#but that has like under 200 notes so its really Not on me tho

[prisonguards]

Joel did not put his whole pussy into being an insane housewife and compete to be the #1 Ethogirl and wear Ethos face on his shirt all season for you guys to say his relationship/allyship with Etho was forced just because it was a soulbond

[opaljm]

i. legend of the lamp (m) – jjk

➺ pairing: genie!jungkook x female reader

➺ genres/tropes: fluff; humor; smut; fantasy au; magic au; strangers to lovers

➺ warning/content tags: 18+; explicit sexual content: female masturbation (solo shower time activities, pro anal enthusiast y/n she wants it SOO bad but is very deep in denial); underwater sexual activities plz do not attempt at home you might drown (kissing, fingering, multiple orgasms, boob kink jeon makes his debut, he likes to bite and make it hurt but he also likes to kiss it better); sex in public (jungkook is an exhibitionist freak, y/n and jungkook give the ‘mile high’ club a new meaning, very mild food play, mean cocky jungkook shows up as expected, jjk's dirty talk is UNMATCHED, gross nasty jeon with the spit/licking kink, overstimulation, orgasm denial, the slightest bit of breath play/choking kink, impregnation kink is mentioned, possessive attention whore jungkook); sloppy cunnilingus with too much teeth tbh, finger fucking, there’s almost fisting but they both wimped out— there's always next time tho ;), forced orgasms, big dick hung like a fucking stallion jeon jungkook, unprotected sex but its fine cuz koo is a genie with fetus deletus powers, spanking, soft dom jk who degrades y/n like a CHAMP if it were a contest he would be winning a gold medal for it, jungkook likes to punish y/n until she can’t even think straight, standing up sex courtesy of strength demon jeon, praise thirsty competitive af constantly wanting validation jungkook, they both have a size kink let’s be real, reader has a strength kink throughout this entire fic she just wants to be manhandled and thrown around like she’s jungkook’s pretty sex doll, soft passionate sex, creampie, lovely aftercare from our cleaning fairy koo

➺ word count: 23k semi-edited but im too tired to actually do it properly :(

➺ summary: Jungkook has been serving his time as a genie for the last 2000 years, unfortunately stuck in a lamp for the last 200 years before he is woken from his slumber by a beautiful woman who somehow activates his lamp while making a wish that ends up letting him out. After eons of having to bend over backwards to make the desires of evil individuals from power hungry dictators to spoiled princesses come into fruition, he’s updated his contract to be more choosy over who the lamp allows to be his master. It comes to his great surprise that this woman was able to make the lamp work and that she only yearns to be loved and no longer be lonely. But all of the wishes he grants now have time constraints, another caveat he added to the contract, and he wonders what life would be like if he had never made that stupid rule. Because, as the week progresses, he finds himself falling deeper and deeper into her spell, pondering what it would be like if he never had to stop playing the role of her man. 

➺ author’s note: Sorry for disappearing after announcing a fic, I had a health scare which kind of had the domino effect of making me have a really shitty three weeks regarding my education and future and pulling me into a depressive episode (which yea turns out can be firmly blamed on the medication I've been taking because its a possible side effect). It's been a mess and a half but, I'm here, the fic's here (or half of it anyways). I hope you all enjoy it and leave some love 💕 Also, if I had known that all of that shit would’ve happened, I would’ve posted part one a lot longer ago, since you all know I had finished writing it a while back. I just kept holding out hope that I would be able to finish the entire fic in time but life got in the way of that. I hope that y’all don’t hold that against me too much! Part two will drop after Jimin’s birthday fic drop so I don’t fuck up that deadline as well! I’m under a lot of pressure as one of the hosts of his birthday collaboration. Please, please, please leave feedback for this story. Since it’s a two shot, your feedback is absolutely critical in helping my self-esteem about the direction of the story and flowing my creative juices for writing part two! 

This fic is a part of Namkook’s Moonrise Masquerade! Banner made by @kimtaehyunq​. Beta-read by @jimilter​ (miss girl helped out with the content warnings too we love her!), @ressjeon​, and @amourtae​ the lovely angels❣️

↳ second/final part | main masterlist

Today has just absolutely not been your day. 

It seems like things went off to a rough start from right when your morning began. You woke up late because your alarm clock hadn’t gone off, and in your hurry to leave for work this morning, you picked out your outfit for the day half asleep as you attempted to brush your teeth and comb through the unruly mess that was your bedheaded locks of hair. When you spit out that white cloud of mint flavored foam, it got on your peach colored lavallière top, staining the silk pussycat bow. 

You ended up wearing a too tight black with gray pinstripes pencil skirt you kept meaning to donate to Goodwill, but never quite got around to it, and a silky white blouse that you had loved when you thrifted but then later had realized that the abstract black lines that made up its designs were not flowers like you initially had thought but were rather depictions of nude female silhouettes. The shirt is lovely; it’s certainly a statement piece and one that would look great on you on most occasions and would make for a darling ‘outfit of the day’ post on Instagram, however it is not exactly workplace appropriate attire for the public university where you work as an admissions counselor. 

But even with that little kerfuffle, you had not been too stressed early on in the day. Oh, if only you knew how badly the rest of the day would continue to be. As you went out the door, you smartly thought of snatching your black peacoat off the coat hook in the entryway, which could be used to cover up the sexually deviant positions the ladies on your shirt were contorted into. You ended up needing it too, after a mishap at the coffee shop in the student union left you with dark coffee dripping down your torso and making your shirt transparent as it clung to you with the wet sugariness of the shaken espresso seeped with vanilla syrup. 

Things continued to go badly during your appointment with an incoming freshman and her parents who wanted to pull her out of the university because of the trouble she had gotten into over the summer after graduating from high school. Your heart goes out to the girl after remembering how badly that conversation had gone and how despite your best attempts, neither you nor she could sway her parents’ made up minds. You weren’t even able to convince them to change her enrollment to an off-campus one where she could commute from her parents house, whereas she was previously an on-campus student with a room in the freshmen dorms. They wanted her to pay for her actions by going to community college and getting a part time job.

Making matters worse, you had almost thrown up the 6-inch Subway tuna melt you had gotten and now as you walk home, in your pinching heels, too tight skirt, and your peacoat hiding your stained shirt, to your apartment just two miles away on the far end of the glittering and bustling university village that was adjacent to one of the largest and most vibrant cities in the country, it starts to drizzle.

Normally, you do not mind the rain. Of course, your previous attitude of the rain was based on the fact that you did not have too many experiences of being wet like a drowning rat, caught in the middle of the storm without an umbrella or any sort of protection while wearing shoes that were not that slip resistant. 

You sigh as you continue onwards, wondering if maybe you should duck into the Target that you are passing to buy an umbrella. But you already know that Target will be out of stock, like it always is out of stock during unexpected bouts of rain because the students buy out the umbrellas, even going so far as to making the overpriced ones in the student store, that are in the school colors and have the school’s mascot imprinted on them bold and center, out of stock. 

When you finally do get home, you leave your wet shoes on the mat you have just inside the entrance, toeing them off and exchanging them for your fuzzy pink bunny slippers that are not only soft and dry but a huge and warm comfort to your freezing feet. You scamper your way to the opposite side of the apartment, sliding the glass doors that lead to the balcony open, and you hang your coat off of the backs of one of your iron outdoor chairs for it to dry, or at least keep it from dripping all over your apartment. 

You debate whether you should take your clothes off on the balcony too. You’re not afraid of university students seeing you; your apartment is out of most of their price ranges except for the richest of them all, but even knowing that, you don’t have a lot of fear since half of your balcony is covered in thin mesh privacy netting. The half of your wraparound balcony that is exposed to the elements is the part of it that you can access from your bedroom’s sliding doors as well. Not wasting another second, you quickly shed the offending articles of clothing off, just standing there in your fuzzy slippers and a matching black pair of Sabrina panties and brassiere from Honey Birdette. You regret your decision instantly as the transparent tulle and ribbons of lace do nothing to protect you from the blasts of wind causing the rain to drift your way but you fight through it. After letting those clothes hang to dry as well, you make your way back in, bypassing the living room to head straight for the shower. 

Your black underwear set clings to your body, you notice when you catch a glimpse of yourself of the giant mirror that takes over half the wall over your dual sink vanity. You see a figure with hardened plum colored nipples, covered in goosebumps, staring back at you. Her eyes widen from her surprise at how her body quivers even indoors and her hair is drying in messy curly tendrils around her ears. You look almost unrecognizable.

Flittering around the modern minimalistic styled bathroom, you busy yourself turning on the shower and waiting for the water to turn warm, as it always takes the pipes a moment to heat up. In the interim, you grab two fuzzy towels, one for your hair and one for your body, to throw over the glass partition of the shower since there are no conveniently placed towel racks. You also grab your fancy pink “cloud” face wash from the sink, which honestly does too little for its steep price point, in your opinion, and your A Thousand Wishes body cream from Bath & Body Works, that you had stocked up on during the summer semi-annual sale. 

By now, the water is finally hot enough and starting to steam up your bathroom a bit. You slide off your bra and step out of your panties before flinging them into the laundry hamper. Walking into the shower stall is a welcome respite after your long day. For a moment, you just stand there motionless, letting your eyes flutter shut as the showerhead jets water over you, soaking your hair completely and soothing your worn out exhausted muscles. You could pass out from comfort in the shower and that would be horrible but oh you understand now why some people are able to fall asleep in their baths. 

Your shampoo and conditioner bottles are the pump kind so you don’t need to put in too much effort to squeeze out the peony and amaretto scented ambery gold colored liquid into your cupped palm. Today is going to be a simple shower; you’re too drained to go into your whole hair routine with its scalp scrubs, serums, and hair masks, in addition to the usual shampooing and conditioning you do. When it's finally worked into your hair, making it foamy from how well you scrubbed it in, you let the shower wash your hands clean and let the suds disperse. 

Your shower gel is A Thousand Wishes scented too; you’re not the type to mix scents and give yourself a migraine when you can avoid it. Abandoning the loofah, you decide to run your soapy hands over your body for a quick clean. When your hands skim over your breasts and your long acrylic nude ombre nails catch on a nipple, instantly turning the already hard nub into a rock solid bullet, you stifle a surprised moan. Your mind whirls as you recover from the sensation. 

Even as fatigue clouds your mind, the world seems to get closer as your senses become hyperaware. Suddenly you can feel the cool stone underneath your feet that much more as your toes curl in pleasure from how it contrasts wonderfully with the warm water cascading over you. As your hands wander down your body, molding your palms against every curve and divot, the shower gel and water provides a nice lubrication, making it easy for you to slide your fingers over your body. You have to press harder to make your touches rougher, and the delicious friction that comes from those more frantic brushes make your voice catch in the back of your throat before it crawls its way up in the form of a delicious keen.

Oh, what you would do to have a gorgeous male manhandle you right now. You like it rough; you like a little bit of force that reminds you of the strength behind his muscles that you know he would never use on you but the idea that he could make your strength and size kinks come alive. Your hand now transverses over to your throat and you wrap your slim fingers around it, your long nails lightly scraping against the delicate flesh, relishing in the hold but sighing in frustration that your small weak hands can’t apply the pressure that you actually want. 

You’re single because the males you keep finding have no idea how to treat a woman in a way that makes her feel safe even when she wants to be utterly destroyed. A lot of it is based on trust and respect. The shitheads you meet? You wouldn’t even trust them to walk you home at night without angling for a kiss you don’t want to give. 

Abandoning the hand from your throat, you instead press your front side against the marble walls of the shower, pretending that it’s your lover who’s got you clinging to the damp stone and that his hands are dipping over your hips before going lower, wrapping themselves around your thighs in a way that has his thumbs pressing into the clefts of your asscheeks as he spreads them apart and the water from the shower flows into the puckering hole that is revealed. You hate the concept of anal sex but as one of your hands busy themselves in the front, plucking at your clit and fluttering across your folds as you tease yourself to the brink without any insertion, the other hand is working on your tight asshole, your thumb pressing onto it, flirting by only letting the tip of your thumb in before pulling away.

What you would do to have a big heavy cock stroke your ass, painting it with its precum, taunting the sensitive hole hidden between by pressing against it but not entering. Or for you to be on your tiptoes with your legs parted so that his cock could slide underneath, thrusting against the petaled furls of your pussy until he plunged into it from behind while you’re trapped between his warm slick body, his hard abdominal muscles and chest pressing against your back, and the cool marble, your nipples turning into stiffened peaks that are begging to be touched but finding no purchase against the slippery walls. It would feel almost claustrophobic, like you can’t move due to his delicious weight and like the only part of you that could move was your pussy, its walls clenching around him and clinging to him every time he slammed into you. 

With three fingers inside you, you can almost pretend that it’s real. Though, you know that at any moment you can move away since there's nothing actually trapping you into the position that you are in. You can’t finish though, your mind is your own mental prison, too cynical and realistic for its own good. You find yourself reaching up for the removable shower head and pulling it down. Your hand frantically clicks on the controls, increasing the water pressure. You debate if you want to do this standing up but you know that you will lose the feeling in your legs the second your explosive orgasm hits after being edged for so long. Thus, you slide down to a sitting position in your shower, your back against the wall, your legs folded up and spread apart as you position the showerhead right at your cunt, knowing that your clit will be getting the maximum pressure possible. 

You emerge from your shower ten minutes later with your legs feeling so jelly-like you have to grip at the walls to make it back to the sink to finish up your skincare routine and return the products that you had taken with you into the shower back to their original homes. 

When you feel squeaky clean and refreshed, bundled up in your favorite pajamas, a beige plaid set you had gotten as a white elephant present so they are very roomy and swamp your body, you finally deal with your wet work clothes properly and put them for a cycle in the dryer. You’ll likely have to deal with your Chinese Laundry peep toe pumps as well so that the leather doesn’t dry weirdly and make them crack in places but, that’s a concern for you in the future.

With a towel wrapped high around your head in a way that might end up giving you a receding hairline, if you don’t stop using that method to dry your hair soon, you step back into the main part of your apartment. Your eyes quickly go to the coffee table where it appears that your best friend had dropped something off while you were away at work.

There’s a bouquet of pink and white peonies that you immediately fix up in a vase with the proper amount of water, a square box covered in black matte wrapping paper with art deco style gold designs embedded into it, and lastly, a wine bottle in a gorgeous black and gold gift bag that compliments the wrapping on the box and has a matching envelope pinned to it. Before you sit back down on the plush comfort of your oat colored cloud sofa, you rip the envelope off from how it’s been stapled to the gift bag so that you can tear open the flap and get to the card inside. Reclining back, you narrow your eyes to read, having forgotten to grab your glasses from your bedroom dresser and having already taken off your contacts for the day:

Happy Birthday my darling Y/N! I hope that your 25th birthday is the most beautiful one to come so far! Wishing you nothing but blessings and good fortune on this beautiful day! Your present this year is one that surprised me as well but when I saw it, I was drawn to it instantly and the thought that it might be perfect for you abruptly flooded my mind! Can’t wait to hear your opinion on it!

Love, Safi

P.S. Don’t waste this wine by keeping it for a better day! Live in the now by cracking it open today and enjoying a birthday toast because today is just as important as whatever future occasion you’re trying to justify would be a better opportunity to enjoy the wine! (save the Sephora gift card for a rainy day though lol)

You laugh self-indulgently and look back inside the envelope where there is indeed a black $100 Sephora gift card before putting them all aside. You suppose you should listen to Safi’s advice even though today has not been a great birthday by any stretch of the words since it will be nice for you to unwind with a glass of wine. Pulling the bottle out you can see that it is a bottle of rosé, Gerard Bertrand Cote des Rosé to be precise, and the glassware is magnificent with the bottom of the bottle being designed in the shape of a rose with all its petals. 

The box lies unopened for now even if it’s your main present. You have too much of a one track mind and you immediately want to crack open the alcohol to let loose and make yourself forget about your day for just a little bit. You head for the kitchen cabinets and reach for the first drinking vessel you can grab, not too picky when it’s almost 11pm and you have to wake up at 6 in the morning. Perhaps Safi didn’t want you to drink the alcohol out of a coffee mug, in your most comfy sleepwear and a towel wrapped around your head, but it’s the best you can do at the moment. 

You nestle the bottle in the crook of your right arm, holding the mug in the same hand while grabbing the box with your left and taking all three objects out with you to the balcony. It takes you a little finagling to manage opening the sliding door but you soon make your way out where a light breeze brushes against your body comfortingly. Placing everything on the table you have outside, you head back in once more to grab your corkscrew from where it was misplaced in the junk drawer.

It’s not long before you’re back outside, sitting down and admiring the rainfall, which you are now able to appreciate since you are no longer soaking in it. It’s more of a light drizzle now and most of the clouds have dissipated, leaving only the thinnest types of stratus and stratocumulus clouds. In the heart of the city it’s impossible to make out any stars in the night sky due to the pollution and lights but you enjoy looking at the moon as you sip from your mug and let the rosé, which somehow managed to stay chilly all this time, slide down your throat. 

Your attention finally goes to the box and you carefully unwrap it, though you know that it will be unlikely that you will reuse the wrapping paper unless you take up scrapbooking again. Inside is a simple black colored cardboard gift box, and once you remove the top, you find yourself looking at a gorgeous antique looking hanji lamp though you know better than to think that Safi dropped money on an authentic Silla era lantern. You can’t even begin to imagine how much that would cost. Even still, as you turn over the rectangular structure in your hands, you find yourself musing that you would never dare to light the magnificent ornament. It was going to remain a purely decorative piece whose design and history you would appreciate from its place on one of your shelves. 

You find yourself holding it up to your face to get a closer look at all four paper sides of the wooden structure, squinting to make out the images painted on them though it’s difficult because you had forgotten to turn on your string lights and the moon is only a crescent, not providing much of a glow, so you are practically bathed in darkness. 

You scrunch up your forehead thinking of how nice it would be if you had better lighting, No sooner does the thought come across your mind, do you find yourself suddenly bathed in a luminous glow as a shooting star hurls across the inky black sky, painting it with a white blue streak of light. You have never in all of your years seen a shooting star flying across the sky so close to you and you immediately snap your eyes closed. You were never one to waste your time on wishes but maybe in between it being 11:11pm, the shooting star, and the fact that you have not made a birthday wish yet, one of them will work to make your desire come to fruition. It can’t hurt to try right? Maybe finally your deepest yearnings will come to life. 

Little do you realize, that as you make your wish, a little light is cast from the inside of the hanji lamp, warming it up with a small soft candle glow before it flickers out at the end of your wish. When you finally open your eyes and look down, of course you see nothing. That hope you had quickly vanishes as your cynicism returns and you find yourself painfully laughing in a self-flagellating way. You down the last of the wine in the mug and stand up, picking up all your things and getting ready for bed. 

Little do you know, you’ve just wildly changed the course of your life.

While you’re asleep, a slow cloud of golden shimmery smoke begins to seep out from the lamp you placed on your dresser before sinking into bed and burrowing yourself under a mountain of blankets. 

A man emerges when the gold mist seems to have finally fully trickled out, building himself up from the cloud, becoming humanoid and corporeal. He is bare from the chest up, a golden chain around his hips marking the thing that holds him captive to the lamp and trapped under its control. His lower half is wearing loose baji brown trousers, the lower half of a hanbok that is the fashion of the Silla dynasty. It’s embroidered jeogori that’s a shiny silky white with gold embroidery is somewhere back in the lantern but he’s too lazy to get it now. Those are the clothes that he was entrapped in, so those are the clothes he is stuck in whenever he is kept inside the lamp. No one could blame him for whiling away his time in the vessel by choosing to slumber instead of waiting for himself to be let out again. 

Besides, as his gaze flickers over your modern style bedroom and he makes out a pile of clothing on top of a chair, he distinctly gets the feeling that he is no longer in the Joseon era, which was the last time he had been let out. Jungkook had gotten trapped in the lamp and turned into a genie when he was about 24, on the eve of his 25th birthday around 2,000 years ago, and has been paying for his mistake and the punishment that followed it ever since. In between that time and now though, he’s been let out of the lantern sporadically, over the centuries, every time it fell into the hands of someone who understood its power and wanted to make use of his abilities. 

But right now, his mistress is asleep and he is free, so he finds himself leaving the apartment, in search of what fashion and culture must be like in this weird modern time. He can’t escape her permanently, not when she has one wish left and his lamp in her possession, but he is free to wander while she’s not using him. It’s a little harder to define when and when she isn’t using him because of her second wish but since she’s unconscious right now it’s obvious that she cannot be requiring his presence currently. 

With nary but a thought, he’s suddenly on the streets in front of her apartment. He has no idea where he is; could this truly be Korea? Just because it’s past midnight doesn’t mean that the city is any less alive. He almost gets run over by a car, it’s impossible for him to get hurt given what he is, but his presence, with his feet over the line that separates the two lanes, spooks a driver who yells out a barrage of hateful language before manueving his gray SUV and driving around Jungkook’s body. Some of the comments are about a shirtless madman wandering the roads which makes Jungkook wince and even more impatient to get a change of clothes. They were not spoken in Korean which he won’t realize until later since he is gifted with omnilingual abilities that make him able to understand any and every language that exists or comes into being.

He wanders all the way to the shopping district where all the words are definitely not in Korean but using his mythical powers he’s readily able to translate them, understanding every language instantaneously. Whatever clothes he sees on the mannequins that he likes, he imagines them on himself and thus builds an entire wardrobe this way. His powers of manifestation come in handy giving him clothes that are perfectly tailored to fit his muscular frame which is paired with not only bulging biceps, broad shoulders, and thick thighs but a narrow waist too. He vastly prefers this power to his ability to make anything he wants be in his possession. Why not just make his own more perfect version than the store sizes of a men’s medium and large? Those cookie cutter sizes only account for his muscles but hide the rest of his body away under their expansive lengths of fabric. 

After his clothing shopping spree he sends all his creations back to his mistress’s home with a snap of his fingers and then begins his prowl for food. Genies don’t need sustenance and they can’t gain weight, though they can change their appearances if they wanted, but Jungkook loved food from his time as a human and he regularly uses his powers to let himself enjoy its taste, when he is out of his lamp, even though he can never make himself feel full.

His wanderings take him to a Korean restaurant that is open until dawn, and since food is the one thing he hates creating, he instead magicks himself the currency of this country, in this day and age, and bows to the ajumma who is working inside the establishment. He gets a table for one and orders a giant set of tteokbokki that has the maximum amount of heat allowed along with extra fish cakes and cheese, as well as three different kinds of Korean fried chicken: honey garlic, sweet and spicy, and barbeque, which are all flavors he has never heard of before, and finishes off with a clay pot of kimchi soondubu jiggae, a kimchi soft tofu stew. He only buys one beer knowing that the ajumma would get concerned over his tolerance if he had a dozen glasses.

When he’s done with all the food, he finds himself wistfully pining for the time when he was human and would have been truly able to not only enjoy but also appreciate this bountiful feast. After all, he had been born into a family of laborers, it’s why he had been able to grow so strong through hard manual work.

He finally returns to the apartment, but his work is not over. Unlike his mistress who can sleep blissfully having no idea what she had just done, Jungkook has long hours ahead of him to make her wish come to life in a way that seems believable and that she readily buys into by the time she wakes up. It’s not the hardest desire or demand he has ever had to complete but it will use a lot of his power, more than he’s used lately. And though he’s got an unexpendable amount of magic, he’s out of practice.

