pulling him down to my level as I stand on tiptoe.

               Raging in my gut are the butterflies that have been teasing me all day. I may be on fire right now, but there’s an ocean just over there—it’s fine. And sure, my partner is in a stupor but that doesn’t make my elation any less real. There are no words for how much I needed this.

               Leaning back, there’s a lingering taste of that paopu we’d split earlier. I can’t help the resulting smile though Terra looks absolutely bewildered.

               “I’ve been dying to do that for months,” I tell him.

               “Perhaps my efforts weren’t in vain after all,” giggles Aqua. She gets a raspberry from me.  

               Terra, with an incredibly ludicrous question, grabs my attention again. “Did you just kiss me?”

               My eyes widen before I start laughing. “You really are as dense as a brick wall.”

               The shock leaves his face, replaced with a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

               “She’s been flirting with you hardcore for as long as I can remember,” Ven tells him. “Everyone but you picked up on that.”

               “R-Really?” This time, he goes a little red.

               Slipping a hand into his, I reply, “Really.”

               The free hand meets his face. “Ugh, geeze I’m so dumb.”

               “That’s okay. You’re still cute.”

               “You’re not supposed to agree with me, you know.”

               “Whatever you say, sweetheart.”

               Then Aqua gets in another jab. “I think that’s a little unfair, Ven. It’s not like she picked up on his flirting either.”

               “Wait, what?!” Eye shoot up to Terra who gives me a smile that I’d die for.

               “Guess it’s not just me, huh.”

[paybackraid]

What You Need To Hear

Summary: Namine cannot, and will not, let her best friends go without knowing they are loved.

Words: 9569

Characters: Namine, Vanitas, Riku Replica

Just a cute not-little Lost Trio fluff fic I wrote because I imagined Namine telling the boys that she loves them! :’) and then it went to town. Complete, possibly part of a series!

Also available under my FFN or AO3 profiles, under YAJJ.

------

“Thanks for doing this for me, Sora,” Naminé said, leaning forward to show her friend her brightest smile. Sora was piloting her around the worlds, had kindly offered to do so when she said that she had some otherworldly errands she wanted to run. They weren’t really important, but she missed her new best friends so much. They didn’t live on the same world, like the rest of their friends seemed to gather. One was off “finding himself”, and the other was making a home for himself and the creatures who followed him. Neither of them were exactly people-people, so their seclusion did make sense. As long as they were happy, Naminé was happy. “You’re the best. I love you.”

Sora laughed his wonderful Sora laugh, all big and warm. He swerved out of the way of an asteroid, and flashed her his huge Sora smile. “Don’t even mention it! I’m happy to spend time with you. I don’t see you nearly enough.”

“I’ve been meaning to make it out to Destiny Islands, but between school, and the restoration, there hasn’t been time.”

She felt a little guilty, but only a little, that she was making time for the two strange boys attached to her heart and not the one that saved her. Sora always understood. And she would make it out to Destiny Islands! Just, not yet. 

Sora gave her another grin, glancing over his shoulder. “I know! My mom’s making me do tutoring to catch back up which, ugh. And now that Riku and I are both Masters, we have to stay in tip-top shape. I’ve hardly had the time to call Ven, Roxas, or Xion, nevermind everyone else.”

“Well, let me know when tutoring is done, and I promise I’ll find the time to come out, okay?” And Naminé always kept her promises. 

“We’ll make a day out of it!” Sora agreed happily. “Maybe even a whole weekend!”

“Sounds great!”

Naminé loved Sora so much, she really did. She made attempts at calling her best friends everyday, but they weren’t always available, and they didn’t always have the right social energy to talk, and she understood that. Even when they did, the two of them were sourpusses at heart. So sometimes, talking to Sora and his cheerfulness and readiness was a nice change of pace. 

“So, where to? I know you said you were looking for Vanitas and Riku’s… uh, his replica, but you didn’t say where.”

“It’s Van and Ri,” Naminé corrected softly, smile never leaving her face. Van and Ri—two of the only people she knew of who were as lost as she. And in that loss, they’d found one another.

“Er, right. Van and Ri.” Sora was still a little weird around her two boys. One had tried to kill him and certainly had made attempts at the one locked away in his heart for so long, another looked exactly like his best friend when he was young, and shared memories with Sora of a thing that he couldn’t for the life of him remember. He was trying, but they were all still weird with each other. 

“Van lives in Halloweentown, now, remember? So he can let his Unversed run free without being called freaks. He works at maintaining the graveyard there, I guess. Last I heard, Jack Skellington was very impressed.”

“That’s cool, I guess.”

“It’s honest work,” Naminé chirped. “And he’s actually really enjoying it there. He walks me through the Hinterlands when I call him. They’re spooky.”

“That, they definitely are. Okay, we’ll go to Halloweentown, then. Maybe I’ll go visit Jack and Sally, too! What about Ri? Is he still… exploring?”

“Yeah. He was in San Fransokyo yesterday, but he sounded like he was on the move, soon. All this is doing him good, too. He’s finding ways to be a separate person from Riku, even as simple as going to worlds Riku’s never been.”

“Aw, Riku’s a cool person to be,” Sora said with a fake pout. He knew of Ri’s circumstances, but would also say many things to come to the defense of his best friend. 

“He is! I always liked Riku, he was so nice. But, Ri just… wants to be different. He’s trying to find a different name that he likes, too, but he hasn’t settled on one.”

“Maybe he should just stick an ‘x’ in Riku’s name and jumble up the letters.”

Naminé snickered, noting the mirth in his eye. “He’s not a Nobody.”

Sora laughed as he steered them toward Halloweentown, the dark and gloomy world already putting a light in her heart. Van may have been the dark half of Ven, once upon a time, but now there was no denying how happy he made her. He was going to be so surprised. 

They landed just outside of the square, and Sora quickly cloaked the ship. Before they could step out, he cast the same cloaking magic that Donald used to cast to protect the world order. Out of the ship stepped a vampire, and a girl with webbed hands and feet, gills on her neck and frills around her head, the hem of her white dress dripping around her like water. 

“Wow, Nam,” Sora said, looking her up and down while Naminé got as good of an eyeful as she could. This was her first time in Halloweentown, after all. “You make drowning look good.”

Naminé giggled and rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Sora. Come on! I don’t know where the graveyard is so you hafta show me, I bet that’s where Van is.”

“O-okay,” Sora said when Naminé squeezed his hand. “How are you even wet?”

“Let’s go!”

Sora led her around, tossing greetings at the townsfolk. All of them were surprisingly friendly, all waving to Sora and Naminé as if they’d known them their whole lives. That, Van had told her once, was the one thing he didn’t like about living here. For such a spooky town, these townsfolk were far too friendly.

Behind one of the decorative guillotines, Naminé got her first clue without even having to acknowledge Sora. Sitting atop a wall, there was a Flood, watching the sky. They, of course, had no order to protect, and Van didn’t often care one way or the other. 

“Flood, Flood!” Naminé cheered. She didn’t bother looking around for its master yet; since coming to live here, the Unversed had become staples of the community, and so were allowed to roam wherever they wanted. 

The Flood looked down to her and stared for a second, working out if it knew her or not. It slowly crept down the wall, clinging to the shadows, sticking its little nose out to get a good sniff.

“Aww, don’t be afraid, little Flood,” Naminé cooed, putting out her hand. Normally, she got along splendidly with the Unversed, but she looked so different, and it probably didn’t help that the water on her washed away easy traces of her scent. “You know me, I promise.”

The Flood crooned noiselessly; even now, Van was the only one who could hear them. It touched its snoot to her fingertips and took a deep sniff. 

And quickly leapt from the wall to her shoulders, knowing her now. It pressed its head to her wet chin and happily rubbed its head all over, just like a cat. Naminé pretended she could hear the crooning, and happily pulled it forward into her arms, to hug it and kiss its head. These were both Van’s pets, and extensions of Van himself. Showing them as much affection as possible was the easiest way to make sure Van felt loved. 

“...Nam? You good?” Sora asked after a moment of fierce affection. He struggled with the Unversed, too. Didn’t get the affection. But he definitely saw Naminé loving on the Unversed, and the Unversed loving on her right back. 

“Yeah!” Naminé pulled her face from the Unversed’s skin, smiling so wide it showed off her fangs. “I’m good. Sora, if you want to go see Jack and Sally, I bet this little guy can take me to Van. Isn’t that right?!?”

The Flood happily crooned at her and turned over in her arms to show her its belly and claws. Naminé took that as agreement. 

Sora didn’t bother to hide the relief on his face when she said as much. He turned away for a second, then glanced back to ask, “you sure you’ll be okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine! I’d trust him with my life. I’ll just text you if there’s any problems, okay?”

Sora sighed, shaking his head affectionately. “Okay, yeah let me know. Say hi to Van for me, okay?”

“Okay! Thanks Sora!!” Naminé chirped. When Sora turned away, Naminé was quick to say “good bye! Have fun!! I love you!!!”

Sora chuckled to himself and waved goodbye. “Okay, bye Naminé. Love you too!”

Naminé waved until Sora was out of sight, and then turned down to her little companion. “Okay, Flood, show me where Van is.”

Somehow, the little emotion understood her perfectly. It righted itself in her arms and took off out of the square, looking over its shoulder occasionally to make sure she followed. It darted up unnecessarily huge steps that she had to jump up, and then through the gates. Even just through the bars of the gate, she could see her target hard at work tending to some of the Jack o’ lanterns that just grew that way. 

The Flood scootched over to its master, but didn’t disturb him, instead watching Naminé as if to see if she saw. Naminé followed it silently. Van didn’t scare easy, but she almost hoped she could startle him. 

“Vani!!”

Van yelped when Naminé threw her arms around his neck and dragged him down. She had no balance to begin with and so fell to the side, and whatever balance Van had in his shaky crouch was lost with her weight. He fell on top of her, narrowly avoiding ramming his shoulder into her clavicle. 

“What the hell?!?” Van snapped, getting an arm beneath him to get a good look at his attacker. His eyes darted all around her, and he seemed to know her, but wasn’t certain enough.

The Flood who had narrowly avoided death crooned up at him happily and hopped up onto his shoulder, nuzzling its face against Van’s. It must have explained what it knew, because he turned down to look at her, a tiny smile on his face.

“Nam?”

“Hi, Vani. Can I hug you?”

“If I say no, will you let me go?”

Naminé pouted but retracted her arms. He was in one of those moods, huh? “Of course I will.”

“Hnnnn,” Van said, baring sharp incisors. “...Yeah, you can.”

Naminé quickly replaced her arms around his neck and squeezed him tighter, so tight he was probably struggling to breathe. She buried her face into the hair on the back of his neck and laughed to herself. Van wasn’t always a great hugger, but he sure was great at receiving them. Or, sitting there and doing nothing while he got them. 

