#but they stopped giving each doll six books and are now ripping the children off with only two books per doll

[dandelionsandderivatives]

While I was languishing on the bed of illness last week, I spent a lot of time reading up on American Girl Doll lore. Dear followers, you may see a lot of American Girl content in the following weeks. I say this not to apologize, but to entice.

[mountphoenixrp]

We have a new citizen in Mount Phoenix:

                   Charlotte Choi, who is known by no other name,                                 a 23 year old daughter of Hecate.                                      She is the singer for HEXED                                     and a clerk at The Lion’s Den.

FC NAME/GROUP: Choi Yuna (Yuju) CHARACTER NAME: Charlotte Choi AGE/DATE OF BIRTH: 24, October 31, 1996 PLACE OF BIRTH: Seoul, South Korea OCCUPATION: Singer for Hexed, part-time clerk at The Lion’s Den HEIGHT: 5’7” WEIGHT: 105 lbs DEFINING FEATURES: Spiral burn on her left palm.

PERSONALITY: Charlotte has a very nurturing and maternal personality, brimming with compassion. Growing up taking care of five younger siblings made her very responsible and patient, so she is usually able to keep a clear head even in a crisis. This has also made her very skilled at conflict resolution and negotiation, at least when it comes to children, anyway.

She is the opposite of an impulsive person. She thinks before she acts, she thinks before she speaks. It usually takes her a while to make decisions because she needs to weight all her options. And while she is not necessarily an introvert, she does tend to be rather quiet because she is often distracted with her thoughts- be they about the situation at hand or something more fanciful like an idea for a song.

HISTORY: [TW: abuse, neglect]

Charlotte was born the youngest of a set of fraternal triplets in Seoul, South Korea. Fearing the power of three demigod children of Hecate, their father only kept the oldest daughter, sending Charlotte and Cassandra away shortly after their birth. Charlotte was sent to New York to be adopted under the table by a wealthy couple there. After a few odd incidents, however, the couple decided that they did not want her anymore and discretely passed her on to another family.

From there, the baby was renamed Nina, and she eventually became the eldest in a house of six children adopted by Mary and Samuel Collins. She knew from the moment that she could understand it that she was adopted, that she had been given up at birth- and her adopted parents did not let her forget it, always stressing that she owed them a debt for taking her in when her birth parents hadn’t wanted her.

By the time she entered grade school, the Collins had taken in five other toddlers and infants, which meant that a lot of Nina’s free time was spent doing what she could to help care for her little siblings; waddling around to get the older ones snacks, helping them get dressed, teaching them how to brush their teeth and hair. She did not mind it, though. It was a lot like playing house with dolls, she imagined, and she did not have any dolls. Even at that young age, she had quite the maternal instinct.

As she got older, her responsibility grew, the Collins essentially ignoring their adopted children as much as they could. In between school and various part-time jobs, as well as singing on street corners for tips, she cooked and cleaned and helped her siblings with their homework and sang them lullabies to chase away the monsters in the night.

The only time the Collins seemed to pay her any mind was when something strange happened in the house -a vase shattering without cause, the lock on the fridge opening on its own, the bathtub overflowing even though no one had turned on the water- and Nina was always blamed. Usually, she got away with a hard slap or a shove from Samuel, although some incidents were severe enough to warrant being locked in the hall closet for long stretches of time or properly beat. Even if she did not understand why these strange occurrences were her fault, she took the punishments in stride. At least it was her and not one of the younger children.

At eighteen, she told the Collins that she wanted to leave. It was a hard decision, given that she loved her younger siblings, but she had spent her whole life selflessly caring for them and she felt like she needed to start thinking about her future. She had been busking on the city’s streets and making fairly good money (when she was allowed to keep it), so she figured she could make it on her own. Maybe not in New York, but somewhere. Maybe even in Korea, as an idol. She wanted to be a singer more than anything.

Samuel laughed in her face and hit her so hard that she had a bruise on her cheek for a week.

Later that night, Mary gave her an envelope that had apparently come from her birth parents, on the condition that she stayed to help support the family. Hungry for any knowledge of who she was and where she had come from, Nina agreed. Inside the envelope was just a small bundle of tattered papers that looked like they had been ripped from a book. At first, she was immeasurably disappointed and angry. She did not understand why this was the only thing that her birth parents had decided she would need, and it almost seemed like maybe the Collins were playing a cruel joke on her.

However, the book pages were strange, and they soon drew her curiosity. They were in a language she did not recognize, and yet when she tried to read it the words flowed off her tongue effortlessly. And then all of the faucets in the house suddenly began gushing hot water.

The next day, she murmured some of the words when Samuel yelled at her about the dishes not yet being done, and to her shock a plate flew through the air and narrowly avoided his head. The man immediately flew into a rage, yanking Nina from her chair and taking her over to the stove. He lit one burner, dragging her hand over to it. The second her skin touched the red-hot burner, she released an ear-splitting scream that seemed to daze Samuel for a moment. She took that moment to grab her backpack and run out the door, willing herself to not look back.

And so, she was alone. All she had to her name was her wallet, those book pages, and a copy of Macbeth. So, she decided to give herself a clean slate. She renamed herself Charlotte Choi and used the money she had hidden in the lining of her backpack to buy herself a plane ticket to Berlin. She did not know why she had decided to go there until she arrived and a stranger suddenly approached her on the street. It was her sister. She just knew it as soon as she saw her.

She was surprised to see that her sister, Cassandra, had the same spiral burn on her hand as she did. One that had just appeared the same day that Samuel had burned her. But maybe she shouldn't have been surprised, considering the strange things that had been happening around her lately. Not to mention the strange feeling that had drawn her to Berlin in the first place. It was almost unbelievable, to just find a long-lost sister like this, but it felt like a piece she had been missing for her entire life had clicked into place.

And yet, she still did not feel whole. Something was still missing. Cassie felt it too.

Then, a few weeks later, they just suddenly looked up at each other and both said a single word: Seoul. Whatever they were missing, it was in Seoul. But they wanted to know what they were getting into before they flew across the world, so Charlotte flipped through her spell book pages and said an incantation, gripping Cassie's hand. The spell triggered a vision in both of them, showing them another girl who appeared to be in danger, locked in a basement and injured.


They were triplets, they realized. And their last sister needed their help.
 Going to Seoul and tracking down their long-lost third sibling was surprisingly easy, as was blowing their father's door off its hinges, now that their powers were growing. It took all of Charlotte's strength to keep a clear head and stop Cassandra from killing their father for what he had done to Claire. She was just as angry about the situation, but she knew that more violence would solve nothing. So, instead, they took Claire away to safety. For a while, the triplets were rather nomadic, bouncing between various dwellings as they tried to figure out what they were going to do.

Once the dust had settled, there was only one thing they could think to do… They started a rock band. Hexed, the group was called, and they quickly developed a loyal following in Seoul’s underground rock scene. Over the next few years, they made something of a name for themselves, their music videos getting a fair amount of views and their concerts in clubs often being packed. They even did a few shows in Japan.

However, after finally completing their spell book, they found a message within it about a mysterious island called Mount Phoenix. Charlotte still had an inkling of fear about their father possibly trying to find them again, so she was relieved to have a safe place for her and her sisters to live.

PANTHEON: Greek CHILD OF: Hecate POWERS: Charlotte has the ability to cast a wide variety of spells, using either her personal pocket-sized spell book or the large one that she and her sisters share. Her specialty is psychic spells; as ones that alter a person’s perception of reality, influence someone’s mind, or make objects move on their own. She can also create small amounts of fire, but she mostly uses this ability for stage tricks at concerts.

STRENGTHS:

thinks before she acts

can keep a cool head in a crisis

compassionate

creative

keeps herself very physically fit

WEAKNESSES:

suffers from insomnia

often overthinks things

puts others (especially her sisters) before herself

has trouble saying no and standing up for herself

can stretch herself a little too thin

[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

LGBTQIA Historical Romance Novels for Winter, Hanukkah, Solstice, and Christmas! - Updated December 19th, 2018

Christmas Angel by Eli Easton (*Book One of The Christmas Angel series) (I thoroughly enjoyed this Georgian era romance. There is a great group of supporting characters, and this manages to delve into period-typical homophobia, without weighing down the hopeful message of the story.)

- When John Trent, a dedicated member of the new Bow Street Runners, finds an exquisite carved angel floating in the Thames, he can’t stop thinking about it. He tracks down its creator, a sad and quiet young sculptor. But neither the angel nor the sculptor is done with John just yet. The blasted angel refuses to leave him be, behaving not at all like an inanimate object should. Alec Allston is resigned to the fact that his love will ever be a river that flows out and never flows in. All he wanted to do was create a special gift so that a small part of himself could be with his unattainable and noble beloved, always. But when the gift keeps showing back up at his shop in the hands of a windblown and rugged thief-taker, Alec will need to reconsider his conviction that love is destined to remain an ethereal ideal. This book is one of seven stories which can all be read and enjoyed in any order.

On Wing of Song by Anne Barwell

- Six years after meeting British soldier Aiden Foster during the Christmas Truce of 1914, Jochen Weber still finds himself thinking about Aiden, their shared conversation about literature, and Aiden’s beautiful singing voice. A visit to London gives Jochen the opportunity to search for Aiden, but he’s shocked at what he finds. The uniform button Jochen gave him is the only thing Aiden has left of the past he’s lost. The war and its aftermath ripped everything away from him, including his family and his music. When Jochen reappears in his life, Aiden enjoys their growing friendship but knows he has nothing to offer. Not anymore.

The Prince and Her Dreamer by Kayla Bashe (Coming December 12th! A f/f retelling of The Nutcracker!!)

- Clara feels stifled by the life that's been planned out for her, and clings to her only hope that something more might be possible: a mysterious book given to her by her Uncle Drosselmeyer, that recounts the tales of the magnificent warrior woman known as the Red Prince. Decades ago, Drosselmeyer trapped the Red Prince in the form of a doll to save her from the Rats. When the magic of Clara's selfless admiration restores her to human form, she and Clara must find a way to stand against the Rats once and for all if they hope to enjoy the life they've always longed for...

Mr. Winterborne’s Christmas by Joanna Chambers (Yes, a new story for those clamoring for more Adam and Lysander.)

- Lysander Winterbourne has been living happily at Edgeley Park for the last eighteen months. By day he is Adam Freeman's estate manager, by night, his lover...but Adam never speaks of his feelings and Lysander has no idea whether their relationship is any more than a convenient arrangement for Adam. When the two men are invited to Winterbourne Abbey for a family Christmas, matters quickly come to a head. Snowed in at the Abbey with a house full of guests, Lysander has to face up to shocking revelations, long-held secrets and a choice he never expected to have to make...

