#but now when he comes home sally is on the couch holding estelle gently

[reefs-camp-blog]

sally and percy were always each other’s constants, they became a bit more distant once percy found out he was a demigod, but they were still each others firsts

then estelle was born

percy loves estelle so much, so much it physically hurts

but he sees estelle and how happy she is, how she had a mom that doesnt work the night shift nearly every night and instead is home nearly all the time, and she has a dad that’s present and there and is safe and percy is so so happy that she has what he never did

but at the same time he knows thats the exact reason why it hurts

estelle has what percys wanted his whole life

and now estelle has the only thing percy had his whole life

being his mothers first and top priority

he knows why, he understands why, estelle is a baby and needs to be cared for constantly, and percys nearly 18 and doesnt need his mom all the time anymore

but it hurts because all the food is no longer blue, it hurts because he sees estelle grow up and get help, it hurts because he sees estelle with the life he always wanted, but knows he will never had

and it hurts because hes no longer his mother’s constant.

sally has paul now, she has paul to help her through her issues and she has a child that doesnt get expelled from every school shes been in

and percy has his family. but its not the same. annabeth has always been there, but she doesnt understand, thalia has been through the same childhood as percy but she doesnt know what its like to watch the bad go to good in the same household, grover has always listened but he just doesnt understand

because hes happy estelle has the life he always wanted. hes glad his mother has the life she always wanted. but hes not in that life. because hes moving out soon. and hes no longer his mothers son, at least not in the way he was before

[thesibyllinebooks]

Percabeth Parenting: Sally the Baby Whisperer

Annabeth collapsed on the sofa. If someone asked her, she’d have no idea what day it was. She’d have no idea what time it was. She’d have no idea when the last time she had taken a shower, or what the stains covering her sweater were. What she did know was that taking care of twin babies was harder than fighting any monster or titan, or holding the sky. But finally, by the grace of the gods, she’d gotten them both to sleep.

The doorbell rang. Annabeth winced. Just as soon as her eyes closed, they opened. Seconds later, she heard the tell-tale cry of one baby, then another. Tears stung at the back of her eyes. She had half a mind to go answer the door and run out of it as quickly as possible. 

She stood, debating whether to check on her babies or see who was at the door first. Deciding they could cry for a few more seconds, Annabeth dragged herself to the door. She frowned when she looked through the peephole.

“Sally?” she asked as she opened the door. 

Percy’s mother stepped in with a smile. Her expression changed when she heard her grandchildren crying. “I would ask how you’re doing,” Sally started, “but your face says it all.”

Annabeth shut the door. She gestured for Sally to have a seat. If she’d known her mother-in-law was coming over, she’d have at least attempted to take a shower. She walked into the nursery, met with ear piercing cries. Just as she suspected, the twins were fine. She lifted them both out of the crib with a sigh and hoisted one child on each hip. In seconds, the cries subsided. Annabeth suddenly felt fonder of the children.

“Look guys, it’s Grandma,” Annabeth said wearily, returning to the living room. She handed Cassie over to Sally. She sat on the couch with Theo.

“That’s definitely the face of a new mom,” Sally noted, lifting Cassie and making a silly face at her. 

“It’s been seven months,” Annabeth sighed. “And I can’t put them down. As soon as I leave the room, they cry. I can set them down for two seconds and they’ll start screaming. When Cassie cries, Theo cries. When Theo cries, Cassie cries.”

“Yes, two is definitely more difficult than one,” Sally said understandingly. Annabeth had been delighted she first found out she was pregnant. With one baby. However, when she and Percy had visited Olympus to break the news, Apollo had oh-so-thoughtfully blessed them with another child, stating that twins were much better. Annabeth loved her children equally and had no idea which one was the blessing from Apollo, but she knew for sure two babies meant half as much sleep.  

“And all the books say that they should be able to sleep through the night at six months,” Annabeth continued. “But they don’t. And I try to let Percy sleep because he has to get up and go to work. And I don’t want to tell him I’m having such a hard time because we agreed he’d go back to work first, and I don’t want him to think I can’t handle...”

