#but thank u again.... i did Not expect the lads n the story to be liked this much

[spotsupstuff]

every day I grow more and more insane about your characters and story and concepts and everything about them forever. how. how do you come up with the Best Fucken Shit Every Single Time????????????? I am in awe, I am in envy, and I am forever invested in your silly little guys and the world you’re building around them

I HAVE NO FUCKIN IDEA HOW IM DOIN IT IM LITERALLY JUST

AND THEY RUN OFF DOIN THEIR OWN SHIT, I DO NOT CONTROL THE RATE AT WHICH THE CHARACTERS BOOGIE WOOGIE

BUT THANK YOU!!!!! 💜💜

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers VANDEAD CARNIVAL ;; Laito Route ー Chapter 2

ー The scene starts in cafe ‘Tarte Tatin’

*Ding ding*

Waiter A: Welcome.

Laito: A table for two, please. (1)

Waiter A: For two, you said? My sincere apologies. There are no free tables right now, so could you perhaps wait a liーー

Laito: Nfu~ What about the VIP seats out on the terrace?

Waiter A: ...How do you know about those...?

Laito: Fufu~ I’d rather not have you underestimate me~

They’re available, right? Come on, hurry up and escort us.

Waiter A: ...

Laito: Also, this lady over here is this year’s Queen of the Carnival, you know?

Yui: Eh...? Me...!?

Laito: Are you sure you can keep the Queen waiting~? 

Waiter A: I-I shall go confirm with my manager so...!

ー The waiter runs off

Yui: C-Come on, Laito-kun...Why would you mention the Queen thing!?

Laito: Eh? Why, you ask...? I only spoke the truth, right?

Yui: Even so, you shouldn’t threaten him.

Laito: You see, this cafe has seats on the terrace which are reserved for VIPs.

You are the Queen while I am a direct descendant of that man, so I don’t see the problem?

Yui: B-But...

Laito: Ah-ah, that being said, as to be expected of the Carnival. It’s packed in here.

There’s Vampires everywhere I look, it’s making me sick.

Yui: Geez, Laito-kun...

( But he’s right, so even Vampires like to lounge in a cafe like this... )

( Honestly, now that I’m here, the Demon World is completely different from what I imagined. )

ー The head waiter arrives

Head waiter: Dear customers, my sincere apologies for the wait. Well then, I shall show you towards the terrace seats.

Laito: See~? They were available after all. Didn’t I tell you?

Head waiter: ...! You are...! Che...

Yui: ...?

( This waiter...Did he just click his tongue after glancing at Laito-kun...? )

Head waiter: ...Well then, I shall escort you. This way, please...

Laito: Well, let’s go. Come on, Bitch-chan...Your hand, please~

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー They start walking

Yui: ( I wonder if I just imagined it...? )

¨TIMESKIP*

Head waiter: This is our menu.

Laito: Well then, what do you want, Bitch-chan?

Yui: Uhm...Let’s see.

Laito: Nfu~ You can take your time. In the meantime, I’m going to step away for a few seconds... (2)

Yui: Eh? Step away...? Where are you going?

Laito: I’ll be right back, don’t worry. I just remembered I forgot a little something~

Yui: Something you forgot?

*Thud*

Laito: Nfu~ Exactly. A little something~

Yui: ( H-Hold up...He’s going to leave me all by myself!? )

( Actually, he’s the one who told me not to leave his side earlier... )

Laito: What’s that~? You look awfully anxious, Bitch-chan...

Yui: I mean...

Laito: No need to worry, really. I’ll be back before you know it. See you~

Yui: Ah! Laito-kun...!

ー Laito leaves

Yui: ( He actually left... )

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: ( Laito-kun’s not coming back... )

( Also, everyone’s stares are really making me uncomfortable... (3) )

( Laito-kun, please come back soon... )

Head waiter: Dear customer, please excuse me.

ー He takes a seat across of Yui

*THUD*

Yui: ...!

*THUD*

Yui: ( W-What...? This waiter’s manner of speech is very polite, but he’s extremely violent. )

Head waiter: Che. That damn fiend...He’s acting as if he owns our VIP terrace again!

I do not care if he is a son of the Sakamaki household, I am going to tell him my mind today or I will go crazy!

I am sick and tired of getting pushed around by that lad! I’m pretty sure he was lying earlier as well?

There is just no way a little human girl like you could be the Queen of the Carnival!

ー This catches the other customers attention as they start making a fuss 

Yui: !

( H-He’s talking way too loud! )

( O-Oh no...Now even the customers all the way in the back have turned around and are looking my way! )

U-Uhm, you see...

Head waiter: ...Hmph. Well, I do not care about your personal convenience at all.

I assume you probably got yourself involved in dangerous business. How pitiful.

...You’re just a puny little human!

Yui: ( Once again, keep your voice down...! )

ー The others approach Yui

Yui: ( ...For some reason everyone’s gathering this way...It’s turning into a whole crowd! )

Head waiter: ...Well, I’m pretty sure it’s too late already, but let me give you one warning.

