#but now i cannot speak a whole lot due to sore throat... i just came out of sickness too... tragedy really. pity me

[aesthbaby]

Attention

Summary: Emily is in love with you, an agent from another division. What will happen when you’re involved in a case?

Pairings: Emily Prentiss x Plus size reader

Request: right here I’m going to be writing this request twice because this is the female reader version and I wanna be inclusive so I’ll write a gender neutral one too. This is only PART ONE. Part two should be out on either the 11th or 12th

Warnings: Cursing | Mild descriptions of a fictional case

Wordcount:1k

Masterlist

“Agent y/l/n will be presenting the case.” Agent Hotchner announces while walking into the conference room. You glance over to your girlfriend but say nothing since the team doesn’t know you’re dating. (Or that she’s gay.)

You quickly glance over to Penelope. “Sorry Pen.”

“You’re fine. Guess I’ll have to learn how to share at some point.” She smiles up at you while patting your arm. You flinch at it for some unknown reason. That was weird.

“Agent y/l/n is on loan to us from the Arts and Communication division. Some of you may know them from the times our cases crossed. Today, they’re here to assist us on our latest hate crime case.” He nods for you to start.

“So far we have five female victims from age 21 to 40. Cause of death is a  poison called Strychnine. Delivery method has drastically varied.” You click a button on the remote and images of the deceased appear. “The local M.E. determined Jenna Marshall, 24, had the chemical laced in her food. Second victim, 32 year old Maria Nino, absorbed it through her skin. Same for our third victim  Alexandra Cordon, age 27. Our fourth victim, 40 year old Kelly Jones, had it injected directly into her blood stream.” 

The young doctor of the room interrupts you. “Injected?”

“Yes Doctor, Injected.” You put another image on screen. “She was a high functioning heroin addict; somehow the unsub got it into her stash.”

“High functioning?” That came from the darker Agent whom you’ve only met once.

“Yes. Miss Jones was a Criminal Defense Attorney with a 63% success rate.”

“What were the occupations of the other victims?” JJ, the blonde mom asks.

“Marshall was head chef at the four star restaurant Sundial. Mrs. Nino was a dentist at Shrinner Dental, Cordon was a freelance I.T. specialist, and our fifth victim, Debe Oxe was a Flight Engineer.”

“All high paying jobs...” Agent Rossi trails.

“Could money have been the motive here?” Morgan brainstorms.

“I thought the same thing until...” You scroll to the full length pictures of the women. “I realized that they all have the same body type. That’s where the Hate Crime part comes in.” As a dull silence fills the room you realize that they’re no longer looking at the screens. “Is something wrong?”

“Y/l/n,” Emily starts. “They all look like you.”

You let out a short laugh at that. “No they don’t.”

Everyone just looks at you funny. Then Morgan speaks up, “Similar hair color, same eye color, and not to mention body type.”

“No. Victim number two has lighter hair.”

“But only by a shade or two.” Jareau adds.

“Like Morgan said, its the eye color too.” Penelope contributes. “Can’t deny that.”

“There’s seven billion people in the world. A lot of people have my eye color.” Agent Hotchner is shockingly silent during this whole ordeal. 

“Actually its 7.8 billion.” Reid corrects you.

Derek looks like he wants to say something so you quickly interject. “Agent Morgan, all due respect, if you say me and the rest of the victims have the same shape, I will take offence.” You were joking of course, but he doesn’t know that.

“No no I wasn’t saying that.” He stutters.

Emily says something but everything’s all jumbled. Like your head is underwater.

“Y/l/n.” Hotchner calls your name firmly.

It scared you for some reason. Then your jaw felt kind of tight so you barley choke out a, “Yes--sir?”

“What do you think about Agent Morgan’s theory?”

What do I think? I think he’s a total douche for calling me fat. Shit...what’s wrong with me? He didn’t even say that. “It was highly suggestive of him to propose that the victims resemble me.” Everyone is still looking to you to respond like you didn’t actually say anything. Then it dawns on you, you didn’t. You just said that stuff in your head. Shit, the symptoms.

Your jaw is so tight and the back of your neck is starting to ache. Its getting harder to breathe. “I don’t-” You reach around to the back of your head and rub it gently. Muscle pain and soreness.

You can hear Reid’s voice in the distance but you’re not comprehending anything. Agitation.

Penelope’s arguing with Morgan about something. Apprehension or fear.

Hotchner is attentively listening to their consultations. Ability to be easily startled.

Jareau is flipping through the case file while talking to Rossi. Jaw tightness.

 You hear your name being called but its like you can’t respond. Then you see Em staring at you. You suddenly feel everything crashing down on you at once. Your stomach is doing something funny and now your throat feels like its burning. That wasn’t one of the symptoms. Its not the same feeling as burning but more like cold. I’m not even making sense anymore. You’re scared, something doesn’t feel right. Fear. You keep repeating the symptoms in your head, hoping you’re missing a few and that this cannot be happening to you. You pop an eye open and see that the agents are still talking. You’re trying to call for help but its like the wind has been knocked out of you. Difficulty Breathing.

“I-” As soon as you can choke something out you feel something rising in your throat. You double over in pain and watch as your insides tumble out. All you see is red, feeling bad for whoever has to clean this up. I should do it, shouldn’t I? It feels like your entire body is giving up on you, your head isn’t working right, and you overall feel like complete shit. When you open your eyes again you spot Emily’s shoes running towards you. You look back at the floor, clutching your abdomen. Is that my blood?

Everything goes black.

*･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･**･゜ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･'･*:.｡. .｡.:*･゜ﾟ･*˚✧₊⁎ ⁎⁺˳✧༚ ﾟ･*:.｡..｡.:*･ﾟ･*:.

