#but then refuse to understand why aziraphale wants to change heaven and make crowley happy again

[songbird-is-crying]

mfs be like “OMG Angel!Crowley is so cute!! He was so happy back then!! Just creating stars and feeling loved!! He’s so precious!! Must protect him!!!!” and then still act confused why Aziraphale wants to make Crowley an angel again 💀💀

[fellshish]

I understand that. Michael Sheen is attractive but the more I think about Aziraphale, the more he pisses me off because the worst thing he could have said was turning Crowley back into an angel. Crowley hates heaven and doesn’t wanna be an angel. Why does Aziraphale refuse to admit that both heaven and hell suck and why does he say that Crowley is a bad guy when he isn’t one?

Don’t worry, I didn’t think you were calling Michael Sheen unattractive :))

Ok, a lot to unpack here. But i love thinking about good omens so thank you for asking.

First of all, Aziraphale didn’t say Crowley is a bad guy. Crowley said that they asked him back to hell but he’s “not rejoining their team” and he said no. To that aziraphale replied “obviously you said no to hell, you’re the bad guys”. Not the most diplomatic way to say it, he should have said “they’re the bad guys”, but beneath the words is this: he thinks it’s logical crowley said no because he doesn’t think crowley is a right fit for hell. Because crowley is good.

Does he think crowley is right for heaven, then? Not as is — but perhaps as it could be. They could make it better, together. Crowley would be safe there: no longer hated and hunted by heaven or hell. Under aziraphale’s protection. The metatron made it very clear he knew what him and crowley had been up to for all those years, and there was a veiled threat in that, in my opinion.

Now aziraphale & heaven — it’s complicated. Aziraphale doesn’t like thinking about it. He likes living in blissful ignorance enjoying human delights such as books and theater. The last thing he wants to do is work. And over the past 6,000 years he has learned to see shades of grey but he’s also been unable to make real changes. And overall he considers heaven to be better than hell, still. There’s no real alternative.

His choice at the end of season 2, to me, makes a lot of sense. Let’s put it this way. Let’s say you’ve been working for a big charity for the longest time. There are flaws in the company: not everyone who deserves it, is getting help. The charity is being run really badly.

Then, they offer you a new position. You can run the charity. You can change it, but it’ll be hard and you’ll have to give up your current life. Your best friend says: we should just run off together and be happy together. Could you turn your back on the charity? Knowing you could’ve made a difference — or at least tried? That there are people who need help, that aren’t getting it, because you made a selfish choice?

Aziraphale and crowley both have their own flaws in their reasoning, their own motivations. I don’t think aziraphale is more wrong for choosing heaven than crowley is wrong for wanting to be cut off from everything.

The truth is this: the second coming is being put into motion. Aziraphale and crowley are humanity’s only hope.

Aziraphale thinks he can make a difference by influencing heaven. I don’t think he’s mean, or out of character, for that choice.

I do think he should tell crowley he loves him though.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

the s2 endgame

an incredibly long post that i will not apologise for but does contain multiple frames of michael sheens face, so-

the first beat, for me, that truly leads up to the kiss is when aziraphale says to crowley, "i don't think you understand what im offering you." because whilst im sure in part aziraphale was referring to the offer of restoration and - as he perceived it - what it meant for crowley (and that's what crowley denied with "i understand. i think i understand a whole lot better than you do."), i think aziraphale truly meant that crowley didn't understand what the restoration could give them. to restore crowley meant that aziraphale could give all of himself to crowley, with no fear of reprisal or comeuppance like they've had to suffer for their entire existence; "pretending that we aren't".

it meant that they could be safe, together, as two angels, and not on opposite sides in the eyes of heaven. they could work together to make things better, but they would be together. crowley was completely justified in refusing the offer, based on his own trauma and pain that heaven unforgivably dealt to him, but aziraphale wasn't necessarily asking crowley to forget or forgive that; but instead to be with aziraphale, aziraphale completely as he is with nothing hidden, nothing repressed, and nothing sequestered away in fear of retribution from heaven - or indeed in fear of rejection from crowley.

so when crowley said he understood more than aziraphale did, i imagine that meant to aziraphale that crowley did indeed see all of that, had heard aziraphale and knew what aziraphale was offering, the security and freedom as aziraphale saw it, but didn't want it - didnt want aziraphale, didn't want that version of us - anyway. crowley didn't mean it that way, of course; he meant he knew that the restoration would trap him, try to make him into an angel he no longer knew or wanted to be, and was rejecting what he thought aziraphale wanted him to be.

but i personally can't conceive any notion where aziraphale would ever have thought this - he's fallen for the not-quite-angel-not-quite-demon that crowley is now - why can't crowley see that? he just wants to give him back the same peace and joy that he had before the fall, but naively cant understand that being an angel doesn't make it so. it's not about being an angel, for aziraphale, but what being an angel could return to crowley... that it could fix the wounds that the fall left behind.

but here we arrive at "no nightingales". given the symbolism in popular culture and in mythology behind the nightingale, and the context of the nightingale in their story, it seems to me like crowley is saying that the conversation that has just transpired between them has broken something. and really broken something. it hasn't broken the love, per se - that's still there - but it's led to their own personal tragedy. their conflicting wants and needs have led to the downfall. that in crowley's eyes, there isn't a way to repair the damage that has been done. he doesn't even qualify that it's 'no nightingales singing', but the full absence of them, meaning that this has changed - poisoned - every chance of what could have been.

"we could have been us" compounds this; that in crowley's mind, there is no possibility of this now. that he knows what aziraphale will decide, what he will choose, and knows that he has already lost; and he's placing all of it at aziraphale's feet. that if the only way to see them be together is to be restored, to return to heaven, then crowley can't and will not do it - he doesn't understand why aziraphale would even entertain the thought and sees it as a reflection of aziraphale's distain for his current self.

aziraphale however sees it as an opportunity to ensure that they are safe in perpetuity, and wants to reverse the fall because the happiness and joy that he saw before is what he wants for crowley now, not realising that the two are, as of now, currently incompatible. so this line is, for aziraphale, the final deathblow; that there is no way back from this, the chance has faded to nothing even if the love between them remains - and they'll never get back the 'us' that existed before the event, let alone the 'us' that they both want now.

the wave hits aziraphale and bowls him over, makes him stagger. what he has been wanting - but couldn't initiate out of fear - is now completely impossible and will never happen. his face crumples, and he turns away, mirrors crowley in not looking at him, not letting him see the vulnerability and the sorrow. he looks to the left, into the dark and away from the light, into the space where crowley normally stands, always by his side, and not on the other side of the chasm that has now erupted between them.

but crowley does sees the face, and recognises it. he's seen it before, seen the expression of when aziraphale hears his sentence and resigns himself to his fate, and despairs in kind that this rift of both of their makings has put in on aziraphale's face. but he also sees it as a mark of hope; can I change his mind? can I offer him something that I haven't offered yet? he can feel the last burning embers of doubt, and he could stoke it. build to a full fire, to an inferno. words haven't worked, they never work - "it's always too late" - but in this case, just one time, action might. so then crowley - oh, crowley - makes up his mind. he has to know, whatever happens, that he did everything that he could possibly do to cling to this dream, this fairytale, where they might get to be together.

and it's pure desperation and determination, the swan dive off the cliff not knowing how far it'll be until he reaches the bottom. there's the smallest chance he might catch an updraft and fly. but the kiss - whether he intends it that way or not - is a temptation. and he's so good at that, isn't he? he tempted aziraphale into eating, he tempted him into dispatching a child... he knows he can do it, and he knows that aziraphale can succumb to it (whether it's because angels can in fact be tempted by demons, or because aziraphale can be tempted by crowley). he has nothing else to lose, but everything to gain, and that everything is slipping through his fingers, "you can't leave this bookshop", so what does it matter if he tries to keep aziraphale in the last way he knows how?

and even then this time, it's more; it's physical, it's raw, and it's human. their common ground. he's the serpent of eden, he tempted eve to the apple, he brought about the fall of humanity. crowley has gone beyond tempting aziraphale with sly words, assurances, and logic; this time, he's putting everything into it, giving it his all, so neither of them can ever say he didn't try. temptation was literally his first order, his first command; his most powerful and yet destructive capability. and each one, on aziraphale's part, has led to manifestly chipping away at aziraphale's divinity, his angelic core. each one has made aziraphale into the person he is today, the person that crowley loves, so whilst it may not be the right thing to do, it's the best chance he has to reach him.

so crowley grabs him, wheels him round to face him, and pulls aziraphale into him. there are no words, there's no gentleness, there's no finesse; it's practically animal, carnal and rough, and everything that - in all likelihood - neither of them wanted when they imagined how this moment would be, if it ever came. and throughout the whole thing, crowley does not move. his grip does not lessen, his mouth does not move, his expression does not falter; it's like he's serpentine again in all but form, constricting and gripping his prey into subjugation. it's instinctive, and unconscious, probably involuntary, but it leaves aziraphale with such little room, no space to breathe.

aziraphale visibly seems to struggle - somewhat physically, but certainly emotionally and mentally - and we can see that predominantly in his expression. he at least almost seems like he's trying to pull away, or create some space between them. it's not how he likely imagined their first kiss - if they ever got to have one and if aziraphale indeed ever imagined it - to be; it's not right, and it certainly doesn't feel like love. love may be behind the wheel, but what is slamming into him in possession, and anguish. i can't believe that aziraphale doesn't know or feel that, not going by the way he reacts. there's also the fact that - as far as we've seen - the last time crowley gripped him by the lapels and got this close to him was at tadfield manor, when crowley was all but raging at him, "im not nice, im never nice; nice is a four-letter word". it's an unmistakable parallel, and it may be that that four-letter word is swapped out for another one, it certainly doesn't feel like it in the moment.

but then aziraphale relaxes, rocks back towards crowley, and returns it. he grips at his back, at the space where resides his wings, and gives back crowley what he's asking for. it might be that aziraphale is trying to be kind - giving him the confirmation that he returns his love even if he can't act on it - or it might be because aziraphale actually realises that he likes it, this kiss, and the brutality of it. it might even be that he knows that this may be his only chance to show crowley that it's reciprocated; that he feels the same way. but it may also be, in addition to any or indeed all of the above, that aziraphale subconsciously succumbs to the temptation. gripped and bound, with nowhere to go, he surrenders to his fate - the freefall - and allows himself for a moment to sink. but then he steps back out of it, reins himself in, lifts his hands again from crowley, and crowley finally lets go.