Careened: Winter Solstice in Madierus by Bey Deckard (Book 3.5 of the Baal’s Heart series--pirates!)

-A Baal's Heart short, following the events in Fated: Blood and Redemption Plagued by terrible dreams, Jon begins to distance himself from Baltsaros and Tom. Perhaps a little holiday cheer is just the thing to help the three of them find common ground again.

Phin’s Christmas by Bonnie Dee

- Doubt invades a fairy-tale holiday. Excited to celebrate his first Christmas with his true love, Phin Abernathy searches for the perfect gift for Teddy, the artist who saved him from solitude (The Artist). But his happy holiday dreams are soon threatened. After a year of living on his own, then with his beloved partner, Phin has mostly banished his negative view of himself.  He and Teddy are happily saving toward a house they can share, when a chance encounter with a stranger raises Phin’s old ghosts of doubt, anxiety, and low self-esteem. Struggling to quell such negative spirits, Phin focuses on volunteering at a children’s shelter. But when he sees his Teddy and handsome Justin Crump (The Medium) in a suspicious situation, it is difficult to control his racing thoughts. Belief in Teddy’s love for him wars with Phin’s fear his lover wants something more. Phin must decide how far he is willing to go to keep Teddy in his life, and truly embrace his own worth before he can ever celebrate the season.

Simon and the Christmas Spirit (Part of Victorian Holiday Hearts Boxed Set) by Summer Devon and Bonnie Dee (A fun romp of a romance, with heart, and lots of laughs.)

- Simon and the Christmas Spirit: The holiday spirit has forsaken Simon Harris. A recent reminder of the man who used then left him sends lonely Simon on a glum visit to his club where a breath of fresh air in the form of Christopher Andrews enters his stale life. Simon and Christopher enjoy a few hours of pleasure, never expecting to see each other again, but Simon’s new resolution to change may transform both men's lives.

The Holly Groweth Green by Amy Rae Durreson

- When wounded doctor Laurence Payne is stranded in the snowy English countryside on Christmas Eve, 1946, he is surprised to stumble upon Mistle Cottage and its mysterious inhabitant. Avery claims to be an Elizabethan wizard, and Laurence struggles to explain away the atmosphere of the cottage as mere coincidence and trickery. He spends a magical twelve days of Christmas celebrating with Avery, but then wakes to find his lover has vanished and the cottage has fallen to ruin overnight. Laurence’s investigations lead him to the story of an ancient fairy curse—Avery is doomed to spend only Christmas Eve to Twelfth Night in human form until he finds true love. Laurence sets out to give Avery the greatest gift of all—his heart and with it the chance to live for more than the fleeting winter weeks he’s been sentenced to.

A Christmas in Kent by Paul Alan Fahey (Part of the Lovers and Liars set, which entails espionage in WWII.)

- It's December 1941. Caroline, Cyril, Edward, and Leslie are home from their recent exploits on the Isle of Man and are now happily ensconced in their cottage in Kent. Feeling safe from the ongoing horrors of war, if only temporarily, Caroline finds herself surrounded by people she loves and who love her, so she counts her blessings and immerses herself in the spirit of the season. She trims the holiday tree with her newly wedded spouse and makes a last minute shopping trip into London. Other family members are busy, as well. Samson and Delilah -- the group’s adopted pair of shelties -- are running amok in The Peasant’s Revenge and causing the pub’s patrons no end of displeasure. Leslie and Edward have a chance encounter with a child who is separated from her parents in Germany and lives nearby with a foster family. Then there’s that something bothering Caroline that simply can’t be ignored much longer. Christmas in Kent will indeed be full of surprises.

The Christmas Wager by Jamie Fessenden

- Lord Thomas Pendleton, second son of the Duke of Branmoor, needs to discharge a debt to his friend Andrew Nash. In doing so, he must return to the family estate he fled six years earlier after refusing to marry the woman his father had chosen. To Thomas’s dismay, Branmoor Hall is no longer the joyful home he remembers from his childhood, and his four-year-old niece has no idea what Christmas is. Determined to bring some seasonal cheer back to the gloomy estate, Thomas must confront his tyrannical father, salvage a brother lost in his own misery, and attempt to fight off his father’s machinations. As Christmas Day draws near, Thomas and his friend Andrew begin to realize they are more than merely close friends… and those feelings are not only a threat to their social positions, but, in Victorian England, to their lives as well.

Summerfield’s Angel by Kim Fielding (*Book Two of The Christmas Angel series) (This one takes place between a cowboy and the son of a retail magnate, with some nice details about 1880′s NYC, and the sort of class differences we usually only see in romances that are based in London.)

- After the hard winter of 1888 ended Alby Boyle’s work as a Nebraska ranch hand, he returned to New York City in search of his long-lost family. His mother and brothers are nowhere to be found, however, and after Alby’s years of absence, Five Corners no longer feels like home. His prospects seem as dim as the nighttime alleys. When Alby pauses to admire an angel ornament in a department store window’s Christmas display, he meets Xeno Varnham-Summerfield. Wealthy, handsome, and enthusiastic, Xeno brings Alby some temporary cheer. But for Alby to achieve his dreams of love and a real home, well, that may take a bit of holiday magic.

Cursed Miracles by Meg Harding

- Two hundred years ago on Christmas Eve, William Mashinter was frozen in time, cursed by his wife to roam the world on his own, waiting for the love of his life to find him. The love of his life, whom she killed. Time hasn’t healed this wound, and William is tired of the happy holiday and the constant reminders of a love that’s been taken from him. But then the impossible happens, and maybe… maybe he can get a new Christmas perspective.Brady Gallagher has lived three different lives, always aware of the first and most important, yet unable to find the man who will fill in the missing pieces and let him know he’s not crazy. He encounters him at a work event, of all places, but is he willing to throw everything else to the wind and embrace the miracle laid out before him?A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2016 Advent Calendar "Bah Humbug."

Christopher’s Christmas by Adella J Harris

- Valet Chris MacCullan knows better than to fall in love with someone at a Christmas house party, but there’s nothing wrong with a bit of fun. Even with the shy, sweet son of the housekeeper, as long as he’s careful not to do anything that will hurt the fellow later.  But as he gets to know his new friend, can he protect his own heart?

A Christmas Hex by Jordan L Hawk (A Hexworld short story)

- Roland knows he will never find love. Everyone views wolf familiars like himself as dangerous beasts, unable to rein in their savage impulses. He’s resigned himself to his fate—or so he thinks, until he meets the dashing Augustus Cao. His witch.Gus is on the trail of a gang of thieves, and Roland holds an important clue. Even though they can never bond, Roland can’t pass up the opportunity to spend a night with his witch.Can Roland conceal his secret, while helping Gus catch the thieves? Or will the handsome detective be the one to steal his heart?

Harmony by Jordan L Hawk (A Whyborne & Griffin short story set after Bloodline)

The Magician’s Angel by Jordan L Hawk (*Book Three of The Christmas Angel series)(Currently reading...)

- Vaudeville stage magician Christopher Fiend lives for the spotlight. His chance at big time stardom awaits him in Chicago, the next stop on the circuit after the little town of Twelfth Junction. Edward Smith wants nothing to do with his family's theater. Until Christopher catches his eye on opening night, then treats him to a very special performance during intermission. When a dead body turns up in the middle of Christopher’s act, suspicion immediately falls on him. If Christopher and Edward can’t work together to clear his name, Christopher won’t make it to Chicago in time. Edward knows he shouldn’t get attached to a man who will be gone in two days, but his heart—and a very special angel—have other ideas. The Christmas Angel series of holiday romances follow the travels of an angel ornament through the decades as she inspires (and sometimes nudges) lonely men to find their Happily Ever After. The Magician’s Angel is the third in series, which can be read in any order.

A Gay Fairy Tale by Christina Lee and Riley Hart (This one is set in an alternate world, where it’s always winter. Has a nice bit of hope at the end, when Merrick challenges his kingdom’s preconceptions.)

- As next in line for the Evergreen crown, Prince Merrick Davendall’s future involves ruling, marriage, and producing an heir of his own. But he’s long been tormented by desires that are far from princely. Especially when the beautiful Cassius is promoted to be his new valet, and Merrick is struck by a longing like never before—a longing to know him far beyond royal and servant. After his father’s passing, Cassius Havendale’s sole duty is to provide for his family. A promotion to serve a pampered prince is something he endures only for their sake. Surely Prince Merrick has no understanding of the true suffering of the common people, nor could he possibly understand what it’s like to desperately desire something he cannot have. Except the prince is not at all what Cassius imagined. Kind, humorous, and caring to those in need, he also shares Cassius’s affinity for the arts. In fact, Merrick understands his deepest vulnerabilities in a most remarkable way. As their affection deepens, the underlying tension between them becomes unbearable and they’re unable to ignore it any longer. But when the queen prepares a lavish ball with all the eligible ladies in the land in attendance, Merrick must fulfill his obligations to his country, and Cassius has the needs of his family to consider. They’ve long known their stolen moments would have to come to an end, but are they ready to give up one another and the idea of a happily-ever-after?

His Regelence Rake by JL Langley (Book Three of the Sci-Regency series)(I love this whole series, but this one was given a holiday theme at the end, and it makes for a lovely HEA background to the story that develops throughout re: the stables.)

- Sebastian Hastings, Viscount Wentworth, is captain of the Royal Guard by day and scandalous rake by night. To protect the royal family of Regelence from the plots of the Intergalactic Navy, Sebastian makes it his priority to personally oversee their safety. Prince Colton Townsend is done pining after the roguish viscount and focuses his attention on his second love—horses. Following his dream of owning a racehorse breeding farm distracts Colton from his heartache… until Sebastian begins shadowing him. When a good deed at a horse auction sparks public rumors, Colton just might get the man and the marriage he’s longed for. But Sebastian’s duties and secrets keep him walled off from those who would get close. To reach Sebastian, Colton takes one last risk that might break his heart….

The Forgotten Man by Ryan Loveless

- In 1932, after Captain Joshua Pascal’s family loses its fortune, the Great War veteran’s sense of duty compels him to help his mother convert his childhood home into a Jewish boarding house. He’s lived openly as a homosexual among his friends, but now Joshua must pretend to be a “normal,” and hiding his nature is a lonely way of life. But in the middle of Chanukah, Joshua meets Will, a street musician with a ready smile, and wonders if he might deserve a chance at love. During the cold December nights they find comfort in each other. But the specter of the workhouse and the possibility of family and personal ruin hang over them, making their every move dangerous. Which would they rather lose: their lives as they know them... or the promise of a future together?