Taglist  (Like my Emily taglist to be added, or you can send me an Ask located in the top right corner of my profile. You can also ask to be removed if you’d like)

@iamyouknow-yours @mortallythoughtfulgurl @spencerreidistoocute @andreaxxg13 @vivianabakshani @garcias-batcave @davidrossiismydad @ssacandi-ass-prentiss @criminalmindsmoodrn @miidguardian-exe @thestrawberrygirl @lisztomaniacalice @aaron-hotchner187 @fanfictionfangirl04 @mys2425​ @afuckingshituniverse @nomit16 @rabid-wild-misfits @justaghostmonument @ millipop18 @supercorp8388 @groovygoob @emilyprentisswife @thiscovetedcoven Some of these don’t work anymore so i have to update the list again : (

[shibereshu]

Hello there, I hope you're well :)) I was wondering if I could request a story with RAVN, an AU where the reader is an idol who debuted in another group. They were close friends from a previous company they trained in, parted ways, and have reunited again to perform a special stage with Trouble Maker (by Troublemaker) :O I hope that's alright with you, thank you! :))

Thank you for requesting!! I rewrote this a few times since I wasn’t entirely satisfied with how it was turning out *sighs* but I finally managed to write something that I thought you might enjoy, so I hope you do! I tried to make it gender neutral so that any reader can feel comfortable reading it !! (Also, watching the Trouble Maker stage again brought me great memories, so thank you for that

We’ve received many great requests lately that we’re working on, so if you requested something, thank you very much! As always our requests are still open! the groups we write for are in our bio and here are some prompt lists that can help you come up with a request!

Troublemaker - Kim Youngjo

“And six, seven, eight. Give me one, two, and three and four...”

Sweat dripped from your forehead, but you gave your best and followed the voice of your group leader while focusing on making your moves as wide and precise as possible. The fast beat of the song made your adrenaline rush, but the moment the song ended you couldn’t help but let your body fall on the floor, just like your fellow group mates did, and sigh in relief. You were so tired; you didn’t think you could have lasted much longer on your feet.

  “Okay guys! Great job today!” You all clapped and cheered, and your leader brought two boxes full of ramyeon cups and ice cream so that you could eat something and regain some energy before leaving to the dorm.

“Woah… we looked so cool right now. I wish we could come back right now… I don’t understand why we must wait any longer, we could do the whole choreography with our eyes closed! We’ve been practicing for so long…” One of your peers complained while waiting for the food to cool down.

“I guess they are planning to release something else before our comeback, so they don’t want that to sift the focus away from our new album. I’m sure it’s for our sake, so don’t worry about it.” The leader answered.

All of you nodded in response, agreeing with those words and feeling much more relieved.

"Also! Have you guys heard about that new show where they-“

Your friend was interrupted by your manager, who suddenly entered the training room with a huge smile filling his face.

 “Hello! Did practice go well?” All of the members, including you, stretched your backs and sat properly while greeting him, “Ohh, you are eating! Please, continue doing so and don’t mind me. I just wanted to say that we have big news, so, if you could come to my office when you are done so that we can discuss that, it would be great. Now, enjoy your meal.”

“Thank you, mister.” You quickly finished the food and followed the rest of the members to the manager’s office, where he was sitting down between the main producer of the company and the CEO, who immediately stood up to greet you as he saw you coming into the room.

“Oh, you are here already, hello, hello.” He gestured towards the chairs they’d prepared for you, and all of you nervously sat down, glancing between the manager and the CEO, not knowing what to expect.

The CEO cleared his throat and kept speaking, “So… I heard the preparation for your next come back is going great! I’m proud of all of you. I’m sure by now you must be wondering why we have delayed the release of the new songs so much… That’s the reason we told you to come here. We have something to announce.” He shifted his sight to your manager, who took the floor from there.

 “Well… the thing is, we are organizing a concert where you will be able to premiere your new song, kind of like a huge live spoiler, with a special stage that will hopefully increase your popularity while arousing great expectation and buzz about the new album.”

You looked and the rest of your members, who all shared bright smiles and sights filled with hope and excitement.

“A special stage! But… what will it be like?” One of your friends asked, clapping with joy.

“We cannot tell you the details yet… But one of you will collaborate with a member from a popular boy group. This time, we can only choose one member, but we hope that does not lead no any time of jealousy or hatred between members. We promise to bring you more opportunities like this one in the future, so that every one of you can have their own special stage.”

The members all nodded and smiled, not giving much importance to it, “It’s okay, we are grateful for the opportunity, no matter who goes on the stage, we will all be cheering for them.”

“But, which boy group is it?”

This time, it was the general producer who spoke, “we can’t say it yet, since we will sign the papers tomorrow morning, but I have worked with them before, and I assure you, you won’t be disappointed.”

The manager smiled and spoke up as well, “We will also announce the person who will go on the stage tomorrow, after lunch. That was everything we wanted to tell you, so please go and rest now, and we will see each other tomorrow.”

Your friends kept trying to guess which boy group it would be on your way to the dorm, but you didn’t think much about it, although… you couldn’t help but wonder… what if the group was…? No, there’s no way… You thought, shaking your head and trying to think about something else.

Finally home, you threw yourself on your bed and picked up a box of snacks to munch on while you waited for your mates to take a shower before you could do so yourself. You were reading a news article on your phone when it buzzed on your hand, signaling that you’d received a new message.

Kim Youngjo [23:14]: hey (y/n), home already?

It was Kim Youngjo, also known as Ravn, his stage name. Ravn and you knew each other for more than six years, since you had been trainees at the same company before. He changed companies and debuted with a boy group called Oneus, which was popular all over the country, and you also changed companies less than a month after he did and managed to debut with your own group. Sadly, you didn’t hang out together anymore, due to your busy schedules and fear of the nasty comments some people might make. Still, you texted each other pretty often, and you considered him one of your closest friends.

You sent him a picture of yourself, holding a snack in front of the camera and delivering him a wink. You knew he would still be in his company building, and you liked to tease him showing how comfortable you were on your bed, enjoying snacks while he still had to train. You would never do that to anyone else, but with him, it was kind of a private joke by now. He would always respond with another picture of himself, and this time it was him showing off his recently dyed greenish hair, drenched in sweat. He looked as if he was trying to frown, to show how annoying your picture was, but his smile proved he was not mad at all.

