#but this one is a funny doggie!!!!!!

[diurnalcritters]

Day 626

[of-mutts-and-men]

THE ADS ARE TARGETING MEEEE

[dooblez]

thas his emotional support animal right there

[gadgetini]

rock afire animal jam stuff (the first one got declined)

[85-rend]

i wanted to put these ones together. for reasons.

also shrimp interaction :)

[katsurolle]

vashwoods and triguns and crossovers with other stuff i like..

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

THE TIME MY DOG WAS UNDER ACADEMIC PRESSURE.

GUESS WHO CHUGGED DOWN AN ENTIRE CAN OF (POMEGRENATE WINTER EDITION) RED BULL IN UNDER HALF AN HOUR? THIS GUY! IT DIDN'T TASTE LIKE CHERRY PISS SO MY BRAIN DIDN'T REGISTER IT AND I JUST SORTA DOWNED IT.

I'M NOW RUNNING ON CAFFEINE AT A QUARTER TO 4 AM AND SPITE FOR THE EDUCATION SYSTEM.

YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING INSANE EVEN MY DOGGY SISTER, ROXIE (A LOT OF Y'ALL KNOW HER, SHE'S CURRENTLY SULKING FOR FOOD) ISN'T SAFE FROM THE ACADEMIC PRESSURE.

SO, AS MOST OF Y'ALL KNOW, I DROPPED OUT OF DESIGN SCHOOL IN NOVEMBER BECAUSE OF BULLYING ETC. SO THEN THERE I WAS, BACK HOME, TAKING ROXIE DOWN FOR A WALK.

AND I LIVE IN AN APARTMENT. SO WHILE WE WERE GETTING TO THE GATE, THIS PINT-SIZED LIL KID COMES UP TO US. FULL SCHOOL GET UP, BUTTON DOWN, BACKPACK, TIE, BELT, THE WORKS. THE ONLY THING STANDING BETWEEN THIS MINIATURE VICTIM OF INDIAN EDUCATION AND A JOB IN IT AT INFOSYS IS TIME, LIKE THE GOOD OMENS BOOK SAID (KINDA).

IT'S AFTERNOON, SO CLEARLY HE'S BEEN DROPPED OFF AT THE GATE. BEAR IN MIND THIS GUY'S PROBABLY BARELY HIGHER THAN MY KNEE. AND YET I FEAR HIM. WHY? I DO NOT KNOW YET. BUT HE APPROACHES ROXIE AND GREETS HER.

THEN HE SAYS WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GO TO SCHOOL?

AH, FUCK, I THINK. HERE WE GO. THE APARTMENT NOSIES HAVE BEGUN TO WONDER WHY MY STUPID ASS IS BACK HOME. I SIGH AND SAY, WHO, ME? OUT OF INSTINCT.

AND THIS SHARE-PACK-LAYS-SIZED KID SAYS COOLLY, NO, ROXIE.

HAHA, I THINK, OKAY THAT'S FUNNY. SHE'S NOT, I SAY.

MINI-ENGINEER LOOKS AT ME, FILLED WITH POLITE CONFUSION. SHE DOESN'T GO TO SCHOOL?

I REALISE THIS KID MIGHT ACTUALLY BE SERIOUS. OKAY, CUTE. I REPLY, QUITE REASONABLY, THAT NO SHE DOESN'T.

HE NODS, UNDERSTANDING. SO SHE'S GOING TO START TODAY?

WHAT THE FUCK, I THINK BUT DON'T SAY.

AT THIS POINT, REALISING HE IS DEALING WITH SOMEONE OF INFERIOR INTELLECT TO HIM, THE MICROBE-AU OF STEVE JOBS EXPLAINS PATIENTLY TO ME:

THERE IS A DOG SCHOOL OPENED UP NEAR THE APARTMENT. HE IS GENUINELY CONCERNED FOR ROXIE'S EDUCATION. AND IF SHE HASN'T STARTED ALREADY, CLEARLY SHE MUST BE STARTING TODAY. OR SHE WILL BE BEHIND OTHER DOGS.

IT IS AT THIS POINT THAT I LAUGH AWKWARDLY, QUICKLY MUTTER TO ROXIE TO COME WITH ME IN FRENCH AND WE BOTH SKEDADDLE THE FUCK OUT OF THERE.