Last Leap of the First-Foot by Ari McKay

- Iain Donaldson and Bran MacRae have been best friends since childhood, despite Iain being part of the gentry and Bran a mere crofter's son. Iain's feelings of friendship have deepened over time, and he suspects Bran might share his inclinations—and Hogmanay may be the time to confess feelings. As the old year becomes the new, Iain keeps his promise to first-foot at the MacRae cottage, and Bran takes the opportunity to bare his heart—will it be enough to overcome the challenges to their budding relationship? A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2013 Advent Calendar package "Heartwarming".

My True Love Gave To Me by Ava March

- Alexander Norton loathes the festive season. The revelry of the ton is a reminder of Christmas four years ago, when his first love, Thomas Bennett, broke his heart and fled to New York without a word. So when he encounters Thomas at a holiday ball, Alexander is determined not to let on how much he still hurts. Thomas has returned for one reason only: Alexander. Having finally come to terms with his forbidden desires, he will do whatever he must to convince Alexander to give their love another chance. But instead of the happy, carefree man Thomas once knew, Alexander is now hard and cynical. Saddened to know he's to blame for the man's bitterness, Thomas resolves to reignite the passion he knows lies hidden behind the wall of disdain...

The Mistletoe Kiss by Ruby Moone (My favorite LGBT historical Christmas romance. An MC with a disability, and a beautiful May/December romance that evolves from friends to lovers.)

- By 1816, widowed bookseller Lawrence Fenton has spent a lonely lifetime hiding who he is. He has convinced himself his feelings for his far too young, gorgeous, but troubled assistant Christy Shaw are nothing more than pride in his protégé and concern for his plight. Christy’s life involves walking fine lines: one between his mother and his abusive stepfather, one where he must keep his needs hidden, and hardest of all, one where he must keep his feelings for his serious employer to himself. Lame since birth, Lawrence cannot imagine anyone wanting him, least of all Christy. But when Christy’s life threatens to spiral out of control, Lawrence steps in. Then Christy’s emotions spill over into a kiss under the mistletoe at Christmas. Will Lawrence be able to face the long-buried truth about himself and keep Christy by his side?

The Wrong Kind of Angel by Ruby Moone (prequel to Trapped) (Charles is a sweet bon bon. Just saying.)

- A reluctant angel, three not terribly wise men, two gorgeous men on a starlit chase to find a child … It can only be Christmas. It’s Christmas 1817 and Captain Charles Farrington has accepted that he is destined to live alone. That is, until Christmas Eve, when a startlingly handsome man crashes into his home and his life. Harry Valentine is a man on the run. A man with secrets. He hasn’t time to fall for the angel who rescued him and, in any case, he knows that once Charlie realises the truth about him, there will be no future for them. Harry’s warmth makes Charles face up to the demons in his past and shows him that he can have a family. All he has to do is persuade Harry to stay. But Charlie knows that, despite whatever Harry says, he’s the wrong kind of angel for happy endings.

The Christmas Curse by Ruby Moone (A dose of cheer and magic for a lonely man at Christmas.)

- It’s almost Christmas 1806, and government agent Jared Templeton finds himself adopted by a beautiful stray dog as he walks his customary route each night to his Mayfair home. Having never owned a dog before, Jared is surprised to find himself talking to the beast. It’s wonderfully easy and lifts some of the heavy burdens he carries. Eventually Jared confides in the dog, not only secrets about his work as an agent, but also the biggest secret about himself. About his innermost desires and needs, safe in the knowledge his companion will never betray him. But at the stroke of midnight on Christmas Eve, Jared discovers things are not quite what they seem …

The Lion Lies Waiting by Glenn Quigley (Sequel to The Moth and Moon)

- Winter, 1780, and the solstice is fast approaching. Four months after the events of The Moth and Moon, burly fisherman Robin Shipp is preparing for his first Midwinter festival with his lover, the handsome baker Edwin Farriner. But when a letter arrives begging for help, they must travel with their friend, Duncan, to Port Knot on sinister Blackrabbit Island for a final confrontation with Edwin’s mother. Also visiting the island are Lady Eva and her wife Iris, with a stunning proposition that could change Robin and Edwin’s lives forever.The snow-covered harbour town of Port Knot is a dangerous place. While there, Robin, Edwin, and Duncan explore the menacing rooftop settlement known as the Roost, mingle with high society in the magnificent splendour of Chase Manor, and uncover a violent conspiracy threatening the island’s entire way of life.Old rivalries will flare, shocking secrets will be revealed, and as Duncan’s scandalous past finally catches up with him, will it ultimately destroy them all?The men will be tested to their limits as they discover that on Blackrabbit Island, the lion lies waiting.

A Gentleman’s Agreement by J Roman (This had one of the best endings I’ve read, very sweet, and the whole story is one of low-dose period-typical homophobia.)

- Thomas Derrik is about to have the worst Christmas of his life. Three days before the holiday, he finds out the father he doesn’t get along with is arriving on Christmas Eve, his ex-lover and new brother-in-law will be staying at his estate until the New Year, and his beloved brother, Edmund, has died. Luckily, Edmund’s last holiday scheme may well save Thomas’s Christmas: Henry Appleby, a young lord fresh from the Continent, has arranged to court Thomas. But the family tragedy and jealous exes may put an end to the romance before it begins. A story from the Dreamspinner Press 2012 Advent Calendar package "Evergreen"

Yuletide Truce by Sandra Schwab

- London, 1845 It's December, Alan "Aigee" Garmond's favorite time of the year, when the window display of the small bookshop where he works fills up with crimson Christmas books and sprays of holly. Everything could be perfect — if it weren't for handsome Christopher Foreman, the brilliant writer for the fashionable magazine About Town, who has taken an inexplicable and public dislike to Aigee's book reviews. But why would a man such as Foreman choose to target reviews published in a small bookshop's magazine? Aigee is determined to find out. And not, he tells himself, just because he finds Foreman so intriguing. Aigee’s quest leads him from smoke-filled ale-houses into the dark, dingy alleys of one of London's most notorious rookeries. And then, finally, to Foreman. Will Aigee be able to wrangle a Yuletide truce from his nemesis?

The Return of the Earl by Sandra Schwab

- On the Continent they call him the Ice Prince, icy of manner, icy of heart. Now, after thirteen years of exile, Con returns home to England and to Harrowcot Hall, a place haunted by memories of a long-lost friendship and past betrayals, a place where all of his dreams shattered and died. But the past is over and done with, and can no longer touch him -- or so Con thinks. He certainly does not expect to come face to face with Bryn Ellison again, the man whom he once loved beyond everything and who repudiated their bond in the cruelest way imaginable. As snow and frost close in on Harrowcot Hall, Con's icy demeanour starts to melt while he grapples with old hurts and newly awakened passions. Will he give in to the lure of the past against his better judgement?

Ansel of Pryor House by Hayden Thorne (Magical romance in a YA format, with a twist of gothic, and a warming message.)

- Fifteen-year-old Ansel Tunnicliffe has lived a harsh life. Abandoned by his mother and his siblings to a drunk and abusive father, Ansel knows nothing more than hunger, fear, pain, and loneliness in his short life. One evening, a wealthy stranger appears, challenges Mr. Tunnicliffe to a game of cards, and easily wins. The prize? Ansel. The terrified boy is whisked away to a remote and mysterious house, whose stern and aristocratic mistress takes Ansel in for a purpose that remains elusive to him. Little by little, however, Ansel discovers additional secrets in every magical room of Pryor House -- secrets that are somehow linked to him and Miss Peveler’s strange interest in his welfare. One of those secrets also turns out to be a young boy who haunts Ansel’s lonely hours and who may very well hold the key to Ansel’s future and the shadowy history of Pryor House.

Christmas Homecoming by LA Witt (*Book Three of The Christmas Angel series)

- August 1939. Roger Miller and Jack O’Brien have been close since childhood. By the time they realize there’s more between them than friendship, Jack is leaving their sleepy Iowa town for college. But they console themselves knowing he’ll be home for Christmas. Right? It is Christmas before they see each other again, but that Christmas comes six years and a world war later. Aged, beaten, and shaken by combat, they’re not the boys they were back then, but their feelings for each other are stronger than ever. Neither know the words to say everything they’ve carried since that peacetime summer kiss, though. Even as they stand in the same room, there’s a thousand miles between them. But maybe that’s some distance the little angel in Roger’s rucksack can cross.

A Christmas Carol by Em Woods (Dickens’ classic retelling)

-The Classics Exposed…Love at first sight is a beautiful thing, but sometimes, true love waits a lifetime to shine…and then needs a little help from the Three Ghosts of Christmas.As a young man, Ebenezer Scrooge felt the sharp pain of loss and resolved to protect his heart from all others, taking solace in his gold and silver. Years of discarding his own emotions, and those of anyone around him, has turned Scrooge cold.When deceased lover and partner Jacob Marley pays miserly Scrooge a late night visit, pride and disbelief buoy Scrooge's courage. As the fabled Ghosts of Christmas Past, Present, and Yet-to-Come arrive to show Scrooge the error of his ways, they also give him brief glimpses of a love so strong it has stood the test of time.In an inspiring tale of change, a deep-seated need flares to life, leaving Scrooge without a doubt that love and family are what really matter at Christmas.Reader Advisory: This book contains gay erotic content with a leaning toward domination/submission and one scene of dubious consent.

A Calm Before The Storm (Dark Is The Night series 2.8) by Kelley York and Rowan Altwood

- James and William’s first Christmas together in their own home ought to be a cause for celebration. But when money is tight, and William is going through withdrawals in an attempt to get off of his laudanum completely, the level of holiday cheer is dismally low. James won’t give up so easily. Especially when he finds the perfect Christmas gift for William, and he’ll do whatever he must in order to get it. A Calm Before the Storm is a sweet, short story companion to the Dark is the Night series.

A Land So Wild by Alyssa Warkentin

- In 1845, the HMS Vanguard, under the command of Captain William Caulderson, departed England on a voyage of discovery to find a Northwest Passage through the perilous arctic waters separating the Atlantic and Pacific oceans. It was never heard from again.

Five years later, Captain David Maxwell of the Serapis sets sail to attempt to recover the Vanguard and determine the fate of his former commander.

Naturalist Embleton Hall is running from demons of his own. He doesn’t expect to find himself drawn to Captain Maxwell--but the two men form a bond that will become essential to their survival.