Kim Youngjo [23:16]: We are almost done for today… I’m craving snacks now!!

You kept chatting for a bit longer, until you heard your friends calling you and had to say goodbye to him. You were really happy for him, and obviously also for yourself, since you had been able to debut in a wonderful group which was loved by many incredible people. But still, some part of you wished you had more freedom, and could meet your friend and spend as much time with him as you used to…

You took the shower you needed after a long day of hard work, and while the warm drops of water ran down your skin and soothed your sore muscles, a wild thought came to your mind. It would be wonderful… if someday I had the opportunity to share the stage with him…

The next day started just like any other. You went to the main building, where you trained for hours until you had your lunch break and then went back to training. However, as you were on your way back to the dancing room, you heard your manager calling out your name.

“(y/n)! Did you eat already?” He rushed towards you, and you stopped walking and bowed at him politely.

“Yes sir! I was on my way back to practice.”

“Great! Follow me, please, I need to talk to you.” He turned his back at you and walked into his office, and you followed his instructions.

You felt your insides turn, even though you couldn’t think of anything that you’d done wrong. But if it wasn’t because of that, why would he be calling you to his office? Did he want you to advise him on which member to choose for the special stage? That might be it… If he asks me, I should go for our leader, shouldn’t I? they have worked so hard for this comeback… but what about our main dancer? I should ask him first if he’s looking for a dancer or a singer… Or could it be our rapper?

“…so after he comes you will have to start practicing the song together, but I know you will learn the choreography very fast, so it won’t be a problem. Ehm… (y/n)? Are you listening to me?”

You had zoomed out, so you had no idea what he was talking about, “Sorry, mister! I zoomed out for a moment… Could you… repeat that?”

He sighed and shook his head, rolling his eyes as he did so, “I swear young people nowadays never have their head where it should be. I said you were chosen for the stage, so take your things and wait for the other idol so that you can go to the practice room together.”

“I was… what? The special stage? Wait…” You kept stuttering and mumbling, trying to make sense of what he’d told you.

A knock was heard on the door, and a producer from the company came in, “Mister, could I talk to you for a moment? We need your opinion on this new idea…”

“Yeah, sure! We just finished here. (y/n), thank you for your time, he will be here very soon, so don’t worry, you have a lot of time to practice together. Okay sir, let me hear that idea…”

You left the room, confused about what just happened, and decided to head to the restroom before doing anything else. Once you’d finished there and had splashed cold water on your face, which made you feel a bit more confident about the whole thing, you went back to the lobby, where you ran into a familiar person.

You froze, looking at the boy who stood in front of you, taking in his dark brown eyes and the green spikes that covered his bangs.

“Young… Youngjo? What the hell are you doing here?!” Your old friend expression changed into a surprised one and his huge smile made him squint his eyes.

“(y/n)! I wanted to give you a surprise, that’s what I didn’t tell you I was coming to your company!” He laughed and pulled you into his arms, “It’s so good to see you again!”

You let your hands rest on his back and let yourself enjoy his embrace for a moment, “I missed you, Ravn”

He laughed, not used to you calling him by his stage name.

“So, which one’s the way to the practice room?”

“The… the practice room?”

“Of course! We have a stage to prepare for, don’t we?”

A thousand thoughts crossed your mind at that moment. You pushed him away with shock and looked straight into his eyes, “Are you… are we doing the stage together?”

“What? You don’t want to? I already practiced my part of the choreography… and I feel confident to say anyone would like to take your spot.” He smirked and rested his hands on your hips, “But I want you to be the one. Let’s make trouble together.”

You both ran into the practice room, laughing and dancing around. You flashed your hips at him while he showed you his part and sang the chorus of the song. And at that moment, you realized, that was all you’d ever wanted.

The day of the performance, the crowd went crazy. You had great chemistry, and it showed. Youngjo and you danced in perfect synchronization, his hands resting on your boding as if that was where they belonged. Every time his face was in front of yours, he would wink at you, and there was no trace of awkwardness, since you felt the most comfortable around each other. The fans went crazy when your hands travelled down his torso, and then again when he had his solo dance break, which you observed with pride. The song came to an end, and Youngjo took your hands into his and gave you the most heart-warming smile you’d ever seen. It had been a total success, and everyone loved it so much, they kept asking for more.

You’d thought you would never be able to go on the stage with him. But there you were, and, you had to admit, you were a killing duo.

[yridenergyridenergy]

Dir en grey - Otaru Goldstone 2019/09/29 [Day 2] live report

1. Downfall

2. Devote My Life

3. Merciless Cult

4. Ningen wo kaburu

5. Keibetsu to Hajimari

6. Aka

7. Zetsuentai

8. Celebrate Empty Howls

9. Keigaku no yoku

10. Rubbish Heap

11. Values of Madness

12. Ranunculus

13. The World of Mercy

Encore

1. Hydra 666

2. Kigan

3. Followers

4. NEW AGE CULTURE

5. Utafumi

Man Dir en grey hit us like a brick thrown to the face in this second night. The songs were all heavy and intense until maybe Aka, Kyo had jumped on his crate and was headbanging already at the first song. Hell, he was wearing a full business suit again, all black with plastic-y labels in the back of the neck of both shirts, and he clearly sweated a lot. He struggled to unbutton his vest with his left hand.

After the first three songs, there was finally a break to switch the guitars. Kyo went to the back near Shinya, but then left the stage. The tech on the side was speaking either with him or with Die, but Kyo returned and lit up a cigarette, the only one he had all night.

Eventually it got real hot and Kyo loosened his black tie, then roughly unclipped it and let it fall somewhere to his left, which a roadie hurried to go retrieve before anything happened to it.

It seemed to help the whole band to start with very rapid songs, like it got some frustration out of the way. Aka was less dramatic, even though Kyo did carefully fit his mic cord around his neck after forming a loop with it, and even got two layers of it around his neck the second time, attentively adjusting on the right and on the left, and he seemed so content, like in heaven, jubilating at the end of the song with that string around his neck. Now there's no question left in my mind about what the intent is with "Spring, let me go/leave me".