crowley lets go, and stands back to see what it might have changed. did he tempt him, did he succeed? will his angel stay? it felt like he will, he felt his hands and how he surrendered - he didn't imagine it - and it might have worked in crowley's favour. it worked with the ox. it worked with the antichrist. there's no reason it wouldn't work this time, right?

until aziraphale steps back. he steps back, places that distance, the chasm, between them again, and looks for all the world that the heavens have caved in, crashing and splintering all around them. a look of utter despair, almost a plea that what happened didn't happen, because it changes everything. it puts what can't happen into the open, makes it more than the abstract. it's longing, and it's sorrow, and it's heartbreak that this could have been what they'd have.

but the fog starts to lift, the shock has settled in, and horror sweeps over; it's disbelief that crowley made that move, and made it in the way he did. it's waking up, coming-to, reality starts to seep back in. it's looking down at the board, and seeing a check on the king, a challenge that aziraphale never saw coming -

- and then it almost becomes fear and panic, backed into a corner, and not necessarily because someone could have seen them, or because crowley has now put something fundamentally physical to what they are (although i believe these could also be contributory to his reaction), but it's the dread of having to refuse and deny what crowley has put out between them, dangling between their fingers waiting to be held.

aziraphale begins to bargain, starts to try reconciling what just happened, and whether anything can be salvaged. he's had a tiny piece of what their future could hold for them, and he has a decision to make. he starts wavering, starts to oscillate between the decision to follow his head and do what he feels is the right thing in the long-term, or arguably betray the person he has become over the millennia, deny himself what he thinks is the right thing, and instead follow his heart; grasp at crowley, and the future he laid out before him.

he looks to crowley for guidance, he's lost, suddenly unanchored in a churning maelstrom. trying to gauge what move he should take - does he surrender the king, or move it to evade the check?

either decision means that the game is up or is only a matter of time before it folds; he either risks their safety by staying, or risks losing crowley by going. there isn't another option, there isn't another way, and aziraphale is teetering between the two. neither are options that he wholeheartedly wants to take. he begins to trying to speak, trying to get out words that are choking him, trapped in the snare of Things Unsaid. words to explain, to placate, to beseech, to plead, and it starts to really hurt.

and what hurts about it the most is that he's about to deny crowley. in the full scene - you can't get it from just the frames - his expression is complete heartbreak. he wants to explain why, even now, when he wants to stay more than anything, he has to choose heaven. why he has to choose to continue evading the check, why he has to continue to fight. and it's the prospect of hurting crowley in the process, of prolonging the pain, that is tearing him apart.

except. except. he's just realised what crowley was doing. it was desperation, and fear for losing aziraphale, and a last ditch attempt to cling to what they have and what they could have. all of these thing, out of love.

but what aziraphale realises is that it was manipulation. it was temptation. this one means something deeper, something darker, because to aziraphale it was calling him to betray who he truly is. and suggests that who he truly is isn't enough.

his gaze flicks up from the floor, and he finally makes full eye contact, staring crowley down. it's disbelief all over again; that crowley would resort to that trick, the trick that crowley knows is aziraphale's personal, heartfelt weakness, and one that he will - and demonstrably always has - succumbed to.

it's the disbelief that crowley would take this power and use it to mold and ply aziraphale into staying, when crowley should know that going - to "make a difference" - is the most aziraphale thing he could do. if crowley loves him, exactly as he is, why would he try to make aziraphale betray that?

the anger, the sense of betrayal, sets in, and spreads like hellfire. it relaxes his face, almost bringing him an eerie serenity. because he's seen that not only does he have to break the check (tirelessly continuing the chess metaphor), but he's going to fight back. he's seen that he can instead take the piece threatening him, and checkmate in kind.

it's the scorched earth option, but one that will demonstrate that he's not one to falter under the eyes of a challenge; he will stand his ground, roots digging into the earth, and will not be moved. he takes a breath, about to move his piece that will end the game. it will make crowley lose, but it was lost already; the game was up as soon as he told aziraphale he understood what aziraphale was offering him. because whilst crowley was talking about a place in heaven, aziraphale was talking about us.

and to aziraphale's mind, crowley was so unwilling to hear him, so ready to reject whatever narrative meant he would have to love aziraphale more than he hated heaven, that crowley would stoop to essentially trying to trick aziraphale into staying. into betraying who he is at his core.

instead, aziraphale steels himself; he knows who he is, and he will be enough. the acceptance of the situation, what it will mean when he 'wins', will do something unspeakable, but it must be done. he has to show his own claws, show how much it hurt. aziraphale takes a breath, even has a small smirk, and places the final piece.

"i forgive you."

[sageappa]

Ok, so, hear me out, HEAR ME OUT. I promise this is good speculation for GO3.

Good Omens was renewed for a third and final season. (I have been screaming and crying out of joy since 15:05 of my time zone, the exact time when Good Omens Prime's X account posted the news. But that's not the point.)

Mr. Gaiman, about this renewal, said:

"Season One was all about averting Armageddon, dangerous prophecies, and the End of the World. Season Two was sweet and gentle, although it may have ended less joyfully than a certain Angel and Demon might have hoped. Now in Season Three, we will deal once more with the end of the world. The plans for Armageddon are going wrong. Only Crowley and Aziraphale working together can hope to put it right. And they aren't talking."

So if I read it correctly, and if my English as a non-native isn't failing me, it seems that this time Aziraphale and Crowley actually intend to make Armageddon happen.

The plans are going wrong. Together, they can hope to put it right.

So what on Earth could have made them change so drastically their idea? What changed? Did Metatron do something to Aziraphale? Did Crowley get so depressed without his Angel that he'd rather have the world get destroyed? Naaah. Nah, I don't think so. They're both too attached to Earth and earthly beings to change their minds so quickly.

No, my guess is Armageddon changed.

It should have been how the Bible says: the coming of the Antichrist, the Four Horsemen riding, the enormous battle, etc. But it wasn't. And the Antichrist (or former Antichrist, since he refused Satan's paternity) won't collaborate to make the world end. What to do then, if both Heaven and Hell wanted it so bad?

Well. If Hell didn't make it, Heaven could get their try. (And Crowley knew this. Crowley knew that they'd come to some similar solution. That's why "he understands it a lot better than Aziraphale does.")

At the very end of Season Two, we hear this conversation between Metatron and a very unhappy Angel:

METATRON: Well, I can't think of a better angel to wrap things up, and to set into motion the next step in the great plan.

AZIRAPHALE: Um, yes, you mentioned that. Can I know what it is?

METATRON: Well, it's something we need an angel of your talents to direct. An angel who is familiar with how they do things on Earth.

AZIRAPHALE: Ah.

METATRON: We call it the Second Coming.

So Heaven is going to make their move. And it will be with a Second Coming - another Christ, another son (or daughter?) of God. With Armageddon in their minds.

It's the Anti-Antichrist.

Aziraphale is now the Supreme Archangel and, as Gabriel did with the very first Annunciation, he will have to give the happy news to the mother of this baby. In a contemporary world. Where no one would believe that easily the "it's God's son!" story. Yeah, good luck Aziraphale, no wonder Heaven needed someone who spent six thousand years on Earth to do this job. (And if they're planning Armageddon, who cares if Aziraphale still is Supreme Archangel, there would be just heavenly sounds and no problems at all after Heaven wins the war. Right? Just let the dude with a lot of knowledge about human do the job and then whatever.)

But. Do you really think that Aziraphale would just do it and make Armageddon happen exactly as intended by Heaven? Do you really think that, after what happened, after the Armageddon't, after him having to say no to his beloved Demon and losing him - and even though all of this happened he was still ready to throw himself in Heaven, in that lions' pit made of angels that always bullied him! -, after the courage he showed and the hope to make a change and do good -- do you really think he would just say "yes" to this? (I know, I lost my English here, I'm sorry, I'm just super-hyped.)

Oh, no, come on. He's still enough of a bastard worth knowing.

He is the Supreme Archangel, and even if everyone would just want him to be a nice puppet and do what the others say to him, he won't throw away his shot, I can assure you that. (How fun would it be though to have a scene where Michael and Uriel are kind of arguing between themselves about who should "suggest" Aziraphale what to do? And then Saraquel having to intervene?) No, no, Aziraphale learned from Crowley that sometimes he has to make his voice a little louder and be more incisive, as shown when in the last episode of Season Two he takes the lead in the library - while Heaven and Hell discuss what to do with Gabriel and Beelzebub. And he will do that again. He will make everything he can. He sacrificed his own happiness with Crowley for that. He cannot fail... and he has to do it alone. It's scary. He'll be anxious, but he'll do it. For the world. For good. For Crowley too. And for sushi.

So Aziraphale will try to make Armageddon something different. It's not "the" Armageddon, it's "his" Armageddon. Or theirs. He would have loved it, to be theirs - his and Crowleys'.

Our beloved angel is spot on in finding all those little quibbles that allow him to not go openly against the rules but also not follow them strictly. Maybe he'd find something also for the Armageddon. Maybe he'd find an Armageddon that would involve only Heaven and Hell, leaving the world and humans be. Maybe the Armageddon will become a way to reinvent Heaven and Hell. Make them fight, have their war on some galaxy far away from Earth, "destroy themselves" (I'll get to this later) and then a new Heaven and a new Hell would rise from their ashes. You know, how they became toxic, and everything else Crowley always repeats? Maybe it is not possible to change them without them having their war. They won't stop until they'll have had it, so maybe the only way is to give them war.

Or at least, to make them believe it.

What if Aziraphale and Crowley would actually need to collaborate in order to trick Heaven and Hell into thinking they had/are having their war? What if this plan cannot be done just by an angel? What if this is their only chance to stop this madness, once and for all, even though it's not easy for neither of them to get in contact again so soon after what happened?

[tio-trile]

came back here on tumblr after literal years just for gomens 2 stuff and i got a notif from you. I feel happy seeing your blog again,, so its so surprising for me that you disliked s2, purely just bc youre someone i consider as monumental to the entire fandom bc of your loyalty pre-TV era. so it's intriguing to know your thoughts abt the tv version.

i read your points and DAMN you reminded me of the stuff i didnt like back in s1 that I FORGOT bc so many years have passed since i watched + read the series. I forgot how much I loved bastard, asshole Aziraphale. TV him is characterized as 100% good, better than heaven dude which isn't bad.. and hes very fluffy and adorable. But i always liked the difference between that and crowley being a demon and yet nice. i always missed him calling him "my dear" too. If theyre gonna make them lovey dovey in TV, make him call him my dear damn it!!