Together, they'll brave the elements on a long and harrowing voyage to discover the fate of the lost ship Vanguard. But they'll also learn that some secrets are best left frozen in ice.

*The Christmas Angel Series (info below the cut)

In 1750, a master woodcarver poured all his unrequited love, passion, and longing into his masterpiece—a gorgeous Christmas angel for his beloved’s tree. When the man he loved tossed the angel away without a second thought, a miracle happened. The angel was found by another who brought the woodcarver True Love. Since then, the angel has been passed down, sold, lost and found, but its magic remains. Read the romances inspired by (and perhaps nudged along by) the Christmas angel through the years. Whether it’s the 1880’s New York (Kim Fielding’s Summerfield’s Angel), the turn-of-the-century (Jordan L. Hawk’s Magician’s Angel), World War II (L.A. Witt’s Christmas Homecoming), Vietnam-era (N.R. Walker’s Soldier’s Wish), the 1990’s (Anyta Sunday’s Shrewd Angel), or 2018 (RJ Scott’s Christmas Prince), the Christmas angel has a way of landing on the trees of lonely men who need its blessing for a very Merry Christmas and forever HEA.

[queenofcats17]

Hiraeth

A Welsh concept of longing for home.  To some, it implies the meaning of missing a time, an era, or a person. It is associated with the bittersweet memory of missing something or someone, while being grateful of that/ their existence. 

@randomwriteronline wrote a story where their character Eska was Esther and Joey’s brother, so now I’m gonna write something with it. 

Esther had two brothers one brother. 

Joey was six years younger, so their relationship could be a bit strained sometimes. Their gap in age was large enough that they were always in different stages of development. But she loved him more than anything, and there was nothing she enjoyed more than watching him draw. She’d draw with him sometimes, but she’d never been as good as he was. He told her it just took practice, and that she’d be good if she just kept trying, but she didn’t have the joy for it that he did.

She’d been closer to Eli. He’d only been three years younger. He didn’t like being inside much. They’d loved playing down by the river and looking for animals. Sometimes Eli would find little animal skulls and take them home to put in a box under his bed. Esther liked finding pretty rocks or feathers to give him. She loved seeing him smile when she presented him with her gifts. Their parents had been worried about him. But he never hurt anyone. 

A lot of kids had picked on Joey. He was small, sickly, and he would rather have spent his time drawing than playing with other children. The fact that he was Jewish didn’t help matters. Other kids liked taking his sketchbooks and throwing them in puddles or ripping them up in front of him. Given that Esther was six years older, this meant she was older and bigger than most of Joey’s bullies. She didn’t feel too bad about beating up a bunch of kids. They might have been children, but they were cruel and hateful creatures. Joey could be a little shit sometimes, but no one was allowed to rip up his sketchbooks or beat him up. He was her brother and she would protect him with her life.

Kids beat up Eli too. A lot more than Joey, actually. He didn’t like talking to other children. He stayed in the library during school hours, reading in a corner. The librarians had adored him. They always said he was such a polite boy. Although, that might just have been because he didn’t talk much. Most people didn’t like Eli. They thought he was unsettling. Everyone said he had strange eyes. One brown, one blue. No one in their family had blue eyes. They didn’t know where it had come from. Eli never fought back when people hurt him. He just curled into himself. He didn’t cry. 

Joey got sick a lot. The doctors their parents took him to said he had a weak immune system. Their parents’ greatest fear was that Joey would get polio. Polio was practically a death sentence. Everyone was a little overprotective of him when it came to his health. Eli never seemed to get sick. Maybe it was all the playing outside. Joey’s health got better as he got older, although he was always prone to sickness. Thankfully, he never caught polio. At least, he never got it while he was living at home. Looking back, Esther wondered if she shouldn’t have coddled him so much. She’d always had a hard time telling him no. Their parents had been the same way. Maybe if they’d been more firm with him, he wouldn’t have done all he had.

Lots of people said there was something wrong with Eli. Esther and Joey didn’t like those people. Their parents were always polite, but they knew their parents didn’t like those people either. There was nothing wrong with him, no matter what anyone else said. He was just different, that was all. Once their parents figured out that he needed different care than Esther, they were all a lot happier. Even if their parents didn’t always understand Eli, they loved him. Esther liked counting his freckles and comparing them to constellations.  That always made him smile. She did it with Joey too, but Eli liked it more. Eli liked constellations. Sometimes Esther looked up at the sky and traced the constellations she’d pointed out to him. 

Joey liked drawing everything and anything. He especially liked drawing people, even though he wasn’t much good at it. Eli was his favorite. He always said Eli had an interesting face. He told their parents a lot that he wanted to be an artist. They encouraged him, seeing how happy drawing made him, but they were always quick to point out that it was hard to make a living as an artist. They were worried about him, that was all. Joey took it to mean they didn’t believe in him. But then again, he was always such an angry child. He was always angry. Angry at the world for the way it treated him and his family, angry at Esther, angry at his parents. He got angry at Eli too, but not often. Eli didn’t do much to make people in the house angry. 

When Esther was 15, she stopped beating up the bullies. She was getting into high school now, and it was quickly becoming less and less acceptable for ‘a lady her age’ to be engaging in such activities. A few of the parents had actually threatened to call the police on her. She was at the age where she was beginning to grow painfully aware of what people thought of her. She didn’t want to be known as a troublemaker. She had to think about what she wanted to do with her life. She knew she wanted to do something to help people who couldn’t help themselves. She wanted to defend the people who were picked on by society. 

Seeing how anxious Esther was about high school and her future, their parents had decided they all needed a vacation. There was a lakehouse that a friend of their father’s had. They’d gone down there a few times before. It was a nice enough place. The Drew children often swam in the lake or spent time wandering through the woods. 

They didn’t go there again after Eli was gone. It was where he died, after all.

The trip over was uneventful, even if Esther and Joey were snipping at each other the whole way over. Esther had a book she needed to read and an essay she needed to write on said book and it was stressing her out quite a bit. Eli sat between them to keep them from hitting each other. He was excited because he always found cool things in the lake or the forest. Almost as soon as they got there, Joey dragged her into the forest. He wanted to go sketch some plants. Eli wanted to find some animal skulls, so he helped with the dragging. Esther put up a bit of a fight, insisting she had homework to do. But her brothers' enthusiasm prevailed. She liked the forest anyway.

She ended up sitting on the bank of the lake, just staring at the water. She took her shoes off, letting her feet dangle in the water. Joey had gone to his favorite spot to draw, a clearing with a fairy circle and a small collection of wildflowers. He liked drawing flowers. Eli had disappeared to God knows where. He was exceptionally good at disappearing into nature. Esther stared down into the water, humming to herself. It was nice to be away from the stress of school for a little. She didn’t have to worry about her responsibilities or people’s expectations for the moment. 

After a moment or two, she sighed and laid down, turning her gaze to the sky. It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining, a few powderpuff clouds drifting across the blue blue sky. Esther allowed herself a small smile. Joey had been really excited to come here. He’d been so moody lately. She’d been worried.

Suddenly Joey came running out of the woods. His face was red and blotchy, streaked with tears, and his clothes were covered in blood. 

“Jojo? What’s-” She started to ask what was wrong.

“Eli fell out of a tree! He’s not moving!” Joey wailed, grabbing her arm and tugging hurriedly at it. She let him drag her to where their brother lay. He was on the ground, body crumpled like a discarded doll. There was blood coming from a wound on his head and his neck was bent at an odd angle. He wasn’t moving.

“What do we do?” Joey looked on the verge of a total breakdown.

“We have to get Ma and Pa.” Esther managed to force the words out, hoping her voice wasn’t shaking as much as she thought it was. She’d never seen someone die before.

“I’ll stay here.” She looked down at Joey. “Go get Ma and Pa.” Joey hesitated a little but did as she asked. Esther knelt beside her little brother, trying to force herself not to cry.

“You’re okay.” She whispered, drawing him into her lap. “You’re going to be okay.” He wasn’t breathing. His eyes were glassy and lifeless. He was dead. She knew he was dead. 

By the time Joey returned with their parents, she was holding Eli to her chest and sobbing. She said something about him getting cold and that he needed a sweater. She didn’t want to let him go, even as their parents tried to gently pry him away from her. They needed to take him back to the house. Maybe clean him up a little. Esther didn’t want to let him go.

The descendants of Eli were supposedly cursed to die before reaching old age. She hadn’t known it would happen to her Eli.

They left the lakehouse early. She couldn’t remember why. She didn’t like thinking about that vacation. For some reason, it always made her feel like crying. 

They took him back home. He was buried the next day. He had to be buried as soon as possible, in keeping with their traditions. Joey said at the funeral that Eli would probably like the fact that his body would provide food for the creatures who lived in the ground. They all took some comfort in this fact. Eli would be happy that his body was returning to nature.

Esther didn’t remember why she and Joey had grown apart so much. After they’d returned from the lake, it was like there was a rift between the two of them. She threw herself into her schoolwork, focusing on staying out of trouble as much as possible. She stopped beating up Joey’s bullies. She’d still threaten them, of course, but they no longer received a violent punishment from her. Joey’s anger grew, simmering quietly in his heart as his sister seemingly turned her back on him. Their parents became even more protective of Joey. Like they were scared of losing him.

They all forgot Eli. It happened slowly. First, he started vanishing from pictures, then letters. His school assignments started to go missing. He was gone from their memories before they even understood what was happening. They’d been trying to put him from their minds anyway. But Esther still had a box of rocks and skulls under her bed. She didn’t know where it had come from, but she knew it was important. Joey had always wanted a room of his own. Now he finally had it. He didn’t even notice Eli’s things were gone.

When Joey ran away, their parents were inconsolable. They didn’t understand why they were reacting so strongly. They were terrified at the idea of losing him, as though they’d lost a child before. Esther too was terrified when her mother called her at the law firm to tell her. The feeling felt familiar somehow. She felt like she’d lost her brother before. But that couldn’t possibly be right. She disregarded it as her mind playing tricks on her in her panic. 

Sometimes Esther found herself missing a brother she didn’t think she’d had. She had a vague memory of a second brother, one older than Joey but younger than her. But there was no evidence that she’d ever had a brother aside from Joey. She’d asked her parents about it, and they didn’t remember having another child either. But still...Sometimes they’d point to a spot family photo and start to say someone’s name before stopping, realizing that there was no one there.