There was something very particular about Keibetsu to Hajimari but I forgot what hahah. I think perhaps heavy headbanging from Kyo? There was literally a time at the end of one song where he was headbanging at least at twice the tempo as the actual song's rhythm hah. But in one of those first few songs, Kyo really moved like a jerky pantomime a lot and the crazy face was omnipresent.

In one song, I also cannot remember which, he totally started one of the strophs too early and basically could not even catch himself and delay the end of those two verses.

For Rubbish Heap, Kyo was on his crate this time atbthe beginning and he again signaled to form a fist and raise it, but holy hell the crowd was >95% just open hands!

I feel like Keigaku no yoku was really the special song of the night. Kyo started it with moves of imploring something from above, pulling it toward him. He then seemed to have forgotten to start singing, but he surprised us by singing almost entirely new lyrics. I cannot remember exact moves anymore throughout the song as I was trying and failing to pick up the different lyrics, but overall in this concert he made a lot of the mad, mad facial expressions like around dead tree in the mode of Withering to death. DVD. I think that there was one scream after the more intense segments of Keigaku no yoku that he really prolonged.

I confirm that he adds "Hayaku shine" (quick, die) at the end of that last (modified) sentence in Keigaku no yoku. One less mystery, yeah!

Kyo was really on point in general vocally tonight, even though there were still auditive discrepancies, the guitars ringing so damn loudly, notably. And yet, this time around we actually saw the roadies check the instruments on stage before the show. All for nothing.

As much as Keigaku no yoku stole a spotlight, Kyo very clearly brought The World of Mercy to life again today. He transitioned from Ranunculus to it repeating over and over 'Mochiron, watashi wa modoshi(?)'. Basically, "Of course. I'm back." I believe he was holding his head with his right arm too while saying that. He then proceeded to claw or bite at his left sleeve around the time he sang about the very very beautiful flower, and through his sleeve, bit his wrist for real three times over a couple of minutes. Then, in one of the 'pauses' for him in that song, he mimed that something dropped from his wrist onto his other palm, then he wiped the 'substance' with one of his fingers and brought it to his mouth to lick, apparently finding it very exhilarating. Where have I- oh fuck, one of my favourite movies, Annihilation, has the scars from self-harm becoming the source of growth from flowers and plants from inside the person's body. I wonder... But the move with the lyrics and the completion of the visual story really hinted at the blood from cutting his wrist being like a splendid flower, a type of onctuous honey even.

I noticed that while he moves his left arm in a circle during the 'yuugi' series, he also gyrates his hips~ I cannot remember which song, but he was singing about his real self so it might have been The World of Mercy, and apparently his self involved being rather sexy due to his moves and brushing his hair back and all.

In The World of Mercy, I think that it was the first 'kusaro'/rot that he prolonged extensively and intensely.

Oh and he scratched at his throat but mostly his chest during one of the last songs of the main setlist.

Back for the encore, Kyo came out late wearing a mask for Hydra 666. I had never seen it myself, but it reminds me of the colours and lines of the mask he had in the latest BURRN magazine, except that it is not composed of cutouts of mouths and eyes. Personally, I could actually not figure out how he could see or speak through it, because there did not seem to be holes. Near the end of the song, he slid his mask upward and blinked but waited a while with a sort of expression like he was waiting for our approval, our cheers. But we had cheered the moment he stepped back on stage anyway hahah. He then threw the mask not too carefully toward Shinya's drums while remaining on his crate. I get the impression that he at least became aware that the stage was low and/or that most fans could not see him unless he was standing.on the crate, so he was there most of the time.

During Kigan I guess, Kyo very much caressed the side of his crotch.

The way he prepares himself for that 'Sore ga watashi, kono watashi' part in Followers is so moving, clutching at his chest so dearly.

New Age Culture is intense, so heavy. There was one song near the end, perhaps that, where all but Kyo and Kaoru were focused around Shinya.

Kyo stayed slightly longer than yesterday at the end, encouraging us to clap and doing so himself too. Leaving with the traditional 'Bye bye' and half-beaming face.

Other than that, Kaoru was wearing a sort of loose bowtie, a white dress shirt and a black vest, as well as sarouel pants or a long skirt?

I was on Die's side today to avoid the shimote conflicts and people seemed slightly shorter there. That man really gives the impression that he is just there to look handsome, stare seriously (sexily?), lift his eyebrow occasionally, receive wind in his hair eternally and make his job seem super easy. There are just some moments in Ranunculus, I think, in which he headbangs and is the only person intensely moving along with Kyo on stage at that time. He seemed content enough throughout the show. At the end, he threw a water bottle and a pick too high and they caught onto the lights above the stage and he looked apologetic when he realised that had happened. He went back to fetch more picks to throw than usual. But it's a consensus that he became skinnier than he already was. Man, with Kyo cutting the insides of his mouth recently, Toshiya being off and stopping his interactions with the crowd until yesterday, and Die losing weight that he did not have in extra --- are they doing OK?

[jiminscaramel]

au: 4 , trope : 2 , prompt : 20, 26 with jooheon from monsta x please💗

AU: 4. Mafia | Trope: 2. Enemies to lovers | Prompt: 20. “it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you.” & 26. “sometimes, i sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different.”

I got a lot little carried away and it’s become longer than a drabble. This was really self indulgent. I tried to convey the e2l dynamic as best as I could, I hope you like!

For as long as you remember, you’ve never had any freedom. Not any real freedom, at least. Everywhere you go, someone accompanied you and although it’s supposedly for your own good, you can’t help but feel it’s more of a hinderance.

They came and went and some lasted longer than others, either dying in your place or simply resigning due to fear. You’ve lost count of the attempts on your life, preferring to distance and emotionally detach yourself from the death toll that seemed to loom over your head like a stubborn cloud you can’t shake off.

You were nineteen when when your father – the most feared leader of the country’s infamous organised crime group – assigned you another security personnel. You’d thought nothing of him, the same as all the ones before him, only he seemed a little young for the job.