As a book fan too, i personally loved s2. But reading your points made me realize it wasnt completely perfect so I respect your side. I do hope s3 turns out to be better than our expectations so you can tune back to it again. I just want you to have more content that you can enjoy even if it's completely new stuff. I understand the feeling so bad of having new stuff but being unable to enjoy it (a diff show for me). Makes you wonder what kind of plot he and Terry originally planned for all this fanservicey stuff to happen. I agree about the book part too, Crowley would never throw those around! The part with them meeting as angels, honestly I think it wouldve been better if they just didn't remember it so they wouldn't ruin their first meeting in the book. It would've been fine as a throwaway like "they met but don't remember."

With the finale,, hmmm I think TV!Azira's characterization def plays a part in why he did it. TV!him screams as someone who is still insecure about being an angel and losing his privileges. So he took the only opportunity he could to change heaven so he and Crowley could live in peace, after seeing Gabriel who is alr so powerful, be cast away after that decision. I'm curious though, how would you think book!him would think in this decision?? With an Armageddon 2 coming up again I can't imagine of anything else the two of them could do to fight it again w/o an influence in higher power.

Oh geez, I sure hope that nobody has notification on for my blog right now 😂 (or ever)...it'll be so annoying for them 🤣🤣 and honestly, I'm just some guy on the internet running a blog with no profit to gain from being "loyal" to a fandom, so I'm gonna truthfully share my opinions. And yeah like you said, it's possible to enjoy the book and the show at the same time, just taking into consideration that they are different media and characters. It's hard to imagine book!Aziraphale in this situation because there has been too many differences that led to this situation......and I just don't see book!Aziraphale in this situation, because to begin with, I don't think Gabriel would even go to him in times of trouble, lol. So let's say that Metatron directly went to him after everything had happened and Gabriel had already ran off and offered him the position (with an offer he can't refuse) -- I think he would have to accept on the surface, and then he would immediately go to Crowley to try to work their way out of it/figure out a way to keep the position but still slacks off all the time like he's always done 😂😂

[booksandmate]

When Heaven ends life here on Earth it’ll be just as dead as if Hell ended it. Tell me you said no.

If I’m in charge, I can make a difference.

Ok ok listen. The first ten times I saw this as Aziraphale not really knowing how to answer and going a different way. But no. He is answering, and this is the point of their whole discussion.

At this point Crowley is completely resigned but Aziraphale is not. They both know Heaven is not ideal, the difference being, Aziraphale stills believe it could, while Crowley doesn’t even bother anymore. And the worst thing is that it fucking makes sense.

Aziraphale doesn’t want to accept the new position to rule Heaven as it is. He sees this as an opportunity to make a change, to do what they have always wanted to do but couldn’t because they didn’t have the power: to save humanity.

And of course he thinks Crowley will be happy to hear it. He was there with him before the beginning. He saw how devastated Crowley was when he learned that the plan was to end it all in six thousands years. He could sense from then (and from all the things he did in the following centuries too) how much Crowley loves the creation and how he despises the idea of its destruction.

But in the end, as much as Crowley hates it, he has accepted it (which Aziraphale has not). And this is ultimately rooted (again) in their inability to communicate. Crowley knows that what happened to Gabriel was the result of him wanting to change things, so it’s only natural that he finds Aziraphale’s idealism to be exasperating.

But Aziraphale doesn’t know. He wasn’t there and Crowley didn’t tell him. And so he quite can’t understand why would Crowley refuse what seems to be the opportunity of their existence to save what they love.

[fellthemarvelous]

The case for Aziraphale (perception matters and this is just MY opinion)

Spoilers ahead.

It's a bit sad when you think about the fact that Hell is busting at the seams with the damned. Hell is an absolutely miserable place.

And it's because Earth is miserable as a whole.

And humans continue to struggle because Heaven does not care about humanity at all.

Heaven is supposed to be a place of love and light.

Heaven is, instead, a place where the elite few exist. They stand in their tower over the rest of the world, watching, but not caring about the damage their apathy is causing. Humans continue to suffer because the angels look down on humans almost as much as they do the demons.

They even look down on the angels they consider lower class.

They are CRUEL and they are VILE (see Gabriel).

Behind the scenes, you realize that Heaven is worse than Hell. In Hell, they know they are the "bad guys", so they behave accordingly. They are Heaven's cast-offs. Heaven justifies their cruelty by saying they are doing God's will even though the only angel we've seen actually converse with God is Aziraphale, however briefly.

Aziraphale spent 6,000 years existing around humans. And his only friend through all of it was a fallen angel, so they were never able to openly express themselves around each other.

Aziraphale constantly fears doing the wrong thing because all angels are fearful of doing the wrong thing. We saw this when the Metatron revealed himself and Uriel immediately asked if they had done anything wrong. They were terrified, and the Metatron refused to confirm or deny.

But Aziraphale, who has spent 6,000 years with humans, developed a set of morals that none of the other angels in Heaven possess.

His relationship with Crowley gave him a perspective that not one other angel in Heaven has. Aziraphale has always loved Crowley. There is not a time he has not loved Crowley, but Aziraphale knew Crowley when Crowley was still an angel. He remembers when Crowley was happy and when Crowley created beautiful nebulas. He remembered the look of awe on Crowley's face and the way Crowley covered him with his wing to shield him from flying stars.

And then he remembers when Heaven cast Crowley aside and turned him into a demon. Aziraphale loved Crowley before he fell and that love never changed after Crowley fell.

Aziraphale is an angel who truly represents love and light the way Heaven should because he has empathy, a trait you see none of the other angels possess.

Why else would God send Aziraphale to live among the humans? He's the one who gave Adam and Eve a fighting chance when they were cast out of the Garden of Eden. He gave away his flaming sword so Adam and Eve could survive in the unknown. He was looking out for humanity from day one. He understands humanity better than anyone else. And he knows Heaven is the problem.

Hell was created by Heaven.

And Heaven is supposed to be better than this.

The Metatron might have manipulated the conversation, but Aziraphale is not stupid. He wants to make Heaven a better place.

Gabriel walked away from Heaven to be with Beelzebub.

Yes, Aziraphale and Crowley could do the same thing, but Aziraphale cannot abandon humanity. He still has hope that Heaven can change for the better because no one deserves to suffer needlessly.

His duty has always been to humanity.

He wasn't being selfish when making the choice to go back.

He and Crowley were not having the same conversation because they had never been good at communicating their feelings. They've never been allowed to.

Crowley loves humanity too, but nothing matters more to him than Aziraphale. He retained his kindness even after he fell, but Aziraphale was the only one he could trust completely.

I feel like huge chunks of Crowley's memory are missing though.

And I think Metatron is the reason why.

We saw the look that Metatron gave him before his conversation with Aziraphale.

The Metatron is calculated and good at hiding in plain sight. He knows how to blend in and knows how to manipulate others into doing what he wants.

The Metatron isn't wrong. Aziraphale is the most logical choice. He has spent 6,000 years with humanity.

But he thinks Aziraphale will fall in line without Crowley around.

Aziraphale is going to have to stand up for himself without Crowley there to rescue him.

But because Aziraphale and Crowley have never stopped to talk about their feelings, neither of them realized they were having two different conversations.

Aziraphale's duty has always been to humanity.

Crowley loves humanity, but everything he does, he does for Aziraphale. Aziraphale is his only friend.

But Aziraphale cannot abandon humanity no matter how much he wants to be with Crowley.

It never occurred to him that Crowley wouldn't be on his side for this. Because they never talk to each other about their feelings.

Regardless of whether or not you think Aziraphale made the right choice, Aziraphale is doing what he believes is right. Aziraphale always tries to do the right thing.

Heaven is fundamentally broken and Aziraphale wants to repair it.

He saw what they did to Crowley. He sees the way they treat other angels, including him. He sees how very little regard Heaven has for anyone else, and it won't get any better if he doesn't try to make things better.

None of this is to diminish the pain Crowley feels either. Aziraphale is hurting too though.

And I think all of this is going to bite Metatron in the ass. He thinks that Aziraphale will be easier to control without Crowley around, but no one has ever been able to control Aziraphale.

Heaven has become a prison for the angels. They tried to wipe Gabriel's memory when he decided to leave Heaven and had plans to demote him instead of allowing him the free will to make the choice for himself.

Heaven forgot how to love because they are all far more concerned with being right than being compassionate, but once Gabriel fell in love with Beelzebub, he realized he cared more about that than taking sides and going to war.

This is what Aziraphale wants to correct. If Gabriel can change, then the entirety of Heaven can change, but Heaven needs to be exposed to love again if it stands a chance of being better than it is now.

I have a million other thoughts about Good Omens, but it will take me forever to cover everything.

Everything is going to be okay in the end. The love they have for each other is not easy to destroy. They will find their way back to each other.

[what-gs-watching]

“It all looked so simple in Jane Austen.”

So after I finished Good Omens (and sobbed, and got deep into fanfic, and sobbed some more, and then immediately started it over, and over)  I harassed my sister into watching both seasons, she’s on maternity leave and was looking for something. I made her text me along her journey and I was sooo excited for her to get to the end, I was literally tracking her and squealing about it to my husband.

Gang. After she watched the finale, she just said “I never got a romantic vibe from them….”

Like. I can’t. I literally said “c’mon that’s not real” but she doubled down. I understand we’re different people and we watch things differently but jesus. It was extremely disappointing. This is why she always wanted to unsubscribe from What G’s Watching, clearly. 

But we’re gonna shake it off, and talk about it. Season 2 episode 6. And how absolutely fucking crushing it is. Thank god for the internet. 

Right. So Aziraphale starts enacting his own plan while Shax tries to be menacing outside, setting up his portal to heaven. It looks good on baby boy, not going to lie, guardian of the Eastern gate comes out, it’s that ‘little bit of a bastard’ we’ve been looking for all season.

Up in heaven Crowley gives a rousing speech about bees to convince Muriel to take him to her office,  and then changes his getup after they call him a “murder hornet, or a snake…” Bravo to whoever designed this outfit, the tracksuit and the little sandals and his painted nails. He’s hippity hoppity Crowley and it’s so endearing. 