Her children asked after their uncle often. They knew their mother had a brother. There was an empty room at their grandparent’s house filled with toys and books and things labeled with Joey’s name. Esther didn’t talk about Joey very often. After all, he’d made it quite clear he didn’t want to be found by them. He hadn’t told them where he’d been going. They had to find out from the announcement of his studio’s opening in the papers that he was even still alive. So Esther had avoided every question. But sometimes, if she wasn’t paying attention, she’d start telling them about their uncle who had loved animals and collected animals skulls and pretty rocks before quickly realizing that she’d never had a brother like that. 

“If Uncle Joey isn’t like that, then who does that box belong to?” Rachel asked, pointing to the box Esther kept on the mantle. She didn’t know why she’d brought the box with her when she’d left for college. She’d kept it with her even after she’d married Robert. 

“I’ve told you, sweetheart, it’s probably mine,” Esther assured her. It had a faded E on the lid, after all.

“But you said it wasn’t yours.” Isaac piped up. “You said it belonged to someone else.” Esther sighed.

“Alright, maybe I did.” She conceded. 

“Who did it belong to?” Rachel demanded. “Why is it so important?”

“I don’t know, darling.”

Such a vague answer had never been good enough for someone like Rachel, but she couldn’t find any better answers. No one in the family knew where the box had come from. Esther just knew it was important to her. She didn’t want to lose it. 

She didn’t understand why, when she went to her brother’s studio, the handyman with the skull mask was so familiar. She’d passed him on her way to Joey’s office to deliver the bankruptcy documents. She’d insisted on handling the case. This time, she was going to make sure she helped her brother. He might not want her help, but he was getting it. The handyman was latched onto a small dark-skinned man who was talking with a blonde woman. He was very tall and very thin, with cinnamon skin peppered with freckles, wearing a ratty pair of overalls. His freckles formed constellations on his skin. Their eyes met as she passed. He had strange eyes. One brown, one blue. 

“Mrs. Klein?” Grant cleared his throat politely. “Mr. Drew’s office is this way.”

“Ah, of course.” She nodded, turning away from the handyman and following Grant down to the office. 

She didn’t see the handyman when she left. She told herself she’d just been imagining it. That strange feeling she’d gotten when she’d seen his eyes. She didn’t know him. 

Eska wondered if she still had his box of animals skulls and rocks. He missed that box. He didn’t want to talk to her, though. He wasn’t her brother anymore. If she helped Joey, he’d have to kill her. Joey was going to do bad things. She could do bad things too. She was Joey’s sister, after all. Just as impulsive as him. But he hoped he wouldn’t have to kill her. She was nice.

[floggingink]

Riverdale: “Chapter Thirteen: The Sweet Hereafter”

six seconds in, we’re hit with the pun “cliffhanger,” which meant I had to pause the recording immediately after it began and brew a very strong tea

“Life’s not an Agatha Christie novel,” Jughead mumbles, reminding himself, standing in line at Stumptown for Betty’s latte

Jason “I’ll Sell These Drugs But Not These Drugs” Blossom, killed for his moral relativism

is there quite a business for heroin in Montreal? is Montreal the hub of heroin in Canada, the Philly of Canada? I tell you, I have heard more mentionings of Montreal on Riverdale than I have my entire life before it (what I’m calling “Phase One” of my life, or maybe “B.R.”)

where did the Hiram Lodge leather satchel come from to be planted at Mustang’s? didn’t Hermione give one stuffed full of cash to the Mayor?

what, if anything, did Clifford think of Jughead Jones, to spew at FP while threatening his life? (write this fic for me)

FP tossing his Sabrina comic to the side becomes Pop sliding Jughead’s coffee across the counter: LEE TOLAND KRIEGER. this is going to be one of THOSE episodes

is Jughead’s dream to be a sort of Alice, drinking coffee and writing his scoop in a real newspaper office?

“75 MORE YEARS OF PEP!”

“last vestiges of corruption crushed”—ma’am, you took a BRIBE

can we get FP some new clothes in there, in holding? maybe a DVD player? is there so little other crime in Riverdale that FP has been free to lounge in solitary relaxation there for days?

I don’t know why Jughead was allowed to sit in on the meeting between FP and Sheriff Keller, but it means he gets to lounge against a wall in the blue prison lighting without himself being detained, which is always welcome

the Serpents only deal in “dime bags of weed,” so whatever else they do to be a Scary Gang is up in the air, menacing public spaces

FP is SO COOL AND COLLECTED in the face of a 20-years-to-life threat, truly an inspiration for those in tight corners with authority: smirk at your legs, chin pointed down, show off your cheekbones, reveal nothing

not enough column inches devoted to Archie’s waistline. while not the coveted martini glass Chuck Clayton sported, Archie’s waistline is instead a gently tapered pilsner glass, deceptive in its easy concealment under a heavy letterman jacket or zipped-up hoodie, until, draped only in a grey T-shirt, it shows its full force and effect

(Jughead is a hand-blown lead crystal sommeliers champagne flute, designed with a thin rim to heighten the effect of the bubbles on the nose)

you know LEE TOLAND KRIEGER has Fred Andrews brooding in the steamy sunbeams of his kitchen window!

there’s a rose gold French press and a porcelain green tea kettle on the counter behind him

Maturing Friend points to Archie for acknowledging that his “dealing” is different from Jughead, Betty, and Veronica still being in the thick of it

I’d give $30 to know what huge book Veronica is reading

“He’s your father, not the Godfather”: Godfather reference #1

Betty is unbelievably self-possessed at the breakfast table that she looks that calm while ripping up her palm

difference between telling Jughead your problems and telling Archie your problems: Betty’s like, My family’s acting happy, and Archie’s like, That’s great, babe!

Archie laughs at Betty’s “Greek suburban tragedy,” which she gives him a look for, but this is just what Archie has been conditioned to do. he doesn’t totally understand everything, so he’s learned to just laugh gamely

Archie doesn’t understand Veronica’s “pas de deux”

Mayor McCoy is doing some frantic PR, looping Archie and Betty into the Jubilee

“What about Jughead?” GOD I LOVE THIS ARCHIE

Mayor McCoy “likes” Jughead. will we ever learn how Jug wrangled his way into a meeting with her about the drive-in?

along with baby showers and birthday parties, jubilees aren’t Jughead’s “thing”

Jughead doubts it: “Kevin, relax. This isn’t The Wire.” Jughead is doubtlessly one of those people who think The Wire is the greatest TV show ever made (which it is), and I want to say he might also be one of those people who sits down their SO and makes them watch it from beginning to end (which he should)

throughout this incredible West Wing circle-around of Sad Breakfast Club eating lunch, Kevin tersely bounces an orange on his tray, Veronica has a salad, Betty has assorted fruit, Jughead has a sandwich, Archie appears to be drinking apple juice (MY MAN)

Veronica, and this happened, stood up to deliver the news about her and Archie. it’s because she knows how important it is!

Archie, mouthing: Don’t. No. No. No. No. What’re you doing.

Please protect Betty: Betty’s like, And this is coming from me, I’m telling you to relax.

“Instead he was buried like a pauper.” I’m picturing the burial in Amadeus, where Mozart’s body is dumped out of a reusable coffin into a heap of bodybags, blessed in the rain by the priest on duty, dusted with lime, and walked away from, already forgotten

“Why are you crying? You hated him.” I really have difficulty conceptualizing or putting into words the particular scariness of Penelope Blossom, like the quiet venom things she does, the way she sneers and her subzero motionless rage stewing, like how she was staring into the fireplace last episode? DAMN. Penelope Blossom is like an 80’s psychological thriller villain transplanted into a 2010’s teen soap, and she begat Riverdale’s greatest thematic creation, Cheryl Blossom, who lives her life as if every moment is the dramatic bombshell scene before cutting to commercial

Penelope...just...unambiguously endorses hanging yourself instead of “this awful limbo,” “living,” “being alive,” “reality”

Every triangle has three corners, every triangle has three sides: Archie double-checking with Betty is sweet, Betty stopping Archie before he gets started on his “But I always thought…” is ESSENTIAL

he’s still thinking about it! COME ON ARCHIE. his little yeeaahhhh... microexpression

the 2001 Josie and the Pussycats movie was a masterpiece: Josie: Oh...we’re not going to sing it. Oh, did you think we were going to sing it?

I will give Hal Cooper credit for smiling proudly at Betty while her mom compliments her article

but ONLY FOR THAT

Betty’s heavily structured trench coat is righteous

Cheryl “abdicates” as the Vixens’ “directoress,” like she’s the tsar

she could be, with that choker!

“I’ve shed my tears for the Blossom men.” and now she’s in grim business mode, sooooo

Betty wasn’t allowed to publish in her mother’s newspaper so she published in her own damn newspaper

thank you Veronica for telling me how to pronounce “Bechdel”

“Swear on the September issue?” “And on my copy of Forever by Judy Blume.”

Fred Andrews had a fast, serious talk with the social worker: “You gotta call him ‘Jughead.’ I know his name is Forsythe. You gotta call him Jughead or he’s not going anywhere with you.”

I’m writing a scene where it’s gay.: Archie and Jughead coming back from doing who knows what together, Archie tosses his jacket onto the staircase, Jug is like, NICE

this is a new jacket from Jug! the boy loves a fleece lining!

Certified pedigree: Fred is juuuust on this side of too poor and sad to be able to house Jughead

Jughead’s “It doesn’t sound completely horrible” is a radical concession from him, perhaps has been waiting for this moment for months, for Children’s Services to catch up to him

Archie runs to FP to save Jughead. is there a revolving door to FP’s cellblock?

“It tears me up, red, but the Serpents are my tribe.”

