#but those who already know my divergence ; know im going to annoy you all here and there ♥

[angelicxlly]

{ LeBlanc's Tag Dump: }

• Beauty perishes in life but is immortal in art ;; LeBlanc IC • Truths & Roses have Thorns about them ;; LeBlanc Aesthetics • Persephone was mourning a Sea of Memories ;; LeBlanc Headcanons • Fragrant Petals between Grimoire Pages ;; LeBlanc Musings

[hotgirlstiles]

hotgirlstiles fic recs!!

VERY SPECIFIC REC: u know those fics where its alive hale family and theyre all a little older and stiles has the BIIIIGGEST cutest crush on derek hale except he isnt close w derek but he IS close w the entire hale family who is practically in love w him?? well boy do i have TWO fics for you…

only by entering the wolf’s den and the key!! these are probably the cutest and greatest fics to ever live.. also more recs under the cut cause i have been collecting them like gold

everything, everywhere (every day) is a pack vacation fic and IM SOOOOO OBSESSED WITH THIS SHEESH. dereks ablittke annoying but fucking hell its SO worth it 😭😭 my mom was listening to the song true loudly from the other room and it started playing during the confession scene and desr god it felt like a fucking movie bro

everything, everywhere (every day) is a pack vacation fic and IM SOOOOO OBSESSED WITH THIS SHEESH. dereks ablittke annoying but fucking hell its SO worth it 😭😭 my mom was listening to the song true loudly from the other room and it started playing during the confession scene and desr god it felt like a fucking movie bro

keep it together <3 sorry couldnt resist not putting it here i feel like i’ll always include this in every fic rec i have 💗 it’s my most favorite supernatural creature stiles fic to exist 🫶🫶🧸

california is a series and it has two works and i swear to god bro it’s the hottest fucking fic i have ever read. it’s pure smut though so don’t get mad at me 😭 its genuinely so hot and is everything i like..

all the roads that led to you OF COURSE A SWEET SWEET WONDERFUL DEREK CHARACTERIZATION POST S2 FIC <33333 yall already KNOWWWW how fucking obsessed i am w post s2 fics where the characterizations are just fucking CHEFS KISS! this is so so good (my bookmarked lines: “if i lose you, too, i’m not surviving it this time.” / he wishes he could turn 18 and suddenly wash his hands under the sea the way macbeth yearned to.)

it’s pack research ok this is a littke pwp that focused more on the plot but its soooo cute 😭 stiles decides to read werewolf erotica and its sooo silly.. the pack makes fun of him though and the author wrote it rly well .. this is just so goofy i loooorv it 🥰

things thicker than water 🥺🥺 okay y’all already know how much i love me some whump stiles and this author is a fucking GOLDMINE for whump stiles ESPECIALLY stiles claudia relationship! their fics r my fucking fave honestly theyre always on the forefront of my mind.. this one is of my faves especially <3

words alone !!! another one of my fav nogitsune fics 🥺 just fucking obsessed with their relationship in this one and how derek handles the whole situation. just obsessed with derek

unstable OKAY I POSTED THIS ALREADY BUT I JUST HAD TO SAY IT AGAIN. this is one of my fav fucking fics holy shit. stiles is psychotic and its just. really good. i love how the author handles it and how it affects stiles’ relationships and i especially love how derek reacts to it. i just fucking love this whole fic i lovelovelove this derek characterization it’s everything to me🥺

love so hard, it could rip my throat out All right.. another post s2 fic.. sorry i’m a little obsessed with these type of fics abd by that i mean post s2 and sterek a little unhealthy and hiding from everyone and finding solace in each other and derek isnt some weird asshole macho asshole.. hes just in love with stiles.. dear lord!

let’s get lost. really really REALLY good fic! its. kinda canon divergence from s3a and it just deals with stiles issues from the darkness and again. very amazing derek characterization. what do yall expect from me 🤷‍♀️

first son, last chance THIS IS SOOOOO GOOD it’s way way intense and violent especially in the last parts but its SO good. yall know how much i love me some bodyguard derek sooo 🥰🥰😘

a bro’s guide to surviving an assassination attempt. ANOTHER BODYGUARD DEREK 🥰🥰🥰 this one was reallyyyyy really nice and goofy and cute! my bookmarked lines: i’m going to need you to be a big, brave boy for me now, okay? / god. you have hometown hero written all over you.

“… all Derek wants to do is lock him away in a safe place and then tear LA apart piece by piece until his claws are sunk in Kate’s throat. It’s revenge for his pack, yes, but there’s something else there, now. Something Stiles shaped.”

destiny sucks. this might be my last rec since its getting too long 😭 but sheesh. this one. just love derek in this one. its post s3a and stiles dealing w the darkness & his spark yet again but how derek deals w/ his anxiety attacks is just so 🥺once read this while listening to this love by taylor swift and sobbed violently

through time and space is really reallyyyyy cute 🥺 derek gets time traveled to the past (he’s from the future where theyre older n rogether) and sees teenager stiles and is just. ahhhh its so so sweet and endearing i love this so much

ok i lied. the taming of the wolf! canon divergence where derek lives in the burnt hale house nd stiles befriends him.. heehee<3 its all so sweet and cute. one scene always stays w me it’s derek fighting and screams at stiles to run and stiles actually does because he knows derek trusts him to do it and knows that derek wouldnt want him to get hurt 🥺 its a really nice difference from the usual stiles scenes when derek says that and it was really sweet to me.. like it makes sense to me..

OK LAST ONE I PROMMY. the beginner’s guide to everyday magic. Ok. stiles gets pushed out of the pack BUT IN A WAY THAT MAKES TOOOOTAL SENSE! yall know i wouldnt give yall a pushed out of pack that doesnt make any sense! this shit was toooo good! stiles moves to the countryside and its just SO good. really warm and good

OK LAST ONE AGAIN. all your problems are distractions. ok this doesnr focus on sterek much because it’s post s3a where scott is being his usual adorable self who just wants to help allison & stiles but it kinda goes crazy 🥺 allison and stiles’ genders are changed and it’s basically a story on how they handle it. i am not immune to a really good and cute stallison fic okay!

WAIT WAIT OKAY LAST ONE LEGIT! traces by siand!!!!! one of the few siand fics i like LOL this is a deleted fic.. its post nogitsune and im soooo fucking in love w this it’s basically everything i want and need in a Post nogutsune fic!! ALSO THE DEREK IN THIS ONE IS SOOO FUCKING GOOD YALLLL i wish siand would go back to writing derek like this uts sooo fucking good 😭 def recommend!

wait okay this one FUCK i almost forgot! but thunderstorms and police lullabies. THIS THE FUCKING ONE UALLLLL!!!! fix it fic for before boyd dies .. oh gid man. just a really good fic for stiles healing and a wonderful pack. its seriously one of the fics i always reread its so so soothing and healing. kinda wish the sciles was a little better but its honestly so worth it..

ok that’s all ❤️❤️❤️ enjoy the fics .. 💗

[prisontoybox]

17, 19, 25 (shadow lord), 27, 29, 36, 37, 38, 39

//Oops that took a while phew, thank you <3

Munday Asks

17 "What was your first muse?"

I guess other than warrior cats and one other oc that werent necessarily mused, it'd be Dipper Pines (regular and most of his aus). I ended up really deep in the Gravity Falls Amino and I ended up in many of the rps defaulting to him for other friends and rpers til I became known for it to an extent gjfjdk. I did a couple other GF charcaters but mainly him in my friend groups.

19 "Do you have ship bias?"

I'll be honest I have no clue what this means. :v If its about writing a ship with someone and their muse, it mostly depends on chemestty and if I know the mun at least a little and if its fun to write. (Ex, I haven't written any real Monix even tho its cute despite having Fox talk to a few Monos here and discord, but have written thinlady with @/gecsha and already otp'd it. I also liked Sevix but wanted SK to want nothing to do with Six in even a friendly regard, but me and @/raincoatnightmare became friends when we were writing and it was funny and cute plus added further character into SK that I like (also now lordlady supremacy ty ty). Or in another fandom, the only character I've written with a canon relationship (or semi-canon? ig its vague?) was Hero from Omori and even then it seems weird to jump into a ship with someone I havent spoken to so it would probably be more prominent with an rper I've talked to before even if its still there with strangers)

25 "Do you play smut? Do you play it only with characters you’re shipping with, or are you open for “one night stands”?"

27 "Are you interested into poly relationships for your muse?"

Tbh Ive (embarrassedly and probably poorly) written it with one other person before in a certain circumstance I don't wanna get into here that ended not-so-well but I'm too nervous to write that kinda thing with others unless we were really comfortable writing that in private. It would always have to be shipping and he's only really shipped with one muse and you already admitted to asking this so I hope youre happy embarrassing me now hfksfkjfkd (also off like you said only adults like SL)

It never starts that way and yet so often ends up like that fhsksl. For SL he's already in a cute poly ship in a verse so I'll say yes to that. Lady Fox hasn't really been written into anything at all yet and I haven't even considered any ship even my beloved thinlady for her so we'll see gjjdls. For puppy ships with the kids again idk

29 "What are your thoughts on your muses' canon?"

Sweats in divergent characters Well Six is really cool and honestly a fun character to watch go through things, I really like her and her clever survival skills even if she's not the most kind in some situations cough cough. I could write a whole essay on why I love her little differences between the other characters in idle animations, cutscene reactions, and her ai actions in LN2. And seeing her in both comic series + those LN2 cutscenes/ai, I like how despite it all its obvious just still just a kid who also enjoys time with others.

RK is honestly my favorite of the protags, little dude is hard (to the) core. I still hate the canon ending 💔 /hj. His specific idle animations we get to see are also interesting in the fact thet theyre a little different from Six's (the only 2 kids at the time). Seeing his interactions with the Nomes (Hideaway), Six (cancelled comic), and reaction to the Flashlight Girl (Depths), it's also neat to see his little personality shine through. I got the feeling he was almost hesitant to escape but went through anyway, and saw it to the end (even if it was his own end) and with all the stepping on coal and glass, hitting every obstacle in the way and still standing up straight, and being resourceful of those around him, and I can respect him. Also he's the only one who's had a chapter I would be too scared to go through if I had the LN mindset so good on him 💔.

36. "Do you feel similar to your muse in any way?"

With Fox I really feel that casual but anxious at any time feeling, and already projected a lot of my anxieties about memory loss onto her. I also just like foxes. (Ive only spent money on game cosmetics 3 times and one was the LN1 fox mask, another was yesterday $10 on an almost useless fox plush on Sky: CotL fhdjsk but hey whats important is invisible to the eyes).

With SK I can feel the "listens to an echo chamber for emotions" sometimes, and holding onto things stubbornly. It's quite easy to write him as I don't like admitting certain things either and deny deny deny, but that makes SL a little harder to make him romance fbdksk.

With SL I do really feel that overprotectiveness and envy in some things, he might be waaay exaggerated ofc but it's there. Im also a big self blamer.

37 "Do you feel different from your muse in any way?"

With Fox I'm much more social, I do like hugs and physical touchs and talking even oversharing cough just look at this whole post whereas she'd very reserved and quiet about her feelings 99% of the time.

With SK I can't really find it in me to hold a grudge that well. I can think back and get annoyed that some teacher or other kid or family member did some bad thing to me in the past, or say "so-and-so hurt me yesterday", but I can't hold it as just hate for long and see it differently. There's very few people I'm having trouble forgiving and forgetting, and they'll never be allowed near my family if I can help it.

With SL I can't say I'm in a good position if I'm in charge. I can be a good right hand or lower ranking moniter/manager, but being the head is too much pressure and depressing. He seems to be doing just fine both on his own and with his wife and/or husband.

38 "What's the best inspiration for your muse?"

Mostly jokes and random ideas with my friends! Some of the best plots I've had personally were turning a romance/ship joke into angst for pain, or angst into romance as hurt/comfort. Ofc music also helps but this is the best!

39 "What's a song that reminds you of your muse?"

I have a whole playlist so let me think of some that only or mostly involve that character and their feelings.

Fox/Six- Again

SK- Cradles

SL- KING

[riskeith]

awwww i’m here now darling so you better feel amazing <33333

ok miss i see the subtle flex you just pulled on me, just say your team is op and go... :pp jk!! no but yeah if you’re stronger than the goddamn bosses it usually goes easily. can’t say i’ve seen those days in a while tho rip

YOU ARE MY BABY!!!!!! you could do a doodle for me and i’ll literally cry abt it until i die. ooooh that seems good tho??? especially ningguang and beidou... the ladies are making a comeback 🥴 i agree with you actually!! i’d love for chongyun to come back (so you can get his c6 mostly) and for selfish reasons i want razor to come back to... bc boy scouts. i really want the boy scouts... hope it happens soon tho 🥺

speaking of boy scouts i just got him.... xingqiu.. i felt so bad bc i know how much you want him... :( but i didn’t get any xiangling so. i lost successfully shskdhsk. also I WISH they had cross-server co-op more than ever at this moment bc then we could do our chongyun + xingqiu dates... 🥺

cluna you’re literally so cool! you work through them? help couldn’t be me. i get super annoyed and if it’s not working i’ll just let it go and write something else instead shskdhdksk. for instance, i was working on this fic two months ago and i got really far into it when i hit a writers block. so, its just been collecting dusts for months now. a couple days ago i accidentally stumbled upon it and realize the potential it had so i might pick it up sksjdkd. i was literally prepared to just let it rot like so many other fics i write. so yeah idk sometimes i just give up because it’s easier even if it hurts me bc i spent so much time writing them sjshdkdj. yikes.

right?? and when you write a fic that takes place during the day you can get inspired by the atmosphere outside!! and yes!! i have to study outside i can’t get anything done at home. i used to be able to do that when i was younger but now it feels sooo impossible. especially with online school and stuff. either i go to a library, cafe or school. although most of these are closed now so i have to book a room somewhere to study. do you have a specific area at home where you write or can you just sit down anywhere and study?

for sure!! if i had the space i’d absolutely consider buying more books. right now i just have them scattered around everywhere (even some in my makeup drawer shdjdh). do you have a bookshelf? 🥺 that’s so pretty...! what are some of your other favorites btw? oh grade school is basically class 1 to 9... so from 6 years old to 15? girl no worries i know how difficult it is to understand all of that. when my friends used to explain their countries school systems before i’d just sit like owl eyes.

THE ALBEDO FANART!!!!! during his quest i took sooo many screenshots god he’s just perfect. he’s such a gentle and sweet boy ughhhhh.... he’s been gone for 2 days and i already miss him. and xiao and aether are just... yeah... i love how everyone ships aether with the boys yet i don’t think i’ve ever seen lumine shipping fanart? let’s just say gay rights and leave it at that.

BEFORE I CLICKED ON THE LINK I HAD A FEELING IT WOULD BE THAT POST.... literally us!!!! don’t make one in america no worries!! idk why my acc was set to that lmao. i’ll make one in asia tonight and just hustle for a few weeks until i reach co-op (i think it was ar 15?) plus i really want aether so i’m kind of not so stressed about it tbh? god i’m actually so exciiiiiteeeeed...... 😭 you gotta promise you’ll help me with domains and bosses tho you’re gonna be at a much higher rank than me while i’ll just be a little nooby girl. 😭

thank you so much for the encouragement!!! ♥️

today i didn’t keep you waiting too long, hehe. i missed you too much. but you’re porobably asleep now though :( oh well, can’t wait to hear from you my love <333

hiya!! i’m still up bc i miscalculated the length of a fic chdjcnskjd and thought to check if you’d sent anything before i went to sleep!! made me v excited to see there was not only 1 but 2 asks from you hehe (also it’s 2am rn so apologies for any incoherence!!)

AHAHAH fjskdjskdn genuinely tho,,, i’m really happy with my team rn LOL. and noooo you’ll get there someday!! before your world level increases and you’re stuck being many levels below the bosses again fhdjdjkd it’s a cycle 😩

NFKSKDLAKS i wish i could manage even a doodle… drawing hair is literally my worst nightmare (along with drawing anything else tbh) and all the genshin charas have such complex layered hair ugh it’s like they don’t want me to even try. yass beiguang (idk if that’s their ship name) actual queens 👑. razor!!!! what a good boye. i love his idle animation so much, pls he deserves everything 🥺🥺 and you deserve to get the boy scouts!!! can’t wait for that day to come <33

AHHH!!!! no don’t feel bad i’m so happy for you omg… live out all my xingqiu-having dreams for me please 😩😩😩😩 our xingyun dates!!!! some day it’ll be a reality <333

DHJAJSHS nooooo fuck writer’s block 😤😤😤 but i hope you’re able to finish that fic now!! (vaguely, if you prefer) what’s it about? also i have plenty of fics/ideas just rotting too, but that’s usually bc i get caught up in a new idea which i like more ? i think? lmao so yeah i definitely do give up on my fics too omg wait do you have those fics where you’re like omg this concept is god tier i’m so big brained and then you write out a scene and then it’s like … wtf do i do with this now? HAHAHAH like my attention span is slowly too short to write any long af fics, i can’t stay dedicated or interested enough for that but a lot of the ideas i have have the potential to be those 300k 40 chapter slow burn etc etc so there are so many docs in my drive that are just. works with like 2-3 written scenes and an entirely fleshed out plan but i know i’ll never actually end up writing it bc of aforementioned factors lolllll. that’s another reason why i think about just releasing all my wips some day! so people can see all the ideas im unable to execute jfjsndns. do you [like] writing super long fics like that? i admire your tenacity if you do ahah

agreeeeeed <3 and oh i see!! i always feel like people who don’t study at home are so studious fjskdksk it gives off that kinda vibe for me 🤪 and i have a study! so i usually do most of my work there. sometimes tho when i get bored and if i’m not watching a lecture i’ll sit on my couch or on the floor and change things up a bit lolol

djxkkakdks omg don’t let your makeup ruin the books.. or is the makeup more important djskskks. i do have a bookshelf!! it has like… 6 levels? and it’s all full 😳😳 other faves are defs the hunger games (catching fire >>>>>>>>) and you know the others like percy jackson, divergent, the mortal instruments. oh and the maze runner!!!!!!! the prequel (? sequel???) is probably one of the recent books i’ve actually read, even tho that was like back in 2017 lmao. i liked the john green stuff too.. just a lot of the like. basic ones LMAO. hbu??

