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#but they have their own plethora of issues which seeped into their parenting and they don’t even know what they did wrong
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BREAKDOWN IN THE COOKIE AISLE AT WORK
#whiskey yelling into the void#do you ever just think about things you’ve done or said to people you care about and regret everything you’ve ever done#in one case i should have known better but didn’t#in other cases he shit i’ve said made me feel like an asshole after and pushed this wedge between me and my sibling#and it hurts because i’m never going to be able to rebuild the relationship i once had with her#and ofc thinking about her makes me think abt my childhood as a whole and my parents did their best they never wanted to cause us any harm#but they have their own plethora of issues which seeped into their parenting and they don’t even know what they did wrong#and if i explained it to them now it wouldn’t matter because it’s all said and done and we’re all grown up now#so it’s not like they can repeat their mistakes#but i’m not mad at them anymore and i’ve forgiven them even though they don’t know what they did anyway#and for most of it there’s no one to blame. it’s no one’s fault#for some of it i can only blame myself and maybe my big sister but she’s doing her best too and idk how to. feel. about that#i’ve said and done so much shit to her and other people but she said and did shit first so#did i say these things to her in defence or did i do it just to hurt her??? i don’t want to hurt her#but at the same time i want her to understand how she’s hurt and traumatized me but she just. can’t. she doesn’t get it she doesn’t try#and i would take to my little sister abt this but she does so much for this family already and she’s busy all the time#and my little brother a) lives in jersey and b) i feel like i’ve hurt him too even tho he’s long since forgiven me#thinking about this makes me wanna bash my head against a wall#i’ve been sitting in the cookie aisle of my store for like 20 minutes i’m so glad it’s not busy in here#fuck. anyway
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sakuurae · 7 years
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wooo, for the drabble thingy: yuta + 71, please!
Prompt: “You don’t get to pick and choose. You’re stuck with me.”
yuta & reader insert; royalty!AU; 1.4k wordsdrabble game
i hope this is okay ;; i just woke up and was torn on what au to write so i chose one randomly and i hope it went well ;;;;
During spring days the blossom of a plethora of flowers would typically be at their peak. It was the only reason why the fresh season was an easy favorite: the new sights, excursions of nature commenced. It was also the time of year where the kingdom’s Spring festival would occur, and its purpose was to celebrate the welcome of new beginnings and upbringings. Every year you looked forward to the festival, for it was one of your favorite events held within your kingdom, and this upcoming year was to be no different.
Well, you planned for it to not be divergent than the rest. Your family had other plans they never informed you about until then.
It was a given that you were the heir to the family kingdom; you qualified to take the throne; you were of maturity. Right, during the Spring festival kingdoms would announce who the princess has chosen to marry and hold upon the weight of the kingdom with. The thought of that future requirement never rang in your mind, almost as if the day would never come—like it was nonexistent to you. But, standing amidst the thick air within the grand ballroom of your castle, you heard the words you thought you would never hear.
With an semi-familiar face standing before you, your face contorted in disgust and annoyance. It was the prince from the eastern kingdom—the section of the continent that your own kingdom had a horrible impression of. What was him and his family doing in your own sector, of all places? Then, it dawned upon you.
Word went around that prince like a wildfire, and they typically was not pretty. War stories and parades of this success would be the talk of each village—oh, and his disastrously handsome face.
Your father snapped you back to reality as you were too busy welling in your revulsion towards the prevailing prince; he called your name in a manner that made it seem like he was attempting to get your attention for aeons. With the obnoxious prince right in front of you, he probably was.
“(y/n),” your father called once more. “It is mid-summer and the springtime festival will occur the following year.”
“Oh gods…” you trailed off. Your eyes roamed the gargantuan ballroom; you searched for a distraction away from the living news before you.
“It is about time we discussed your marriage,” your father said with a breath. He puffed his chest out, high and mighty to make his authority prominent. You bit onto your tongue to hold a sour comment away, its bitterness dissipating into nothingness. You narrowed your gaze onto the looming crystal chandelier that hanged from the center, anticipating the announcement you were not able to fight back.
“This”—he held out an arm, guiding you to the noxious prince—“is Nakamoto Yuta. He will be your suitor, unannounced to the public until the spring festival.”