When you rouse the next morning, you can instantly tell that something is different and it immediately makes your hackles rise up. It’s more than just the smell of fried eggs, apple sausages, and maple syrup permeating the air of the apartment, making its way from the kitchen into the bedroom, though you know that you live alone and have no one to cook you such an amazing spread to wake up to. 

The air feels different, like the energy of the universe had shifted somehow. None of that makes any sense and yet somehow it also does. You don’t know what you mean when you think that but there is no other way that you can put this sense of unease into words. When you open your eyes and look across the room you see a male lounging against the wall wearing a street style look with black and gray FILA joggers and windbreaker covering the length of his long modelesque body; there’s a black bucket hat hiding his blond locks. 

You let out a loud scream immediately, terrified out of your wits, and instantly pull your comforter up to your chin even if you had gone to sleep in a pair of pajamas that covered you as though you were a nun. The male narrows his eyes at the shrill sound but the look is quickly shuttered away when a small pleasant smile takes over his face instead. 

He walks closer to you and murmurs, his doe eyes shining with the twinkle of stars from a million galaxies, “Are you okay, jagiya? I’m sorry for surprising you with breakfast this morning but I missed you. I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday since I didn’t get the chance yesterday.”

“WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?!” you yelp, tightening your comforter even closer around your body, wrapping yourself up like a human burrito.

“Your lover, Jeon Jungkook,” the male calmly states, his eyes peering at you, not losing their shine as he looks at you like you had grown another head and are the crazy one amongst the two of you.

“I don’t have a lover named Jeon Jungkook,” you contradict, narrowing your eyes into slits full of suspicion. And if you did, you didn’t think you would call him your lover. Perhaps, your man, your boyfriend, or even your fwb though you weren’t really the type to dabble in such meaningless romps of pleasure, but not lover.

“Are you sure about that,” he silkily purrs, using his tattoo adorned hand to gesture to your gallery wall. 

Your eyes follow its path and you’re horrified to see the most adorable couple pictures, most of which appear to have been professionally photographed though some are cutely caught candids, of you and this ‘Jungkook’ together, staring into each other’s eyes lovingly while holding each other in an embrace that speaks volumes about passion and affection. 

“Would you like to check your phone,” suggests the male as well, his blond locks playing peekaboo with his bucket hat as his head turns towards your nightstand and he nods at the iPhone that had been charging on top of it. 

You instantly grab the device, unplugging it from the white charging cord and clutching it possessively to your chest before you finally work up the nerve to see what exactly he means. You swipe down to look at your lockscreen and it’s a live photo of Jungkook squishing his face into the side of your’s, rubbing the tip of his nose into the apple of your cheek softly. Mortified, you use facial recognition to gain further access into your phone and what you see leaves you even more bewildered. Your home screen is the most aesthetic that you’ve seen it: organized by using the IOS 15 feature. It’s blush pink and cream and the background image is a digitally manipulated picture of you and Jungkook looking into the bay from your perches on a bridge at the bottom of the image as the sky melts into a creamy pink color that's been altered to match the theme of your phone. 

At this point, you’re nervously holding onto your disbelief, so it’s with trepidation that you go into your camera roll to find hundreds upon hundreds of photos of Jungkook in an assortment of scenarios, from cute date night pics with you to dozens almost identical selfies where he’s trying out a variety of facial expressions from the same angle and in the same outfits to then even the embarrassing kinds that look like you took them on the down low when you thought he wasn’t looking. None of this makes any sense. But he looks so cute and kissable. You almost want to cry helplessly at the insanity of this all. What if he was your boyfriend? Life would be so much easier then.

You leap out of bed to go out to the front of the apartment and it’s even more confusing because there’s half a dozen pairs of chunky sneakers and boots with spiked soles that look like fashionable and weaponized soccer cleats on the shoe rack that’s by the front door— all belonging to designer brands and looking slightly threatening. It is clear that those shoes belong to a male, most likely this male, and they are all neatly organized to one side while your shoes, the shoes that you remember, are off to the other end. 

“This makes no sense,” you whine, rubbing your forehead frantically. Is this what hyperrealistic nightmares feel like? It seems as though you’ve been transported to the Twilight Zone in your opinion, and you just want to desperately get out.

“Would you like to call your mother and ask her about me?” Jungkook, his voice a smooth cadence as he unhelpfully directs the suggestion to your back. He had evidently followed you out back here. 

“What?”

“Your mother? We FaceTime her all the time. She’s really been pushing for me to pop the question for the last couple of months. Despite what she thinks, it’s really not that covert,” he scoffs, his lips flaring out into a pout. You note with bemusement that there is a small mole underneath the plush of his strawberry colored lower lip. How dare he have a mole in such a perfect location? Now your mind would never know peace until you dragged his lower lip between yours and sucked on that tiny chocolate chip. It’s actually deranged how your mind continuously chooses to flit between lust and rationality. 

“Jungkook?” Your voice takes on a shrill sound, “How long have we been dating?”

“As long as you want it to be.”

That doesn’t make any sense.

“Jungkook, please don’t mess around with me! How long have we been dating?” you demand more urgently. You are halfway to a full-blown panic attack and you need to calm down but nothing seems to be placating you about this entire situation.

The male walks around to step in front of you and then faces you head on. He keeps his hands to himself, crossing them while making sure that his fingers are folded and tucking into his armpits. He bends a little to look you in the eyes since he’s much taller, to peer carefully into your eyes that are slightly blown out from your constant state of shock and bewilderment. “Why didn’t it work?” he wonders.

“HAVE YOU BEEN GASLIGHTING ME?!”

“Well, not intentionally,” he muses, tapping a finger to his lip. God, even his hands are perfect. Each digit is long and tipped with neatly cut and perfectly clean fingernails. And they’re shiny too like he uses some type of cuticle oil. Not to mention how he’s got sexily protruding veins wrapping along the back of his hand and down to his wrist and arm.“I thought you’d be in on it. Could it be that it didn’t work on you even though it worked on everyone else in your life because you made the wish? My magic probably assumed that you didn’t need convincing since after all, this was what you wanted.”

Things make even less sense after his explanation even though Jungkook probably thought he was being helpful by providing it. Your eyes are narrowed in disbelief as you perturbedly shake your head.

“What are you talking about?” you hesitantly ask. You’re nervous because you’ve moved on from the idea that this is a hyperrealistic bad dream to the conspiracy theory that you have a crazy stalker who somehow figured out how to almost seamlessly integrate himself into your life and that he’s more than just the ordinary type of psychopath; this one seems like he’s the delusional type that thinks he has otherworldly powers. Wouldn’t that be just your luck: Jungkook is the first man you’ve been attracted to in months but he didn’t approach you like a normal person who wanted to pursue something.

Jungkook’s mouth takes on a pursed shape as he narrows his eyes at you, deep in thought; the coral red lips are scrunched together with the upper one flaring out. You can see the chocolatey brown mole right below them again and you are suddenly hit with the urge to kiss his lips until the frown is smoothed out.

“Do you have any idea what you even did last night?” he barks, his tone entirely too accusatory for your liking. One would think you had cheated on your imaginary boyfriend the evening before. He takes off his bucket hat in frustration and runs a hand through his blond locks, ruffling them. His jerky hand movements bring attention not only to the length of tattoos that encompass his arm but also its muscular veininess that had held you previously enraptured. You blink, you need to get dicked down soon. You wanted to give into Stockholm Syndrome way too easily for this man. Don’t do it, Y/N, no matter how hot Jungkook is, it’s scary that he’s in your house right now.

You rack your brain but come up woefully short. “I went to bed with only rosé as my dinner?” you hedge. You don’t think it’s that big of a deal although it’s definitely unadvisable to do. 

The male huffs, raising his right hand up before he snaps the fingers on that hand. A paper lantern appears, landing perfectly on his palm. Your eyebrows both raise because you recognize it immediately; it’s the lamp Safi had gifted you as your birthday present. 

“You made a wish for the perfect beau,” Jungkook explains patiently, “I made your wish come to life.”

“Can’t you undo it?” you push urgently. Why are you entertaining this mad man? Magic isn’t real, Y/N!

He excitedly quirks an eyebrow of his own, smirking as he takes in your look of bemusement. “Is that another wish?” he asks.

“No!” you swiftly interrupt. If you are in the Twilight Zone somehow, you need to be smart with how you navigate within this nightmare, at least until you figure out a way to wake yourself up.

“You only have one left, anyways,” he sasses tapping his plumper lower lip with his pointer and middle fingers, you’ve already noticed it’s a habit, rolling his big doe eyes, “I could kind of undo the effects of the wish by making its time constraint shorter so that it stops in the next five minutes but in my opinion, that’s just another wasted wish. So if I were you,” he says with a shrug, “personally I’d go along with it for the next ten days. We wouldn’t do anything that makes you uncomfortable but I would still be playing the role of the doting attentive paramour.”

You blink at him, your mind still sluggish from your wine hangover and terrible bout of sleep. “I only have one wish left?”

“Not the smartest of my mistresses or masters by a long stretch,” Jungkook agrees, teasing you, scrunching his nose to peer at you cutely. 

You gasp loudly, obviously affronted. Not the handsome weirdo calling you dumb. 

“Do I get three?” you question. Your mind is working on overtime today and it’s still taking you too long to understand things. You’d like to tell this Jungkook character that you graduated from the top university in the nation and have two degrees but you don’t think that he would believe you if you bragged and let that tidbit slip. 

“You do,” he nods, unhelpful as ever.

It kind of makes sense; you assume the purpose of genies is to manipulate their rulers into making all of their wishes as quickly as possible.

“Oh, you want me to tell you what your two used wishes were. Humans really are weak, aren’t they? Is your mind normally supposed to be so foggy after drinking so much?” He calls you out directly and you gasp; you suppose that genies don’t have manners. Or at least this one doesn’t, you glare at Jungkook’s untactfulness.

“I know one of them was to have you here,” as your boyfriend, you finish off in your head, too unnerved to say it out loud just in case that makes it more true, “but what was the one before it?”

“Oh! You wanted there to be light.” Fiat lux, look at you, and you thought you weren’t philosophical. 

You blink again. Nope, that doesn’t follow. You would never be so profound. What would a wish like that even mean to a genie? An increase in intelligence? For there to be less ignorant people in the world? Ah. Wait. You do vaguely remember thinking that it would be so nice if you had more light to see the markings on the lantern. But—

“I made my wish for a man on a shooting star,” you retort as a counterargument, trying to wheedle out of Jungkook’s covenant so that you’ll have an additional wish to add to your arsenal.

“Nice try,” snorts Jungkook. He’s probably listened to a thousand arguments by a thousand masters that have all tried to bargain and reason with him trying to manipulate him and exploit him for more wishes, “But I made that appear in the night sky. It was not fated to be there that night until I materialized it. It wasn’t real so it didn’t have the powers of a normal shooting star.”

“So shooting stars actually work?” 

He shrugs, “Sometimes. Wishes depend on the caster. Theoretically you can make a wish on a shooting star, a wishing well, your birthday, on a deity, etc. But you can rarely succeed at having a wish granted, much less by using the same method twice. And most people, if they’re lucky, only get to have one wish come true in their lifetime. It’s much more common for there to be no successful ones. Aren’t you lucky to have woken me up from my slumber,” he snarks, “you got three.”

“I made a birthday wish,” you faintly mutter rather dispiritedly.

He hears you anyways, “I don’t think it worked. Why not try again next year?” 

You ignore the snarkiness of his suggestion, “So you’re really my boyfriend for the next ten days.”

He nods. You squint at him, you still haven’t put your contacts on for the day and your glasses remain forgotten in your bedroom. 

“Can I ask you to do things? Like a girlfriend asks her boyfriend? Or does that count as a wish.”

“You can ask me anything. Whether or not I do anything is entirely up to me. I suppose I will be more courteous and mindful of your requests since I am playing the part of the perfect significant other. As long as it’s related to this wish, I will try my best to make it come to fruition for you. For example, if you wanted me to take you out for dinner on the rooftop of a skyscraper I probably would. If you wanted me to buy you a bunch of gifts or fill your rooms with flowers, I could do that too.”

“Why is it only ten days? I didn’t wish for ten days,” you inquire.

Jungkook smiles at you sheepishly, showing the first sign of less than suaveness. “As far as mistresses go, you’re not a selfish one but would you believe me if I told you that in the past only terrible people used to be able to draw me out of my lamp and make demands of me? As the years went by I added rules: only three wishes, no wishes have permanent effects, and only those pure of heart can awaken me, just to name a few.”

“Oh.” You don’t know what else to say.

“In ten days, your life will go back to normal. And even though you will always remember this, it will become more and more dreamlike and disconnected from reality as time goes on. One day you might even come to the decision that you had made me up and that I was a figment of your imagination. No one can hold onto the idea that this was all real for too long.”

“So for this week, everyone in my life is convinced we’ve been together for a while but next week they won’t even have known I had a boyfriend?” you conclude.

“You’ll wake up on the eleventh morning like time hasn’t passed at all; it’ll be like it’s today all over again but without me in all those pictures that stand as proof of a shared, albeit fake, history,” Jungkook confirms.

“But what will happen to you?” you worry. 

“I’ll be sticking around unless you make your third wish before then.” He looks at you hopefully but you snort in retort. “When you make the third wish, I’ll go back into the lamp and it will disappear from your life before the process starts all over for me. I’ll probably be sleeping until I’m let out again.”

“I wasn’t the one who found you,” you frown. “My best friend gave it to me as a birthday present.”

Jungkook's eyes widen marginally but you don’t catch how the genie appears momentarily unnerved, he shrugs it off to you, feigning nonchalance, “That doesn’t really matter because you were the one that was able to let the lamp open.”

You hum but say nothing. You’re distracted by the magnificent bounty of breakfast food that Jungkook has arranged on your tiny square table for four, not that you ever had to use all four of the place settings at the same time. You make your way to the dining area, edging away from Jungkook and the conversation, but as expected, the male trails after you like a lost puppy. 

“Do you have any plans for how our day should progress, mistress?”

“Please stop calling me that,” you blush hotly. You are the subbiest sub ever so it’s discomforting to hear you being referred to in such a manner even if it’s not in a sexual context.

“What would you like to be called instead?” Jungkook inquires, altruistically.

“Let’s just stick to my name for now,” you mutter, placing two fried eggs on your plate before going for the waffles. Jungkook should be glad you’re such a benevolent holder of the lamp, he says you’re pure of heart but you don’t know about all that, all you do know is, you won’t make Jungkook’s life any harder than it needs to be for the next ten days.

A light smirk paints Jungkook’s lips as he takes the seat opposite to you. “We can make our way to pet names and terms of endearment as the days progress.”

You choke, coughing and sputtering as a square of waffle gets lodged in your throat. But as your eyes water up, widening from pain and surprise, Jungkook smoothly waves his hand in a flippant manner in your direction and the waffle disappears immediately.

Gasping for air you ask, “Does this mean that when you’re finally gone I’ll be going back to choking and die a painful death?”

Jungkook scoffs, “Only the wishes I make come true for my masters have limits to them. And it’s a recent development I made to curb their usually evil desires. I’m very powerful. Everything I do has permanent effects. It’s why I’m locked up any time I don’t have an owner.”

You blink, gobsmacked. Somehow his arrogance is terribly sexy and it makes your pussy throb. 

On the first day, following breakfast, Jungkook makes the two of you disappear and reappear in Malta for an island vacation and date. You’re in a panic, claiming that you can’t be in a foreign country without any identification, money, or clothes. But the male just rolls his eyes at your antics and reminds you just who exactly has been cast to play the role of your picture perfect boyfriend. 

You side-eye him now. He is walking slightly ahead of you to the left so that there is space left for you to walk beside him if you want to catch up but you can’t make up your mind if you want to. His blond hair is trapped under yet another black bucket hat which makes you wonder if he hates the pale color of his locks and he’s wearing a black Hawaiian shirt with white hibiscuses creating an artfully arranged pattern. His black board shorts have a 5 inch inseam and you’re wondering how it is that this thousands-of-years old mythical being dresses like an emo alt boy. Not that you know what two out of those three words mean. You assume it’s like a vibe from what the gen z college students that appear in your office tell you. Jungkook looks just like them. 

You’ve been wheedling Jungkook to reveal details about his own life but the individual has managed to remain tight-lipped thus far. He runs ahead to a street vendor to excitedly buy you a sandwich. The round leavened bread has a filling of potatoes, capers, tomatoes, and mozzarella. He hands you one of the diagonally cut slices before bringing the other half to his mouth.

You hold it in your hand bemusedly, at a loss of what to do with it. You had quite literally finished the meal he had prepared for you half an hour ago. Side-eyeing him once again, this time enviously, you sigh; you can’t eat like he does because unlike him you do not have magical powers and if he continues to feed you like this, you’ll gain 30 pounds by the end of the 10 days. And you could ask him to keep you from gaining weight but that would probably count as a third wish instead of being an extension of his boyfriendly duties.

“Are you ready to see our lodgings?” he asks, a droplet of olive oil, that the sandwich had practically been doused in, glistening on his perfectly coral colored Cupid’s bow.

You give him a look that wordlessly states ‘lead the way,’ and follow him as your walk takes the two of you before a two story condo located on the waterfront. 

“Can I ask you a question,” you start off.

Jungkook interrupts you immediately, knowing just where your head was going, “I did not make the apartment appear out of midair. It was conveniently empty and I planted a thought in the owner’s head that he had rented it to us.”

Okay first of all, that was not what you were going to ask. “Are you going to pay him?” you demand self-righteously.

“Why?” Jungkook deadpans, “The timeline will be reset soon enough.”

“I was actually going to ask you,” you tread carefully, though apparently not delicately enough because the male’s hackles start to rise and his gaze turns into one that is more filled with suspicion and distrust. You plow ahead anyways and repeat, “I wanted to ask you why you were going along with this.”

“Because it is your wish.” He says it with such simplicity, his face as expressionless as his tone.

You sigh frustratedly, “Yes but—am I making you uncomfortable? You don’t have to pretend to be my lover. I have to admit I wasn’t thinking that this would happen when I made that wish.”

“So, did you have a male in mind then?” Jungkook’s expression turns even more grim as he shutters away his emotions. His large dark brown eyes are impassive for the first time since you’ve met him and you’re starting to miss the shine of those doelike lenses.

“Well, no. But, if I wanted my fake boyfriend to be Kim Namjoon, could you do that?”

“Who is Kim Namjoon?” He sounds so affronted, unable to believe that you could prefer anyone to him. Huh. You had the feeling that Jungkook was a cocky self-aggrandizing genie but you hadn’t realized how much until now.

“My celebrity crush.”

“What is a ‘celebrity’?”

You stare at him blankly, “So you weren’t out in the twentieth century either, huh?” 

When he frowns at you, those cute lips of his curving down, you hurriedly tack on, “It doesn’t matter, anyways. I just asked because, well— We don’t have to be ‘lovers,’” you quote Jungkook from earlier on in the day. “What if we just hung out as friends for the next ten days?”

“I would like that,” admitted Jungkook. “Although I’m not sure if that actually fulfills your wish.”

“Why not?” you pout. “What was the explicit wording of my wish, anyways?”

Jungkook looks away without answering you and then wordlessly marches towards the front door of the condo, expecting you to follow. 

The inside of the two storied structure is very rustic but clean. There doesn’t seem to be a lot of clutter, which you appreciate, but you wouldn’t call it minimalistic. It had a beachy European vibe to it with furniture pieces that had probably seen their prime in design in the late 90s. You actually like the old school feel of the place; it makes it feel more authentic. The place has about four bedrooms but Jungkook tells you that the two rooms the two of you will be sharing are right next to each other. 

When you walk into the place where you’ll be sleeping tonight, you are met by the sight of a white painted metal bed frame that has a lot of curlicues making up the headboard. The bedding looks comfy and clean which is always nice and the box springs and mattress look relatively new, providing a nice height and plumpness to your bed. There’s a massive pile of shopping bags and boxes stacked against the wall and you can only wonder if your attractive genie companion had gone into the trouble of making sure you would have a variety of clothes and necessities on this trip.

As you fiddle through the tissue paper hiding the contents of a bright orange Louis Vuitton bag, you are puzzled how Jungkook is both on top of and out of the loop when it comes to the 21st century. The male is on top of fashion but not famous people and you wonder what else he knows or is woefully oblivious about. You put on a cute russet brown bikini set that looks gorgeous on your honeyed skin; there is a large gold hoop connecting the two halves of your top as well as two matching hoops on the sides of your hips. You are currently pulling on a pair of Louis Vuitton shorts with cute pockets that are lined with a gold colored zipper and are almost the exact same shade of brown as your swimming suit but covered by the familiar and iconic pattern of interlocking LV’s with flowers in white, teal, orange, and light brown, just about having buckled in the cute strappy belt that comes with it when your door is unceremoniously thrust open. 

You stand, jaw slackened in surprise, as Jungkook walks into the room looking so colorful that you blink to make sure it’s actually him. His hair is now the pinkish red color of cherries and he's wearing a yellow T-shirt that has an opened shirt that looks like a white baseball tee over it, though the fabric is more airy and lightweight; the sleeves of his yellow top are tucked into the sleeves of the white one. He’s wearing navy blue swimming trunks and you love that he turned out to be the type of male that sticks to 5-7 inch inseams rather than wearing shorts that go down super low and cover his knees like you know so many men in your acquaintance to do. It baffles you; don’t they realize how ugly it makes their outfits look? 

Jungkook snaps his fingers to make a pair of black Ray-Bans with gold frames cover your eyes to match the ones tucked into his soft red hair and you notice the multitude of beaded bracelets adorning his wrist. 

“I haven’t gone to the beach in years,” you proclaim excitedly. 

Now that you two have settled that he’s a genie and you’re his mistress who gets to call all the shots, there is a sense of calm over the two of you and this wayward situation that you’ve thrusted the two of you into. He’s not acting the role of your boyfriend. He’s just someone you’re on vacation with and it makes it so much easier to relax when you keep that in mind. 

You eagerly reach out to grab his large hand in your much smaller one to tug him along with you, back outside of the condominium so that you two could eventually make your way to the beachfront. The male gives in easily, he engulfs his hand with yours and you can feel its warm heat cupping you comfortably. You give him a happy smile and proceed to pull him along with you which is much easier said than done because Jungkook finds it hilarious to drag his feet and stand his ground on the gravelly cobblestone streets so that he can laugh at your feeble attempts at strength as you try to move him. 

Jungkook is bored at the beach. You scowl at him. He’s being a party pooper, acting like a black hole that’s bringing down your excitement and sucking it all in. He has no idea how to relax. You had told him as much when he sighed as he sat down next to you in the little area you made him create for the two of you. There’s a cute blanket for the two of you to lie on and an umbrella if you no longer want to be in the sun. You even got him to materialize some books for you (you just had to tell him the author and title) but from the looks of his displeased frown when he discovered that nearly all of the books have raunchy covers, Jungkook’s not thrilled about your little omission. 

You glower at him. The blanket is massive with enough space for the two of you, yet Jungkook sits so close beside you that you’re almost halfway to the sand as you hover near the edge of the cloth. You slip your shorts off and put it on one of the beach chairs next to the two of you before flopping down again. You turn your body around so that you are facing the beach as you lie on your stomach, your elbows propping you up so you can read the third book of the Bridgertons series. 

“God, Jungkook,” you goad, “If you’re not going to do anything, can you apply my sunscreen on me?” It’s in the little tote you have with you.