At least sometimes he reacted to them very positively, hugging back when he was in a very good mood or at least pressing in close. At least when he did that, Naminé knew he didn’t entirely hate them. 

“What are you doing here?” Van asked when Naminé climbed off of him, sticking one leg between his so he had no choice but to stay seated with her. 

“I missed you,” Naminé said very simply, shrugging her shoulders. 

“...We are several worlds apart,” Van said very quietly. “That’s insane.”

“I know! But I missed you a lot and I just… wanted to be with you for a bit. Not just talking to you. Touching you.” She grabbed his arm and pushed her claws gently into his skin. She was one of four people he let touch him—the others being Ri, Aqua, and Ventus. She used it to her advantage, but made sure not to overwhelm him too much that he stopped letting her get close. “You’re my favorite.”

Van’s cheeks went a shade of gray, barely detectable in the moonlight, and he looked away from her. She didn’t miss the tiny smile pushing at his mouth. Van had spent far too long not being cared for by anyone, so he was always embarrassed when Naminé, and occasionally Ri, casually said something along those lines. He didn’t respond, but Naminé didn’t expect him to. It was enough when he squeezed his legs together around hers. 

“How long will you be here?” Van asked, leaning back and looking up at the moon. “I could show you the Hinterlands, if you wanted. We could go down to the lake.” He poked at her arm and smeared the water on her a little. “Bet this form would like that.”

“That’d be cool!! Sora never mentioned a lake. But I don’t know how long we’ll be here. I want to catch up with Ri, but he mentioned heading out in a few days so I want to get some time.”

“You’re gonna see Ri, too?” Van said. He turned suddenly excited red eyes on her, perking up like a dog. As much as he wouldn’t say so, he did miss Ri terribly. 

“Yeah!! It’s quiet in Radiant Garden and I missed you both, and Sora I guess had some time and wanted to roam.”

“...He’s here?” Van peered back towards the gates, scowling. He didn’t exactly dislike Sora, but he didn’t really like him, either. After being sealed in Sora’s heart longer than anyone else, Naminé understood his hesitation. They’d gotten along for as long as it took to drop Van off and make sure he could get himself settled nicely, but after that the two lookalikes had to back off.

“Yeah, he wanted me to tell you ‘hi’ for him. He's visiting with Jack and Sally now, though. You're in the clear.”

Van didn’t bother to hide silent relief. He lifted a hand to scratch at the Flood on his shoulder, who crooned again and affectionately nuzzled his cheek. He leaned back and laid in the dirt crossing his arms beneath his head. Apparently, he was done talking. 

Naminé smiled at him anyway. Neither of them were conversationalists, and she didn’t mind at all. 

So she scooted in close, pulled her leg back, and laid down right in his personal space, watching him the whole time to make sure that she wasn’t invading too much. He was a little twitchy, but then he often was.

“Hey Van?”

“Hmm?” Van hummed softly, moving his arm a little. When Naminé snuggled in a fraction closer, he adjusted enough to allow it. 

Naminé lifted her chin to watch his face, then lifted her head to press her lips against his jaw, kissing the place that used to be permanently covered. “I love you. You know that, right? I love you?”

For just the briefest of moments, Van looked startled. He definitely wasn’t expecting the question. Then he smiled, eyes beyond soft. “Well, you tell me every time we talk, so yeah I figured it out.”

The kiss was new, but Naminé didn’t regret it. He deserved to know and he deserved to feel it. “Good. I love you.”

He laughed a little, just a tiny bit, and squeezed her tight. He didn’t say it back; he never had, but Naminé wasn’t discouraged. She felt it, too, in how differently he treated her and Ri from everyone else, even the ones he got along with. He cared for her in ways he did no one else. 

After another moment of peace, Naminé wiggled around and sat back up. Her frills were pressed wonkily around her head, but she didn’t have nerve endings in them so she couldn’t feel it. “C’mon! We might not have the time to explore the Hinterlands, but you can show me around town and we’ll pretend we’re looking for Sora. And your home!! I want to see it!!!”

“Okay, okay. Let me finish what I was working on,” Van requested. He sat up beside her and ran a hand through his hair. Beside him, most of the leaves on the Jack o’ lantern stems had been trimmed away and neatened up, except a small section where Naminé had interrupted him. He took the shears he had and went back to work, working efficiently and diligently. He threw his scraps in a metal bin Naminé hadn’t seen before, then closed the lid and set the shears on top. 

Naminé took his hand but let him lead the way. The lone Flood hopped up onto her shoulder and happily nuzzled her wet cheek. 

They artfully dodged Sora, who was being shown things around town by Jack. The first time had been entirely Van’s doing, but Naminé decided to make a game out of it, if only so she could spend just a little more time here. The closer to Sora they got before they had to dodge out of his presence or line of vision, the harder Naminé giggled.

She was also fairly certain that Sora actually knew they were there, or had an idea, but was letting her spend more time with Van rather than rushing her along. 

Van showed her all sorts of things. Jack’s house was huge, to account for both his height, and his status as the Pumpkin King. Dr Finkelstein’s lab gave her the creeps, and Van very pointedly instructed his Unversed to stay far away. The fountain was beautiful, even though the water in it was green and goopy. Naminé was pretty sure there was someone in there; she wondered if it was part of her species. 

Lastly, he dragged her to the end of the town, bordering the Hinterlands, just to look at it. Apparently, deep in these woods, there were doors to a different holiday world. Easter, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Independence Day. Van claimed he’d been in a few, but he wouldn’t say which. 

They sat amongst huge gravestones, just looking out into the woods. The Flood played in pools of water Naminé left behind, very deliberately getting itself dripping only to climb into Van’s hair and shake off right there. 

Van only laughed and shoved the little creature away. Naminé was glad he’d found himself a home and a place he was comfortable; it was clearly doing wonders for his annoyance and anger. It made her glad she had yet to ask him to move to Radiant Garden, with her. He was happier here. 

“When we leave, you should come,” Naminé said softly, covering one of his calloused hands with one of her own.

“...Leave where?”

“To see Ri!” Naminé reached a hand up to her shoulder, where the Flood was perched again. “He’s in San Fransokyo, now. He misses you, you know. You don’t call him, do you?”

Van’s cheeks went a shade of gray, and he sharply looked away. “...he doesn’t call me, either. I work a lot.”

“I know,” Naminé sighed. “I know you do, you keep yourself busy and it’s real, honest work and I’m really proud of you for it. But even if he doesn’t pick up, you should still call him. It reminds him that he’s loved. He needs to hear it, too.”

“Yeah, well… whatever,” Van said, cheeks grayer. Though Van didn’t deny that he loved Ri, too, he was embarrassed that it was spoken aloud. 

Naminé smiled but rolled her eyes, curling her fingertips around his. “It’s okay, you can tell him yourself when you come with us to see him.”

“Nam…”

“What?” Naminé asked, leaning back a little. The Unversed wrapped around her neck to stare at its master. “You miss him, you love him. You don’t talk enough. It’s an easy fix! And Sora won’t be too jumpy, I promise.”

Van frowned hard, taking his hand back and crossing his legs to lean forward a little, more than a little nervous. Since coming to live here, he had gotten accustomed to letting his Unversed run rampant. Going to other worlds meant he couldn’t do that. Which meant bottling. Ever since he no longer had to, since Master Xehanort’s passing, he hated bottling.

The Flood quickly crossed over from Naminé’s shoulder onto his, as if offering him comfort. It nosed his cheek, speaking to him, pressing closer and closer. Scrapper Unversed started materializing—he was getting very nervous. 

If she pushed him too hard, he’d flat out tell her ‘no’. He was nervous, and it was time to back off. 

“...But I won't think any differently of you if you decide not to come,” she said instead. He didn’t like having choices stolen from him; at least this way, whether he agreed to come or not, it was his choice, not hers. 

“...I won’t make any promises about Mr Sunshine,” Van finally said after a long minute, shoving the Flood off of his shoulder and vanishing the hovering Scrappers. His shoulders were a little stiff, but he seemed a little more at ease. 

A huge grin grew over Naminé’s face. She leaned her head down onto his shoulder and squeezed his hand. “Yay! I’m really happy you’re gonna come, Vani! Then I get to spend more time with you. And don’t worry about Sora, not much gets him down so if you don’t talk to him, he’ll get it. I’ll talk to him. I love you.”

Van’s cheeks once again went shades grayer. He mumbled something unintelligible under his breath, but he flashed her a surprisingly shy smile, lips sealed. As much as he could be a cocky asshole most of the time, something about having real friends now always made him clam up and get nervous. “Do what you want.”

“What are we doing?” Sora suddenly asked behind them, nearing from the town square. His sudden appearance made Van stiffen again, and slowly work Naminé off of him. Something about showing affection in front of people. 

“Sora!” Naminé didn’t mind that she had been forcefully detached, at least. She squeezed Van’s hand once, then let go and hopped to her feet, leaving Van looking very deliberately away from Sora. “Sora.”

“Hi, Nam. Having fun?”

“Loads! Van and me have just been poking around. Listen, I know I asked him before asking you, but I hoped it was okay to bring Van with us to see Ri. They don’t talk as much as they should even though they’re like best friends.”

“I, uh… I mean, sure, if he wants to! I don’t mind. Wanna come with, um, Van?”

Van was still looking away from him, and did not respond. He still seemed embarrassed about being clung to and found out.

“He’s not feeling very social right now,” Naminé said very quietly, reaching out and touching Sora’s arm. “Nervous.”

“Ahh. Well, that’s okay! You’re definitely invited, Van!”

The Flood crooned up at her silently, touching her webbed feet as if asking a question of its own. She leaned down to scoop it up. “This little guy is probably gonna stay out, because it helps him, is that okay?” She grabbed one of its little claws in her fingers and waved it at him. The Unversed had no care whatsoever. 

“Um, I guess, but make sure it doesn’t run around too much.”

“Will do! It’ll probably just stay in Van’s lap anyway; it helps.”

“Nam…” Van said warningly, shooting her a look. 

Naminé winced, hugging it tighter in apology and hoping he felt it. “Er, or mine.”

“Okay. Well, if we want to get over to San Fransokyo before it gets too late, we should go! Timing’s a little different there, and you don’t want to miss their sunsets. C’mon!”

Van took a second to catch up, but Naminé waited for him anyway. She looped her arm around his loosely, and flashed apologetic eyes his way. He shrugged, but said nothing more on the subject. 

Once they reached the Gummiship, Sora vanished the cloaking spell and let them in. Sure enough, when Van took a seat and was buckled in, the Flood leapt from Naminé’s arms into his lap, curling up like a pet. Naminé halfway expected it to start purring.  She took the seat next to Sora again so he didn’t feel forced to be social, and once they were buckled in (Sora happily chirping “safety first!!”), they took off. 