If you stay with him, nothing good will come your way?

Yui: Eh...? What do you mean...?

ー The waiter leaves

Yui: ( Wait, he left... )

( Nothing good will come my way...He was talking about Laito-kun, right? )

( I wonder what Laito-kun has done in this store in the past...? )

...

( The crowd is still around... )

( What to do...? What if somebody were to attack me right now...? )

( Laito-kun isn’t around either... )

( Uu...I’ve gotten really anxious. )

ー Laito suddenly appears again

Laito: Haah~ Bitch-chan~ Your helpless expression looks rather anxious and lovely as well, you know?

Yui: Kyaah! L-Laito-kun!

Laito: Were you that lonely without me around? Nfu~

Yui: Y-You startled me...Where were you, for real? I...

Laito: Oh well, who cares?

Because you waited here for me like a good girl, I managed to fetch the thing I forgot.

Now I’ll stick by your side for the rest of the day, okay...?

Right. In that case, why don’t you take a seat on my lap instead of on that chair?

Yui: N-No thank you...

Laito: Eeh~What a shame!

Ah, by the way, have you decided on your order?

Yui: Ah...I’m sorry. Come to think of it, I have yet to think about it.

Laito: Geez, you really are so hopeless, Bitch-chan...

Nfu~ You really can’t do anything without me around, can you?

Yui: That’s not it...

*Creaak*

Laito: By the way, Bitch-chan. Did you know that the name of this cafe, ‘Tarte Tatin’, is actually the name of a dessert?

Yui: Eh? No...I did think it sounded like one though.

Laito: Hey, hey! You’re obviously interested in it now, right?

After all, you’re the one who suggested we would go in here, remember?

Yui: ( The dessert which became the name of this cafe... )

Selection

→ I’m interested! (☾)

Yui: Do you know what kind of sweet it is?

Laito: Nfu~ Of course I do.

In that case, I’ll teach you everything about the tarte tatin~

...The ins and outs, get it?

Yui: Yeah...

( But...Come to think of it, Laito-kun likes macarons, right? )

( He might actually be knowledgeable about other desserts as well... )

Laito: Fufu. In that case...From your human perspective, this story takes place in the long, distant past...

There was this hotel called ‘Tatin’ in a small village in the French region of Sologne.

The cook there was just so busy, he accidentally messed up on one of the apple tarts one day.

Yui: Eh? He messed up?

Laito: Exactly~ So, to try and fix his mistake somehow, through trial and error...

This tart...The tarte tatin was born by pure coincidence!

Yui: Heeh! Amazing! So that’s how the story goes.

To think he invented a whole new dessert through a simple mistake...

Laito: Nfufu~ Right? Makes you want to try out stuff...No matter what it may be, no?

→ A little?

Yui: Yeah...I guess I am a little?

Laito: Right? Of course you’d be. You can’t wait to try it, right? I totally get you.

Yui: ...? Laito-kun?

Laito: In other words...

I think we should try ordering this place’s tarte tatin.

Yui: I see. Since it’s called ‘tarte tatin’, it must be a tart of some sorts, right?

Laito: It’s just a regular apple tart. Nothing special about it.

Yui: ( ...? Isn’t he acting a little odd? )

Laito, Say, say, you want to give it a taste too, don’t you?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

( I feel like he’s really insistent about having me try this tart...? )

Laito: I heard it’s the number one seller on the menu since the cafe is named after it.

Yui: Heeh, I see!

( But well, he’s recommending it to me this strongly... )

In that case, I’ll try ordering this ‘tarte tatin’, I guess.

Laito: Nfu~ Okay! Waiter! Two tarte tatins, please! Oh, and tea as well~!

Yui: ( Haah...For now, I’m glad Laito-kun actually came back...I feel relieved. )

( That being said... )

Looking at it like this, this really doesn’t feel like the Demon World, does it?

Laito: Heeh, you’ve already gotten used to this world jam-packed with Vampires? As to be expected!

Yui: Ah, that’s not what I meant...

( Get used to it? If anything, I broke out in a cold sweat earlier... )

It’s just, I was thinking that between looking through the menu at a cafe like this, or calling over a waiter, there really isn’t much of a difference between both worlds.

Laito: Aah, that’s what you meant.

It seems like a lot of Vampires have become accustomed to human practices as of late.

Thanks to a certain weirdo...That is.

Yui: A certain weirdo...?

Laito: In short, the peculiar interests of a well-known Vampire King.

If not, do you really think a cafe which serves human suits would be this popular?

Yui: ( Laito-kun’s Father’s influence really is amazing... )

Laito: Ah, Bitch-chan. Seems like our tarts have arrived.

Head Waiter: ...Sorry for the wait.

Yui: Uwaah...! It smells lovely!

( It looks really good, but this is food from the Demon World, right...? )

( ...Considering that, I’m a little scared. )

Laito: Fufu...You’re not gonna eat?