Jungkook scrunches up his face as he scrutinizes you from behind the lenses of his matching black sunglasses. You had to put yours back on your head because you couldn’t read anything with how dark they made the page appear. “Why don’t you put sunscreen on me first?” 

“Jungkook, you don’t need sunscreen!” you whine. “You’re a genie. You don’t have to worry about the dangers of skin cancer and UV rays.”

“It’s amazing how often I have no idea what you’re talking about,” he muses as he huffs at you, going into your bag to pull out the sunscreen.

Perhaps because he’s unused to applying sunscreen on, you doubted the Joseon era (which was the last time he had been out) Koreans did because you were pretty sure it was invented in the early 1940s, he squirts what feels like half the bottle on your back. You screech at the cold aqueous feeling of the liquid as it trails down your figure approaching the barriers of your cute bikini top. 

“Jungkook!” you yelp. “Untie my clothes! It’s going to ruin them and leave ugly chalky marks on the fabric, you asshole! And you’re supposed to blend it into my skin so there’s no white cast.”

Jungkook places his hand against your back, cupping the deliquescent lotion and trapping it beneath his massive palm. One handedly, he undoes the tie to your brown string bikini, leaving your back bare as the cloth protects your minimal modesty in the front only. Ignoring what you had said about getting your bottoms ruined, he doesn't remove them, though you have no idea why. There’s not anyone near you on this long stretch of the coast. Instead, he just tugs it halfway down your ass. 

He moves his body so that his knees are straddling you on either side but since he’s lightly perched on your thighs, your uncovered ass is mere centimeters away from his crotch and when he moves to make sure that his hands are covering every inch of your revealed body with the sun block, you swear you can feel something large poking you at times.

His touch is feather light as his fingertips ghost along your back making you arch into him. His finger traces along your spine, making you keen lightly as you bite down on your lower lip to keep him from hearing you. His palms knead at the knots in your body as you still at the sensations he is pulling from your body. He’s being perfectly respectful, his hands stay on the length of your back, not moving under to canvas your breasts or slip down your hips or drift along the plump curve of your ass, yet somehow you are still mindless under his dexterous palms. 

Your eyelashes flutter closed, your eyes no longer able to focus on Benedict Bridgerton’s love story, as Jungkook massages the white cream into your skin with his strong hands. The male pulls his lip between his bunny teeth as he frowns when he hears your attempts to conceal the sounds that he is coaxing out of you. 

“Jungkook,” you pant out nervously, fearing how much further this can go if you don’t put a wise stop to it now. 

“Hmm?”

“I can do my legs,” you suggest. 

“Ah okay, Y/N,” he agrees. “But do you really want to spend the whole day reading that?” 

His face is twisted into a grimace as he glares at the upside down book you half opened to hold its place. 

“What do you want to do?” you ask getting up from the blanket and grabbing the bottle of sunscreen before squirting some on your hands to go over all the areas Jungkook hadn’t gotten around to.

“Do you want to go scuba diving?”

“Have you ever gone scuba diving?” 

“Of course not,” Jungkook rolls his eyes. “But I’ll try everything once.”

He whisks you two away to the Maltese island of Comino once you’re ready to call it quits at the beach. When you’re finally with the group of people who are getting ready to scuba dive with the instructor, suiting up and paying attention to the directions so they’re safe as they start to explore the reefs, lagoons, and underwater caves, you start to panic.

“Jungkook,” you mumble, edging closer to him and tiptoeing so you can whisper into his ear. The male turns his head to look at you, moving closer and instantly stooping down so you can easily state your piece. “Jungkook, I don’t feel comfortable scuba diving.”

“I’ll keep you safe, Y/N.” God, did you wish for the perfect boyfriend or what? Maybe drunk off her ass Y/N had something going for her. Even before, you had been tempted to make things get sexual as he was running those powerful hands over your pliant body, but you had managed to barely control yourself and keep yourself from shoving Jungkook down on the sand to climb over his body. It had been so nice of him to do that for you, very boyfriend, or as Jungkook would probably say, lover-like.

“Yes, I know,” you pause, deep in thought, before you continue, “but I don’t want you to limit your enjoyment because you’re so busy looking over me, trying to keep me from accidentally killing or maiming myself. Can we like do something a little more tame... like snorkeling? I don’t want to go so deep into the water.”

He gives into you easily, it doesn’t even take him a second to think about what you’re asking from him, and he readily transports the two of you onto a boat where a snorkeling class has already began to put on their masks and flippers before they make their ways to the edge of the boat to jump off. 

After watching the humans struggle putting on the equipment for ten or even fifteen minutes each, Jungkook decides it’ll just be easier if he does it for you so you don’t have to worry about if anything was worn improperly or unsafely.

He thinks you look adorable with the giant clear goggles; your long mane of hair squishes to your skull where the straps of the mask are pressing into your head and the lenses magnify your eyes making them look cute albeit a little bug-like. He quietly commands you to stop fiddling around with the snorkel; he knows you’re worried but he doesn’t want you to mess around with the pipe and accidentally disconnect what Jungkook had correctly set up for you. You’re waddling a bit in your large black and indigo flippers, attempting to pull your shorts off and get the holes through your suddenly enormous feet. You trip and Jungkook catches you, holding you against his bare chest because he had gotten rid of his clothes as well so he would only be in his swimming trunks.

“You okay?” he softly inquires, keeping you trapped within the heat of his comforting embrace. 

You can only squeak your reply, distracted about how his massive palms are so warm and almost entirely encapsulate your waist as he holds you up against him. There is something cool and metallic digging into your skin and your hand brushes against it. Was Jungkook wearing a waist chain? The male flinches away from your hold, stepping back instantly. 

“No need to worry about the jump or the water being too cold,” Jungkook murmurs, blatantly ignoring whatever had happened seconds ago, “I’ve got you.”

And in a flash, the two of you are underwater, surrounded by so much clean liquid that you can enjoy the greenish blue hue of the ocean and yet make out everything with such clarity. 

You frown when you notice that though Jungkook put on flippers he didn’t have a mask covering his face and making him look as distorted and ugly as you felt. It was so unfair; you have to look unattractive so you can breathe and not die submerged in the sea but Jungkook looks like a model with the water lifting his red locks and making them swirl around his head. Though he doesn’t want your eyes to focus on his waist, your gaze is immediately drawn to it, shifting their focus from the clean cut muscled edges of his eight pack, just barely able to make out the gold band that sits snugly around his bronzed skin, kept in place by the minimal flare to his hips, due to how your vision is slightly warped and distorted by your goggles. 

Jungkook reaches out to grab your hand, his long fingers wrapping themselves around your delicate wrist and he gently pulls you towards him, his lengthy legs swiftly flapping along as he propels his body around the water, taking you on his guided tour for one. Swimming side by side with Jungkook, you follow him deeper into the half submerged caves of St. Maria, your eyes taking in the mesmerizing schools of snappers and sea bream swimming around, ducking in and out of view when they travel around sandbars. You flinch into yourself, pulling away from Jungkook when you see a moray eel but the male just giggles, air bubbles releasing from his mouth as his chortles continue, his red hair a darkened burgundy cloud around his ears. He softly tugs you back to him and pursues on with the two of yours sea adventure. 

You gasp and clap excitedly when you see several cuttlefish and even a sand colored octopus, eagerly pointing it out to Jungkook, who only smiles when he notices your hand slip out of his again and then swims closer to the octopus to ooh and aah over it. Eventually, the snorkeling guide asks for everyone to come back onto the boat so that they can direct it over to a ship wreckage where you all will be allowed to go back into the sea to get a closer glimpse at the German minesweeper. 

The rusting boat is a little deeper than expected and you find yourself hesitantly waddling your legs in the water to keep yourself in the same unmoving position, while the rest of your class energetically flaps their legs to swim towards the ship, swimming further into the depths of the Maltese sea. Jungkook looks back at you from where he had gone to follow the crowd, his lips jutting out as he purses his lips, deep in contemplation. 

His eyes narrow as he looks at you consideringly though you’re absentminded in your persisting fear and have not become aware of his gaze in your direction yet. He smoothly paddles back to you, holding you with his warm palm pressed against the small of your back. You look up at him and shiver. 

Do you want me to help you? You know I wouldn't let you drown or have anything bad happen to you? You purposefully screw and unscrew your eyes shut, trying to make sense that this powerful genie possesses the ability to broadcast his thoughts into your mind because the two of you can’t speak in water. He probably has a more equipt way of dealing with that too but was choosing to exert less energy.

You nod brusquely and the male transports the two of you right by the wreckage where the rest of the class are enthusiastically swimming around and admiring the ruins of the World War II ship. Jungkook gently presses on your lower back pushing you forward to encourage you to explore the minesweeper on your own but you back up pressing yourself into his front, not even leaving an inch of space in between you. 

He looks down at you indulgently, tucking one of your wildly floating locks of hair behind your ear, as his hand moves away, it caresses the side of your cheek, making its way down. As you let out a longing sigh, he grips the underside of your jaw, tilting your chin up so he can remove the mouthpiece to your snorkel before he swoops down to capture your lips with his.

You’ve been yearning for his kiss since the moment you woke up and found your eyes enraptured by those pillowy coral colored lips, and Jungkook does not disappoint. They taste like mint chapstick and coffee as he hauls your body against his, one of his brawny arms locking you into his hold while the other works its way up while he winds his fingers through the drenched locks of your hair. As you continuously gasp in between every short kiss he slots over your lips, your hands travel across his broad shoulders and impressive back where you can feel flexing bundles of muscles beneath your fingertips. 

Tiring of the small abrupt pecks, Jungkook pulls you up, your legs instinctually wrapping around his hips as you meet him for a more impassioned kiss. You enthusiastically part your mouth, welcoming him and his tongue licks its way into that wet cavern, twining around your tongue as you both fight for control. You’re weak to the way that his lips mold against yours with its firm pressure, fitting against you perfectly. As you wrap your arms around his neck, holding on tight, Jungkook moves his hands to cup your ass, fitting you more perfectly against him. He gropes your butt fervently as your fingers snake themselves into his luscious locks. 

You can feel his curious wandering hands roving across the planes of your body as you lean deeper into the kisses, gasping when Jungkook releases you to let you catch your breath. But even then, your lips are still attached to his as he busies himself with nibbling on your plump bottom lip, not wanting to waste a single second. His fingers find themselves into the hidden space between your cheeks, gripping on them softly to spread them more apart and then he runs his index finger across the seam, traveling from your clenching asshole to your fluttering core. Your pussy gushes more and more with his every pass over it, not that he can tell with you both underwater. But surely he can sense that your clit is becoming more sensitive and engorged with the minimal simulation, eager for more. His fingernail catches on that little bud his next pass over and you moan loudly against his lips before accidentally biting down on the lower one impassionately. 

When the two of you break apart, he leans his forehead against your nape, licking over his bitten lip tasting the faint flavor of iron and sea salt. It stings a little, if he wants to be completely honest. But with a simple burst of his powers, the pain is gone and since Jungkook already has his face pressing against your neck, he uses the opportunity to dart his tongue into the shallow pools of your collar bones, lapping at them softly, his tongue moving across your throat to manipulate whines and keens out of you. Even as he does this, his focus is split and he finds himself nudging your copper colored bikini bottom to the side as he reveals your pussy folds to one of his questing hands. 

Jungkook grows daring as he nudges at your pussy with nimble fingers, thumbing your clit and pressing down hard enough to make you wail. His fingers dart across the furled petals leading to your throbbing core and he ghosts those appendages, letting you feel the sudden sensation of fullness before it’s swiftly gone like you imagined it. You’re writhing in his arms, sound travels differently in the ocean but he selfishly doesn’t want anyone to see your eyes rolling backwards as your mouth opens wide in an ahegao type expression. 

A red flush covers your tanned skin, travelling from your décolletage to your throat and Jungkook finds himself capturing your chin in his firm grasp. His thumb swipes at your lips repeatedly until you finally part them so he can shove it inside all whilst jutting two fingers in and out of your cunt deliciously. You gag around the appendage, saliva trailing down your lips and painting the sides of your mouth as you struggle to acclimate your body to the brutal and hectic pace of how he thrusts his fingers in and out your folds. 

With Jungkook’s promise to keep you safe, you don’t have to worry about sputtering and choking on salty sea water, instead you’re doing so on his thick fingers which are a pale and slim imitation to how his cock will feel in your mouth. With your focus so frayed and with him dead set on making you go mindless with lust, Jungkook turns his focus to his mouth, nipping his way down the neglected column of your throat, until he gets to your cleavage. Jungkook chooses to bite down on that golden circle connecting the two halves of your skimpy bikini, pulling at it with his bunny teeth before letting go again to have the swimwear bounce against your skin, stimulating your nipples and making them harden into beads. He kisses and tongues your breasts through the moisture resistant fabric, growling in frustration at its thickness that inhibits his abilities to inflame you even further. He nabs it between the hold of his clenched teeth and tugs, pulling at your top until only one cup is left maintaining your precarious modesty. 

With one of your breasts free from the cloth, Jungkook wastes no time to wrap his lips around it’s stiffened tip. His agile tongue swirls itself around, laving the hardened bud, and he gently nibbles at it, making you reflexively nip at his thumb. He has you wrapped around him both figuratively and literally, and he divides his attention, never forgetting to incite your pulsating pussy with forceful pumps of his appendages as he sucks on your breasts and lets you suck on the fingers to his other hand. There’s something about gagging on Jungkook’s tatted digits that has you raggedly inhaling through your nose and falling apart at the seams at all the attention your body is under. 

When you finally cum, you sag against him; your top is halfway down your abdomen and one of its straps is dangling by your elbow. Your eyes are still blown out from lust but you’ve calmed down somewhat though you're desperately trying to catch your breath, counting on Jungkook’s inexhaustible strength to hold you up beside him. You seem to be completely unaware of your surroundings and how the other snorkelers swim closer to the two of you since you are both breathless and a little disoriented from the heated kisses, and more, that followed.

Fortunately for your unsettled self, the male isn’t standing idle as you are, trying to make sense of your surroundings. He fixes your bottom so that it no longer digs into your soft curves and repositions it so that your pussy is completely covered. You float in the water and let him manhandle you like you’re his pretty doll, letting him secure up your bikini so your breasts are no longer exposed. He even reties it in the back for you before he puts your snorkel back onto your mouth. But as he does so, he bites on his lower lip, sucking his cheeks in as his eyes hold a glimmer of something that he’s trying to hide from you.

You irately raise your eyebrows at him as he finally lets out the laughter he had been holding in, in the form of a breathy chuckle. Sorry, it’s nothing, his thoughts are once again intruding your mind, it’s just I forgot you were wearing your cute goggles, that’s all!

Immediately you are still as mortification takes over your body, a frown adorning your features. And just like that, the moment is broken and you are no longer under his spell. 

In the afternoon, you two walk around the beachfront of where your condo lies, tired after scuba diving and wanting to engage in some low level, minimal effort tourism. Well, you’re tired; Jungkook has a boundless expanse of energy. He’s like an excitable puppy who takes on everything he sees as if it’s his first life although you know it’s not. But you suppose, if you were kept in a prison regularly for upwards of hundreds of years without any idea when your next chance at freedom was, you too would make the most of every opportunity that presented itself to you. 

Jungkook claps every time you pick up something that suits you and immediately buys it for you, flitting between acting the role of a supportive best friend and a sexy sugar daddy, but you’re into it, enraptured by the duality that suits him, giving him a cute glow to his dark brown doe eyes. After you end up with too many souvenir bracelets and little knick knacks, even a little pouch to hold your phone and money, though you aren’t likely to call anyone or need to spend any money during the next ten days, you cut Jungkook off from getting you anything more. You beg off for a chance to relax, maybe even take a midday nap which isn’t something you’ve done since you were in high school, before getting ready to go to the night time date that Jungkook promises will be even more spectacular. 

It’s about 6pm, and you’re all glammed up for your date with Jungkook. He’s taking his job of wooing you super seriously. You dimly wonder whether all genies are as competitive as Jungkook, striving for a 100% satisfaction guaranteed (which he certainly had done in the turquoise water earlier in the day). You had asked him about it during one of the rounds to the small kiosks around the open air bazaar, if you got to fill out a customer service report at the end of this entire experience. The male had narrowed his eyes at you, a slandered look of affront taking over his face as he wound up his arms together tightly and pointedly stalked away from you.

He seems to have mellowed out however. You could have sworn you heard him singing lightly as he went around his room, immersed in his tasks, talking to inanimate objects like the Disney character that he was. However Jungkook is a little bit petty, and had decided to withhold the location of your date tonight from you which left you with no idea of what dress code to aim for. 

You think you did pretty well, all things considered.

Your thick locks have been washed to get rid of all the salt that clung to them after your snorkeling excursion and you have it slicked back into a sleek half up half down hairdo that doesn't have a single hair out of place. Meanwhile, your makeup features smokey eyes and dark currant colored lips since you wanted your glam look to have an edge to it. 

Your outfit is made out of the contents of the packages and shopping bags that Jungkook had lined the wall of your room with, earlier in the day. You’re wearing a skin clinging Versace mini dress with a plunging neckline that barely covers your ass and is covered in glittery burgundy colored sequins. It makes your rack look fabulous which is only being held up with some nude bra pads, sticky tape, and sheer pleas for divine intervention. Meanwhile, your ass looks scrumptious and perky like you just got a BBL on this Maltese vacation. There are long strappy black Saint Laurent heels wrapping around your legs and lengthening the limbs making you look like an Amazonian queen. Gold Harry Winston hoops adorn your ears with a slim gold chain from the brand dipping into your cleavage while an assortment of rings from Chanel and Cartier adorn your fingers and offset the gold love bracelet banging against your left wrist. To put it simply, you look like a Goddamn fucking catch. 

After making sure that every detail to your look is perfect as you gaze into the full length mirror in your room and attempt tugging on the skirt of the Versace dress one more time, you leave your room to knock on the door to Jungkook’s room that is right beside it. 

The male opens it instantly, almost like he was waiting for you to knock and his jaw slackens a little as he takes in the full, lethal, image of you in your micro mini, with the tumbling dark locks of hair falling over your shoulder and your legs looking like they would look perfect over his shoulders with the strappy sandals still on, their thin stiletto heels digging into his back as he pounded you into blissful nirvana.

Like always, you remain oblivious to Jungkook’s ravenous and coveting glances. Mostly, it’s because you are similarly distracted. His hair is no longer cherry red or the blond that you think is its default; rather, Jungkook has long cobalt colored locks that get darker towards the roots framing his face suavely. He stands in front of you looking gloriously tall as he wears a slightly loose fit dark colored blazer that reveals a white tucked in shirt underneath and black cargo joggers to soften the formal look to his outfit. His black Prada Chelsea boots make him tower over you with their giant imposing soles. He has a few earrings in and a silver chain hanging from his neck that makes you wonder if it will clink against your nude body if the night ends with another bout of heated sexual exploration. When he offers you his hand, you notice that he has a few bands adorning his fingers as well. 

You allow yourself to get pulled into his embrace. He tucks you against his chest, your bare back hitting the soft cotton of his T-shirt, the fabric is so thin that you can easily feel the heat of his body and more importantly, every hard ridge of muscle. The waist chain is there too and you have figured out that it is probably what keeps Jungkook bound under the lamp’s control. No wonder he hates it.  

His arm is securely pressed against your waist, squeezing you lightly. He’s in a good mood and you are too. You’ll just ignore the fact that he’s an immortal and that he’s not actually yours. You two can play pretend for nine more days. While you sigh and your eyes softly shutter shut in contentment, he dips his chin into the hollow of your collarbone before he whisks the two of you away to the dinner that he had planned for the two of you.

You blink in confusion as you take in the new sight. 

The sky is turning purplish blue in the evening and from the looks of it Jungkook has just taken you to an empty construction site. There’s nothing but excavators, front loaders, and a bulldozer in your vicinity. The skeletal metal outline of a partially made building explains the presence of the class 8 vehicles. 

You gingerly step out of Jungkook’s hold, walking a full ten feet away before turning back towards him. Your head is cocked and your freezing fingers are gripping your hips as you place your hands on them. “Can you kill your master?” you whisper yell back at him hesitantly, “Is that allowed?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes before he scoffs, “No, it isn’t. Not that I would want to,” he side eyes you, “yet, anyway.” 

He says it lightly as a joke, obviously, but you let out a dry laugh of, “Ha. Ha. Ha,” to match his heinous sounding cackles as you glare back at him, full of indignation as you hold your ground, extremely nonplussed. 

“Get over here, will you?” he hisses, “Our date isn’t even here; it’s over there.” 

He points to a crane on the left and you squint in the direction, still baffled. “I don’t get it.”

Jungkook sighs with displeasurement before he transports in front of you and grabs you by the waist again. Within seconds you are transported to what appears to be a dinner table attached to a crane and Jungkook has already gotten you seat belted and safely harnessed into your seat. And to your even greater surprise, his comfy blazer is covering your arms, enveloping your body and keeping you warm as Jungkook’s discernible scent of delicate florals and rich sandalwood overwhelm your senses. 

He sits next to you because the table is long and rectangular and this is the only way to be close to each other. You have to twist your body to the left to face him but you don’t find yourself minding when you notice that there is a lovely grin on his kissable mouth and a lock of dark blue hair falling into his face that he doesn’t move away. The waiters as well as the safety instructors of this sky high restaurant suddenly reappear, from wherever it was that they were hiding, to bustle around the two of you, breaking the spell you had been under, hypnotized by Jeon fucking Jungkook. 

They fill up your wine glasses with a 1967 Burgundy and water, placing two baskets between the two of you that hold a variety of French breads. Jungkook gazes into your eyes from beside you, his palm pressed against his cheek. “Anything you want to try?”

You blink, flustered, as you take on the brunt of the heat from those glowing chocolatey orbs. You don’t think you have ever been in such close proximity to Jungkook while under such a thorough perusal. Your eyes immediately slide down and you focus your attention onto the menu that had been placed before you. Almost all of it is in French. 

You happily hum when you notice there is seafood, choosing to order the Moules-frites, mussels on a shallot and white wine sauce with shoestring fried potatoes. You murmur your request to Jungkook and he calls the waiter over to tell him your desire for seafood. Perhaps inspired by you, he orders salmon en papillote with beurre blanc, sauce vierge and sauteed asparagus. It sounds fancy but it’s just salmon wrapped in parchment paper that Jungook cuts open in front of you with a side of tomatoes dressed with vinaigrette, the French white butter sauce and asparagus. 

The two of you dig into your meals vigorously and you almost forget that you’re on a date as you sigh after every bite of the scrumptious meal that brings tears to your eyes over how amazing it tastes. 

Jungkook chuckles softly next to you, “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sound so happy.” There is almost a wistful tone to his remark.

You lick a drop of the white wine sauce off your lip before tapping your mouth with a cream colored cloth napkin. “Well, you’ve only known me for about a day,” you tease. “But I love food.”

“I do too,” admits Jungkook. You knew that. You had spent more time around food and eating today than you did over most weekends that you had off. And it was always so much food. If anything, you would’ve been surprised if he had said he hated eating and that it was just a necessary task he had to partake in to continue to be alive like some of the gym bros you knew. This time the wistfulness of his tone is more evident and you easily catch it in his words. 

“You can’t enjoy food?” you inquire, sharply. You’re aghast. You could never imagine living such an abhorrent half-life. This was primarily one of the reasons that you were anti-Edward during the Twilight craze of the 2010s. You would never give up on the pleasures that came from eating to exchange it for a life of drinking only blood for sustenance.