Naminé called Ri halfway to San Fransokyo, but hid who she was with and what she was doing to keep it a surprise. She screenshot her call so Sora had an idea of where they were going, then asked what he was up to. She happily shared conversation with Ri for a few minutes, until San Fransokyo showed up on Sora’s Navi-Screen, and she knew they were getting close. She happily turned her head back to look at Van, but he just watched the stars and asteroids fly by, and didn’t seem to notice. The Flood had yet to move. 

“Okay, okay, I gotta go Ri! I love you!! See you soon!”

“...What?” 

“Uh—nothing! Bye!”

“Smooth,” Van finally spoke up when Naminé hung up, which made Sora start to laugh, trying to at least cover it up with a wrist to his mouth for her sake. He reached over to take her phone when she offered it, saying “that’s where he was last.”

“Well,” Sora said cheerfully. “It’ll either be a huge surprise, or it’ll be small enough that he won’t get too surprised! If he’s anything like Riku, he won’t take surprises all that well.”

“He’s nothing like Riku,” Van snapped from the back, a hand resting on the Flood’s back and digging into its skin. “...But he doesn’t like surprises much.”

“He can be like Riku sometimes,” Naminé said. “He likes Riku. You’re the one who doesn’t.”

“He likes Riku because he thinks he has to,” Van corrected bluntly. “He’s still somewhere between ‘I Am Riku’, and ‘I Am Definitely Not Riku’, and all that self love crap is confusing him.”

“...Well, I hope it’s not crap,” Naminé said under her breath, frowning. Self love was not crap, and it wasn’t conceited either. It was a hard lesson that every person she knew of seemed to need working on, not just her boys. 

“...I’m just saying,” Van said, conceding just a fraction. 

Sora laughed goodnaturedly then coughed into his elbow when he felt Vanitas’ glare on him, silencing quickly. San Fransokyo was nearly just beneath the ship, so Sora turned the nose down sharply to descend into orbit. Naminé, and Vanitas behind them, both gripped their seats as the landing got shaky—no more than usual, but getting through the atmosphere was always a little disruptive. The Flood even darted into Vanitas’ jacket and poked its little head out to watch. 

The massive blue and green expanse they flew above soon gave way to a huge red bridge. Sora excitedly started talking about the first time he got here, flying toward the forest on the other side of the bridge, away from the city. Sora happily chattered about how apparently this bridge, the Torii Gate Bridge, was one of the largest in this world. Naminé supposed that was cool—probably would be cooler, if she lived on this world or visited it regularly. 

Still, the bridge was massive. That was cool. There was a semi-secluded clearing not far from the bridge that Sora dropped the ship into. Cloaking themselves apparently wasn’t necessary, so they exited the ship, and Sora cloaked it from view. Van took the Flood from his shoulder and stared at it, nervous. At least with one Unversed out, he could feel through it without being totally trapped. The Flood nosed his face and clawed at his hands happily.

“I bet,” Naminé said, feeling his nerves deep in her soul, “that if you put it in your jacket and don't make a big deal out of it, it’s fine to stay with you.” She couldn’t even imagine what it must be like, to not be able to feel emotions at all, without giving birth to a creature of darkness. That was one particular power of his that he’d never been able to put to words for them. The Unversed at least seemed to take on his emotions, varieties of them, once they were free, so he could feel in small spurts.

“...Yeah.”

“There’s lots of huge buildings too, with like 500 foot roofs at least, that are away from people and easy to get to, so they can, like, go free there,” Sora chirped. “C’mon! The sunset is to die for.”

Naminé gave him affectionate eyes, which she then tossed back to Van to see him lift his jacket and tuck the little critter inside. The Unversed seemed perfectly content to bury its face into its master’s side. 

The walk felt long to start, but then Sora flashed a wink at them and took Naminé’s hand, reminding her to have “light feet”, whatever that was supposed to mean. He crouched his knees just a little and waited for a decent sized passing car, and he and she jumped, much to Van’s surprise and hidden delight, on top of it. He followed suit quickly after, and the trip into the big city took much less time. 

Naminé was giggling like mad when they finally dismounted from behind, likely startling the driver. Sora waved them off with a sheepish grin, while Van actively fought back the appearance of another Unversed of some kind, hand protectively over his mouth. 

“Why didn’t you just glide?” Naminé asked once Van successively fought back the rush of emotion, eyeing Sora. “It’d be easier. Scare less people.”

“Where’s the fun in that?”

“Did you really just ask,” Van asked, voice strained like he was still fighting back tarry vomit, like it was still balled in his throat, “where the fun is in flying?”

“Besides,” Sora said, ignoring him. “I didn’t think either of you could glide.”

Van frowned and looked away. Naminé mumbled sheepishly about not being that far in her magic. That was all the answer he needed. 

“Come on! Can I see your phone again? I’ll take you right to where he was, then I wanna see if I can track down Hiro and the others!”

Naminé passed off her phone. Sora got a good idea of the area, where Ri had been surrounded by round pink bushes, and then took off, Naminé followed closely with Van trailing a little behind. 

It was outside of a huge building, but Naminé decided that wasn’t saying much since all the buildings here were huge. The bushes were pretty much perfectly round and absolutely, in Naminé’s opinion, delightful. 

Ri, though, was not lost amongst them. This city was much bigger than Halloweentown was and, unlike with Van, there would be no delightful little darkness critters to lead her right to her best friend. They’d either have to hunt him down, or…

“Would the Flood know his scent?” Naminé asked Van, looking at the little blue critter tucked into his coat. “If he was just here?” 

“You would be amazed,” Van started, but he obediently removed the little creature, “just how stupid these things are. I doubt it’ll know Ri.”

“Aren’t they extensions of you?” Sora asked, half-innocent. Van shot a positively evil glare on him, and Sora paled and took two steps back. “Um, I’m gonna dash, track down Hiro and them, okay? Just, um, remember the World Order, and call me if you get lost, this world is easy to get lost in. And!! Call me just before sunset, I wanna watch with you guys and catch up with, um, with Ri for a bit. We’ll get ice cream!! Okay?! Have fun!!” Like that, Sora was off. He freeran up the damn building and leapt onto the railing of the highway above them, grinding off quickly.

Naminé waved him off, bouncing on her toes. “Bye Sora!! I love you!!!” 

Van shook his head, but now that they were alone again, the affection on his face was much freer to show when he looked at her. “You say that a lot.”

Naminè looked back at him, flashing her best grin. “Yeah, well, it’s true, and everyone should know. Don’t worry, you and Ri are still my favorite.” She surged forward and took his hand, and when he didn’t stiffen which normally meant he was okay with contact, she moved the rest of the way in and wrapped her arms around him, burying her cheek against his shoulder. “I love you.”

“Yeah, well, whatever. C’mon, before we miss him.” Excitement shown on his face, and in the suddenly jittery Unversed. It had been a long time since he had last seen Ri. “Find Ri.”

The Unversed, apparently stupid as Van claimed, just stared at him, shaking a little as Van’s excitement leaked off of it. 

“Go.”

If the Flood had been human, its eyes would have been dead.

But Naminé knew what to do. These things were extensions of Van himself, after all. She crouched in front of it and scratched its head, noting the way Van turned his head just slightly as if he could sort of feel it. “Go, find your best friend.”

The Flood stared at her, but this time with less stupidity and more confusion, like it was asking “why are you asking me to find you?” Then its nose twitched, and it whirled around and hopped over one of the bushes, now knowing what it was looking for. 

Naminé glanced back to see Van completely gray in the face, blackened blood making his skin turn ashen. If she didn’t know any better, she’d have thought him ill, but she did know, and so knew he was needlessly embarrassed. 

“Shut up,” he said, then took off after his Flood. Naminé laughed and followed. 

The Flood was sniffing at a spot by one of the bushes that looked recently matted down, as if Ri had been laying there before vacating. Once it got a decent enough scent, it looked back at them as if to make sure that they were catching up. Then, it took off toward the side of the building, melted into the surface, and ascended like it was no problem. 

Naminé stared up at the little critter, seeing its shadow in the building but only slightly. She looked to her companion. “You know how to freerun?”

“I think so. You?”

“I hope so.” Naminé gulped, then took Van’s hand and laced their fingers together. “Come on!” 

She jumped and he jumped with her, activated their high jump, and angled themselves so their feet touched the building, and she prayed to something. Sure enough, their feet clung to the side of the building, as if gravity was merely a suggestion. After a second, she lost her footing, but as soon as they started moving, gravity forgot to care about them, and they followed the Flood up to the roof. It was a testament to how much time Sora spent here climbing walls, when so few people even noticed. 

They soon had to jump to another building, following the Flood’s suggestion, and headed towards the center of town. It lead them up another tall building, where it rocketed right to the top of the building and stopped. 

Once Naminé and Van were safely obeying gravity once again, the Flood took off to its final destination, the shoulder of the person standing there and staring at the flying fish things. 

Ri started hard, not knowing they were there at all, when the Flood happily launched onto his shoulder and forcefully nuzzled his face. He grabbed it and lifted it away, then realized exactly what it was. “Flood…?” It would make no sense for an Unversed to be here, unless…

He turned in the direction it had come from, eyes absolutely lighting up when he saw its master, his best friends. “Naminé? Van?”

“Ri!” Naminé gasped. She luckily avoided tripping over her feet in her rush to grab him. She launched forward and hugged him so viciously that he lost his footing and hit the roof on his rear. She understood why Van didn’t like being touched, what most of his life had been like before turning to the Light, but she was still really really happy that Ri didn’t have the same qualms. She loved hugging him. He had been, out of everyone she knew and loved, of Sora and Roxas and Xion and Axel and Kairi and now Van, he had been her first friend. She huddled into his suddenly exposed lap and pressed in all the closer, possibly squashing the Flood. “I missed you. I love you.”

Ri was still somewhere between amazed and startled, staring up at Van and eyes darting toward the blond hair not for from his face. After a moment though, he wiggled the Unversed somewhere safe, and hugged Naminé back just as tightly, kissing her cheek for good measure. “What are you guys doing here?”

9

“Aw, didn’t you miss us?” Van asked, half mocking. There was black tar dripping out the corner of his mouth, which meant Van was attempting to squash emotions and, ultimately, was failing. 

“I kidnapped Van.”

“Of course you did,” Ri said with an affectionate sigh. The affection flashed between both his friends, and Naminé knew there was no judgment toward Van for not being the one to decide on his own to visit. Where Ri wanted freedom to be who and where he wanted to be, rather than trapped in a castle or Riku’s heart, Van wanted control over his life and choices, and a place to call home. 