Yui: Ah...S-Sorry!

Well then, let me have a bite...

*Flap flap flap*

Yui: ...! Kyah!

*Cling*

Yui: ( !? W-What’s this...!? )

Laito: Oh no! Are you okay, Bitch-chan?

Yui: Yeah, I just dropped my fork. I’m fine.

Laito: Geez...That bat really needs to learn some manners, disturbing a Vampire’s table like that...

Ah, hey, you there! My bad, but could you fetch us a new fork and knife?

Waiter A: Understood.

ー The waiter runs off

Laito: ...Phew. Ah, Bitch-chan. You can have mine. I had yet to dig in after all.

Yui: Eh? It’s fine. I’ll wait till he gets here...

Laito: No buts! No need to hold back. It’s ‘ladies first’ when it comes to this kinda stuff, no?

So, come on! Hurry up and have a bite?

*Thud*

Yui: I-In that case, I’ll dig in.

Laito: Go ahead, bon appetit~

*Cling*

Yui: ...! Delicious!

Laito: Really? I’m glad~ In that case, keep going! Here, have some tea too!

ー Laito pours her a cup of tea

Yui: T-Thank you...

*TIMESKIP*

Yui: Phew, that hit the spot! Ah...Yours is kind of taking a while, don’t you think?

Laito: Aah, yeah. It’s fine though.

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ( ...? H-Huh...? )

( For some reason...My body feels... )

Laito: Huh...? Is something wrong?

Yui: I-It seems kind of hot in here...all of a sudden...I wonder if it’s because of the tea...?

Laito: Eh? I don’t feel hot at all though...?

Do you feel unwell, perhaps? That’s bad! It’d be bad if something were to happen to the Queen of the Carnival!

Hey, Bitch-chan...? Are you okay? Your cheeks are sort of red as well. Do you have a fever maybe?

Yui: A fever...? B-But...

( I don’t have cold shivers or anything...How to put it...It’s like my body is flushed... )

ー Laito moves closer

Laito: Aah...My poor little Bitch-chan...

Your body is all flushed...You don’t know what to do? Right?

Yui: Eh...? How...?

Laito: Nfu~ After all...It’s thanks to the drug I snuck into the tart.

Yui: Eeh!? D-Drug!?

Laito: Exactly~ A little something which will make you feel hot and bothered~

Fufu~ The bat which flew at you earlier was one of my Familiars.

I set him up to ensure you would eat the tart which had the drug snuck into it~

Yui: ...! How could you! That’s so mean!

Laito: Aahn~ Oh you...~! I can’t get enough of that glare~

Haah...I knew I made the right choice going to fetch the drug earlier.

Yui: !? Don’t tell me, that’s why you left earlier...!?

Laito: Fufu~ That’s exactly why. Say, Bitch-chan...How do you feel right now...?

Aren’t you just dying to have me do this or that to you soon~?

You know...Something like this...?

*Rustle*

Yui: !

( H-His foot is...Under the table...! )

L-Laito-kun...! Stop!

Laito: Oh dear~ Did I brush against your leg? The table’s rather cramped after all. My bad, my bad~

Fufu...What’s wrong, Bitch-chan? Your face keeps on turning more and more red, it seems...?

But better be careful? We’re inside a crowded cafe after all...

You already stand out in this world as is...

If you behave too suspiciously, your surroundings will catch on in no time, you know?

Yui: ...!

Laito: Haah...Say, that feeling of doing something naughty is just so exciting, don’t you think?

*Rustle rustle*

Laito: You have to endure it so nobody finds out...Ah, but...

*Rustle*

Laito: Taking the offensive approach and simply exposing your everything...is a very valid choice in my personal opinion as well...~

Fufu, I’ve got turned on just from imagining it...Haah...Say, wanna just say fuck it and have a go?

Yui: W-What are you saying!? Cut it out already!

Laito: Aah~ ...I can’t hold back no longer...Hey, Bitch-chan, just a little bit, please...?

Let me suck your blood here...!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: S-Stop! Laito-kun! Everyone’s looking, see!?

Laito: Isn’t that what makes it great...? Hey, come on...Starting with this arm...Hah...Nn...

ー Laito bites her

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: Ow...No...!

Laito: ...Nn...Fufu. You’re so lewd, Bitch-chan...Letting your voice slip like that...

Look...Everyone’s watching us? Doesn’t it turn you on beyond belief...? Nn...

Nn...Haah...Now where should I suck from next...? Your nape...? Or maybe your shoulder...?

*Rustle*

Laito: Ah, right. Why don’t you just take off your clothes here already...? Nfu~

Yui: Stop!

( ...! The people around us are...! I have to stop him somehow...! )

( In that case...! )

...!

ー Yui knocks over his tea cup

*Shatter*

Laito: ...! Hot!

Geez, Bitch-chan! What are you doing!?

Yui: But...

Laito: Ah-ahー The cup broke because you made a fuss...

