#but the same thing goes for Fatin's relationships with all the other girls and it literally kills me how 95% of the conversation around her

[thatsgay-writes]

Could I request a fatin x tomboy reader, the reader loves drawing

(I’m kind of mad/sad because I had to redo everything after the first time skip and I feel like the first version was better.)

You had known of Leah and Fatin before getting stuck on the island together. You learned a little about them, Fatin being a party queen who played the cello like an angel and Leah who kept to herself with few friends and might have had a relationship with a older man... Well that’s what you had heard from the rumors. You were like a mix between them. You played for the basketball team and led your team to 3 championship titles, you were pretty popular among the ladies but you never really got involved with anyone. You had friends and went to a handful of parties but you preferred a quiet night in and books over the loud music and alcohol. Not to be confused, you didn’t not like parties (your party animal side almost rivaled Fatin’s) but you just didn’t like going out often.

You had multiple classes with the cello player through out your middle school and high school career but the most the two of you talked was when you bumped into each other at a party and that was only to apologize. You also ended up going to all her concerts because she and your sister played for the same orchestra. You don’t know when but sometime during the last two years, you grew an... infatuation with the other girl. (You say it’s an infatuation but it’s lasted 2 years, you’re lying to yourself.)

Now when you would draw in class or doodle on your homework, it wouldn’t be sunsets, animals, or other random things. It would usually be of Fatin. As much as you hated to admit it, half of your sketch book was filled with Fatin’s face, eyes closed, or her side profile, sometimes even just her eyes. You never drew her in a vulgar way.

---

You would think that being on a deserted island, surrounded by a mysterious forest and a beautiful beach, that your drawings would change and become more scenic. But, of course, Fatin was all you could draw, all you could think about. The only other people that know about your infatuation were Toni and Dot... Leah probably knew too but hadn’t said anything or teased you like the other two girls.

“Damn, y/n you are down bad my friend.” Toni says as she walked up to you and caught a look at the newest drawing you had started of Fatin. You slam your book close immediately and look up at Toni as your face heated up. Toni laughed at your reaction, “You look like you got caught doing something bad.” “Well, I...” You struggle to find words to explain yourself. Toni placed a hand on your shoulder to calm you down, “It’s fine y/n, I’m just messing with you.”

---

You sat next to Dot and Toni as all the girls lounged around for the day, making it an unofficial day off for everyone. “When are you going to tell her?” “Huh?” You hadn’t been paying attention, to busy being distracted by Fatin laying out in a bikini. Toni and Dot face palm at your obvious staring. “She said when are you going to tell Fatin you’re in love with her.” You roll your eyes at your friends, they had been trying to pressure you into confessing your feelings to Fatin for the past few days. “I’ll come clean when you and Shelby finally bone.” You say to Toni with a roll of your eyes. It’s silent for a few minutes and you turn to look at Toni with wide eyes, mouth wide open. Toni looks at your gaping facial expression with a look between embarrassment and a smirk. “You dirty dog!” You say a little too loudly and feel Toni’s hand cover your mouth. “Can you shut the fuck up?”

Fatin had looked up at the sound of your voice and watched as Toni covered your mouth. It made her chuckle for a second before she saw you wiggle your eyebrows at Toni and the other girl blushed. Fatin sent a glare, that went unnoticed by everyone except for Leah, towards Toni who finally removed her hand from your mouth.

“You have to tell her.” “What, no I don’t that wasn’t what I said!” Dot shook her head at you disapprovingly, “You said that you would if Toni and Shelby fucked and they have so now it’s your turn.” “That’s not fair! I didn’t know they already did!” Both girls shake their heads at you in disappointment. “Fine, fuck both of you, I’ll do it tomorrow.” You growl at the two girls before grabbing your sketch book and storm down the beach to draw in peace, not noticing Fatin’s concern gaze follow your shrinking figure.

---

“I got this... No I don’t... Yes I do...” You kept arguing with yourself as you paced back and forth away from the girls. You kept taking peaks at the most recent drawing you had made of and for Fatin. It was a black and white portrait of Fatin with a heart behind her shaded to look 3D. “Should someone go talk to her?” Shelby asked in concern as the other girls watched you pace. Toni let’s out a sigh and goes to stand up when she feels Dot pull her back down. Toni looks to Dot in confusion before realizing that Fatin had stood up instead and was walking towards you. Dot and Toni immediately start nudging each other like elementary school boys in excitement.

---

“Y/n?” You hear Fatin say as she walks up to you and your heart stops. “Are you okay? You’ve been pacing for a minute.” Fatin says as she places a hand on your should to stop you from pacing. You turn your body towards Fatin and your eyes widen when you realize how close the two of you were standing. You looked down at the other girl and felt like you were going to combust. Before you said something awkward, you shoved your sketch book into her hands. Fatin looks at the book and then at you in surprise, you never let anyone look at your book. Fatin starts slowly flipping through the book to give you time to take it back but when you don’t, she continues through the book.

Her breath catches in her throat as she stumbles upon the first drawing you had ever done of her. Her eyes got wider and her face got hotter as she found more drawings of her. She noticed how all your drawings where off her neck and above only. It made her blush because most of the guys she slept with did so because of her body and it felt nice for it to not be capitalized in your drawings. Fatin finally reached the most recent drawing and felt herself tear up, it was so detailed and beautiful. Fatin looked up at you and you just gave her a nervous smile, hoping those were happy tears. She pulled you into a hug and heard how fast your heart was beating causing her to laugh.

“I, um, take it that you like them?” You ask uncertainly as Fatin continues to hug you. Fatin releases you from the hug and wipes the tears from her face, she feels a little ridiculous crying over a drawing. You don’t do anything as you watch Fatin collect herself, not exactly sure if she just really liked the pictures or held the same feelings for you. Fatin pulled you in for a bruising kiss, completely cutting off any self doubting thought you had, the kiss taking your breath away. “The drawings aren’t the only thing I like.”

[blinkaftermidnight]

I’m not asking to rank or choose who you like better bcos i love both shoni and leatin and the fact that we may get 2 wlw relationships is just WOW…but what drawn you to leatin first? i’ve read every single one of your fics during the hiatus 😍 and i’m so excited for your wip and future ones!! thank u for all u do!!

Thank you! And it's all good. I don't think I can really hide that I care about Leatin above any other ship on the show anymore lol. Every single fic I've written for The Wilds has at least incorporated Leatin, though I think there's really only two that didn't center on them? You'd think I'd know my own work better. Anyway, two canon wlw ships on the same show would be insane and amazing, and I will believe it when I see it happen lmao. For now, I'm hopeful.