Ri shoved Naminé off of him playfully, then got back to his feet, offering the Flood to its master, although the extra outlet for emotion didn't seem like it would do him any good. An Unversed was well on its way. 

Regardless, Van stepped forward and opened up his arms, a gesture he had never given to anyone but them. “I’m hugging you,” he said, a semblance of the question they always posed for him. Naminé wasn’t sure if he was telling them that yeah, it was okay and he wasn’t forcing it, or maybe it was him warning himself, but he had always done it and they didn’t question it.

“I won’t stop you,” Ri assured with a laugh. Like Naminé had, he invaded Van’s personal space and buried his face in Van’s shoulder. Despite not being terribly tall, Van was still the tallest of them, and Ri and Naminé always took full advantage of it when he let them. 

The hug lasted for five seconds tops, before Van suddenly lurched in Ri’s arms and shoved him to the side, not violently but enough to get him out of the way. A hand flew to his mouth, and he quickly doubled over, gagging. Naminé and Ri’s hands quickly went to his back.

He lurched again, a terrible, bubbled noise coming out of his throat. Thick, black tar flew out and splattered on the metal, more dripping from his mouth to fill out the pool. He coughed and more came up, bubbling out of his mouth. He spat the acrid taste out and shuddered there, hands on his knees, Naminé and Ri rubbing his back helpfully. After a minute, the tar bubbled up again and took life, forming into a Hareraiser who stared up at its master and stepped forward as if to help soothe. 

“...Did you have to do that now?” Ri asked, shit-eating grin spreading across his face. 

Van shot him a heated glare and pulled a kerchief out of his pocket, a gift from Jack Skellington apparently, judging by the skeleton face in the corner. “You know damn well I don’t have a choice. I should kick you off this building.”

“No!!”

After a moment, the three sat at the edge of the building, staring at the mechanical flying fish. Naminé linked her fingertips with Ri’s and leaned on his shoulder, giving Van the space he needed after so violently birthing another Unversed. The Hareraiser perched on Ri’s shoulders and occasionally nuzzled him happily, very much embarrassing Van again without meaning to. 

“Why did you guys come here?” Ri asked after a short amount of time, silver hair swaying in the breeze. He kept his hair back in a low pony now, because he didn’t like his hair getting in his eyes but wasn’t prepared to cut it yet. Kairi had once braided it not long after he was reborn, lamenting how much she missed Riku’s long hair. “I mean, why here. Why now?”

“We missed you, dumbass,” Van snapped. 

“We love you,” Naminé said very simply, making Van sigh while Ri tossed her the fondest expression known to man. He squeezed her tight, and stuck his tongue out at Van, who snottily stuck his out back at him. 

“She’s become fond of the phrase,” Van explained, although it was hardly necessary. 

“Well, I do. And we did miss you, and I had time, and I had Sora. We do miss you. Plus Van doesn’t call you because he’s mean.”

“Oh yeah, he’s the worst.”

“Hey,” Van snapped. “I just spit up some awful bunny for you.”

The Hareraiser raised its ears as if aware it was being spoken of. Van winced when supposedly its voice shrieked in his head.

“Happy birthday to me.”

“Screw this, I’m going home,” Van snapped, although the tone in his voice suggested less. He shoved himself up off the side of the building, turning around to walk away. Ri laughed and released Naminé to lean back and grab at Van’s ankle. The Hareraiser lifted its ears to wrap around his knee, too, forcing Van to a stop. Well, more or less; he was certainly powerful enough to kick them both off without struggle, if he really wanted to. 

“Get back here, asshole, we’re only messing with you. Of course I like your awful bunny. It’s wonderful.”

The aforementioned Unversed cheered to itself, waving its ears in delight. Van kicked its ear, and Ri’s hand, out of his way, then obediently melted into the rooftop, crossing his arms over his crossed legs. Naminé leaned her head back and flashed him her best smile. 

The trio fell back into silence. Ri was stretched back, one hand knotted in Naminé’s shirt, the other just barely grazing Van’s knee. The wind was cool and gentle, the sun bright but they were protected by the shade of the building. They were so high up that the chatter from down below was pretty much non existent. It was like the three of them were the only people in the whole world. 

“...You know,” Ri suddenly said, stretching his hand up to reach for nothing but air. “I think this is the best random hangout session we’ve ever had.”

“I don’t think we’ve had one before,” Naminé said. Since the three of them regularly lived on different worlds, nothing they did could be random. Everything was planned. It was nice, and it worked for them. She’d take what she could get. 

“You have sad hangout sessions,” Van commented, flicking his head. “All we’ve done today is find you, hug, I threw up an Unversed, you made me hate you, and this.”

“Thrilling,” Naminé agreed, in such a sardonic Roxas voice that it made her start giggling to herself. 

“Shut up Van. Naminé has a point. We haven’t had one before, and that means that legally I’m allowed to call this one our best yet.”

“Legally?” Van asked with a laugh. His laugh had mellowed out since his release from the dark, and Naminé and Ri both found it quite pleasing. “You must not have gotten the memo. You aren’t allowed to do that anymore. CDA’s gonna come and break down your door.”

“CDA? What the fuck is CDA?”

“Oh—wrong world?” Van pulled a face, and Naminé and Ri started laughing with him. Naminé pushed herself back a little and laid back to use one of his knees as a pillow. It was bony, and he was still skinny, but she liked the warmth.  

“I agree with Ri,” Naminé said softly. The Flood was in her arms, arguably sleeping if Unversed ever slept. “This is the best, even if all we’ve done is find Ri and watch you throw up. I really needed this.”

“Needed?” Ri asked, turning his head to look at her. And there it was, that protective thing he was always so good at. 

“You didn’t say anything was wrong earlier,” Van said, voice suddenly tight. Naminé worried she was forcing on him some sort of emotion that was going to come bursting out in the form of black tar. 

“No no it’s… I mean, everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong, don’t either of you go worrying about me.”

“Legally we have to,” Van protested. 

“Shut up.”

“Everything’s fine! I just, I’ve been missing my favorite people a lot, and we don’t always talk as much as I like, and obviously we can’t spend a lot of time together and, I don’t know, I guess I’ve been lonely.”

“Lonely?” Ri sat all the way up, removing himself from Van’s personal space, to look down at her. He shared a suddenly nervous look with Van, who shifted a little to allow the adjustment. “You can’t be lonely. You said you’ve been doing better.”

“I was. And I am! Leon and his team, they’re all awesome. Sora’s awesome. Xion’s awesome. Terra’s—awesome. But they’re not… they’re not… I don’t know. I know I shouldn’t be lonely because I have friends now, loads of them, and it’s great! Kairi calls me every day, all the time, and she keeps saying ‘oh, you should have seen what Sora did this morning!’ or ‘Riku spent the night last night and we were up for hours’. Stuff like that. I just. I don’t know.” Naminé looked away from Ri and Van, going red in the face. She hugged the Unversed closer. She didn’t want to look at either of them, because she knew why they did what they did, and she knew why she did what she did. She didn’t even always feel like this, in fact most often she didn’t, but some days the miss happened, and she called up Sora to drag her all across galaxies. “I don’t know.”

“Nam—Nam, do you… are you jealous?” Ri asked, poking her bare arm. “Of Kairi? ‘Cause I mean that’s cool, Kairi’s cool, but if you ask me she’s got nothing on you.”

“Are you, like…” Van leaned over her a little, struggling with his words because emotions were hard to feel, let alone talk about. “...sad? That we don’t live on the same world as you?”

“It’s dumb! I know it’s dumb! Because you guys are awesome. You really really are! You’re out there living your best life, Van you have a steady job that keeps you busy and distracts your anxiety that you’re really good at, and you have a home where your emotions can do whatever they need or want to the way that they should, and that’s awesome!! Ri, you’re out here exploring worlds upon worlds upon worlds, you’re finding yourself in this spectacular way and you’re finding out every way that you are and aren’t Riku and that’s awesome. I hate feeling like this. Because it isn’t fair of me to want to uproot you from where you guys are finally happy.” Naminé squeezed the Unversed even tighter, so tight the squeak was nearly audible, but the wince from Van was definitely visible. 

Van and Ri shared another look before looking down on her. Van lifted her head and scootched out his knee from beneath. He moved a little and slid down alongside her, laying back so they were side by side. Ri scooted down and laid on her opposite side. The three huddled together like sardines, and for once none of them minded the touch in the slightest. 

“It’s okay, Nam. If you miss us. Or if you want to call us up in the middle of the night because world times are fucked up and you want to tell us all about your latest art project. We might not talk but we’ll listen. Well— I’ll listen, Van’ll fall asleep.”

“You—knew damn well how much work I did the day before, you called me then on purpose!” 

“Shut up Van this isn’t about you.”

“Pot shot,” Naminé said quietly, reaching over to pinch Ri like Van asked her to every time he made a low blow. 

“The point is, we’re still your friends, no matter what. You were my first friend.”

“You were my first friend,” Van agreed softly. 

“So we’ll be here, even when you’re lonely and you don’t think you should be.”

Naminé sighed, wiggling her shoulders a little so she came out on top. “I know. In my head, I know. I just… it’s not the same as being with you. Touching you.” She released the shaky Unversed, reaching out both her hands to track down Van and Ri’s hands. “Even when you don’t always like it.”

“...Sorry we can’t be there, then,” Van mumbled. Their pinky and ring fingers locked. 

The trio lapsed once again into silence. The Hareraiser once again found Ri’s free hand and was demanding head skritches, so Van occasionally turned his head in a fruitless attempt to get away from the bizarre muted feeling. 

“You know what I think?” Van suddenly asked, which was odd considering he didn’t often voice his opinions unless he was being snide. 

“What do you think,” Ri asked. 

“I think somewhere out there, there’s a world for us. Like how stupid Ventus and his friends have a world practically made for them, and OG Riku and his friends have a world made for them, and even the two carbon copies and their friends have worlds made for them. I think somewhere there’s a world like that for us. Some kind of weird mix of light and dark.”

“Mostly dark,” Ri interjected halfway playfully, watching him. Van was suddenly talking with his free hand, fingers up towards the clouds. 

“Oh obviously, light is gross.”

“Obviously,” Naminé giggled. 

“What do you think of this world made for us?” Ri asked. “What will we do with it?”

“I dunno. I’m not saying we, like, we move there but. Who knows. Maybe one day, you’ll go there Ri, and you’ll find out its like hella artsy and shit. So you call up Naminé, and because it’s hella dark and there are weird monsters everywhere you call me, and now we have to go check it out, and maybe we just don’t leave.” 

“Hmmm…” Naminé said seriously, setting her chin. “We’ll be on the same world.”

