#but the emphasis of memorization > actually internalizing knowledge is honestly just... not learning

[uncanny-tranny]

One reason you might not be very "good" about a trans loved one's pronouns or the language you use for them might stem from memorizing what they want, rather than actually changing how you view them.

For instance, my trans friend came out rather late compared to me. However, since internalizing that I wasn't really correct about who she is, because she's a woman and I didn't know that, it was instantaneous to refer to her by her name, to use language that accurately reflects her instead of what I thought she was.

When you actually internalize that a loved one is actually this way instead of what you thought, it makes it so much easier to truly and actually change your perspective on them.

In short, are you memorizing who they are, or are you actually learning who they are?