6-15??? damn that’s an interesting range djsksk i guess the closest for us would be primary school which covers ages 6-12!

albedo is legit SO prettt and for what. his hair, his eyes, his soft spoken manner. ugh 😩😩😩 and taking a bunch of screenshots is a big mood!! ooo i’ve seen some lumine ones but yeah def not a lot ! (i know there’s discourse surrounding that lmao) but yes gay rights 😤 wait that reminds me i saw the cutest razor pic the other day and saved it i’ll show you when i’m in a more awake state to attach the image fjdjnd

!!!!!! ours minds… actually connected 🧠

okay that sounds good!!! and yeah wtf why does co-op unlock so like late lol let us play together NOW 😤 and good luck with starting again!! and have fun with aether hehe we’ll be able to have both ours meet 🤪🤪 AND YES I PROMISE!!!! i’ll carry you until we’re both the same AR and we can suffer fighting bosses together <3 you can just sit back and watch me do all the work 🤪 i’m super excited too!!! 🤩🤩🤩 and thank you for doing thisss even tho i know you said you don’t mind but still!! 💗💘💝💕💓💗💞

no problem!!! i believe in you!!! ❤️❤️❤️

eagerly (but patiently) anticipating your response~ xo!

[pacifv]

HE MEGA RP PLOTTING SHEET / MEME.

First and foremost, recall that no one is perfect, we all have witnessed some plotting once which did not went too well, be it because of us or our partner. So here have this, which may help for future plotting. It’s a lot! Yes, but perhaps give your partners some insight? Anyway BOLD what fully applies, italicize if only somewhat.

Mun Name: Mik      Age: 26      Contact: IM, discord

Character(s) I rp: Eden ( in bleach ) -- I have other ocs but that’s another story Which muse(s) inspires you the most atm?(for MM): Eden... ? Current Fandom(s): Bleach , so far Fandom(s) you have an AU for:  more fantasy esque ones?  My language(s): spanish , english  Themes I’m interested in for rp:   Fantasy / Science fiction / Horror / Western / Romance / Thriller / Mystery / Dystopia / Adventure / Modern / Erotic / Crime / Mythology / Classic / History / Renaissance / Medieval / Ancient / War / Family / Politics / Religion / School / Adulthood / Childhood / Apocalyptic / Gods / Sport / Music / Science / Fights / Angst / Smut / Drama / etc. Themes/Genres you have an AU for: fantasy , religious

Preferred Thread length: one-liner / 1 para / 2 para / 3+ / novella. Asks can be send by: Mutuals / Non-Mutuals / Personals / Anons. Can Asks be continued?:   YES / NO   only by Mutuals?:  YES / NO. Preferred thread type: crack / casual nothing too deep / serious / deep as heck. Is realism / research important for you in certain themes?:   YES / NO. Are you atm open for new plots?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Do you handle your draft / ask - count well?:  YES / NO / SOMEWHAT. How long do you usually take to reply?:  24h / 1 week / 2 weeks / 3+ / months / years. I’m okay with interacting: original characters / a relative of my character (an oc) / duplicates / my fandom / crossovers / multi-muses / self-inserts / people with no AU verse for my fandom / canon-divergent portrayals / au-versions (as main or only verse). Do you post more ic or occ?:  IC / OOC. Are you selective with following others?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS.  

Best ways to approach you for rp/plotting:  IM since this is pretty much new . just slap me with that and if you have some ideas , better --- if not let just brainstorm with what we have in hand . 

What expectations do you hold towards your plotting partner:  some minimal idea of the context and eden’s character . some ideas if possible . more than often I have gotten people straight up jump with no clue of what even is going on in my side character wise . 

When you notice the plotting is rather one-sided, what do you do?:  depends , most likely really stop trying or let it sink . I’m not much of a person who would pressure for ideas when they don’t even come naturally for me in these kind of situations . 

How do you usually plot with others, do you give input or leave most work towards your partner?:  First of all , ask what they particularly want and if they read the bio . and of course , have their bio as well ( if oc or any relevant hc on vague canons ) . I am honestly a bit shy on the input but if I found a ground to start letting my imagination loose ( like , something in common between characters or something that clicks well with my muse ) I can suggest several things . but in any case , I’m pretty passive and it’s a lot of gives and takes . 

When a partner drops the thread, do you wish to know?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS. - And why?: depends on the thread , the time and the interest . things that go downtown in the excitement scale are :/  and I can’t blame anyone for dropping a thread . not all the time you will have muse for them , tho , if it was a relevant thread I would ask at least . - What should your partner do when dropping a thread?:  pretty much free to tell me or not . I’m no one to judge.

What could possibly lead you to drop a thread?:  losing muse , interest , time ... pretty much the same . feeling like my muse is going too OOC for the sake of the other muse or smth .  - Will you tell your partner?:   YES / NO / DEPENDS.

Is communication in the rpc important to you?   YES / NO. - And why?:  I am very old school and having some OOC interaction to at least know how things are going , it’s as much as I can ask here .  - Are you okay with absolute honesty, even if it may means hearing something negative about you and/or portrayal?:  I mean , I should . it can turn me off a bit but it’s just natural ? there’s no way something can be perfect or be of someone’s taste . plus I am not that smart to be fully aware of all the things around the motif and IRL information I use on my muse . I’m no book , buddy. - Do you think you can handle such situation in a mature way?  YES / NO.

Why do you rp again, is there a goal?:  development , exploring the muse , seeing what works and doesn’t work . often new blogs for me are basically prototypes , they are and will  most likely have minor or major modifications as my imagination starts working and getting excited . besides , in the basics , you can hardly manage to cover all ( if anything ) of how one’s muse would react to X situation .

Wishlist, be it plots or scenarios:  a lot of quincy lore , come up with more personal connections with other quincies , fully develop a backstory and a post war scenario . cultural exploration  --- relationships of all kinds . 

Themes I won’t ever rp / explore:  pretty much I am fine with anything as long as we don’t cross the gross line . but I’m not afraid of the dark .

What Type of Starters do you prefer / dislike, can’t work with?: absurdly basic and with no context given . not even have an idea of what is the deal between muses . I can squeeze my brain but there is as much as i can do with little information .

What type of characters catch your interest the most?:  quirky ones , conflictive ones , most likely muses with specific motifs that spark my interest -- deepness . Aesthetically interesting ones . but overall , those who have out of the normal personalities . 

What type of characters catch your interest the least?:  personalities that doesn’t work or do not harmonize with the context of their characters . that’s all I can say .

What are your strong aspects as rp partner?:  I am.... creative ? gdi I did this meme already but it’s hard to reply these two ones. I am easily excitable . if we end up in a ship , expect me to be pampering af . I really enjoy the exploration of relations between people , emotions and psychological stuff tied around it . I do like casual and also very deep things . I’m not afraid of dealing with heavy topics . I like horror ???? also I am very into the secondary character role , as in : my muse is here to help your muse to grow or insight . that stuff . not much of a protagonist role in RPs. 

What are your weak aspects as rp partner?: I’m .... very.... sporadic . My mood is annoying esp when I’m “new” blog around kind of thing . I’m shy , even if I don’t seem so --- I get pretty anxious over details . I am impatient --- with myself . I want to do so many things at the same time I end up overwhelmed . 

Do you rp smut?:  YES / NO. Do you prefer to go into detail?:  YES / NO / DEPENDS. Are you okay with black curtain?:  YES / NO. - When do you rp smut? More out of fun or character development?:  mmmmmmmmm , both. Depends on mood and context tbh . - Anything you would not want to rp there?:  nothing I can think from the top of my head.

Are ships important to you?:   YES / NO. Would you say your blog is ship-focused?:   YES / NO. Do you use read more?:  YES / NO / SOMETIMES. Are you: Multi-Ship / Single-Ship / Dual-Ship  —  Multiverse / Singleverse. - What do you love to explore the most in your ships?:  again , I’m big mood for interpersonal relationships ( romantic or not ) , the pros and cos of certain traits , ideology clash , personality clash , anything that comes in a relation that could make it come and go .  - What is your smut tag?: unholy.

Are you okay with pre-established relationships?: YES / NO. - And what kind of ones?: all are hella okay for me . pre- est is my jam bc jesus christ the awkward first encounters make me go blue screen .

► SECTION ABOUT YOUR MUSE.

- What could possibly make your Muse interesting towards others, why should they rp with this particular character of yours now, what possible plots do they offer?:  the fact she is basically a “religious fanatic” , with a quirky personality and a questionable morality , considering she has an inner conflict between the wellness of her race and her loyalty towards yhwach . At least pre war . post war , she has a flipped personality were she is mostly bitter and more angsty but will go from fanatic to straight up hater . 

- With what type of Muses do you usually struggle to rp with?:   bland personalities ? not sure myself , Eden is pretty much ready for anything since her personality is pretty laid back . I guess I would say shinigamis in general --- since she basically is stuck inside Silbern . - With what type of Muses do they usually work well with?:  Quincies , ofc . and people who are willing to put up with her crap .

- What interests your Muse(s) in general:  the prosperity of the quincy , doing a proper duty , order , tea , annoying the fuck out of people . being eerie ....  - What do they desire, is their goal?:  the ideal world as thought by Yhwach --- later on simply for her kind to survive after losing the war and being left to their luck . - What catches their interest first when meeting someone new?:  mmm , appearance  and reactions to her witty or narcisistic comments .  - What do they value in a person?:    loyalty , uniqueness . - What themes do they like talking about?:  most likely about the order of the army , tea stuff , herself (?) , but she is also a lot for debates and insight . - Which themes bore them?:  rebellious , silly thoughts . justice related topics . anything that critics her loyalty/life style . 

- Did they ever went through something traumatic?:  the first war was enough ? most likely losing comrades --- yhwach sacrificing the quincy for power later on .  - What could possibly trigger them?:  the simple sight of anyone laying a finger of the quincy for being against their views .   - What could set them off, enrage them?:  nothing. she cannot literally , physically get angry or enraged . but if we are talking bitter , that would be completely post war and it’s just the mention of yhwach’s name or those who went to god’s palace with him .  - What could lead to an instant kill?:  invasion of silbern , chaos . 

- Is there someone /-thing they hate?:  chaos , rebels , shinigami , anyone against the quincy . - Is there someone /-thing they love?:   her race , her pride , herself .

Is your Muse easy to approach?: YES / NO. - Best ways to approach them?:  just .... come to her and say hi . she is literally wandering around silbern all the time ( quincy speaking tho ) . for others , eh ... good luck . and wait post war (?) - Where are they usually to find?:  Silbern ... then Siberia . 

Something you may still want to point out about your muse?:  She is no saint , clearly . She has a questionable sense of things like loyalty and preservation of her race . she is honestly all over the place

CONGRATS!!! You managed it, now tag your mutuals! ♥

Tagged by:  honestly stole from @skyvar​  Tagging:  no one in particular.

[heechulhamster]

Stubborn and Stupid - Chanyeol

PARK CHANYEOL x Reader

College AU!, Angst, Fluff (Yes, here I am again with my Angst fics)

Somehow, loving him was all you knew. Your love for him was already innate to your being, a part of your identity, the only thing you know is right. And you are willing to wait for him. But does he want you to wait for him?

I listened to Bestfriend by Rex Orange County while writing this! I realized that it’s kinda similar.

4554 words

____

It wasn’t a good day for a fight. I mean, technically in your moral code no day was ever good nor bad enough to cause a messy confrontation. Yet here you are, in a locker room confined enough to cause cause claustrophobia in front of one of the feistiest people in campus. Well, the adjective was subjective as she usually seems friendly to the people she wants to be seen with. But obviously, you’re not among those people.

It was already unoften for you to be in a fight, moreover to actually cause the fight. Yet that was exactly what happened here.

“What are you standing there for? I thought you were brave enough to start a fight? Cat got your tongue?” Yeseul mocked you.

Yeseul is the girl he likes, or currently pursued considering the kind of guy Chanyeol is. And Chanyeol is, well, the man you loved to say the least. He’s always been the man you loved and you’ll continue loving.

Chanyeol is your childhood friend, you lived next door to each other. Your parents were close knit friends and you were bound to be one too. Except for the fact that as early as when you were 9, the friendly touches and hugs you and him shared weren’t too friendly in your perception anymore. Each connection lingered, the feeling of his skin on yours sent shivers to the farthest reaches of your veins. It was with him where you experienced the wonderful blossoming of a young heart’s first love. And he was your first heartbreak too.

You were too obvious, the red tint that painted your face when you hung out. The sudden awkward air that envelops the two of you whenever he’s around. It was like red paint on your forehead, ready for him to read, “IM MADLY INLOVE WITH YOU PARK CHANYEOL!” Not a lot changed since then, and you don’t know if it’s for the best or for the worst. You still were extremely close friends, despite your openness on your admiration for him. It was good that he didn’t see the need to avoid nor drop you, but it’s also sad that he always seen you as a friend, and only that.

The actual change of dynamics between you came during the latter part of high school. When the Gods of puberty hit Chanyeol pretty damn good. His lanky physique turned into that of a Greek deity. Every head turned to Chanyeol’s way whenever he walked down streets, hallways, or corridors. And eventually, you two just fell apart as friends. It was all too common of a teenage story, two best friends falling apart due to the imbalance of popularity and diverging interests.

But you stayed madly in love with him. Which got you in this situation.

“Try and cross me again…” Yeseul started and tugged your hair that was tied on the back of your head. You quickly retaliated and pushed her to the locker behind her, an action that caused a large thud.

A large figure suddenly casted a shadow towards the both of you. You quickly glanced at the locker room door and there he was, the root and main cause of all of this, Park Chanyeol.

“What the fuck?” As expected of him, he quickly rushed to her side and his hands reached out her back that collided with the lockers.

Yeseul, like an Oscar award winning actress, almost instantly cried and pushed her face onto the nook of Chanyeol’s neck as he consoled her. And with the glare he was giving you, you knew what his perception of the situation was - that you’re the evil one in this scenario. So you didn’t even bother to speak up, hurriedly grabbing your bag from behind and walking away from the ill fated room.

Since the last years of High school, you and Chanyeol haven’t been in the best of terms. Enter college and you were nothing more than one of his admirers, one with deeper feelings and more vibrant past with him. You’re still there for him, occasionally giving him gifts just because you wanted to and it felt right. You still supported him in his basketball games, still attended the dinners and parties his parents invited your family over. There were times that you’d catch up, usually during the few periods of his life that he didn’t have a girlfriend nor he was pursuing someone. But as soon as the missing slot in his life becomes filled up again, you quickly fade from his radar. Yet you’re still here, supporting and caring and loving him. Because loving him was always a feeling you didn’t hold back. To you, despite everything that happened - or the lack of any happening between you and Chanyeol, he still deserved all the love you could ever give, and more.

You had no other classes for the day, so you’ve decided to just go home and chill away all the negativities that filled your mind. You didn’t even think about Chanyeol would make out of the situation, your image to him had long been a done deal. He probably thinks that you attacked Yeseul in jealousy - which isn’t the case.

The contestants on the current season of Masterchef and their mouthwatering dishes was all in your mind as you lounged in your living room. But that peace was abruptly cut off by three knocks on your door.

“Care to explain to me what was that scene earlier?” Chanyeol blurted out as soon as you opened the door. To which you just let out a sigh.

“Do I really need to explain? I bet she told you all the right things already.” You answered in sarcasm.

“Yeah, apparently you heard her talking about me in the cafeteria and just threw a jealous fit on her.” He just towered over you as his hands rested over the door frame.

“Of course she told you that.” An unimpressed laugh came out of your mouth. “And you believed her.” -a declaration rather than that of a question. “You really believed I’d do something like that, didn’t you?”

“That’s why I’m asking you to explain!” Chanyeol lifted his hand and slammed it back on the frame in frustration. “You can’t just go and claim me as yours just because you’ve been crazy about me for the longest time. That’s just so fucking stupid of you, (Y/N.) Can you please stop annoying the hell out of me everytime?”