FP calls his son “scrappy, a survivor,” which is what everyone wants their father to know for a fact about them

“He’ll try and pull away inside himself. . . He’s got some darkness in him.” he will! he does! cut to: the burger

a one-on-one Jughead and Veronica scene? I’ve not only already signed up, I’m standing at the entrance with a clipboard waving down passersby on the street for more signatures

“You and I have a lot in common”: Jughead goes straight for the superficial prison thing, and Veronica counters with the superficial dating-the-best-friends ergo thrown-into-each-other’s-company thing, but what else could we mention here? fixation on “truth”? fixation on outer appearance as social armor? fixation on father’s legacy as relates to nature-versus-nurture destiny of self? fixation on Betty Cooper as a means to salvation? so many options

I would appreciate an explanation for why sometimes Jughead has lunch with the rest of the gang and sometimes he’s not there. and now he’s at lunch and no one else is there with him except Veronica. do high schools have two lunches now? is one like an extended breakfast before homeroom, or a free period? what different electives do they have that their schedules are slightly different? for instance Archie still presumably has his MUSIC THEORY

Cheryl’s pins: blue cherry pin on her soft cornflower blue wrap top

it’s validating to know Cheryl considers her Bakelite spider pin to be as fantastic as I do

also I love the word “recompense,” so Cheryl is skyrocketing

Veronica recognizes this, the second instance of Cheryl giving away a treasured possession, as the red flag it is (plus making amends!), while Jughead, NOTABLY, pockets the pin as advised

the hanged Betty doll strung up on her locker with twine is like something Nikolaj Coster-Waldau’s nieces would have played with out in the woods in Mama

the phrase “Go to hell, Serpent slut” is so, SUCH a mix of high and low art, the plebeian and proletarian, “GO TO HELL” is so bourgeois and chill and indignant and after that they still have enough pig’s blood to call her a slut, which is like SO trashy Draco Malfoy?

what is FP Jones innocent OF in Betty’s article? he’s not being charged WITH murder, and he IS guilty of some murder-adjacent villainy, so I assume Betty’s article is more about his character assassination

Betty’s already in the dazed later stages of absorbing and/or filing this under “emotionally deal with later,” Polly is about to cry

Jughead, who watches Carrie every Wednesday, is always ready to tell Betty the ugly truth, the viscera of the truth

BUT he like whispers it as she, SLIGHTLY in denial to herself while knowing she’s slightly in denial, attempts to tear it down and he’s like mmmmmmmm standing in front of it to redirect her attention and he GETS HER OUT OF THERE, he’s like Agent Toscano in the back kitchens at Georgetown with Zoey

Archie doesn’t know where you could get pig’s blood and this ENRAGES HIM

Betty and Jughead appear to be strolling home together through a graveyard, because Betty and Jughead

Jughead is so coded as an outsider that I’m afraid for his peace of mind once he relocates to his southside pied-à-terre and feels like he’s among kith and kin. the multiverse indeed

there have never been two people more devoted to touching each other’s faces, with the possible exception of Bella and Edward in Dan Bergstein’s Blogging Twilight, than Betty and Jughead. their heaven would be a night at the Ritz-Carlton by Central Park, eating three-egg omelettes and scrubbing each other with Lush face masks. Betty is Rosy Cheeks, Jughead is Cup o’ Coffee

Betty doesn’t let Jughead “Sure babe” his way out of resolving their conversation

plus then he gazes at her like she is the only source of light in his life

Veronica was rich: Hiram Lodge is partial to black orchids? did Hermione get it from the Blossoms’ ORCHID ROOM?

These students are legally children: “Sure, mom, I’ll just sexually manipulate Archie into doing my bidding.” “As long as you’re in control.” WHOA!

Hermione, to be clear, as gone full dark side, while not bitterly sanctioning suicide in front of her emotionally shattered daughter but in a fallen-1%, Madame du Barry sort of way

I like how the show is setting up Hiram Lodge as a scary cloak of paternal/paternalistic/patriarchal malevolence, wherein at the beginning of the series Hermione was at least fronting to distance herself from Hiram’s name and influence and history, and now that he’s “coming back,” she is getting ready for his return left and right through her turning away from Town Upright Fred Andrews, her business loyalties, her aesthetic choices, and her hypothetical manipulation of, of all people, Archie

Betty could run the Iditarod in that trench coat

my man LEE TOLAND KRIEGER coming in with Alice Cooper and the reflection of Alice Cooper flanking Betty while they fight in the kitchen!

“It’s so hard, Mommy. Pretending every—” “I. Don’t. Care.” there has never BEEN a daytime soap, Lifetime Original, Ryan Murphy production, or Sharon Stone exploitation period piece as GOOD as the scenes between Cheryl and Penelope

Cheryl is wearing this drapey see-through black lingerie robe while she dashes around her haunted mansion like sexy Bertha Antoinetta Mason

Mädchen Amick, MÄDCHEN AMICK: you know shit is about to get a confessional when Alice walks into Betty’s room with no eye makeup on and a cardigan that covers her hands

“I have a secret brother out there in the world.” for half a second, I was terrified, in a fabulous lurid way, that the secret brother was Jughead, because I would not put that past Riverdale, before, you know, he’s gotta be like ten years older than Betty

but I mean, he’s got to be FP’s child. right? like—RIGHT?

Fifth period is AP English: “Positively Dickensian.” does Archie know Dickens? surely he knows CHARLES DICKENS

“A blond Adonis, no doubt.” or a sloe-eyed greaser with a DEEP VOICE and Alice’s cheekbones???

WITNESS ME: it is at this point, 21 minutes in, that Ep. 13 starts moving at 10,000 mph

“GO TO THE DARK SIDE”!!!!! like Southside High is MOS EISLEY

the music in the background picking up like some shit is about to happen, like they’re about to BREAK HIM OUT OF PRISON!!!!

What damn high school in America: our boy LEE TOLAND KRIEGER INDEED had Archie, Betty, and Veronica do the Breakfast Club hallway slide, because—BECAUSE WHY NOT! why not just LEAVE SCHOOL to go to a different school to get your friend out of school!

Veronica is in like a black sable stole, because SHE IS!

it is impossible to see what book Jughead is reading, and this haunts me!

Gay.: this is our first viewing of SOUTHSIDE TEEN, taking one of Jughead’s fries, wearing a very conservative white tee and blue jean jacket with a simple side part/2-setting shave down haircut!

honestly Southside High looks fantastic for Jughead in the sense that everyone is wearing a flannel and everyone’s hair is rebelliously long or styled archaically

Cheryl’s sheaths: local hero LEE TOLAND KRIEGER has those white-cold sunbeams coming down over the back of Cheryl’s Gothic grand duchess bed as she lays out her Jason dress!

“Where would he be?” “...cafeteria.”

if you look, there is literally just a female Jughead sitting on the table to Jughead’s right, she’s in black skinny jeans, black Chuck hightops, a DARK BLUE JEAN JACKET WITH A FLEECE COLLAR, and a soft stretchy beanie! she is right, like, hit me up! I cook!

it’s been one afternoon and already Jughead has more friends at Southside High than he had the entirety of his life in the northside school system

Betty, Archie, and Veronica just reaching the table with Jughead surrounded by ne’er-do-wells about to beat him up but it turns out Jughead is merely the beloved communal focal point IS the scene in Guy Ritchie’s Sherlock Holmes when Jude Law’s Watson shows up at the prison and makes his way through the circle of Victorian roughs about to massacre Robert Downey, Jr., just as Holmes delivers the punchline to a ribald joke to the delight of the motley ruffians and it turns out he’s basically their king

Jughead is technically like Serpent royalty, so it makes sense all these Slytherins would at least make the gesture to seek him out and adore him

awww, Betty Cooper embodying the north side, Jughead embodying the south side, hugging each other, nothing shall tear them asunder, YET

Jughead says something to make her laugh while Archie and Veronica look on

it might not be a stole. it might be the collar of her jacket. is that her Homecoming jacket? I wouldn’t put it past her to have a black sable stole

Veronica getting Cheryl’s text and being like, “We have to go!” is literally the third or fourth time THIS EPISODE someone has been like, “WE HAVE TO GO!”

I could not believe we were actually getting a scene with these guys running through THE FOREST to stop CHERYL BLOSSOM from KILLING HERSELF—just—pause to reflect???

first there’s some sort of bonkers Titanic ice splintering under their feet

and Cheryl is beating her way through the ice with her hands and the power of grief? like—my god. Emily Brontë is like, He’s dead, girl, let it go

Summer + Blair = Veronica: Veronica is truly, as she has been in the past, embodying her true self, with is to reach out with her haughty, beautiful, self-aware, compulsive love and connect with everyone she sees: “WE’LL FIGURE THIS OUT TOGETHER OKAY.”

Cheryl is of course in her all-white mourning dress, her hair down, her spidery mascara, her lips turning purple, bathed in the BLUE FILTER OF HORROR as she sinks into the ice, the ice claims her like the blood sacrifice it demands each year to keep the maple syrup flowing

Archie barrels across the frozen river like a ginger Balto

pretty sick underwater shot looking up at Archie from below the ice!!!!

remember when Veronica told him to be careful with that hand, that his hand was going to be worth millions someday and he needed to be gentle with it during football or he couldn’t play guitar, and now he’s punching through a frozen river? ARCHIE?

the Blossom corpse: okay…..okay…..Cheryl seeing Jason’s corpse reach out to take her like Frodo being dragged underwater by the ghosts of the soldiers claimed by the Dead Marshes

the bloody juice milkshake on top of the water as Archie finally beats his way through by the power of his ripped bod

Archie > Dawson: you know Archie knows CPR!!! how delicately he pinches Cheryl’s nose shut!

however cold Cheryl was upon being thrust into the winter air as Archie & the Gang brought her to A HOSPITAL was not half as cold as Hermione regarding her in front of the fireplace and saying, “What is she doing here?”

Betty starting to cry immediately after putting on mascara is real-life drama

Archie, bullheadedly warming up to perform with his hand in a cast after he saved someone’s life, doesn’t know the word “wistfully,” and I think this encapsulates everything great about Archie Andrews

again, again, AGAIN, I want to JUST POINT OUT that Veronica-noticing-Archie staring “longingly” at Betty-plus-Jughead and wondering if this meant Archie secretly liked Betty is a plot point that would have been stretched out over the course of at least one entire episode, if not the undercurrent of an entire relationship arc of a season, on a lesser teen show, AGAIN AGAIN AGAIN, but Riverdale does not have time! we have to get everyone to the scene where Reggie is threatening to run Principal Weatherbee through with an epee on top of Veronica’s apartment building by the end of the episode!

for the Jubilee performance, Melanie has a shiny white skirt and big hoop earrings, Valerie is in some sort of phenomenal Sgt. Pepper blazer, and Josie is in a studded bustier

the drinking game of listening to Mayor McCoy’s speeches for the phrase “my daughter Josie and her Pussycats”

Jughead and FP have what might be their healthiest, most productive conversation in years on either side of the prison bars

Archie, clearly having the time of his life performing his song, strumming his guitar with two fingers

GOD KNOWS JUGHEAD SHOWED UP WITH HIS JACKET OVER HIS SHOULDER TO HEAR HER SPEECH

some first grader is a big fan of Archie

it seems like Betty’s speech is a rerouted, condensed version of her “FP JONES INNOCENT” article imploring Riverdale to embrace its pain, rebirth itself, and get a new town motto

Jughead listening to Betty call him “the very soul of Riverdale” is probably the moment, you know, he was like, The trailer is empty...

oh Jesus he starts the slow clap

can you imagine being an everyday going-about-your-business Riverdale resident without a kid attending high school, only tangentially paying attention to the news, being like, Who is Veronica Lodge? Does Betty Cooper know Jughead? Why is he called Jughead? What?