It's funny, actually, the only thing I really knew about The Wilds before starting to watch it was that there were lesbians. So technically, I started watching for Shoni, but I stayed for all of the girls. I liked Leah and Fatin individually, especially by like episode 5, and it took until 1x09 - my favorite Leatin scene of all time - to really hit me. At first I was just like...huh. Well that would be an interesting dynamic. And then I couldn't ignore it and kept thinking about them and started writing and haven't stopped. I guess it's their personalities, and the way they could either be really good for each other or really bad for each other - or both, depending on what circumstances they're in, which gives me lots of ways to write them while still feeling in character (I hope). It's the enemies to lovers thing (even though Leatin is way more complicated than that), but they developed at a slower pace than Shoni, if I can safely say that? A lot of it is honestly personal preference. I also don't find Shelby's religious-based homophobia to be something I'd want to explore in my writing too deeply, and that's all tangled up with her relationship with Toni. But like I said, personal preference.

Look, I've never written for canon ships before - and if Leatin goes canon, I will no longer be able to say this, even though I did write for them BEFORE we ever thought they could be canon, and yes, I will make the distinction. So I was predisposed to like a noncanon ship, though I certainly didn't expect to start writing for The Wilds. I thought I was gonna watch the show and not care, and I was wrong. Yay!

I have nothing against Shoni, it's just I liked Leah and Fatin as characters first, and I liked how their relationship played out across s1 and saw a lot of potential for them there. And now I'm sitting on a decent amount of Leatin fics. I guess everything worked out nicely for me. And hey, I hope you have a great rest of your day/night, and I'll have some new stuff for you out soon.

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on The Wilds

First of all, can't wait for season 2

I should have coment per episode but i just simply couldn't stop watching so this is probably going to get big

Leah: This is one of those shows were the other characters are way more interesting than the protagonist. Sorry but i just couldn't relate or connect with her.

I love flawed characters, characters who have internal struggle but c'mon. She was so annoying and selfish for like half of the show. She spends all season making mistakes and learning nothing from them.

Like, of course all her conspiracy theories turn out to be true because she is the protagonist... And honestly this isn't even the problem I just wish they had worked better on that because , per example, she accusing Shelby and all was so forced dude.

"oh but she was right" yes she was but they could have done this in a better way. Leah is a character in the story and not the audience watching the story, she doesn't know what we as audience know, but she keeping acting like she does.

Rachel: I love sports, i was once starting to actually become a athlete and I understand the pressure she was going through. Even when we have the best coach, the ones that are comprehensive and supportive, we still put pressure on ourselves. I know she was annoying at the beginning but different from Leah, she actually had a natural growth. The one thing that fells off was her avoiding the water out nowhere later in the season

Nora: So after Euphoria, Rue goes on a plane that crash's... sorry lmao, i just thought that her looked like Rue sometimes because of her hoody and gorgeous curly hair.

Anyway, girl step out of your sister shadow please? Also, i get that she worried about Rachel after all what happened with her but girrrl let your sister breath a little.

I didn't forgive her for dumping the cute science guy just because Rachel basically said so. They are so goddamn cute together. Fuck Devon and those frat dudes.

Dot: The MVP y'all. Let's be honest if it wasn't for her they would all be dead. One of the best character who had go through the type of thing that no one should have. I love how she naturally became the leader and mentor of the group, and damn she is good doing that.

Different from the others, her struggle is already "over" when they clash in the island, her growth was more about her relationships with the others, with her learning to respect and be friends with them.

Toni: We love a cute angry lesbian imma right? At first I didn't understand why she gets so jealous of Martha's but after we learned more about her backstory... Well, her best friend is quite literally all she had in the world. She clearly has some angry issues but she started to getting control of it during the season, which is great.

Oh, and fuck those assholes that harassed her and her girlfriend in the flashback. Toni was mad brave and stupid for trying to fight against those 3 assholes but i don't blame her, i would probably do the same.

Martha: I'm still digesting her backstory. I wasn't expecting that. Omg. It may be because I spend the late night watching the show (is like 6 in the morning here and I didn't sleep) but i not sure if she did or didn't get assaulted by that fucking evil trash. Because if she actually didn't lied in the court and he didn't touch her, this may explain why in the beginning of the season she was so like "why boys don't like me". But i think sadly it happened, for the way she was acting in the flashback I think something happened.

She is the total opposite of characters with that type of backstory. And I love it.

Fatin: Queen! I fucking loved her from the start and she doesn't disappointed me. I loved how she grows from the tipical bitchin rich girl from one of the nicest rich girl you could ever meet.

Her backstory is really sad and infuriating. Eat shit and live Fatin parents!

The girls almost dying in looking for her while she was probably just chilling in the waterfalls. And she proves to be a lgbt ally.

Shelby: I knew she was gay because I sensed her tension with Toni and this tension for some reason gived me the same "Alex Vause and Piper Chapman pissed at each other and about to have hate sex" vibe.

No only she had problem dealing with her sexuality, with her family being all religious and shit, she still probably carries the guilty for her best friend suicide. Damn.

Its been a while since a new show captured my attention like that.

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

11+54 leatin

Send me two (2) tropes from this list + a ship and I’ll describe how I’d combine them in the same story.

Neighbour AU & Secret Relationship 

Too easy anon!

There is a perfectly ordinary suburb in Berkely, California. The public schools give the kids panic attacks, the private schools are overpriced, and all the teachers are overworked and underpaid.

Twenty years ago when they drew the borders the city councilors split a street in half. One half would go to Earhart High, the other Sally Ride High School.

Of course, none of this applied to Fatin Jadmani.

Fatin Jadmani had picked up her friend’s older sister’s cello when she was four and accidentally played Beethoven’s Fifth. It wasn’t like it was hard or anything, the sheet music was right there and you start at the start symbol and go up when the dot thing goes up and that obviously means hold the note and obviously that’s a rest what, is it supposed to be hard?

So Fatin Jadmani was stuck going to a performing arts private high school and that whole redistricting thing didn’t apply to her. In fact, she wouldn’t have noticed it at all if it weren’t for the girl across the street.

Over the twenty years demographics changed: parts of the district got poorer, parts of the district got richer. But despite the natural migration of people’s across the state the city councilors decided every year to put off deciding the districts for another year. So after twenty years the students who went to Earhart High were mostly Hispanic, mostly lower income, and had the highest percentage of students in the free and reduced lunch program in the state. The kids who attended Sally Ride High School were majority white, majority upper class, and were congratulated on speaking two languages fluently--instead of expected to.

And it just so happened that if you were standing on one street your family was made up of multi-millionaires, you licked caviar from the lips of eager butlers in Europe and never missed Coachella. And if you were standing on the other side of the street your family was one missed pay check away from having to sell the car. Definitely not the worst off at Earhart, you can afford to bring a lunch, but you would be eaten alive at Sally Ride High.