And that just took out the last straw of your patience and understanding.

“You know what, Chanyeol? Yes I’m so fucking stupid, man maybe I’ve got no wits at all for staying and loving you despite all the shit you’ve put me through all these years! Maybe I’m the one who’s stupid because I’m the only one who stayed for you, right? If I was smarter, I would’ve moved on a long time ago and went for someone better, not someone who treats me as shit as you do.” You snapped at him, which you almost quickly regretted as you saw the wide gape his mouth formed into. You’ve hurt his ego, for sure. But it’s a fair game as he hurt your feelings, one that he’s been doing for a good amount of time now.

Silence enveloped the two of you. You’re already thinking of apologizing, saying you didn’t mean anything in what you’ve said. But what’s done is done, words have been spoken and emotions have already formed.

“If it helps you to understand, yes I’ve heard her talking about you. But it wasn’t simply just a jealous fit. She talked about how she’ll only entertain you to get close to Seokjin in the basketball team. So being the stupid ass that I am that’s been crazy for you in the longest time, I fucking defended you for an awaiting heartbreak.”

You were protecting him from something he kept on doing to you for years. So much for being stupid.

“I’m…” That’s what’s all that escaped his mouth.

“Get off the porch, Chanyeol. Go take some rest. Don’t worry this will be the last time I’ll be annoying the hell out of you. Good night.” You wanted to say the common ending to your talks, you wanted to tell him that you love him despite knowing that you won’t get anything in return. But you just kept your lips closed and shut the door.

You remembered all the time you told him how much you love him. How you opened the deepest realms of your heart, letting him see how much you felt. How you’d look in his eyes as if it was the very vestibule of all the wonders of life, the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. You knew he didn’t see the same, that your eyes were just two of the hundreds that gaze at him at the same way.

You didn’t expect anything, in contrary to the popular belief in your college that you’d kill in cold blood to get Chanyeol to woo you back. You just loved him because that’s what you feel. You didn’t bother to restrain yourself on the wonderful feeling of adoring someone. Loving him felt right, as if it was something you were fated to do all your life. You just wanted Chanyeol to be happy and supported him in every step and action that was needed for him to achieve that - even in the cost of your own.

It was in the senior year of high school when he cried on your shoulder the whole night over the cheerleader who dumped her just because he didn’t have a nice car. How you caressed his back infinite times before the wells in his eyes finally stopped and just surprisingly leaned in and kiss you. You didn’t talk about it afterwards as it seemed that he didn’t even planned on remembering how he left you breathless and blushing after your first kiss.

Freshman year of college saw the night where you were both drunk, not enough to pass out but intoxicated enough to not decide properly. He brought you as a date to Jongdae’s party, one of his new friends with the same major. One drunk decision led to another and you just woke up holding each other close, both as naked as the day you were born and only clad in the thin blanket he had in his room. But then again, nothing changed between the two of you. You’re still madly in love with him, with only more reasons to hold on. And you were still his friend when it’s convenient, and a little bit something more when he needs to - but you were never his lover. Never the only thing you ever wished to be.

“Do you still love me?” He asked while you were both in the dusky path of a dream as you both lay on his bed. Another night where Chanyeol needed someone for assurance, he needed someone to be there, someone to fill his needs, and you were always the willing participant in his games. The willing recipient of his touch that failed to find a home, because it never wanted to go home to you.

“Of course I do.” You answered nonchalantly.

“How come?” His grip around your waist tightened as your back leaned on his chest while you laid on your side. Chanyeol’s breaths lightly fanning your hair due to the proximity of the both of you.

“I told you I’d love you until I can. I’d love you as long as I can feel. I’ll love you until you tell me you don’t want my love anymore.”

He never told you that he didn’t want you. Not unlike the others who he was quick to decline, the hearts that he didn’t even think twice to break. With you, it was like he was more careful. Maybe due to the reason of your long history, the friendship that you’ve built that has been slightly tarnished by immature teenage priorities. Or maybe there was something more, the one you silently hoped for.

You’ve told him before that he could reject you when he feels it right to do so. That you’d stop and drop every hope you have in your heart the moment he asks you to. But he never did, not once did he ask you to stop loving him. And nights like those where he held you close and kissed you as if he loved you back made you think that maybe he actually did. The nights where it felt as if he actually made love to you. Maybe he just couldn’t admit it to you, but maybe there’s a bit of love in his heart that sang to you. Because he never showed otherwise.

Yes there were times where he didn’t reach out because he had an ongoing thing with other girls. One of the endless sparks he experienced that were quick to die down. But even so, after those adventures, he’d always come back to you. You’re always the one he whispered sweet nothings to when he was broken. You are his constant light that never gave up on him even if he kept being blinded by sparks.

Chanyeol was all gentle and good with you, until today.

“Can you please stop annoying the hell of me everytime?” Pierced your heart like a pigeon shot in its flight.

Because you annoyed Chanyeol. Everytime. It came from his very mouth.

Was this the sign for you to stop?

A month elapsed since Yeseul grabbed your hair and you glasly pushed her hardly towards a cold locker. A month since you last talked to Chanyeol. Since that night, you’ve decided to stay away. To let him keep his silence and sanity, void of your incessant chatter, void of your love that he said he found annoying. You wanted him happy, and if that happiness means you steering clear of him - then so be it.

It was a good month for you, honestly. With checking up on Chanyeol’s happiness out of your daily agenda, you focused on yours. It was in that timespan where you realized that you relied a lot of your plans in accordance to Chanyeol’s path. You had an opportunity to go to a University in the city but declined when he told you that he wanted to spend college with you. That you’ll be a piece of home in the new waters you two will tread. An offer that you all too willingly obliged to.

A month was something wonderful for you to work on, for you to find out what you really wanted. Things that weren’t involving Chanyeol.

Over the span of your short life, you also tried and date others. You attempted to feel the same way you feel with Chanyeol. Maybe another hand can fill the gaps of yours and you’ll feel as whole as you did with him.  Perhaps you’ll see the same sparks in others’ the way Chanyeol’s make you feel. His large, dark, luminous eyes that never fail to behold everything about them. But nothing was ever the same. Nothing surpassed the way he could make you feel, despite the fact that he took the least effort in making you feel loved.

Today, it felt as if all the powers of universe and fate conspired to get you to talk to him again. You’ve already thought of watching his game tomorrow, a feat that you’ve never failed. But now, your parents asked you to give a shirt of his that got caught up in the laundry, for a reason you fail to decode. But nevertheless, you couldn’t reason out of it. And you knew that there would still be eventually a point where you need to talk to him.

If there was a competition or a national recognition for the dumbest people of all time, you could be one of the hall of famers. You just couldn’t stop yourself taking an extra step and baking a batch of his favorite cookies. You thought of it as a peace offering, despite the fact that the last meltdown between the two of you wasn’t your fault. It was his favorite, the boy needs a power up snack for the nearing basketball tournament.

Even you found yourself annoying.

With the box of cookies in your bag and his shirt too, you walked towards the campus basketball court after classes. You used to go here often, watching him train and even bringing food for Chanyeol as you knew training can be gruelling. Some of his team members even dubbed you as his “pseudo girlfriend.”

You’re stopped on your tracks when someone called your name on the lockers just behind the court. You looked at the source and saw a familiar face, he’s part of the team, you think.

“Hey, coming for Park again?” To which you just answered an ample smile.

“When will you ever learn that you’re not his type? Maybe you should go out on a date with me instead. How about that?” The way he wiggled his eyebrows tormented your eyes and caused disgust to form in the pits of your stomach.

“Sorry, not interested.” You tried to smile sweetly and attempted to walk away and towards the court where you hope to find Chanyeol.

“Stop being so dense, will you? I’m doing you a favor. Chanyeol will never love you. You’re not even half as pretty as Yeseul nor any of his exes. You have no right to be picky.” You didn’t even bother to look back, you just close your eyes on the harsh truth that he spoke.

You thought about just walking away and back home when you heard a sudden rambling on his direction before you could even walk. It’s Chanyeol, who just seemingly went out of the shower with his hair wet and towel draped over his shoulder, and the distasteful man now leaning on the wall with his hand over his nose.

“Learn to mind your own damn business the next time, fucker.”

The next minutes are a vague whirlwind of spontaneous happenings. You remembered Chanyeol grabbing his bag and basically dragging you out of the court, then out of the campus. Eventually bringing you to his car and eventually driving the both of you home. Now you’re in your kitchen, nursing the red bruises on his right wrist with an ice pack.

“I thought he just look like a rock, never thought his face would be hard as one too.” He said when he hissed as you damped the ice over his hands. “Why were you even there earlier, you done being mad at me?”

You laughed at his choice of words and his tone.

“Mom just asked me to give this shirt of yours, got mixed up in the laundry yesterday.” You put down the icepack to grab the shirt from your bag.

“Hey are those cookies for me?” Chanyeol almost instantly noticed the familiar box that you laid on the table in search for his shirt. Like a child that’s excited for a new toy.

“Yeah, I should’ve given it earlier. It’s not warm now, you still up for it?”

“Abso-fucking-lutely. Your cookies never gets old for me.” He opened the box and took one in a bite. “This would heal me better than ice ever will.”

You just watched him in wonder, how childlike he is. Maybe it’s that period again, where you’ll act close and cherish each other. The times where he suddenly remembers that he has you.

“And for the record, I was never mad at you.” You suddenly spoke out.

“Hmm? Really? I thought you were mad at me for what I said that night. Which makes sense because I was a flat out asshole. I’m sorry.” He held your hand with his bruised one. A gesture that suddenly made you feel warm.

“No, it’s more of…” You struggled to compose your sentence with his hands on yours. “I just didn’t want to annoy you anymore.”

“Aish, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything on what I said that night. Can we forget about it?” His grip on your hand went tighter. And all you could answer was a nod.

“You didn’t have to punch him.” You said as you put back the ice pack on his fist.

“That asshole deserved it.”

“I mean, he’s not all wrong.” You whispered, wishing that he did not hear your surrender.

“What do you mean he’s not wrong? I swear to God you’re so much better than all of my exes. Sometimes I think they’re all just passing fancy to me. But look, whose hands am I holding now?” Chanyeol’s grasp tightened again. Your mind was entangled in a haze of surprise, shock, and failure to process his words. You tried your best to shake it off, remind yourself that it was all part of the vicious cycle of the game you all too willingly agreed to play with him. The cycle of you loving him and him consuming that love and needing you, a simple concept of supply and demand.

“I wasn’t talking about that.” You put your gaze away from him, afraid of the truth his eyes will speak as you know it would be multitudes louder than his words.

“What?��� He asked, and you put your head down. “No, tell me. What?”

“He wasn’t wrong…” You couldn’t bring yourself to look at Chanyeol. “That you won’t love me… that I have no right to be picky.. And that I should stop.”

You felt his hand detach from you, and your heart sank. Was this the answer that you’ve been waiting for? The rejection you’ve been anticipating? The only knife that will cut the thread that’s what’s left of you holding on to him?

“I swear I’m going to punch that motherfucker another time the next time I see him.” You’re shocked at his sudden display of anger as he loudly dropped his swollen fist on the table. You reacted in a haste as you grabbed it and put over the ice again.

“You’re going to hurt yourself-” He didn’t even let you finish when he spoke again.

“What if I could?” You slowly lifted your face to meet his eyes. Hoping to see insincerity, that he was joking, but he was painted of perseverance and eagerness. “What if I could love you?”

“You could do a lot of things, Chanyeol. But not all the things you could do are the things you want to do.” You mumbled without removing your eyes on his.

“What if I want to?”

“Do you?” A newfound courage pushed you to asked the question you’ve been too scared to ask. Does Chanyeol want to love you? Does he have any desire to reciprocate your feelings in any part of his heart? But it was time for him to answer, and it was time for you to know. You couldn’t just keep on holding a torch for him all these years, you couldn’t keep on waiting without knowing if you were even actually waiting for something.

“I’m gonna need time to answer that.”

“No, I’m going to need your answer now. I’ve loved you since we were 9, Yeol. I think thirteen years is already an enough amount of time to think if you want someone or not.” You pulled your hand away from his grasp. “Now, have me or lose me, Chanyeol.”

He just stared at you, his youthful eyes spoke of confusion. His lips agape, deprived of the answer you’ve been waiting for.

“I’m going to need an answer before I leave, Yeol.” You declared you stood up and walked towards the sink.

“Leave to where?” He just trailed you with his head, not moving from his seat.

“I’ve been offered an internship. It will be good for my growth. It’s only two months but I’m already so excited for it, Yeol. I’ll get to widen my horizons, my world, maybe even move on.” You looked back at him and smiled a modest one.

“From me?” He just stared at you as you filled the now emptied ice bag with more ice again.

“Probably. That’s why I need your answer now.” You walked back and sat on the chair once more. “Yeol, I’ve loved you for as long as I could remember. I’ve let you define me for so long. Remember when we we’re 7? I was known as Chanyeol’s bestfriend. In high school I was known as the girl who had a crush on you. Even I don’t know myself anymore, I only know you. Loving you has been my identity now, maybe I need to know who I am without you.”

“I remember when Sooyoung told me that maybe why you can’t fall inlove with me was because there was no one to fall in love with. That I don’t even know who I am. And it’s true. Somehow it feels like all these years all I am was a vessel of love for you, and it’s not healthy. For both you and me.” You continued.

“This is a great opportunity for me, Yeol. For me to know myself, my real dreams, what I want.” You explained.

“What you want…. Would that still include me?” Chanyeol suddenly asked.

“Do you want to be?” You asked back to him.

“Yes. I don’t know what I’d do without your love. It’s been part of me, it’s something I’m used to.”

“You’re used to it, but do you want me to love you?”

“I want you, your love, and I want to return it too. I just don’t know how to show it. Maybe I’ve been in love with you too but I’m too dumb to recognize it. I don’t know.” Chanyeol scooted closer to you and held both of your hands in his. “It would be selfish for me to ask this, but please don’t stop loving me. Trust me, I love you too. But I just suck in showing it, or recognizing it. Maybe I have too much pride to admit that to myself, to everyone, to you, that the one I’ve been looking for is all you. Please, don’t move on from me. I just… I just need time to be better at this.”

“We have plenty of time to figure things out, Yeol. Maybe when I come back, we’re both in a better place and better state of mind, right?”

“I love-” Chanyeol started but you were quick to hush him with your fingers.

“Not just yet, Yeol. Take your time. I want to hear it from you when you’re sure, okay?” He nodded.

“But I need you to hear that I promise to be better when you come back. To give you everything you deserve that I failed to do before. Because I need you, and I want you to stay loving me. I don’t know anything else. And it would be my biggest mistake if I let you go.”

“I told you, Chanyeol. I’m not going to stop loving you unless you ask me to.” You pulled one of your hands from his hold and caressed his cheek.

“Then please, (Y/N). Continue on loving me, and don’t you ever stop.”

[silver-greedling]

Time

Jumin Han x Reader (based on a visual novel in day 8, and, like always, i diverge from the script....if you want the actual storyline, im not ya girl lmao, also im using the real brands instead of the fake ones)

“Oh my,” Sarah gasped, staring at me where I was sitting on the edge of Jumin’s bed, legs dangling off of the side, “look at that girl, lying through her teeth. What the Hell are you doing in my fiance’s house in the middle of the day?”

Jumin spoke up, “...Who’s whose fiance?”

Sarah faltered for a moment, and I bit back a laugh a her expression. “Jumin, no need to be shy. I know everything.” She shot a dirty glance my way, and I turned my eyes away from her for a moment. “I’m sure she’s just a hook up.” Her gaze returned to Jumin, and I felt sick at how her eyes looked over him. “I’m not a woman who makes fusses about these things.“

She took a step closer to Jumin, who folded his arms and said nothing. “You work in the big league,” Sarah went on. “I’m sure this is nothing. It’s fine. Marriage is a much more sacred bond than meaningless desire. I’m old enough to know everything.” Jumin’s back was to me, but I felt something change in his intensity, as well as in my mind.

What if...I was just a meaningless fling? Was that what I meant to him? Between myself and the beautiful women who surrounded him daily, why would her pick me?

“Alright, alright,” Sarah sighed. “Don’t look at me like that.”

I shifted uncomfortably on the bed, and the sound caused Jumin to glance over. We locked eyes for a moment, but I couldn’t hold his stare. Instead, I focused on fiddling with my hands, not wanting to look at either of them.

“You’ll feel much better if I show you the photo,” Sarah said. “Now, here! It’s her, right?”

Jumin didn’t say anything, but Sarah kept on. “It’s Elizabeth.”

“Unfortunately,” Jumin spoke up, “it’s not.”

“What?” Sarah’s voice cracked. “Look closer! All cats kind of look alike. White fur and blue eyes! It’s her. What do you mean it’s not her?” She sighed. “Maybe...the photo didn’t come out as well? It might be Elizabeth if you actually see her.” I heard her step closer to Jumin. “Do you want to go see her with me?”

“I must refuse,” Jumin replied.

Sarah huffed, clearly annoyed. “You have no idea how hard it was for me to find a similar looking cat in such a short time! Jumin, are you really going to be this rude?”

