#good omens mascot

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

twilight for the uninitiated

HEYLO BABYGIRLS, BITCHBOYS, AND BOYCOTTERS OF THE BINARY! It's your favourite (and I should hope only) Good Omens Mascot and Maggot Prince here. Yesterday (earlier today? idk I sleep in naps) way over on the maggots server some of y'all were insulting Twilight. Which I am 100% supportive of, but for Bildaddy's sake, you need to insult it CORRECTLY.

But should you have to hate-watch or hate-read it? Nah, you've got me. In middle school I got late to school because I was reading the books in the bathroom instead of getting ready. I'VE GOT YOU! Gonna mix up the book and movie for optimum enjoyment.

Dramatis Personae: Edward Cullen, aka Sparkles the Vampire. Bella Swan, aka Bella Sue. Jacob Black, aka Wolfy Eggfucker. Charlie Swan, aka Gunboy ACAB. And Dr Carlisle Cullen, aka Zaddy. @orpiknight taught me that word.

ALRIGHT! So Bella Sue's mum and dad are divorced and she lives with her mum. But her mum's like lmao fuck you when she gets a touring boyfriend and tosses Bella Sue to Forks, where it rains a lot, and where her dad Gunboy lives.

So Bella Sue grabs a cactus because that represents Arizona and hauls ass, and Gunboy makes awkward comments about her hair. Bonding! But then he gets her a pickup truck, which is wild-o.

First day of school and Bella Sue is very popular because Small Town and the boys are very tingly in the ballsacks if you catch my drift. Anna Kendrick asks her why she's white (YOU CAN'T JUST ASK PEOPLE WHY THEY'RE WHITE, KAREN!) and then promptly forgets she was in the movie.

INTRODUCING THE VAMPIRES! This is a vampire story, by the way. There's Himbo, Blonde Murderer, and they're dating/married. There's Bi Awakening and some constipated looking dude from the Confederate army, and they're dating/married (don't worry about it). There's Sparkles, of course, and they all walk into the cafeteria being Hot apparently. Sparkles stares at Bella Sue. This is to be a common theme.

Sparkles thinks Bella Sue stinks. No, like, literally, she stinks coz he wants to eat her and food smells etc. Bella Sue also has magic powers and Sparkles can't read her mind. He's like >:(=. Those are his fangs, btw. But then he goes away with his family to hunt animals and drink blood and comes back like :)=.

Bella Sue almost gets hit by a car but then Sparkles jumps in and pushes it away. He then gaslight gatekeeps girlbosses her, and googles adrenaline rush to explain it to her. AND GUESS WHO HEALS HER? IT'S SPARKLES'S DAD, AND MY ZADDY. He walks into the ER all blonde and gentle and competent. Oh and he's a vampire too and so is his wife but like his magic power is compassion and also he's learned to regulate himself around blood. And he's pretty. Zaddy.

He's so fucking pretty but then we have to go back to the Plot and some humans are being killed or whatever and Gunboy is takin' charge yo. Sparkles keep chasing after Bella Sue to tell her to stay away from him and finding her randomly to remind her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY and then he stalks her in the night and has dinner with her after saving her from a gang to tell her to ABSOLUTELY STAY AWAY. Also, he's like 110 years old. Whatever.

Oh and Sparkles breaks into her room to watch her sleep at night. It's super duper romantic. (No, trust me, once you see Wolfy in the later books, this will be super duper romantic). Then he takes her to abandoned clearings in woods to threaten to kill her and he tells her to SAY WHAT HE IS and she's like MOSQUITE LEECH VAMPIRE.

AND THEN HE SPARKLES! A LOT! And they go to the Cullens house and play baseball and Zaddy is looking absolutely lovely and welcomes them and even stands off some random vampires that show up. But one of them likey-likey's Bella Sue's blood.

Bella Sue is like lmao fuck you you're not a good dad to Gunboy to keep him safe or whatever and runs away with the Cullens to keep herself safe or whatever. Idk man Zaddy is just very pretty throughout.

And then there's a ballet place and Bella Sue goes there to get murdered coz she doesn't want to be a burden to the Cullens (homegirl never been so real). The Cullens get there and kill the vampire but then she's vampiring so Sparkles sucks the venom out and Zaddy heals her. Looking pretty. Blonde hair, golden eyes, etc.