It was lucky then, that Leah had a scholarship to the fancy performing arts school in the area. Lucky because otherwise her parents would’ve never been able to afford it.

All of this would’ve been fine! There was no issue with Leah and Fatin grinning at each other over chem homework, or Fatin reading over Leah’s latest short story, or Leah going to Fatin’s concerts. Leah could march up to her door and bring Fatin flowers whenever she wanted. Fatin could press her against her bedroom wall, kissing her breathless while her parents were out getting groceries.

It was perfect, it was easy, it was the kind of easy every childhood first love should be.

But then the city councilors said: has it really been twenty years already? Wow they just flew by! Who’s the president now? Bill something? We should really redraw those borders.

And everyone, collectively, lost their fucking minds.

It took one (1) meeting for the Jadmani’s (who’s daughter does not even attend the public high school) to decide that Leah wasn’t good enough for their daughter. And it took that same meeting for the Rilke’s (who’s daughter also does not attend the public high school but at least they were in the right here) to decide that the Jadmani’s were classist assholes and Leah shouldn’t be wasting her time with their trash daughter.

And the city councilors said: everyone’s got way more upset than we thought they would! Maybe twenty years was too long? Should we just leave it as is? Let us know!

It was an ordinary suburb in Berkley California, there are a lot like them. This one just happened to be the front lines of a war-zone.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Fourth Coming

Fandom: The Wilds Rating: T Word Count: 2157

Summary: And on the twenty-third day, Nora ate goat and thought about love.

Nora sees the experiment through two lenses, like the red and blue acetate in those cheap 3D glasses. One lens is the scientific, the other is the brutal. When she puts these metaphorical glasses on, she’s just there, in the middle of it, but when she’s feeling particularly tired (understandably often) or just relaxed (inexplicably often—a fact to be concealed from the others), she shifts between the two views. Each is sharper alone than they are combined.

Scientific: counting the days; subtly taking her own inventory of the rations; monitoring Fatin’s dehydration, the commensurate level of distrust the rest of the group have for her.

Brutal: cold fingers in wet, black sand, disinterring Jeanette’s grave; Dot’s tumbling, shivering recount of spearing and battering a snake; ralphing, ralphing, ralphing bad mussels.

It isn’t until the goat that these contrary perspectives finally attain a kind of beautiful balance in Nora’s brain. And it isn’t her thoughts, or rereading one of her journal entries, that has her mental clouds clearing. Actually, it’s what Leah says. About barbecues and normalcy and the Fourth of July. Leah’s remark—possibly offhand, certainly poisonous, even if Nora can’t see how yet—gracelessly and unselfconsciously reveals the barbarism of order. A social gathering on the same day each year, centered around fire (fireworks, sure, but Nora is amazed by how dazzled people are by something not so very far advanced from what had the cavepeople oohing and awwing) and the cooking of meat. Ritual is the summit at which the scientific and the brutal join hands.

The day doesn’t matter. (Every day could have been June 29th and what difference would that have made for them on this island?) The conditions of their environment haven’t changed. (No major shift in the seasons or significant weather patterns, just the single freakish high tide.) The slaughter of the goat and the subsequent cookout should be put down to chance, Nora knows. Toni, Martha, and Shelby decided to look for food. Martha happened to find the goat. She happened to lay her hands on a tool that could do the job. She happened to be successful. And now, miraculous barbecue in honour of… what?

Nora’s sure that most of the girls would say the feast is in honour of themselves, their power, their survival. All of that would really put a spit-shine on Gretchen’s mission statement, but Nora’s not just an agent, a plant, a spy, a wolf in castaway’s clothing. She seeks to understand as much as she always has. She wonders if Shelby thanks god for the goat, or eats it as a form of praise. Nora constantly spots her toying with the cross on her necklace, frequently in a way that holds it far from her throat, almost like she’s thinking about ripping the necklace off and hurling it into the ocean. That would be going a bit far, but then, so is hacking your hair off because a brush got stuck.

Their ritual could be the sacrifice of another creature in the hopes of sparing themselves—a kind of desperate, gasping celebration. Privately, Nora decides they’re celebrating love. Leah’s persistent aura of tragic romance is part of the inspiration for that, but she isn’t part of either of the two developing relationships Nora’s been observing.

Martha’s picking at her goat meat glumly, so Nora rises and goes over to her. Her gait is unsteady on this sand and on these legs, weakened over the past two days of starvation, but it’s enough to carry her until she can slump down next to Martha. Sweet and strong, vulnerable and clearly capable (judging by the sizzle of fat dripping from the roasting goat leg and hitting the fire), Martha smiles when Nora joins her. Nora smiles back and that’s enough between them for a few minutes.

Nora watches the browned meat, nearly allowing herself to be hypnotized by the texture that urges her to sink her teeth in, the crispy spots she knows would taste incredible. But she can’t gorge herself; her stomach needs to be cool about what she’s already eaten or the chewed up goat goes the way of the slurped mussels Rachel found.

Carefully, Nora turns her head to study Martha. She decides that what this girl needs is the same thing Leah needed on Day 12 when she was sitting alone on the beach: some kind of dirty joke. Since she’s fresh out of filthy material of the Christmas variety, Nora tells Martha, “One second,” and heaves herself up again. She comes back dragging Marcus. He’ll be her muse, but it’s also a reunion of lovers.

“You two could get married,” Nora tells Martha. “Shelby said she was an ordained youth minister, remember?”

They laugh and it’s softer than the crackle of the fire. Nora likes that. The steady, rolling sound of their laughs together. How they taper off, unlike the ceaseless noise of breaking waves that drives Nora insane whenever she surfaces from her numbness to the sound. Like becoming conscious of your breathing and working like hell to stop noticing it, because having to purposefully regulate every breath is exhausting and terrifying.

Martha frowns a little in consideration, then half-smiles.

“Nah. I don’t know if I’m ready to commit like that. I think this could just be a fling. All those abs and he didn’t come help me haul that goat.”

“That’s true.” When Martha gazes at the mannequin, Nora assesses Marcus as well. “And it’s not like you’d want to keep him around because he gives great head.”

“He might’ve once,” Martha defends, brushing hair out of her face when a breeze kicks up, “but he gave so much head that there’s none left for me.”

They catch each other staring at the clean line where Marcus’s neck ends and nothing rests above it and trip into laughter again. Though Nora feels like she accomplished her dirty joke, Martha made it even better. People have underestimated her. Nora’s noted it from the start. It’s probably because Martha was injured. Group dynamics were established quickly and have formed and reformed in the days and weeks since, but Day 1 showed them the rawest version of who they are together and, before they knew about Jeanette, Martha was the weak one. Have the others seen her role evolve like Nora has? Are Nora’s observations anything special, really?