Jumin sighed, and I brought my eyes over to them again. He had his arms crossed at Sarah, who clutched the picture tightly. Again, his eyes met mine, but he looked back to Sarah quickly. “I’m afraid I cannot see you off...I will call someone to escort you.”

“You should at least offer you fiance a cup of tea,” Sarah whined.

“That will not happen,” said Jumin. “And I hope we do not have to see each other ever again. I will tell father about what happened today.”

“E-Ever again?” Sarah stuttered. “What?! Are you breaking up with me?”

“Break up?” I heard an amused lilt in Jumin’s tone. “How strange of you to say that when we have never been together. If you thought that exchanging a few words was being together, then you are delusional. In addition, that photo of the cat can easily be found online. You must be very confident of my father’s support to shamelessly walk into my house with such a photo.”

“I...” Sarah glanced at the photo, and I could tell that she was getting very nervous. “I must have been tricked...!”

“Will you please leave?” With a sigh, Jumin shook his head. “I do not wish to further waste my time, as I must find my cat.” He sighed once more. “I will tell father that you brought a fake photo of my cat to win over my affections. If my father has any sense left in him, at all, he will stop talking about the marriage.”

“Wait,” Sarah chimed, “Jumin, don’t try to call off the marriage on your own! Is it because of that woman?” She gave me the dirtiest look yet. “I’m going to tell Mr. Han first! That you have another woman!”

Jumin said nothing in response. His gaze settled on me, and he sent a warm smile, as if to reassure me, or tell me he had it under control.

“What,” the woman spoke, “are you two in love, or something?” My cheeks felt hot, and, once more, I dropped my gaze. “That assistant didn’t mention anything like this!”

“Hey!” I could tell this was directed at me, and I looked up to see she had taken a step in my direction and was now yelling at me. “If you think that you’re going to get a Prada bag by being with him, make sure I don’t catch you! I don’t know where you came from, but rich families have a reputation to keep up! So don’t even think about doing something funny!”

I felt my mouth move without me asking it to. “Sarah, I’m Jumin’s friend. Please, watch what you say.” Jumin smiled at me, and I could have sworn it seemed like he was applauding my bravery at talking to Sarah.

Speaking of Sarah, she now had her arms crossed, still glaring at me, “Friend...? Friend, when you are alone at his house?! And it looks like you spent the night here. And what are those, pancakes?! It’s so obvious!”

“Oh, I forgot to clean the plates, this morning,” Jumin sighed. “I should have called a maid...”

“Are you pretending you can’t see me, now?”

Jumin didn’t respond, so Sarah turned to him fully and stepped in his direction. “Jumin! How could you do this to me?! Mr. Han loves you so much...how could you be so rude to me when he picked me! I can’t just leave like this!”

“...You’re hurting my ears,” Jumin spoke again, and I looked up. “Seriously, where did my father bring in this woman?”

“I’m hurting your ears?” Sarah laughed, but it was forced and full of anger. “Then listen to me!”

“I wanted to end this quickly, since she is watching...” Jumin shook his head. “But this reminds me of an episode from a soap opera.”

“W-What?” Sarah faltered, again. “What are you saying?”

“This has just become unnecessarily troublesome, but I’ll do it for my father. Your fake tears...your timid threats...it’s all so cliche that I can’t help but laugh.”

“I mean it! I’m really going to tell Mr. Han. No use stopping me, now.”

Crossing his arms, Jumin met her stare. “I can guarantee you that your threats are pointless, to me. I’ve gone through this multiple times in the past. You should use your energy on something else in life...giving you advice will only be a waste of time, so let’s stop it at that...”

“W-What are you talking about?” Sarah feigned a pained look, like a kicked puppy or a cat left outside in the rain...

Bad analogy, given the circumstances.

“Anyways, you’re mad at me right now, right? Just be honest!”

“Not yet,” Jumin spoke coolly. “I do not get angry very often. But, you’ve annoyed me enough to make me talk. I know very well from experience that people like you will do whatever it takes to get what you want.” He looked at Sarah, looking like he was reaching his wit’s end. “You will have the right skills and even the spontaneity to do it...but people like you easily fall into nihilism once you’ve acquired that wealth you’ve so coveted. I...felt pity. A life filled with pointlessness, but I suppose that’s the life you want?”

“W-What?!” Sarah reeled at Jumin’s words.

He looked at his hands. “I had all the wealth, ever since I was born. Do you want some?” He turned back to Sarah. “A couple million, is that what you want?”

She gave Jumin a confused look, so he went on. “Tell me. If you ask me for it, I might give it to you. You need money, right? It’s nothing to me.”

“Jumin...” I spoke up, and we locked eyes. His gaze softened when we did. “I think you’re too emotional, right now. Are you okay...?”

“I’m fine,” he assured me with a sweet smile.

“You...You’re being too harsh! Can you write me a check, right now?”

“I do not like talking about impossible things,” Jumin mused.

“So, you mean it?” Jumin nodded, and she stood straighter. “T-Then...about three million. Then, I’ll say no to the marriage. With the condition that I’ll put it nicely to Mr. Han.” She sighed. “This will be better, I suppose. It’s a win-win.”

Jumin laughed. “...Got you.”

Sarah glanced at him nervously. “Why are you smiling?”

He settled himself and faced Sarah fully. “I just repeated some lines from a soap opera I watched. It’s funny that you’re almost replaying that scene for me. Apparently, it’s a very popular TV show, these days.”

“What?! You were messing with me?!”

“Yes.”

Sarah sputtered, “God...! Who the Hell do you think you are?”

“Unfortunately,” Jumin went on, “I will be charged with embezzlement if I use company assets for personal means. I’m not keen on being behind iron bars.”

“Are you out of your mind?” Sarah asked, seemingly bewildered.

“Yes,” Jumin said again. “You’ve managed to come here with a fake photo of my cat and insult my dear friend. My joke is only fair, don’t you think?”

“I’ve never insulted her!” Sarah said defensively. “And the cat photo...! I...I was tricked, too! And isn’t it rude that you let another woman in your house when you’re engaged?!” Her cold eyes turned to me. “And, at that, such an average looking girl...!”

Jumin moved to stand between her and me. “She is not an average girl. What you see isn’t everything. You won’t understand, even if I explain it to you.” He sighed. “It seems we have no more to talk about. Why don’t you leave?”

“No!” I couldn’t see Sarah, but I could hear in her voice that she was reaching her limit, if she wasn’t already at it. “I can’t leave like this! This isn’t fair...! No!”

“I don’t know what is not fair,” Jumin said, taking a step to the side and, very briefly, looking over to me, before his gaze fell on Sarah again, “but, if you do not wish to leave, I will use you to do what I want.”

“What are you talking about?!”

Jumin sighed, stepping closer to me. “There was something I wanted to do...but I just couldn’t come up with a proper excuse, but this seemed to happen a lot in soap operas.”

“What’s with the whole soap opera thing?!” Sarah whined, and I stood up when Jumin motioned for me to do so. “God, so childish!”

“I’m sorry,” Jumin told me once he got close. “It seems you’ll have to excuse me. I had no other choice to let her out...yes, let’s put it at that.” He glanced to the side, and, for a moment, I could have sworn he was...embarrassed. The Jumin Han, face red in embarrassment. “And...I was going to do it soon, anyways.”

Before I could ask, he put his hand under my chin and pressed his lips against my own. Sarah yelled when he did.

“What...What are you...!”

“J-Jumin?!” I squeaked, as he pulled back, only a little bit.

He shushed me, smiling. “You’re blushing. You’d better close your eyes. Focus on your senses.”

I did so, closing my eyes and putting my hands on his chest. He kissed me again, his other arm grabbing my waist.

“Ugh...I’m going to tell Ms. Choi!” Sarah whined.

“Yes,” Jumin mused as he released the kiss. “Having an audience for our first kiss takes off the tension. Your lips are so warm and soft. And...I think I smell a bit of the pancake?” He chuckled, and my cheeks got very hot. “You’re cute.”

“How...! I’ve never been so insulted!” I heard footsteps stomping out of the place.

“God...” Jumin sighed. “Finally, she’s leaving.”

The sound of the door slamming startled me, even though I was kind of expecting it. When Jumin didn’t move away, I spoke up.

“Jumin...” I trailed off, searching for the words. “Can we really do this?“

“To be honest...” He met my gaze. “I wanted to kiss you from the first moment I saw you. I’m sorry if that was so sudden. I wanted you to be comfortable here...perhaps I’ve bothered you.” His eyes grew warmer, and he smiled. “But I don’t regret what I did.”

My lips trembled, and I looked for anything to say. “Is this appropriate...” My brain wracked itself for any semblance of a thought. “...when Elizabeth is missing?”

“This has nothing to do with that,” Jumin told me. “It’s my emotions. And Elizabeth isn’t here, but you are. Oh...I just realized something after the kiss. That you are indeed different from Elizabeth III. The special person who can truly understand me...who I can touch and kiss and understands what I’m saying. I’ve known this for a while, now. That I need someone like you, not a cat.”

His hand went to my cheek, and I leaned into the warm touch despite myself. He seemed to be happy with that, because he smiled at me. “And, seeing you in front of my eyes...I feel like I’ve finally gotten what I wanted. I don’t want to be a fool who loses what he needs. Elizabeth III...even if I find her again, she is just a cat. But you’re different. You can soak in all of my emotions.” He breathed in sharply, voice going softer. “You can be mine.” His face broke into a sweet smile. “That makes me so happy.”

He pressed kisses on the side of my face, and I laughed a little bit. When his lips met mine again, I could have melted.

“Jumin...first, calm down,” I said, even though I wanted more. “You were worried about Elizabeth a minute ago!”

Jumin’s forehead rested on mine. “I’ve never been so sure of my feelings,” he said. “Now that Elizabeth III isn’t here...it must be ironic that I’m so happy. But, I’ve realized what I truly wanted, thanks to my cat going missing.” He stopped for a moment, letting his thoughts collect, before he went on. “I want you...and I want you to want me, too. I mean this.”

I went to speak, but my words got caught. What would I say? What I felt? Or what was the right thing to do?

Damn my better judgement.

“I think any relationship needs time,” I said. “Let’s think about it. First, let’s find Elizabeth.”

He nodded. “I can understand if you need time,” he returned. “Just don’t leave my side, right now. I’ll try to be the man who can do anything for you. That’s...That’s what everyone expected from me, ever since I was little.” His eyes met mine. “I won’t say much. Even if it takes time, I want to have everything you are. So just stay here, with me.”

When I nodded as a response, he went to pull away, but I grabbed his hand.

“Jumin,” I said, and he took both of my hands in his own. “I...I want you,too. Really.”

He reeled at that for a moment, but a smile crossed his lips. Before he could say anything, I grabbed his cheeks and pulled him to me again. Without a second to waste, his arms were around me, and my hands were on the back of his head, pulling him down to me. His arms secured me against him as he sighed, breathlessly. I put my head against his chest, listening to the thumping of his heart.

He wanted me, and I wanted him. That was all we wanted.

[kronos-the-timelord]

Dude, do all of the numbers for that getting to know you better ask! Or half bc 200 is a lot :0

ahhhhhh,, you so nice

1: My name? - Margaret

2: Do I have any nicknames? - maggie, mag, mags, maggles, at one point my friends called me parky

3: Zodiac sign? - libra

4: Video game I play to chill, not to win? - i’ve never been too good at video games (but i like watching ppl playing them) and i’ve only ever had a wii so my sims kingdom was a favorite of mine

5: Book/series I reread? - divergent and pjo

6: Aliens or ghosts? - yes

7: Writer I trust enough to read whatever they write? - @kata-chthonia

8: Favourite radio station? - 103.3 fm, although i mostly listen to spotify now

9: Favourite flavour of anything? - grape and blue raspberry

10: The word that I use all the time to describe something great? - great or cool

11: Favourite song? - a to b by matt hires

12: The question you ask new friends to get to know them better? - it usually has to do with what drew me to them in the first place followed up by a version ‘why do you think that?’ i like knowing how ppl think bc it gives me a better way to start understand their view

13: Favourite word? - aurora

14: The last person who hurt me, did I forgive them? - i can’t really remember, so i dont know what that says :/

15: Last song I listened to? - serial killer by moncrieff

16: TV show I always recommend? - dexter or if they don’t like blood and violence, any of john mulaneys specials

17: Pirates or ninjas? - i liked pirates when i was younger, but ninjas are cool

18: Movie I watch when I’m feeling down? - any studio ghibli or song of the sea

19: Song that I always start my shuffle with/wake-up song/always-on-a-loop song? - lately its been SLUT by bea miller

20: Favourite video games? - i really love boderlands, the art style is great

21: What am I most afraid of? - snakes and failing at something i’ve been saying that i wanted to do my entire life

22: A good quality of mine? - im nice??

23: A bad quality of mine? - im a bit aggressive and im really blunt about things

24: Cats or dogs? - dogs!! I like cats too but i dont know how to interact with them

25: Actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in? - he’s a voice actor, but crispin freeman is really cool!

26: Favourite season? - fall and spring

27: Am I in a relationship? - yeah, but it’s long distance during the school year ;-;

28: Something I miss? - my boi,, he’ll be back soon tho

29: My best friend? @keencheckerboard and @memeathon

30: Eye colour? - brown

31: Hair colour? - brown with red and blonde highlights

32: Someone I love? - my mom

33: Someone I trust? - @keencheckerboard

34: Someone I always think about? - @memeathon

35: Am I excited about anything? - finals to be over!

36: My current obsession? - bnha tbh

37: Favourite TV shows as a child? - i loved avatar and ed, edd, and eddy

38: Do I have someone of the opposite sex that I can tell everything to? - to an extent, but i dont tell them /every/thing

39: Am I superstitious? - kind of

40: What do I think about most? - right now, school

41: Do I have any strange phobias? - not really, i mean i overthink a lot of things, but there’s no phobias

42: Do I prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it? behind

43: Favourite hobbies? - drawing/reading/writing/sleeping

44: Last book I read? - i think it was called stung, i actually finished it bc i wanted to complain about it properly

45: Last film I watched? - dumbo, my friend wanted to go see it, it wasnt good

46: Do I play any instruments? - i played clarinet for 3 years

47: Favourite animal? - dogs

48: Top 5 blog on Tumblr that I follow? - @wemakuu @wemakuutwo @keencheckerboard @memeathon @kata-chthonia

49: Superpower I wish I could have? - teleportation

50: How do I destress? - getting cozy and warm under my blankets with the lights off

51: Do I like confrontation? - i can be aggressive so i will be confrontational if i have to but i don’t go out of my way for it

52: When do I feel most at peace? - in my bed with the lights off

53: What makes me smile? - my friends, my boi, and goofy animal videos

54: Do I sleep with the lights on or off? - gotta be pitch black

55: Play any sports? - i played roller derby for 3 years

56: What is my song of the week? - really feeling be by hozier

57: Favourite drink? - …..water…. and a slushee

58: When did I last send a handwritten letter to somebody? - i think last summer???

59: Afraid of heights? - nope

60: Pet peeve? - slow walkers

61: What was the last concert I went to see? - does my high school’s band count???

62: Am I vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian? - nah

63: What occupation did I want to do when I was younger? - ob nurse, i still do

64: Have I ever had a friend turn enemy? - no, i’ve had ppl i tolerated turn into ppl i hate tho

65: What fictional universe would I like to be a part of? - bhna, but i feel the hero drama would get annoying after awhile

66: Something I worry about? - failing my classes

67: Scared of the dark? - nope

68: Who are my best friends? - this is the same as 29

69: What do I admire most about others? - their drive and where their motivation comes from

70: Can I sing? - no ;-;

71: Something I wish I could do? - sing

72: If I won the lottery, what would I do? - pay off my loans and (hopefully) for the rest of my college and then put whatever i had left into a savings account

73: Have I ever skipped school? - yes

74: Favourite place on the planet? - i think the smoky mountains are really pretty and i loved vacationing around them, but colorado was really neat too, so probs one of those places

75: Where do I want to live? - somewhere on the northeast coast!

76: Do I have any pets? - yeah!! He’s a doggo named dageus,,,, here he is,, the big boi!! (hes 121 pounds of love!!!!!)

77: What is my current desktop picture? - something @memeathon drew me

78: Early bird or night owl? - night owl

79: Sunsets or sunrise? - im usually awake during sunset, but sunrise is really pretty

80: Can I drive? - yeah!

81: Story behind my last kiss? - i was saying bye to my boi at the airport

82: Earphones or headphones? - earphones

83: Have I ever had braces? - yeah,, they weren’t fun

84: Story behind one of my scars? - i have a couple little ones from acne on my back but other than that i don’t have any

85: Favourite genre of music? - i think indie rock?? Is that a genre?? Punk maybe????

86: Who is my hero? - florence nightingale,, she was hella cool and i went to her museum in london

87: Favourite comic book character? - i didn’t read a lot of comic books but i always liked spiderman and witchblade

88: What makes me really angry? - when ppl make fun of my friends >:l

89: Kindle or real book? - i like real books but ebooks are nice for traveling!!