Muriel is fairly upset when they realize they’re helping a demon but they produce Gabriel’s file anyway because they can’t open it, so why not; “you need to be a throne or dominion or above.” But Crowley can. And I know there are a ton of theories out there about why he can, but my favorite likens Crowley to an engineer (he did create the stars, afterall) that’s been fired by a lazy startup who never changes their API keys. Of course, that’s not as salacious as the thought that he was an important angel before he fell, but it’s my favorite thought. I love engineers. 

Come to find out that Gabriel had decided that he didn’t want to do Armageddon 2: Electric Boogaloo, refusing to use his powers as Supreme Archangel, and the rest of the crew were none too happy about it. Saraquel shows up while they’re watching the scene unfold, and again Crowley doesn’t remember someone he supposedly worked closely with (more implications, but I can’t right now) and so she lets Crowley see Gabriel’s resulting “trial”.

Surprise, Metatron is running the thing - Gabriel thinks he’ll be sent down to hell but he says  no, one archangel cast down is a good story but two makes it look like an institutional problem (it absolutely is) and so instead he’ll have his memory wiped, and become a scrivener, one level below Muriel. Crowley gives her a sweet little pat on the arm when she’s proud of that, it’s so endearing. 

Gabriel seems to take it in stride, asks if he can clean out his desk and they let him, because sure, and he makes a break for it. You can see him stripping out of his heavenly suit while wielding the box he showed up to Az’s shop with, scribbling something on the bottom and then dropping the matchbox as he enters the elevator. 

When they realize he’s doing something squirrely, they try to wipe his memory without him present (y’all dicks)  only to realize he’s no longer in heaven. Metatron is none too happy, it’s clear that mofo is pulling the strings entirely, and instead of sounding the alarm, he wants the other angels to find him, quickly and quietly.

Back at the shop, Shax tries to convince Maggie and Nina into letting them in, taunting Maggie who is suddenly very brave , butMaggie accidentally tells them to come in and say their insults to her face. So, they do. 

And Aziraphale’s trick with the portal works for a bit, stupid demons keep stepping in and getting vaporized, but that’s not going to work for long so they retreat up the spiral stairs while the demons advance. 

At the top, Nina and Maggie arm themselves with fire extinguishers, a lot of fire extinguishers. Which I’m sure we all imagine is Crowley’s doing, I can see him trying to clandestinely fill the bookshop with them after the devastating fire. I guarantee it’s his (not so) irrational fear. And you know Aziraphale noticed but said nothing about it, because why would they talk about those horrible feelings.

So as the demons try to climb the stairs the girls are spraying the extinguishers and that works a bit too. Shax is back at trying to be menacing, though she does a bit of a better job - calling Az Crowley’s emotional support angel, she accuses him, “the softest touch, the one who went native”, sneering at him about big human meals and sushi. And you can see it gets to him. He’s probably thinking he should be more ferocious in the face of all this.

And then the girls run out of extinguishers and they ask if they can throw books and he hates the idea, they offer encyclopedias and he acquiesces. I love the look on his face while they’re hurling the books though, he has gone native but it’s in the sweetest little ways. He loves knowledge; Crowley gave humans knowledge.

It’s now time for Aziraphale to do something, really do something, so he goes for broke. He steels himself and he removes his halo from seemingly nothing and he throws it down into the shop. One of the demons toe at it gently and then TADA! All demons (except Shax) are blown to bits. Guardian Aziraphale says “I may have just started a war”, because of course he did. 

In heaven, Crowley, Muriel and Saraquel see alarm bells so they decide to head back down to get involved in Aziraphale’s mess, and I love the scene in the elevator with all the angels huddled against one side while Crowley grins at them from the other and his clothes change back, “funny old world, isn't’ it?”

When they show up in the bookshop Az is so excited and Crowley asks what he did to them all. He’s not proud to admit he “did the thing with the halo” but Crowley absolutely loves it; yes he loves to rescue Aziraphale but he also loves when Aziraphale stands up for himself. Boy is tickled over it. 

But of course shit’s about to get real, Beelzebub shows up with a handful of demons all thrilled that they’re finally at war. Crowley isn’t having it, he’s commanding a room full of idiot angels and idiot demons and he asks Az for the box Jim/Gabriel showed up with so they can sort this shit out. On the bottom, he’d written “I’m in the FLY!” 

So they turn it over to Beez, who finds the fly that’s been sneaking around the entire season, and she says “it’s familiar.” she coaxes it over to her, sweetly, “look at you, you’re perfect.” It’s a turnaround for her - we haven’t seen much of her this season but last season she was absolutely not any kind of soft. 

She gives the fly to Gabriel, tells him to take it gently and open it. And he does. 

Is this part a little rushed? Yes. We see Gabriel traveling through his memories, meeting Beezlebub during the apocalypse-that-wasn’t, commiserating over their jobs. And then they meet in a pub to talk about apocalypse mark II, but their hearts don’t seem exactly in it. A third meeting, where Gabriel proposes they maybe don’t armageddon at all - Beez is intrigued, and agrees, and they hear “Everyday” playing on the pub’s speakers. Beezlebub says she likes it, and Gabriel decides that if she does, he does too. 

Every time they meet they say there’s no reason to ever meet again. And then a fourth time, Gabriel takes Beez to his statue in Edinburgh (which I think is absolutely hilarious, calling back to the conversation in 1827 wherein Crowley suggests he comes down to stare at it and marvel at his own beauty. Bingo.)

They go to the Resurrectionist pub afterward and they sit in a cozy little booth at the back. Gabriel miracles the jukebox to play “Everyday”, he tells Beez it’ll always be there on, to ease the afflicted, and she’s appreciative of the gesture. She gives him a gift in return, the fly, which she says is a container. Gabriel says “no one’s ever actually given me anything before.”

And that’s all it takes, y’all. Heaven is so sterile and unfeeling and clean and cold that all it takes for an archangel to think ‘fuck it’ is a small gesture of kindness, of thought. For someone to give him something. Crowley’s been giving Aziraphale things for 6,000 years.

In the shop, Gabriel is full Gabriel now and everyone realizes slowly what’s going on. Beezlebub is called a traitor for collaborating with heaven, but she says she didn’t collaborate any more than Gabriel did. And then she says:

“I just found something that mattered more to me than choosing sides.”

The LOOK on Aziraphale’s face, he reaches out and grabs Crowley’s shoulder. Sweet angel is incredulous and excited and hopeful. And it’s what Crowley has been trying to tell him ALL ALONG. They matter more than choosing sides, they always have. 

Is it infuriating that Gabriel and Beezlebub can figure this out in what must feel like, 30 seconds to them? Absolutely. But the problem is, neither one of them gives a shit about earth or humanity. Crowley and Az are on their own side, but that side has always included the stupid little planet that brought them together. So it can’t be as simple. Nothing can ever be as simple. 

Meanwhile, Nina and Maggie are still in the shop but they need to  be ushered out so as not to turn into pillars of salt. Crowley says he’ll take them but Aziraphale is still holding his shoulder and when he breaks away you can see Az take a few steps forward still reaching for him. He’s so close to getting what he wants, if they can just wrap this situation up.

The point is, Beezlebub and Gabriel want to go off together and be left alone. Crowley tells the Alpha Centauri is nice, he always wanted to go, and Aziraphale’s face, again, jesus Michael Sheen and that face. The flicker of recognition and understanding, my poor heart. Beez tells  Shax she can be a duke of hell to discourage her from looking for them, and then they hold each other’s hands and disappear while singing “Everyday”. Annoying yes, but still sweet. 

In the coffee shop, there’s a slightly familiar old man, fucking Metraton, ordering a coffee from Nina and he asks her if anyone ever asks for ‘death’, gesturing at the name of the shop. She says no, they don’t, he says “No I don’t suppose they do, so predictable.” 

This asshole takes the coffee he ordered and heads over to the bookshop, interrupting the threats to be erased from the book of life being hurled at Aziraphale. The angels don’t recognize him. But Crowley does. Metraton tells the angels they don't have the authority to do what they’re suggesting, and he sends them back upstairs (minus Muriel) after they ask if they’ve done anything wrong and he tells them that remains to be seen.

Metatron asks Az if they can talk, and Aziraphale says there’s nothing to discuss, since his position has been made pretty goddamn clear. But Metatron offers him the coffee, goads him into taking it and having a sip. No one ever asks for death. He looks back to Crowley to figure out what to do (instinctual, heartbreaking) and Crowley tells him to go on. So he does. 

Muriel is still in the shop though, and Crowley tries to get her to go, he tells her that when Az returns they’re going to need “us time” (swoon, again), he says he wants to have an extremely alcoholic breakfast at the Ritz. He thinks the worst is behind them for now and he just wants to be with Aziraphale, and it’s just so dear. He gives Muriel a book and she leaves, and he sets himself to cleaning up the shop, fixing the bookshelves and covering the portal and messing about with Aziraphale’s chair, he’s anxious but he’s removing the obstacles in the way of his planned little trip. He just wants to be with the angel in a place that’s meaningful for them.

And then we see Nina and Maggie bickering a bit in the shop, Maggie wants to talk to Az and Crowley but Nina doesn’t think it will help, though she gives in anyway. They bust in on Crowley and tell them they have to talk to him, these girls are gonna call him on his shit. They tell him they’re real people, they aren’t toys to be played with, and he tries to defend the little charade that he and Az both had put on for them, but they don’t care. 

They tell him he needs to talk to Aziraphale. And he says they talk all the time, they’ve talked for millions of years. Except we all know that’s not talking, it’s not communicating. THEY’RE TALKING PAST EACH OTHER. They tell him that he needs to actually say what’s on his mind. And he seems to understand, finally. 

Woof. Okay. And then, Aziraphale comes back into the shop. And everyone holds their fucking breath.

Crowley tries to dive into it, he really does “if I don’t start talking I won’t ever start talking” but Aziraphale stops him because he can’t pick up on social cues?! Or how nervous Crowley is right now??! Or how serious he’s being?? I can’t.

It tumbles out of Aziraphale, he tells him that Metatron has asked him to replace Gabriel, because he’s a leader, and he doesn’t tell people what they want to hear. And Aziraphale resists at first, saying that he doesn’t want to go back to heaven. But Metatron pulls Crowley in, saying that their arrangement has been irregular, but if Az was archangel, he could restore his friend to full angelic status. The more you watch this part, the more it sounds like a fucking threat. And it is. Everyone asks for coffee, they never ask for death - Aziraphale took the coffee hesitantly, and if he doesn’t fully accept it, it really is death, but not for him. 