Annabeth erupted into a fit of tears of frustration, exhaustion, and embarrassment. She felt like a terrible mother. She hated to cry in front of Sally like a little child, but nearly two weeks of pent up emotions got the best of her. Theo reached up to touch his mom’s wet face, which made Annabeth feel even guiltier for being so frustrated.

“Mommy’s okay,” Annabeth said gently to Theo, kissing the top of his head. She wiped her face, adding her tears to the mix of stains on her sweater. “I’m so sorry,” she apologized to Sally. 

Sally looked at Annabeth like her heart was broken. She’d come to see Annabeth as her own daughter and knew already about her reservations about settling into family life, since she hadn’t had a family of her own growing up.

“Annabeth,” Sally said gently. “All babies are different. You can’t expect them to hit a milestone because a book says so. It’s all trial and error. And Cassie and Theo love you, that’s why they don’t like being put down. But they’ll learn to self-soothe, and they’ll grow out of it. And I know it doesn’t seem like it now, but they will sleep eventually.”

Annabeth nodded slowly. She knew she couldn’t look at raising her children like they were a building she’d made blueprints for, but she hadn’t thought she’d feel this clueless. “Half the battle is figuring out what they want, like are they hungry, are they tired, are they sick, do they want to play? I wish they could talk.”

“When they do start talking, you’re going to wish you hadn’t said that,” Sally said with a small laugh. Annabeth watched her slowly. She looked like such a natural, holding Cassie so calmly and comfortably. Well, she’d already raised Percy, and Estelle was almost seven. Sally was lucky to be sleeping at night. 

“Percy always seems like he knows what he’s doing,” Annabeth continued. “He’s so calm with them, like you are, and I’m just always afraid I’m going to do the wrong thing.”

Sally smiled at hearing the compliment toward her son. “Percy was a fussy baby too. I can’t tell you how many times I thought about just leaving him in the bathtub because I knew he’d be fine. But he grew out of it. All babies do. Can I tell you a secret?”

Annabeth gently removed Theo’s fingers from a piece of her hair. “Sure.”

“Babies can smell fear,” Sally informed Annabeth. “If they can tell you’re unsure of yourself, then they’re going to be unsure of you. And they’ll cry.” 

“I wish I was the fake-it-till-you-make-it type like Percy,” Annabeth admitted. “He makes this look like a breeze.” No matter how many times he got peed on or puked on, Percy didn’t waver. He always smiled and took it in stride. He always talked about how much he loved being a father and always seemed to know what silly thing to do to make them laugh.

“Oh, believe me, he’s just as tired and confused as you, and that’s normal. But he wants to be strong for you,” Sally assured her. “Can I tell you something else?”

Annabeth nodded. “Yes.”

“Percy called me this morning. He asked me to come over so you could get some sleep. He knows you’re having a hard time and he’s worried for you. He also knows you don’t want him to worry, which is why you won’t admit you’re struggling. But you need to for you two to get through this together. It won’t last forever.” Annabeth supposed the facade she’d been putting up for Percy wasn’t as strong as she’d thought, especially since she knew by this point she looked as awful as she felt. She also felt terrible when Percy came home to the apartment being a mess, or when she’d had an especially rough day and hadn’t made dinner. She was lucky Percy knew how to cook. 

For the second time that day, Annabeth felt herself tear up. “I just don’t know how to not be good at things,” she admitted. 

“You’re a good mother,” Sally said quickly. “And admitting you need some help will never make you a bad one.” Sally gave Annabeth a warm look. She was truly astonished by how amazing her mother-in-law-was. “Go get some sleep. I’ll hold down the fort.”

Annabeth stood up and handed Theo over to Sally, who readily accepted him in her other arm. Annabeth couldn’t wait to take a warm shower and then pass out in bed. She supposed she needed her rest because she resolved to sit down with Percy that night and admit her hardships to him. She knew Percy would understand- she never feared he wouldn’t- but she hated admitting she couldn’t handle something all on her own, even if it was two babies and she was just one person. 

“Thank you, Sally,” Annabeth said sincerely. “For everything. For coming over, for the advice, for raising Percy, I just- thank you.” 

“Of course, Annabeth,” Sally said to her daughter-in-law.

Annabeth bent down to kiss her twins and then headed off to her bedroom to enjoy the first uninterrupted sleep she’d had in weeks.