Yui: ( I had no other choice, or he would have never stopped I feel... )

Laito: Well, I won’t particularly get upset about this sorta thing though. More importantly, hurry up and let me...

ー The head waiter runs their way

Head waiter: ...!! Aaaah! How could this happen!?

Laito: ...What do you want? You’re so loud. We were just getting to the good part...Could you not get in our way, please?

Aah, if it’s about the other tart, you don’t need to bring that anymore.

Head waiter: How could you break that teacup!?

Yui: ( W-Was that teacup really so important...? Oh no...! )

U-Uhm, I’m the one who...I’m sorry...!

Laito: Ah-ah, I can’t believe this. 

A Vampire is getting his panties in a knot over just a little teacup...

Head waiter: ‘Just a little teacup’...Excuse me!? Do you have any idea how valuable of a good that was!?

Laito: Eeh? I don’t know. Besides, if it’s really that important, shouldn’t you have kept it locked away?

Head waiter: ...! Today you will not get away with this...!

ー He grabs hold of Laito

*Rustle*

Head waiter: Anyway, come here! I’ll have you explain the situation.

Laito: Haah~!? Why do I - the customer - have to do that!?

Head waiter: Shut up! Just come!

*Rustle*

Laito: Owow! What are you doing!? Didn’t you hear me when I said I don’t have the time for that right now!? Let me go!

*Rustle rustle*

Yui: ...

( What should I do...? I’m the one who broke the cup though... )

( But it’s because Laito-kun was trying to do weird things... )

*Rustle*

Laito: Aahー Geez!

If I had known this would happen, I should have just sucked her blood right away without pulling any extra tricks!

Yui: ( H-He’s not reflecting upon his actions at all... )

( ...In that case... )

I’m sorry, Laito-kun!

ー Yui gets up and runs towards the door

Laito: Eh!? H-Hold up! Bitch-chan!?

Where are you going without me!? Hey, are you listening!?

ー Laito is taken away

*Thud*

Yui: ( Laito-kun, I’m sorry...! )

( Things really did go south after choosing Laito-kun as my bodyguard...! )

...Either way, I should probably head to the castle, huh?

( I should be able to pull that off somehow! )

ー She leaves the cafe

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) Literally he says ‘it is just me and Bitch-chan...’, but since there is a set phrase in English to use when entering a cafe/restaurant and ask for a table of (amount) of people, I used that instead.

(2) 席を外す or ‘seki o hazusu’ is a common phrase in Japanese to say that you’re going somewhere real quick. (E.g. to the toilet, etc.)

(3) Literally she says that their stares are ‘painful’. Of course, this does not mean an actual physical pain, but it is making her uncomfortable.

← RETURN TO CHAPTER 1

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 3]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ SUBARU ]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA ]

[kirby-the-gorb]

reply roundup!

thank you to the patrons! fleurdelis, lukeperiodsun, @heraldinthedark, hadbabits, kellie, natascha, kirbx14, and @technophage!

also kirby’s [pride preparations] seemed to be pretty popular!

it’s a long one this time!

on [road trip]:

@littlemousejelly said: oh the universal Displaced Smol Feeling. doesn't matter how tall you are you look at a menu like this. doesn't matter how old you are being on a roadtrip means you feel like you're nowhere and everywhere and that's OKAY

@thebreakfastgod said: in 8th grade i went on a roadtrip in the week long break for Thanksgiving. on Thursday we were driving home but didnt make it back until Friday, so that Thursday we had Thanksgiving at McDonalds somewhere out in Kansas. we had actual thanksgiving the next day with my brother. this drawing is so cute n it reminded me of this :)

@nikuknight said: so cute!! and yeah this experience is universal I think ^^ relatable

@indigowallbreaker said: this was me last Sunday, what a feeling

@sortofabetaiguess said: this is probably what i’m gonna be like. actually if my queue works this is probably what i /am/ like. #not twilight

oh I didn’t expect to get road trip stories out of this post but it’s wonderful that I did, I’m glad so many of you can relate XD (also I had to keep the “#not twilight” tag because there’s just something delightful about my kirby making it to a twilight blog.)

on [sandwiches]:

@salted15 said: ohmygoodness !!!!! them hamds !!!!! they full !!!!!!! blessed

@orion-flux said: TWO GRILLED CHEEZUMS!?

two of them!!! (also I love that two different people tagged the same friend in this drawing, that’s so cute :’> )

on [mirror]:

@littlemousejelly​ said: OH CUTE, I THINK THEY BOTH LOOK NICE! i'm Love mirror kirmby very much they are as much shaped as a friemd as right side gorb kirby

oh he is definitely equally friend shaped! he’s just not quite as round lol

@macro-microcosm​ said: the duality of man

man vs self

on [game night]:

@lavendarjevil said: girls night

pedicures! talkin about boys! pillow fight!