He paints a prettier picture for Crowley though, he seems to be excited and thrilled with the idea even though it’s not truly shining through. “You could come back to heaven and everything, like old times, only nicer!” Which Crowley hears as a slap in the face. Hears it as ‘I’ve been tolerating you but I’d really like to go back to the way things were’, hears it as a million different terrible things.

So he explodes a little bit and tells Aziraphale he’s better than that, “we’re better than that!”They don’t need them, they’re toxic.  He says they wanted him to be a duke of hell and he refused and fucking Aziraphale says obviously he said no to that, “you’re the bad guys”. My dude is choosing all of the wrong words. You’re gonna say “you’re” there? For real? Jesus christ. Because heaven is the side of “truth and light” and really baby, you are so far off the reservation right now. How the fuck do you truly think that anymore? 

Crowley tells him: “When Heaven ends life here on Earth, it'll be just as dead as if Hell ended it.” And it’s so crucially important but what he should have said was - ‘they’re not going to give up on trying to destroy everything and they’re tricking you into helping them’ but he doesn’t. And he’s so angry, he wants Azirphale to tell him that he said no, the second time he repeats it it’s so deflated, defeated, sad. But Az is convinced he can make a difference. 

This is where that familiar trope would come in wherein the character that was trying to confess how they really feel gives up, but I have to give this man credit, Crowley decides he’s going to power through it, he’s gonna say the things he needs to say, even if he already knows the outcome.

And everyone is still fucking holding their breath. Because poor Crowley is too, trying to get it all out. David Tennant is a beautiful disaster, huffing and stumbling and looking away and looking back. And it falls apart spectacularly.

“We've known each other a long time. We've been on this planet for a long time. I mean, you and me. I could always rely on you. You could always rely on me. We're a team, a group. A group of the two of us. And we've spent our existence pretending that we aren't. I mean, the last few years, not really. And I would like to spend...I mean, if Gabriel and Beelzebub can do it, go off together, then we can. Just the two of us. We don't need Heaven, we don't need Hell, they're toxic. We need to get away from them, just be an ‘us’. You and me, what do you say?”

How Aziraphale doesn’t crumple at all of this, I will never understand. Like, are you hearing what this beautiful demon is offering you? Maybe he shouldn’t have insinuated that you’d ‘leave’ together, he doesn’t want to go anywhere, not really but my brother in christ, he puts his heart on a platter all trussed up and still you’re not hearing him. Now would be a good time to tell him you don’t really have a choice, but oooh baby, you’re gonna lie through your teeth. Cool. Cool, cool, cool.

Instead, he asks Crowley to come to heaven and be his second in command (so fucking laughable) and insists again they can make a difference. Poor demon says “you can’t leave this bookshop” at that, and Az tells him nothing lasts forever. The girls had told Crowley to say what he’s really thinking, but he still isn’t doing it - you can’t leave me, you can’t leave earth, you can’t leave what we’ve built together.

 Hurdling onward, Crowley puts his sunglasses back on at that, he’d given his little confession without his ever-present protection, and he just says “Good luck.” At which point, Aziraphale makes a go of it himself, saying “Work with me! We can be together! Angels, doing good!” (and the ‘angels’ part is where he fucked up, he knows Crowley would never, ever, ever want to be an angel again). 

When Crowley’s not moved, he’s got one last thing, squeaking out: “I…need you!” and those are the wrong three words. We all know it. It’s there in his hesitation. And then he’s a little bit of an asshole, to protect himself: “I don’t think you understand what I’m offering you.” Which is essentially protection, a nowhere-near-perfect-but-maybe-it-can-be-enough way to be together.

Crowley tells him “I think I understand a whole lot better than you do” because that’s true, he knows neither of them would  be safe there, it’s a fucking TRAP, why isn’t he screaming it’s a trap?! I get it, he wants Aziraphale to say no because he should be enough, because Aziraphale needs to fully accept they’re on their own side for once, but the poor little one is not working off enough information, he hasn’t been. And It’s not fair to keep it from him, but here we are.

Sad little demon has to twist the knife a little bit, and he asks “do you hear that?” and of course there’s nothing to hear. He says, “No nightingales” and it breaks Aziraphale like it should. The song that had been playing at the Ritz when they toasted to the world. That was supposed to imply they’d get their happy ending. The words do what they need to do.

Has anyone breathed this entire time? How was I simultaneously holding it in and screaming at the two of them at the same time? Crowley waits a beat  and he says “You idiot…we could have been us” and I guarantee you there’s no air in the room and Aziraphale looks like he’s going to cry (or is likely crying already) and Crowley crosses the room and he grabs the angel by his lapels and

Crowley kisses him. 

Like he’s desperate. Like it’s a ‘hail mary’ that he knows isn’t going to work. Like it’s the last chance he’ll ever get. And it isn’t sweet, it isn’t tender, it isn’t a vavoom under an awning or a sudden revelation during a slow dance. 

Aziraphale looks like he’s in pain, and his hands flutter around a bit, one of them resting on Crowley’s shoulder briefly, he doesn’t know what the fuck to do, it’s not like it should be at all, and it’s fucking agonizing to watch. It’s a fucking gut punch. For them, for everyone.

When they break away, Aziraphale does crumple (as much as he can anyway) and then he says the worst thing he could possibly say. “I forgive you.” It’s the most devastating of the wrong three words he could possibly choose. There’s hesitation again, but he still chose wrong. No more Guardian of the Eastern Gate, no more bravery. Always wrong.

Crowley tells him not to bother, and then he’s gone. At this point, we need to give all the awards to Michael Sheen - Aziraphale’s face is a mash of anguish and anger and desperation and frustration and confusion and broken and he just puts his hands to his lips (so did I). Utter devastation.

We all know the rest: Metatron comes back and ushers Aziraphale out of the bookshop even though he does half-heartedly try to say maybe he’s changed his mind, it doesn’t matter now though, he’s done too much damage and he knows it. So he goes. And Crowley’s there outside, standing stock fucking still against the Bentley, staring through his shades. You know his eyes never leave Aziraphale, you know the angel can feel every ounce of it, and before he gets on the elevator he does dare to look back, but he steps in anyway. 

Oh, the grand plan, by the way? The one Aziraphale is perfect to lead? The second coming. 

Crowley gets in the Bentley once they’ve gone, and the radio plays him “A nightingale sang in berkeley square”. He lets it, briefly, then shut it off and drives away. The credits show their faces side by side, Crowley hidden behind his glasses but dejected, resigned, Aziraphale trying to plaster on his best ‘jolly good’ face. It goes on for minutes. And it breaks you.

And so. TFL;DDR (too fucking long, definitely didn’t read): somehow an angel and a demon hiding a amnesiac archangel in a quiet bookshop turns into a 6000-year-long love story that will rip your fucking guts out, make you believe in soul mates, shatter your emotional processing skills, hurt you in a way you can’t exactly define, and leave you in a puddle of goo, dazed and wondering what the fuck just happened. Or maybe that’s just me. 

I haven’t connected to a show like this in a long time. And I’m so grateful for it. Like I said, a love story, in the most beautiful and worst ways possible.

[big-urchin-energy]

this has probably been said before but i just think crowley as a character is so INHERENTLY queer, like. even ignoring his presentation and the queer love story, his story is a deeply queer one, especially next to aziraphale who people read as gay and effeminate, but who ultimately tries very hard to conform to what heaven wants him to be. aziraphale doesn't really fit in, he's clearly weird, but he does want to and tries to, he tries (and fails!) to fit in with heaven countless times, and KEEPS trying, even when shown that it can't work, he'll never be happy and fulfilled there while he denies his nature.

whereas crowley is a (queer) person who CANNOT conform, he's the epitomy of "not gay as in happy but queer as in fuck you", and he's thrown out of heaven for it when he refuses to strip away pieces of himself to remain in heaven's favour. he doesn't want to conform when he's seen what conforming means, and even though he loses so much when he falls, as a demon in hell with everyone else who lost heaven's favour he has freedom he never did before. he knows everything in heaven is conditional and he can never truly live while under their roof, so to speak.

but he also doesn't want aziraphale to suffer the same fate, he understands why aziraphale wants to remain an angel and doesn't begrudge him that, he wants aziraphale to have comfort because he still can, even though crowley knows he can't have it for himself, because he loves him and he wants to see him happy, and he knows how hard it is not to fit in with heaven (his family), so he does everything he can to make it easier for aziraphale, and maybe part of him even wants to entertain the notion that things can be fixed for a while.

until he realises that aziraphale can't ever be truly happy there either, that heaven doesn't want an angel like him and they won't let him exist, they'll do everything they can to crush aziraphale back into the box he's supposed to fit in, and destroy him if they can't, and crowley sees that one way or another aziraphale will be forced to choose, and that his light won't survive what he has to do to keep heaven's conditional love.

aziraphale does see the obvious problems in heaven, of course he does, but he's never truly been forced to understand the way crowley has. aziraphale is someone who can fit in just enough that he thinks maybe if he tried a little harder and did everything right and just made people see, that he could change their minds and be accepted, and heaven sells him the lie that that's true.

the way he sees it, crowley refused to toe the line and was punished, but ultimately it was a choice he made himself, whereas for crowley it was never really a choice, in the end, he couldn't survive that way any longer, and crowley knows there's no fixing heaven (society), because heaven works exactly as it is meant to (to oppress and to keep people in line).

[damiemontclair]

So. Episode 6. Last... 15 minutes...

A: "I don't think you understand what I'm offering you."

C: "I understand. I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

This part, this part really stood out to me, its been on my mind since I got done crying over the end of the season.

After everything, Aziraphale still truly believes that Heaven is the good guys. That he can make a change by going back. That going back would be a good thing for Crowley.

But Aziraphale, in all that has happened there at the end, still has absolutely no idea what happened in heaven, what Crowley discovered. Why they were hunting down Gabriel. To him, this is a successful love story, Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love, faced some trials, and went off together, and he thought this would be his (their) happy ending too.

He didn't see Gabriels refusal to go along with Armageddon 2.0. He didn't see the sentencing. He doesn't know. 6000 years, many, many lies and little miracles to circumvent heavens will, and full on treason, and Aziraphale still truly, firmly believes that heaven, as an institution, can do good. Because he doesn't see the institutional problem.

And Crowley... Crowley knows. Crowley fell because of the institutional problem. And Crowley knows exactly what he is being offered. The good and the bad. He understands, in a way Aziraphale cannot, because Aziraphale has yet to truly become disillusioned with heaven (and god).