“This is totally not a judgement thing or anything,” Nora says, meaning it. “I was just wondering if you were maybe going to wash your clothes. Or change them.”

“Oh.”

Martha looks down at herself and now Nora’s glad she said something; it doesn’t seem like Martha was really aware that she’s been sitting here crusted in drying blood. Nora weighs the acceptability of a period joke and decides against it.

“You don’t have to,” she assures Martha, raising a gentle hand. “It just seemed like maybe the, uh, the slaughtering process? Was kind of a mindfuck?”

“Yeah.” Martha stares straight ahead and lets out a short laugh that Nora doesn’t join her in. “I’m glad Marcus wasn’t there to see. He might not’ve come back the same.”

Nora peers at her a moment, then resolves to just say what she’s thinking.

“Did you?”

Turning her head, Martha looks at Nora and her smile’s the same, but her eyes are different. No, Nora would write in the journal. The answer is plain. Maybe she’ll record it on paper later and maybe she won’t. Looking into Martha’s eyes, Nora knows she won’t need help remembering this.

“I’m just living my best life,” Martha tells her, batting the ends of her hair with her hand.

It sounds like something Fatin would say in this moment, or at least have printed on a t-shirt or something—it’s flip and glib—and for the very reason that it reminds Nora of Fatin, she’s certain that Martha not only means the silly words sincerely but that she feels the kind of truth in the trope, the mindfulness in the meme, that Fatin fights so hard to experience herself. Fatin is deeper than that ocean over there and Martha is a girl scooping out the sand in front of her mannequin boyfriend, digging him a sturdy trench to rest in so she can lean back against his factory-sculpted physique, painted in the blood of her first kill.

For whatever reason, Marcus is the man Martha wants. Nora can’t imagine him becoming anyone else’s property after all this is over.

“Do you want a lychee instead?” she offers. Martha’s flat-out ignoring her leaf-plate of meat now.

“Maybe in a minute.”

She turns her dreamy eyes away from where she’s rubbing a streak of dirt off Marcus’s bicep. Nora follows her gaze to Shelby, who seems to be counting out and partitioning the lychee haul, looking to Dot from time to time. Dot isn’t interfering, just giving encouraging nods when Shelby seeks them out. And of course Toni’s watching too.

“You think they’re telling the truth?” Nora inquires bluntly. “That whole ‘wrong turn in the woods’ story?”

Martha shrugs and says, “Yeah,” but Fatin scootches towards them, evidently drawn by the hum of gossip in the air.

“Are you talking about Toni and Shelby?” she asks, but it’s more of a demand. Her eyes are bright and excited, her mouth grinning, and Nora knows that a lot of that effect is thanks to their first meal in days, but it astounds her how socializing lights Fatin up as much as it used to shut Nora down.

“No,” Martha says quickly, but no faster than Nora’s flat, “Yes.”

“Dope. Yeah, those two are a hundred percent lying.”

“Are you sure?” Nora asks.

She’s not, but the cameras will be. Seeing the footage afterwards isn’t something she negotiated on when Gretchen made her part of the team. Speculation, though less scientific, is much more fun.

Fatin rolls her eyes like Nora’s questioning the laws of gravity. (She blinks and sees the poster of Newton. Sees Newton seeing the apple. Her throat closes up until she softly coughs it clear.)

“Definitely,” Fatin says. “Even if they were just out there all day picking fruit, it’s still the most sapphic thing I’ve ever heard. It’s, like, biblically sapphic.”

Martha laughs.

“Uhhh, sorry, which version of the Bible did you read?”

Nora smiles broadly and looks from Martha’s expression of brimming joy to Fatin’s concentrated delight. Like she’s on to something and whether or not she’s right is beside the point. That kind of approach makes Nora pleasantly dizzy. She remembers being little, standing at a department store perfume counter she couldn’t see over while her mom spritzed scents on her wrists that floated down to Nora’s nose. Fruit and flowers and anything and everything that could make the air beautiful when a woman walked into a room.

“None, but come on, there’s the garden, right? I know some shit. The marketing for this retreat was super Christian-centric anyway. We’re out here representing the fucking Dawn of Eve!” Fatin gestures triumphantly around at their dismal (except for the goat) camp. “If those two bitches weren’t getting their freak on under a fruit tree last night, I’ll eat my gold watch.”

Nora scrutinizes the girls in question.

“Shelby does look especially glowy today.”

“Maybe she’s born with it, maybe it’s chronic sun damage,” Martha singsongs.

“Maybe it’s what Toni did to those mussels with her tongue,” Fatin acknowledges frankly, “because Shelby sure as hell didn’t borrow my hundred-dollar highlighter. That shit got swept out to sea.”

Fatin trains her eyes on Shelby while Martha watches Toni, and Nora watches both of them watch the others. When they switch subjects in a moment of unvoiced agreement, Toni jerks her head up and spots Fatin staring at her. The tender gazes she’s been throwing Shelby’s way over the low mound of red fruit tighten into suspicion.

“What the fuck are you looking at?” Toni barks, and a laugh sputters from Fatin as she raises her hands to show she means no harm.

“Ok,” Martha says to Fatin and Nora, giggling. “I see it now. Something happened between Shelby and Toni yesterday. Some kind of hunter-gatherer romance.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve taken the ‘hunter’ title away from Shelby,” Nora points out.

“Well, whatever. Gatherer-gatherer then.”

“With an island colony of all women, it was only a matter of time,” is Fatin’s pragmatic take. “Another couple weeks without an orgasm and I would’ve fucked Toni myself.”

“It wasn’t just time,” Martha scoffs, tipping her head to the side. “It’s love.”

“It’s both,” Nora says. She could prove it to them, flourish the statistics she’s been tracking in her journal. How those bald numbers lie there next to the drawings that spill to the edge of the page. She’s made bedfellows of data and emotions. She just sits there and grins at them. “It’s the aphrodisiacal influence of the Fourth of July.”

[lesbian-fabray]

lit through the darkness at 1:58 (you told me you loved me) - part one

Hey guys! This is the first part of the Shoni fic I’ve been working on. I’m not entirely done with the whole fic, but I figured I’d get started on posting the parts I have written.

Summary: Toni and Shelby were best friends in high school, and the relationship turned romantic, but it ended poorly. Now, after years of feeling like the Shelby she sees now is not the Shelby she knows, Toni goes to talk to her.

The title comes from “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift.

Anything italicized takes place in the past. :)

If she was being entirely honest, Toni was freaking out about starting high school. It wasn’t really something she would admit out loud, but it scared her. She had a feeling that it’d just be her and Martha for the next four years. She didn’t really have a problem with that, but having more than one friend would be nice.