“I don’t need to eat food to survive,” admits Jungkook forlornly, “I can’t enjoy it at all; it's just mastication for me. Like I’m chewing on sawdust covered in spices. But I still do it. It’s the only way to remind me of my humanity. And it looks so good. I can smell it but it tastes like nothing much and I can’t savor it at all.”

You quirk an eyebrow silently. This was the first hint you had gotten into Jungkook’s person. He used to be human once upon a time. You don’t want to rock the boat so you don’t hedge for more details. 

“That’s horrible,” you cry out instead, visibly livid on his behalf. “Would it help if I ate for the both of us?” 

He laughs again and pushes his salmon towards you, “Only because I know how much you adore seafood. You won’t be able to get the wine or dessert away from me though,” he warns. 

You just grin at him and he returns a lopsided one at you, his eyes crinkle at the corners softening his gaze as his dimples make an appearance for the first time. You gawk at him, mesmerized by his gorgeous features. He’s so handsome. You wonder if he was this handsome before he was a genie or if being a genie amped up his attractiveness so you would fall under his lure like a siren with her prey. Nah, with your luck Jungkook was probably born looking like Adonis. 

You two eat in comfortable company, the conversation ebbing and flowing freely. You tell Jungkook about your job as an admissions counselor and the terrible guilt you feel when you can’t help one of your students accomplish their dreams of graduating from one of the best four year universities in the nation. Jungkook oohs and aahs while also making sounds of dismay at the appropriate moments. He’s a great listener; he’s super involved in the conversation and makes you feel important as though what you’re sharing deserves to get heard. You’re not sure how much of it is an act he’s putting on for your benefit to fulfill your wish and how much of it is him going above and beyond, but you greatly appreciate it. Today might just be the best day of your life. You’ve been treated like a queen the entire time. 

In exchange for sharing your little anecdotes you beg Jungkook to share something with you to keep the repartee going. With a groan he gives into you, and animatedly chats to you about the time he had a vampiress find his lamp.

You gasp loudly, “Vampires aren’t real Jungkook!” you can’t stop laughing. It’s a good thing you weren’t chewing because you would have spit out your fancy dinner all over the pristine white table cloth.

He wags his eyebrows at you with a cocky smirk painting his lips, “Oh? Are you sure? I mean I’m a genie, Y/N. It would make sense for there to be other magical beings besides me. I wasn’t born into existence as a genie, I was created.”

“Yeah,” you murmur softly, is this your moment to ask Jungkook how it had all begun? “Jungkook, I—”

 “Monsieur, mademoiselle,” one of the servers had returned with your desserts in tow, intruding on your conversation, “crème brulée à la lavande.”

He places two leaf shaped cream colored ramekins in front of the pair of you. You hum in astonishment as you take in the delectable looking lavender infused crème brulée with the browned sugar crust and the decorative buds of lavender on top. It smells faintly floral and you just know that when you taste it, your tongue is going to be in heaven, tasting the delicate yet complex layers to the dish.

Jungkook smirks at you cockily before he spoons up a sizable scoop of the crème and pulls it into his mouth, his lips pursing around the utensil until he sucks off all the dessert on the ladeled part. He hums his pleasure as his tongue rolls around in his mouth, sucking in the taste of the rich cream and the sweet sugar that is roped through it. His eyelids turn heavy and you have to suck in a breath when you realize this is probably what Jungkook would look like if he ate you out and was savoring the taste of your juices on his velvety lush tongue. 

You’re flustered but you can’t let him have the upperhand. You pick up the little dessert spoon and tap on the sugar crust, cracking it softly before you carefully scoop some of the confection onto your utensil, making sure to get both the hardened sugar and the smooth cream underneath.

You moan around it as you close your mouth with the first bite. You’re in heaven, you’re not sure you have ever had anything that was quite as rich or decadent as this before in your life. The velvety texture of the crème brulée swamps your tongue while the sugar melts into it from the heat of your warm, lush mouth. Your senses are heightened as you can taste every single ingredient that has gone into the dish and you inhale sharply before letting out another soft moan of satisfaction.

You wrap your lips around the spoon as you twirl your tongue around it to make sure you’ve gotten every last bit of the dessert off of it before you release from your mouth with a light pop. There’s a gossamer thread of spit connecting your lip to the spoon so you quickly dart your tongue out to break it. The male next to you shudders lightly, his breath hitches raggedly as he glares at you with hard eyes that have gone dark from the heat of his debauched desires. 

“Y/N,” he warns, groaning lightly, his tongue nearly poking a hole through his cheek in his irritation.

“Hmm?” you reply with faux innocence, determined to play with fire tonight. You don’t want to get burned tonight, oh no, you want much much more than that. You want to get consumed by the flames that have Jungkook within their hold.

You continue to eat up your crème brulée slowly, savoring each and every carefully scooped spoonful. Your tongue rolls in your mouth after each bite as you try to lick up all of the cream from the crevices before you go in for the next spoon. You’re not playing up your reactions by any means; it’s so delicious and rich, meant to be relished. And Jungkook is, figuratively, eating up all of the noises slipping between your plump sugar covered lips. His jaw is tight, lips thinned into a harsh line as he heatedly glares at you.

“It seems to me like you want something else to draw out those little pathetic sounds from your throat,” Jungkook grates, “until, perhaps, they are full blown moans of ecstasy.”

You still when you feel his long sinuous fingers gripping into the soft flesh of your exposed thigh. His palm is feverishly hot against your skin and Jungkook takes advantage of the fact that you’re wearing a mini dress to push your thighs apart and slip his hand in between. 

“Ju-Jungkook,” you stammer, letting your spoon clank against the ramekin where there’s still more than half of the dessert left. Your hands go to where his is cupping your cunt through the diaphanous black mesh thong you’re wearing from Agent Provocateur, you pull at his arm and attempt to take it off but you’re unable to shake the grip he has on you as his fingers stroke lines against the seam to your cunt through the thin, ineffective barrier of your panties. The pad of his index finger runs its path up and down until your pussy lips feel swollen, the folds sensitive and inflamed, as you slowly wet the mesh material until it’s practically invisible from how drenched it becomes. 

“What are you doing?” he hisses, his tone both gruff and lethal. “Get your hands off of me.” 

Your insides warm as you get aroused from his harshness and you let your hands fall off from where they were still attempting to pull him away. You already had a flush from the wine earlier heating your skin but now the blood crawls up your chest and rushes to your cheeks for a different reason.

“Don’t you have a dessert to eat, Y/N?” Jungkook mocks, pausing his fingers’ wickedly dexterous pursuit.

“I-I,” you stutter, “Y-y-yes, Jungkook.”

Your body was turned 90 degrees so that you could face him but when he raises an eyebrow that means ‘Get on with it,’ you instantly turn back around to properly face the dinner table and pick up your spoon from the ramekin with a shaking hand. You scoop up some of the dessert into your mouth and nervously close your lips around it, hyper aware of everything that is happening around you, on the tether hooks as you wait with bated breath for Jungkook’s next move.

He pinches your clit, invoking a squeal to slip out of your mouth as your walls flutter around nothing, clenching in dismay. “Why so silent, Y/N? Aren’t you enjoying your dessert? I think I’m going to feast on you though.”

“Mmpfh,” you moan behind clenched teeth, hurriedly swallowing down the velvety cream and spooning up another bite to place into your mouth, “It’s so good, Jungkook,” you gasp breathlessly.

“Good,” Jungkook grunts into your ear, he’s halfway out his chair, his body stretching over the small distance between your seats. His chest is digging into your shoulder and he has an arm, the one whose digits aren’t currently focused on stroking you into madness, wrapped around your back so that he can slip it around the front and hold your neck in it’s grip, squeezing it lightly in warning. Your breath catches in your throat and you gulp, able to feel every cold curve of each individual metal ring on his fingers lightly pressing into your skin. 

“You want to keep eating, Y/N?” Jungkook murmurs, hot breath tickling your ear as his lips brush against it before he pulls your delicate lobe between his teeth. 

“N-No!” you protest.

“Oh?” He quips. His voice has gone low and raspy, the tenor of his tone licking flames in the pit of your stomach, causing your nerves to tingle from anticipation, “Got something else in mind for dessert, princess?”

You pause hesitantly. The words are stuck in your throat.

“Go on, Y/N, tell me what my bratty spoiled princess really wants for dessert,” Jungkook growls, removing his long nimble fingers from the wet heat of your cunt when you don’t answer him.

Your hands immediately fly down, pressing down on his to keep it trapped between your warm palms and your waxed, bare mons. “You, Jungkook. You,” you wail, “I want you for dessert.”

“I thought so,” murmurs the genie silkily. He removes his hand from your throat, his thumb rubbing circles into the delicate flesh before his fingers move away to tuck a wayward lock of hair behind your ear. He unwinds his arm from around you, choosing to grip your chin, tilting your mouth up before meeting your lips in a fervent messy embrace.

It’s more desperate than sensual, a frantic clashing of lips as your tongues tangle with each other and your teeth almost knock against each other from the brutal force of the kisses. Jungkook drags your plump lower lip into his mouth, his teeth lightly nipping on it while he sucks until it feels raw and battered. His hand is tangled into your hair and he’s gripping on those locks tightly to maneuver your head in the exact position he wants. You ignore the pain erupting from your scalp as your palms freely roam the length of his upper body, slipping under the thin cotton T-shirt he had on to rake your long acrylic nails against his warm, muscled back. Your fingers travel up to his broad shoulders, gripping them under his shirt until you leave little crescent indentations from your nails on his flesh.

Jungkook shifts his lips from yours as he leaves you gulping for air, struggling to catch your breath. “My fucking selfish princess has bitten off more than she can chew on her quest to feast on everything she possibly can,” he murmurs, his hot breath fans over your cheek before he softly nips on the plumpest part of it. When you gasp at the sting, his tongue immediately darts out to soothe the pain as he licks up the side of your face messily. “Baby, you made a deal with the devil for these wishes,” he rumbles.

Your dress barely covers your chest which hectically heaves as Jungkook trails suctioning, bruising kisses down the length of your throat on the path to your breasts. The shimmery wine red cloth is barely hanging on to you as your hardening nipples struggle to keep them in position acting as the only thing holding them in place. The slippery cloth has almost fallen down several times, and you are millimeters away from suddenly exposing your entire upper half to the birds that are flying around as you sit on your sky high dinner date.

Jungkook’s strong agile fingers pull at the fabric as his mouth finds the large exposed expanse of cleavage available to him. He gently presses his lips on your soft warm skin before he parts them to leave hard open mouthed kisses on your breasts. When he’s finally able to get a strong enough purchase on the dress that he can pull it down to your waist, he deftly plucks the nude silicon pads off and flings them into the night sky before wrapping his lips against one of your hardened peaks.

His fingers are strumming at its twin while Jungkook sucks and sucks at your nipple like he thinks that he can get it to leak if he tries hard enough. That thought makes you still. An impregnation kink? You had never thought of it before but the thought of Jungkook fucking you with the sole purpose of breeding you and making you round and luminous as you carry his children, your breasts large and your curves plumper and softer than before has your heart beating loudly and erratically in your chest.

“Hey,” he complains when he notices you've gotten sidetracked in your thoughts. He bites down on your furled bud to draw back your attention, “Where did you go? Someone’s getting greedy. Do you need more, princess? Do you need me to do more so you’ll pay attention to me?”

“I,” you stammer. But Jungkook ignores you, he uses both of his hands to maneuver your skin clinging dress over your hips and then he tucks two fingers into the thin ribboned band of your underwear, pulling it away from your heated skin until the delicate mesh falls apart from his use of force, getting ripped straight off of your cunt. His jaw absentmindedly falls open a little as takes in the sight of your glistening pussy folds. 

“Oh, baby, you’re so pretty,” he murmurs. 

He plunges his middle finger in, going deep within your core as he curls it up, pumping within you so furiously that you can hear loud squelching sounds coming from your gushing pussy.

“Jung-Jungkook,” you whine. You need more. You need to be stuffed. “Jungkook, I can take more!” The last word comes out as a scream when he suddenly thrusts his ring finger and pinky inside you too. All three digits are assailing your insides, your core tightens around them, clenching hard but it doesn’t stop his intensity as he makes a complete mess of your pussy, wetness gushing out and dripping on your seat, trailing down your parted thighs. 

He has the side of his face pressed against your chest, your stiffened tips poking harshly into his right cheek as he glances downwards at the wreckage he’s created from the fruits of his labor. Your head is bent with your chin tucked on top of his crop of dark cyan hair, your long tumbling locks of hair falling forward to hide your expression as Jungkook makes you lose your mind underneath him.

“Your clit is so swollen, sweet girl, do you want me to rub it?” He asks, turning towards your breasts, rubbing his face into them, his nose tickling the valley between them. 

“Yes, Jungkook,” you urge breathlessly, “Please.”

His thumb and forefinger pinches that little sensitive bead, rolling it in between them before rubbing it side to side in a rapid, furious pace. “Or maybe it’s still not enough,” Jungkook wonders, “Do you want my head buried between those thighs as you ride your way to release or do you want my cock pounding you into submission, baby?”

Your mouth is hanging open, you can barely think, let alone put together a string of words that will have Jungkook satisfied with your reply. “Jungkook,” you pant, “I need—”

“Monsieur Jeon?” the waiter inquires after returning.

You still immediately, your head bending even further to conceal your body with your hair though you are already covered by Jungkook’s body on top of yours.

“Yes, Pierre,” Jungkook murmurs, not moving his face away from the comfort of your breasts. You hadn’t even realized that had been the name of your server.

“If you and mademoiselle are done with your dinners we can take you back to the ground.”

“Yes, thank you, Pierre. We would appreciate that.”

“I will go inform the team,” Pierre acquises, “Would you like for me to get more wine as we make our way down?”

“I think we are fine for now,” assures Jungkook. 

When the staff finally leaves you push Jungkook off of you, straightening up your dress, pulling it over your breasts and tugging it down to cover your bottom again. 

Jungkook merely smirks, purring, “You’re changing your tune so soon, princess? I take it you don’t want for things to continue when we’re on the ground then?”

You stiffly cross your arms over your chest, using them as supports under your breasts to hold onto the dress and keep it from slipping down and making you expose yourself to all of the sky high restaurant’s crew since Jungkook had gotten rid of your bra pads.

“Did you have to do that?” you demand.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, princess,” Jungkook fibs.

You roll your eyes, “It’s not enough that every time we do something it’s in public but you’ve started to destroy my underwear too.”

“Oh relax, Y/N,” Jungkook coaxes, “Your rack is spectacular and will be doing a more than great job of holding up your dress. You have nothing to worry about. And even if you did ever expose yourself to anyone you didn’t want to, I would just erase their memories for you.”

“My hero,” you simper sarcastically, tugging on his right ear.

The male narrows his eyes at you, consideringly. His front teeth nip at his bottom lip and you know that you’ve gotten yourself in trouble again as Jungkook thinks up ways to get back at you during the descent of the restaurant. 

When you are finally back touching solid ground, you are able to messily untangle yourself from the harnesses that kept you secured to your seat. You almost fall flat on the ground when you gingerly step off the platform you two had been eating on, towards the cracked pavement of the empty lot. Your legs had turned into jelly during their time up in the air, it’s a combination of vertigo and your legs still being shaky from having you edged to an orgasm that was woefully stolen away from you.

Jungkook immediately catches you in his arms, peering down at you softly before coming to a decision. He lowers himself, bending down to wrap his arms around your back and thighs more securely, before picking you up in a bridal carry. Your breath gets caught in your throat as you stare back at him after hesitantly locking your arms around his thick neck.

“So,” he hedges, moving his face forward so that he can nudge at your plump cheeks with his nose. “Should the night end here princess?” he asks, “Or do you want the fun to continue when we get back home?”

“Yes, please,” you quietly beg.

Jungkook gently brushes his lips against your forehead before escorting the two of you home in a whirlwind cloud of gold dust before you two suddenly reappear in the hallway in front of the two of your rooms.

“Are we sleeping in different rooms tonight?” Jungkook inquires, just to check that your mind hasn’t changed within the last two minutes.

“Take me to your bed,” you softly urge the genie as you upturn your face, your nose nudging against the thin scar across his left cheek. He swiftly traipses forward, his long legs reaching his door in one effortless stride. 

His room is similar to yours except his bed is bigger, you notice with envy, and his furniture appears to be made of black colored iron unlike the white painted pieces in your room. He sets you down in front of him as he goes to close the door.

“Jungkook, babe,” you call out to his back. He raises an eyebrow as he turns to face you again. “Can you help me with my zipper? It’s a little hard for me to get it down.”

The slim invisible zipper to your deep burgundy shimmery dress is located right on the topmost part of your ass since it’s a mostly backless piece. Jungkook crowds you from behind, his massive frame enveloping yours as his long deft fingers go to zip you down. You shudder as his knuckles brush against the warm sensitive skin of your back, each touch sending a lighting bolt of attraction shooting up your spine while causing arousal to pool between your thighs. When the zipper is halfway down, resting on the swell of your ass, you step out of his hold. 

You turn around to face him as you pull down on the thin straps of the dress, letting them hang around your elbows as your bust works overtime to keep the dress up. With a twisted smirk painting your plush lips, you shimmy out of the glittery wine colored fabric, letting it pool around your Saint Laurent encased feet before stepping out of the circle of clothing lying on the ground. You lithely stalk towards Jungkook, your hair a sexy mess around your shoulders, curling into your breasts and brushing against your nipples as you make your way to the genie, completely nude since he had gotten rid of all of your underwear a while back.

Jungkook’s eyes softly shutter close as you finally reach him, his eyelids fluttering as he raggedly takes in a deep breath. You look utterly divine wearing only gold jewelry and your long strappy black heels that make your sun kissed limbs look miles long. You wrap your arms around his thick neck, pressing your heaving breasts against his hard pectoral muscles, “Jungkook?”

His hands grip onto your hips pulling your smooth crotch against his clothed one as he backs the two of you into the door. His hard pulsating cock is pressed against your slit and it makes you whimper when you shift and the zipper to his pants hits your clit. He secures his arms across your ass, pushing you up into his hold, making your toes tip because even in your heels you’re unable to be face to face with him. The man is sexily and inconveniently tall. Balancing all of your weight on your toes and Jungkook’s arms, you stretch so that your face is aligned with his and you can comfortably kiss him. Your teeth grab for his plump lower lip and pull it between yours so you can suck on that lush flesh, agitating it so it becomes red, wet, and swollen.

A subtle growl starts low in Jungkook’s chest as he pushes your body even further up and as you lose your footing you tangle a leg around Jungkook’s hips. His other hand moves up to roughly capture your jaw in its hold, locking you in position as he aggressively meets your lips back. His kisses are greedy and all-consuming; Jungkook kisses you like he’s a starving man and you are his first meal in a long time. His hand, the one that's gently hanging by your ass, starts to knead the supple flesh and your breath catches in your throat as you let out a choked gasp. His fingers are right by your puckered sensitive hole and you’re reminded of the fantasy you had had the night before he came into your life. Of a man touching and stroking you there in that forbidden orifice and working you up. 

Meanwhile, his mouth is busy; his tongue is prodding its way past your lips, slipping in and licking a torrid path in the lush cavern of your mouth. It’s agile and long, and the strong wet muscle twirls with your own, easily taking control of your mouth. The sounds slipping out of both of your lips as you continuously meet each other for more and more impassioned kisses are obscene; they’re loud wet sounds of fervent hunger that grow more frantic as the kisses persist.

Your core is clenching around nothing and it has you rutting against Jungkook’s crotch like a bitch in heat, leaving a dark damp patch on the black fabric of his dressy joggers. Jungkook stops stroking and squeezing your ass to pull your other leg around his hips until your stiletto heels are digging into his butt and you are wrapped entirely around his body like a koala. He backs away from the door, his lips breaking apart from yours so he can look where he is walking and carrying you. You are still kissing him though; your lips have trailed down to kiss and bite along his jaw and neck, you even let yourself suck on his Adam’s apple which has him gulping and your lips stretching into a smirk against the flushed smooth flesh  of his throat, as you can feel every movement underneath the delicate skin.

He carefully drops you onto the bed, taking precaution not to fall over with you and crush you underneath his weight. You stare up at him, wide-eyed as your lips part with hunger and surprise at the change in position. His large doe eyes have gone black with lust, becoming heavy lidded as they travel up the entire length of your body with lazy glances. 

He steps in between your parted legs, his hands curling around your soft meaty thighs, dimpling into them with the pressure from his fingertips. “Let me eat you out?” he asks huskily, his tenor sounding ragged and raspy.

“Please,” you beg with wide eyes shining with lust. Your legs part even more to let Jungkook see just how wet your folds are.

He sinks to his knees before you, holding down on your thighs as he lowers himself to the ground. He places a flurry of light open mouth kisses against your soft thighs as he nudges them apart and pulls you forward so that your ass hangs off the bed and he can throw your legs over his shoulders. Your Saint Laurent encased limbs spasm against his back and the pointed heels dig into his white T-shirt making him grunt as he falls forward a little. 

You let out a pained whine when you notice Jungkook manages to catch himself right before he faceplants onto your cunt. He slowly lowers his face, nose tenderly nudging at your slit before he purses his lips and kisses at your folds. He gently mouths at the petals of oversensitive and swollen flesh, softly lapping at the juices that cling to them. You let out a shrill, frenzied moan when he flattens his tongue against your core, licking long and hot fat stripes down the opening. Your fingers snake into his damp indigo colored locks, drenched from his sweat, scratching your acrylic nails against his scalp as you attempt to push him down further into your crotch. 

He slides his hands up your warm thighs making your muscles contract at the sensation before he grabs onto your hips, guiding their motion with his grip. He lets you rock against his mouth frantically, opening his jaw wide as your juices that he’s unable to capture drip down his chin. You wail, letting out a desperate sob as he buries his face deeper into your cunt licking and slurping like a man maddened from lust. His nose juts against your swollen inflamed clit as his teeth clamp down lightly on your folds and pull at them gently, making you convulse and twitch as you mindlessly shove your pussy against him. 

“Is this good, sweet girl,” he murmurs huskily, “Is this what you wanted?”

He brushes his plush lips over your clit, teasing you, tempting you until he has your laser focus drawn to what he is doing. It’s then that he starts working on that hyper responsive bundle of nerves, teasing that little bead with flicks of his tongue, hard focused snaps of his wet muscle against the overworked bud. He’s giving you everything; his mouth wrapping around your clit, his lips gently pressing against it in faux respite, his teeth nipping it to draw out cries, and his tongue manipulating it to make you turn feral. He’s got you in the palm of his hand and it makes him realize that he’s been neglecting you in perhaps the most important way.

“Is,” his tongue jabs into your core, “This,” his teeth clamp down on your clit, inducing tears to spring from your eyes, “Good,” he slurps at your arousal noisily, repeating the question.

You frantically nod in his direction before you realize he can't see your expression with his face shoved into your pussy. “Ye-Yes,” you choke out, clearing your throat that's gone rough from the constant stream of screaming that Jungkook’s been able to pull from your lips. You think it subsides him but then he tilts his head in a calculating way that’s got you freezing against him.

He pulls away to draw your attention back to his face, you glance at him with glazed over eyes that are confused yet frustrated. Staring right at you with sleepy, hooded lids, he holds your gaze as he runs his index finger up and down your fluttering core, gathering up your juices on top of his finger, using the transparent ropes of arousal to coat his finger, lubricating it before he plunges it into you. 