@poltergeist-draws-probably​ said: me and the besties on a tuesday afternoon

heck yeah dude that is exactly the vibe I was going for

@littlemousejelly​ said: oh this is precious oh my godddd LOOK AT THE LIL KIRBOS WATCHING AS GREENBY DOES THE VIDDY GAME FOCUSING SO HARD AND DOING A REALLY BIG WIN, PINKBY IS JUST HAPPY TO BE THERE! blueby is asleep shhh... GRAYBY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT GREENBY IS DOING BUT THEY'RE IN AWE CUTE CUTE CUTE

using the color names like that is so cute :0 I just love the excitement in these tags it feels so nice ;u;

@toastycharmander​ said: 🥺 imma be honest i wish i could sit with friends and watch them play video games like this, just seems so nice. i’d probably end up as the blue kirby at some point tho

man, same. someday we will all get to sit with our friends again and/or make good friends to sit with.

on [incognito]:

@gingersducksandbubbles​ said: the brows remind me of the cinnamon toast crunch meme. either way, adorable until proven innocent and even then still adorable. yes im aware of what the last tag says. its the law duh

the crime he was wanted for was being adorable! there is no escaping that! (also I don’t think I’d seen that meme before, drawing angry eyebrows on things is just almost always funny huh)

on [hat]:

@dragonsandmollusks​ said: baseball hats or whatever this type of hat is called are way too hard to draw

ugh, they really are. especially in lineless art! (altho the person who said they’re putting this one in the art ref folder is funny XD )

on [small]:

@littlemousejelly​ said: OH TEENY!!!!! HELLO YOU ARE VERY SMALL!! OR VERY FAR AWAY!! OR BOTH!! I LOVE YOU!!!! littol teeny kirby are you cold?? are you rubbing your lil hands together because you have a chill?? WAIT I ZOOMED IN AND YOU ARE POUTING! AHHHHHH CUTIE I KISS YOUR LIL PIMK HEAD AND PATPAT! i hope you feel better soon!!!

a true journey :’>

@gingersducksandbubbles​ said: hi kirbo! why you so far away? did he have a snack? i see that lil cheek curve. he holding his hands or arm nubs so cute like an innocent lil guy so cute. is he innocent tho? not gonna get into tjat discourse cuz the end result is that he's always adorable!! Thank you kirby!

I like this interpretation too! just trying to play innocent after stealing a snack. :>

there was a lot on [pride prep]:

@lammiies said: Kirby supports Gay Pride! 🏳️‍🌈

@macro-microcosm said: BEST MOST SUPPORTIVE BOI happy pride 🌈

@rainbowmilk1996 said: Kirby is a good lad. That, and he probably likes all the colors

@neurokinetics said: my sweet gay child

you are all correct! kirby is gay, kirby supports gays (and the whole lgbtqia+ community! all of us!), and kirby thinks all the pretty pride flag colors are very neat. :>

@drummajor-isyourbandready said: this is the only pride post I'll reblog probably. look at this fella

ohh a high honor! thank you :> (although of course if you find other stuff also worth sharing that’s a good thing too!)

@kiwi-lynx said: Ok, I’m obsessed with your drawings THEY ARE JUST SO CUTE 🥰🏳️‍🌈

@pizza-equals-poetry said: op this is beautiful

awwh thank you both so much!

also @your-local-neighbourhood-kat tagged me in this [very cursed image] by a deactivated blog which, thanks I hate it XD

[tinyinvadr]

Hi, I am asking if you can do SpongeBob as a Tiny 4" Sponge in an AU where he's small and tinier than the rest of Bikini Bottom as well as him able to size-shift (Shapeshift) as a giant at times as well? I am such a SpongeBob and G/T Fan. I like ZIM too.

Sure thing! I don’t see SpongeBob G/t super often, so I’m always happy to contribute something different! (I’m pretty sure I’m the only person with a G/t blog that’s primarily focused on Invader Zim, ‘cause every one of my obsessions turns into G/t at some point and it all gets very specific, so, yeah)

Anyway, I decided to do the episode “F.U.N.” I changed up most of the dialogue, ‘cause I don’t really like rewriting stuff word-for-word. There are a few lines that are the same, and I left the F.U.N. Song intact, ‘cause it’s a classic, but I tried to make it my own take on the episode. I did want to write an original story, but I have a hard time coming up with ideas for SpongeBob because the show’s been on for so long and has done so much already.

F.U.N.

SpongeBob hadn’t planned on going to the Chum Bucket that day. Well, no one did. Ever. But he had a good reason to go.

It was a standard day at the Krusty Krab. Plankton stole a Krabby Patty, and SpongeBob got it back. But for the first time, the sponge noticed something different about him: insecurity.

No matter how hard he tried, he would never amount to anything ever. His restaurant would always be a failure. HE would always be a failure.

SpongeBob felt for him. He always did, though he wouldn’t admit it to Mr. Krabs. The two of them had quite a bit in common, actually. They were both small. Really small. And it’s hard to make a name for yourself when you’re small. Hard to get others to take you seriously.