“Pretty much all the time.” 

Naminé’s smile grew back over her face, in a soft and gentle way that really, Van and Ri both loved. “I think that sounds amazing, Van.”

“Yeah, it sounds pretty cool. I’ll keep my eye out for really super fucking dark but also really super fucking artsy worlds, and I’ll let you know the next one I see.”

“Cool.”

“Until then,” Ri said, squeezing Naminé’s hand, “maybe Van and me can get out to Radiant Garden more. So you’re not so lonely. Would that be okay? Van?”

“...Yeah. I can make it work. But Naminé, you have to show us something cool every time.”

“Legally, or CDA will kill you.”

Naminé looked between her two half-bickering boys, her best friends in the whole multiverse, attempting to make plans that she wasn’t even sure they’d be able to keep, just because she sometimes got lonely. The Flood was nuzzling her chin as its own affection as well as Van’s took over. 

“...Okay, I think I can do that. I really love you guys.”

Ri pressed closer to her and leaned his head against hers. Van squeezed her hand tight, and she knew they felt the same.

Sora was right. The sunset was fucking spectacular, especially from the vantage point atop the Torii Gate Bridge. As promised, Naminé called up Sora and they met him on the bridge. Van glared at him, but then he presented bars of chocolate ice cream, and he mellowed out. Sora took a slightly higher vantage point than them, leaving the three to their companionship while still able to interject himself. 

Ri had spent the rest of the day showing them cool things around the city and talking about his time there. He only dropped Naminé’s hand when he had to. 

He also carried the Hareraiser around all day, and it curled in his lap now, not prepared to leave, apparently. Van mumbled under his breath when he noticed, but didn’t seem all in all too upset that it stayed where it was. 

“I feel like we should come back here more,” Naminé said softly. “Just for this part. Or for all of it. Today was great.”

“I’m leaving here the day after tomorrow,” Ri reminded her, poking her head. 

“...Elsewhere then. Somewhere else pretty. Oh!! The Caribbean would be cool.”

“We should live there,” Van agreed. “They have ships and you don’t have to talk to people because you can be on the ocean one hundred percent of the time.”

Ri rolled his eyes and smacked a fist on Van’s thigh, making him laugh. 

“That won’t work because I need electricity to do digital art and also phones won’t charge.”

“Yeah, Van, you’d die without your phone.”

Van willed an Archraven into existence, then pulled out his phone to consider it. He shrugged, said “eh”, and tossed it over the edge. 

“Van!”

The Archraven instantly trailed after the little device, depositing it back in his lap and perching on his shoulder. 

“That’s the only way we can contact you when you’re on a different world, asshole!”

Naminé, giggling, dropped her head toward her lap and the Flood, who lifted its snoot to her, ready to be kissed. “Why are you the way that you are,” she said, as Van had asked them a number of times when he was simply too tired to put up with their shenanigans. She took the Flood’s head in her hands and angled it back a little bit so she could easier kiss it. 

“Hey, you guys like me this way, that’s not my fault.”

Ri let out a startled laugh and shoved Naminé into him, making them both start laughing as well. The Archraven waved its wings in protest of the movement and clicked its beak at Ri. They settled and left the poor Unversed be.

“...I don’t think I want to go home,” Naminé said. “I love Radiant Garden, but I don’t wanna say goodbye yet. I love you guys so much.”

“We love you too,” Ri said softly, flashing her a warm smile. 

“Love you too,” Van agreed, halfway startling Ri and Naminé. They looked at him with huge eyes; he’d never said so before. He showed it, but he’d never said the words. 

“...You do?”

“Yes? God, fuck off. Nevermind then.”

“Nono!!” Naminé gasped, flinging her arms around him and squeezing him tight. “I love you too, Vani. I’m just surprised you didn’t throw up an Unversed again.”

“...That really only happens when it’s sudden.”

Naminé squeezed him tighter, enjoying that implication. “I hope it’s okay that I’m hugging you. I forgot to ask.”

“Yeah yeah…” Van said, putting his arm around her. “Just don’t make a habit of it.”

Ri stood from where he was now left alone and slunk over to Van’s other side, putting his arms around him and squeezing him tight too. “I’m hugging you now, since they’re free.” 

“Whatever. Last one.”

Naminé leaned her head on Van’s shoulder, looking up to Sora who was smiling very warmly at them. He leaned back and watched the sky, as if they had all the time in the world. Maybe they did. She didn’t know how times worked on different worlds. “Do you love him too, Van? Or just me.”

“Definitely just you.”

“Ouch,” Ri said with a laugh.

“Van!”

“You asked!”

“It’s okay Nam,” Ri said, patting her head. He released Van and let him take some space back. “I know he loves me because a few weeks ago I called him three times on the same day and he only yelled at me for like ten minutes the last time.”

“Three times in one day is unnecessary.”

“It must be love,” Naminé agreed. 

“It is,” Van snapped, then he realized he’s spoken alone and his skin went several shades ashier. “Anyone else but you two and I wouldn’t even have answered once.”

That was true.

“Yeah, well, anyone else but you two and I wouldn’t even have called, so it must be love or something.” Ri gently kicked Van’s boot so he knew, and Van kicked back.

Naminé smiled at her friends and leaned back, the sunset now almost totally blocked out by the Flood. “You know, I think today might be the best day ever.”

Ri leaned back. Van sat up between them, but put his hand on her belly to pat. 

“I think you’re probably right.”

[yenrz1314]

LET’S (attempt to) FIX/REWRITE KH 358/2 DAYS

Let me preface this: I love Roxas, Xion, and Axel A LOT. I have been thoroughly blinded by nostalgia as much as you have and I don’t really care. I’ll continue to love them even after I’m finished destroying their game here. Keep in mind I’m not hatin’. And, fun fact, I think that Days is perhaps the best written game in the series regarding character writing. Still doesn’t mean I think it’s actually good though.

I’m going to start off saying something kind of controversial. Axel, Roxas, and Xion weren't that great of friends. 

Yes they were the best friends that they ever had, but when you're constantly surrounded by the melancholic mundane, any sort of friendship is the great friendship. They weren't that great at being friends to each other because they dealt with conflict in the most incompetent way possible. As far as I know, there was barely any communication whatsoever between them, which is really disappointing because Roxas is like the most understanding person ever. Most of their conversations concerned small talk. Not necessarily boring small talk, but small talk.

I really wish we could at least have gotten a talk between Xion and Roxas when he was on that mission to chase her down before Axel came in and knocked her out. The only real communication about Xion’s situation is between her and Axel, and we rarely get to see any camaraderie between her and Roxas. We do see a decent amount between Roxas and Axel but I’ll just attribute to the fact that they’ve existed as characters longer than Xion has.

Xion’s inherently pretty bad at communicating. To Roxas especially. Even though Axel tried to talk her down, she didn't really explain herself much. Axel honestly had to figure it out himself.

If Days gets remade I hope to death that we have at least one scene of Roxas and Xion having more meaningful talks. Alone. They were close. Its just that Xion kept stonewalling, and Axel would always be dodgy with his answers, which makes you question if they’re truly all that close. I mean, you wouldn’t just not tell one of your best friends anything about something you’re really struggling about.

Though I guess you can’t blame them since they had no memories of their past and were learning based off of watching those around them, and they did live with the organization

And to be fair, you’re a part of an organization with a leader the answers basic questions like “Who is Sora?” with vague af answers like "the connection".

Also they’re stupid teenagers. I’m already giving them the benefit of the doubt.

Honestly I would normally be fine with her lack of communication and accept it as an character flaw.  In fact, under normal circumstances, it would be a reason for me to be invested in her character. But the truth is that we don't see enough scenes of him and Xion having meaningful bonding time for me to be accepting of that lack of communication. There was that one absolutely adorable scene of Roxas and Xion on the clocktower discussing about how much they worry about each other...but the rest of the time they spent together is superficial, mostly consisting of just kind of empty small talk. It’s kind of rare that we see them actually talk about their relationship and/or any chemistry. A lot was just them sitting next to each other eating ice cream or on missions and we did have a lot of skips of one of them being asleep or missing.

The main problem KH has in its writing is that it really likes to display the cute little quirks or tressings of a relationship but absolutely fails to write any core to that relationship. Like, for example, the seashells they leave for each other when they’re sleeping is absolutely precious, but there’s not that much of a core dynamic between these characters that this really cute character interaction can be built upon. And in the end, but just because something is tragic doesn't mean it has substance

Because Days doesn't give me enough meat of writing to bite into, it just ends up as a frustrating tale of Roxas just being confused the whole time. Sure, Roxas is the main character, but he literally has almost no agency throughout the entire game. And I find that pretty insulting to his character. This guy is literally one of the most well written in the series. And no, I’m not pulling the ‘xion’s a mary sue stealing the spotlight’ card. I’m totally fine with her existing, but dang if I had the opportunity to change ONE THING about Days I would totally rewrite the cutscene Fracture on day 298, the day when Xion was captured.

So the original scene goes like this: Roxas tracks her down, asks her to come back, he tries to comfort her, asking why she won’t come back to him. She just says "I can't" and GETS SCARED WHEN THE MOST TRUSTED PERSON IN HER LIFE REACHES OUT TO HER. Okay. breathe. I understand if she’s scared. It’s a bit of a stretch, yes, if we take into account that she’s in the depths of emotional turmoil trying decide between her friends or Sora. I understand if she really doesn’t want to go back to the organization. My problem is that Roxas really doesn’t pose a threat to her at all here.

But then again, it could be that Xion’s a very delicate person, emotionally. And that she’s easily disturbed and is flighty. BUT THE THING IS: We don’t see this anywhere else. Days, as is, doesn’t really do a good job of establishing Xion’s personality at all anyways. So we can throw that excuse out the window.

BUT. BUT BUT BUT. THE ABSOLUTE WORST WAS WHEN SHE TURNED HER KEYBLADE ON ROXAS.

SERIOUSLY I would have totally been fine with everything up to this point except her turning on him like that

Again, he is literally no threat to her at all! I can understand her being scared, but he didn’t threaten to take her back or yell at her or anything

Like why. Why isn’t she willing to tell him anything about the truth about her existence. It's not like she's trying to keep it a secret. I understand how jarring it must have been for her to have that sort of existential crisis knowing that she’s just a puppet created to copy...But telling Roxas absolutely nothing is ridiculous. ESPECIALLY because Roxas was the one who always was breaking his back for her. He was the one who first approached her to join him at the clock tower, he was always trying to reach out to her, understand her. Heck, even when Xion was the aggressor, both times in Fracture and in the final battle, Roxas still sees her as the victim, the one who was in the right, and it's both very sweet and a bit unhealthy that he views her in such a positive light. He always does his best to give her the benefit of the doubt. And this is clearly shown in his actions.