“Jungkook,” your legs spasm over his shoulders as you accidentally hit his back with one of your high heels. “I’m gonna c— I’m gonna COME! I can’t— I can’t take much more of THIS!” Your hips raise up from the bed as you squirm, fucking his finger into you since he hasn’t started moving it yet. 

He stares at you consideringly, “Fuck my fingers Y/N,” he raspily commands, “Fuck yourself to completion.”

You still, momentarily unnerved but Jungkook uses his thumb to flick the nail of his middle finger against your clit, which not only pulls out an embarrassing keen from your mouth but also spurs you into action, rocking your hips in fluid motions as your core takes in the entire length of his index finger.

You whine in frustration, complaining, “Jungkook, this isn’t enough!”

“I’d say make it enough,” the male responds, “If I hadn’t been tempting you all night long. Consider yourself lucky, princess.” And with that Jungkook shoves three more fingers in you, pumping them into you impressively faster and harder than he had ever teased you before, almost inserting half his hand, a centimeter into his palm as well, into the cunt he stretched out during dinner. It’s a good thing he thought to do that since you would be struggling when he finally took you. 

Your vision turns white as your eyes almost roll backwards and your teeth chatter, knocking into each other due to the violent intensity at which Jungkook was impaling your pussy with his fingers. Your thighs quake uncontrollably as you’re finally pushed to the brink. With your voice crescendoing into a needlessly long and cacophonously loud scream, you reach an earth shattering climax, slumping down onto the bed, your legs twitching absentmindedly.  

The male gets off of his knees, the bottom half of his face is still glistening with the remnants of your arousal. He stretches, his broad shoulders getting rolled back, before he one-handedly pulls off his fitted white tee in a decidedly sexy manner. Your eyes immediately shift to his bare upper half when you hear the clink of metal and you find yourself staring at, for the first time, his golden waist chain. The gossamer strands of metal are wrapped around his thin, sun bronzed waist, practically blinding you with the shine from their yellow color that glitters as it moves with every flow and shift of Jungkook’s body. 

Jungkook doesn’t let the chain hold your attention for too long, immediately distracting you as he unbuttons and undoes the fly on his dark cargo joggers. He lets the fabric hang loose around his hips as he palms his massive shaft though the black cotton of his Balenciaga boxer briefs. He rubs the bulbous tip of his cock through the thin fabric of his underwear as he toes off his imposing spiky heeled Chelsea boots. Once the shoes are off, he gently tugs on his pants, letting them pool around his ankles and stepping out of them.

He walks towards you almost nude except for the briefs that cling to his muscley thick thighs and show how pronounced his dick is as it struggles to pop out from behind the band. There is a cocky smirk painting his lovely coral colored Cupid’s bow and his nicely shaped eyebrows quirk in challenge as he steps in your direction. You groan in impatience and need as he stands in front of you, legs spread hips’ length apart. A light chuckle sounds from behind the plush lip he’s biting hard as he pushes down on the black elastic band of the underwear and his massive cock, which you have only felt against you but never seen before this moment, bounces out from the confines. He’s larger than you dreamed he could be, and you know better than to assume that Jungkook, fiercely competitive and authentic as he is, would increase the size with magic. 

Your hips are already subconsciously gyrating against the air as you take him in with a slackened jaw and numbly hanging open mouth. It’s girthy and twitching lightly, slightly bouncing as it stands proud free from the confines of pants and underwear. The mushroom tip is swollen and flushed a dark berry red. The thick protruding vein you wanna nibble on, runs along the underside of the cock and is more pronounced, becoming easier for you to see, when he holds up the shaft to rub at its bulbous head to work precum out of it, make the white viscous liquid bead from the tip. 

His cock is fucking pretty, and you want to suck on it, but a quick glance at the male reveals that he’s too impatient to let you do that now and just wants you to take him in. You can’t blame him after he’s gotten you off about half a dozen times over the course of the day without having blown off some steam himself. 

The tattoos along his arm seem to pop against his sun kissed skin as he strokes his cock which swells at the stimulation. “Ready princess?” he asks quietly.

“Please.” You beg a repetition of the one word that always finds its way easily to your lips when Jungkook is working you up. 

He guides his cock to your gushing slit, brushing the mushroom head against your folds, rubbing it into them causing his precum and your arousal to combine and mix. He slaps his head against your clit a few times before he deems you sufficiently drenched and ready to take him in. He slowly presses the round tip into your folds, hunting for your opening, his veiny hand guiding his shaft’s path. Slowly it breaches you, causing your mouth to fall open as a sex crazed look takes over your features. You moan a long, wanton sound at the intrusion, even though Jungkook took his time preparing you, it’s been more than a year since you’ve fucked anyone. With one hand still directing his cock, he uses the other to grab your hip to gently lift it up so he can palm the small of your back and push you up towards him.

You meet him eagerly, squirming as you help him get you up, throwing your arms over his shoulders and holding onto his neck with a deathgrip. He slowly moves the hand from your back to run along your hip and then your thigh so that he can wrap your curvy leg around his hip. Pulling your leg up had another advantage as well, now he can more easily enter you and he slams into you, impaling you with his cock until he is fully sheathed and your waxed bare mons meet the nicely groomed dark patch of hair on his pubic bone, your pelvises flush against each other. 

You can feel the ridges of his shaft sliding along your walls as they clench around him, letting you feel every bump and vein. “A-Ah,” you stutter as a mewl slips from your panting lips. “Jung—JUNGKOOK,” you cry out as his cock twitches within you and the tip just barely hits that elusive g-spot.

“Fuck,” he grunts before a guttural moan breaks out of him. 

“God, princess. This is what you wanted all along didn’t you. The entire day you’ve been teasing me. Tempting me with those fucking sly smiles and suggestive looks. You didn’t want a fucking considerate boyfriend you wanted a rude libertine to blow your back out. Isn’t that right—princess,” he hisses through his clenched teeth.

You’re unable to answer him as he quickens the pace, slipping in and out of you furiously, taking his cock almost entirely out with only his fat tip in you before thrusting manically again, pounding into your pelvis, battering up your insides and making you turn into a boneless pile of goo.

You’re practically drooling at this point while your eyes are shiny from the tears that come from his frantic impaling as he jackhammers into you. Your mouth is hanging open and he smacks the ass cheeks he’s been gripping onto this entire time when you don’t give him a reply.

“This.” Smack. “Is.” Smack. “What.” Smack. “You.” Smack. “Wanted.” Smack. “Isn’t it, princess?” he growls, ending off with one last smack.

“Yes, Jungkook!” you sob, “This is what I wanted!” You’re inconsolable as he continues with the frenzied onslaught of sex. 

He hauls you up even further, he had one arm hugging your lower back as the other focused on keeping your thigh firmly locked around his waist and then you’re bouncing on his cock in midair, the metal of his waist chain poking into the soft skin of your tummy every time the two of you met into the middle. It’s a good thing he’s helping you stay attached to him because with the way he is bending you over, making your back arch as he attacks your breasts and neck with impassioned bites and kisses, you would have fallen right off of him without the extra support.

He makes his way up to your mouth, peppering your skin with sucking kisses before finally reaching it and wildly attacking your lips with his in a messy frenzy of teeth and tongue. After what seems like long interminable moments, he finally releases your lips with a wet pop. There’s still a string of saliva connecting the two of you that breaks when he parts open his mouth and whispers sweetly against yours, “That’s all you had to say, princess.”

He picks up the pace as he buries his face into your neck, dead set on leaving a bruising hickey that will remain for several days. You press your lips against his crown, his blue hair tickling your nostrils as you attempt to silence your cries against his scalp. His hold on you tightens like he never wants to let you go, keeping your sweaty body clinging to his, his biceps flexing as he grips onto you and jackhammers uncontrollably, losing all signs of rhyme or rhythm, just knowing that he wants to be buried in your heat forever.

“Say you want this,” he demands. “Say you want ME!” The last word is punctuated by a brutal thrust that hits your g-spot perfectly and has you crying into his hair. 

“I want you,” you sob, “God, I need you Jungkook.” Your breasts are heaving against his hard pecs, your nipples dragging along the smooth solid planes of his chest as you struggle to get your words out.

If you could have seen Jungkook’s eyes at that moment, you would have seen how they turned reddish black, the color of molten lava as a look of pure possessiveness took over his features. But since you can’t see his face, you’re unaware of how your genie is falling for you just as easily as you are falling for him. 

The loud sounds of his balls hitting your skin resound through the bedroom and Jungkook never lets down on the pace. He fucks you into submission as you hang off of him, jellylike with no control over your spasming limbs. Jungkook takes your well timed bout of flexibility to maneuver your legs off of his thighs to hang off his elbows as he wraps his arms around your knees and has them circle behind you. This new height and shift in position has his hip rolls drag his cock through your folds in a more enticing manner, working up your engorged clit with every pounding. You almost forget that he’s no longer hitting your g-spot as you shriek loudly, your poor clit sobbing at the new brutal onslaught of stimulation. 

“Jungkook,” you keen, “God, Jungkook. I don’t know how much further I can go.”

“I’m sure you’ll keep up,” he hums meanly, as he pistons his hips again and again. You’re writhing against him, barely able to roll your hips to meet his every thrust anymore. You feel like you just ran a marathon and you’re approaching the last yard. The end is near and you can sense it with how overheated your body becomes and how you wince and whimper at every move Jungkook makes, able to feel every drag of his magnificent cock through your core down to what feels like the cellular level. Your walls keep clenching onto him tighter and tighter as well, reluctant to release him from their hold and he finds himself putting in even more effort into every snap of his hips.

“You’re almost there aren’t you, sweet girl,” he mumbles against your throat, biting harshly along the delicate skin under your jaw and pulling at it with his front teeth. You can only let out a wordless amalgamation of sounds erupt from your throat as you moan. 

“Let me take you there, princess,” he mutters, “I’ll be your guide, darling.” He bucks into you one last time and he’s almost done it. He’s sent you there to that precipice. You’re hanging on the high but you need to come down. All it takes is one pinch from his clever fingers to your bruised clit as he bites down on your shoulder and you’re there, screaming as you hit your release, gushing around him like a broken sprinkler while Jungkook soothes the abused flesh with soft kitten licks from his tongue, his cool saliva covering the tender area like a balm. 

As you hang of his body, your head sagging against his chest, arms no longer bothering to hold onto his neck, the male lets a faint smile grace his lips, holding you up with his impressive strength, gently rocking his cock into your drenched folds a couple more passes over before he explodes inside of you, painting your walls with his hot viscous ropes of white cum. 

You’re practically asleep in his arms when he’s struggling to pull his shaft out of your fluttering folds that still want to keep it sheathed in their slick embrace, warming his cock with their heat, but he persists, gently dragging it out. The amount of cum that flows out from between your thighs after that is almost obscene. 

Jungkook looks back at his bed before glancing at the mess the two of you have created and decides that the best thing to do right now would be to magically make the liquid disappear before also cleaning you two up like you two had come straight out of a shower. Once your skin is glowing and clean, he gently lays your body down on the right side of his bed, carefully making sure that your head is correctly positioned on the fluffy pillow before covering up your nudity with the silk comforter. 

He walks over to the other side and slips easily into bed, facing the ceiling as he reclines next to you, pondering something. He seems to finally come to a decision and the lights flicker off, swamping the room in darkness, as he turns over to face you and drags your body into his so that your ass is pressed against his front. Throwing an arm and a leg over your form that is loose-limbed in slumber, the male comfortably spoons you before he plunges into sleep as well. 

This work is licensed under the Creative Commons Attribution - Non Commercial - No Derivatives 4.0 International License

©OPALJM 2021

[camileeon]

Hello!!! So first off I wanted to say CONGRATULATIONS FOR 200 :DD YOU GREW SO QUICKLY AND ITS WELL DESERVED [make sure not to burn yourself out tho !!]

Secondly I wanted to submit something for the dialogue prompt! A.17 "you make me want to be a better person" With camilo x gender neutral Reader. For specific details the reader has have a negative view on the world cause of their own bad experiences and cause of that it affected them socially like being cold to people, being passively aggressive, not really giving people a chance, not being open minded, Until they met camilo who help changed their view

SORRY IF THIS ISN'T SPECIFIC ENOUGH OR TOO SPECIFIC THIS IS THE FIRST TIME IVE EVER SENT A ASKHGHDHWVDJW

HAVE A WONDERFUL DAY/AFTERNOON/NIGHT <3

UNDER THAT SAME STARRY NIGHT.

🍵- “ all i need is you.”

🦋- GN!Reader x Camilo Madrigal

🍊- this took awhile but it was very much worth it! Sorry for the delay on this, wrote this in one sitting :D hope you like this one! @ghosts-garden <33 -ceres !

• note: may be of mentions of triggering scenarios and emotions but it's all pure fluff <33

[•••]

Grey clouds loomed over their lives as soon as it happend, an uncomfortable blanket hugging them tightly as if it drained every single source of light in them. Their eyes hardly showed a shine in them as all you could've seen was just a blur of darkness but could hear the cries of wanting to get out of out such a lonely depressing abode..

Their life wasn't the best and it would've affected anyone if others were in their shoes, y/n's parents parted ways at the age of 12 and at that exact moment it seemed like the world turned against them. Always seeming to screw up and being unable to do things that they used to do well, progressively finding themselves sinking deeper into that negative void that grew to hurt in their chest. Starting to lose control of how they reigned their emotions, snapping at the lightest flick and made quite the fit once something doesn't go their way. They were angry, confused, hurt, sad? Y/n couldn't even bother to relocate themselves and made the effort to and just grew to endure that way, thorns of guilt and different emotions poked deeper into their chest as they matured in age. Feeling so enclosed and so lonely inside that invisible capsule they stayed in and pushed everyone away, their words being fairly blunt with it's huge fair of sarcasm on the side was their usual response but not until that specific day when they met him.. the one who had the potential to "change" them.

Y/n ran their usual daily errands, avoiding as much people as possible so they wouldn't have to speak to anyone. But it seemed lady luck wasn't on their side that afternoon.. or was it?

The shapeshifter noticed the blunt faced mariposa struggling to carry a few big boxes, swooping in almost immediately to help them out and to maybe even attempt into making them smile. As encanto clamors, word spread fast like wildfire, fortunately his ear caught one of the many "rumors" towards y/n's family. The parting parents and how they matured and growing into it made him a little sad to think of, hardly having anyone in their life for the most part and had lost the glow of happiness in them. But it didn't stop him from trying to help them out, to return all they've lost during those torturous years.

He gave them a hand with the boxes and put them to the side and gave them a glance

“you seemed to have a hard time with that.”

He nervously said looking down to the pavement under him, feeling their eyes on them while his ears slowly flushed red. He felt a little intimidated, glancing up at them for a second. As for the first impression, they were pretty.. like really.. pretty.

“ah.. thank you i guess, but i was fine.” they bluntly responded, he didn't expect anything other grand than that but continued to follow them around.

“you're y/n right? I've seen you around, i didn't have the chance to speak with you yet have i?”

“you do seem to be so busy after all, you and your familly and stuff.. do you need anything from me? Why follow?” they genuinely questioned, confused on why he'd even bother

“ Like i said, i haven't spoken to you yet. Who knows you might actually be fun to be around with.”

“me? Fun? I think you've gotten the wrong person. You don't want me to make you leave so maybe go when you can.”

“Ahh pity, i've ran into you already. Nothing can stop me from doing it again and again and again.” he sighed dramatically walking backwards as he neared them, the smug irking expression on his face he proudly wore. They could tell how the boy was such the talk of the town, walking away from them backwards before tripping? on a handsized pebble. Letting out a groan of pain as they couldn't help but chuckle lightly, trying to keep their smile hidden by looking away but fortuantly for the shapeshifter he saw it just in time.

“i made you smile.. I made you smile HAHA!” He exclaimed triumphantly, pointing at them as they just responded with a playful eyeroll.

Something told the boy in yellow that he's got a chance at this.

Ever since that day, the two had their fun day by day. Camilo noticed how much expressive they've been acting, sure there were still sarcastic remarks from here to there but they have just changed so much just by his presence. They smiled so much more, the tightened wounds starting to heal as the thorns that grew pricks vanished as time began to pass when they were with him, their heart felt so light and everything just felt so right. Every wound healed into a scar, nothing clogged their blurred vision on things and they could be themselves and control how they felt again like before, and it was all thanks to this one person.

One day like any normal one for the madrigals, Camilo ran his errands and did most of his chores like he needed to. Deciding to get the mail for the day since nobody had gotten it yet, looking through the letters and which relative it was addressed to..

One was addressed to him from y/n..?

Reading the bare yet simple minimal letter there states,

___________________________________________

Meet me on top of the red gated residence near the town's square at midnight, I'll be waiting.

Y/n. (< 3)

___________________________________________

There he noticed was an barely erased heart at the end of the ivory paper, he couldn't help but feel his heart race and smile ever so happily at the letter he held in his hand. Definitely keeping it in a safe drawer where no one else could've accessed it except him, that same night went by like a snap. He ate dinner quickly as possible, making sure he wasn't acting suspicious for his family to notice and tried his best to act "normal". He was ever so restless, constantly moving and tapping his foot on the ground as he pondered deeply, checking the clock almost every hour as he waited for midnight to strike so he could sneak out the best he could.

When the time was right he carefully slipped his sandals on and wore his usual ruana when going out, making sure he made no noise as he crept through the long hallways of casita. Careful not a thing would've creaked or make a noise that'd cause him to bolt out like there was no tomorrow, fortunately he safely slipped out the house and ran to where the designated location indicated. He jogged towards the town's square and looked for the unoccupied town house with the red big gates and climbed on top of a tree to get on it's roof to see them already there waiting, quietly sitting beside them while they watched the peaceful night sky for a few minutes before they started to speak, facing him in the process.

“Look.. i need to be really honest with you.. first, i wanna apologize for being really unlike myself the first time we met.. but i'll get straight to the point. You've made me see things i haven't seen within myself in years.. you've plucked out the thorns that dug deeper into my heart for the past few weeks we've hung out together and i'm so grateful but the point is..” they stop for a moment as their emotions finally got the best of them, the sigh of relief escaping their lips as tears fell from those blunt eyes he loved ever so deeply. He came closer to hold them in their arms, cupping their cheeks while y/n had placed their hand on his as the distance between them closed ever so slowly..

“you make me want to be a better person..” they added as he watched a gentle smile on his face appear once those words came out of their mouth, resting on eachother's grasp for support.

“ you already are one and I see it ever so clearly, i am so proud of you for making it this far.. it must've been so hard mi amor.” he says, realizing he blurted out the nickname he hadn't yet to use on them but it didn't seem to bother them. A few more tears fell before a smile curved on their lips

“say that again, i loved it.”

“i'd be more than happy to repeat it until either of us gets tired of it, which never going to happen by the way.” he says glancing down at their lips, waiting for a signal of permission but instead was pulled in by his collar by them to close the distance that was left with a kiss.

Both eyes fell to find it's way to shine once more, as if it were lost stars that found its way back to eachother again in the lonely but comforting pitch black sky.

TAGLIST;

@destinydrawssometimes

@camilolovesroxiie

@i-more-need-books

@aphrodicts-imagination

@s1mpystuff

@dai-tsukki-desu

@pepasfavorite

@kaxiaowow

@azrielxx

@l-e-m-o-n-g-a-y

@astroddon

@try-cry-why-try

[thetwofaced]

Okay but like. We need to talk about ppl shuffling the team assignments in Naruto. why the hell would you do that it makes no sense ?

Like seriously. Think about it for a minute.

Team 8?

A tracking team why you ask?

Aburame Shino and his kikaichū

Kikaichū are best used for tracking or ambush by draining their target of chakra (useful when tracking an escapee that needs to be captured)

Inuzuka Kiba - I mean come on. They are known for their sense of smell. Again as demonstrated by kakashi in the wave arc a great sense of smell helps tremendously in finding someone despite harsh weather conditions or distance.

With Kiba comes Akamaru and I don't need to point out how useful he is I think.

Lastly Hyuuga Hinata. I got one word for you. BYAKUGAN

Team 10

Predominantly a capture and intel gathering team

I'll start this off by pointing out that they have basically been groomed to work together! Hell its the same thing they later do in Boruto even if I personally hate Boruto, you can clearly see the mindset behind it. WHY would you , as a military dictator - and thats what the Hokage is essentially- why would you disrupt a team thats already adapt at working well together ???

Now. Akimichi Choji. The muscle because honestly they need him. Be it to protect Ino and Shikamaru or to launch an assault attack or provide bait for Ino and Shikamaru to use their Jutsus. Plain and simple. Not to mention someone needs to keep the peace between Ino and Shika sometimes.

Yamanaka Ino. Now listen I get she can be annoying. I do. But. The potential this girl has is scary. She is after all the daughter of Inoichi and like -he works in T&I guys. With ppl like Ibiki and Anko. Yamanakas can not only take over your body (think of all the information they can gain with that! Without putting their team at risk! All I say is the chunin exams) No, Yamanakas can also invade the mind. And if that's not god damn scary and practical I don't know what is. Perfect for infiltration and Intel gathering. FIGHT ME add to that that she is one of the few able to actually motivate Shikamaru do do something other than laze around.

Lastly we have Nara Shikamaru aka the god damn genius with an IQ of 200. Over 200 if Asuma is to be believed. Hes a tactical genius, realistic in his approach and in his and his comrades abilities. Adapt at planing several steps ahead and predicting his opponent's behaviour. There is a reason why he made Chunin so early and why Ino and Choji trust and listen to his commands. And then remember the trapping abilities of his clan shadow jutsu. And the advanced techniques he later learns that enable him to kill with his shadows.

Aaah team 7.

The disaster. I'll start this off by saying that not one person on team 7 is mental stable or sound.

Still let me explain how they were INTENDED to work in my humble opinion.

Frontal assault team.

Uchiha Sasuke. Taijutsu proficient, top of his class. Smart. The second genius of his generation. While not as adapt at tactics as Shikamaru he learns quickly , has fairly big chakra reserves and a drive. Hell this boy learn a fire jutsu at the age of 7. Aka hes good at ninjutus as well. It is no secret that Kishimoto loves the Uchiha and it shows. And that's all before he awakened his Sharingan and the fact he is the last loyal Uchiha left in the village (by the time they form the teams and to the publics General knowledge)

Uzumaki Naruto. The ninjutsu powerhouse of team 7 simply because he is a ) an Uzumaki who were known for their big chakra reserves and b) he's the god damn jinchiruki od the kyuubi. Let's ad to that that I am still mad no one thought to capitalise on his prankster mentality by introducing this boy to traping because God damn it . This boy regularly pranked an entire shinobi village while wearing a bright kill me orange jumpsuit and he rarely got caught. Hell this boy stole the forbidden scroll. Out of the hokage tower. At the age of 12. And learned a kinjutsu in the matter of hours. Who caught him ? Iruka. Why? Because he was the only one who knew him well enough. God damn anbu didn't manage. Ad to that his ingenuity. Naruto is good at coming up with tactics on the fly by thinking outside of the box something that is shown in Shippuden when him and Sakura go against Kakashi,defeating Kakashi not by fighting him even tho that was what kakshi expected but by beating him using his knowledge of Kakshis love for Icha Icha. Boy was robbed of a good education and nobody can tell me otherwise.