And then Gunboy and Bella Sue's mum show up and she goes home and she's like SPARKLES TURN ME INTO A VAMPIRE TOO and he's like yo wtf no you'll be a monster (I think he's just pissed he sucked that venom out for nothing) and she's like SPARKLES PLEASE UWU and he's like UGH WE'LL SEE and they dance at prom but anyway there it ends. It should have ended with a shot of Zaddy but anyway.

*influence voice* Like and subscribe Like and reblog for a part II coz there are three more books/four more movies. Gotta get that education. Now I have the urge to make a youtube video. Garn. ANYWAY LOVE YOU ALL BYE MAGGOTS.

[falling-raine]

finally feel confident enough to post some of my art because of @weirdly-specific-but-ok post.

i hope you like it- ive never used watercolours but i wanted to try something new. thank you asmi for giving me the courage!

[helcor]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok More torture today? Why not.

[crowleys-hips]

Final Fifteen but it's ran through google translate a bunch of times

idk if anyone's posted this here yet but in case not, please watch this gem

[komorezuki]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok says we are his adoptive kidnappers parents but its more like we are the nanny Ashtoreth for our little antichrist prophet

[shoemakerobstetrician]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok If you ever think that anyone involved in the production of Good Omens is sane, they had one of the first previews of S2 open to the public in a cemetery:

It was very nice, if more than a bit weird. It’s a shame they didn’t show the episode with the cemetery scenes that night. They did have free booze and snacks 😁👻

[its-a-me-asmi]

*clears throat* (I typed throats by accident, let the record show that I have only one throat) (*little red riding hood wolf voice* all the better to deepthroat you with, my dear Crowley)

Good Omens fandom and maggots and those who are both, we have converted many to our cult fandom of this wonderful show. I should probably state here that I am on the shady sideblog of @weirdly-specific-but-ok, my main blog. Uh. Yes. Hi.

As Mascot of the fandom, I would like to congratulate you all on your efforts towards this worthy cause, and cheers to everyone who finds a post with a new good omens fan/someone who hasn't watched the show and instantly tags me so I can destroy the OP's sanity. Wahoo!

Now, one fan of this show, however, is in a certain river of Egypt. Who is this fan in denial? Well, many of you maggots know and love @random-doctor-on-the-internet, Ash, for those who've seen them on the server.

Now Ash here has made several beautiful fanarts of Crowley, quotes Good Omens more than I do, wears three lovely Good Omens pins, has a corner of their wall devoted to Good Omens, has engaged in many discussions of Good Omens, is a fan of Neil's work, and married the Good Omens Mascot (yours truly) ten times.

AND YET: THEY INSIST THEY ARE NOT A GOOD OMENS FAN.

They said they would admit to being a fan if I made a public apology for calling them Aziraphale-coded, when they believe they are more Beelzebub coded or Anathema coded.

Let the record state that I am doing no such thing. What I am pointing out is the fact that they agreed, essentially, that they are a good omens fan, the only thing keeping them from admitting it is whether or not I make the apology.

I'm simply presenting the facts to you, the People, about Ash's affair with Good Omens. Now. Is Ash a Good Omens fan?

@arkytiorlecter @howmanyholesinswisscheese @queermarzipan what do we think?

[tryan-a-bex]

The new Asmi fanfic is out!

And in case you missed the first one:

I hope you like them! (If you are in it and want me to change your part, please let me know, it’s not written in stone!)

@weirdly-specific-but-ok @howmanyholesinswisscheese @eybefioro @sounds-void-fishy @dandelionjedi @robinprinceofchaos @chaos-frog @zonzolik @apollos-dodgeball-target

(If anyone knows better links for Mox and The Cat please let me know! Thanks!)

[silvermoon617]

Since @weirdly-specific-but-ok has a fandom now, it’s time to drop the fanart. I made this 5 minutes ago. Sorry for the late 2hr anniversary.

[weirdly-specific-but-ok]

Uhm hello Mr. Mascot... I would just like to know the details of your kidnapping by the Good Omens fandom? And also was there ever a ransom?