It was during icebreakers in her second hour that Toni met Shelby Goodkind. The best way she could describe Shelby was “magnetic.” She had these big, expressive green eyes and a thick Southern accent that coated her words. She talked so fast and about so much that Toni could barely keep up, even though she desperately wanted to. 

So maybe high school wouldn’t be so bad. She’d have at least two friends, so she knew she wouldn’t be alone.

- - - - - - - - -

Toni stared up at the house in front of her as she got out of her car. She made her way to the front door, almost too afraid to press the doorbell. She took a deep breath and pressed the button, hearing it ring out inside the house.

A couple seconds later, the door swung open and she was face to face with the blonde that had been on her mind every day for the last seven years. She stared at those green eyes that had once been so representative of hope, and only felt confusion.

Shelby cleared her throat and threw on a bright smile. It was the kind of smile that Toni knew was reserved for when Shelby was hiding her feelings. “Toni! I haven’t seen you in so long! Come on in.” She ushered the smaller girl inside and wrapped her in a tight hug.

Toni knew she should hate this. Hell, she knew she should hate Shelby for all the shit she put her through. But the moment she felt the Texan’s arms around her, it was like she was back in high school. She allowed herself to relax into the hug, resting her head on her shoulder. “I missed you so much, Shelby.” She felt the blonde rest her chin on her head. “I know, honey. I missed you too.”

It was at those words that Toni came to her senses, pulling herself out of the hug. She knew this was just how her and Shelby talked and acted with each other. They’d always been close and affectionate. There was a definite distance between them now, like there had been for the past three and a half years, but they were still close. It just felt almost unfair to have Shelby here, acting like she hadn’t destroyed everything. Like she hadn’t watched Toni spiral for an entire year.

Frankly, it was bullshit. That was kind of the whole reason Toni was here. She just wanted Shelby to stop fucking pretending, at least around her. She knew Shelby was dealing with a lot and that she may never admit it out loud, but she needed her to at least admit it to herself.

Shelby flashed that smile again. “Let’s head to the living room.” Toni nodded and followed.

- - - - - - - - -

It was at Leah’s sixteenth birthday party that Toni had a realization. Or, more accurately, was forced to.

She was sitting on a chair, watching Shelby play cup pong with Dot, Martha, and Rachel, when Fatin came and sat next to her.

“So when are you going to tell her?” Toni quirked an eyebrow in confusion. “What exactly would I be telling to who?” Fatin scoffed. “Dude, you’re in love with Shelby. Like, head-over-heels, follow-her-around-like-a-lost-puppy in love with her.” Toni widened her eyes and furrowed her eyebrows in bewilderment. “No, dude. She’s my best friend. I love her, but I’m not, like, in love with her.”

Fatin laughs incredulously. “are you serious right now, Shalifoe?” When Toni nods, Fatin’s expression softens. “Toni, just think about it for a second, please. Because, at least from where I’m standing, it’s kinda obvious to everyone but you. You look at the girl like she’s responsible for the existence of life on Earth.”

Toni sinks back into her chair. It would explain a lot, now that she thinks about it. The way that, the entire time Toni’s known her, she’s been the most important person in her life. How things don’t look as bright when Shelby isn’t around.

“Holy shit.”

- - - - - - - - -

“So what have you been up to lately?”

Toni looks up from where her hands have been resting in her lap. Really? They’re doing the whole small talk thing?

“Uh, nothing of note, really. Mainly just school stuff.”

Shelby nods. “You’re studying social work, right?” Toni looks up and tries her best to fake a smile, but she’s not as good at it as Shelby. “Yeah, I am.” The blonde nods. “That’s real great, Toni.”

They sit in an awkward silence for a while. It’s probably only a handful of seconds, but it feels like forever to Toni. Then again, when it came to her and Shelby, it’s felt like an awkward silence for the past three years, even when they were talking.

Toni can’t handle the silence anymore. “What about you, Shelby? What have you been up to?”

Shelby gives a small smile, keeping her mouth closed. “Oh, y’know, mostly the same old thing.” She pauses. “Uh, Andrew and I actually got engaged recently.”

Toni feels like she’s been punched in the face.

She means to smile. To act enthusiastic, say “congratulations,” and let Shelby gush about her fiancé.

But she doesn’t.

“Is that really what you want, Shelby?”

Shelby’s false smile falters. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

Toni finally looks her in the eyes. “Do I even have to tell you the answer to that question?”

Shelby stares right back at her. “Please.”

[hadtochangemyurlquick]

it’s work in progress wednesday so here’s a little goodfoe one shot that i can’t decide if i like and is mostly just me exploring leah and shelby’s relationship. also there’s some religion in there that i’m sure i fucked up.

Shelby doesn’t remember the dream, but she wakes to Toni’s arm thrown over her, reaching for Shelby’s phone as she attempts to hit the snooze alarm.

She spends most of the morning feeling queasy, a little nauseous, as Toni spends most of the morning exchanging grunts with her and muddling through coffee. It’s half past nine when Toni is awake enough, presses her arms around Shelby, kisses her neck. Toni’s arms have always, instinctively, made Shelby relax, like her body knows it’s safe.

Her skin feels like its falling off in awful flakes and she can barely breathe when she pushes Toni away.

“Um—”

“Would you give me some space? Jesus Christ, I can’t have a minute to myself?”

“Uh—” Toni reaches out a hand and Shelby finds herself in a corner, rock and a hard place, burning up.

“Don’t touch me!”

Toni flinches, “I just—”

Shelby pushes past her, eight steps to the bathroom in this tiny damned apartment, and upchucks in the toilet.

“Show me your ways, Lord, teach me your paths. Guide me in your truth and teach me, for you are God my Savior, and my hope is in you all day long.”

She is only spitting up bile now, Toni is calling her name. The door is locked.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”

She’s trapped, she’s trapped, she’s trapped. She made the wrong choice, everything is falling apart, her skin is flaking off.

"But when he, the Spirit of truth, comes, he will guide you into all the truth. He will not speak on his own; he will speak only what he hears, and he will tell you what is yet to come.”

Shelby leans against the wall, closes her eyes as she feels her stomach gracefully settle, now empty. The bitter taste along her mouth lingers, and she doesn’t realize she’s praying.

“For thine is the kingdom, the power and the glory, for ever and ever.” And ever. And ever. And ever.

She is trapped here, and it’s ruined.

The pounding at the door has stopped, Shelby gets to her feet.

Toni almost falls through the door when Shelby opens it, her eyes are wide and red rimmed.

“I’m going out,” Shelby tells her. “Don’t follow me.”

“Shelby wait—”

The apartment is so small Toni doesn’t have time to finish her sentence before Shelby makes a jailbreak, she’s wearing house shoes, and it’s freezing outside but what should she expect it’s Minnesota?