90: Favourite sporty activity? - roller derby or skating

91: What is one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be? - im not really sure what this question means????? But i didn’t like that in my middle school that the behavior coach(es) would already pick sides or would already hate kids that did nothing wrong and then in my high school no one cleaned up after themselves bc ‘the janitors can do it’ :/ it was really annoying

92: What was my favourite subject at school? - english/creative writing and art!!

93: Siblings? - i got an older brother who’s a big nerd

94: What was the last thing I bought? - i went to target last night and i got $68 worth of stuff including planty stuff, food, and gift stuff for my boyfriend’s moms

95: How tall am I? - 5’6” but i will not hesitate bitch

96: Can I cook? - yeah!

97: Can I bake? - yeah!

98: 3 things I love? - my friends/family, animals, and plants

99: 3 things I hate? - slow walkers, rasict/homo/trans/biphobic (anyone who just hates ppl for no reason tbh), and rude ppl >:l

100: Do I have more girl friends or boy friends? - more girl friends,,, i’ve kinda lost contact with most of my guy friends over the years,,,,

101: Who do I get on with better, girls or boys? - i feel more comfortable around other girls now but when i was younger i was okay with everyone

102: Where was I born? - in the cornfields of the midwest (i fucking hate this state)

103: Sexual orientation? - straight

104: Where do I currently live? - in the cornfields of the midwest, i am the creature you’re warned about, don’t walk alone at night

105: Last person I texted? - @memeathon : D

106: Last time I cried? - yesterday,,, finals hit me hard but i feel better now :D

107: Guilty pleasure? - uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh,,,,,, looking at gross stuff,,, like surgeries and sometimes those pimple popping videos,,,,,,,,

108: Favourite Youtuber? - i’ve been watching a lot of gordon ramsay videos lately but i think brandon rogers or sovietwomble are up there

109: A photo of myself. - heres one i took on my break at work

110: Do I like selfies? - no,,, i don’t really like looking back on photos of myself bc i think i just look weird,, like even in my super nice senior photos,,, or baby pictures,,

111: Favourite game app? - does neko astsume count???

112: My relationship with my parents? - it’s p good :D

113: Favourite accents? - i’m not really sure,,, i think just a flat accent, like midwestern bc its the one im most familiar with so its like homey???????

114: A place I have not been but wish to visit? - japan,, nowhere in specific i just want to see the country

115: Favourite number? - 23!!!!

116: Can I juggle? - no

117: Am I religious? - im a polytheist (a bad one, but oh well)

118: Do I like space? - i love space!!!! Its so neat!!!!!!

119: Do I like the deep ocean? - no!!! Its awful!!!!

120: Am I much of a daredevil? - i think my friends think i am, but i dont really think so, i mean i’ll try anything if it sounds fun, but not everything

121: Am I allergic to anything? - not that i know of

122: Can I curl my tongue? - yes

123: Can I wiggle my ears? - no

124: Do I like clowns? - not really

125: The Beatles or Elvis? - a little bit of each

126: My current project? - my creative writing portfolio ;-; its not that hard but im trying to figure out how to get this character right

127: Am I a bad loser? - depends on what i lost in, like if it was a game i didn’t really care about than no, but if it was something that i cared about a lot than yeah

128: Do I admit when I wrong? - i always try to, but sometimes i don’t

129: Forest or beach? - forest,, i don’t like the beach,, too much sand

130: Favourite piece of advice? - it’s not really advice but just the reminder that your current situation is not your final destination

131: Am I a good liar? - i think so

132: Hogwarts house / Divergent faction / Hunger Games district? - slytherin (its funny bc im scared of snakes)/ dauntless/ and i think district 6 (i live in the crossroads of america so yeah)

133: Do I talk to myself? - all the fucking time

134: Am I very social? - sometimes, i am kinda a social introvert

135: Do I like gossip? - i like to hear it but not be part of it

136: Do I keep a journal/diary? - i have a bullet journal and i try to keep up with my habit and mood tracker daily

137: Have I ever hopelessly failed a test? - no, but i have gotten like high d’s and low c’s before that make me sad

138: Do I believe in second chances? - depends on what they messed up on the first chance, like if someone cheated then no

139: If I found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would I do? - i would like to say that i would return it with no money taken, but im just not sure :/

140: Do I believe people are capable of change? - yeah, if they’re really trying and realize that they need to, but even if they do change i know not everyone will accept them back into their lives and it shouldn’t be expected that they should after someone changes for the better

141: Have I ever been underweight? - no

142: Am I ticklish? - very and i have this weird tactile thing thats like i dont like ppl lightly touching me, it freaks me out

143: Have I ever been in a submarine? - no

144: Have I ever been on a plane? - yes!! I love flying!! Its so much fun!!

145: In a film about my life, who would I cast as myself, friends and family? - uhhhh,, im going to go by face,, i think for me - shailene woodley bc when she had her short hair ppl told me i looked like her @meme - liana liberato, she got the round face @keen - winona ryder (but back in beetlejuice) boyfriend - tucker west, i know he’s not an actor but he looks so much like him,,,, also it took me forever just to find these guys so im not finding family :p

146: Have I ever been overweight? - no

147: Do I have any piercings? - i have my ears pierced!

148: Which fictional character do I wish was real? - hari jurono,,, i love him ;-;

149: Do I have any tattoos? - no, but i already have some picked out that i want

150: What is the best decision I have made in life so far? - ummmm??? Im not sure?????

151: Do I believe in Karma? - yeah

152: Do I wear glasses or contacts? - contacts during the day and glasses at night

153: What was my first car? - i have a subaru crosstrek named inko!!! I love her!!

154: Do I want children? - no

155: Who is the most intelligent person I know? - my mom tbh,,, shes really smart

156: My most embarrassing memory? - omfg,, so this goes to show how oblivious i am about social interactions, but it was my first week in college and this junior was talking to me and i didnt realize he was flirting with me until after we traded snapchats and he left, so i panicked and never said anything to him again and blocked him

157: What makes me nostalgic? - when i walk around my neighborhood sometimes (i live near the preschool i went to) and i was over at my elementary school almost a year ago now, but i remember walking down the hall and seeing all the different teachers there now and it made me sad

158: Have I ever pulled an all-nighter? - yes, just last week

159: Which do I value more in others, brains or beauty? - brains

160: What colour mostly dominates my wardrobe? - darker colors like black and blue, but im trying to get lighter ones in there too

161: Have I ever had a paranormal experience? - yes, many times, but the one that sticks out to me is that one night i woke up at like 5 am for no reason, but i was just suddenly wide awake and something felt off, so i was trying to get comfy again and flipped over on my other side so i was facinging the door into my room instead of my wall and in front of my door was a tall black figure with red eyes staring at me and when i blinked it went away,, now i know this can be explained by some other things but with my family it seems more likely to be paranormal

162: What do I hate most about myself? - uhh, i procrastinate way too much

163: What do I love most about myself? - i always support my friends

164: Do I like adventure? - depends on the adventure,,, i like traveling, but not too much walking bc i have bad knees

165: Do I believe in fate? - not really

166: Favourite animal? - question 47

167: Have I ever been on radio? - no, but i was on my school’s announcements and i hated it

168: Have I ever been on TV? - no

169: How old am I? - 19

170: One of my favourite quotes? - “The Gods envy us. They envy us because we’re mortal, because any moment could be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we’re doomed”

171: Do I hold grudges? - im petty

172: Do I trust easily? - no,, im just cautious around ppl bc i just don’t know them

173: Have I learnt from my mistakes? - some of them

174: Best gift I’ve ever received? - im not too sure,,, i got a p cool backpack for my birthday tho that i use everyday

175: Do I dream? - yeah, cant remember too many tho

176: Have I ever had a night terror? - no??

177: Do I remember my dreams, and what is one that comes to mind? - can’t remember a lot after i wake up, but i just recently had one with some bnha characters in it, i can’t remember what happened, i just know that they were there

178: An experience that has made me stronger? - i know this might sound a bit morbid, but my aunt’s funeral, it was the first funeral i went to where i understood what was happening and it made me more open to learning and accepting death

179: If I were immortal, what would I do? - want to fucking die,,, i’ve never understood ppl who are scared of dying/want to live forever,, like why would you want that??? What’s the point??? You’ll just watch everyone you love die,,, i know it’s going to be hard on me when that happens to my closer family members, but even the new ppl you befriend,, i just couldn’t

180: Do I like shopping? - yeas

181: If I could get away with a crime, what would I choose to do? - tax evasion

182: What does “family” mean to me? - the ppl who i care about deeply and who love me, not all of them are blood related and not all the blood related ones are part of it

183: What is my spirit animal? - idk?????? Maybe a turtle???

184: How do I want to be remembered? - tbh, i don’t really want to be remembered

185: If I could master one skill, what would I choose? - drawing

186: What is my greatest failure? - im not sure

187: What is my greatest achievement? - uhh, i feel like its hard to point at a specific point and be like “that was the best thing i could have done, if i didn’t do that i wouldn’t be who i am today”

188: Love or money? - money

189: Love or career? - career

190: If I could time travel, where and when would I want to go? - probably to some point in the future,, i dont know where tho

191: What makes me the happiest? - the ppl i care about being happy

192: What is “home” to me? - the house i currently live in,, my family is here and im surrounded by ppl i love,, it’ll probably change with time, but for now its here

193: What motivates me? - spite

194: If I could choose my last words, what would they be? - it’s important to keep moving forward, don’t let the past hold you down

195: Would I ever want to encounter aliens? - kind of, i think it would be p cool

196: A movie that scared me as a child? - it wasn’t a movie but i know the animated wolf from peter and the wolf freaked me out

197: Something I hated as a child that I like now? - i hated mushrooms, but i love them now

198: Zombies or vampires? - vampires

199: Live in the city or suburbs? - suburbs super close to city

200: Dragons or wizards? - DRAGONS

201: A nightmare that has stayed with me? - its silly but when i was younger it would be my mom and i going to the mall downtown and the escalators were missing the part that connected them to the floor so you had to hop over it and when we would get to the 4th floor i would miss the jump and fall

202: How do I define love? - i know a lot of ppl are like “i would die for you or kill for you” something along those lines but i think it’s more living for someone, wanting to see them accomplish everything they wanted, being there for them during their lows203: Do I judge a book by its cover? - yeah, i wont pick up something that doesnt catch my eye

204: Have I ever had my heart broken? - no

205: Do I like my handwriting? - yeah!! Its loopy

206: Sweet or savoury? - sweet

207: Worst job I’ve had? - ive liked all the jobs ive had

208: Do I collect anything? no

209: Item of clothing or jewellery you’ll never see me without? - a hoodie/sweater of some kind

210: What is on my bucket list? - going to greece

211: How do I handle anger? - i usually rant for a bit, maybe cry to get the extra hormones out, maybe break something

212: Was I named after anyone? - no, but i did have the same name as my great grandma

213: Do I use sarcasm a lot? - yes

214: What TV character am I most like? - im been watching bnha a lot so i think either kirishima or uraraka

215: What is the weirdest talent I have? - i can cross my eyes and then move one of them

216: Favourite fictional character? - ,,,,, im not sure,, i really love eric from divergent

[blazc-ignitixn]

Rules

1. This blog is:

Semi-Selective: Everyone is welcome to follow, however I might be a bit choosy about follows back (it's not you, I promise, just me being careful). I'd rather RP with mutuals (easier for me to keep track of replies, nothing more), though IM and Inbox are open for anyone, so feel free to drop by.

Multiship: I’m shipping trash and open to any sort of relationship, from platonic to romantic. I'm biased towards Touya x Hawks and Touya x Tomura, but I'm up to give any ship a try as long as there isn't a too big age gap (no more than 5-6 years) and the younger half of the ship is at least 18-20 (16 and no older than 17 in the Hero Student Verse) , so ask away (no, seriously, I work better knowing if you want to ship in advance, shipping with chemistry is all good but don't be afraid to ask me to ship straight away, I love planning a ship). Respect Touya's sexuality (homosexual) and in the off-chance I say no to a ship, DO NOT try and force it; I can guarantee I won't do the same. Pre-established (platonic) relationships are okay too (meaning Touya met them as a student or sidekick and is already familiar with them as a pro hero), if there's a good base to it, though it'll depend on the muse (Touya isn't exactly the social/trustful type). Absoutely no shipping Touya with any of the UA students and people who are minors in canon.

Multiverse: Interactions with different muses are to be considered to take place in a different verse unless discussed between muns. Same goes for shipping, so there will be no cheating involved (it’s a big no-no for me and makes me really uncomfortable, so don’t even ask).

Multimuse-Friendly: If you have a multimuse blog, feel free to interact with me, just make sure to specify which one of your muses you want to use, especially if we've just started interacting.

Sideblog-Friendly: I'm perfectly alright RPing with sideblogs; you can reblog my promo (tag This Is Our Call [Self Promo]) so I know where to find you, just please send me a message / IM from your main blog if I follow you so I know it's you.

OC-Friendly: Pretty self-explanatory, if your muse is an OC and you want to interact, you’ll be more than welcome. No Mary Sues or Gary Stus though, please (I had a bad experience in this regard). Also, I'd rather if you had a decent bio page so I know as much as I can about your OC, and I'm perfectly fine if your OC is related to a canon character.

AU-Friendly: Your muse is an AU/Canon Divergent version of a canon muse? Fine by me, as long as you have a bio page where you explain said AU/canon divergence so I have an idea about what's different from canon.

Crossover-Friendly: Your muse belongs to a different fandom? That’s perfectly fine! Though be forewarned that I might not follow back quickly (or at all) if it's a fandom I'm not familiar with unless we've been friends for a while (like, from before I joined the BNHA fandom), you have a BNHA AU or I see potential for interactions. It's mostly to keep my dash clean and for my own comfort, nothing against you, so please don't feel bad.  For fandoms I’m familiar with, see rule #20.

Duplicate-Friendly: If your muse is another Dabi, you're more than welcome to interact, I love multiverse mayhem! Time travel, alternate dimension, twin verse, anything goes.

NSFW-Friendly: Both mun and muse are 21+ and open to roleply smut, though it’ll only happen with muses that are at least in their twenties (Touya is 25 in the main verse and I won't RP smut in verses where he's 17 or younger), in which case it’ll be tagged accordingly as Too Hot To Handle [NSFW] and put under ‘read more’ if necessary. I will only RP smut if the other mun is 18+ and comfortable with it as well.

2. I accept interactions with underage muns, but the relationship between our muses will remain strictly platonic. I don't feel confortable writing romantic ships with underage muns due to past experience. Platonic ships are more than welcome though. Thank you for your understanding and patience.

3. No godmodding (controlling my muse yourself) and no metagaming (using knowledge of someone’s muse that a character has no way of knowing).

4. If you don't follow me back when I follow you but are still willing to RP, send me an ask or IM or tag me in a random starter to break the ice. I usually don't approach blogs I follow if they don't follow back for fear of bothering.

5. I’m open to RP via IM and Discord as well, so if we’re mutuals, feel free to ask for my Discord-ID (though I might be selective with giving it).

6. I don’t care about reply length, just write whatever you feel like. I’m perfectly okay with one-liners, para, multi-para and drabble-length replies, whichever floats your boat, as long as you give me something to work with for my own reply.

7. Don’t reblog OOC posts, Rules, Headcanons or threads you’re not taking part to. Seriously, it’s annoying as hell so. Please. Don’t. Do. It! 

8. Feel free to tag me in dash games (no seriously, I love those so the more the merrier) and, if we're mutuals, random starters as well.

9. Triggers might be present (Touya's backstory does include child abuse and domestic violence and he's prone to having panic attacks), but will be tagged accordingly as TW: Trigger (ex. TW: Blood), even if mentioned (in which case it'll be tagged as TW: Trigger Mention), just to be safe. If you want me to tag a specific trigger, just let me know. I don't have any triggers myself, but please tag cheating (in a relationship), animal abuse, torture, rape/non-con and eye-related gore, as they're topics which make me uncomfortable.

10. I’m more than happy to turn asks into threads, as long as we're mutuals. I don't mind either reblogging said ask or starting on a different post, whichever you prefer.

11. Since this blog is based on the 'Dabi is a Todoroki / Touya Todoroki' theory, which includes details of latest manga chapters, spoilers will be present, though they'll be tagged accordingly as Darkest Fire [Spoilers]. In general, I'll tag spoilers from the Internship Arc onward (let me know if you want me to tag earlier spoilers too).

12. I don’t really like to RP angst. Hurt/comfort is okay, though, and my go-to type of thread. Other things I prefer avoiding are dub/non-con, gore, and torture.

13. No hounding / pressuring for replies / answers. I won’t do the same with my RP partners and ask the same courtesy from them. If I haven’t replied in a while, you’re welcome to ask me (gently) via IM. Chances are I’m busy with real life (I’m an university student on my last year), my phone doesn’t work or I need more time to come up with a proper reply.

14. Please keep drama, discourse and anon hate away from me. I’m here to have fun and relax, so don't try and get me involved in stuff like this (it's lowkey triggering for me so please respect it). Much appreciated.