And last Haruno Sakura. Book smart, good at retaining information. Have I mentioned perfect Chakra control ? She got the tree walking exercises in one go. Her place on the team is support provided either by Genjutsu or medical ninjutsu.

Lastly it is important to note why team 7 got Hatake Kakashi as their sensei. There are - at the time of team 7s formation- exactly two shinobi in the village that are able to control the kyuubi. Kakshi with his sharingan and Tenzo aka Yamato trough his mokuton abilities. Jiraya would probably count as well but unfortunately for everyone he's kind of busy outside of the village the god damn coward. Tenzo is in anbu and to valuable in his current position so Kakashi got the job. He also got Sasuke because Kakashi is the only Shinibi left in Konoha able to teach Sasuke how to use it. Sakura got thrown in because her grade were good.

And thast on my rant why in my opinion it makes no god damn sens to change the team members in Naruto. Does it mean I think this isn't flawed as hell? Oh Hell NO! I love Kakashi. I really do. But I'm under no Illusion what so ever that he was a shity teacher. He ignored Sakura, and Naruto and focused mainly on Sasuke. Not saying I don't have a theory why that was but we all know that Kakashi was in dire need of therapy before he even made Genin and it shows. He's not fit to teach. Then again its not like there's many other options left considering the situation. But maybe I'll cover that in another post who knows.

Edid:

Something I felt I needed to clarify after a conversation that I had with @hotarukanzaki 😂 I am well aware that Kakashi is not able to control Kurama. All im saying is that I personally think is was thought that he would be one of the few thought to have a chance of doing so should the need arise

[creepyscritches]

kinda weird question but im in college rn and thinking about careers and future stuff (not fun) and was wondering if i could get a brief explanation of your job? i read your posts on medical coding and systems and stuff and it sounds really interesting i just dont always follow along very well. if you dont wanna totally cool tho!

Yeah ofc I'd love to explain my job for you!

The general term for my profession is a "medical coder". My purpose is to take documentation providers create for their patients' encounters and then abstract/determine a variety of different codes to describe diagnoses, labs, imaging, etc.

The rest is under a cut since this got a bit lengthy.

There are 3 manuals available for the profession where these codes are found: ICD-10-CM (diagnoses), CPT (procedures), and HCPCS (medical equipment/supplies). Not every specialty uses all the manuals, for instance I only use the ICD-10-CM for my role since we're identifying the high cost + chronic/life threatening conditions that providers and insurers receive additional federal funding to cover the cost of care for--or in simpler terms, I do a type of coding called risk validation. In the past I've worked with the CPT and ICD to code for providers working in the ICU and acute care hospital setting. I've also worked exclusively with an oncology clinic that had its own specific coding needs. It's a very versatile field!

To enter the profession, the first step is to acquire your credentials. There are two main organizations that maintain coder credentials: AAPC and AHIMA. AAPC is the standard and what I'm credentialed through, but AHIMA can also be attractive to potential employers depending on their needs. I'll explain the AAPC process since I'm not familiar with AHIMA's credentialing process.

AAPC (website) has a base CPC credential--Certified Professional Coder. Your first 2 years will be under the CPC-A credential to mark that you're still an apprentice coder, but after 2 years of professional experience or some special education options, you drop the A and are a fully fledged coder. The apprentice years are spent doing the equivalent of scut work, but it's a great opportunity to try out different specialties to find a comfortable fit. You have to be a member to get your credential and every coder pays annual dues to maintain their statuses. They have a student membership as well for a discounted rate.

Every credential, including the CPC, is earned via a certification exam. They're pricey upfront, but each exam purchase comes with 2 attempts. When I got my certifications, the exams were 5 1/2 hours, but I recently heard from a colleague that the AAPC shortened the exams by a couple of hours and reduced the question count. Every exam is multiple choice and open book, meaning you can take your personal manuals with you and can even write literally anything you want in them to assist you--you just can't staple anything in, it's gotta be written. There are blank pages in each manual reserved for notes, so there's plenty of room to write. The exams are pass/fail, so as long as you score a 70 or higher you'll receive your credentials.

There's no schooling required, just the certification. Luckily there's medical coding courses available to prep you for your exam that are available at tech schools, community colleges, and other institutions. They're in-person and online for your convenience. Most are taught by seasoned coders that understand what the current exam environment is like, so the exam isn't foreign when you take it. I learned the ICD manual on my own, but took 2 night classes to get me up to speed with the CPT and HCPCS and was able to pass. I believe my classes were around $200 - $300 each and they even counted towards my apprenticeship credits.

I was actually in college on a full ride when I made my career pivot. I left school and focused all my time on learning medical terminology, anatomy, and the ICD manual--there's online resources to help study like study guides, work sheets, and even mock exams. I'm very happy with my decision to leave school for this career, but it is something you should put some thought and further research into in relation to your goals. The job pays well, but it would be a nightmare for someone who doesn't like to read or pick apart diagnostic information. I love medicine, but can't handle blood, so it's a perfect middle ground for me.

It's a great field to join and coders are very friendly towards each other in general, especially to those working for their first credential. The AAPC has local chapters who host regular meetings. It's a great place to get education credits, network with others, and get support from those already in the industry. Baby coders are a delight tbh we love yall.

[gimme-a-hand-scaevola]

A review of the book The Rook by Daniel O’Malley that nobody ever asked for...

Ok so @chemcat92 recommended me this book and I listened to it on audiobook and I just... have a lot of thoughts. I haven’t read the sequel and I’m torn if I will. Having watched some AMVs of the show, it’s a hard pass. My review is going to be in three parts:

1. The plot

2. Wasted Potential - In General

3. Wasted Potential - Gestalt the Most Wasted Character Potential I’ve Read since Drizzt Do’Urden 

Obviously spoilers under the cut. 

Part 1: The Plot - i.e. I think Daniel discovered books four days before he started writing 

Ok so... The plot of this book. It starts off STRONG I will give it that. Myfanwy Thomas wakes up in a rainy part surrounded by bodies wearing latex gloves and no memories. She soon discovers her previous self lost her memories but because she was organized and knew it was coming, she has eased new Myfanwy’s transition. She gets to choose to stay in her life through letters and then we get an easy way to give flashbacks. Anyway this part RULES. 

Honestly, the book starts strong as hell. Myfanwy discovers she has supernatural powers over people’s nervous systems and is a trained bureaucrat for a supernatural wing of the government. This all runs sort of like a combination of Heroes and Harry Potter in the best way possible. And here is where we find the strongest part of the book: the superpowers. 

We don’t have to look that far to find Heroes type shows or books where everyone has a special ability, so if you’re going to go that route, you’ve gotta bring it. And honestly, Daniel brings it. They powers are cool as hell, they’re inventive, they’re well bounded. I felt like I understood what people’s powers and limitations were. We were in a land with magic, but it never felt cheap. This is going to dovetail into my absolute RANT about Gestalt but give me a sec to get there. 

Ok. So honestly I don’t even have any complaints until the third act. Act one gives us the set up, act two introduced the big bad the Grafters and so far so good. We’ve got good but elitist supernatural guys vs. bad but more egalitarian supernatural guys. We also know that it was someone in the supernatural org (it has a name but the name is so stupid I can’t spell it) that betrayed our protag and stole her memories and they’re still around and teamed up with the evil Grafters. Intrigue?? Don’t know who to trust???? Love it. 

For some reason everyone is either old, or hot, or so inhuman it’s viscerally horrifying. Love this touch. Eleanor from the Good Place taught us that it’s totally free to imagine everyone in a story as super hot. And it is. So they’re all super hot. Love it. Good commitment, Daniel. 

But then we get to Act three. So, this was a big swing on ol Danny’s part because a lot of the effect of this had to do with carrying out mystery. We’d built a lot of tension on the suspense  Who Betrayed Myfanwy. So obviously it’s really important for me to be surprised or at least satisfied with who this is. (As an aside, I would have been ok with guessing correctly, I definitely don’t subscribe to surprise trumping cohesive plot). Ok. With that on paper... like... holy shit. What a stupid “reveal.” 

So in part 1, like the first scene we get of old Myfanwy’s letters giving us context, she says that her apartment at work was inherited from a dude Conrad something that got promoted. And then she says it’s super badly decorated, and later we see it and this shit is straight out of Austin Powers, mirror over a round bed, The Whole Shebang. But she also says that this guy who otherwise is supposed to be very smooth and charismatic like... asks her about the decor.... every time they interact. Every Time They Interact. The second this was mentioned (WHICH IS AFTER WE KNOW SHE WAS BETRAYED) I'm like “oh ok so this guy bugged her room he’s the villain” and I only wasn’t sure because it was WAY too obvious. 

But no. He’s the villain. He has a big reveal where he’s like “AND I BUGGED YOUR ROOM” and I'm like... well... yeah. Of course you did. But here’s the thing tho... Myfanwy’s like... WHOLE ASS JOB is planning covert ops. So... is she good at her job??? IS SHE???? 

But we also don’t actually show how characters are based on their actions, we are just told how they are. But we will circle back to that in the Gestalt part. That’s honestly the sum of my rant about the plot. It was nothing. It put all its eggs in the basket of the worst most boring reveal of all time. Daniel, I think you might just be boring. 

Part 2: Wasted Potential - Everything but Gestalt who gets a special part to themselves.

The big sin of this book might just be too many good ideas. There’s a lot of characters, they all do cool stuff, but we have like 200 pages, so there wasn’t enough time to do anything with all these guys. I got lost about who was who like 80 times because they’re basically all sneaky hot magic guys. One of them smokes and is a soldier and he seems chill. 

There’s a vampire and he gets a scene and a long intro that reads more like a wiki page. Like it was interesting but you would have lost NOTHING cutting him as a character except that he was cool. You never ever believe that he was the bad guy because it’s super well established in the Certified Back Story that he could give two shits about the politics of the humans. He’s there bc he’s an adorably young vampire who is very curious so his dad set him up as a powerful government agent as though it was enrolling him in a prep school. Love it, but again, we don’t.... need him around. 

There’s a lady who can walk through dreams and I thought she was going to be important based on the fanfare of her introduction but then we forget about her basically entirely. 

There’s a whole American wing that we also only see anything interesting about in side story. Basically the world building is really good. Like pretty superb to be honest. But it’s bracketing a story that is nothing so it makes even good characters seems really random. And that bring us to:

Part 3: My Darling, Gestalt. My Type. My Weakness. What a Sad Little Thing You Are (Also misogyny)

Alright... if the rest of this review wasn’t salty enough for you... let the salt begin. Gestalt. So named because of the word meaning larger than the sum of its parts. And so they were destined to be. And so they were most definitely not. So Gestalt’s whole thing is that they are one consciousness with four bodies. They can either control one body at a time and sort of shut the others down or they can control them all at once but that becomes harder if one of them requires more attention than another, like if one is in a fight. 

Two twins (men), one fraternal brother, and a sister. If anyone is thinking “uhoh, only one girl, hmm can Daniel handle that? Seems like maybe some Smurfette style misogyny-lite is coming,” you would be wrong. Super wrong. Because it is not misogyny-lite. It’s aggressive Fight-Me-In-A-Perkins-Parking-Lot misogyny. So go fuck yourself, Dan. 

Alright, so to number Gestalt’s sins. 

1. Scrape off some of that intro mustard.

They’re introduced in the LONGEST fucking passage I’ve ever read telling me that this dude is hard to talk to and weird. Like, I’m in an urban fantasy book already, I'm all set. Also... bitch SHOW ME they’re weird. Like can I see some interactions that give me second hand embarrassment??? No. It is actually never uncomfortable to talk to Gestalt. I only know that because people are super fucking rude about them. But it is never earned. So I don’t feel sympathy when people are like “Oh noooo you have to spend a car ride with Gestalt? Ewwwww sorry.” I’m just like, “What’s your fucking problem? They seem fine.” 

2. They’re supposed to be Bad At Planning but when?? 

Alright so there ARE times they’re bad at planning and we will GET TO THAT. But it’s only post-reveal like... what we are told during a monologue that they were dumb as shit. And that wasn’t even like not being good w/ details like it’s implied they are, it’s literally like doing dumb ass stuff. And it felt more like my bud Dan didn’t have a good handle on why stuff was dumb as rain than Gestalt being silly. 

Also.... this is a stupid use of this sort of character. They’re dumb and bad at planning??? THEY’RE A JOINT CONSCIOUSNESS why would you waste that making them “Good at kicking ass.” ugh. Fine. 

3. They get sidelined IMMEDIATELY 

So a guy named Pumice Stone or Kettle or Lil boy Bad At This or something outs that Gestalt is working with the Grafters because he like.... wasn’t paying attention. It was boring. But anyway so they capture two of the bodies and then stop addressing Gestalt until the end. They have one weird scene where the protagonist like.... freaks them out but ok. Fine. Why is Gestalt so Yelly. Why are so many villains in this book yelly. Ew. 

4. The REVEAL MONOLOGUE. 

I know this is a long ass review already. But my Feelings Must be Heard. So in the end when Conrad surprises no one but “smart” Myfanwy that he was the bad guy, we also get a reveal from the surviving Gestalt bodies that:

a. There’s an incest baby

b. They’re afraid of death

c. They’re so phenomenally stupid I have lost all interest in them

So... this is where the misogyny comes in. I’ll note here that the only time we interact w/ Eliza, the special girl body, is when she takes a carried to Hogwarts the super secret magic school with Myfanwy and she doesn’t do anything except we get the internal note that she’s like... gained weight. This is the misogyny-lite we expect. (And no, Dan, you don't get any points bc a female character is the only pleased she got pudgy bc YOU wrote the female character so we’re all set there.)

And then we discover that the weird blonde (lol oh yeah they’re all hot blondes) baby that Conrad “Evil Austin Powers” British-Last-Name has with his weird wife is actually a Gestalt body that Eliza had after she boned down with her other body who is genetically a brother and consciously herself. 

K. Ok. I have. Ok. Alright. Daniel. Ok. 

SUBPART A: My Feelings about Gestalt: Oh Eliza, my darling, my dear, would that I could bring you Justice

So after Eliza is shot dead one of the interchangeable boy bodies of Gestalt yells at Myfanwy about how terrible that is bc it was the only body who could bear children so now THE HORROR they’ll die. 

For god’s fucking sake Daniel O’Malley. What the fuck is your goddamn problem. You LITERALLY wrote a Smurfette Syndrome character who is only important because she can have babies. She is literally just there to be a baby-box. What the fuck. Get fucking wrecked. Thank GOD Starz cut your program and fuck the Aurealis Awards for giving you an award for this fucking book. But they’re a sci-fi award so this is probably super progressive for them. I was pleasantly annoyed by the basic nature of this book until this part. Now I am just done with your content. This was more overtly sexist that Supernatural. So... real swing and a miss. 

ANYWAY FORTUNATELY this opens a whole new can of worms that I get to ruthlessly mock certified Basic Bitch Daniel O’Malley for. 

SubPart 2: Gestalt Raises Interesting Philosophical Questions Daniel Isn’t Smart Enough to Address

So, remember, I would have cut this dude more slack if he didn’t do that to Eliza. Gestalt, to be honest, this whole review is dedicated to what you Could Have Been. 

Interesting Questions or Comments We Could Have Asked:

Does having a baby being one of five of your bodies affect your consciousness? That thing doesn’t have object permanence? Is there like an intellectual cost to having another baby body? No, we don’t care. I think we just had there be a baby bc “Weird sister-sex” was as interesting as Daniel could get. Side Note: The obvious question of “lol haha lol is it incest or mAsTurBation is not going to be addressed here bc it is literally too boring to consider)

Does having a body who textually is said to have post-partum depression affect your joint consciousness? If not, why bring it up?? Bc she has “weird lady disease” is that why???

Are they....afraid of death????? Why didn’t you ever bring this up? Why have they showed only excitement at the prospect of very dangerous fights up to this point? Why are all four bodies in the field. 

WHY ARE ALL FOUR BODIES IN THE FIELD. Ok so here is one of those points that is definitely stupid but stupid in a dumb as dirt way. If you were afraid to lose your baby-box body, why would you send her into battle? 

Why didn’t they freeze a bunch of her eggs? In fact, why did she bear it at all? Why put your one female body that you only want for babies through that sort of danger? Canonically they all get paid an absurd amount and Gestalt is paid for each body, they can afford a surrogate.  

Why let a weird dude who is at best contemptuous of you raise your baby body? Why wouldn’t you want to do that? Doesn’t that give him a huge amount of leverage over you? 

Is the quality fo Gestalt’s form destined to decline if genetically they can only make more bodies by full genetic sibling offspring? Does that scare them? Again... does their physical brain affect their consciousness? 

If so... maybe that would be a good reason for them to want to join up with the Grafters who are way ahead in genetic research and engineering. 

ANYWAY Gestalt is sexist as shit and boring as hell and had SO MUCH WEIRD POTENTIAL. 

In summary: It was definitely fun but Fuck you, Daniel O’Malley 

[astrarche-x]

The Poppy War: thoughts

Context: I saw this book heavily recommended on tumblr and even though I didn't research it (to avoid spoilers), it looked like something for me. I also realized recently that I haven't read a modern high fantasy in a while, so when my friend told me "hey, I've read this book and need someone to rant about it with", I was like "sure can I borrow it?". It is worth noting that my friend's tone was rather disapproving and we mostly share our taste in books, but still, I approached The Poppy War with a very favourable mindset.

Which didn't last very long.

Fortunately, after some time the book got better, so: disapproval first, praise later.

- the first part, aka Rin's time in academia, was so predictable and cliche I went through it purely out of malice (to be able to roast it). It was fitting every cliche you can find in a books set at school and bore me to death.

- Jiang: aaaa. This is coming from my personal experiences, but I've had a hard time with my "cool but weird" teacher lately and I just can't get past this trope without being angry at writers who do not acknowledge how toxic it usually is. (tho in Jiang's case it was more or less ok) Also the reveal of his backstory was very predictable.

- Rin: i couldn't bear how "edgy" she was. I started to like her when the actual war begun and she turned from "i'm not like others lol" to "i'm so scared, i want to be safe. also what is sleep". (also because she has been a chaotic mess the whole time and the war actually made it more believable). I had issues with her character though - for example she comes to the academia when she's like 15/16 and even though a lot happens to her over the course of the action, i had a feeling she hasn't actually matured. Did she develop? In terms of abilities, knowledge, rage etc - yes. But I didn't think she was more mature at the end and it really bothered me (as i was still picturing as a 15-year-old and had to constantly remind myself that she's an adult now).

- self-harm: uuh handled in a weird way? It's obvious that Rin's self-harming to cope with stress in academia is not healthy and the context shows that the heroine is under immense pressure which has a bad effect on her, but the narrative seems to present self-harm as a necessity to manage life and never really condemns it - not only explicitly, but any negative consequences of it are also absent.

- this book (and Grishaverse) would be more enjoyable if I hadn't taken that basic Russian course. I cringed every time I read Kitay's name (and it appears quite often...). Literally why name your character China? It's such a bad idea...

- I don't know if the original edition has trigger warnings, but oh boy, i kinda wish Polish one had them too. Not that they would actually stop me from reading this, but I started this book with intent to get some nice escapism with a tad of intellectual challenge and I wasn't quite prepared for what I got. I saw a post that talked about how in fantasy or sci-fi wars are a thing that just happens and serve more as a plot device, but are not treated as like an actual tragedy and how this isn't the case for The Poppy War. I think this is a very good point and I very much agree with this but I wish this book was marketed in a more accurate way (with mention of the genocides) than "cool protagonist goes from poor orphan to badass" (almost literal description from the back cover).

- on genocides: the Golyn Niis part was so hard to read. It totally gave me flashbacks to the time when we talked about Shoah in Polish lessons in high school and I had to read like 4 short stories by Tadeusz Borowski about Auschwitz, one novella by Zofia Nałkowska about investigating Nazi crimes and one book about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising by Hanna Krall & Marek Edelman* (and it was all in the span of like 1-1,5 month) - all of which were written by survivors of said events, so it was an extremely difficult and emotionally exhausting read. Parts of The Poppy War had the same effect on me, so it shows the author really did her research and is to be appreciated, although while I would like to know what happens plot-wise in the next parts of the trilogy, I think it would be too emotionally draining for me to read.

- Having said all this, I found the Speer genocide theme really interesting. The legends and propaganda surrounding it, its impact on both country politics and Altan's (and Rin's) personal stories... Also I really liked how Rin's perception and understanding of it changed. Plus it served really well as a backstory - its effect on the whole plot was huge and manifesting in unexpected places but without the feeling of being hammered into reader's head.

- Altan: that guy. He was an interesting character, but a very unlikeable one. He was such an asshole... (And yeah obvs still trauma and all that but he really was one). Also I found it confusing that at the end of the book Rin was like "omg his power is so strong because he's fueled by revenge!"... duuh? It was obvious since her convo with Jiang about lore students?

- But generally Rin's relation to Altan was for me one of the strong points of this book. I'd say that Rin's emotions regarding him were very realistically written - admiration, longing for approval, the feeling of similarity, anger, frustration about his expectations, the need to rise to the challenge he posed, to be his equal... And then the shock as he fell from the pedestal she constructed; the understanding, the pity and the sadness. I loved how complicated that was and that we as readers got to see that Rin's Altan and the actual Altan were two different persons, even though the narrative is close to Rin's POV.

- Chaghan: he was my fave character. This is, again, personal, but works of fiction work 200% better for me if the characters are well-written - which The Poppy War rather lacked: few characters were interesting and even less were likeable. Chaghan was both - maybe he didn't have a big arc and was rather a secondary character, but he was intriguing, had that close bond with Altan (I ship them) and also was the most competent person in the cike (Quara was the second one). He was very straightforward and had that no-bullshit attitude, but unlike Rin, Altan etc., what he said and his actions actually made sense. So every time he had to went away from the main character I was devastated...

- What I really enjoyed about this book was the parts about shamanism. I'm not an expert about what goes on in modern fantasy, but I have a feeling that a character of a shaman often appears in a very exoticised way (wonder why is that /s), whereas in this book it was treated seriously and was a basis for a great magic system. 9/10 very original take, highly recommend.

* books mentioned: "Medaliony" by Zofia Nałkowska, "Zdążyć przed panem Bogiem" (eng: Shielding the flame) by Hanna Krall & Marek Edelman, Pożegnanie z Marią by Tadeusz Borowski

[dr3am-t3am]

quick comment i wanted to make on the fan art issue, that i would’ve put on twitter if it weren't for its stupid character limit

i really really do understand both sides. in all honesty, im not mad at all, bc i think the issue is more with twitter itself than either dream or the artists, but tensions got rlly high last night and i feel for everyone that was affected. i do wanna say tho, the twitter algorithm really puts artists at a h u g e disadvantage. 

to everyone and anyone affected, pls feel free to talk to me? and if you have fan art, feel free to message me w/ it. im v far from anything resembling a big account both here and on twitter, but i will definitely boost ur art if u send it ! we really can't expect ccs to see or boost our art, just from the crappiness of social media algorithms alone, but when artists work together to help each other and such we can still make sure that all of our art is appreciated and loved by the community. love y'all !! <3 <3 <3

more hypothetical discussion and thoughts under the cut

again, i am a fanartist. i am also a fanfic writer, and i started on tumblr, so i know that bc of my experiences, im gonna be a lot less? affected? i guess by limited interactions from ccs. on tumblr, there’s no way you're gonna get noticed by ccs (which is a perk, sometimes) and when you’re a fanfic writer you really dont even ask for positive attention you really just want people to stop giving you negative attention haha

that being said, i understand people’s frustration with dream bc he hasn’t been interacting as much with art. i maintain that this frustration should be more directed to the twitter algorithm, tho. 