OHOHO HELLO MAGGOT. THERE WAS NO RANSOM. I WAS ALONE AND NEW TO THE HELLSITE, AND HAD NO ONE WHO WOULD PAY THE RANSOM.

THE GOOD OMENS FANDOM KIDNAPPED ME AND THEN THEY BECAME MY NEW FAMILY. I LOVE THOSE CRAZY FUCKERS AND I WOULD KILL FOR THEM.

AS FOR THE DETAILS WELL... SOME OF IT IS ON MY PINNED POST? BUT ALSO IT WAS A HECK OF A LONG SAGA MAYBE I SHOULD MAKE A POST DESCRIBING IT FOR EVERYONE WHO WASN'T WITNESSING IT LIVE.

[stumblingoverchaos]

Being some recs for fics set after Good Omens S2

Tether Ginger_Cat, Words: 44,562 Aziraphale, Supreme Archangel of the Heavenly Host, is just minding his own business. Really. It's not like he's trying to get summoned to Earth during highly important archangelic duties. And Crowley's not trying to summon him, he swears, but somehow it still keeps happening... Now, if they could only figure out why?

We Can't Keep Meeting Like This Ginger_Cat, Words: 65,450 Once a year, Aziraphale and Crowley meet on Earth to discuss the development of the reincarnated Christ child. The problem is, they can't stop having sex instead.

What You Leave Behind (or, A.J. Crowley, Bookseller Extrodinaire) chubbytransboi, Words: 50,733 “Are you a bookseller too?” “Not even at gunpoint.” After The Promotion, Crowley finds himself as the proprietor of A.Z. Fell and Co. (Emphasis on the ‘Co.’) Or: new jobs, new friends, and new ways of healing. And a LOT of sticky notes.

of truth, of light, of good sideraclara, Words: 75,179 Crowley will save Earth alone if he has to.

Factory Settings Anonymous, Words: 106,998 Crowley gets reinstated as an angel.

and though i burn, how could i fall? (when i am lifted by every word you say to me) shadoweddepths, Words: 24,699 Five times Aziraphale and Crowley argue, and the one time they don't.

But You, My Dear, Are An Ocean megzseattle, Words: 76,895 After Aziraphale's defection, Crowley tries to figure out how to live life for himself.

don't let this darkness fool you mygalfriday (BrinneyFriday), Words: 23,887 Lurching to his feet, Crowley stumbles through his flat in the dark – tripping over empty whiskey bottles and clothes he’d stripped out of and never bothered to pick up again. Heart pounding, he throws open the door. And the bottom drops abruptly out from beneath him. It feels like falling all over again – except from so much higher up than he’d ever been the first time. This is worse. This is so much worse because it isn’t him. It’s Aziraphale.

Endless, Numbered contritecactite, Words: 48,244 Crowley knows where he's not wanted—or, rather, where he was wanted but didn't want to go and is now no longer wanted—so he takes off until he finds a place that doesn't matter. Yet. It starts to matter quite a bit just around the time that Muriel reaches out to him about a book in Aziraphale's old shop that doesn't seem to be acting quite right. A medium-burn sort-of fix-it told partially through Aziraphale's recent diary entries in which nothing terribly dramatic happens because they've had enough of that.

freshly disowned in some frozen devotion (no more alone or myself could i be) shadoweddepths, Words: 22,379 Aziraphale rejects the Metatron's offer and chooses Crowley instead. Crowley helps him through the aftermath.

mourning doves`` sleepyimpulse, Words: 22,686 “I’m sorry,” he registered himself saying between heaving sobs. “I’m so sorry, Crowley, I’m so sorry. Forgive me, please, please forgive me.” He hadn’t meant to say it like that, he knew the words were all wrong (he would never find the right ones). But the pain was coming at him in every direction and something, something had to give, and so he clung to Crowley like a life preserver. Crowley bent his body over Aziraphale’s and slowly, surely, pressed a kiss to his bloodied forehead. “I can’t,” he whispered, and Aziraphale went unconscious.

pieces of you blackeyedblonde, Words: 18,348 “Crowley,” Aziraphale whispers, hand mindlessly grappling for the golden clasp secured at his throat. “What have you done?” “What I’ve always wanted,” Crowley says flatly, clutching the baby close against his bare chest. “You made your choice, angel. And I made a few of my own.” “Whose,” Aziraphale starts to say, and then can’t speak for a moment while something visceral moves through him. “Whose child are they? Other than yours, I mean.” “Look at her for yourself,” Crowley says, drawing his dark wing up just enough that Aziraphale can gaze at the newborn without feathers blocking the lamplight glowing behind them. “You haven’t even been gone for a year—don’t tell me you suddenly can’t recognize one of your own.”