You learned he was the son of your father’s close friend, looking to make a quick buck and gain valuable experience to impress his father. And although you hate to admit it, even now, there was a lot to be impressed with.

His eyes were not only cold but calculating also, able to read beyond the surface of what they see. He never smiled, seldom talked and trying to see him as anything other than a machine was nearly impossible. He simply didn’t exude emotion.

He’ll be gone soon, you’d thought dismissively. The bet was on how long he would last.

You were twenty when Jooheon received his initiation tattoo – a cross beneath the corner of his right eye – establishing his permanent role in the family. And to this day, you still cannot explain the feeling of pure anger that simmered in your throat when you found out. Perhaps you’d grown bored of him, you’d wanted a new face to look at; or perhaps it was down to the deeper meaning behind his staying.

You’d considered yourself an adult, no longer needing nor wanting any protection from anyone. You wanted to be free; you wanted to walk down the street without counting your steps, without seeing him hover in eyesight; you wanted to spend your vacation time relaxing on a beach without the sore sight of him lingering close by, straight-faced and serious. Hell, you just wanted to pee without someone listening in on the other side of the door.

You wanted to be alone.

And so the anger manifested itself within you, morphing into an acrid resentment that never seemed to go away. You began to test his boundaries in different ways, trying to find his breaking point so that he may snap and hopefully be replaced by someone else.

But not once did he crack.

You were twenty-one when Jooheon realised he was madly in love with you and twenty-two when he realised it could never work. For one thing, the feelings were absolutely not reciprocated, that he knew for sure.

He’s known you long enough to know, that if you had an inkling of feeling towards him, you would’ve acted upon them long ago. He sees the looks of undeniable distain, he hears the exasperation in your voice when you speak to him and even hears the things you say about him to your father.

But for all the stoic exterior and steel heart, a very soft boy lies beneath, subdued and hidden in the depths of his facade. He feels just as deeply as you, loves just as fiercely and he knows he would do anything to protect your life.

Perhaps that’s why it hurts so much.

A taught sigh of absolute boredom whooshes past your lips, your hands working the hangers on the clothing rails. You dismiss each garment as if it’s worth less than the dirt on your shoe, unimpressed.

With so much money at hand and too much time to spend, you often find yourself running out of ideas. You find that you frequent the same bars and strip clubs, the same shops, the same hotels. The world is your oyster yet you never expected it to be so small.

You fish out your card from your purse and hand it over to Jooheon, who’s never more than two feet away from you. “Here, Jooheon. Buy yourself something.”

He stares blankly at the plastic in your hand and firmly shakes his head no. “No thank you.”

“Oh come on, Honey,” you roll your eyes, but watch carefully as his jaw twitches at the nickname. You smirk a small smile of victory, loving when his exterior begins to show signs of weakness.

Little do you know, the name you assume he hates is actually one of the things he loves about you. You always load it with sarcasm and contempt but it’s something at least.

“Don’t be such a do-gooder. Just buy yourself something. It’s not to my taste anyway.” You pull out a toffee-coloured, loose-fitting turtleneck and hold it up against him, humming in satisfaction. “Not bad.”

You thrust it against his chest for him to hold before trailing through the rest of the clothes, picking out new outfits.

He watches in awe as you’re fuelled with passion and purpose, working hard to find a style that suits him best. He admires you in all your splendour, staring at the soft curve of your jaw, the delicate hills of your Cupid’s bow as you ramble on.

His heart swells something stupid, inflating and expanding until all that’s left of him is left bare and exposed to you. His breathing quickens and his voice gets trapped in his throat.

He manages to call your name, a soft sound, almost a whimper.

You turn around, surprised and piqued more than anything but the way your face changes...

You notice his eyes first; round and wide, sincere and open but above all else you notice a subtle undertone of sadness. It’s like he’s granted you access to a tightly guarded vault, revealing all sorts of forbidden secrets inside. His cheeks flush, red like cherries.

It’s the most emotion you’ve ever seen him wear and to be quite honest, you haven’t the first clue on how to process it.

“Don’t look at me like that,” you scoff, your own heart working double time. “You’re creeping me out.”

Though you can’t explain the strange flutter, the unexpected beat your heart seems to so easily skip.

“I’m sorry,” he rushes immediately, clutching the assorted clothes tighter to his chest. You notice his knuckles turn white. “It’s just...”

Jooheon struggles to find the right words. He can beat a man black and blue, dodge fists and bullets, execute in cold blood yet he cannot form the right words to confess to the girl he loves so. The irony almost makes him laugh aloud.

“Spit it out, I don’t have all day,” though there’s less bite and venom to your voice, your tone cautious and curious instead. You feign interest in the shelf in front of you, pretending to rummage through the items, but your attention is solely fixed on Jooheon and his sudden display of emotion.

“I don’t know– I don’t know how to say it. I– it’s a mix of things that– I need to explain–” he trips over each and every syllable, dying a little more inside at the shambles. But it’s too late to stop now.

He continues to stare at your profile, completely high off your beauty and grace, despite how you regard him. But for all the sharp replies and short quips you constantly throw his way, he sees, that just like him, behind a hard exterior, there’s a soft side to you that’s begging to be let out.

“I just... God, I just love you.” The words sound messy and clumsy, hastily thrown together and spat out to resemble a sentence. He’s mortified and if the ground could open up and swallow him whole right this moment, he wouldn’t say no.

“I beg your pardon?”

“I love you.” But the second time is much easier and a great burden seems to have lifted from his shoulders.

You simply blink back in pure astonishment, lacking a witty retort or sassy clapback. He’d said it twice, yet you still question whether you’d heard him right.

“Are you sick?” You blurt out, absently wondering whether his strange behaviour is down to a bad fever. “Do we need to go home?”

He shakes his head and steps closer. You step back. “I know you can’t stand me, you think I don’t like you either but it couldn’t be farther from the truth. I... I adore you.”

“If this is a joke, it isn’t funny.” You frown and try to keep the oncoming tears at bay, swallowing them down.