15. Don't be rude. I’m a very kind, considerate individual, I always do my best not to disrespect other people and I hate it when people disrespect me. I’ll gladly accept critiques as long as there’s a good, well-explained reason behind them, but gratuitous rudeness is a big no-no.

16. I don't accept M!A (Magic Anons) so don't send them in unless I request it by writing a post or reblogging a meme (which will happen rarely, if ever). M.A. sent without prompting will be deleted on sight. 

17. I won't take part in or join affiliated RP groups. Last time I did it wasn't a pleasant experience so I'd rather steer away from it for the time being. My activity might be spotty due to IRL stuff so I don't wanna feel pressured to be active at all time. I might make exceptions, but rarely so.

18. No need to send in passwords, I know it can make some people anxious. I myself have no problem sending them in if requested, and in any case I always make sure to read the rules before following/interacting, so I assume you did the same. 

19. For PSAs, look for the Let It Burn [PSA] tag.

20. Regarding crossovers, here’s some of the series I’m into and know very/decently well:

Persona Series

Ace Attorney

Yuri!!! On Ice

Fairy Tail

Pokémon games

Harry Potter

Artemis Fowl

Marvel Cinematic Universe

X-Men Movie 

Danganronpa

Ouran High School Host Club

Villainous / Villanos

Saint Seiya (Classic Series, Lost Canvas, Hades, Soul of Gold)

Time Hollow

Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective

Fruits Basket

Mystery Skulls Animated

[agirlinhell-a]

MAINS & SHIPPING EXCLUSIVES

Introduction

So I think it’s about time I reached out to find people who are interested in pursuing super close connections with me.. So here it is, the shiny new updated proposition - I am looking for mains/exclusive writing partners be it of any kind. I love continuity in threads, and I love having people who are interested in having me throw ideas and headcanons at them at any time. I absolutely adore having people get as excited as I am. Therefore, by liking this post, I assume that you have read my rules and have a basic understanding of Clementine’s character by reading through her pages. I also take it that you are interested in interacting with my muse to develop possible relationships (positive or negative, platonic or romantic) with her.

What’s this?

Being my main means I’ll get to “pester” you a lot, post random small starters and send asks whenever my character is in need of yours. When I receive memes that require a certain muse (such as “kiss x muse” for example), I’ll immediately go for my mains. They are my priority, and our interactions affect Clementine’s timeline. This means that Clementine will often think of your character even when you, the mun, are not part of a thread or a post. Your muse will be in Clementine’s thoughts and heart and they affect her timeline. Clementine and said main’s relationship can consist of friends, lovers, enemies, rivals, old mentors, old friends, friends with benefits, exes, colleagues, students, people she works with now, people she stumbles upon, there are many possibilities! I will be accepting canon characters, canon-divergent characters, original characters and characters from other fandoms. This however, does not mean I am exclusive unless if we, as muns, agree on this. Even if I have a main of your character, for example, I can still roleplay with you and will gladly do so. Please don’t let the fact that I have a mains list put you off. I will gladly interact with the “duplicates” of the characters listed here. This list only indicates that these people will TAKE PRECEDENCE when it comes to plotting, threads, memes, and generally writing together. So please don’t ever hesitate to write with me if you’re not listed here.

On the context of ships, we don’t have to have interacted before but I do want us to be mutuals. However, we must have enough interaction for me to get a feel for Clementine’s  feelings towards your muse before shipping should be discussed. I prefer to ship chemistry over anything else. Please keep in mind that Clem is NOT an easy person to ship with. Note that I am multiship and therefore, it’s not considered “cheating” because these characters, unless stated otherwise, will have a separate verse, and none of these affect Clementine’s current default storyline.

What are advantages that mains have that others do not?

Priority. When you reply, your reply will be prioritized. This means if I have a verse I want to try, or if I have a ton of replies to write and not a ton of time to do those replies, yours will be done first. If you like a starter call, yours get done first. If you send in a meme, yours will get done first. You get priority. By doing this, you’re going to get a ton of inspirational posts from me. I will tag you in graphics, in quotes, in songs. I will send you headcanons, alternate universes and plot ideas. I like to make edits, aesthetics, promos, pinterest boards, playlists - everything. I like to put personal tags on my blog, to suit specific storylines with people. Most of the time, mains will have those attached to anything I tag them in, for organizational reasons. Sometimes, this can lead to ships, be it platonic, romantic or otherwise. Sometimes, it might just make you my favorite person. I care so deeply about my threads and partners that I enjoy keyboard smashing about them, so I just ask that people are equally as invested in them as I am and that I’m not some new trophy to a collection. If I feel like you are bored, annoyed, or “done” with my muse, but are too chicken to tell me, (or can’t decide what you want from me/my muse) I will just leave you be, and not tag posts or respond to things anymore. It’s simple; I am not one to play games and use muses as speaking devices for my displeasure, nor will I stick around if my muse isn’t wanted anymore. You can’t “bookmark” ships for “later” either. Not interacting for weeks to months is not normal. So mixed-signal games don’t work with me anymore. Instead of causing OOC drama, I will simply bow out and wait for you to make the next adult move. I won’t chase you around if you are secretly waiting for me to do everything and read your minds. So if you can’t make the decision to end something, I will be the one to do it. My muse is no one’s “filler” ship or trophy. This is not first come, first serve.

I like to tie storylines in amongst other threads I have, though this is not obligatory. That already happens for some of my threads right now. If you’re a main, I will come to you for judgment on how your muse would react to a situation or whether or not it would be out of character to act a certain way, to refer to our plot development when addressing connections between muses, etc. I will recommend you to writing partners of mine. I love threads with multiple people attached. I love to gush about writing partners, I love consistency, and I love it all.

Rules attached to mains are pretty simple - at most I will take three but this is unlikely, I don’t expect exclusivity unless we explicitly agree on that, and that you’re excited about the relationship between the muses, too. If we are exclusive, I would just ask that you let me know if that is no longer working for you. Literally, just communicate that to me, and I don’t mind if we have to drop a thread for your own comfort. I like to think I’m pretty easy to work with as a writing partner. If you indicate that you’re interested in being mains and we don’t currently have something set up, I will approach you to plot something, and we can go from there. Likely, I won’t list you as a main until there’s been some degree of writing interaction between us. Sorry, but I’m just speaking from a logical perspective here.

Want to be my main?

Before we become mains, I wish for us to talk OOC and have at least a few interactions so we can “feel” each other’s interpretation of our characters. This is just so we can see if we feel comfortable roleplaying together and if our muses have chemistry, because once we are mains I will send you many asks and make starters, for I assume that if we accepted to be each other’s main means we’re friends and like each other’s writing, therefore we should feel comfortable to “pester” the other as much as we wish.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like to be mains. All I ask is for you to be reasonably ACTIVE, and for us to have written together / established some sort of relationship between our characters, be it friends, enemies, lovers, etc. If you become inactive without telling me the reason why for weeks or months, then you will be removed from the current list. If you start drama with me, then you will be removed. So, if you want to be my main, smash that heart, IM me or send an ask so we can discuss it.  Thank you for taking the time to read this! Please enjoy your day and stay safe, you have all my love! ♥♥♥

CURRENT MAINS AS FOLLOWS THUS FAR BELOW (IF THERE IS A * BESIDE THEM, THIS INDICATES EXCLUSIVITY FOR CANON CHARACTERS). SHIPS WILL BE ADDED IN ANOTHER SECTION ON MY BLOG.

CANON CHARACTERS:

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS:

[persiciflorebellator]

MAINS & SHIPPING EXCLUSIVES

Introduction

It’s been a long time since I’ve brought this up, but I’m about to add and update my mains section, so I think it’s about time I reached out to find people who are interested in pursuing super close connections with me because whenever I would reblog my old mains post, hardly anyone would like it. So here it is, the shiny new updated proposition - I am looking for mains/exclusive writing partners be it of any kind. I love continuity in threads, and I love having people who are interested in having me throw ideas and headcanons at them at any time. I absolutely adore having people get as excited as I am. Therefore, by liking this post, I assume that you have read my rules and have a basic understanding of Toka's character by reading through her pages. I also take it that you are interested in interacting with my muse to develop possible relationships (positive or negative, platonic or romantic) with her. 

Personal and ask/rp blogs, please don’t reblog!

What’s this?

Being my main means I’ll get to "pester" you a lot, post random small starters and send asks whenever my character is in need of yours. When I receive memes that require a certain muse (such as “kiss x muse” for example), I’ll immediately go for my mains. They are my priority, and our interactions affect Toka’s timeline. This means that Toka will often think of your character even when you, the mun, are not part of a thread or a post. Your muse will be in Toka's thoughts and heart and they affect her timeline. Toka and said main's relationship can consist of friends, lovers, enemies, rivals, old mentors, old friends, friends with benefits, exes, colleagues, students, people she works with now, people she stumbles upon, there are many possibilities! I will be accepting canon characters, canon-divergent characters, original characters and characters from other fandoms. This however, does not mean I am exclusive unless if we, as muns, agree on this. Even if I have a main of your character, for example, I can still roleplay with you and will gladly do so. Please don’t let the fact that I have a mains list put you off. I will gladly interact with the "duplicates" of the characters listed here. This list only indicates that these people will TAKE PRECEDENCE when it comes to plotting, threads, memes, and generally writing together. So please don’t ever hesitate to write with me if you’re not listed here. I do not have exclusives, except with ships. If you are a multimuse blog, then please state which muse you’d like to have as a main on this list. Like I said, I will gladly write with various versions of the same character. But if we’re shipping together, yours will be the only one I ship with. 

On the context of ships, we don’t have to have interacted before but I do want us to be mutuals. However, we must have enough interaction for me to get a feel for Toka’s feelings towards your muse before shipping should be discussed. I prefer to ship chemistry over anything else. Please keep in mind that Toka is NOT an easy person to ship with. Note that I am multiship and therefore, it’s not considered “cheating” because these characters, unless stated otherwise, will have a separate verse, and none of these affect Toka’s current default storyline. 

What are advantages that mains have that others do not?

Priority. When you reply, your reply will be prioritized. This means if I have a verse I want to try, or if I have a ton of replies to write and not a ton of time to do those replies, yours will be done first. If you like a starter call, yours get done first. If you send in a meme, yours will get done first. You get priority. By doing this, you’re going to get a ton of inspirational posts from me. I will tag you in graphics, in quotes, in songs. I will send you headcanons, alternate universes and plot ideas. I like to make edits, aesthetics, promos, pinterest boards, playlists - everything. I like to put personal tags on my blog, to suit specific storylines with people. Most of the time, mains will have those attached to anything I tag them in, for organizational reasons. Sometimes, this can lead to ships, be it platonic, romantic or otherwise. Sometimes, it might just make you my favorite person. I care so deeply about my threads and partners that I enjoy keyboard smashing about them, so I just ask that people are equally as invested in them as I am and that I'm not some new trophy to a collection. If I feel like you are bored, annoyed, or "done" with my muse, but are too chicken to tell me, (or can’t decide what you want from me/my muse) I will just leave you be, and not tag posts or respond to things anymore. It’s simple; I am not one to play games and use muses as speaking devices for my displeasure, nor will I stick around if my muse isn’t wanted anymore. You can’t “bookmark” ships for “later” either. Not interacting for weeks to months is not normal. So mixed-signal games don’t work with me anymore. Instead of causing OOC drama, I will simply bow out and wait for you to make the next adult move. I won’t chase you around if you are secretly waiting for me to do everything and read your minds. So if you can’t make the decision to end something, I will be the one to do it. My muse is no one’s “filler” ship or trophy. This is not first come, first serve.

I like to tie storylines in amongst other threads I have, though this is not obligatory. That already happens for some of my threads right now. If you’re a main, I will come to you for judgment on how your muse would react to a situation or whether or not it would be out of character to act a certain way, to refer to our plot development when addressing connections between muses, etc. I will recommend you to writing partners of mine. I love threads with multiple people attached. I love to gush about writing partners, I love consistency, and I love it all.

Rules attached to mains are pretty simple - at most I will take three but this is unlikely, I don’t expect exclusivity unless we explicitly agree on that, and that you’re excited about the relationship between the muses, too. If we are exclusive, I would just ask that you let me know if that is no longer working for you. Literally, just communicate that to me, and I don’t mind if we have to drop a thread for your own comfort. I like to think I’m pretty easy to work with as a writing partner. If you indicate that you’re interested in being mains and we don’t currently have something set up, I will approach you to plot something, and we can go from there. Likely, I won’t list you as a main until there’s been some degree of writing interaction between us. Sorry, but I’m just speaking from a logical perspective here.

Want to be my main?

Before we become mains, I wish for us to talk OOC and have at least a few interactions so we can “feel” each other’s interpretation of our characters. This is just so we can see if we feel comfortable roleplaying together and if our muses have chemistry, because once we are mains I will send you many asks and make starters, for I assume that if we accepted to be each other’s main means we’re friends and like each other’s writing, therefore we should feel comfortable to “pester” the other as much as we wish.  Please feel free to contact me if you would like to be mains. All I ask is for you to be reasonably ACTIVE, and for us to have written together / established some sort of relationship between our characters, be it friends, enemies, lovers, etc. If you become inactive without telling me the reason why for weeks or months, then you will be removed from the current list. If you start drama with me, then you will be removed. So, if you want to be my main, smash that heart, IM me or send an ask so we can discuss it.  Thank you for taking the time to read this! Please enjoy your day and stay safe, you have all my love! ♥♥♥

CURRENT MAINS AS FOLLOWS THUS FAR BELOW (IF THERE IS A * BESIDE THEM, THIS INDICATES EXCLUSIVITY FOR CANON CHARACTERS). SHIPS WILL BE ADDED IN ANOTHER SECTION ON MY BLOG.

CANON CHARACTERS:

Orochimaru: @masshirohebi​*

Uzuki Yugao: @kaless39​

Tenten: @colossvs​*

ORIGINAL CHARACTERS:

Uchiha Haruhi: @13lilypetals​

[sagemoderocklee]

You're not a bitch, your a person dealing with stuff and you are amazing! I'll ask a few things, but please don't put yourself down okay, dear? Here are a few asks of the Naruto kind. 1. Did you know have an AUs for how the others could have met? 2. What's your favorite AU idea you headcanon a lot? 3. if you could make your own Gaalee movie what would be the plot? 4. Would you like to have seen KakaGai get married? 5. Naruto should have had been raised by a surviving clan member?

i don’t mean it in a bad way, but thank you anon. and thank you for the ask. also im gonna put this under a cut cause it’s... long and i don’t wanna annoy ppl with long posts on their dashes lol 

1. I have a lot of AUs and story ideas, but they mostly revolve around GaaLee. I have one canon AU centering around Gaara, but I haven’t actually done any real plotting for it because it’s a huge project and because my top priority rn is the plethora of WIPs I already have going, specifically getting the last two chapters of Alliance finished since that’s been 8 years in the making and it’d be nice to be able to just... say it’s done and move on to the sequel fully. I do have some other AUs of course, ones that are currently in progress--such as Find Me, which is a high school AU, and then I’ve got the hanahaki that I just recently started working on. Oh and I almost forgot the Pirate/Selkie AU which I started ages ago but then the computer that it’s on busted so i need to take that in so i can access that file. The way that characters meet varies from AU to AU but it ranges from chance encounters to having a mutual friend. Find Me is very much a chance encounter for Gaara and Lee, but they would have eventually met because Gaara and Naruto were already friends. Hanahaki fic has the Sand Sibs being tasked with.... something plot important etc etc and they travel to Konoha. Pirate/Selkie AU is another chance encounter sort of deal. 

Generally speaking, any AUs i come up with tend to be non-canon, because most of my canon projects tend to take on more of a fix-it-fic kind of vibe where i take the canon up to a certain point. so like i rlly think i only have one canon-verse au and honestly i have No Fucking Clue what i’m doing with that yet lmao um. im sorry if this is disjointed im having a hard time focusing for obvious reasons lol ummmm mmmhmmm i hope that’s a good answer. 

2. My fave AU idea. oh gosh. that’s so hard. I have so many different stories running around in my head. I’d probably say Alliance/Allied Nations Saga since it’s now a canon divergence AU. I spent so much time working on it--again 8 years--and putting so much heart and soul into that fic/series. I don’t know if Find Me is like my fave in terms of AUs but I set out to do something specific with that fic and I think I’ve accomplished that already even if there are still 9 chapters to go. It’s honestly probably my most popular fic, and I think it’s the simplicity of a hs au layered with the intensity of dealing with mental health issues which are largely based on my own personal experiences. So even though it’s not my fave, per say, it’s still really special to me. I do have a soft spot for coffee shop aus because apparently i don’t get enough of coffee shops at work lol but i haven’t gotten around to writing one of those yet. 

I do have to say though my Pirate/Selkie AU is one I’m super fond of. I think it’s just so fun and imaginative, and I really want to get back to working on it. But I do have like... four or so WIPs going on so I’m like ehhhhh maybe just... wait lol 

3. If I made my own GaaLee movie it would fully be the plot of The Allied Nations Saga. I have literally thought so many times how cool it would be to just... see it lol It’s silly but when you spend 8 years working on one project it just... really becomes a part of you in a way I think other projects don’t. 