God, what in the world is she doing in a tiny ass town in rural Minnesota?

Her skin is baked, she’s so hot, it’s flaking off, joining that mushy gray slush on the ground that Toni told her will stick around through March.

“Hey girl hey! You’re on speakerphone with Dot in the car, because I am driving because that is all you fuckin do in LA,” Fatin answered on the first ring.

“My skin is flaking off,” Shelby says. And then, to specify, “I can’t breathe and I’m dying and it’s too hot and I think my fingers are turning blue.”

“Hey, breathe with me okay, it’s going to be—”

Shelby hangs up.

The entire world is falling apart, she’s trapped and she’s nothing, and she’s going to die and die alone for ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and

“Hey,” Leah picks up on the fifth ring.

“Leah,” Shelby sobs, the name a prayer, a lifeline. “It’s ruined, everything is ruined, I’m trapped and my skin is flaking off and I’m dying and I can’t breathe and—and—and—and—”

Someone sobbing interrupts her and she’s relieved to realize it’s not Leah.

“Are you around anything sharp?” Leah asks.

Shelby blinks, she looks around, “No.”

“What about a body of water?”

“No.”

“Any motor ways?”

“Maybe a five minute walk?”

“Okay, are you sitting?”

Shelby nods, realizes Leah can’t see that, “Yes.”

“You need to stand up,” Shelby stands. “Stand in the opposite direction of the road, and start walking.” Shelby starts walking. “Your skin isn’t falling off, you aren’t dying, you’re breathing, nothing is ruined, you aren’t trapped.”

“My skin isn’t falling off, I’m not dying, I’m breathing, nothing is ruined, I’m not trapped.”

“Stop running,” Leah tells her and Shelby hadn’t realized she had started. “Nothing is chasing you.”

“Nothing is chasing me.”

She doesn’t believe the words but she and Leah have played this game before, the only way to win is by playing the game again, some different day.

“Did I wake you up? The time difference—I always forget.”

“No,” Leah says. “I haven’t slept since I got the restraining order.”

Shelby nods. “I want that man in prison for you, Leah.”

“I know you do.” And every time someone says something like that to her it always sounds like Leah comes a little closer to believing the sentiment herself.

Shelby is still walking, she might walk until her feet hurt, or her bad ankle feels like it wants to fall off.

“Was it a nightmare?” Leah asks.

“You know I still pray,” Shelby says. “I prayed so often for so long it’s like—it’s instinct, it’s like my brain just goes there when I’m struggling like a reflex. Only sometimes I’ll be praying and repeating the words and I don’t even believe them. And I’m just sitting there in my prayer wondering where the hell I go from here. Maybe I do go to hell.”

Leah hums.

“I don’t think I’m okay, Leah,” Shelby confides. “I still felt safer than I ever have on that damn island.”

“I hate my therapist, I hate that it’s working, that I don’t obsess over things in the same way, that I can feel myself changing and I’m afraid of this new person. At least I knew who I was on the island.”

“That’s not who you are,” Shelby argues. “This is who you are. This person, who I’m talking to right now.”

Leah is quiet for a long time, she always is. She always plans her words a million years in advance, especially during these calls.

“Do you really feel trapped?”

Shelby wants to cry again, “No.”

“What do you feel?”

“Like I’m on the edge of a cliff and I don’t know which side is solid ground.”

“Was it a nightmare?” Leah asks again, because neither let the other get away with anything for very long.

“I think so.”

“You’re not gonna die if you fall off the cliff,” Leah tells her. Shelby swallows hard. “I’m telling the truth.”

“You promise?”

“Train wrecks unite,” Leah tells her. “Now call Toni.”

She hangs up, and Shelby opens her phone to a million missed calls from everyone. She blocks them all and calls Toni.

“Hey,” Her voice is breathless. “Where are you?”

Shelby looks around, “I don’t—” her voice breaks, she tries to muffle a sob, “Toni, I don’t know.”

“That’s okay, hey that’s okay. I’m coming. I’m coming.”

Toni keeps talking to her as Shelby hears her leave the apartment, start the pickup they bought from Martha’s mom for cheap, drive down that old highway with the potholes from the winter the city refuses to acknowledge. There’s some breaking of branches, before Toni is behind her. Toni comes up slow but Shelby falls into her, terrified.

“I’m sorry.”

She’s shaking in Toni’s arms and Toni just tightens up on her,

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name; thy kingdom come; thy will be done—

“Sometimes I feel like I’m the worst person on the planet,” Shelby whispers, “just for loving you. Sometimes I feel like I’m cheating God, just because I’m happy. Sometimes I feel like there is no God and I’ve been cheated, and whoever I am just crumbles into nothing. I don’t know if I am anyone anymore, I don’t know why you’re with me.”

—on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.

“I feel like the whole world is spinning on one axis, and I’m spinning on the other,” Shelby finishes.

Toni finally pulls away, hands still on Shelby’s biceps, Shelby still shaking under them.

“I’m with you because I love you,” Toni says. “What else is there?”

And there’s nothing else, is there?

When it all was stripped away, their hygiene and the fluoride in their water supply, their history and their secrets and their family and their responsibilities to everything but basic survival—all that was left was love. Love for each other, and their lives back home, and for the dead, and the world, and a hundred other things they hadn’t loved since they were little. Like the way the sky looks just before sunset, or the way it smells after it rains, and chocolate chip cookies their mom made for them after they got home from school. Like old people struggling to carry their grocery bags, or the kids with cancer when those ads came on the TV to donate, or the homeless man that always smiled at them.

That was all that was left, that love. And the love for each other.

There is no intrinsic reason why Shelby should love Dot and Fatin, or Rachel or Leah. There is no reason why she should love Nora and Martha. There is no reason why she should love her parents, her siblings. There is no reason why she should love Becca Gilroy.

There is no reason why she should love Toni Shalifoe.

But there is a reason, isn’t there? She loves Toni because she loves her.

Maybe Leah was right, that falling off a cliff won’t kill her. That’s faith isn’t it? Trust, blindly, openly, love because you love.

“I can’t walk home,” Shelby says. “My ankle it—”

“I’ve got you,” Toni says.

She does.

[lesbian-fabray]

lit through the darkness at 1:58 (you told me you loved me) - part three

Playlist Part One Part Two

I’ve officially finished writing this fic, so I can say this is part 3/6, and I’m going to try and get the rest of it out pretty quickly.

Summary: Toni and Shelby were best friends in high school, and the relationship turned romantic, but it ended poorly. Now, after years of feeling like the Shelby she sees now is not the Shelby she knows, Toni goes to talk to her.

The title comes from “Last Kiss” by Taylor Swift.