I would rewrite it like this:

Keep everything the same up to the point right before she turns on him. She walks away and he stops her and everything, but after that she stops and thinks for a moment. And she asks quietly for him to let her go. Roxas, of course, let's her go because he's freaking Roxas

And she tries explaining to him what's going on in a very roundabout way, for the sake of being consistent with her established character. I'm not asking for her to explain it word for word. She's as flighty as a deer. I understand her not being direct. And then Roxas tries talking to her how they could work this out. Hell, this would be the PERFECT TIME to incorporate that scene from the manga when Roxas proposes they run away together. Xion is shocked and ask if he is serious, and he says yes. And THAT'S when Axel comes in and stops the party, and everything plays out the same till the end of the cutscene.

Also if this writing was implemented, then that would be a payoff point. The pacing in Days’ story is kind of whack, and adding a breakthrough moment like this would be super satisfying to the viewer.

Also it makes sense that Axel would come in then because he can't just accept both of his friends leaving like that. In the og game, Axel pretty much just let his two best friends walk away from him.  The only time he shows any protest is when he is ordered by his superiors to go after them. Xion in particular. Sure this works, as it’s implied that Axel is respecting his friends’ autonomy by letting them go.

But maybe we could make it better by having Axel go through a mini arc where he accepts his friends' departure with a bit of a struggle. You’ll see more below.

The only change that would have to be made is that the organization would have to actively keep Roxas and Xion apart to keep them from conspiring together. Or when they're together, always have a third party member to keep a watchful eye. I’m guessing this would mean no more ice cream time either. For now.

Xion’s communication is just a trickle the first few days, but over time it slowly opens up, gradually telling more as they interact when they have the occasional mission together. She would mutter things like 

“The organization is keeping so much from us, Roxas…” 

or telling snippits like that when the third party member/chaperone isn’t watching.

Eventually, the organization takes note of this and orders for the two to be kept completely separate at all times, and Axel knows that this will absolutely kill their friendship so he does a solid by confronting Saix about it to propose a compromise. He’s like: 

"I'm a trusted member of this organization. Hell, I brought them back for you.  So how about this: I'll watch them for you instead" 

And Saix accepts that compromise. And the result of that compromise is that we get more trio missions, something we ALL LOVED. And also those would be opportunities for them to talk. ALL THREE OF THEM

Okay so the three talk on missions and at the clocktower again, Xion knows her purpose and desperately wants to leave. She won’t disclose Riku or Namine's location. Axel protests fiercely to the thought of her leaving. Meanwhile Roxas is trying to mediate as always, but he leans more towards helping Xion leave at least. However, he would still show how he emotionally would rather have her stay. He has an internal struggle when Xion tries to explain their connection with Sora and how they need to go back during a few talks with them alone that Axel allows. She needs to be the one who tells him he needs to come back to Sora.  Someone who he trusts and can help him through this process. Not a stranger like Riku or Namine.

And then this time of communication all abruptly comes to a halt when the Org. starts pitting Roxas and Xion against each other in missions. Also, let's have Xion be less heartless to Roxas here and not be so eager to leave. Of course, she desperately still wants to, but Roxas is her anchor keeping her there. She knows that it'll all be for naught if Roxas doesn't go with her anyways. Also she doesn't want to hurt him by just leaving like that. She cares.

So, back to the rewrite, the talks stop when the organization starts pitting roxas and Xion against each other in those missions. Axel stops them like he did originally, and they have a talk about how crazy ridiculous this all is. Roxas agrees with Xion and Axel agrees too but hides it because he's a coward and is the org's lapdog, and just tries as hard as he can to keep them together. Roxas is dismayed that his existence is possibly ending, but at the same time agrees with Xion that this is all crazy. Axel shuts them down for the day. 

And the next day is the day Xigbar, Axel and Xion go on that mission.

But instead of Xion jumping ship, Riku comes in to take Xion, kidnapping her without a fight because he knows he can't take survive one against two other org. members. Axel doesn't do anything to stop her because he's accepted it at this point. Also seeing Xion as Ven really made him realize the gravity of the situation.

This really upsets Roxas because he thinks Xion was taken against her will. Axel doesn’t have the heart to tell him about Xion’s current extremely unstable state. And this sets him off since he's been putting up with so much BS at this point and he runs away as originally written as well as to search for Xion, because he knows the org. will never let him look for her himself. Everything plays out the same after that.

 On the clocktower where Roxas and Xion meet, there's one change. When she shows him that she's almost Sora, she *explains* as best as she can what’s happened to her, since she’s under the control of the org. now. She makes him realize that it's inevitable that she must die or she'll cease to be herself. And then they fight as originally scripted, Roxas’ motive for fighting being that there still might be a chance for them to go on if he finishes things himself.

When the fight is over and she begins to die, Xion's final request is that he join back with Sora. That is were it this all leads and she knows it. We're changing that because in the original she, when Roxas and Riku are fighting, for some dumb reason, retracts her final wish???? Like… that's got to be one of the most contrived things in this story.

Also I'd like to cut that dumb pointless plot device that Roxas forgets who Xion is right after finishing his final battle with her, Because by golly did the writing team really want Roxas to be as clueless as possible even as his best friend is dying. Geez wtf.

Honestly, you can keep the memory loss, just please make it so that he remembers her SOONER, so they can actually COMMUNICATE AND SO THAT HE CAN ACTUALLY SAY GOODBYE.

FUACK.

“Promise me...you’ll come back...to Sora. That way...we can be together again...”

Or something like that, make me cry more. 。ﾟ(ﾟﾉД｀ﾟ)ﾟ｡

But then what would Roxas’s motive be for going back to The World That Never Was and fighting Riku then? Just wait a moment and hold on to your seat because I’m going to take the original situation and make it even more badass AND make it work with my rewrite.

Also this blog is finally almost done good job for making it this far.

Let's have Roxas know about the heartless nobody cycle. He can have learned this after maybe sifting through the organization’s research files or something. It wouldn’t be hard to stick it in the story somewhere. 

What was the most heartwrenching thing about Roxas’s final day in the real world? I would say his rage, grief, and desperation over his entire life. So let’s take that, and multiply it by a couple dozen times. After Xion's death, his motive to destroy the organization will be more about his rage at the unjust way he was treated. Him and Xion. They messed up his and his friends’ lives.

“Well if I die, then whatever I'll just go back to Sora. Kill two birds with one stone.”

Regardless of however you write Days, angsty, bloodthirsty Roxas is a requirement. It’s what makes Roxas Roxas. And as a result his grief is amplified tenfold. He doesn't even care about preserving his own life anymore.

And Riku confronts him. Asks him what the hell he's doing. He tells him he's going to fuck up the organization. And Riku's like ‘don't be stupid they'll just capture you and hold you hostage to keep Sora from waking’

Roxas looks at him, points one of his keyblades towards him.

"You don't know that." 

"I'll end every single one of them before they get the chance. You want me to prove it..? WELL HERE'S MY PROOF!” 

AND THEN HE FREAKING STRIKES,

AND THAT’S THE FIGHT

And let's hammer in the fact that Roxas is his own freaking person. Instead of the line "C'mon Sora! I thought you were stronger than that!" from Riku, instead he says to Roxas something akin to this:

"C'mon Sora...I know you're stupid, but not to this extent!"

And then Roxas doesn't give him a Sora-ish line.

“You’re the one calling me by the wrong name.”

Riku sits defeated and despondent on the ground.

"...Why...? It's not supposed to be this way...Sora..."

This breaks a nerve in Roxas.

"This again?! I'm me. NOBODY ELSE. Get that through YOUR thick head!"

And the rest is history...

..................

THAT’S THE REWRITE KIDS.  YOU’RE FINALLY FINISHED READING THIS RIDICULOUSLY LONG BLOG. THANK YOU FOR READING \o/

Fun fact, this was all borne out of a late night discord chat with a friend of mine.

Edit: this is the headcanon for what happened in Days now. Goodnight.

[themattress]

More bullshit from Mod A in regards to Xion.  Mod M is more reasonable (although I question if toxic male fandom does hate anything that reads like fanfiction at first glance...I think that if it reads like the kind of fanfiction they like, then they’ll eagerly accept it. I like to consider myself equal opportunity in this regard: if it reads like any kind of bad fanfic, then I dislike it.)

I’m with @riniuchihaa here. For me, Xion, far from being the best KH character, was the first glaring neon warning sign that the series was going off-course, that an original character was being created for the sake of it despite not being able to impact much of anything given her placement, and then was not ever let go of even though the excuse given as to why she was forgotten by KH2 should have rendered it impossible for her to appear in the series again.

“not a damsel in distress, action girl or sex object”

Is she not those things, though?  She has to be rescued or protected several times throughout the game. She wields a Keyblade and can even be better at it than Roxas if she’s absorbed enough of his strength. And there are a lot of creepy guys online that will argue that she is sexy, particularly with KH3′s model of her suggesting that she’s not wearing anything underneath that coat, which is open all the way to just above her chest. By KH3, she’s even taken Namine’s “plot device to make convoluted shit happen” status. If anything, people take issue with her being all of those things, and not even being them as well as other KH girls. She’s very derivative with little to add for herself.

“she’s a regular human being with a regular human emotional arc”

I would actually say that of Xion in the manga.

In the game, I think this is a case of projecting. Xion’s personality and arc are written as such a blank slate, with more people talking about Xion and what she’s going through than her and it being onscreen, that it’s easy to project on to. But when looked at objectively, there isn’t much humanity to it at all.

Ask yourself this: what is Xion like when she’s not around Roxas and Axel, doing missions and eating ice cream? What are her likes and dislikes, her own personal hobbies or aspirations? What are her feelings on matters completely unrelated to her friends?  For the life of me, I can’t come up with an answer. The closest I can get is with the text of her Secret Reports, where she honestly shows more character than she actually shows in the game itself (but then, that’s the same with Roxas and his Diary entries.) 

Before her identity crisis kicks in, all of Xion’s scenes are shared with Roxas and/or Axel, in the context of missions, ice cream, and being good friends with them, simply going along with whatever they’re doing and saying. Any feelings of inadequacy she feels during periods of time where she’s “malfunctioning” are skimmed over, and again is talked about more by other people than by her. Once her identity crisis happens, any scene she has apart from Axel and Roxas either still works them in somehow (they are consistently her biggest motivations in her own personal conflict, the only reason she’s conflicted about her existence is because of them since they give her a reason to exist) or just focuses on her freaking out about the fact that she’s a replica whose personality was formed based on the fragmented memories of another person that leaked into Xion through that person’s Nobody, which makes her less fit to exist than those who aren’t meant to exist. Yeah, totally a regular human emotional arc right there!  Can’t count the number of times in the history of the human species that people have had to go through that!