(who’s ready for some hypothetical math?)

let’s say that an artist takes 1 hour to make one piece of art. this is honestly, really really dang fast, many detailed full pieces of art take 2-3 hours at least, and many others will take 8, 10, or even more. but we’re gonna give the artist the benefit of the doubt anyways and say that they take 1 hour. 

Now how about stan accounts? Let’s say that they make 5 posts an hour. This is honestly, probably a low ball! Each post takes a few seconds to make, a lot of the time, and plenty of accounts are much more active than posting every 12 minutes. But we’re gonna, again, make this situation the best possible situation for the artist, and let’s say that the stan account only posts 5 times an hour. Even with this situation, for each post that the artist makes, assuming that they @ dream every time, he’s going to see 5 posts by a stan account.

Artists also tend to be very outnumbered on twitter, so let’s say for every artist, there are 10 stan accounts. Let’s assume that they also make 5 posts an hour. So for each artist that shows up in dream’s notifications, he’s going to see 50 posts by stan accounts.

But artists get fatigued! We’re going to go with a high estimate again with 4 fully finished pieces a day. (this is insane! keep in mind, even if we’re lowballing the time put in, this is still 4 hours a day of art. for most artists, their fully finished pieces take 2, 3, 4 hours. four pieces a day would put them at 8-16 hours of work!!). on the other hand, stan account posts take a lot less time to make, and are much less likely to make them fatigued. Therefore, we can assume that the stan accounts, posting 5 times an hour, can stay active for 8 hours a day. 

What does this put us at? For every post that an artist makes with a fully finished piece of art, dream is seeing 100 notifications from stan accounts. This doesn’t even include how dream is more likely to respond to those who interact with his tweets, which is nigh impossible for artists because they cannot make a piece of art to reply to his posts in the ~5 minutes that he will look at the replies to the post he posts. I also made this situation the best possible situation for the artist. In reality, I can only make about one fully finished piece a day, and more often will go two or three days without posting. There are also far more stan accounts than artists, stan accounts are often active for longer than 8 hours and post more than once every 12 minutes. The real ratio might be more like 1 in 200, 300, 400. Just because of the algorithm, artists are pretty dang screwed.

Dream has been making efforts to help with this, such as through the dreamfanart tag! this manages to filter out all of the stan accounts, and when fan artists use it he’s going to be much more likely to see the art. even so, the amount of artists he will actually interact with is very low. it’s just the way the website works, when his notifications are definitely constantly flooded, when artists are so easily drowned out by the literal army of stan accounts on twitter. in the end, it’s really up to artists to hype each other up and support each other. My best advice for if you want more appreciation and interaction are:

1. use the dreamfanart tag! again, this manages to filter out most of the stan account activity, and will help other people to find your art if you’re a relatively new artist

2. self advertise! retweet your own art, reply with your art under people’s posts hyping up artists, dont be afraid to put yourself out there. if you want your voice to be heard in the sound of all these other accounts, you have to be loud!

3. interact with other artists! by helping and hyping up other artists, theyre more likely to do so with you. artists are a pretty small population of dttwt, and we have to support each other to get anywhere. retweet, like, reply to people’s art. follow dttwt artists and support them! 

4. love your art for what you’ve already done. this is the hardest part, especially when you put hours into a piece and see it get like, less than 10 likes. i have been there, and it sucks. but your art is Good. you put your time, effort, and heart into that, and regardless of how other people respond, you did good and im proud of you. <3

a last note: i have to admit, i wasn't the most comfortable with all of the dttwt artists bullying and venting their frustrations at dream, specifically, for “ignoring” fan artists. could he have interacted more? definitely. but i dont think he was by any means trying to “ignore” fan artists. his notifications are swamped, his tl is swamped. twitter works in a way where a day or two after you make a piece of art, it’s pretty much buried and lost forever. last night he was just trying to do a good thing by shouting out some small accounts in the community. fan artists, i am a part of you, and i feel your pain and frustration, but please don’t speak out of a place of anger. it’s far too easy to say something, publicly, that you’ll regret. i do not condone any of the hate sent anywhere, especially to fan artists last night, but let’s all remember to be kind and build each other up, ok? We’re all in this together, ccs, stan accounts, fan artists. we’re all doing this because we love the dteam and the content they make. don’t lose sight of why we’re here in the first place <3 

again, love you guys so much. take care of yourselves! im proud of all of you, fan artists, fanfic writers, any and all creators, as well as those of you who are just here to express your love for the dteam. be kind and support one another, ok? <3 

[the9thbestchojin]

Kinnikuman arc 1 the kaiju extermination arc reveiw

well this was a while coming it would've been done sooner but then the pokemon DLC happened so that aside lets talk about Kinnikuman the super hero wrestling manga written by duo Takashi shima and Yoshinori Nakai under the pen name Yudetamago or Yude for short so lets get into it

and since there's no real plot lets start with our title character 

Kinniku Suguru or Kinnikuman is the prince of planet Kinniku and main character of this manga and if your expecting a Kenshiro esc bad ass I have bad news for you cus Suguru is a loud ignorant asshole who uses his farts as propulsion to fly hell the first chapter of the manga goes out of its way to make sure you know that in a pinch this is the last guy you want to save you but while Yude made sure you knew how far Suguru would sink in his envy of other hero's they also made sure you knew what lines he wouldn't cross he wont refuse to help someone just because they cant pay and even took mercy on a young kaiju once he’s not the ideal hero but he has a good heart that just some encouragement to come to the surface and for him to do the right thing

Alexandria Meat introduced in chapter 3 of the manga Meat is the boy genius assistant to the Suguru I was surprised by Meat in this arc as he is something of a smart ass I suppose after reading the revival and nisei mangas I forgot he was a bit of a smart ass in the first arc he serves as a of a straight man to Sugurus whacky antics but at times can be just as silly as the young prince tho later arcs he would be cemented into his straight man role he also had a crush on the preschool teacher Mari but its not given much attention nor is Meat really I only finished the first arc a few days ago and I cant remember any stories where he was the focal character and I cant find anything about a Meat story in my notes that said said smart ass Meat and wish he had that energy nisei 

Terry....Funk? regardless Terryman is the best friend of Suguru introduced in chapter 7 the man from America which I will talk about in a moment as I think its the best chapter of the first arc Terry is introduced as someone who will only save people from kaijus for money but after he meets Suguru he changes his ways while he still wants to pay rent he wont refuse people who cant pay him Terry doesn't make to many appearance's in the first arc but when he does he keeps his demeanor of a cool level headed cowboy he also has relationship with one of the very few prominent female characters in this franchise Natsuko Terry just like Meat would play bigger roles in latter arcs but at least he has the best chapter of the first arc as his introduction so lets talk about that now since every other character in this arc either plays bit roles or doesn't have much of a presence I mean what can I say about Mayumi beyond he’s kind of a shit dad and can only cook rice and curry

Chapter 7 a man from America

This is without any word of a lie the best chapter of the first arc its funny has a nice conflict and does a good job of showing what our hero Suguru is all about as well as having a nice arc for Terry in its 28 pages if I ever try to get someone into Kinnikuman ill show them this chapter as it does a great job of showing you what Kinnikuman is all about I’d also recommend chapter it was also redrawn by Yude last year and the difference between their original art style and current style is night and day that said I suppose I should comment on the art 

The art is very basic compared to their current style but thats not bad as it works for Kinnikumans gag manga roots while I much preferer their current style but their old style isn't bad by any means it just takes a bit of getting used to after reading their current style for over 200 chapters now 

In conclusion I over all liked the kaiju extermination arc it may not be on my list of favorite arcs but id be lying if I said there aren't some gems in the first 27 chapters of this mammoth series not just a man from America as their are plenty of heat warming and funny moments in the first arc I didn't talk about here but if your not good with reading monster of the week stories then id recommend the anime as the first arc is only 6 episodes there but that said please join me next time as Kinnikuman steps foot in the wrestling wring for the first time in the chojin Olympics arc

[whiteorchid-whitedragon]

ok cause verde mun got me talking about it it i thought i would share some more in detail info on how bya feels about mukuro when it comes to a ship with him

first note im usually talking about @agamemnoncrying ‘s mukuro when i say mukuro, but if another mukuro wants to ship, theyre welcome to. and hopefully this’ll answer other people’s questions about my shipping 10069 (since i  know a lotta people ship it in a gross way cause most of the fanart and fanfics are gross)

there are two doujins i use as a good jumping off point for describing how bya feels, if you want links or the pages, lemme know

also imma put this under a read more cause i will absolutely be rambling

theres one where bya shows up at mukuro’s house and just lays on him complaining about being tired and not having slept in a few days, and then promptly falls asleep on mukuro. mukuro realizes bya really hasnt slept because the last time he slept was when he had visited and then realizes bya has basically already lowkey moved in.

another  is this doujinshi where bya keeps altering the universe so he can keep mukuro away from the mafia and to himself. they attend school and bya whines about not understanding his classes and tries to get mukuro to help him with his homework, and then later when mukuro remembers the universe where hes in the  mafia, bya just starts over with another timeline because hes determined to be with mukuro and just be by his side. 

obsession and comfort are two things bya feels for mukuro. ive already said how theyre powers are similar and how bya RESPECTS mukuro and views him as an equal, and if theyre dating its that and just add in his obsessive nature and the absolute comfort of finding someone who might understand him and is equal to him. as far as hes concerned, mukuro is the best damn thing in any universe. 

around mukuro, bya is respectful. he knows mukuro has issues with personal space, so the normally clingy bya will back off and wait for mukuro to tell him when and where he can touch

they tease each other and get sassy and sarcastic, but theres no hostility. they dont do normal domestic stuff for dates and theres no “i love you”s either, but its there. they also dont just stop being evil cause theyre in love. in fact, they come up with worse things to do together. 

but even with his obsession, hed never force anything, his feelings, his wants, his attention, on mukuro. bya values freedom over just about anything else, and knows mukuro values this too. so they dont define theyre relationship, even if they consider them belonging to each other. theyre possessive but not in the usual way most people are. bya and mukuro see whoever they want but they get clingy afterwards. like if mukuro is seeing someone for some mission or undercover thing, bya will be burning with jealousy but he wont interfere. afterwards tho, he’ll be plastered all over him and demand attention to make up for it. 

and lord dont expect bya to pay attention to anything if mukuro is around. he wont be able to take his eyes off of him. if theyre in a meeting and mukuro is there, thats the only thing hes paying attention to.

hed also never hurt mukuro in any way. emotionally?? nope. he might be accidentally rude but if he was told to stop, he would. physically?? nah. you wouldnt hit your god boyfriend. the only exceptions are sparing and in bed (and even then its consensual)

away from mukuro, bya would likely be less cool. he would ramble about how great mukuro is and talk about him a lot, get flustered, and be full of energy. if you bring up mukuro hes gonna just end up focusing on mukuro the entire time.

hes also not blind and obedient because hes in love. like dont get me wrong, if mukuro says to do or not do something, he’ll absolutely listen to him. idk how to explain it im better at this stuff when theres another person talking to me.

tho he absolutely worships mukuro. 

i dont know where i was going with this really except i needed to ramble about them 

not everyone has to follow this when shipping, but this is how i ship them. it should also be noted that like, i will never rp this how the fandom usually does it. rapey, stalkerish, yandere, abusive. on either end. no bya bad things with mukuro and no mukuro bad things with bya. just. hard no. yikes. stop and do not pass go and do not collect $200.

and this is like, the tip of the iceberg. ten paragraphs and thats not even half of it but i think i need to stop now,,,,

[whatdoesshedotothem]

Wednesday 6 August 1834

7 35

1 5

No kiss not with her at all fine morning - F68° in my back room at 10 10 - breakfast at 9 – A- still poorly – her bowls not better - Had our host, M. Pernard – he fancied the 11 minerals I had left out of the box = 20/ so I took only 4 for 6fr.§  - he calls set-e-ra what our cocher called Stèré - a Setĕra = 900 toises carrés; but they commonly go here by the journal (plural journaux) = 2/3 of a Setĕra, or 600 toises carrés - terre à chauve is worth 3,000 fr. a Setĕra - terre with vines and bled = from. 2000/ to 2,4000 fr. a Setĕra - terre de vigne = from 1800 to 2000 fr. a Setĕra - the vine-hills (at his own campagne) are what they call mi-côtes (ie. demi côtes) - M. Perrier has no land that he (M. Pèrrend [Pernard]) knows of but at Vizille and none there but what belongs the chateau and may have from 60 to 80 Setĕra - but it is the chateau which makes the land valuable - in buying land one has to consider where it is terre battue, or not; that is, terre with a good house on it, or not - where there is a very large quantity of land, the house is generally given in - where there is not much land, of the house is a consideration - the chateau at Vizille is valuable as being a large manufactory - filature de cotton employing now 200 to 400 ouvriers - wheat is sold by the boisseau weighing 42 lbs. or + or - according to the goodness of what - it is now 4/50 per boisseau should be 6/. to enable the farmer to pay his way comfortable - Mr. Pérard [Pernard] have 22000 fr. for his campagne has 17  Setĕra, and has laid out from 36,000 to 40,000 fr. - wants 10,000 fr. for all the trouble he has had the 28 month since he bought it, and asks 70,000 fr. but his wife does not wish him to sell - he will assure the estate producing 100 louis (=2,400/) per annum without making anything of the house - it is situate in what is called the Beauplan -

§                        

took a boy guide and out (left A- at home) at 11 50 to the chateau fort or Bastille, on a high compact limestone rock north of the town – had got a considerable way above the engineer’s house when he  himself came and I was obliged to turn back and ask leave of the Commandant – vexed enough – but could not help it – went back the engineer with me – shewed my passport – made my story good – the commandant very civil and ask me to take beer or Eau sucré which I declined and  the engineer went a good way up with me – gave me note to the lieutenant in command at the top, and asked me to stop at his and take something on my return and I promised I promised to call – I counted above 350 steps and forgot to count those perhaps 20 or 30 to the very top and others lower down - besides all the traversing I certainly mounted 400 steps - very fine views of the town

SH:7/ML/E/17/0070

about ½ way and at the very top at 1 ½ magnificent view of the valleys of the Isére and Drac – the former winds near the town in large folds – very beautiful – stood 10 minutes under the boiling sun enchanted with the view - the Graissivaudan [Grésivaudan]valley at the apex of the angel stands Grenoble very fine and rich and beautiful deserving all its praises -  the fine high Savoy mountain snow-streaked ridge on the East rather hid by clouds range but the range hills of hills below beautifully thrown together with pointed rounded elongated all shaped tops - Everyone should go to the top of the chateau - from the higher mountain above it the town would be masked by the castle  - heated as I was, I was well repaid – down at the old tower, where lives the engineer and his wife at 2 ½ - very civil – hoped I should go and see them again – gave me a nice little nosegay from their flower pots on the top of the tower he lost his right arm in Spain at the taking of Valentia (Valence) - has 1500/. a year pay + 300/. gratification and lives, rent free, of course, in the tower - a taker of roads came in - said the new road of Marseilles by Claix Vizille etc would be finished in 4 or 5 years as also the new road to Italy by Bourg d’Oisans, Grave, Madeleine, Lauzet to Oulx and Exilles and Susa would be done in 5 years -  10 leagues done - 30 more to do - the road is done to beyond Bourg d’Oysans - ¼ hour at the engineer’s ‘Mr. de Matheis, Garde du Génie, chevalier de la legion d’honneur, à Rabot’ - born at Turin - he gave me his address written very well with his left hand - in returning went to the marbrier, near the good stone bridge ‘Bernard fils  marbrier, r. du Quai, n°12 près le pont de Pierre, à Grenoble’ - 1 chiefly piece very pretty dark coloured ground much veined with yellow - found in a ravine near Grenoble - no quarry of it - called brêche de tez - ‘la cheminée’ coute 150/. transport to Paris 12/. to 15/. to London perhaps 30/. would engage it at 50/. - but what would be the dirty? - could furnish 10 or 11 specimens of Grenoble marbles or marbres du pays of the Dauphin alps 3 ½ in. carrés and ¼ in. thick at 3/. each -  home at 3 ½ - paid all and off from l’hotel des ambassadors, Grenoble, at 4 35 - A-‘s bowels indisposed all the time – the town too low and near the river – so glad to be off – like the neighbouring hills exceeding for living on  - not at all disappointed with town or country – the town a good provincial town tho’ not handsome – had no time to see the musée – beautiful drive along the river winding tolerably near for some distance -  At 5  35 having driven a roughish by-road alighted at the  campagne of our hoste in a vignoble about ¼ mile from the road (right) - formerly belonging to the Chartreux - shewed us the cave and the great 2 or 3 foutres (casks that 30 men could stand in at once) they left there, and the wine press - still perfectly good (of oak) tho’ a century or two old - rez de chaussée a good salon with cabinet for 2 beds at one end, and 2 other pieces (small) - an 1er même distribution with kitchen above, or below to be let - the fermier under the same roof, and a kitchen and 2 or 3 pieces reserved for his wife’s father and mother - I asked if the tenant could have a garden - no! but M. Pernard would give him ½ the product of the garden - this rez de chaussée and 1er will [be] furnished for 1000 fr. a year, or for la belle saison May to October exclusive - everything really very nicely arranged - fine 7 ½ ft. parasol (in English umbrella) acacias planted last November looking beautiful - had them from Martin Burdin Chambéri [Chambery], at 24 sols per tree - and all sorts of rose-bushes at 12 to 16 sols each - fine large 7 ½ f. mulberry trees at 10 sols each - would he sell them to me at that price - M. Pernard will get and send me off to England as many as I please at the price he himself paid - the leaves of a fine young well-headed mulberry tree sell for 20 to 30/. for the season manure (Engrais) (horse manure) very dear - had put 6,000 fr.  worth into his land - but vines a hot thing themselves and did not do with a hot manure - wanted a cold one - la laiche bauche the best - the coarse reedy grass (vid. line 6 p.18) - too much horse dung bad, too hot - shewed his pavilion great pleasure - prettily painted in fresco - an Italian from Turin did it and he and 2 men 2 ½ months doing it for 600fr. - A- sadly tired of so much talk she did not understand - but liked the place very well - Off again at 7 and at Voreppe (fine beautiful drive as before) a shabby little town at 7 ½ - in the rough road coming  had lost the shaft’s bolt or staple – the blacksmith having waited for me ( I was bargaining with the woman of the Inn but she was trop exigeant) and 36 minutes were lost - Off from Voreppe at 8 6 sorry not to have staid all night but A- thought we should have fleas in such looking auberge and I determined not to give the woman more than 21/ for the night and breakfast tomorrow as she had little to give us for dinner and wanted 25/. - a pity to have so fine a drive in the dark – fine rocks high and perpendicular we passed close under soon after leaving Voreppe, then fine shaped hills and wood were dimly seen - alighted à l’hotel du Cons, chez Bearne at Voiron at 9 40 – very large good room with 2 cabinets à un lit, at the end of them room – very comfortable – the master of the house very civil and reasonable – would object to nothing – would leave all to me-  and take my price – nice little supper very fine day till about 5 pm then a shower and afterwards a dew drops F70° at 12 10 tonight -  Not with her tonight.

[buzzmemes]

I hate this

I hate this : Memes

your passport photo and copy of passport At my school, the homework was to color the picture. So very true... In my school it’s so bad, the teacher projects it on the whiteboard ah, nightmares Soo true XD They say that because you cropped it out. And that is a fact They use plotters I get it! Lol that’s good shit Im sory Toad The homework that steals your time and your lunch money 99% of sane teachers shows u the color image on smart board No teachers want to show u crappy print Just understand it. Color printer is expensive. You’re telling me that teachers give out free black children? Bet, already got three in the basement itsa me, Noir-io Facts tho It'sa me, a-Copyo! We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo. Come back in ten years And they pop in a “do you see the ... in the picture” question Why mario on the right looks like he's about to wake me up at 3 am saying with deep demonic voice It's time for me to turn you into my spaghetti Is this the new "We have ____ at home" ? Since im in school this is to relatable The math graphs were the worst though 30 years of saving princesses, 30 years of smashing brown mushrooms. And for what? Cake? Mario!? Why does this remind me of the fearsome Llapp Goch Master. There's a good chance this is unique! I checked 103,921,185 image posts and didn't find a close match Whenever I got bad copies I'd always split the best copies around the room so every student was at least near a good copy and keep a bad one for myself... Remember when you were the chosen one to go out of class and get em papers wonderful If Mario was in Papers, Please AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA printer companies: see you little shits? this is why your printer needs colored cartridges! My name is paublo Yes Is that pablo It's supposed to be not centered Based on a true story Itsa me, Marijuanio! he looks so sad:( NVM took a secound look he looks like he bout to ask me if i wanna buy WEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDD Kinda looks like Hitler though Noah get the Death Star. My kindergarten teacher wife has to print shit at home for this reason. Effectively costs $300/year in paper/ink and another $100 to replace whatever broken down color ink printer we have in a given year. I want her to transition to laser, but haven't been able to convince her. More like the board of Education, principal and superintendents wanting another raise so the kids get B&W copies. At our large school we have 1 color copier, the rest are black and white. More often than not, kids are not getting color copies. Budget. Why is this too true Don't you be knocking LaserJet. Those things were a tank whose toner lasted a long time. DeskJet is what you are looking for. Made with HP LaserJet 100 color MFP Same Mario on the right side looks like sleep paralysis demon, ngl. Mario and Noireio. Top 10 hollywood stars ruined by drug addiction. It looks like if he ran into me he'd try to stuff me into an animatronic suit where I belong Mario looks like he's going to go on a mugging spree Too true Me looking at my paper: HERE WE GOOOO One more gram common u can do it is fentanyl the new drug to go? i only appy the fentanyl patches on them cancer patients at work, so they don't suffer 24/7. a couple of months ago there was a problem at our elderly home, bc some crazies tried to dig them used patches out of our trash..have fun with patches which are covered in shit and piss You should have done 64 or 69 Bro youd die before you even got through half a gram of fentanyl wtf do you even know what fentanyl is lmao A true epic gamer moment God I wish I had some pure fent Issa me, Black tar heroin Mario! Come with me and meet my gang of druga dealers! I really Was expecting a rickroll lmao And this is probably what he's listening to on his alone time https://youtu.be/ijBrulQXE2U It me mrio I jst snrted one mre grm and I jst deid DO IT FOR THE GRAM Go ahead and do another gram just one more gram Legendary The homework that steals your time and your lunch money............... Luigi says: do the coke to get the smoke Betta tell your moms your dads your ministers... WOOOMP WOOOMP WOOOMP!!!! Justa what me the Doctor Mario prescribed Mama mia I a need a more of that a shit YAHOOOOOO!!!! And remember kids - when you do drugs, you go to hell before you die! It’s a me druggooo Mario! I have snorted 68 grams of pure fentanyl and I am going to die. Itsame itsame I’m literally studying for an exam right now and my professor put that on his own notes... like bro nobody gives a shit about your stats notes I had a professor just say “don’t waste your money on the book. Just google book name pdf and it should be the first link.” Then he did in in class go show us And then you have the ones that sell their own 40 page notes in 2 sections for €20 each at the college book store. Or the ones that make class notes and give them out in the first class. Even better are the ones that accidentally send a pdf of their own book that they make no money on due to a shitty publisher to one or two people in the class. my favorite kinds of professors A full commitment is what I'm thinking of A lot of emulators come with a warning like "Use a bios file from your own console. Do not download one for free from the Internet!" I saw something on TIL a while back, during the prohibition era of the United States, some companies sold grape concentrate. They had a warning on them that said something to the effect of "after adding the concentrate to water, do not let it sit for two weeks as it will ferment into wine." As if...they wanted you to do it! That's a pretty calculated statement for them to make. *mobile errors I had calculus profs who would tell us 'I legally cannot advise you to steal copywrited material so under no circumstances should you go to this website and torrent the textbook for free instead of buying it from the overpriced book store and wasting your money' I always love those blank pages that just have in like size i font "Do not write here" for no fucking reason. Then the teacher tells you that they didn't see it I like when it’s in huge, WHITE print in the middle of the fucking page so half the assignment is cut off I like when it says on the side of the paper COPYRIGHTED MATERIAL DO NOT PHOTOCOPY OR DISTRIBUTE BY ANY MEANS Or the "here's a form that was made in Excel, if you could fill it out so that we can input the information back in Excel that would be great." "yeah..." "But the image gets worse!" Work in Japan. Teachers give me a copied paper. "just copy it. They have the file on their damn computer. Which is where we are sitting. -20 points. I can’t even read the damn question At my school, we get lectured for printing a class set rather than just a master. They say it’s about toner being cheaper and the copier cartridges are much much bigger. There are also a lot of places where teachers don't have access to a shared laser printer like that and don't have any option but to make photocopies, so stuff like the OP can be unavoidable sometimes. Genuinely not a problem in my school - we have a fleet of MFDs for bulk printing. We have an admin assistant in charge of the reprographics room who can interrupt jobs if needed as well. It's just an old mindset that they can't get out of. Yeah but then you have to be the asshole that released a print job with 200+ pages while others are waiting to use the copier since this is the only one you can print to. What is full sending? huzzah, a man of quality Have you tried full sending it? From an IT perspective, usually it's not that they want you to know what triggered the problem, they want you to provide concise information on what exactly you were doing up until the issue occurred. Though I do understand that IT technicians are notoriously unsociable lol I'm sure thats a great suggestion but that's the thing is that IT acts like its up to the enduser to already know whats causing the issues and what needs to be done to fix it. Also this doesn't solve his/her issue of getting staples on the copies. Have your IT reinstall your driver and you can select the options that your printer has. likely you are on a global driver, or it wasn't installed correctly! Or if I want staples. We can only select staples on our copier itself. It would be easier if the print queue thing was reliable. But I can't keep running back to my room if it didn't send it, so I make extra copies from my first one. Or if I need front/back from different originals I work in IT support for a school - teachers, for some fucking reason beyond my understanding, seem to print one copy of something, then photocopy it for their classes. Telling them that just printing it for everyone keeps the quality better doesn't sink in. It costs the same, comes out of the same device, and it's less work, but I'm the insane one. Th s rin er se ms o æ run ing lo n ink To the knee And my axe! And my sword! Take mine too! Fuck off take a useless arrow Actually it seems this printer is low on incas. Damn u incas "I'm so sorry kids, our ancient printer is not working properly again" Read the full article