For the whole season, we've had the lead-up to this. To Crowleys "I think I understand a whole lot better than you do."

The whole business with Elspeth and Morag. That was Crowley understanding better than Aziraphale. Because Crowley knew and understood the motivation behind the action. Because Crowley has always questioned, and understands that to some degree, motivation matters. Yes, her act is "wicked", but she is doing it selflessly, for her friend.

After Job, we see how much Aziraphale struggles with the concept of "doing 'bad' things for the right reasons". That doesn't really... change at all between then and now.

And when the Metatron tells him what he is actually going to be doing up in heaven, you see it on his face, in the way he looks at the Metatron, and then at Crowley, the moment realisation sets in. The moment he understands the mistake he made. Because after 6000 years, he still believed in the goodness of heaven over the word and trust of his best friend. His partner in crime. The one person who's been with him through it all. The one he could've gone away with, if only he'd understood a little bit sooner.

And the worst part about this? Is the fact that after 6000 years of knowing each other, Aziraphale still doesn't understand that Crowley doesn't want to go back to heaven.

[julian-jacoss]

I forgive you (or another theory, of which there are already many)

So, we all remember Aziraphale's phrase "I forgive you". There was a lot of speculation, the whole fandom is still guessing why he forgives Crowley, and I don't know if someone has already expressed the opinion that I'm about to write, but I haven't seen it (because I don't watch the whole tumblr), so I can speak up. (Actually, this is my friend's opinion, and I, like most of the fandom, sat in tears and couldn't understand why he forgave Crowley.)

Let's look at this whole scene again. Maybe what I'm about to say will make sense. Or maybe it won't. In any case, you have nothing to lose by reading this.

The first thing I want to say is that no one betrayed anyone. They just didn't hear each other. And that's why all this shit happened.

Let's go back to the beginning. When Metatron offered Aziraphale to return to Heaven, and with such a great condition as the restoration of Angel status for Crowley. We can see how happy Aziraphale was to tell Crowley about it. After all, the Angel realizes that Heaven is shitty, at the moment, and he believes he can fix it all. Together with Crowley. And Aziraphael runs to tell Crowley the news that they can build a new Heaven together, and thinks that of course Crowley will be excited about the prospect of returning to Heaven with him and changing it together. To make everything the way it really should be. Aziraphale remembers how happy Crowley was when he created the universe, the stars, how he enjoyed and rejoiced in it, and he was an Angel then. And he also knows that Crowley doesn't like Heaven now, so he thinks, he believes, that he can make a Heaven in which Crowley will want to be an angel with him.

But this is not the message Crowley sees in his words. From his words he draws the conclusion that Aziraphale is not satisfied with the fact that he is a demon. That he wants to remake Crowley to become an Angel. Do you see the line? Aziraphale wants to remake Heaven with Crowley, but Crowley understands it to mean that Aziraphale wants to remake HIM in Heaven. And so he gets angry. He feels betrayed, because they were friends for so many years, they had a connection, and then he hears Azirafail say "go and become an Angel again".

So he gets upset, reacts very negatively to this proposal and refuses Aziraphale, and now at this moment the Angel feels betrayed, because he ran to Crowley to say that they could make the world a better place together, but he realized that Crowley did not want to make the world a better place with him. Aziraphale is also offended, and he feels sad.

So Crowley suggests that they run away together, just like Gabriel and Beelzebub did. He literally almost says, "Man, we can run away and live together. Just you and me. Without Heaven and Hell. We can be free together, without any restrictions." This is his idea of their happy life together.

And again, I emphasize, Aziraphale feels betrayed, and Crowley feels betrayed.

They are not selfish, they want happiness for each other. They think about what is best not only for themselves but also for the other. However, they did not hear and understand each other. They heard and understood something completely different, something that their partner did not mean at all. Both saw the other's proposal as a betrayal. And this ruined everything.

It happend. They are both offended and unable to accept any new arguments. When people are offended (we will exclude the fact that they are not people), they are not able to digest new arguments that the other person can tell them to explain their opinion. That is, no matter how many arguments they bring up after the point of conflict, they will still not see any positive aspects in them. They will only feed their resentment, aggression in a sense, and so on.

A kiss takes place. We can see how much desperation and pleading there is in this kiss. Perhaps this is the last attempt to leave Aziraphale on Earth, perhaps it's just desperation, perhaps it's some other option, which are enough on the tumblr and I don't see the point of writing them.

And this phrase "I forgive you". It doesn't refer to the kiss at all (he doesn't forgive him for the kiss), because a few seconds ago he was offended (they both were). He forgave him for WHAT he was offended by.

He realizes that Crowley loves him and that's it.

That's all I wanted to say. They just needed to cool down and talk again. But that didn't happen.

(And if it had, it's unlikely we could have had any hope for a third season. Their story would have ended. The end of the Good Omens.)

And now we have this interesting thing that makes @neil-gaiman do a victory dance.

(Якщо ти зараз читаєш цей текст без перекладача, значить розумієш українську😏 а це значить, що я можу запросити тебе на наш канал по добрим передвісникам у телеграмі😚 Місце, де ти можеш покричати на другий сезон, і поусміхатися з деяких едітів та артів, та, звичайно, поплакати. Лиш поглянь на це🙃👉 https://t.me/good_omens_ua )

[captaincolorblob]

The thing is, even if the coffee theory turns out to be false it would still make sense.

If we look at how Aziraphale has been characterized in the past and the events leading up to his conversation with the Metatron, from his point of view it makes sense. It definitely wasn’t the best choice he could’ve made, no doubt but you can understand why he did it.

After the whole thing with Ineffable Bureaucracy, Aziraphale was threatened by Micheal to be erased from the Book Of Life (aka erasing him from history as if he had never existed which is fucking TERRIFYING), then he’s given the chance to be in the position to have that power. Remember, the only reason why Micheal wasn’t allowed to do that was because they’re not the next Supreme Archangel if Gabriels gone, but now Aziraphale was chosen to be.  If he’s one of the few, if not the only person, who can erase people out of history then that means the chance that that happens to him or Crowley is significantly lessened. Aziraphale can’t actually admit to himself that Heaven isn’t good, he can’t stand the thought of being part of the ‘’Bad side’’. Subconsciously he’s aware that Heaven has done things he doesn’t agree with (example: clue minisode, him changing his mind about body-snatching after seeing that tumor jar from the seven year old) but he doesn’t entertain those thoughts for long.

He thinks that if he’s the one in charge that he can fix things, that if he could just talk with the right people then everything would sort itself out. Like he did in season 1 when he first contacted the Metatron. Another thing is that he’s not doing this because he likes being in charge. This is Aziraphale we’re talking about here. He’s doing this for Crowley. Just like Crowley refused being Duke of Hell for Aziraphale, Aziraphale accepted being Supreme Archangel for Crowley. As Supreme Archangel he could make Crowley an angel again, could make him as happy as he was Before the Beginning, creating stars and nebulas and this time, they’re on the same side, they can be together. But it wouldn’t be their side. Because Aziraphale doesn’t understand why Crowley wouldn’t want to be an angel again.  He thinks Crowleys kindness and goodness come from him being an ex-angel, not because Crowleys more human then demon at this point. He doesn’t understand that he himself and their precious, peaceful and fragile existence that they carved out for themselves here on earth would be enough for Crowley. Maybe he thinks he can have the things he’s sacrificed back if he does this, I dont know. I’m rambling at this point. Is this still coherent? Was it ever? Anyway 

That doesn’t mean the coffee theory makes no sense, it would explain some weird details (like the sudden change from a dash of almond to a hefty jigger of it, Azirapahle including Crowley when saying “You’re the bad guys!”, having Micheal “King of Micro-expressions” Sheen act like Aziraphale’s fighting down that uncanny ass smile during that whole take in the credits, the barely hearable miracle sound before he takes the coffee, etc). It would explain those but it could also just be the good ol’ fashioned confirmation bias 

PS: A character doing something you don’t like doesn’t mean its ooc, this is Neil Gaimans writing we’re talking about here

[raina-at]

Disclaimer: I'm on record for not being the biggest fan of Good Omens S2 because in my opinin it has massive pacing issues and suffers from tell don't show in its last two episodes. I've written about this before, btw, so warning, I'm repeating a point I already made in a longer S2 review.

I've been reading a lot of wonderful discourse about the big conversation scenen at the end of Ep 6, with a lot of good analysis about what's going on with each of them emotionally, but the thing that bothers me the most somehow never really comes up. And I just don't understand it. From a writing point, I don't get it. It makes no sense.

So here's what I don't get: Crowley knows about the second coming and he knows what Heaven did to Gabriel when he refused, and he doesn't tell Aziraphale any of this. Aziraphale doesn't know about the second coming because Crowley didn't tell him. He also doesn't know Heaven, and specifically the Metatron, mind-wiped Gabriel as punishment for not going along with the second coming.

And my question is: WHY didn't Crowley tell him????

He had plenty of time, it's extremely relevant information Aziraphale should have to make an informed decision. Furthermore, what really blows my mind is that Aziraphale is in active danger, and Crowley doesn't warn him. Yes, he says Heaven is toxic, but he doesn't give Aziraphale the extremely concrete information that Gabriel was punished by the Metatron for refusing to take part in the apocalypse II, which Crowley knows will be Aziraphale's job when he becomes The New Boss.

So not only does he withhold information from Aziraphale that is vital to his safety, he also doesn't give Aziraphale information that might have changed his mind, which is something Crowley absolutely wants him to do.

Again, why? Seriously, why?

If the writers didn't want Aziraphale to have this information, they should have made sure that the audience knows it, but Crowley doesn't. Because Crowley knowing and not telling Aziraphale is either a big, big plot hole, or... I don't know what. I can't think of one good, in-character reason for Crowley to withhold this information. Did he forget? Did he want Aziraphale to not choose heaven on principle, and not because he's given him a concrete reason not to? (if it's the second one, then whoa, dude, that is not your decision to make)

I just can't imagine a scenario where Crowley wouldn't at least try to warn Aziraphale about what precisely he's walking into. He says I know better than you, but he doesn't follow that frankly a bit condescending statement with concrete information about what, precisely, he knows that Aziraphale doesn't. It just seems so out of character for Crowley to let Aziraphale walk into danger blind.