Touch my Tears with Your Lips IneffableDoll, Words: 27,217 The emptiness of Heaven is punishment itself, a torture for a very Earthly angel. He has no power. The Metatron lied to him. Crowley is somewhere else. Aziraphale is alone. When he eventually escapes back to Earth – where he belongs – Aziraphale and Crowley have a lot to work through, even after averting the Second Coming, a renewed attempt at taking away all they hold dear. They need to be gentle with each other’s fragile, fractured hearts and together, figure out how to love one another the way they’ve long wished to. A story of trauma, healing, and love. So, so much love.

Light the Corners of my Mind cyankelpie, Words: 25,897 Aziraphale, thirty-eighth order scrivener—at least, that's who they told him he was—wakes up from some perfectly normal memory loss to find a cryptic note written on his hand. The further he goes in his search for answers, the more questions he has. Will he ever learn why he was demoted to a desk job? Or how he'd managed to collect enough books to open a bookshop? Or why that familiar red-haired demon on Earth seems to be avoiding him?

Devotion, grace and other small miracles Chrissy22, Words: 4,343 Seven months after the events of Season 2, Crowley gets a phone call from a panicking Muriel.

journeys end in lovers' meeting terpsichorean, Words: 48,137 With the Second Coming averted and Aziraphale back on Earth, all Crowley wanted was a return to the way things used to be, before he confessed his feelings and kissed his best friend in what may be the most unsuccessful love confession of all time. In an effort to cheer an equally miserable Aziraphale, the two of them leave London to attend a murder mystery party in an old country estate. But things quickly go wrong and someone ends up dead. It's up to Aziraphale and Crowley to save the other guests from whatever dangers lurk within the manor. And maybe, Crowley will gather the courage to ask the one question he’s not sure he wants answered: why did Aziraphale come back?

nebula 231080 starklystar, Words: 33,710 Philosophers liked to pose the question, observation against perception: If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? Aziraphale would argue that sound was something witnessed, and Crowley would argue that if sound had to be witnessed, then why was virtue unwitnessed a nobler thing? But first, Crowley would point out that he himself had fallen, alone and without witness, and it had bloody fucking hurt.

I'm the treasure baby, I'm the prize stereobone, Words: 9,405 "Are you working for Mrs. Sandwich?" Nina asks. "No," Crowley says. "Well, yes. Well, define 'working'."

[jamiemaybeme]

following the example of @weirdly-specific-but-ok and hoping this will give me enough energy to last until tonight. (it's currently midday and i need to travel for another like 4 hours before getting home. and then socialise with people.) i'm not sure what else to do if this doesn't work

[madfangirlontheloose]

have a tshirt

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I LOVE THE SHIRT!!!!

[an-ace-on-the-case]

have a tshirt

Thank you! I will wear it forever.

[mindrottinglystupid]

My Stars

You, Maggots, are my stars,

You are the light guiding me through the dark nights

The constellations I study to distract myself from where I am

I love you more than I can ever express

You are the sand that keeps the ocean afloat,

Or the roots of a tree in a storm,

The gravity holding my universe together,

Every star, one of your homes

I love you more than the universe's lust for destruction

I thought of where I wanted to be,

And I thought of you

In our homes

In our stars

[shoemakerobstetrician]

@weirdly-specific-but-ok I just LOVE it when you reblog some innocent post from outside the mascot chaos - a compilation of pretty Aziraphale expressions perhaps - and suddenly the comments and reblogs are overrun with our specific brand of unhinged:

“blood viscosity threat”

“HEY MAGGOTS”

Various accusations of Sadism and cruelty

“I’m not the one that kidnapped you but goddamn am I enjoying it.”

*eats both popcorn and your hand*

“emotional support fruit”

With the original poster getting all these little snippets as notifications.

WTAF MUST THEY THINK?!😱😱😱