You emptily stared at your father, the annoyance sketched on your face and limpid to everyone’s eyes. “You’re kidding,” you let out. “I knew it would be in regards to the topic of… marriage, but I did not expect it to be with”—you caught a look at the prince, locking eyes with his own—“him of all people!”
Your parents exchanged a clueless glance, unable to see the issue. Surely they had heard of the stories of Prince Yuta as well, viewing it under a positive light. They would hear his war stories, relish in the victory he had brought the continent during critical periods—they had a positive image of the poisonous prince, and an optimistic outlook of your incoming future with him. Little did they know about the bitter sentiments you truly felt towards the man.
Yuta’s family appeared taken aback and your mother assured them by claiming it was your sour sense of humor. Yuta titled his head. “What’s so horrendous about me?” he asked innocently. “We have the strongest war forces, the—“
You cut him off before he was able to boast, “What about Prince Jaehyun? I actually get along with him and we see him often. He knows a lot about medical herbs and studies the history of our monarchs, he’s well educated.”
“Are you saying I’m not?” Yuta questioned.
“Or Prince Doyoung?” you continued your ramble. “He cares about his kingdom and those within the village. Can’t we choose one of my friends? Any one of them, but not…”
Yuta sighed. “How could a pretty face have such a sour personality?”
“Look who’s talking,” you bit back. “You and your out-of-proportion victory stories—”
“At least I have victory stories,” he interjected. “The only things I hear about you in my kingdom is how pretty, calm, and kind you are to everybody—which is boring, and apparently false. You have quite the mouth along with beauty. Do those come hand in hand?”
You crossed your eyebrows together; your insides heated up with a flame of fury, no longer wanting to put up with his petulant prods at you any longer. “At least what goes around about me is positive. You know, for a prince you aren’t very prince-like. Where’s the manners?”
“(y/n),” you father said in a calming voice. “You need to understand.”
You rolled your eyes and allowed your father to continue.
“The Nakamoto family does indeed have the strongest war forces, but that does not matter. It is the location of their kingdom and how it goes well with ours. If the two kingdoms were to combine then a greater influence would form, and each kingdom would come together to form multiple trade routes, which would aid both of us.”
You clenched your teeth at the information. Gods, he was not wrong. If the entire plan went on without fail then there would be no power to stop the combined kingdom forces. But... Prince Yuta—of all individuals? You would rather marry a peasant, if anything.
“Can’t we try that with Prince—“
“Listen up, princess,” Yuta chimed in and took a step closer to you. “You don’t get to pick and choose, alright? You’re stuck with me the way I’m stuck with you.”
His attitude disgusted you the way the sight of his face had. Your mind was not able to wrap around the fact that you had the time period from now to the spring festival to stick yourself by Yuta’s side. "You're telling me I have to deal with this brash man until... when?"
"Probably all of eternity," he informed nonchalantly, teasing you whilst testing the waters. He cocked his head as he broke the news out, an eyebrow raising in an authoritative manner. You groaned; there was a empty pit in your stomach that dragged your entire being down like a blackhole, and immense amount of dread was seeping out from its expanse. The prince read into your reaction, laughing and finding amusement.
You eyed him, giving him another stern look as you perused his features. With him laughing like a young child, he would mistakingly be read as an approachable, kind prince—one that you would be willing to come to know. Frankly, if he was feigning such a jocular persona half the time he would not appear all too bad—stray him away from you as well.
Yuta stop his fit of bubbly laughter and wiped the corner of his eyes with his index finger. He exchanged a mutual look with your father before locking eyes with your own again, assuring you of your worries in the worst possible way. "Don't worry, princess. You have your whole life to get to know me better."
"Might as well banish me from this kingdom..." you muttered.
Yuta laughed again and you were not able to help but adore the melodious tune emitting from a sour being—a sore contrast. You sighed and gave everything further thought.
On Spring days typically flowers would bloom, new sights and beginnings would commence—it was why the season was a simple favorite.Until then, it was nothing more but a dreadful time of the year that was followed with horrible forebodings.
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eelidapfeiffer-blog · 7 years
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