But they were also quite different, in that SpongeBob was an optimist. No matter the challenges thrown his way, he would always overcome them, and he believed Plankton could too if he had that support. If he only had a friend, if only the entire town hadn’t deemed him irredeemable, he could have a chance.

And SpongeBob was determined to give it to him.

So there he stood, at the massive doors of the Chum Bucket, waiting for Plankton.

Opening the doors, the tiny owner of the Chum Bucket was met with the equally tiny sponge.

“Oh. It’s you.” He sighed. “Haven’t you tormented me enough?”

“No. I mean, I was wondering if you wanted to come out and play with me.” SpongeBob replied.

“What!? No!” Plankton immediately slammed the door, but SpongeBob stayed there. He wouldn’t give up that easily.

After a minute, Plankton opened the door again.

“Alright, SpongeBob. I’ll comply. What exactly are we doing?”

The sponge was overcome with excitement. Instead of giving him a proper answer, he just wrapped Plankton in a tight hug.

“You have three seconds to let go of me.” Plankton stated, unamused.

SpongeBob let go and backed off, but he couldn’t stop smiling. They were finally making progress! He could turn an enemy into a friend!

So the two of them walked all the way to Jellyfish Fields, where the sponge would introduce his newest friend to one of his favorite activities: riding jellyfish.

“I don’t see the point of this. Why would I want to ride around on an electric blob if it’s not being used to destroy my enemies?” Plankton asked.

“Because it’s fun!” SpongeBob exclaimed, already seated on top of a jellyfish and holding on tight as it swam in loop-de-loops.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Plankton asked, rolling his eye.

The jellyfish dropped SpongeBob off on the grass beside Plankton, and he was left at a standstill. Fun? He’s never had to explain that before. It seemed pretty self explanatory. But with how lonely and hated he was, it was only reasonable that Plankton never experienced fun.

“Well... it’s kind of... sort of like... let me spell it for you.”

“F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! N is for anywhere, anytime at all! Down here in the deep blue sea!”

Though at first unsure how to react to the spontaneous musical number, Plankton quickly chimed in.

“F is for fire that burns down the whole town! U is for uranium! Bombs! N is for no survivors! WHEN YOU-“

“Plankton! Those things aren’t what fun is all about.” SpongeBob interrupted. “Let me help you.” He took Plankton’s stubby little hands and started to dance with him.

“F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! Try it!”

“N is for anywhere, anytime at all! Down here in the deep blue sea!”

Just from briefly dancing, Plankton looked exhausted, so SpongeBob let go of his hands. “I... I don’t understand this. Why do I feel all tingly inside? Should we stop?”

The sponge chuckled. “No, that’s how you’re supposed to feel!” He caught the slightest trace of a smile on his new friend’s face, and soon, it was a full-fledged grin.

“Well, I like it! Let’s do it again!”

“F is for frolic through all the flowers! U is for ukulele! N is for nose-picking, sharing gum, and sand licking, here with my best buddy! Ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!”

After a day of fun, the two parted ways. The next day, SpongeBob went into work, where his boss, Mr. Krabs, was waiting for him.

“SpongeBob, I need to talk to ya.” The crab lifted the tiny sponge up with his claw and set him down on the nearest table.

“What’s the problem, Mr. K?” SpongeBob asked.

“Look, son. I saw you and Plankton at Jellyfish Fields yesterday. I understand that you want to help, but I know him. He’s sneaky, he’s manipulative, and he’s after me secret recipe.”

“Mr. Krabs, I really think he’s changed. We had so much fun yesterday, I don’t think he could’ve faked that.”

At that moment, Plankton entered the Krusty Krab. Mr. Krabs glared at him from across the room, then went back into the kitchen.

“SpongeBuddy, are we still going to the movies?” Plankton asked.

“Of course!” SpongeBob replied cheerfully, looking down at Plankton from his perch upon the table.

The small green creature made his way towards the pulley-powered elevator that was attached to each table. Certain accommodations had to be made in order for the miniature sponge fry cook to do his job, so elevators were a staple.

Mr. Krabs quickly returned from the kitchen, his claws suspiciously concealed behind his back. “Before you go, I thought I’d offer your good friend something, if he’s interested...”

He revealed that he was holding a plate with a freshly made Krabby Patty on it, and placed it on the table, right beside Plankton.

“No, thanks. We’re getting popcorn.” He replied, shaking his head.

The crab continued to glare at him, waiting for him to make his next move, but Plankton just stood there.

“Well, we’re leaving now! See ya later, Mr. Krabs!” SpongeBob announced as he escorted Plankton back to the elevator. As they left the restaurant, the sponge glanced back at his boss as he let out a disappointed sigh. Though he did feel the slightest bit guilty for befriending Mr. Krabs’ worst enemy, he knew it was the right thing to do.

The two of them arrived at the movie theater, and got the biggest box of popcorn at the concessions stand. Due to their size, they were able to share one seat. Though really, their seat was the edge of the popcorn box, which was seated upon the actual theater chair.