Kairi in KH and Namine in COM actually felt like human beings with emotional arcs in spite of their extraordinary circumstances. Xion feels more like KH2′s Kairi and Namine, where I get the basic trope behind their personalities and development, but can’t really pin them down as three-dimensional and realistic. That’s Xion - the writing for her is very trope-y, not human. The main points of how she was written were three-fold: as a plot device (a means of getting Roxas from point A to point B), as a wish-fulfillment character (she’s basically Tomoko Kanemaki’s self-insert), and as an exploration of a theme (the “What Measure is a Non-Human?” theme that Kanemaki is obsessed with). The humanity being inferred in regards to her being a trans girl case study was not at all intended to be there, and it can only happen because she was sketched thinly enough for it to be applied to her. 

“complains that she’s taking too much space or stealing the spotlight”

I’m sorry, but this is a valid complaint. When it was announced there was going to be a game about Organization XIII set between COM and KH2, everyone was wanting and expecting more development and focus on the members who had already been firmly established, most of whom were in desperate need of such development and focus. So to suddenly have Xion introduced and be the major focus of the game, whether she’s actually on-screen or not, would be very jarring and disappointing. 

What’s worse is all the games she pops in after Days, as not only does it destroy the established rules of canon in regards to her fate, but she ultimately steals the spotlight in an even more harmful way in KH3: Kairi, the original KH girl, who had been receiving build-up for YEARS as a Keyblade-wielding Guardian of Light, is literally screwed out of this role in favor of Xion, her Mary Sue copycat whom no-one asked for to begin with and whom many people weren’t keen on having return, as not only did it destroy the main thing she had going for her (her nature as a tragic character) but it robbed Kairi of development and focus that, again, she was in desperate need of. But Xion got over 30 more votes than Kairi in a Japanese popularity poll, so...priorities?

“Xion’s story is about the right to define her own existence, to live as her own true self, etc.”

No, that’s not what Xion’s story was about. It was about her learning that she had no right to her existence because it was actively hurting the existences of others, including her best friends’, and that the right thing to do is to disappear. I take some issue with how it played out (mainly that Xion accepts this way too easily and becomes a “Too Good For This Sinful Earth” type who does the right thing for the sake of her friends even when a more angry, selfish and conflicted Xion would’ve been more engaging and human, and that Riku is OOC in his treatment of her considering his treatment of Roxas), it was still incredibly tragic and it owned that. So for that tragic story to be undone in favor of a “lol, just kidding, Xion can exist and get a happy ending with her friends after all, no tragedy here!” way of appeasing the fans who called foul and raised a stink about it (especially in Japan) will never sit right with me, especially when the writing doesn’t even TRY to justify it. It just happens for the sake of it.

“It has a lot to do with the fact that Xion is a young girl whose story expects us to genuinely empathize with her”

OK, here’s a tip: it is rarely EVER a good idea to expect your audience to all feel a certain way toward something and try to force that reaction. “Death of the Author” is a thing, which is why you’re best not taking sides or playing favorites when making a story, you’re better off putting your personal feelings aside and just letting things play out, allowing people in the audience to make up their own mind. When the story pushes for the audience to genuinely empathize with Xion, with lines by others such as “poor Xion!”, then it’s not surprising that the opposite effect happens: some fans don’t like or empathize with her because they resent the hamfisted attempts at being told that they should. 

“That’s like saying Kairi didn’t matter in KH1 because Sora forgot her in COM”

That’s a false equivalence if I ever saw one. KH came out before COM, and Sora didn’t forget her so much as she was replaced by someone else, Namine, in his memory, which drove that story’s conflict. Its resolution was Sora learning the truth and remembering Kairi again. Kairi is still a factor in COM, a very important factor at that. Days came out after KH2, where there isn’t even a hint of Xion, she is not a factor in that game because she wasn’t invented yet. Sure, Xion matters to Days, but that mattering doesn’t feel like it amounts to much when she isn’t seen, heard from or mentioned for the entirety of the game it was leading up to.

“But so what?”

So, it feels incredibly unnatural to have a character jammed into a pre-existing timeframe and pre-existing dynamic prior to KH2, with mass amnesia being used as a plot device to explain away why she wasn’t present in any way in KH2, only for every game taking place after KH2 (and thus after Days was made) to suddenly start featuring Xion again, with the mass amnesia plot device being casually discarded. What’s worse is how canon rules were obliterated so that Xion could return in KH3 and reverse the tragedy element that made her story effective to begin with, at the expense of characters like Kairi who have been around longer than Xion and who desperately needed exposure more than Xion. Seriously, in addition to the point I already raised about Xion taking Kairi’s place, just think about this: characters that were created as a trio, Sora, Riku and Kairi, are no longer a trio, just the duo of Sora and Riku, while characters that were created as a duo, Roxas and Axel, are now a trio thanks to Xion. It feels like a slap in the face to all the fans who liked Kairi and the Destiny Trio, and it’s a big reason as to why Xion’s inclusion in the series feels like a mistake to those fans and thus why she’s such an off-putting character to them.

The only statements made here that I agree with is that Xion sadly wouldn’t have gotten as much hate if she was a badass, older male character, that her being forgotten due to memory magic isn’t really a mark against her since that’s a cheap plot device that happens to a lot of characters in the series, and that you can’t really do the story of 358/2 Days without her since she’s so integral to it...but on that note, the story of 358/2 Days didn’t need to happen. The KH series during its early days was meant to be Sora, Donald and Goofy’s story, so leaving the period of time where they were asleep a blank made perfect sense. We never needed to know about Roxas’ time in the Organization beyond what was said and shown in KH2, and to this day I honestly wish we hadn’t.  In game form, anyway. The manga is great, it can stay!

[candi-girl]

KH3: Hollower Than Any Toy Review **Minor Spoilers**

I just beat KH3 yesterday. I came out of it feeling a bit disappointed. The game is beautiful and the mechanics are still fun but everything from the story to the boss fights felt a bit lackluster. The last boss fights were extremely easy and did not feel as epic to me as KH2's last boss fights. In fact, I liked KH2's ending way more. I haven't played KH2 in years and I still remember exactly how it goes and how I felt after beating it. After what felt like an eternity of reflecting and deflecting light beams back at Xemnas, Sora and a badly wounded Riku sit hopelessly on the shores of the Realm of Darkness. Suddenly a letter in a bottle with a familiar seal emerges from the dark sea. A light shines, a slowed down piano version of "Sanctuary" plays and we are back in the welcoming and colorful world of Destiny Islands. Donald and Goofy lovingly embrace Sora. His eyes then lock-on to Kairi's, Roxas and Namine's eyes follow suit. This felt wayyyy more emotional than KH3's ending which I struggle to remember even though I beat it today.

Before I go any further, I feel I must preface this especially for a post about KH. No, I haven’t played all the spin-off games but I AM A PASSIONATE FAN of the main games in the series. I played the first one for PS2 at 11 when it came out and I was absolutely blown away and in love. I played KH2 at about 14 and got sucked in all over again. In college, I would play Birth By Sleep in between classes. I played 1.5 for PS3 sometime in college as well. Most recently at 27, I played 0.2 from the "The Story So Far" bundle for PS4. I have tried playing Chain of Memories numerous times on an emulator but couldn't stand the Card System and never got very far or finished it. I've also tried 358/2 on an emulator and I've even tried watching it but never got far with it either. I have skipped Re-coded altogether and as soon as I saw the Dream Eaters Link mechanic in DDD I stopped playing that too. I have played a little bit of the mobile KH game but not for long. Suffice it to say, I'm not into mobile games or games for portable devices. The only 2 games I can recall that I have beaten on a portable device (besides Pokemon games on Gameboy) are Birth By Sleep and FFVII: Crisis Core (both PSP). Generally, I get more immersed in games on a TV screen.

Okay so background out of the way, here is what bothers me about KH3 and probably why KH3's ending didn't make me feel as much as KH2's ending. And let me just say, I know this might not be a problem for others who have played all the games, read all the news and external books, probably follow Nomura on Twitter but I don't do that. When it comes to gaming, here is my process: I see a cool game, I want it, I buy it, I play it, I judge whether I like it based on the content in the game, nothing external. I don't follow any gaming news or actively pursue it. If I happen to have the time I’ll watch E3 and hear about things here and there but mostly, when I pick-up a game, I'm hoping it can be self-contained. So, knowing that about me, you can see why I absolutely loathe that if you haven't played KH DDD, KH Recoded, KH 358/2 Days, KH X (the Foretellers lore stuff) you're missing out on like 3/4 of the story.

Chain of Memories being between KH1 and KH2 irked me but I forgave it because the characters and story were still basically the same. Lock keyholes to protect various worlds from being consumed by darkness, help characters in those various worlds with their problem, stop main baddy from opening up Kingdom Hearts, and don't forget that friends are your strength and light. Nothing is wrong with keeping a story “Simple and Clean” and in fact, I think if a story is simple you can focus on making stronger character arcs and make the game super character driven so that the dangerous stuff that happens to characters IS actually scary and emotional! (Side Note: I also believe that because of the association with Disney, the KH franchise feels like it cannot tackle more mature themes like actual death of loved ones, failure, betrayal, etc. which really holds back what a game about the Heart could explore in a more serious, sophisticated manner. However, games like “Ni No Kuni” still find ways to talk about death, depression and grief in ways that are appropriate for younger audiences so it’s possible to do it, KH!)  

And I know that KH3 pokes fun at itself for having so many different titles in the franchise and I know it tries to get you up to speed but it cheapens the experience when SO MUCH of the story-telling and lore heavily relies on externalities and not the self-contained game. It seriously becomes a hindrance and emotional barrier when #1 I don't know know what's going on (or don’t understand/feel the extent and impact of something that's supposed to be dangerous), #2 don't know characters well enough to care about them and #3 there are no real stakes in the KH world because every game you fight the same goddamn enemies. I don't know all the Organization members like the back of my hand so their deaths don't do anything for me plus you fight them at least twice throughout the series (maybe even more) so that shows that they can always come back. The rules and logic in KH are very fast and loose. It's like playing a game with a child and when they are losing they make something up. And all this "I think I should know this character but I don't remember" dialogue is so cheap. Stop with the amnesia story-lines! Games like Chain of Memories and Re-Coded, that are made for portable devices are made to hold fans over until the big main game comes out. Let’s be real, KH: Re-Coded might as well be called “KH: Re-Sell” because it’s KH one all over again but on the DS. Now there’s nothing wrong with a company re-branding and re-selling a product if they know fully-well that there is a market for it (in the words of Cutler Beckett, “it’s just good business”) but for the love of all things good, DO NOT PLACE INTEGRAL plot points in them that the main games will gloss over. And don't expect me to read Jiminy’s Journal! 