“I’m not joking. I think... I think you’re the most beautiful, wonderful, kind and compassionate girl I’ve ever met. And... I know you hate having me around, I know you do but I would give my life to protect you. Spending every minute of every day of every year together... it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you. Sometimes,” he pauses to gather his thoughts, watching your bottom lip quiver. “Sometimes, I sit in bed and wonder what would happen if things were different. If I was like you. Would you still hate me then?”

And of course the question is rhetoric but he’s surprised to see you shake your head in answer, your jaw clenching in an effort to staunch the tears. “I don’t hate you.” You startle yourself with how steady your voice sounds despite being on the brink of tears. “I hate the idea of you.”

It’s something Jooheon has already worked out for himself but hearing you confide in him like this makes his heart soar.

You shake your head again, jumbling the thoughts up in your mind, and clear your throat. “I want you to resign.”

The words hit him harder than a truck, his face falling in dismay. And just when he thought he’d gotten through to you. “You– you want me to quit?”

You nod and shove more clothes into his hands, your face unreadable. “I want you to hand in your resignation letter first thing in the morning.”

“Why?”

“I think... I think we need to get to know each other better. And we can’t do that if you’re constantly watching over me. Leave that to someone else.” A small smile paints the corners of your mouth and Jooheon lets out a breath of relief.

“I don’t think your father will be too pleased to know I quit my job just to spend leisure time with his daughter.” He sounds worried and you try not to laugh.

“He has a soft spot for you.” But you don’t elaborate, instead dumping more clothes into his arms. “Right. Go and try those on. I’m sick of seeing you in that suit.”

And although it’s quite the unorthodox confession, you can’t help but feel the promise of better things on the horizon.

send me a combo from this list and I’ll write a drabble

[jrubalcaba]

Precious Cargo Ch. 14 - The Big News

Precious Cargo Chapter 14 - The Big News

author: jrubalcaba

featuring: OFC Guinevere “Gwen” Adams x Bucky Barnes

word count: 1783 words

rating: PG

warnings: Feels galore

A/N:  @avenger-nerd-mom is the best beta ever!

At first there was darkness everywhere, but after a while I could sense bright lights. I could feel something cold in my right hand and something tight wrapped around my left arm. I could hear beeping and someone nearby was breathing deeply, almost like they were asleep. I opened my eyes slowly, taking in my surroundings. I was in the medical wing of the tower. I looked to my left and could see the heart monitor, tracking my vital signs, a blood pressure cuff just above my elbow. A sigh from my right startled me. I snapped my head around and saw him. Bucky. He must have been here a while, because he was still in the clothes he was wearing the day we left. He was asleep, his metal hand holding my right. I squeezed his hand, hoping to wake him up, and it worked.

“Wha-Gwen! Oh I'm so glad you're awake! Everyone's been worried,” he gushed, leaning forward to brush my hair back from my face. I gave him a small smile. “You need anything? Water? Trip to the bathroom? Food? Tell me and I'll get it for you.” Geez. He's not normally this attentive, even when we were together.

“Water,” I rasped, my throat dry. Bucky sprang up and ran to the sink, filling up a cup with water before bringing it back to me and tilting it up ever so slightly so I could take a sip. Oh my god it tasted so good. “Thank you.  Can you let my doctor know I'm awake?” I asked. He left the room without a second glance. Wow. I need to remember how to do that. The door opened and Dr. Cho walked in, Bucky on her tail. 

“Miss Adams, so glad you're awake. You lost quite a bit of blood back there. A couple of the bullets went straight through,” Helen informed me. Well, son of a bitch! No wonder I went out so fast. She wasn't done with her assessment though. “There was a bit of a problem, due to your underlying condition, but everything has been checked out and you're going to be making a full recovery.” 

Underlying condition? WTF? Bucky was in the same boat as me, as he had a perplexed look on his face.

“Underlying condition? What does that mean? Is something wrong with her?” He questioned. She looked at him with an apologetic face before answering. “Sorry Sergeant Barnes, but seeing as you're not my patient’s next of kin, I cannot discuss anything with you unless she tells me otherwise, in writing.” Helen smiled, clearly dismissing him. Bucky walked out of the room like a puppy with its tail between its legs. As soon as the door was shut, she rounded on me. 

“So, I need to tell you this because I'm sure that he's going to notify the team that you're awake, and that means we have a few moments before we're interrupted.” She paused, checking to make sure he wasn't listening, before coming back to sit next to me. “Your underlying condition? You're pregnant. 9 weeks along and confirmed by ultrasound and blood work,” she stated. 

Pregnant? Me? There has to be a mistake. Bucky couldn’t have kids. Unless HYDRA lied to him, which given their history, it’s entirely plausible. He’s the only guy I’ve ever been with, and he never used condoms while we were together. Holy fuck! I'm pregnant! 

“I can see that this is a surprise to you. Normally, the kind of trauma that you've experienced could have caused you to miscarry, but, and I'm thinking I'm correct in this, but the fetus is half super-Soldier, so it's still viable.” Helen squeezed my hand and gave me a sad smile. “I know it's a lot to take in, but you need to rest and recuperate,” she insisted, patting my hand. “It's not just you anymore-” she was cut off as the door opened and Wanda, Steve and Natasha filed in. Wanda got to me first, embracing me in a tight hug. 

“I'm so glad you're ok! I've missed you so much!” She exclaimed. The other two gave me a smile and a nod before I realized that no one else was coming in. 

“Where's Barnes and the rest of the team?” I murmured, my throat still sore. They all looked at each other before Steve stepped forward. 

“He's more than likely taking a shower, getting some clean clothes, and eating. He came in with you and hasn't left your side since. He wanted to be here when you woke up,” the captain explained. Oh. Well, that's...sweet. “The rest of the team is waiting for you.” 

In my fuzzy brain, I begin to process things.  “How long have I been out?” 

“You've been out for a day and a half. Dr. Cho said that you have some issue that no one knew about, so she wanted to monitor you to make sure nothing was wrong,” Wanda answered my thought out loud.