Also I would be very interested in seeing The Art of Love because it’s just... that good imo 

4. I would love to have actually seen Kakashi and Gai get actually married. Like I know we all joke because they basically are married in canon, but god to actully see it and have it acknowledge. I’d have cried. 

5. Naruto should have been raised by someone period. Clan or no. He should have been given to a family that would take care of him. Hirozen’s a punk ass bitch who promised Minato he would take care of Naruto and then proceeded to neglect him at best.  the shit Naruto went through was so avoidable. None of that should have happened, he shouldn’t have had to live that life but Hirozen didn’t care about Naruto and it’s absolute bullshit. 

[rosaguard]

AERIS GAINSBOROUGH RP PLOTTING CHEAT-SHEET!

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

mun name: summer. ooc contact: feel free to message me through IMs or asks. discord is reserved for friends and more serious plotting.

who the heck is my muse anyway?

    aeris gainsborough is one of the main protagonist from final fantasy vii and the last living cetra, an ancient race that is able to speak to the planet directly. when she was only an infant, aeris’ father, once the former head scientist at the shinra company, was murdered so that aeris and her mother, ifalna, could be captured. the first seven years of her life were spent as a prisoner in the shinra building so her and her powers could be studied closely for shinra’s own selfish gain. eventually, her mother was able fight her way out of the shinra building but was fatally wounded in the process and the two were eventually found on the steps of the sector five station by a widow named elmyra gainsborough. knowing that aeris was finally in safe hands, ifalna leaves her daughter with a heirloom, the holy materia, before she passes on to join the lifestream. in the years following her mother’s death and being adopted by elmyra, shinra would continue to track her movements but mostly let aeris be as she got older. 

   the use of mako, an energy source that was drained from the planet’s essence, would also rise in prominence during this time and various groups formed to oppose shinra’s methods. the most notable and active group were the eco-terrorists, AVALANCHE, and aeris’ life changes completely when one of its members nearly crashes on top of her in her church. a short walk to sector seven ends with aeris adventuring through a red-light district, midgar’s sewers, and finally kidnapped by the turks. feeling responsible for her capture, cloud, tifa, and barret break into the shinra building and are able to rescue the flower girl before hojo can use her and another innocent creature ( red xiii / nanaki ) for another one of his twisted experiments. once she is safe, the group’s attempt to escape fail and they’re locked away….only to be mysteriously freed where they discover that nearly everyone in the upper floors of the building murdered, including president shinra himself.

   while the group mostly intended to save the planet by destroying shinra, aeris and the others soon learn that there is an even greater threat to the planet: sephiroth. due to be wanted in midgar, the ragtag group of strangers leave the city in order to search for the elusive former general in order to figure out his intentions. this moment jumpstarts aeris’ journey of self-discovery and learning more about her ancestors ⎯⎯⎯⎯ something that she had deliberately avoided until now. as she the group continues to travel the world, aeris slowly begins to not only understand her role as the last cetra but she finally learns of the true purpose of the heirloom her mother had given her all those years ago…

things you should know:

aeris does not die in my portrayal. my blog is canon divergent and is meant to explore how she ( and the story as a whole ) would change if she were to live. i’ve already written about what the differences between the events at the city of the ancients are in my blog canon.

the original game will always be my base. with the remake coming, there will more than likely be changes that i’m willing to adapt to but her personality will always remain faithful towards the OG in case the remake is not. i also pick and choose which parts of the compilation ( crisis core, advent children, etc. ) i wish to acknowledge.

aeris can ‘hear’ other planets too. she might not fully understand what it’s saying as its words might sound muffled or completely like gibberish to her but she can hear it.

my aeris is brown. when describing her in a thread, please don’t describe her skin as pale or white because it is not. she is the equivalent of a south asian woman visually, not western like nomura has stated she’s designed to be ( here is an example of her skin tone if it helps ).

what she’s been up to:

main verse: after being rescued from shinra, aerith quickly becomes a new member of the AVALANCHE crew once they decide to leave midgar. during this period, she and the others travel across the planet to hunt down sephiroth and uncover his true motivations for seeking the promised land. until aeris, along with tifa and barret, leave the main party to travel to the city of the ancients alone.

where to find her:

sector five church:  aeris’ home away from home is an abandoned, dilapidated church in the sector five slums where she has managed to do the impossible: make flowers grow in the slums. children often visit her to play in her church or help tend to the flowers while she’s away.

the upper sectors: towering over the slums is the plate that holds the foundation of midgar. despite popular belief in the slums, people of various wealth live on the plate - from the middle class to the most wealthy.  it is the flower girl’s main place of business and you’re most likely to find her selling flowers on loveless avenue in sector eight.

the highwind: despite the wounds earned during the clash at the city of the ancients, aeris remains with AVALANCHE until the end. once meteor is finally summoned by sephiroth and tifa and barret are rescued in junon, the others return to icicle inn to retrieve aeris. after cloud is found in mideel, aeris remains at the hospital to be treated by its doctor while tifa watches over their comatose leader. after cloud returns to his former self, she mostly stays on the airship whenever they leave to fight.

current plans:

kill sephiroth / save the planet: this is pretty straight forward to be honest.

desired interactions:

if the ff rpc wasn’t so d-e-a-d, i would mostly say canon interactions? i would really like to go more into her general feelings regarding well…everything post-stabbing. it would be a difficult time for her since she’s just been stabbed, she failed to protect the planet, etc. ( there’s also processing what happened at the temple of the ancients: tseng might be dead, we know he’s not, but she thinks so and cloud attacked her ).

more friendships / family / whatever. i’ve actually haven’t gotten into shipping until like…the past year? it’s been nice but also want to make sure all my interactions aren’t just romantic.

this section will be updated™ over time.

things that bother me:

receiving starters about aeris’s flowers or something related to flowers. while it might not seem like a big deal to you, imagine receiving 6 starters and four of them were about the same exact subject. it’s just…really boring so please don’t write about her flowers unless it’s something you really feel is unique enough.

having your muse ‘save’ aeris. unless we’ve discussed this and i’ve agreed to it happening, don’t write it for me. aeris is not weak. she does not need your muses’s protection unless she asks for it. in the original game, she states multiple times that she can handle herself and gets visibly annoyed when people underestimate her: cloud: you gotta be kidding. why do you want to put yourself in danger again? aeris: i’m used to it. cloud: used to it!? ……well, don’t know… getting help from a girl… aeris: a girl!! what do you mean by that!? you expect me to just sit by and listen, after hearing you say something like that!? // cloud: how could I ask you to go along when I knew it would be dangerous? aeris: are you done?

literally everything about crisis core!aeris. having her entire design be retconned because a guy told her he liked pink on her is bad. having him be the one to suggest she sell flowers when she literally lives in straight poverty is bad. having her spend four years writing letters to the equivalent of a high school crush is bad. having so much of her relationship with cloud taken and recycled for zack ( falling in her church, just one date, etc. ) is bad. having her, a person that is literally connect to the planet and has limit breaks that deal with nature itself, be scared of the sky is not only bad but stupid. none of this means that i hate zack as i would still be willing to write ze.rith if there’s chemistry but it would have to be heavily plotted and discussed.

tagged by: no one, i rewrote an old one i did.

tagging: anyone who wants to.

[readfelice-blog]

moominland chronicles fünfzehn: felice vs the german health care system

Hello you, 

It’s 4am on Friday morning, I’m lying in bed with one of my 3 flowered ikea lamps burning away, holding my cuddly pig tight to my chest whilst I tap out this blog on my iphone, balanced on a pillow.

I cant sleep.

I’m going to get a taxi to hospital in 5 hours.

Before we start all that please administer any of the below music to yourself as an accompaniment, I’ve been dipping my toes into the clear water of pop shoals this week, I might be the last person to have listened to blond (an article in vice insisted upon me lining it up on my google play - still no cd player, I know):

Frank ocean

Nikes (song, always a fan of a big opener on an album)

https://vimeo.com/179791907?ref=em-share

Blond (album, yes you've probably heard it already)

https://www.discogs.com/Frank-Ocean-Blond/master/1046042

I'm also late on the train for Mitski I’m sure, but the words, restrain in her voice and divergent harmonies (discordant, is that better?) are searing through me, might listen again in the hospital tomorrow.

Though perhaps as she grows older she wont long for that kiss quite as much as she does now, because prince charming will never save her really (though she does acknowledge that from time to time on this album)

Mitski

A horse named cold air (song)

https://youtu.be/ce3m-o1pZqY

Be the cowboy (Album)

https://mitski.bandcamp.com/album/be-the-cowboy

And just this one song, which kind of speaks frankly from my heart a little, or at least I sympathise with, though in a fuller sense my situation is very different and it’s only my little brain that identifies with the lyrics.

SZA: the weekend

https://youtu.be/PALMMqZLAQk

So then.. youre suited and booted musically, lets press on shall we? After all I mentioned hospital, it would be cruel just to taper off now.

Heres my small brain again:

Fuck the fucking german health system, fuck all those uptight bigoted cunts that put the phone down on me this week, fuck my insurance for charging me since july and slyly adding it to my bill, fuck the man at the tk queue yesterday who aggressively shouted at me for talking on the phone with my sister, about my illness, at the first opportunity that day after a very strange experience with the gynaecologist.

Ok, 

I’m breathing, my small brain is retracting, lets continue a bit less aggressively now.

Health health health, we’re jumping back on the theme from last week, because sometimes illness doesn't go away, and as this blog is my warts and all document of the weird happenings of my life, I am going to be very very open about whats happening to me this week.

So I’m bleeding, like all pre menopausal women do who dont take contraception that inhibits it, thats what was happening in Paris, thats what has been happening for 3 weeks.

I’ve been bleeding for 3 weeks, yes.

I had really bad period pains last time round, which is unusual for me these days, I took buscopan plus, i soldiered on, then it stopped for a week, then it returned, light some days, heavier seemingly at the weekends. I pigheadedly pushed through physically exhausting weeks of cleaning, travelling, working, I’m a freelance cleaner, I don't get sick pay or holiday pay, I have to work or I can't pay rent.

I wrote a blog about it last weekend. But that was just before the blood clots starting coming, when the first one fell out it plopped in the toilet, I was so shocked I fished it out and curiously studied it (warts and all, I’m sick of skirting the weirdness in my life: its there: get used to it). I thought it was a dead baby, it was monstrous and displayed a horrid kind of plasticity as it eerily shifted round the jar in my hand I was gently coercing. It was an alien, more like rosemary's baby than my cherub cheeked nephew.

That was MONDAY.

I thought, ok the babies fallen out, now it’ll surely stop.

On sunday the bear got in touch, he'd been trying to phone, he was annoyed he couldn't get in contact, he was horny. I told him I was still bleeding, he insisted I go to the doctors, in his very forthright way, he sent me money to go even: because i was clueless about my insurance at that point. I knew i’d been getting letters I couldn't read from tk (die teckniker, german health insurance provider)  for months, since I stopped working at the hostel, but I’d just carefully ignored them.

I didn't have the money to pay for health insurance.

I botched my first attempt to see a gynaecologist, I made an appointment online but the transfer the bear made was not in my bank so he asked me to phone them and check payment methods. When I did the receptionist point blank refused to speak English to me, my quandary was simply, “Do I need cash today?” But she was haughty and unsympathetic, another colleague took the phone, who even through garbled understanding felt kinder but it soon transpired that my appointment was for November 1st not October 1st.

“Im very ill i dont think I can wait that long.”

I phoned Meoclinic to be told by a woman with razors in her voice who suddenly became sickeningly sweet after she’d told me it was €400 just to see someone. I felt like the pleasure she was deriving from me tripping over my words and despairingly saying that was to much money for me, was enough for her to take home and masturbate over later, in her silky agent provocateur corset, on silk sheets, with a flute of champagne on the bedside table.

I gave up for the day and decided that tomorrow I’d go to the doctors I went to for my sti test a few months ago, they were very nice. They spoke english, they had open appointments the next day at 18h.

TUESDAY

More clots started coming, big, gloopy, just pouring out of me, they were announced by a tirade of blood, I was soaking through organic pads at an alarming rate.

So that wasn't the baby on Monday then.

I went to clean first, I cant afford to not clean for reasons stated above, at an office where the woman who employs me talks to me through gritted teeth as if our every interaction is painful to her.

Lowly pauper girl, know your place.

Anyway due to logistical issues she had probably not envisaged, I didn't do the whole job and left early. I walked out on to the money lined streets of Uhlandstrasse, Cara Delevine’s svelte androgynous eyes staring out at me from various glass paned monoliths, and sat on a moth eaten bench, very upset from the shift, feeling utterly worthless, responsible and at fault, bleeding.

Then I had a cigarette, collected myself and went to tk: Round 1.

I waited, gushing out blood, in line for 25 minutes to see the receptionist, then a further 10/15 to see the sales girl. I dont have to pay them straight away but when november comes I will have to pay them 720+€ , plus from then on 180€ a month, from an average wage of 800€.

In retrospect I was probably fully within my right to protest starting the contract from July 1st, but I was so grateful for someone health related to be talking to me in English and perhaps it will stand in my favour now the hospital bills will be tallying up.

I left with no card or proof of insurance.

I went home, lay down, then showered, laced my trainers and went back into the world depleted, to Mehringdam to see the emergency doctors, it was raining heavily outside.

They were different this time, I had no proof of insurance but I had the bears money so I was paying cash, I waited dutifully and wrote in my diary.

It was a different female doctor, a more boxy and less vital woman than the previous medic I’d met at the same clinic. About halfway into my bloody tale of woe she stopped me panic stricken.

“You know this is a doctors surgery, you have to go to a gynaecologist.”

“Ok, so you cant help me.” - i start putting my coat back on.

A pause.

“Can you at least refer me to one? I’ve had a hard time trying to find a gynaecologist, I can't really speak German, people have been very rude to me so far, I came back here because I remember people were kind and tried to help me, even though I wasn't sure it was the right place.”

We go out to reception where I stand in front of 2 receptionists who speak in German and totally ignore me, the doctor hands me some measly bits of paper with contact details printed on them and hurries away. Shaken from my bloody tale of woe I imagine she just sits in her office for 10 minutes alone obsessively sterilising her hands and shuddering.

I continue to look at the 2 women in front of me who carry on as if I am invisible for a further 5 minutes, I tell them I’m going to the toilet and then coming back, they brush me off. More blood pours out of me. I return and finally they allow me to pay them, I plod back out into the rain and miserably wait for a bus, head home via the shops and climb back into bed.

WEDNESDAY

Is a national holiday, so I can't sort anything, my client offers me the day off, I take it. I make 9 drawings for my project, bounce the rough edit of the album I’m working on, pull myself to the dance studio I’ve started to rent to practise my live show. Have a long overdue singsong, though I can't really dance i can still sing.

Sunday edit: I’ve since missed 2 bookings at the studio because of this infernal bleeding, hope I can go back soon, it was utterly riveting to finally find a place I could sing as loudly as I wanted.

It's a glorious day even though blood still rains, I’m not cleaning, I’m doing what i really want to do.

THURSDAY

I need to be at my clients early, but I go via the apotheke on the way, there a pharmacist advises me on the best way to take iron and vitamin supplements, sells me ibuprofen and alerts me to the gynaecologist upstairs, but she’s only open till 13h, my job is supposed to finish at that time.

I hum and haa as I hobble to my clients and when I get there decide to finish the job early and see if I can get an appointment.

On the way into the building there's a system of doors, I enter alongside an elderly gentleman with a walking stick and we have quite the time not understanding each other, me holding doors for him, him very jovially propping them open with his stick. I have no idea what’s being said but something tender and wonderful is occurring between us that puts a lightness back in my step.

This reception is slick and clean, the receptionist is neat and elegant. But the doctor isn’t there. They wouldn’t accept my tk insurance anyway, they’re going on holiday till November.

Ok,

I leave and just flop down on the street outside, I’m supposed to be doing a double clean today but I have a 2 hour window before my next job, which is only a 15 minute walk away. I’m getting closer to seeing someone. Still crouched down on the street, still bleeding, I dig out the contacts handed to me, one is for a doctors I’ve called before. I call 2 numbers from the 4 sheets I have, both go through to hard voiced women who utterly refuse to attempt to speak English to me and relish the goodbyes they bestow before they coldly put the phone down. To the second one I say in English:

“I’m really sick, but if I don’t speak German I am just going to continue to be sick, is that what you’re telling me?”

I found a list on google, theres a male gynaecologist just up the road, a man rummaging in my lady bits is a bit disconcerting but truly I’m beyond pride now.

This reception is more modest, I place my cleaning bucket on the floor and then just start with

“I’m losing a lot of blood, can you please help me.”

He’s in.

These receptionists are gorgeous humans, they speak to me in broken English, they’re shocked I’ve been bleeding for 3 weeks, yes he will see me, please take a seat.

He’s a big warm man with no sexual energy, I tell him everything, I feel so grateful just to be able to see him that I’m bowing as I say thank you. I get sent to a little room, remove my trousers and knickers, get let into another room, climb on the chair, he inserts the spy camera dildo (ultrasound) device inside me, then on the screen we look at a ball like thing inside my womb.