Fred is damn right about Hermione being at a damn crossroads

Betty, who signed in pink, Veronica, who signed in purple, and Jughead, who signed in black with his crown, are the only signatures on Archie’s cast yet

Veronica and Archie appear to have chocolate milkshakes, while Betty got a vanilla, and Jughead has Betty’s usual strawberry, with her arm slung around his leg

I know you had forgotten about Penelope!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl’s a psychopath: there are no words in Elvish, Entish, or the tongues of men to describe the sight of Cheryl Blossom standing at the fireplace holding a candelabra with a tub of gasoline at the floor, (helpfully labeled “Gasoline”) in a white Super Sailor Moon dress, about to burn down her house

Jughead really did clean that shit up!

in the annals of sexy cinematic history, where Rear Window, Secretary, The Handmaiden, and the 2005 Pride & Prejudice all reside, there is a little shelf space saved for the shot of Jughead, out of focus, pulling his hat off behind Betty’s back and throwing it onto the couch

there were only five minutes left in the whole episode when the heavy percussion started and Jughead LIFTS Betty off the ground by her waist. YOU KNOW!!! SOME PEOPLE ARE ABOUT TO GET LAID!!!!

Veronica and Archie slip into her apartment, her mother is passed out on tranquilizers. THEY’RE REALLY DOING IT THIS TIME, THIS TIME I’M NOT DELUSIONAL

Veronica truly did make a Prince Valiant reference

you know I loved Veronica’s beautiful tiny stockinged feet coming off the ground!

the little shot of Veronica exploring Archie’s chest in the dark, by silhouette, whispering to him, was all I really needed from a sexy Riverdale scene, you know? I was sated. all the happy couples were making out and heading for great things, their first happy nights in so long. like, “We’ve had this date with each other,” etc., everything is finally good. I thought that was THE END. I thought that was the end! I WAS ALREADY HAPPY. I DIDN’T KNOW WE WOULD GET JUGHEAD SLAMMING BETTY INTO THE KITCHEN CABINET. I DIDN’T KNOW!!!!!

only, ONLY Betty and Jughead, even with all that chest exposed between the two of them, they still go for each other’s faces, in, dare I say, a clever reprisal of Archie’s mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, kissing like they want to consume each other

it really has to be seen to be believed, how up in there Jughead is between Betty’s legs, the dimple of his back muscles while he’s kissing her like he’s going to push her through the wall

NO ONE EXPECTED Jughead to hold his hand to the side of Betty’s neck and go down to like BITE her collarbone ONSCREEN, what, like, what the fuck, who blocked this? YOU, LEE TOLAND KRIEGER? A MASTERPIECE

Jughead eats: he brought her to the kitchen. “The cafeteria.” he was planning on eating

poor things Betty and Jughead conditioned to assume it’s Alice Cooper interrupting their heavy petting

Jughead’s hair twanging around his forehead cracks me up

I’ve seen Brick like thirty times: TIME Person of the Year LEE TOLAND KRIEGER giving us one last rack focus of the line of lights on top of the trailer, dripping with rain, what else could possible happen in the last two minutes of this episode??? stay tuned bitches!!!

Gay?!: Jughead Devotee Southside Teen is back! WITH SCRAGGLY CANON SHEEPDOG HOT DOG. Jughead is like…...hi…...

mangy gruff Serpent daddy has a nose ring, which is always cool

Best costume bit: though it looks like various interviews has RAS saying otherwise, I didn’t read Jughead putting the Serpent jacket on as an unambiguous, wholehearted, instantaneous joining and acceptance of the Serpents on Jughead’s part, for me it was more a mix of A) a thank-you B) “Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad” C) a “trying on” of what it might feel like to maybe live this life D) indulging in a moment of being sought out, validated as a member of a community (complicated! because Betty just called him the soul of Riverdale!) F) Cady slowly realizing she’s the new Queen Bee E) a bomb-ass jacket

of course we know Jughead must be incredibly important to the Serpents, whether he knows it or not, so is this them coming to him and being like, The king is dead, long live the king!, or is he a sideways, sometimes-Serpent, or does he even have to “BE” a “Serpent” for them to still take him a bit under wing and protect him—from whom?—while FP is gone? did FP tell them to leave him alone, what was understood, what was ordered, WHAT IS JUGHEAD? what are any of us? who am I? aren’t we all just going to die? (write this fic for me)

the point is that Jughead looks REAL good shrugging the leather jacket on

Fwoopy hair is the best hair: in the silence, in the rain, and the curl of his bangs on his forehead, YYEEEEESSSSSSSS

with a BOOM shot of the Dark Mark taut on his shoulders, like in the fourth episode when FP walked into frame

Sixth period is Intro to Film: Betty’s “Juggie” from behind the door, and he looks back at her? Godfather reference #2

I KNOW YOU FORGOT CHERYL WAS BURNING DOWN THORNHILL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cheryl’s hair: all of Jughead’s surprise sexual dexterity aside, the greatest moment is the slow-motion shot of Cheryl and Penelope. Cheryl is staring at her work, entranced, okay, having finally been able to take irreversible action to cleanse herself, but Penelope behind her is, understandably, going berserk, and repeat Nobel Laureate LEE TOLAND KRIEGER has her lash out to strike Cheryl, but she’s one step too far back, and there’s an explosion of Cheryl’s hair over her shoulder and it’s got to be one of the most beautiful things ever to be on television

of course Veronica slept in Archie’s dress shirt

the female gaze: Archie’s back is always, always worth it

“Damn good coffee”: oh, he’s so happy in the bathroom mirror

WITH LITERALLY THIRTY SECONDS LEFT IN THE EPISODE, THERE IS AN ARMED ROBBERY OF THE DINER

who would rob Pop’s? is this a hit on Fred Andrews? DID SOMEONE ORDER A HIT ON FRED? JUGHEAD SAID IT WAS “ANYTHING BUT RANDOM,” WHO WOULD KILL FRED ANDREWS????

are you going to sit there and tell me fucking Riverdale hired Luke fucking Perry and then it KILLED OFF LUKE FUCKING PERRY? when the fucking blue neon “RIVERDALE” came up after that, I lost my SHIT. FUCKING RIVERDALE LIKE JESUS CHRIST

next season: full-time student Veronica Lodge finds herself in the midst of a viciously civil power struggle with her father, freed felon Hiram Lodge, over ownership of Andrews Construction, the Pembrooke apartment, half of the town, and the love of her mother. while investigating the true extent of her best friend’s father’s illegal activities for her next exposé, Betty Cooper starts receiving death threats, political pressure to “let the story go,” and mysterious late-night voicemail tips concerning the business dealings of her gangster boyfriend which “might be interesting” to her should she choose to “look closer,” all of which she documents and files in alphabetical order in a fireproof safe beneath her bed (the tips are from her secret brother). Archie Andrews, who is now Batman, must hunt down the masked bandit who killed his father, helped by his best friend Jughead Jones, who, unbeknownst to Archie, has taken his father’s place as the leader of the biggest criminal empire in Riverdale and masterminded a coup for control of the Canadian heroin cartel in Clifford Blossom’s absence to buy Betty as many structured jackets as her heart desires (write this fic for me)

[gossipnetwork-blog]

March of the Juggalos: Inside the Faygo-Soaked D.C. Protest

New Post has been published on http://gossip.network/march-of-the-juggalos-inside-the-faygo-soaked-d-c-protest/

March of the Juggalos: Inside the Faygo-Soaked D.C. Protest

Without Insane Clown Posse and their fan base, the Juggalos, Moon Brown would probably be dead. So a 16-hour bus ride from Detroit wasn’t going to stop Brown from seeing ICP for the first time at Saturday’s Juggalo March on Washington. Brown, 25, wearing a brown felt hat, black pants held up by a Grateful Dead belt and shirtless with a black leather vest, came to D.C. on Friday with a few bucks in his pocket, and he slept the night before the march behind the Lincoln Memorial. Carrying an aqua knapsack that he’s had since his days hitchhiking across America, he wanted to be only a few steps away from the stage for the event, excited about the prospect of seeing so many others who are like him.

Brown is skin and bones, with his black, white and red face paint that he had applied a day before beginning to wear off. With a wild brown beard, locks of long, wispy hair and a green half-crescent moon tattooed on the middle of his forehead, Brown, whose name is a pseudonym, has never been big on going to ICP shows or attending a Gathering of the Juggalos, the subculture’s annual music festival. But he credits the horrorcore rap duo of Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope, and Juggalos in general, for a support system that eluded him – and had him contemplating taking his own life a decade earlier.

“ICP built a family for those who didn’t have one,” Brown says. “Maybe they didn’t realize what they were doing, but they did something great, and I have the appreciation and love for that.” He adds: “If they’re going to call us out to be at the March, then I owe them.”

This feels different than your regular ICP show or Gathering. Sure, about 1,500 people are passing around liters of Faygo, smoking cigarettes like they’re going out of style, and yelling their fraternal call – “Whoop! Whoop!” – at anyone who passes by. Men walk around in Jason and lucha libre wrestling masks, women are in schoolgirl outfits and toddlers are in face-paint and ICP T-shirts. It attracts all ages, from the older man in the wheelchair to the little girl with curly brown hair holding a face-painted doll’s head on a stick. But Gatherings don’t happen at the National Mall, and they certainly don’t have the political feeling this one does. You see signs of the day: “Juggalo Lives Matter.” “Don’t Shoot/I’m Just a Music Fan With a Really Big Family.” “FBI: Foolish Bunch of Inbreds.” “The FBI Listens to Nickelback.”

Since 2011, the Juggalos have been branded by the FBI’s National Gang Threat Assessment as “a loosely-organized hybrid gang” in four states – Arizona, California, Pennsylvania and Utah. The report, which was collected from data submitted by state and local law enforcement agencies nationwide, recognized that subsets exhibited “gang-like behavior and engage in criminal activity and violence” in at least 21 states. In 2014, ICP, represented by the American Civil Liberties Union, sued the FBI. Though the initial suit was dismissed for lacking “legal standing,” an appeals court reinstated the case in 2015, on the basis that the gang designation has brought significant harm to Juggalos. (Oral arguments on the appeal are set to begin October 11th.) “You might not give a fuck about ICP, but how are you not going to give a fuck about the situation that’s going on?” Shaggy says.