Everything was fine. Well, except for when Bubble Bass sat on them, but he got back up right away to go after the spilled popcorn.

Then, everything changed.

The movie suddenly stopped, and on the screen, the shadow of Mr. Krabs was being projected.

“Listen up! He’s deceiving ya! Reach into his pocket now and take what he’s got!”

SpongeBob and Plankton exchanged glances, neither of them sure what was happening.

“I’m talking to you, SpongeBob!”

Reluctantly, he did as he was told, only to find that somehow, Plankton did steal the Krabby Patty after all.

“What? Plankton, I... I thought you changed! I thought... we were friends...”

The sponge began to cry, which only meant one thing. Normally he was very small, but whenever he cried, SpongeBob absorbed his own tears, causing him to grow to massive proportions.

It was a well known fact that SpongeBob had the tendency to expand, what with how absorbent he was, and no one was particularly threatened by him, due to his kind and friendly nature, but it was still a major inconvenience, especially when this happened indoors.

“Plankton... why would you lie to me?” SpongeBob asked in a soft whimper.

Suddenly, Plankton began to cry as well.

“I’m sorry! I used you to get the Krabby Patty! But now that I have you as a friend...”

SpongeBob wiped his tears. Plankton was really about to give up the Krabby Patty, the sandwich he’d been trying to steal for his restaurant all this time, for the sake of their friendship.

“It changes NOTHING!”

Letting out an evil laugh, the tiny green villain ran off with the Krabby Patty, ripping right through the movie screen.

After calming down, the sponge reverted back to his default form, and Mr. Krabs met him at his seat.

“Mr. Krabs... I’m sorry. It’s my fault he got the Krabby Patty.”

To SpongeBob’s surprise, his boss smiled, and lifted him off the seat. “It’s alright, lad. You had the right intentions. Anyway, Plankton didn’t get away. Don’t you know what’s behind these screens?”

Mr. Krabs walked over to the screen and pulled it aside at the rip, revealing that Plankton and the Krabby Patty slammed right into the wall behind it.

“Solid concrete!”

Plankton stepped away from the wall, stumbling around in a daze. “You’ll pay for this, Krabs.” He mumbled.

“You know, SpongeBob? Maybe you should keep trying to be his friend. It keeps him confused.”

Maybe one day he would change, but SpongeBob learned that day that you can’t expect progress that quickly, no matter how catchy the song is.

[borhapstyles]

Headcanon: Meeting Ben

Not a request, but just kinda wanted this cause I think about it too much lol 

Although I promise I’m not ignoring the millions of headcanon requests inside my inbox I just need to sort my life also who wants to take my classes for me at uni I’ll pay u in love 

I’ll probably end up editing this some time later on cause I’m not fully happy with it but I just wanted to get something out for you guys, enjoy x

For Ben, he just knew you were the one

Perhaps not right away, because he never quite believed in love at first sight

But from the moment that he saw your smile, heard your life and the intonation rise in your voice when you spoke about something that excited you

He knew he couldn’t just let you go

and he never quite wanted to

For you, however, you didn’t quite know what to make of yourself

You were a fan of Ben’s, to say the least, and for as many fanfics as you read of him

You weren’t naive to think that he’d just look at you and fall in love

but of course, you always had a sliver of hope that he might at least find you pretty

((he does, he always does shhhh))

so when you saw him across the street from you in London

you couldn’t believe he was genuinely right there

just chatting with two other guys outside a cafe

and you were sure Joe would be jealous if he saw this

there was a big part of you that didn’t want to bother him

a part that felt scared to even walk over because you didn’t to embarrass yourself

but you knew that if you didn’t go say hello at least, you’d regret it for the rest of your life

so you sped up your pace and crossed the street to where he was standing, his back facing you 

and you stood still for just a second, admiring this view of him and 

your heart was racing like never before, palms sweaty and stomach just churning

“Ben!” you called out. you had shouted it but you were almost reluctant to

and he turned around, eyes bouncing to find who just called him

you waved at him slowly, the biggest grin on your lips

Ben then smiled and took a couple steps towards you

it took everything in you not to faint right then at there because he smiled with his teeth when he looked at you and homeboy never really does that

“h-hi, sorry if I bothered you, I’m a really big fan of yours and I just wanted to say hello.. I guess” you said before laughing at yourself

Ben also chuckled and nodded and said something along the lines of how you’re not bothering him

“no, no, not at all, thank you for being a fan.” his smile grew even bigger

and you’re sliiiightly more relieved as he seemed okay speaking with you

you had read a few encounters of fans meeting Ben and was told he was very sweet in person

but it was nice to actually experience it for yourself

but what reaally made you happy was the fact that he seemed to carry the conversation

“are you visiting London? not to sort of state the obvious but i think from your accent you don’t sound like you’re from here”

let’s pretend you’re not from england / london if u are ok ok 

aaaaaaand that’s when you two spurned into a conversation about places to visit, restaurants to eat at