Anything italicized takes place in the past. :)

“Please just fucking say it, Toni. I need to know for sure, and there’s only one way for me to do that.” Toni almost laughs out loud. “I doubt that.”

“Damn it! Just say it, please! Stop trying to make it out like I’m this villain whose goal in life is to cause you pain, because you know for a fact that is not who I am, and it never has been.”

Toni wasn’t expecting Shelby to raise her voice, but she’s too happy that Shelby is showing some kind of emotion to be mad. It’s that display of something real that gets the brunette to stop being a dick and be honest for a minute.

“I love you.”

The confession is quieter than she meant for it to be, making it feel heavier than it should. It’s not like it’s the first time she’s ever said it to her. They’re words she’s said probably millions of times.

She remembers when she had said them in that lighthearted, platonic way that most teenage girls say them to their friends. She remembers saying them with that goofy smile and those bright eyes in those couple months where things had been good and Shelby was hers. She remembers when she said those words with so desperation, pleading for Shelby to just give some indication that she cared at all. She remembers the fearful and purposefully detached way she said them after her and Shelby got back to something that looked like the store-brand version of what was “normal” to them.

- - - - - - - - -

It was the day after the dance that Toni woke up to a text from Shelby.

“The fact that I am with Andrew will never change how much I love you.”

She didn’t really know how to react to that. She wanted to scream, to throw her phone, and to kiss Shelby all at the same time.

She settled on sobbing into her pillow.

- - - - - - - - -

It was silent for what felt like thirty minutes before Shelby spoke quietly.

“I love you too, y’know? I have for, like, four years, Toni. Having to ends things wasn’t easy for me.”

Toni almost couldn’t speak. She had hoped for this moment for more than three years, but now that she was here, she didn’t know what to do.

“Then why did you do it?”

Shelby looks as if she can’t believe Toni was asking this. “I had to, Toni. Too many people found out, and I couldn’t trust them all to keep their mouths shut. Hell, I know Marcus had meant well when he told Bernice, and I know she’d never say anything, but that scared the shit out of me, Toni. You know I couldn’t risk my dad finding out. You know what he would have done.”

Maybe Shelby had a point in being surprised Toni asked that. It was a stupid question with an obvious answer.

“What about now?”

- - - - - - - - -

It was the first Saturday of their senior year when things changed.

Shelby invited Toni to spend the night at her house because she had the place to herself for the weekend and got kinda freaked out about being alone at night. The two of them laid on the blonde’s bed, talking about literally anything that came into their heads.

“How are you doing, by the way? Like, emotionally, now that Andrew’s moved away? ‘Cause like, you guys broke up and you haven’t said shit about it.”

Shelby sighs. “Y’know, I thought I’d be upset, but I’m not. If I’m being honest, I kinda feel happier than I have in a while. I know it sounds wrong, but I feel good, Toni.” By the time she finished talking, there were big smiles on both of their faces. “That’s great, Shelbs.”

The two of them sit there in silence for a little bit.

“Toni, can I ask you a kinda personal question? It’s cool if you don’t want to answer it, but I have to ask.” Toni nods. “When did you know you loved me?”

The question catches Toni off guard. It wasn’t that they never talked about it, because they did. They valued being 100% honest with each other, and this was part of it. It was just that these conversations were usually on Toni’s terms.

She exhales and turns so she’s face to face with her friend.

“I figured it out when Fatin basically forced me to.” Shelby quirked an eyebrow in confusion, so Toni explained. “She came up to me at Leah’s party sophomore year and asked me when I was going to tell you I was in love with you. I didn’t know what she was talking about and she pointed out a bunch of things to me.” She thinks for a second. “That’s when it all sunk in, but if I’m being completely honest, I’ve probably always been in love with you. Like, since the moment we met. There’s always been this magnetic, irresistible thing about you, and I-”

She’s cut off by Shelby’s lips brushing against hers.

It’s soft and nervous, but it’s enough to shock the smaller girl. She pulls away and sits up.

“Shelby... I don’t think this is a good idea. For so many reasons.”

She finally looks up at the blonde and is met with these pleading eyes, so full of desperation and fear and affection.

“Toni, please...” “I don’t know if I can do this and be okay, Shelby.” “Toni...” The Texan takes in a shaky breath.

“It’s just that- I’ve wanted this for so long, Toni. Please. If I don’t do this now, I don’t now if I’ll ever be brave enough to try again.”

This is a horrible idea for so many reasons. Toni knows that. It could ruin everything they’ve built. What if Shelby draws back and gets freaked out? What if this is just her trying to placate Toni for some reason? She’d be crushed.

But still, there’s those big green eyes. They were working hard, jackhammering at Toni’s better judgement, making her think it may be worth the risk.

That’s why Toni moves closer. Why she lays back down and faces Shelby again. 

“Are you sure?”

Shelby rests her forehead against Toni’s and closes her eyes.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

[blinkaftermidnight]

I have a queeestion

You probbly already answered that but I tried going back a lot and saw none-

What made u like leatin so much? Like u write a fic after fic for them its INSANE ,or it doesnt have to do with ur ship but mostly ur passion for writing. Point still there,lol what made u like them👀

I went back through my own archive and found that I did indeed talk about this before here: x. Short answer: 1x09. The scene after Leah runs into the ocean made it all click for me. So obviously I went back and confirmed that, yep, there are all kinds of Leatin moments scattered throughout. It’s really just their dynamic. And the potential for enemies to friends to lovers. It’s hard to pin down exactly what it is that drives me to write fic after fic for them apart from their dynamic in canon and all the possible ways things could play out or be altered between them, depending on the story I’m trying to tell. 

I should be studying rn but let me just - let’s talk pre-island, island, and post-island Leatin possibilities. Because this is how I get ideas, and this is part of how I write. A lot of what I do is work with what’s presented to us in canon and then fuck it up in varying ways. Leah and Fatin have the most interesting dynamic on the island with the most potential for development (yeah, I said it). So the number of fics I’ve put up does have to do with my hard-to-explain pull toward Leatin, but working with the possibilities to tell so many different stories with the same incredibly complex characters is fun. This is what I do to entertain myself. Let me shed some light on my thought process by writing you a mini novel.

In canon, Leah and Fatin go to the same school but (as far as we know) really aren’t too aware of each other. Fatin thinks Leah’s a weird art prude, and Leah pretty much runs with Ian’s assessment of Fatin as a basic bitch plus based on what Leah says in 1x04, she likely sees Fatin as the school slut. Feel free to disagree with my pre-island interpretation of canon, but if this is roughly accurate, there are so many ways to disrupt that and tell a story completely without the island and without having to draw up an entire AU (such as the entire Unsinkable Eight goes to the same school or whatever). I did this with the second Leatin fic I ever wrote (the friends with benefits one here: x). I’m basically doing this with my current fic. Change the fact that Leah and Fatin don’t know each other before the island then work through how their dynamic operates without the island ever occurring. Maybe you’d even skip the enemies part of the enemies to friends to lovers thing that I like to use. Or maybe not. Literally, so many ways to change something between them and center a story around it.