Whether you sip the Faygo or remember ridiculing the kid in high school who wanted to wear a Hatchetman shirt, one thing about this case has united people: The move to designate ICP’s fan base as a gang is unprecedented. Never before has the U.S. government targeted a fan base of an artist or music genre, and labeled anyone associated with it, as part of an organized gang. Though the Juggalos were not specifically named in the FBI’s 2013 or 2015 National Gang Reports, the gang label is the stain they can’t remove. That’s why they’re marching.

“You now have people examining the issue and understanding how wrong it was,” says Steve Miller, author of Juggalo: Insane Clown Posse and the World They Made, on the gang classification. “That was the problem before – you didn’t have people seriously taking a look at this as a true First Amendment legal issue.”

Antifa members join Juggalos in their march. Rosie Cohe

Off in the distance is the Mother of All Rallies, a relatively small demonstration in support of President Donald Trump. Despite the online clamoring for the face-painted Juggalos to confront and pummel the crowd, the gathering’s focus is civil, focused and disciplined. Antifa make their presence known in case there is a problem with the pro-Trumpers, but they remain off to the side, not impeding on the Juggalos or the event. Most Juggalos tell me that this day isn’t about the red hat-wearing assholes over there. It’s about them. It’s about their rights. It’s about the future of an American subculture that, in their eyes, has been unfairly labeled by the federal government and affected their lives for the worse.

One by one, Juggalos of all kinds – military veterans, registered nurses, fast-food cooks, government employees – step up to tell their stories to this family of misfits and outcasts. Despite never receiving a negative work review, Jessica Bonometti says she was fired from her job as a Virginia probation officer last year for showing appreciation on Facebook for ICP. Because she saw an ICP show, Crystal Guerrero says she lost a custody battle for her two children in New Mexico, now only seeing them six hours a week. Ashley Vasquez recalls instances in which she was almost kicked out of the military for her tattoos and wearing clothes supporting ICP’s music.

“That’s the biggest misconception about people outside looking in, thinking that Juggalos are just a piece of shit, inbred, uneducated fuckheads, you know what I’m saying?” Shaggy tells me. “It’s the furthest from the truth.”

Talk to some Juggalos on this steamy September day at the nation’s capital and they’ll rattle off about every insult thrown at them for the last 20 years. Losers. Freaks. White trash. Rednecks. Meth addicts. Mistakes. Criminals. They’ve grown numb to the barbs, largely ignoring the constant ridicule that’s followed the marginalized fan-base. But one hurts more than any other: Gang member.

“What happened to us never happened to any band in the history of rock and roll that I know of,” J tells Rolling Stone. “Nothing like it.”

He adds: “You wanna call us something, call us a family, because a lot of us don’t have a family and all we’ve got is each other. This shit is real for us, man.”

ICP’s Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J visited Rolling Stone to discuss the march.

Like almost every Juggalo I spoke to about their life growing up, Brown’s childhood was pretty shitty. Living in the Florida panhandle, his drug-abusive parents caused Brown to run away from group homes and bounce around the foster care system in Pensacola until he was around nine. On the steps at the base of the Lincoln Memorial, Brown refers back to the time he had to pull a needle out of his mom’s arm, and how his dad sold crack and forced him to smoke weed when he was four. Time and time again, foster parents would take him in, only to make it clear they really didn’t want him and that they only took him to not separate him from his sister. The last pair of parents, he says, constantly punished him, forcing him to run away again when he was 12.

It was around this time that he found an MP3 player on a school bus. When he popped in headphones and hit play, he listened to a few songs from ICP. He was hooked. But even with his newfound love couldn’t shield him from what was happening at home. He says that shortly after his foster family dropped him off with his biological parents, he was left to fend for himself. Between the ages of 14 and 18, Brown was homeless, living on the streets. “Homeless at 14 is not a good way to be in Pensacola,” he tells me. During that time, he says he was taken in by a few different families of Juggalos in the area for stretches. When he was 15, Brown was told by a friend what he already knew deep down: He was a Juggalo.

“Meeting the Juggalos and hanging out with them, I saw how people had each other’s backs, just this blunt, honest attitude,” Brown tells me. “It was real. That gave me something to lean toward.”

Brown remembers the first ass-kicking he got for being a Juggalo. When he heard the “Whoop! Whoop!” call at a party, he instinctively responded with one of his own. But these 20-somethings he was partying with were instead talking trash about Juggalo culture. Quick to fight, Brown, then 15 or 16, says he was repeatedly kicked in the stomach, with the anti-Juggalo group furiously stomping on his head. By the time they were done with him, Brown left with a bloody nose, a ripped shirt and a reminder of how people simply enjoy picking on Juggalos.

A juggalo getting their face paint done on site. Rosie Cohe

“People don’t get us,” he tells me.

Brown’s journey to Washington hasn’t been without its setbacks. When he was 17, he says he was given nine months in a low-risk juvenile program for improper display of a firearm at school when he unknowingly had a gun in his backpack. And trouble would find him again. Not long after the firearm incident, Brown and a buddy would walk up and down Michigan Avenue in Montclair, what Brown calls the ghetto of Pensacola, in hope of selling drugs to the area’s residential junkies. When he was apprehended for resisting arrest after tripping a cop around 2011, police found a custom knife he found in a gutter in his waistband.

The possession of a concealed weapon charge got him 14 months in jail. When he was getting booked, he says police saw his tattoos and asked him if he was a Juggalo. He says he confirmed he was, and saw the official at the jail mark down that he was a gang member. Brown says he didn’t care about the label at the time and that he hasn’t let it impact him since then, but one thought has stayed on his mind: What the fuck?

Sitting inside a studio at the Rolling Stone office days before the Juggalo March, J and Shaggy say they knew a while ago they had to do something.

Initially, they joked that the FBI’s gang classification of their fan base was yet another reason why they proudly own the title of “most hated band in the world.” But the group’s outlook would take a sharp turn from glee to despair. When they’d hit the road for meet-and-greets and in-store signings across the country, they found that the FBI’s gang label had real-life consequences for Juggalos: Longer terms in jail for offenders. Parents losing kids in custody battles. People getting fired from their jobs. Potential recruits not being able to get into the military. And on and on.

Even with the increased attention on their cause, the duo say that it’s hard to do those meetups with fans nowadays, as the stories they keep hearing from loyal Juggalos affected by the gang label are heartbreaking. Yes, there are probably a few fans who are gang members, but, they argue, why isn’t that same flimsy standard of blanketing an entire group applied to people in gangs who like other artists?

“There’s fucking Bonnie Raitt fans that are in gangs,” J says.

While they downplay the effect the gang label has had on them and keep the focus on their fans, it has impacted their ability to earn, specifically from the venues that are skeptical of booking them because of the Juggalo designation.

“The more that spreads, the harder this shit is getting, and fuck, man, where does it end?” J says.

When reached by Rolling Stone for comment, the FBI reiterated to that the 2011 report was “compromised of information shared with the National Gang Intelligence Center and the FBI from law enforcement agencies around the country.”

“The FBI’s mission is to protect the American people and uphold the Constitution. We investigate activity which may constitute a federal crime or pose a threat to national security,” an FBI spokesperson said in a statement. “The FBI cannot initiate an investigation based on an individual’s exercise of their First Amendment rights.”

The duo knows that getting the FBI to rescind the label, or at least acknowledge the matter, is a pipe dream. Shaggy says he knows already that’ll never happen. That’s why ICP became the latest in a decorated history of political demonstrations in front of the Lincoln Memorial.

“Whether [the FBI] want to admit it or not,” Shaggy says, “they fucked up.”

By 3 p.m., the chanting, laughter and clouds of cigarette smoke have made this a full-blown party. This might not be a Gathering of the Juggalos, but it’s a celebration of the culture and the people who make it possible. There’s Richard and Stephanie Miller, a couple from New Castle, Delaware, that’s helped organize a Juggalo carpool system, coordinating rides for people from as far as California and Washington State. There’s Amanda Donihoo, whose husband, Scott, otherwise known as Scottie D., president of Faygoluvers.net, gives an impassioned speech of his life for the Juggalos that mentions how him and his wife, an IT professional and a registered nurse in the Dallas-Fort Worth Metroplex, respectively, reflect how the group is pigeonholed and criminalized because of the actions of a few.

“We are some of the most straight-laced people ever,” says Amanda Donihoo, 35. “But since we don’t always wear the attire you expect or perceive a Juggalo would wear, people don’t understand.”

Juggalo marchers in face paint holding a sign saying “Juggalo’s are a family not a gang. Those who think otherwise [middle finger]”. Rosie Cohe

ICP has no plans to make this an annual event, so the Juggalos are making the most out of the day.

Hannah Baxter drove seven hours from New York state to be at the March. Baxter, 27, has been to roughly 50 ICP shows and two Gatherings, but it’s hard for the former group-home kid to describe what she’s feeling while looking at the Lincoln Memorial Reflecting Pool.

“This is the first time we’re actually banding together as a family to show everybody that we’re not as bad as they think we are,” she says. “Just ’cause we like people that rap about something a little crazy, we’re normal people, too.”

By the time ICP take the stage around 5 p.m., the Juggalos are hanging on their every word. While they speak on stage, two Juggalettes yell at a guy with a camera wearing a backwards “Make America Great Again” hat, telling him he’d get his ass beat by a family of a thousand clowns if he didn’t leave now. He says, “Fuck you, bitch,” and flees. Aside from that, this moment is festive and positive.

“This is our day! This is our year! Are you ready?” J asks the jubilant Juggalos. “The Juggalo family and the Wicked Clowns will never die. Let’s march, motherfuckers!”

ICP is at the beginning of the procession, looking almost overwhelmed by the love of the unlikeliest of families. It’s from this love that they push forward to lift the Juggalos’ gang label.

“It’s scary because this ain’t a movie,” J tells me. “This ain’t something anybody’s been through. And you don’t know how this is going to end.”

Brown’s March starts, and ends, with him walking through the crowd, carrying his third clear trash bag of the day. In an effort to help turn around the perception some may hold toward Juggalos, Brown, who works with prototype car parts for Chevy and Ford back in Michigan, packed some garbage bags and vowed to clean up the trash left behind on the Mall. It’s his way of giving back to a subculture that’s given him so much. At the back end of the March around the outside of the Washington Monument, there isn’t a piece of trash that Brown doesn’t pick up. He’s in D.C. for the next few days before heading back to Michigan, unsure of what’s next or where he’ll spend the night. For now, he’s bottling up the energy and the positive feelings of the day the Juggalos took Washington, a day he met more extended members of his family.

“That was epic,” he tells me, flashing his biggest smile of the day. He then darts to every piece of trash in his path, saying to anyone who will listen at the tail of the March: “Throw your garbage away! Give me your trash!”

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