Ben went so far as to tell you his favorite place to eat in London

which I mean, Ben knew the dangers of because he knew you were a fan

but something with you felt far safer, and somehow he felt okay with the idea of running into you there

in fact he wanted to

and no matter how much of a dork Ben could be at times

he also knew his way around words and would throw in a compliment every once in a while, hoping you’d catch it

and you did, your cheeks turning redder every time

and Ben wasn’t even aware of it but he had this habit of biting his lip and he seemed to do that a lot with you

he also didn’t realise how long he was speaking with you until his friends called him

“hey, Ben, we’re actually gonna head off, not sure if you’re still planning to come with us”

and suddenly you’re both embarrassed and sad

cause you took up what was apparently a good chunk of his time while also realising that you’d probably never see him again

but on the other end, Ben’s rather torn

he had a lads day out with his friends planned and was also slightly embarrassed cause 

if he’s honest

he forgot they were there when he was listening to you talk

Ben knew you for a total of 10 minutes but already loved the sound of your voice

he was also kinda scared to ask you out right then and there in front of his friends

also kinda scared to be rejected by you, he didn’t want to assume anything of you

so for a moment he was just kinda like uuhhhhhhh

so you were like “oh my god, I’m so sorry I took so much of your time! I’ll let you go, I didn’t mean to interrupt your time with them”

and Ben’s like “no, no, you’re not, it’s been really lovely chatting with you actually” 

and a part of you gets sad when he says this cause it means he really will be leaving

not that you expected him to do anything to stay with you but one can dream

so you smiled, really wide, and said “I’m gonna head inside and grab a coffee so I’ll let you guys head off”

“oh, oh right, yeah, this place has some of the best coffe in London” 

so you stepped ahead towards the shop, feeling Ben’s eyes on you

but part of you wanted one last word with him, one last excuse to talk to him 

so you turned around and made eye contact with Ben, smiling just for a moment 

and right before you were going to ask him a question about drinks 

his friends stepped in, having read his eyes and just knowing they didn’t want to be cockblockers

“actually, mate, I just got a text from the wife, she’s not really feeling well so I need to go home to her”

and his other friend, scrambling for an excuse, was like “y-yeah, there’s some things I need to take care of for today actually, so I need to go do them...”

so they leave you two before he can say anything 

and Ben’s cheeks were blushing really hard and he blinked at you for a moment before the two of you laughed

and you licked your lips, genuinely stunned at the moment

Ben’s just thanking his lucky stars that that happened

“I was just going to ask you what I should get here but it looks like you just got abandoned by your friends” you laughed

and Ben’s like “that’s alright, I think I’m in better company now”

so you’re like oh that’s how this is gonna be huh Benjamin

“well you’re welcome to join me for some coffee”

“I’d love to”

and when inside, Ben paid for your drink no matter how much you insisted on doing it yourself

and you two managed to grab a cute little table in the back of the cafe, right in the corner underneath a lovely painting

where you and Ben ended up chatting for hours

about everything really, from places he could visit in regards to your own hometown / area, to your favorite films, to songs he recommended for you 

and you two eventually felt like you had known each other for ages

a couple fans actually came up to Ben later in the day, taking photos with him

and they stared at you curiously

but you said nothing and Ben knew he’d see it later on social media

and get texts from the boys about it

but honestly

he couldn’t give two fucks

because he wanted more with you, that was certain

and eventually it would’ve come out

if he could wish for it, then he would have you around him for a while

so that’s exactly what happened

from that afternoon came the courage Ben grew to ask you on a proper date

and another

and another

eventually in bed one lazy Sunday afternoon 

you took Ben’s hand in yours, playing with his fingers and said

“you don’t know how glad I am that you were at that cafe that day”

and Ben’s like “you don’t know how glad I am that you were even near that cafe in London that day. you could’ve been anywhere”

“but I wasn’t, cause I was right where I needed to be” you replied

then Ben kissed the top of your head

then you said “i really wanted you to stay, i’m so grateful that your friends left, i mean i love them, but i didn’t want you to go”

and Ben laughed and was like “i would’ve stayed anyways, don’t worry on that. or else i would’ve found you, either way, i would’ve ended up back with you”

and then you just laid there, head resting on his bare chest, admiring the afternoon sun and staring at the painting that reminded you very much of the same one in that cafe 

“wish we could stay like this forever” you sighed

Ben rubbed your fingers against his, going particularly around your ring finger

you noticed his silence but decided not to say anything about it until he pulled a ring into view from your other hand

and part of you was like where did that even come from

but then Ben said “well then why don’t we?”

you were in shock at this point and Ben just grinned 

“will you marry me, y/n?” 

I feel like this massively sucked, i’m so sorry. i just whipped this out when really i should’ve done my sociology reading but i love you guys and also i just wanted to make something cause i’ve been watching a lot of London vlogs and I’m waiting for the day I meet the love of my life but this will have to do

may or may not make some sort of little series out of this?? cute little story of your life with Ben thing, kinda like my Harry series but who knows, lemme know what you think xx