“Oh. Well, ok then. Dr. Cho, when can I leave?” I asked. She smiled knowingly at me, because it's a well-known fact that I cannot stand being the center of attention, medical or otherwise. She really is an amazing doctor.

“Let me go fetch your discharge papers, then I can come unhook you from the machine,” she replied. Natasha suddenly produced some clothes from behind her back. 

“I figured you'd want some of your own clothes to wear instead of scrubs,” she stated, shrugging. I nodded, flashing a grateful smile her way. Dr. Cho returned, placing some paperwork on my lap before leaning over me to begin unhooking the leads to the machine. 

“No one knows. Your secret is protected by doctor-patient confidentiality,” she whispered in my ear. I peered at her out of the corner of my eye before she spoke louder. “You will need to relax. Your left arm will need to stay in a sling for a couple days. No extra curricular activities, do you understand?” I nodded my head, catching her eyes to ensure that I was replying to both statements. Everyone left so Dr. Cho could help me get dressed. 

Once I had my own clothes on, albeit significantly tighter, I was in the elevator, heading up to the living quarters. When the doors opened, there was a chorus of “WELCOME HOME!” The whole team was standing under a banner that read ‘WELCOME HOME GWEN’. I smiled as they took turns hugging me until I noticed that Bucky had joined them. His hair was still damp from his shower and he had clean clothes on. He walked forward, holding an envelope out to me. 

“Hey. Um, so Elliott and Zoey’s parents didn't get to meet you or anything, so they gave me this to give to you,” he said, nodding at the envelope and handing it to me. “Oh, before you ask, both of them are fine. Not a scratch, bruise, or hair out of place. They were really scared that you were gonna die though.” He rocked back on his heels, looking sad. His phone suddenly went off, and as he pulled it out, Sam looked over at it and whistled. 

“Damn dude. Where'd you find her?” He asked, jealous. Bucky looked over at him with his best ‘eat shit and die’ look and shoved the phone back in his pocket, his eyes straying over to me for a split second. 

“Forget about it. Let's celebrate Gwen being home, alright?” he offered, changing the subject, but I wasn't gonna let him off that easy.

“Sam, was it a blonde woman with dark eyes?” I may have been talking to him, but my eyes never left Bucky's face, so I saw the guilty look pass over him before Sam confirmed my suspicion. 

“Yeah it was. She, uh, didn't have any clothes on,” he replied, a blush dusting his cheeks. Fan-fucking-tastic. First Bucky brought her home to do god knows what, now she's sending him dirty pictures. Unbelievable.

“Great. You know, I appreciate the thought of celebrating and all, but I'm starving and I would love to just order some pizza and relax,” I suggested. Everyone could feel the tension between Bucky and I but I could tell they weren't going to push the issue since I had just come out of the hospital and didn't need anymore stress. 

“Alright,” Tony said, clapping his hands together. “Everyone figure out what you want on your pizza and I'll call in an order. Grab your drinks, get comfortable, and we'll meet in the theatre.” Everyone was going their separate ways, so I walked over to the closest chair and opened the envelope. There was a letter inside from Elliott and Zoey’s parents.

Dear Gwen, 

We want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for taking care of our children. They are our entire world and being taken from them has been torture. We were told about what had happened at the gas station. How you hid them. How you selflessly put your life on the line to protect them. How you took several bullets and lost copious amounts of blood all in the name of our children.You saved their lives, and we are eternally grateful.

We didn't know if you would pull through, so we had plans in place in case you did or didn't. If you're reading this, that means you pulled through and that all of your medical bills are taken care of. It’s the least we could do. If you didn't pull through, we were going to pay for your funeral services. We hope to keep in touch with you on behalf of Elliott and Zoey. Thank you so much for taking care of the precious cargo that is our children.

 I wiped the tears away as I finished the letter. I looked up and Bucky was there, watching me. I stood up and pushed past him, going to my room and slamming the door. I slid to the floor as more tears came. Knowing that I had a child growing inside me, that could have been lost, suddenly hit me. This was no way to raise a child. I could not, in good conscience, bring a child into this life. Not to mention that if people know that I'm carrying the Winter Soldier’s child, I will most certainly have a target upon my head. Bucky cannot know. He more than likely wouldn't care anyway, seeing as how he cheated on me. There's only one path I can choose. I will not tell Bucky and I will have to disappear and never speak to the team, who had become the family I never had, again.

Chapter 15

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[eastofthemoon]

Hi if you're still taking requests, can we get a conversation between Hunk and Alfor?

Here you go! I hope you enjoy this!

Title: Connections

Series: Voltron Legendary Defender

Rating: G

Characters: King Alfor, and Hunk

Summary: What do you say to a man you’ve never met?  Heck, his A.I.-ghost-memory-thing had tried to kill them all. On that note, Hunk wasn’t quite sure how he ended up meeting King Alfor in a middle of a flower field in the first place.

Hunk drummed his fingers against his knee as he felt the wind tickle his ears.  “So…um…what do we talk about?”

King Alfor sat across from him calmly, offering a friendly smile.  “Anything,” he said as he waved a hand towards him.  “We are free to discuss anything you wish.”

Hunk rubbed his neck.  That didn’t help him.  At all.  What do you say to a man you’ve never met?  Heck, his A.I.-ghost-memory-thing had tried to kill them all. On that note, Hunk wasn’t quite sure how he ended up meeting King Alfor in a middle of a flower field in the first place.

For some reason, not remembering how he’d gotten here didn’t seem to bother Hunk too much.

Hunk chewed his bottom lip as he struggled to find a topic he could discuss with the Altean King.  There was only one thing that came to mind, and truthfully it didn’t feel right to ignore it.

“Allura misses you,” Hunk said softly.  “A lot.”

King Alfor’s smile turned into a sad frown.  “I know, and I miss her as well.”  He gave a sigh as he dropped his hands into his lap.  “I wish could still be there to guide her in person, but I knew that our destiny was to part.  So-”

“That’s why you recorded your memories.  I get that part,” Hunk said earnestly.  “But, even when she had that around, I know she missed that real you.”