HELP THEY'RE TRYING TO GET THE DOGS INTO THE EDUCATION SYSTEM TOO IS NOTHING SACRED ROXIE MAY NOT FETCH BALLS BUT SHE CAN UNDERSTAND ENGLISH, TAMIL, TELUGU AND FRENCH, DOES MOST THINGS WITHOUT ANY TRAINING, CAN RECOGNISE MY MUM'S PHONE BUT NOT A STICK (IT'S FINE, SHE'S GEN ALPHA, IT HAPPENS) AND SHE WOULD ABSOLUTE ROT IN DOG SCHOOL.

BUT HOW WILL SHE MAKE IT IN THIS FAST PACED WORLD WITHOUT HER DOGGY DIPLOMA, HUH? HOW, MAGGOTS?

ONE REBLOG EQUALS ONE COLLEGE CREDIT FOR POOR ROXIE AND HER HOMESCHOOLING (THIS IS A JOKE DO NOT BLOW THIS POST UP I WILL REGRET IT SO MUCH DURING MY CAFFEINE CRASH DO NOT TOUCH THE REBLOG BUTTON)

[ghostydrawsstuff]

*Sam taking a deep breath*

Sam: Offender...........did you f*** my sister, Rosemary?

*Slenderman choking on his water*

So in short, nope he has not, will probably in the future unless something else crazy happens (Ramen perhaps).

Also Slendy choking with his non existent face lmao-

*gets tentacle slapped*

[daydadahlias]

John Dough

it's Crystal's @kindahoping4forever birthday and i love her :)

Summary: The one where Luke is an erotica writer pining after Calum the mailman but, also, the small-town baker is pretty hot too.

Word Count: 15,821

Pairing: Luke Hemmings/Ashton Irwin/Calum Hood

Rating: E

Content Warnings: puns

READ ON AO3

[weareuniqueandimportant]

YOU SHOULD JUST COMMIT SSSSCIDE... YOU'RE WORTHLESS... YOU VIEW US THIS WAY YOU'RE AN ABUSER A KILLER A MURDERER... TRULY... YOU WOULDN'T EVEN LISTEN TO US YOUR HANDS THEY'RE ON OUR THROAT... YOU'RE WORTHLESS AS RESULT... GO AHEAD... YOUR VALUE IS COMPLETE 0...

THIS POST IS ABOUT LESBIAN FOOD... NOTHING MATURE ABOUT THAT... I LOVE EATING SSSSIDE... THAT IS A TYPE OF FISH WE WOMAN TEND TO EAT TOGETHER... WHY DO THIS TO US 😢...

DAMN... I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS COMPLETELY SHADOWBANNED POST WAS CHECKED BY THE SITE... THAT'S CRAZY... WHO EVEN FOUND THIS...? OH WHATEVER... HA.

[gulliesforever]

jake and amir: favor is such a great episode. i literally forgot it. how could i. the stare amir does from outside ... jake saying "i'm so sorry he's like this please ill tell him to leave" like he's a dog. shit's hilarious

[arckiaym]

Y'all, whose fuckin dog is this?

Been seeing a lotta love for the npcs lately (which I love, tell me all about these silly guys) and I haven't seen anyone mention this dog

Why is it wearing a funny sweater? Someone had to make that for it, so it's someone's dog, clearly. Someone loves this dog enough to equip it with a funny sweater, but nobody mentions the dog!!!

And it's hanging out around the Boss Elevator of Death like it Knows Something and then it runs to the east to trick me specifically into thinking that's the right way to go. So then I die to ninja frogs for an hour because the puppy told me to do that and I am simply helpless to disobey.

Nobody mentions the dog in the fun picture book story times so Whose! Dog! Is! That!!

[crownofbegonias]

pls have some orel scribbles on this fine day

[melonthesprigatito]

Decided to binge watch the entirety of Pokémon Generations again because it's been a few years since I last saw it and uh

Is it just me or is it a lot more fucked up than I remember

[fitzfunnymoments]

Build a bear should make a Porygon plush. Because I said so <3

[meringuejellyfish]

ever since me and my mom rewatched infinitytrain book 4 my littlest brother (who was just hanging out playing his minecraft) cant help but be amused by the canadian sorrey. he says it every once in a while, to be a little funny.