I personally think it's a plot hole. Which is fine, all plots have holes, it's how they breathe ;-)

I'm just really curious as to why I haven't seen this addressed by anyone yet. Or maybe there's massive discourse about this point and it's just not on one of the maybe six GO blogs I follow.

Anyway. I have no good way of ending this, so. Um. Happy Monday, everybody, I suppose.

[thesherrinfordfacility]

going off your god not being directly involved point, what about when she was directly yelling at Job in that minisode? /genq

hi anon! ✨ a very fair question and fair point along with it! i don't think her talking to job is truly getting involved, personally; its what she is and isn't saying thats important, imo.

if anything, she's literally separating herself from job (and by extension, humanity). she's declaring the ways in which she and job cannot be seen as equals (because, frankly, as an unfathomable and ageless entity... it's just not possible in the literal sense), and as such when he's beseeching to her for answers, her response can arguably be seen as 'sometimes there are no answers' - or at the very least 'there will be times where you will never receive answers to what you seek'... and that it's what you choose to do in response that matters.

job has gone to her to ask why this suffering is being heaped upon him, and what he has done to deserve it, when his faith has never faltered. had she answered truthfully - as far as we understand the truth to be (ie. the bet) - would that have changed job's actions and outlook? yes, quite possibly; let's say god tells him about the bet, and that to keep his faith in defiance of this adversity, would mean he is rewarded. if she had done that, he would have likely known that all he has to do is remain faithful, in order to have the happy ending that he wants (and, by all accounts, deserves).

instead, by refusing to answer and instead reinforcing the position that he is not in a position to demand answers of her (however dickish this comes across... which is to say; very), it instead puts upon him a choice, with outcomes that he is not privy to, but the audience is. we know that he potentially stands to lose everything, or have everything rewarded back to him (although, again, the audience knows that this would not necessarily be the great outcome as heaven plans and anticipates it to be). job though? his choice is blind, as with most choices we make; does he denounce his faith, or does he trust in god and keep his faith?

so yeah in summary? whilst she's physically (?) appearing and getting involved in the literal sense - fair point - to my mind she's reinstating the reasons why she will not get involved (either to stop his suffering, nor to explain it) in any meaningful sense, and leaving how job acts in response to his suffering as being of his own free will.*

(where it then gets screwy is how heaven interfere, and arguably too do crowley and aziraphale... not to say what crowley and aziraphale do at the end of the minisode wasn't the right thing to do, but i think - if anything - what the show might have been highlighting is that this dilemma of job's suffering was possibly more a test of their free will (more specifically aziraphale's), moreso than job's... but that's probably a separate conversation!)

*why she chooses this moment to show up at all in the first place, however, is still something that ive been trying to puzzle out... i do wonder i wonder if, as i said, it's less to do with job, and more to do with the two beings watching their interaction... hmm idk how i feel about that, something about it doesn't quite sit right for me.

[two-silly-geese]

Below are some thoughts I had throughout today about the ending of good omens season 2

one reason I don’t like the good omens s2 ending is that the rest of the season was literally a dream come true for me. I’m a big ineffable bureaucracy shipper and have been for a long time so this season was so so so wonderful for me. I’ve read almost every “they met before the fall” fanfic I could find. But now whenever I think about this season it makes me sad, and I don’t like it. How do you give me something so perfect it makes me squeal at loud and then shatter my heart like this. How dare you

Also I hate cliffhanger

But more seriously I comparing it to ofmd has actually helped me understand why I have stronger feelings about this ending that ofmd’s. In ofmd we fully see the conversation that lead to stede leaving and we have the afterwards of him realising he actually wanted to be with ed. We don’t have a Reunion but we have the promise that stede IS coming back.

Here we don’t really see the full conversation between Aziraphale and Mettatron (is that how it’s written ? Idk) and we don’t have the afterwards. I think if ofmd ended with ep 9 and without the entire context of what Badminton said I would be so mad at stede and would have absolutely hated it even more to have to wait for s2. But here I’m fully able to understand why stede leaves and why it’s important that he does so that he have closure with this part of his life.

But during most of good omens season 2 and the end of season nothing really gives me the impression that Aziraphale had not accepted and liked just living in his bookshop and having Crowley around.

I understand that he thinks he could change if he was in charge but he won’t be fully in charge. He will replace Gabriel but in season 1 Aziraphale says he will talk to a higher authority (God) and when talking to Mettatron he doesn’t change his mind. The resolution of season 2 is that when Gabriel (the former angel in charge) didn’t agree with seconde Armageddon they juste went : will take your memories away and make you a low grade angel. So it’s hard to understand what makes Aziraphale believes that HE will be able to do it. To me at first it seemed like he accepted and was happy because it meant being safe with Crowley for eternity but when Crowley refused I was convinced he would go with him. Like the whole time I was like it’s going to end with him choosing Crowley but no.

And that’s not to say the ending is bad it’s just a very very sad ending I’m not happy with because I want a happy ending for them. And if your going to give me a sad ending I with cliffhanger I prefer on like ofmd because I can fully understand why things happened and be able to envision some happiness after it.

And that’s why I like theories that something we don’t know is going on that makes Aziraphale accept. Because to me if we have all the components that makes Aziraphale choose heaven (he thinks he can change things) then it doesn’t really makes sense to me.

But everything is still fresh in my mind and I’m righting thoughts as they come so I’ll probably rewatch both seasons (plus currently listens to the audiobook) and come back at some point with more elaborate takes on this ending.

But I trust Neil to creat something good for what’s to come.

But I still fucking hate cliffhanger don’t do that ever again or somebody will die (probably my will to live)

[new-endings]

Ayy I want to hear about Beta!Aziraphale :D

so glad you do!~

fic idea #1112

It started with the premise of beta Aziraphale thinking that alpha Crowley’s been trying to court some poor omega sod for the past few centuries. Crowley had been displaying rather alpha-like characteristics around him since Rome, what with the innocuous gifts, the food, the protection he's provided—

All served with the same dour expression that leads Aziraphale to believe that the alpha really doesn’t intend on it, doesn’t really seem to realize what he’s doing, nor does he really want to do it. Aziraphale comes to the conclusion that something or someone must be some causing Crowley’s instincts to pop off like this.

Aziraphale comes to the conclusion that his …err, acquaintance, must have met a "nice" omega demon and that the beta is just dealing with a twitter pated alpha in the aftermath.

((He knows it's not him, knows better than to even think for a second all those little gestures meant something more. Why—to think anything more would be utterly absurd—impossible! He’s—an angel, a beta—))

But it’s not until centuries later that Aziraphale knows there's another involved after Crowley asks him for the holy water

 Crowley found someone he was willing to risk not only Aziraphale's life for, but his own.

 And given the latter, Aziraphale naturally said no.

 I don't need you.

 Yes...that's right.

 Betas are intermediaries— useful, but not essential.

—————————————————

 On the other hand, Crowley's been tryna court the oblivious git for millennia now but naturally, none of the regular "alpha" tactics work. Puffed up pride and the sharpness of his scent indicating an interested alpha only makes Aziraphale uncomfortable. The instinct to force the angel to submit, to bare his neck and bend to his whim, only inflicted fear.

 And when frightened, Aziraphale did not whimper and did not bow. He would instead lash out with his own silver tongue, his own venomous words, and turn away.

 He was not an omega— he was not an omega an alpha was meant to tame.

 He was a beta without a hint of instinct to let him know that Crowley only wanted him safe— only wanted him loved.

 But Crowley learned. He adapted. Gifting the beta soft silks and cloths soaked in his scent was often met with the cloth thoroughly cleaned within the hour "to get rid of the stench of evil; angels can smell it, you know," creating a nest with him was out of the question given their respective…offices, but foods—yes, foods were among his beta’s favorite—

 an offering of oysters...

 was that where it started?

 —and Crowley was more than happy to show the beta he can provide, he can protect—

 ((Crowley has even gone as far as developed a sense for when his beta would be in a spot of trouble. There were no distressed omegan hormones, no telltale shifts in Aziraphale’s mild scent when something was amiss, of course not.

No, it was other things—things that were so heartbreakingly Aziraphale in every way—from his dithering, from the curl of his lip, just barely a sneer when Crowley was misbehaving, or the change of pitch in his voice when he was scheduled to meet with his superiors.

And last but not least…

…a tugging, at the back of Crowley’s head. Insistent when Aziraphale was in the area. And it downright dragged him to the center of the mess when Aziraphale landed himself out of the pan and into the fire (so to speak)

Aziraphale always forced Crowley to learn things the hard way—

 and that was one of the things he loved about his bastard beta.))

 —but he wanted—needed—that reciprocated too.

 Fraternising.

 The word sliced his chest wide open.

 Maybe he couldn't get through to him. Perhaps it was all in vain. A transaction for the beta, just as he'd proposed it all those centuries ago.

 I don't need you.

 It was true. Crowley got on just fine without him.

 ((It didn't curb the want. The longing.))

 The feeling is mutual!

 obviously...

-----------------------

And then— 1941. The scene at the church happens.

 Where Crowley's instinct that Aziraphale was in trouble still functioned quite impeccably despite a century apart and an argument that fractured what they had.

 And Crowley limps away, feet burnt on consecrated ground, knowing—without a doubt—that he would walk across the sun if it meant Aziraphale is safe.

And Aziraphale stands there in the rubble of faith, understanding and facing, with certain and absolute sincerity that he was in love with this demon,

 Knowing—without a doubt—that Crowley loves another.

---------------------

 20 years later, Aziraphale learns of a heist and a cold fear grips him. he can't lose Crowley—absolutely refuses to.

 He can't look Crowley in the eye as he gifts him—insurance the demon called it. Protection. For himself...and for his omega.

 Crowley must have concocted this arrangement to protect himself and his mate should an angelic threat arrive. Maybe he'd meant to use Aziraphale as insurance too—

 “I'll give you a lift, anywhere you wanna go.”

 Aziraphale looks at him then. Look at him and saw the patience, the hoping, the quiet, tenderness behind those dark glasses and it took everything Aziraphale had to rip himself away and exit the car.

 He...he mustn't get ahead of himself. But it was hard to tamp down the tiny seeds of hope, smashing them so they would never see light.

 But really…what did it change?

 Everything, maybe

 Because Crowley may have his mate, but he made it clear that Aziraphale was part of his pack too.

 And that was enough

 It had to be.

 You go too fast for me.

 ------------------------

In the years following, Aziraphale finds coping with his…unideal… feelings not-so difficult. He may be the beta of Crowley's pack, but for much longer than that, he'd been a thorn on his side, so it was easy to slip back into that role.