Who is this game for? It plays like a casual game but feels like beginning a story at it’s falling action point. I can’t imagine being a newcomer to this series and playing this game and understanding it. I played the game super slowly, exploring each Disney world thoroughly, trying to take it all in but there is so little KH story given throughout the game. Once I moved on to the Badlands, the actual main KH plot began to unfold. When I first started playing KH3, my gf (who has only played a few hours of the first KH) asked me "so why are you going to other worlds if you're not locking keyholes?" I stumbled on my words to give her an answer. I replied "Sora needs to regain his strength and get the power of waking." She nodded but I knew it sounded kind of stupid. "He looks pretty powerful already!" She said as she watched me defeat hordes of enemies in the first world, Olympus. And that was another thing. I felt super overpowered from the beginning all the way up until the end. When fighting Xehanort all I could think was "that's it?" The game is all about Sora regaining his lost powers and learning the power of waking but you start off super powerful anyway. 

This may be a bit of a tangent but in Final Fantasy X, Yuna started off as the weakest, most feeble, docile character in personality and combat as she is just a white mage. I avoided using her at all costs. I had Lulu for black magic and switched Yuna in only when I really needed Protective magic or healing. However, by the end of the game, Yuna with her fully decked out Nirvana staff, third tier white and black magic, double-cast, and ultima became my most valuable and dangerous character. Not only does she literally become stronger in combat, but her (dare I say it) heart becomes stronger too. She becomes bolder and braver. She starts questioning her religion and the society and world she grew up in. She grows in every sense of the word. Yuna’s character trajectory is one of the most poetic I’ve ever seen and experienced in a game and I absolutely love that it’s FELT both in the combat of the game AND the story. I guess the point I’m trying to make is there should be growth in the character’s development but also growth in the game mechanics and combat. FFX is a game that intertwined both forms of growth organically and I think KH3 really should’ve done that as well. Starting off weak and THEN becoming powerful enough to take on the big baddy in the ending rewards the players for their efforts and also feels way more satisfying. Also, a certain character that begins with “K” and ends with “airi” could’ve EASILY been the Yuna of this game. But once again KH3 repeats the same old ideas over and over again. Also, speaking of Final Fantasy, where are my Final Fantasy characters in KH3??

I know this sounds like a negative review but overall, I actually did enjoy playing KH3 and it was great to see all my favs and like I always say, it always feels like home. I'm definitely not done yet (gotta synthesize ultima, collect all treasures and lucky emblems, reach level 99, and maybe play some mini-games). But ultimately it did not have that emotional impact on me like the first 2 KH's. Maybe I AM too old and broken. Maybe when I replay it one day I'll feel differently. Anyway, see you in 2040 when KH4 comes out!

[youniversify]

WEEK 6...?

"To meet this one in all the lifetimes I will be given. In every life, in every chance, in every small opportunity that I will have—let the earth and heavens move so I can see you, meet you, and if it's not too much to ask Fate, I hope I get to love you." - writingcap

In the recent turn of events, this entry is currently optional. To be honest, I was slightly disappointed because I already loaded some possible topics in the entries. Result? This incoherent and self-indulgent rants about the topics I couldn't let go of. Some unfinished. Mostly drabbles because I spitball a lot and my attention span for it barely holds enough—I switch frequently. 

So I made this prompt of two people finding each other over and over again in even in different universes and in different lifetimes because they're soulmates out of whim because my head was swimming with thoughts of this so I manifested into writing it. Although I doubt I'll continue it given that it's farfetched to become a music video (maybe at the greatest, only a school project film), my friends still hyped it. They're wonderful. 

MV IDEA (Ben&Ben's "Araw-Araw")

"Hey."

"Hm?"

"Don't laugh."

"Wala ka pa ngang sinasabi."

"Iiih kasi, my tanong is serious!"

"Ge pagbibigyan kita."

"Naniniwala ka ba sa soulmates?"

Umaga na sa ating duyan 'Wag nang mawawala

"...Like yung multiverse theory eme?"

"Mm-hmm."

"Oo naman."

"Really?"

"Oo ngaaaa. Ang sakin lang, hindi lahat tayo may ganun. May pwedeng dalawa lang sila, may ibang tatlo. Yung iba romantic, iba platonic."

"Ay. Seryoso siya."

"Gago eh malamang seryoso tanong mo 'di ba?"

"'To naman, 'di mabiro. Pero sa tingin mo magkikita sila sa lahat ng universe na 'yun?"

Umaga na sa ating duyan Magmamahal, oh, mahiwaga

-- [CUT TO:]

Their eyes widened. But it followed a retracted confused pair of eyebrows, touch of an unfamiliar thread being prepared. They forget they're not the only ones in the room when someone else interrupts.

"Magkakilala kayo?"

— Parang?                                 — Yes?

The studio lights flicker with anticipation, but neither of them say anything.

[intro instrumental]

Action! The two pretend to bump into each other, the collision of shoulders (albeit choreographed) emitting an unraveling of the thread. Growing familiarity.

They look into each other's eyes, and in them are emotions of...

-- [CUT TO:]

...hatred, envy. Self, why did you agree on letting this damn childhood friend acquaintance stay in their own house again?

Matang magkakilala

"Hanggang ngayon nambabangga ka parin?"

Pota, family friends nga pala magulang namin.

--

Two strangers meet for the first time. "Magkakilala kayo?" And they lose the words they're finding to say.

--

https://youtu.be/5uQLDRlp0xI

I'm actually quite glad I put off watching this when it first released during the week of our Preliminary Examinations, because now I get to marvel at the ingenuity. Extraordinary talent pulsing through the screen. Silent films aren't my cup of tea so going into it, I was doubtful. After watching, I shouldn't have doubted the expression of the 19-year-old dancer and choreographer Sean Lew who wrote, directed, and produced this. I realized I shouldn't be so wary of art that I don't understand fully or those of non-linear stories, seeing other fans' reactions of (albeit it's in our human nature to) breaking down and comprehending the meaning of the scenes. Ika nga, "art—you don't have to understand everything. Mas mahalaga yung nararamdaman mo." And I felt pain, anxiety, turmoil, misery, longing, fear, hope, tranquility, peace, and love. I've been a fan of him since 2018 when I discovered them competing in World of Dance and his partnership with Kaycee Rice—which coincidentally enough, is also the time he started creating this dance film. The juxtaposition of words in each Scene: Peace & War, Harmony & Noise, Give & Take, Hopes & Doubts, Fear & Acceptance; and the choice of music deliberately fit to the abovementioned concepts: Billie Eilish's ocean eyes, Panic! at the Disco's High Hopes, Dermot Kennedy's Glory, etc. And for an experimental film, it has a clear resolution! All of the main character's pursuits of piecing together the puzzle throughout his (what seems to be a coming-of-age) journey actually gives the audience the full picture. He's able to reunite with the one he loves, and though frightened by the possibility of that love leaving again by pushing her away, they eventually get to each other's heads and settle. 

I've been reading audience feedback about how they think it's badass for a character to smoke. Squinting, I read more and learned that herbal cigarettes are what actors use during shooting. Then relieved, I searched deeper. Unfortunately I found out that even though herbal cigs are marketed as safer, they produce tar which is an active agent for causing cancer in regular cigarettes. So, ekis parin sakin if one day I produce any screenwork to have my actors use them. No smokers as characters I guess. I still have to think in special cases though, like if it's more of a plot device than a character stylistic choice. 

So I tried to watch Big Bang Theory with a friend and I just found myself conflicted. Sure, I could make a video analysis essay about misogyny played for laughs and other numerous problematic comedic tropes used throughout the series, but what caught my eye in particular is the character Sheldon Cooper Ph.D., Sc.D. Played by the brilliant Jim Parsons, he's presented as the autistic-coded (that is, not explicitly confirmed by the showrunners nor canonically diagnosed) nerd scientist whose ego is too inflated to make room for tact. Which leads me to my main point: why are stereotypically intelligent fictional characters have low emotional quotient (EQ)? You'd suppose some writers have done research and stumbled upon the IQs and EQs of people. No. Instead, they completely disregard that a person with high regard for the technical sciences wouldn't be kind in the same breath. Realistically, they would value the social sciences because these are what built civilization in the first place and have successfully created and bridged human connection. They would take to heart the value of Psychology as well! 

I discovered this podcast from the online fandom of Gaya sa Pelikula. Remember when I said they're critical thinkers? Well, one of the podcast's hosts sent this article on Parasocial Interaction to one of the lead actors himself. He then replied, grateful, with keeping himself in check as to how he views Karl.     

He did admit in a question from Direk Takes exclusive paid episode that he sometimes doesn't "banlaw" his character Karl Almasen. Banlaw in film context is the act of washing out one's own character by personality traits, attitudes, behavior, and perspective. Common reasons are because (1) playing morally tainted characters can personally affect your mental health, and (2) blurring the lines between that and other types of dangerous characters (abusers, rapists, murderers) could start to take a toll on you and make you fall into the trap of, "Huh. Maybe my character has justifiable points for genocide." In line with this, he says he doesn't banlaw because Karl is inherently this innocent, wide-eyed freshman who sees the good in everyone without malice—says he could use some of that in his real life.     

And that's so valid! He will make you kinder. But because of the fan-suggested article, he took a step back and reevaluated if there should still be a line drawn between him and Karl. In the podcast, we find the answer: Yes. Although Parasocial Interaction is defined as the audience forming a psychological close relationship with those of media personalities, it can still be redefined in the context of the media personality forming a psychological close relationship with his own formed character that may be lead to the constant interaction with his fans, myself included. "Gaya sa Payaso," the aforementioned podcast, tackles this conflict head on as the two main hosts break down situations and discern acceptability. It's an intelligent listen. I am reminded to still create distance between myself and the celebrity, no matter how close we could get. 

https://open.spotify.com/show/7mg92j83PtjmbNnQNWVr8x?si=GMEbSF9TQryQANV3xf6Xqw

Full circle moment: after watching an amazing 3-hour interview about the trials and tribulation of sports (specifically cheer), at 1 am I told Paolo that I wrote about him in my Understanding the Self entries. He responded.

A sight to see: mama and papa sitting outside at a table, eating with my sister. I hand over a slice of chocolate cake from Red Ribbon. She takes it with a full smile, and after I've stood there gaping, she shares a laugh with papa. Though the speakers blare in the garage, the noise is drowned out. 

Mundane. 

Yet unfamiliar. 

Do you ever see your parents' mortality hang over their head? Today, I did.

“Makikiisa tayo sa rebolusyong atin. Uuwi’t uuwian.” - Atria Pacaña