[dillydedalus]

women in translation month wrap-up

some stats  books read: 5 languages: spanish, latvian, polish, japanese, french translators: 4 women, 1 man countries: equatorial guinea, latvia, poland, japan, algeria

the booksla bastarda, trifonia melibea obono (tr. from spanish by lawrence schimel) okomo is a young fang bastard girl in equatorial guinea who is trying to find her father who she has never met (and who is scoundrel according to her grandparents). along with her gay uncle marcelo and the indecency club (3 young gay girls, one of whom she’s in love with) she tries to resist their heteronormative society and her controlling family. to be honest, while this is interesting in how it looks at lgbt+ themes in the context of fang society, it felt a bit too short to really explore its themes in depth. worth a (quick) read tho. 3/5

soviet milk, nora ikstena (tr. from latvian by margita gailitis) dual-perspective story about the difficult relationship between a latvian mother and daughter during the last two decades of the soviet union. the mother is a talented gynecologist, but unable to healthily relate to her daughter or conform to soviet standards, while her daughter, raised mainly by her grandmother, is extremely anxious about her mother after her several suicide attempts. really liked the beginning, where both women narrate the circumstances after their birth (daughter in the soviet union of the 60s, with her mother disappearing for days after the birth, the mother during the end of ww2), and the ending, which focuses back on social movements and political events that lead to the end of the soviet union, but the middle honestly feels quite repetitive & drags quite a bit (at under 200 pages), and the voices of mother & daughter feel much too similar. 2.5/5

letzte geschichten, olga tokarczuk (tr. from polish into german by esther kinsky, not yet translated into english) not translated into english yet. this presents three stories of three women from one family, starting with the mother, who is somewhat stranded in a house in the country with a mildly strange couple after an accident, then jumping back in time and generation to her mother, snowed in in her mountaintop home with the body of her recently deceased husband, thinking back on her life & trying to alert the people in the valley, then to the granddaughter, writing travel guides on south east asian islands (you’ll note the theme of isolation). the prose is lovely & luminous, altho there is rather too much drifting off into vague philosophical ramblings on death & whatever for my taste. the first & third stories were fine, but loved the middle one, which painted such a rich picture of an odd old woman, her long life, her resentful & tender relationship with her husband & the whole silesian resettlement thing. overall: 3/5

record of a night too brief, hiromi kawakami (tr. from japanese by lucy north) three surreal short stories - women turn into plants or horses, moles pretend to be men, snakes turn into people (sneople), and move in with you (and make dinner just the way you like it), family members become incorporeal just before their weddings or shrink or grow huge. quite liked these, especially the disappearing family members story which starts out odd & gets weirder & weirder from there. i will say that the first is the weirdest & least coherent so if you’re struggling with that, try one of the others. 3/5

century of locusts, malika mokeddem (tr. from french into german by barbara rösner-brauch, into english by laura rice & karim hamdy) postcolonial feminist novel about nomad life in the algerian desert in the first half of the 20th century. the novel follows mahmoud, a poet and outsider, who gets caught up with a violent madman/trickster figure during a revenge quest of sorts against the french, and (years later) mahmoud’s daughter yasmine, who loses her voice after witnessing the brutal rape & murder of her mother, and is taught to read & write by mahmoud, making her an outsider who cannot submit to the patriarchal structures she later encounters. the language in this is powerful, stark when it describes the desert, poetic when talking of mahmoud and yasmine’s love for each other & for language, and the imagery of the locust swarms that periodically ravage the land especially really stuck with me. the book itself definitely takes its time and demands your attention, but it’s worth it. i kind of wish yasmine’s mother nejma, a black woman & former slave, had had more of a voice, but oh well. 3.5/5

[akxyaptn-blog]

How much should my car insurance be a month?

How much should my car insurance be a month?

I am 19 and I drive a 2003 Jeep. I ve been with Geico for 1.5 years & my policy price has went up two times! When I called to ask why it would go up they explained that it was nothing to do with me or my driving record (seeing how I ve never had a wreck or a ticket) but that it depends on the claims from other people. I know this is how some things work, but I don t think I should be pentilized for someone else s claims. Is this how every car insurance works or is it just Geico? I m going to start calling around to today to get quotes...but I wanted to hear from people other than a sales person.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare free quotes :HELP-INSURE.NET

SOURCES:

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[pr]

I was tagged by @twothirtyams

FINALLY got around to it HERE:

Nickname(s): Energizer Bonnie. Bon Bon. Bon. The Bonster. Babe (Jake literally has called me Bonnie less than 20 times akdjakanan).

Gender: Lady gal. Tbh I would be agender because I just don't care but along that same vein I just don't care enough to explain that all the time/insist on pronouns. So. Respect to y'all who do. ✌

Height: 5′6″ (I'm the tallest woman in me or Jake's families but also like. Why am I not 5'11"+ akdjakajaj Kaylor's impact….)

Time: 5:47p CST

Where I'm from: Dallas, Texas. (I would specify the suburb but nobody outside DFW seems to kno lol.) Living in Austin, Texas for 21 more days though...

Hogwarts house: SLYTHERIN. Through and through. When I took the quiz at like 15 and got put in the opposite of Gryffindor I cried. But like. Now, I cannot imagine ever not identifying with everything about Slytherin. The ~dark side~ has never ever been appealing to me - I didn't even have an "emo phase" (I thought MCR was scary even) lol but. Ambition and cunning? Hell. Yes. Also Merlin was a Slytherin so. Dab.

Favorite show: Parks and Recreation has taken the top spot for yeeeears - but now it is tied with Crazy Ex Girlfriend. (I base a lot of my identity on kinned TV characters akdjakaj but ANYway.) 30 Rock close 2nd. Breaking Bad/Better Call Saul are 3rd, shockingly. Bojack Horseman an unfortunate 4th but I kin Bojack in a negative way. Always, ALWAYS stan Avatar: The Last Airbender at #5. I have too many to list tbh lol so just check my TV tag.

Favorite animal: So preface: I only like female animals. Akdjakaja. JUDGE me as you WILL. BUT. Other than hyenas, female animals don't RAPE. SO! ANYWAY! Bunnies at a hard #1!!!! 🐰🐰🐰🐰🐰 Alligators, sharks, dolphins, elephants, horses/ponies, cows, pigs (lotta livestock akdjakajaba), cats, opossums, cheetahs, big cats in general, GIRAFFES (KK……) - I love animals a lot (from a sanitary distance akdjakajaj)

Favorite band/artist: I will not even count the obvious answer because that isn't fair. Other than her: Paramore/Hayley Williams, Ariana Grande, Lorde, Hayley Kiyoko, Halsey, Bastille, Troye Sivan, Harry Styles/One Direction, Rush (hate you Jake…), the cast of Hamilton and Crazy Ex Girlfriend.

…

...you can't judge me.

Song stuck in my head: Well I'm currently listening to Kung Fu Fighting akdjakaj but other than that Love Kernels has been stuck in my head for OVER A WEEK!!!!

Last movie I saw: Uhhh….tbh I really do not watch enough movies??? Honestly, it might have been Endgame?? God I am sad akdjakakja. Watched Crazy Ex Girlfriend 3× since June tho akdjakana

Last thing I Googled: murphy texas fourth of july concert

Other blogs: I've got a SHIT ton of saved URLs, but other than my temp hiatus blog @kaylor and its side blog @marvelousmidgesusie nah. Too much effort.

Do I get asks:Absolutely not. Never have never will akdjakajaj I'm good with it now.

Why this URL: Not to be like. Dramatic. But. After getting a canon URL previously and receiving 0 validation from it, I started this blog under the guise of like. Having just...a fun URL I can change whenever just to enjoy. So, when the lyrics were leaked, I jumped on this bitch because it was fun! And I'll probably change it again once Lover releases.

Number of blankets: Oh my God. Over 10. Too many.

Followers: Little over 125 I think.

Following: Idk. Maybe 200?

Average amount of sleep: I have been working pretty hard to make it at LEAST 8 - but that never fucking happens aidhakan 7-6 usually and it makes me MISERABLE.

Lucky number: 187, and any combination thereof. I know. Weird. But. On birthday turning from 7 to 8, July 18th (7/18), I decided that was the best day of my life, and that was my number. Do I remember anything about that birthday? Absolutely not. But. The number stuck. It shows up in my life a lot. From random (187 on a bus or on a utilities panel driving by), to mildly interesting (my license plate just has 718 or reblogging/liking things that equal combos of the numbers a lot), to really freakin' weird (the number my mom has had for almost 30 years ends with 0718, my Jake's birthday just happens to be August 17th 8/17). So. Idk. I just wike it.

What am I wearing: Tee from a coffee shop, A&M workout shorts, sports bra, crap underwear, and my heart on my sleeve.

Dream job: For my entire life, it was working in film, most recently being an editor. But within the last few months, in a dramatic turn of events, my ideal job would be doing what @tree-paine does: being the publicist of clientele in media, music, film, sports, maybe even politics. Idk.

Dream trips: Jake and I have an elaborate dream of traveling down the Alps from Frankford to Austria to Switzerland to Mulan and ending in Verona. Additionally, I am desperate to take Jake to NYC, LA, Boston, and San Fran. Would love to visit almost every hotspot in the US (Chicago, Atlanta, NOLA, Southwest, Pacific Northwest, Disneyworld, Colorado, Alaska, etc). Also VANCOUVER, lots of East Asia, lots of Europe, Giza, Jerusalem, South Africa - but I have literally never been out of the country and am TERRIFIED of flying let alone over the OCEAN. UM. I just want to be well traveled man lmao.

Favorite food: LOTTA shit I am NOT picky, but tops for sure: cinnamon rolls, cheeseburgers, pizza, mac n cheese, blueberries, pasta in general, sushi, and Jake's aglio e olio/veggie nachos.

Instruments I play: Lol. As if. I spent almost $300 on a keyboard but have been too depressed to try. Maybe someday. Have also been dying to sing for 23 years…

Eye color: Very, VERY light blue. Whenever I am in public, people lose their SHIT on the daily when they see my eyes. But for me like. Blue eyes be creepy. Lmao. I really want green/hazel eyes but like. W/e. So it goes.

Hair color: Naturally this dark, awful shade of ash blonde. But I've been coloring my hair since middle school, and for the past 5 or so years it has been a natural ginger copper. I dye my brows too, people think it's really because I am such a cracker ass white gal akdjakanakan

Aesthetic: Check my "aesthetic" tag lol. Idk. Peach/salmon tones. Farm animals. Florals. Dresses with sneakers. Women. Taylor Swift lyrics over pastel backgrounds akdjakaj. BUNNIES. Shots with a lot of negative space. Mornings and coffee and eggs and pancakes. Waking up next to Jake. Texas hill country. Cowboy boots worn right. Snow. Christmas. Idk. Just like. Look at the "moodboards" tag too akdjakaj.

Languages I speak: English, do you see my lily white ass akdjakajaj. I can speak Spanglish well enough to get through a transaction or vaguely pick up words but that is IT. Would love to know Cherokee, Korean, German, and whatever the hell Australians are saying tho.

Most iconic song: One time, I had a dream that I wrote my senior thesis on why the song "Red" was on the level of modern icon/classic as songs "Don't Stop Believin'", "Livin' On A Prayer", "Smoke On The Water", etc. I was insistent the opening notes were on the same level as "Immigrant Song" aodaajakaja. And I was SO passionate about it I WOKE UP CRYING AKDHALAJAKKAAJ.

Anyway.

OTHER than that, this is 100% subjective and to me personally but: Tim McGraw because those opening notes are just nostalgic as hell; Out of the Woods because when that leaked I was just starting to get back into TS and I put on my headphones and covered myself in a blanket and closed my eyes to be fully into it and oh my God...it was immersive, I will never forget that feeling; IV Sweatpants by Childish Gambino, because it was the MOST PLAYED SONG OF 2018 on our Spotify akdjakajaj; My Shot/Wait For It from Hamilton because they have both inspired and driven me to feel like I can take on the fucking world; and A Diagnosis from Crazy Ex Girlfriend because it changed my life and I have listened to it more times than I can count.

When I created this account: A few months ago. I am changing my person this year, and starting fresh with how I present my online persona was an important part of that process for me. But I have been on Tumblr on various accounts since 2010/11 lmao.

Best memory: Getting moved to the front row at my first TS concert, the 1989 Tour; so, so many things with Jake, years of memories; getting my bun; reconnecting with Sarah; a lot of SXSW 2018; my 20th birthday.

Best pun: The first thing that comes to mind is a post I reblogged earlier about how Lyra from The Golden Compass does not have a moral compass in the metaphorical sense and I said, "I mean. She has a compass. She quite literally very much has a moral compass." I thought I was funny lol.

Random fact: I finally got diagnosed with BPD! And I've lost 20+lbs this year (getting healthy, it's a good thing)! My closet is color organized by item!

I tag:

@kayspiracy @jake-from-state-farm-school @toastedcoconutchips @vagabonds-and-troubadours @grizzlybairparty @thefuckingstory @pictureofsoph1sticatedgrace @his-dark-memerials @taylorswift

[gsmatthews95]

Sun, sea and shithead

Hello moto. Another very... Out there title eh? It is that time again. I am here and I have lots of news for you. By lots I mean, quite little really but I have to blog before I get to the black mountain?? What is this black mountain I speak of? Ah for those Spanish speaking whizzes reading this you'll know the translation of this is Montenegro. The country. You know? You've probs heard very little of it. I know literally nothing but it is a country I am excited for and Alina has been itching to visit for months. We are literally quaking in our boots in anticipation of maybe the greatest country in the world. Ok maybe it won't be the best but expectations are high. Yay. Also another border crossing, woooo. There's been a lot of border crossings, occupational hazard of going round relatively small countries. Also, side note. I didn't get a leaving stamp from Bosnia hmmm. Firstly why did I get one in the first place? We're both in the EU. Brexit hasn't happened yet mate. Stop discriminating. God damn it. Alina didn't get a stamp, I did. It made No sense. I can only assume they thought I'd try and stay past brexit and become an illegal immigrant. Yet I've left so ha. They lose, I win... OK. Yeah but then when we went on to Croatia they drove straight past the border crossing without stopping, like at all. They just sped thru. Hmmmm. The inconsistency between border crossings has been an unfathomable mystery I've been probing in my mind. Some they dont stop you. Some they look at your passport. Some you stay on the bus. Some you get off. And some they have border guards shouting at you, not pointing any fingers (Serbia). So I hope this one I won't be pulled up for having no exit stamp. That would seriously dampen my trip. And be an irritating time and monetary inconvenience. #Pray4George. Anyhow, you'll find this out after my next post. Ill find out in an hour... For now you just get to hear more about our beautiful, relaxing, chilled out coastal camping time yeaaaaay. So we stayed in neum for four nights, where I posted my last blog from. I can't remember all I said last time so please excuse if I sound like a broken record and my repetition kills your brain cells. So this was the first use of the k mart tent and SLEEPING BAG ONESIE since leaving oz. It was emotional for me. And epic. We didn't put the lid on the tent so the roof was just a mozzie net. Breezy and you got lits of natural light. Plus being a three man tent there was lots of space. Alina even got to experience the beauty of the onesie first hand. A prestigious moment that I imagine will stay with her for the rest of her life, although as it was 30 degrees she didn't use it to its fullest potential unlike in the arctic conditions of central Australia at night. In the immortal words of Dwayne "the rock" Johnson: you're welcome. The campsite was nice although it had one toilet and one shower. Icky. Smelly. Gross. Wet. Feral. These are just an array of words I would use to describe them. Especially when there were 40 people staying there. Aside from this we had fun. Cheap, beers and lots of cards. There was one game we played, a lot. And those of you familiar with it will know from the title. Those not, will think my profanities are taking the best of me. Shithead. What a game. One I learnt as a wee infant with one Ashley beddows, then more innocently known as the magic game, it took hold of me and has been a staple of my life, especially while travelling or when skiing with the cousins. It is now also in Alina's lifeblood. We may have played over 100 maybe 200 games in like a week. Addiction. It is a cruel thing. One that we do not understand and can often underestimate until we are taken under its grips. Like meth addicts desperately looking for their next hit, Scrounging money for a few hours high, we scoured the streets for cards and when we found them we sprinted back to camp to let the games commence. We havent looked back. We could be anywhere now, we can't stop staring at those cards and threeing each other. Machu pichu? No thanks I'd rather win at shithead. We have an issue. Please. Call social services. We are addicts. We need help. We need our family. Mum. Dad. Hannah. Jessica. Rowland. If you're out there reading this please, hear my call and get us help. Lol. Ok neum was nice we went to the stone beach each day searching for shade. Its very hot here but the shade is perfect. Only issue we aren't the only ones desperately seeking shade. Everyone was, it was like some kind of teisted pilgrimmage where the shade was the statue of a virgin mary we pray to to cure our illnesses. There were however, some tanning machines who just took the sun in all its glory and power. There was limited shade but we generally found it as we cosyed up next to randoners, we sat on their feet and straddled their lilos. It was funny. The sea was gorgeous though, warm yet refreshing from the midday heat. The beach was also the ideal spot for some German lessons which have been under way (sporadically), for a few weeks now. Lots of vocab. I'm building my repertoire before my fluency comes. A zommershpraser for example is a freckle, it translates to summer sprinkle - cute. Only isuue is as its all oral my spelling is atrocious. Alina is a good teacher though. So give it a week and I'll be writing sonnets and reading ancient German texts. So apart from cards and tanning there isn't much to report from our time in neum (we're both very tanned tho, yeaaaaah baybey). Be jealous. Oh yes one more thing. There was some kind of travelling christian cult in our campsite who look to "help" disadvantaged, vulnerable kids in Bosnia. Hmmm. Sketchy. They even tried to convert both of us simultaneously in German and English. Very amusing. My guy, also from Guildford, lol, very random, that was his in by the way, how he began the conversion. He failed. He cited the illuminati and giants and conspiracy theories in his "sermon". It was hard to take him seriously before, this made it impossible. They both failed we are not a part of their cult (you're welcome). Amusing nonetheless though. Alina's "messiah" was an ex heroin addict who claimed the gift of god was better than any high he'd ever got, lol good joke. The simultaneous looks on our faces showed our disbelief in what they were trying to do. An outsider, a bystander that is would have had a chuckle I reckon. So the second part of our coastal adventure was the immense Dubrovnik. This is a city I have heard about for years from a variety of people. But never really thought about. Then when I found out we'd be going straight past it I pushed for us to make a stop there, Alina agreed. Only issue. It is super touristy and super expensive. Cheapest hostel €25, urgh. 1 night it is then. So we embarked upon our 24 hours in Dubrovnik, the UNESCO world heritage site. There is one thing for certain. That title is fully deserved. While a little part of me wants to revisit and rewrite the immortal "we h8 tourists" post from vietnam on Christians blog, my overwhelming desire (for once) is to talk about its beauty and the awe we (I especially) felt. I say I especially because of my obsession with walls, history and battles. Its like age of empires (the game I used to play? Or black and white 2 (another game I used to play) or game of thrones or lord of the rings. It is sick. So its an old town, very rich and is completely surrounded by the impeccable, huge, And fully preserved 2km wall. Every single inch of ground within these walls, that were built from the 1300s to the 1600s, is being used and covered in stone. Game of thrones was filmed there, it quite literally felt like being in GoT or LoTR as you wandered around the tiny alleyways that were super steep up the hill or as you leaned against the huge 20ft high walls. It was immense, Beautiful and unbelievably impressive. It was awesome, another few days would have been nice but one day was enough to see it all and experience the city. We also went to the small little beach next to the old town that was split in two. Free beach and the bar's paid beach. These halves were the same size but while the free part was rammed, no space to lie down fully the paid half had maybe 30 people on its 100 sun loungers. Ridiculous. It was a nice lil beach tho, sea still lush and a nice view of the city. We also went on a nice boat trip round the city and the island. Very relaxed and a nice view of the city. It was a good day spent and funnily enough the best view we got was on the bus just now on the way out as it climbed a fee hundred metres up and we saw right down over Dubrovnik. A successful few days for us as we head to Montenegro. I look forward greatly to regaleing the tales of this great journey. Bye bye. G. PS. I got thru the border fine. However, I have a very funny story from this crossing, all will be shared in good time.