As for the island, Leah and Fatin’s relationship to each other evolves rapidly. Like I said, potential for enemies to friends to lovers. Look at how things change between them from 1x04 to 1x05 to 1x09. I’ve written stuff set on the island, including in the days after the latest day canon has given us so far, because I’m very intrigued by how things are going to change between Leah and Fatin after 1x09 (and 1x10 really didn’t show us much of that). If you look objectively just at 1x09, by the end, Leah and Fatin are friends (though there’s still tension - Fatin’s conversation with Leah that ends with Leah telling her to fuck off, and then all the gay ass staring when Fatin holds her). And I love writing the other girls and including many different potential friendships among them. Plus I just love fucking up canon, taking one moment and changing it slightly to see what could happen. I’ve done that for Leatin (here: x and here: x) but I started that with my fics for FTWD. Just kinda how I like to write fanfic. I don’t always like to completely disregard canon (or just incorporate the bits I like) but to mess with it, you know?

The fic I’m working on right now is set completely post-island. I’ve written other fics that are set post-island. There’s so much that could happen, depending on how you assume things have gone down on the island or in the bunker, and depending on what happens with the rest of the Unsinkable Eight. (Depending on so many factors, actually. That’s the fun part: deciding what they are and how shit has gone down.) There are literally just so many fucking possibilities to write so many different stories with the same two characters that I already love. There are so many variables to be played around with. So many ways things can go down.

Look, Leah and Fatin are complex characters on their own. That in itself is fun to explore even before you include their friendship or a romantic relationship. (Not to mention how they relate to the other girls.) It just sparks my interest, which is hilarious because I was really writing for FTWD because I love writing within the zombie genre. Obviously The Wilds isn’t anything like that. You all have no idea how close I was to not watching The Wilds in the first place. Literally just started it on a whim late one night (while I was in the middle of watching another show, at that) and binged it in under 24 hours because it’s insanely entertaining. Also you’re all incredibly lucky @iamkidfish reached out to me, or you wouldn’t have nearly as many Leatin fics from me as you currently do. (Love you bud.) I probably would’ve retired from writing by now lmao. Believe me, I’ve considered it.

This is probably not at all what you were looking for from me, but I needed a break from studying and you gave me an opportunity. No regrets.

Tldr: it has to do with how much I love their characters and their dynamic and the way their relationship has progressed so far in canon in addition to all the possibilities that this opens up pre-island, on island, and post-island between them (and the other girls, and those friendships/relationships). And I love to write.

[blinkaftermidnight]

I guess I was thinking about it strictly in terms of the show...like how much of their interaction/investment in each other is based on them being a "pair." Would Fatin be as inclined to look out for Leah? Would Leah have been so obsessed with finding Fatin after their fight? I also found it interesting that they were the only ones who pretty much had zero connection with other pre-island (that we know about). It would be interesting to see if that isn't totally true in season 2. I do agree, ultimately, that their chemistry and dynamic would transcend any situation. They've got that kind of classic opposites attract thing going on. I was just pondering what the draw was for them in the first place. It's also hard to separate just what we see in the show and what we read into it as shippers. Like "you're my buddy from home" is a way different motivator than "you have pretty eyes and I want to kiss you," so maybe thinking about it at all is pointless since my mind is already firmly planted in non-canon anyway. BUT, even then, it opens up some different post-island options like you mentioned. I've seen a lot of people mention things like Leah assuming that shit won't be the same once they get home just because they got loaded onto Noah's ark two by two together. I'm rambling now...bye lol.

If you think you’re rambling, I’m REALLY about to ramble, so hang on. Let’s see if I make any sense. You’ve made a really good point. I didn’t think of it this way the first time around. Just to work with a concrete example, let’s talk about 1x05. I don’t quite see Leah’s determination to find Fatin in 1x05 as driven by a feeling of like “she’s from home so I need to find her.” It seemed more like Leah blamed herself for Fatin’s disappearance, but I’m not sure if her need to find Fatin stemmed more from their very weak home connection or if it was perhaps more linked to Leah’s guilt. I have always assumed it was more linked to Leah’s guilt over what went down between them. Maybe it would’ve been different if it’d been one of the other girls instead. Maybe Leah would’ve felt less guilty - or maybe not. Probably depends on how you read Leah’s character and how much she cares for the rest of the girls overall.

The question of “what was the draw for them in the first place” is interesting. I feel like that might be the main reason Fatin seeks Leah out in 1x01 after the game of Never Have I Ever. Fatin specifically goes to ask Leah about how she drank for Shelby’s opening NHIE, even though literally everyone but Martha and Shelby drank. Fatin, if she just wanted to strike up a friendly conversation, could’ve gone to one of the other girls but chose Leah. Why? That’s probably due to the fact that Fatin knows she goes to school with Leah, neither Leah nor Fatin knows anyone else (they don’t even know each other, but there is that one little connection), and Leah is therefore the safest choice. And maybe the fact that they’re from the same place is a little comforting, all things considered.

So maybe their hometown connection is the driving factor in the very beginning, but it seems to get less important as everyone gets to know each other. Is the main reason that Fatin ends up looking out for Leah (I’m especially thinking of the events of 1x09) due solely - or even mainly - to the fact that they go to the same school? I’m confident in saying, no, absolutely not. Even if we throw shipping aside for a minute, their friendship doesn’t appear to be based upon “oh, she’s from home.” They, as far as we know, didn’t even know each other back home! I think shit seriously changes for them after 1x04 and they kind of start from the beginning at the end of 1x05, and by then, who cares if you went to school together, right? You’re stranded on an island. Some shit happened. And that (maybe) creates more of a real bond.

I’m so tempted to compare them to the other relationships/dynamics on the island - mainly Dotin, Shoni, and Dot and Shelby - but I’ll hold off because this is already long and I’m not done yet.

Like you said, it really does open a lot of post-island possibilities. “Were we friends only because we were stranded on an island together and had very limited options?” seems like a fair question to ask. We can speculate about potential answers to that question (and incorporate it into fics, of course). The fact that they live close enough to each other to attend the same school becomes an important factor when they return home. They could stay friends without much difficulty if they wanted to (and if Fatin doesn’t fuck off to LA like she said in 1x08 lmao). So maybe it’s not a huge factor beyond, like, the pilot episode, but it could definitely come back around post-island.

I wrote a whole thing, as usual. Hopefully some of it made sense.