 They spend a few years raising the wrong boy ((and Aziraphale bites his tongue to avoid asking why he didn't ask his omega to have a hand in raising Warlock)), but despite the unusual convention (which is honestly par for the course for the two), the child comes out normal.

 Unfortunately, they are unsure if the same could have been said for the real antichrist.

 And Aziraphale is not sure what gripped him to withhold the boy's whereabouts— to go against the alpha—his alpha—and lie to him.

There is no our side.

Not anymore.

Maybe it was the insistence that heaven must be good, that a part of him believed with all his heart that they wanted the right thing too.

 and maybe...just maybe...he knew that if things went...pear-shaped...

 There was still a chance for Crowley and his mate to escape all this. That the blame could easily fall on Aziraphale, sparing the two.

 And when I'm off in the stars—I won't even think about you!

 Good, Aziraphale muses as Crowley drives away, even as every meter that separates them physically burns him.

 Betas are not essential.

 Crowley doesn't need him.

 He and his mate just need to be safe.

--------------------------

At the heart of it, Crowley is a liar. A pretty shite one, really. Says things he doesn't mean—doesn't want to say. But what else can he do when his beta refuses him at every turn?

 Lash out-like a child, apparently.

 All his plans have gone up in smoke, time was running out, and Crowley knows there's no turning back after Ligur ends up a pile of smoldering goo at the floor of his apartment. He feels a tug at his heart, knowing that it was Aziraphale who protected him that time, betraying everything he knew to give Crowley thermos. He can't give up—he'll drag Aziraphale away kicking and screaming if he could.

 Crowley walks out of his apartment, sidestepping the mess on his floor, when he feels— knows something is wrong. Every sense in-tune to Aziraphale is blaring—

 and just as suddenly, it all goes quiet.

 Crowley breaks both traffic laws and the laws of physics to find a burning book shop and no trace of his beta.

 Remorse battles with rage, but what triumphs above all is a resounding howl that anyone would be able to recognize—

 Mourning.

 Someone’s killed my best friend

 -----------------------

 Aziraphale feels his heart stop—well, if he still had one—at the sound of Crowley, there at the bar. He bites down the urge to yell at him, to tell him to grab his mate and run while they still have a chance—

 I lost my best friend.

 Aziraphale pauses, words caught in his throat. He'd been...selfish. So selfish. Of course, Crowley wants his pack intact. And Aziraphale was part of that.

 Crowley is truly a phenomenal alpha while Aziraphale is the most terrible beta in existence.

----------------------

"Wherever you are, I'll come to you—where are you?"

 Crowley almost lost his beta once. He won't let it happen a second time.

 "Come up with something or—

I'll never talk to you again"

 Because Aziraphale (finally, finally) stood with him.

 "We're on our own side."

 ---------------------

It's the final piece of the prophecy that Crowley was able to salvage that inspires the idea from Aziraphale.

 He knows his superiors. It will be hellfire— befitting a traitor who refuses to fall from god's grace. Crowley tells him that his will be holy water— that there will be a trial that Crowley is rigged to lose.

 Aziraphale knows there will be no such thing for him

 They have everything to lose and everything to gain with this final arrangement and on the dawn of that day where they make the switch,

 Aziraphale wonders if he will finally get a glimpse of Crowley's mate at the trial.

------------------------

 Crowley has enough sense to curb his anger, his fury, his outrage at the way they treat his beta. He doesn't roar at the injustice, in vengeance, as an alpha should. Instead, he smiles and breathe a flicker of hellfire at them, letting them know that Aziraphale has always been better than all of heaven could ever hope to be.

 And Crowley vows to stop being a coward and make Aziraphale know it too.

 -----------------------

 Aziraphale scans the crowds for any sign of disbelief, of horror and indignance on the faces of the demons around him as he is charged guilty.

 But no one steps forward and Aziraphale feels his heart fracture with pain and betrayal for Crowley.

 He deserves someone who would be here, who would do anything to see him again, Aziraphale thinks as he lounges in the bath of holy water, exuding the confidence and control an alpha like Crowley would project. He deserves better, he thinks, a bitterness rising like bile at the back of his throat.

 I could be—

 He stops that train of thought immediately.

 -------------------------

 Their plan succeeds and Crowley tempts him to a spot of lunch. Their dawn of a new day begins at noon and upon seeing Crowley (in his corporation) safe and whole, Aziraphale rides that high all the way to the Ritz.

 To the world.

 To the world.

 ----------------------------

 Aziraphale regales him the scene all over again, careful to leave out the part where none, not even his own mate, rose to defend him during the trial. Instead, he talks about rubber ducks as he refuses to look in Crowley's direction.

 He knows the way he's looking at him. He knows the soft, tender look the alpha gives him, and truly, what an injustice that someone like Crowley is mated with someone who holds such little faith in him

 But as a beta, it isn't Aziraphale's place to.

 He may be part of the pack, but he knows his place. Maybe...maybe Crowley's mate was told to stay hidden, just in case things went awry—

 You wouldn't have listened, Aziraphale's traitorous mind whispers. You would have been there for him.

 Precisely why I'm a beta, Aziraphale chuckles to himself. Could you imagine me, doing a thing Crowley's told?

 Preposterous.

 Just like the spikes of jealousy digging into the meat of his heart.

 Aziraphale knows he’s a terrible beta—but even more than that, he’s Crowley’s best friend, and he knows Crowley deserved the truth.

 "They weren't there, you know."

 "Who?"

 "Your mate." Aziraphale scoffs at the confused (panicked) reaction. "Oh, come off it— I know you've been courting someone for centuries."

 "Yes...that's true..." Crowley cautiously, carefully admits and although Aziraphale knew this for a fact— knew this like he knew the back of his own hand, the admission tore a bleeding wound right open.

 "Yes well...they weren't there. At the trial." Aziraphale bites his lip. "Where are...are they safe?"

 Crowley is looking at him strangely.  Aziraphale only wants straight answers. He's gone centuries without asking, always respecting this boundary between them—

 —but they were pack, weren't they?

 But then Crowley is smiling, a gleam of amusement sparking in his eyes. "The one I've been courting? I assure you, they were there at my trial."

 Suspicion—even indignance— arose. Aziraphale was quick to smother it. "Oh! I...I didn't see them."

 "Nope, they were there," Crowley said with such confidence that Aziraphale felt his very heart wither.

 Stop it, he told himself. You knew this was true. You knew he has a mate. And you knew he'd love them and be loyal to them no matter what.  Because Crowley is a phenomenal alpha...and Aziraphale is a wretched beta. "I...all right," he said faintly, hoping to distract himself with some cake, if only to counter the bitter bile rising at the back of his throat.

 "Mhm...they're the sole reason I'm still here," he said pointedly and at that, Aziraphale couldn't help but choke. "I owe everything to them."

 Of course.

 Crowley's driven to protect his mate against anything. He saved the world for his mate.

 And who was he to get in the way of that?

But if Aziraphale was ready to sink into the ground and possibly disappear for the next century or two to mend his own heartbreak, it was this statement that shoved those ideas straight into a pit of hellfire:

 "Yep," Crowley says with a knowing, teasing grin. "Brilliant idea they had too— switching bodies. Who else would have thought of that?"

 "YOU IDIOT, THAT WAS MY IDEA!"

At the back of his mind, Aziraphale knows he’s making a scene. And he’s possibly going to irreversibly damage his and Crowley’s relationship for this—

 But damn it all he'd gone centuries making sure this absolute idiot of a demon didn't get himself killed and not ONCE had he seen hide nor hair of his so-called mate.

 "AND FOR THE RECORD," he seethed. "YOU HAVE ABSOLUTE SHITE TASTES IN MATES!"

 "I disagree," Crowley replied and Aziraphale wanted to rip his hair out. "They may be a bit of a bastard at times, but they've always been there for me."

 "WHEN!?"

 This was disconcerting in many different ways:

 Mostly through the implication that Crowley got into even more trouble than Aziraphale was able to help him with.

 "Salem witch trials— was about to be hanged. Saved me from discorporation."

 Aziraphale frowns. He's done similar for Crowley— it figures that the demon would have gotten himself into that mess at least a second time.

 "14th century— The Plague. But they were always so eager to do the best they could, given the situation. Made the shite times less…shite."

 Aziraphale wouldn't have known, personally. It truly was a shite time indeed and Aziraphale had gotten discorporated as he spent his days healing the sick. He briefly recalled Crowley being there, shortly before his corporation ah...expired.

 “Rome was better, but not by enough of a margin. We had something to eat and suddenly my whole day was better."

 Hmm...maybe it happened sometime after their lunch? Perhaps dinner, no wait, he had dinner with Crowley too. But Crowley was in exceptionally good spirits the days following. It must have been sometime after then.

 "The Ark," he said softly. "They smuggled some children with me aboard."

 Aziraphale pauses. Wait...he’s sure only he and Crowley were aboard who knew about the stowaway children, then. After all, Aziraphale helped sneak them in.

 "19th century— had a nasty fight." Crowley is staring intently at him now. "He made it up to me."

Aziraphale feels his breath catch.

"Took about a century, but we got there. The holy water came in real handy, by the way."

 Wait—

 "Golgotha...lost a good friend at the time. They were there with me the days afterwards."

 Hang on—

 "In the 1940s, when a bomb dropped on the church—"

 That doesn't—

 "11 years ago— when I roped them into this scheme to stop Armageddon—"

 But—

 "The airfield," Crowley says. He’s no longer across the table. Aziraphale hadn’t realized he’d moved so close. "When I'd given up everything. They threatened me to do something— and I did. It ended saving all of us."

 No, that— that couldn't be right—

 "Eden," he breathes out. "He sheltered me during the first rains."

 Aziraphale isn’t quite sure when he stood up, but he sits down all the same. The pieces are in front of him but not slotting in the way he expects them to—

 —in the way he thought it was possible to.

 And then Crowley is holding his hand, at first laying his atop his own— and then lacing their fingers together.

 Fitting perfectly.

 He tears his gaze away only to meet those lovely, lovely amber eyes. Time around them stops like a bated breath. "You've always been there. Every time I needed you."

 To which Aziraphale, for all his knowledge and expertise of the written word, can only eke out an, "Oh," in response.

 And at that, Crowley can only laugh, relieved and so heartbreakingly happy as he closes the distance between them. "Yes, oh, my stupid mate."