Allura never talked with Hunk about the subject, but it was easily to guess from the sad looks Allura had whenever she passed the memory recording pods.

King Alfor gave a sad nod.  “I know, but as much as I wish I could be there to protect her, I no longer have the power.”  He raised his head.  “All I can do now is entrust her safety to you and your fellow Paladins.”

Hunk frowned as he glanced to his hands.  “I’m not sure I have a right to be here.”

“Oh?” King Alfor asked.  “Why do you say that?”

Hunk cleared his throat.  “Well…I mean, I only came along because I wanted to keep Lance and Pidge from getting themselves into more trouble than usual.”  He lifted his head to look the king in the eye.  “Shiro needed to stop the Galra from getting the Blue Lion, and Keith was trying to protect him.  Pidge was just trying to find her family and Lance…well, it was partly to one-up Keith and also to follow Shiro who he’s idolized for a long time.”  He gave a shrug.  “I didn’t have any reason to be here other than following Lance and Pidge.”

Really, Hunk had forgotten just how many times he had gotten dragged into something just because he was trying to keep an eye on Lance. He had figured out a long time ago that Lance had a bad habit of jumping into something without fully thinking out the consequences.  Sure, he had gotten better at it in recent years, but Hunk still felt the need to watch his back.

King Alfor offered a small smile.  “You say that, and yet are you not the one who insisted your team save the Balmera and its people?”

“Yeah, but that was because it was the right thing to do,” Hunk said with a firm frown.  “It didn’t matter if I was a Paladin or not.  We couldn’t leave them to suffer, especially after Shay did so much to help me and Coran.”

“Perhaps,” King Alfore replied as he stroked his beard, “but the Yellow Lion chose you to be its new Paladin.”

Hunk opened and shut his mouth.  “Not really, I mean I’m only piloting Yellow because Allura told me to.”  He tugged at this shirt.  “Frankly, and I mean no offense, Sir, but I’m half convinced she just assigned us by the colour of our clothes.”

It had been something that had been nagging him and Pidge for awhile.  It was a bizarre coincidence that the colours of their lions matched the clothes they had been wearing that day.

King Alfor blinked and, for a fearful moment, Hunk was terrified he had insulted the Altean.  Yet, to his amazement, the king chuckled.

“That would be something she might have done, but I assure you in this case she did not.”

Hunk frowned thoughtfully as King Alfor picked one of the purple flowers from the field.  “The lions and Allura have been connected spiritually.  That was done so that Allura would be able to sense the quintessence of both the lions and any potential Paladins to see if there was a suitable match.”

“Oh,” Hunk replied as his shoulders slumped a little.  “So…Yellow picked me because Allura told him to.”

King Alfor lowered the flower.  “Not quite, you didn’t permit me to finish explaining.”  Hunk raised his head in interest as the king continued.  “It is true that Allura can sense which lion best matches a potential Paladin, but there is no guarantee that the chosen lion will accept whichever Paladin is offered to it.”

“There isn’t?” Hunk said in surprised.

King Alfor shook his head.  “The lions take choosing their suitable Paladins very seriously.  In the end, they make the final decision.”

Hunk chewed his bottom lip.  “Okay, but…there weren’t exactly a lot of choices at the time for Yellow.  For any of them, really.  He might have picked me because he was kind of out of options.”

“No, I can assure you that is not how the Yellow Lion thinks,” King Alfor said as he patted Hunk’s shoulder.  “The Yellow Lion chose you because, in that instant, it felt a soul it could bond with.  It is generous by nature, but if you had not been a suitable Paladin it would have refused.”  He gave Hunk a small smile.  “I should know, seeing as I was the previous Yellow Paladin.”

Hunk’s eyes widened slightly.  “You…you were the previous Yellow Paladin?”

King Alfor gave a nod as he returned his hands to his lap.  “Yes, and like you, I often questioned whether I had any right to be a Paladin.  In my youth, I frequently worried I had been chosen solely due to my royal status.”

Hunk’s eyes hardened.  “But, I know Yellow.  He wouldn’t have chosen you because of that alone.”

“No, and I know the Yellow Lion did not choose you simply because you were there.  You were destined to be a Paladin, Hunk.”  He gave a small bow of his head as he handed the small purple flower to Hunk.  “And I am honored to have you as my successor.”

Hunk raised his hand, but hesitated short of taking the flower.  However, when he heard a soft growl in his head, encouraging yet stern, Hunk found himself pinching the flower’s stem between his fingers.

“Thank you, your Highness,” Hunk said softly.  “I will try to do you proud.”

King Alfor smiled at him.  “You already have.”  The wind began to blow harder.  “I believe you are about to wake up.”

A fierce surge of wind came, abruptly scattering the flowers around Hunk.  “Wait, what? Wake up?  This wasn’t some weird time travel-”

“Yes,” King Alfor interrupted as Hunk’s vision began to blur.  “Take care, and please.  Look after Allura now that I cannot.”

Before Hunk could say another word, the field and the Altean King vanished.  He tried to reach out to him, but instead found himself falling out of bed and landing face first on the floor.

Hunk groaned as he sat up and rubbed his sore nose.  “What the quiznak,” he grumbled as he sat up.

He was back in his room where, to his best recollection, he had been sleeping.  

Right, I was exhausted after that whole haunted castle business, he thought and then paused.  So what was that dream then?

A knock came at the door.

“Hunk, you up?!” Pidge called out.  “I need your help on making sure the system cache was flushed properly!”

“Just a second,” Hunk grumbled as he sat up.  “Geez, I’m not even dressed yet.”

He went to change his clothes, but then felt something silky brush against his foot.  Hunk glanced down and spied a purple flower by his toes.  Silently, Hunk picked it up and twirled it between his fingers.

Logically speaking, he should have been more freaked about it - seeing a flower on the floor he’d only been given in a dream, that is.  However, Hunk found himself strangely calm upon seeing it.  It was almost soothing.  Hunk placed the flower on the shelf and gave it a small bow.

“I’ll do you proud,” Hunk whispered before he went to get dressed.