Hes glowing when he tells me its probably a very early pregnancy, he’s so excited, though it’ll most likely be a miscarriage, but he paints a future where my little fetus determinedly survives the bloodletting and in 9 months time arrives in my life.

I cover everything in blood, which freaks him out.  

“You’re really bleeding a lot.”

He gives me the ultrasound photo, then after some confusion I go to the nurses and deposit a urine sample on the counter of another room.

“Thank you so much for seeing me.”

“Of course: you have been bleeding for 3 weeks.”

As I wait in the reception for the test results a new future, inconceivable before this point, rolls out before me, where I have the baby and take the government stipend to look after it as a single mother, I thought I didn’t want kids but something seems so precious about this vision. It’ll just be me and my little ball of love, together in some warm cosy flat in Prenzlauer Berg, surrounded by all the other Berlin mothers.

The test is negative, a jolt of dismay passes through me, the vision is shattered, I have to go to the hospital he says. They give me the bill, without proof of insurance I pay in cash, thanking the bear silently. He also tells me to go to my insurance and get a letter, because the hospital will really cost a lot.

So I go home, breathe and collect myself, go back out. Spend over an hour wandering around looking for a photo kiosk for my insurance card (not blind> I’m using google maps to try locate one), finally I find it nestled into a dark part of the s bahn station, it costs double what the machine costs but I just eat the charge, earlier I’d spend 30 minutes wandering around the crossroads outside Leopaldplatz: the fotofix on the map was apparently invisible, I need a picture. I then wait for another 30 minutes to have my photo taken.

When I get to the u bahn where tk is there is a fotofix booth right there, to my left as I walk out of the station, I really hold myself back from screaming and kicking over all the chairs arranged outside the cafe before me. I finally manage to call my sister and it's a glorious funny loving chat, cut short by the aforementioned man in the tk queue.

I tell him in english which he insists he doesn't understand, that I am having the day from hell and that was the first time I’ve managed to speak to that person, he abuses me again in German but then stands very far away from me, the shame weaving around him, I curse him, but its a little thing, just that I hope he gets eaten by spider babies.

Don’t take yourself too seriously.

I retrieve my letter from the receptionist, the same sales woman I spoke to on Tuesday who doesn’t recognise me at all.

It’s getting late in the day, I call back my sister and head to Charite Campus Mitte, as I get there it dawns on me this is where I was an extra on an art video shoot around 3 weeks ago.

There is no discernable entrance, it seems mostly deserted. I travel up in a lift towards the gynakolgie department, but when I exit the skybent box that is my vehicle there is no clear signage towards it, just a door to an emergency exit staircase, wind billowing behind it, with a note in fluoro yellow fixed on its metallic facade and a bridge / corridor leading to empty waiting rooms.

I give up, decide I’ll go to the address given to me by the doctors tomorrow. I’ll go home and sleep now.

Home, I eat then I crash, I get into bed at 19h, I’m still here its now 6am and I’ll try sleep a bit more before I get a taxi at 9am.

I’m scared

It’s like some sick version of the night before christmas, black humour and absurdity have been welcome companions but armour fades in bed, so writing this in the knowledge I will share it with the online community has been the only thing I can do to douse the fear.

I’ll probably have to beg receptionists later but I just hope I get to someone who can start to mend me, because the blood is still coming, for the first time since it started it stained my sheets last night but I’ve wiped them down a little.

Sunday edit: the sheets are now in the wash.

Saturday edit: they did see me, I’m having an operation on monday at 9:30, the saga continues because I have to rush back to the gynaecologists first on monday to get a note so I can be operated on : as by the time I got out of hospital on friday the gynaecologists surgery was closed and nothing is open on the weekends.

And on the anaesthetists form where it asked me who would be collecting me or looking after me for 24 hours after the procedure I stubbornly wrote noone. Though my mentor will be around as I swallowed my pride and asked her.

And, of course, I just expect more bullshit: that was my dads very astute advice:

“Expect more bullshit Felice.”

So then, yes I should speak German, yes I should of sorted my insurance, yes I’ve been irresponsible.

Saturday edit: I’ve been utterly irresponsible and disrespectful to the country I live in, I MUST learn German and make more of an effort to learn their culture, right now I’m truly an idiot abroad.

I might cancel all my jobs next week as well if I’m really sick, I might not be able to go to Krakow and watch Eartheater,

Saturday edit: All my jobs are cancelled, one of the days next week is my birthday, which I’d scheduled a double clean on so perhaps it’s not all bad.

But I’m not going to see Eartheater, if you’ve heard irisiri though ( LISTEN TO IT, I IMPLORE YOU, MORE THAN ONCE, on the first listen it’s quite harsh: https://alexdrewchin.bandcamp.com/releases) then you’ll immediately understand that not going to her show because I’m having my uterus forcibly wedged open and something cut out of it, is utterly appropriate, it’s like missing formula one because you got hit by a ferrari.

I hope I’ll be better by turin.

Saturday edit: very much.

I will still finish this project whatever happens.

Saturday edit: Now I have a week off it should help.

But I’m not 100% sure how I will make ends meet this month.

Saturday edit: Perhaps the polyp they cut out of me on monday is really an alien and I get paid hush money not to leak the story to the press.

I really miss the nhs, its a big soft Pugsy bear I just want to hug and hold and thank for everything it’s done for me over the years.

The german health system is an amalgamation of all these callous female receptionists, ignoring you and filing their niles whilst you just bleed out in front of them.

But still, I’m stubborn, its a test and i will overcome it whatever it is. I am not leaving berlin, I am standing taller, stronger and more powerful than before. I’ve experienced completely new angles and feelings this week, it’s been abhorrent but kind of sickly enjoyable as well. Life is always entertaining as it energetically throws its bounty of strangeness, cruelty and beauty (etc) at you.

It’s all good fun, even the dark days.

I’m going to try get a bit of shut eye now, might move my alarm back a little see if I can get 2 hours before i wake up to get a taxi.

Take care everyone, if you made it to the end then I guess thank you for reading as well, it’s a long fraught one this week eh?

[hgfstreamchats]

Delgo

ThebesAce hello! Me Hello, Thebes human! ThebesAce oh, thenightetc is waiting to be let in Me Hm, I'm not seeing a message. thenightetc Hi! Me Night human, hello! thenightetc I just reloaded the page and tried again. Me Rabbit's an aftport. thenightetc Apparently! thenightetc Ohhhh my.

ThebesAce oh this one hahah thenightetc Oh my god thenightetc This is amazing Me Alright! Is everyone ready for Delgo? thenightetc Well, THOSE look aerodynamic. Me Don't they just make perfect sense? thenightetc Maybe the planet has a very, very, very thick atmosphere. Me The majestic colonhead. Er Hmmmmm 😐 MORE aerodynamics Me This is the kind of race the Cybertronian expansion wiped out. we were right to do it. thenightetc You know, I feel like I should disapprove on principle, but... Me They look like Torkuli. thenightetc Imagine I'm wagging my finger at you, but insincerely Me Good compromise. thenightetc ThebesAce OH HEY WHO SAW THIS COMing thenightetc I'm going to go ahead and imagine these guys are bug-sized "Explaining" how they can fly With those wings and that gravity also yikes okay, so she has a selection of prosthetics Me Was she murdered or wasn't she? *Executed thenightetc Not executed--they were cutting off her wings, not her head Me Well, that's pointless. thenightetc Probably some horrible exile thing Me One that clearly won't leave her more vicious than before. ThebesAce Scorpion gotta sting, exiled royal gotta murder her obstacles thenightetc Why do they even have that feature in their dining room thenightetc Well, that was smart ThebesAce I KEPT EXPECTING TO HEAR MARIO NOISES WITH THOSE JUMPS thenightetc Ha! Surely not, the movie's named after him ThebesAce silly comic relief, he'll be around mocking you for at least the rest of the movie Me Can we cut something important off of this character too? Please? thenightetc I vote head. ThebesAce If we're lucky, it'll be screentime thenightetc "I'd literally rather die a squashy death" So, do YOUR races ever end like this? Me I'd give up racing if they did. ThebesAce Soooo is it just me or is this guy basically saying "Look, if we act like they exist we have to pay consequences for that massacre thing." thenightetc So they're Jedi, too Me Tell them I hate them. thenightetc God, yeah, why would ANYbody want TELEKINESIS. How lame is that?? Moving stuff with your mind? Booooooring. ThebesAce yeah just LET GO of the MASSACRE you are A SURVIVOR OF thenightetc The past is the past! Me Something something mercy! thenightetc For vengeance, a Jedi cares not thenightetc Shouldn't that thing he hit still be lying there? thenightetc I'm dying a little inside because I can tell this is the movie's romance Me These two have a more compelling romance. ThebesAce for real ThebesAce for real thenightetc Pffff, if he's on a winning streak then why's he need a loan. I assume that's practically treason, or something Me Time for another lesson on turning the other cheek! thenightetc Just sneak over to THEIR hideout and wreck THEIR junk Me Why couldn't the Autobots have been this useless and apathetic? It would have spared everyone vorns of grief. thenightetc Put up some graffiti or something ThebesAce your carnivorousness. That's an AMAZING form of address. thenightetc Does that mean they AREN'T carnivores? I mean... the lackey guys Me She looks like she's eating weeds. ThebesAce or she's just especially bloodthirsty thenightetc They've got teeth like humans Me She put on her classiest rubber pants. thenightetc ...Walking pineapples Jalaperilo Yo! thenightetc Hi! Me Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Why is everyone uggo? ThebesAce because the animation budget was just south of claymation thenightetc It doesn't really look low-budget, to me... just ugly art direction ThebesAce this was released the same year as WALL-E Jalaperilo I have never heard about this fiom before now I dunno if it got a uk release lol Me I like how he had all day to plan this weird date and that was the best he could come up with. thenightetc Right? Show her your jedi powers and yell at her about some dudes wrecked your temple's rock garden Jalaperilo Also, what was that explosion of anger at ger. What an abusive tool thenightetc Ladies love jedi powers and being yelled at! Jalaperilo I hate this generic film already Me Daddy Tightpants bought it because you were bad. Jalaperilo Haha! I never wanna hear "daddy tightpants" from you again Me You're welcome. ThebesAce stop repeating everything! Me Please, Primus and/or Unicron, take that one's thumbs. thenightetc This cost $40 million to make Jalaperilo Tell me 39.99million was spent on hookers thenightetc Could have slid some of that towards better writing Me Hah! Jalaperilo They deffo didnt have a cinematographer or storyboarders thenightetc Wow Jalaperilo So everyone has fantasy inspired clothes except the stoner skateboard er thenightetc oh my god He should have used his jedi powers to get it across the gap ThebesAce why is he so aggressively useless thenightetc hahahah Jalaperilo What was the point of that??? ThebesAce Stupidest king on the planet thenightetc This seems like a dumb way to do votes Like, what, whoever's the strongest jedi gets their way? Jalaperilo Dumb-go thenightetc Rude. Jalaperilo He is dumb though lol Me Feed them the squawking one. ThebesAce GREAT LINE READ ON THAT SCREAM thenightetc I'm rooting for the giant enemy crab Me Crab, crab! Go, crab! Jalaperilo I hate this so much. Its so generic. The characters are just furthering the plot and not geing characters. Its predictable dialogue and stilted anination make it boring. Its not even a good bad film thenightetc WOW ThebesAce yes. Let him be drained of his fluids thenightetc "you're definitely not covered in spinemonsters" Jalaperilo He wants his friend dead Me As do we all. Jalaperilo Racism Me They have the same faces, the same body structure. They clearly diverged from the same ugly ancestor. Jalaperilo Hasnt stopped humans Me Point, point. thenightetc What, so are those ones her original wings? Jalaperilo Does she wear other people s wings? thenightetc I think they're just made of cloth or something Me Those look like the originals. thenightetc I guess they let her keep them Me Did they just let her keep them as a momento? Jalaperilo Oh fuck ThebesAce Why is the comic relief still here? thenightetc And then she had them preserved?? Jalaperilo They fucking mutilate people???? thenightetc Oh my god Me Cue screaming as her wings come off. ThebesAce oh, yeah, big bad there got her wings got chopped off in the prologue Jalaperilo Maybe these people deserve to ge killed? ThebesAce they WERE responsible for a massacre they never apologized for Jalaperilo Im rooting for this lass thenightetc Oh, just thump it with your hand or soemthing Me She has style, a motivation, and a partner she clearly adores and is fragging senseless. I'm on her side too. thenightetc Idiot! Don't waste time. Jalaperilo Pity she suffers from neanderthal face like the rest of them thenightetc Hey, it's not nice to laugh at people's hilarious genetic conditions Jalaperilo Lol thenightetc Oh, what a shame, he's dead Forever Me Exactly. If you're going to laugh, you need to throw in some pointing. thenightetc Why is there an asteroid field Jalaperilo Cause they had a budget of 40mil? Time is fleeting and so am i. Good night chaps! thenightetc Goodnight! Me Good night! ThebesAce good night! REALLY REALLY. thenightetc Oh, so his jedi powers finally become relevant thenightetc Pictured: gravity thenightetc "you JUST got back from being kidnapped" thenightetc "DIdn't we... banish you?" "Oh, I quit when I heard about this!" Me "You quit...being banished?" thenightetc Oh no! How unexpected! Me How tragic and stuff. thenightetc So what's the dragon thingy exactly Aside from something the other guy, and then he, threw for a distraction ThebesAce I'll be shocked if they explain thenightetc Oh, so they're no tthe originals thenightetc Well, I think she'll have gotten the picture after that rescue thenightetc oh c'mon, the war is OVER her in the first place thenightetc Haha, he looks so embarassed ThebesAce I'm getting Jupiter Ascending flashbacks ThebesAce let her faaaall thenightetc C'mon, it'd be so convenient, right Me No one would have to know. thenightetc she's totally faking anyway she's totally gonna murder you ThebesAce She's spent this entire movie being literally and figuratively poisonous to everyone around her Me Goodbye, only interesting character in the film. thenightetc Well, it's almost over anyway Okay??? Me And then they devoured him, starting with the eyes or whatever other body part he values most. ThebesAce THIS MUSIC LIES. NOTHING in this movie was this adventurous sounding! Me And of course, some art of what could have been. thenightetc Ah, so this is why we blame. Me This is a long list of credits for something so pitiful. thenightetc Uh What are these "Mini 'Mator of Mirth"? Please. Me Very professional. thenightetc Well then. ThebesAce so that happened Me That certainly was an hour and a half we won't get back. thenightetc I feel like this is the inverse of that one movie The one with Little Red Riding Hood ThebesAce Oh yeah, Hoodwinked thenightetc thebes, you know the one I mean, I can't remember---yeah! Hoodwinked. Me Was that anywhere near as awful as this? thenightetc No, no! ThebesAce no, it was great! thenightetc The story is great. ThebesAce it just had terrible animation thenightetc The characters are great. It's just ugly as sin. ThebesAce that kinda made the woodsman's scenes extra hilarious though thenightetc It's... I'm sure they did the best with the tools available to them at the time. ThebesAce yeah, they had a rock bottom animation budget but the story, characters and human were really good humor thenightetc See it's the inverse because THIS has animation that looks fine, but the story and characters are bland/annoying. ThebesAce also, predictable as all get out romance where Hoodwinked doesn't even have a romance, just a bunch of characters who have a bad enough day the cops get involved thenightetc It's a lot of fun! Me Sounds unexpectedly amazing! thenightetc It really is! thenightetc It's the kind of movie that has you going, "well, looks aren't everything" ThebesAce yeah, the animation is the poster child of bad animation but it's a legitimately good, fun movie, not a so bad it's good one thenightetc Here's the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGV-cTSr6zg thenightetc "Granny, are you... a furry?" Me I see what you mean. thenightetc Right? Me Does anyone have any other suggestions to close out on? thenightetc We could watch some more SNL sketches! Looked like there were some fun ones "related" to the doll one ThebesAce Dragon Babies, for one Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc Oh my god ThebesAce this is so very on point thenightetc Wow hahahahah this is amazing thenightetc Oh! The narrator that ruined christmas? *I* want to see christmas getting ruined! also I haven't seen this before so it's not my fault if it's bad Me If it's good, we're showing it again at Christmas. thenightetc Oh, boy! Me Oh yes, showing this one at Christmas. thenightetc Well then. They're really not. thenightetc AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thenightetc I'm sure she'll be impressed Me I would be. thenightetc God Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc It's not good, though. ThebesAce oh god I laughed so hard at their misery my throat is cramping thenightetc I mean, it would be NICE if working hard on something automatically made it good... thenightetc What INDEED ThebesAce PRIORITIES thenightetc Oh my god Me I think that seems like a good place to leave it. ThebesAce yeah thenightetc It was fun, though! Thanks for hosting. 😃 Me Glad you liked! ThebesAce yeah! Me Thank you for coming! ThebesAce thank you! thenightetc oh... automatic emojis.... ThebesAce good night! Me Good night! thenightetc Goodnight!