#but thought it might get too philosophical? im not too into philosophy either so i kind of thought it might be too much

[teabutmakeitazure]

I had so much fun reading burgeon. Chrollo is such an ass I love it. I loved how reader was not buying his shit in the beginning. Chrollo also made his scheme to get reader for himself way too complicated. She already said yes she'd date you, why do you need to turn things up to 100? (Also I couldn't help but imagine chrollo flipping through recipes when he was deciding what nen ability to traumatize reader with🤣)

Reader's reaction to him approaching with zero warning was warranted. If a random handsome stranger sits at your table without even asking to, it'd be pretty awkward or just plain uncomfortable 😬

Chrollo was trying his level best to convince reader that he just wants to make friends whereas reader is thinking, "I'm pretty sure this guy's messing around. Oh well, time to shake him off!" But he just changes answers till reader gives in lol. We know better than to trust handsome men 😤

Also!! Making him as bastardly as possible was an absolute pleasure 😌. There's just something spiritually, emotionally and mentally fulfilling about writing such characters and I just *clenches fist*. My personal favourite was the "yeah but do you stab?" scene. It's probably the absurdity of the situation and timing of the joke

Chrollo's decision to go over the top with his 'courting' was a little funny to me as well. Reader literally says that there's no opposition to the idea of a relationship from her side and Chrollo still goes, "Hm. I'll kidnap her. It's more fun." Honestly, I'm guessing he chose that course of action simply because he wanted to play around (I wrote the fic, why am I guessing?)

Lastly!!! The image of Chrollo flipping through Bandit's Secret like a weekend magazine was exactly what I was trying to convey! He just looks over the abilities and goes, "This is too over the top. This one's mid. Eh, this one's too bloody. I can't have her faint, so skip," and so on. He's looking for an ability that'll be perfect for scaring reader but also not leave a mess since there's always the chance of passing out before it's over so he was taking his time 😌

[yourbleedingh3art]

Emailed my former philosophy/logician professor and was like I’m working on a personal project I want urbacademicninput LITERALLY sent that email in a half delusional state where I thought I was doing gods work But I’m like ok what I’m doing is important but I’m like what if my “project” is just Mania induced scribbles and I’m bout to show up tmrw like So here’s my theorem on the innate goodness of humanity ISNT it awesome and he’s gonna look at me like oh Please seek mental help . Like I feel liek im either absolutelt fucking off my rocker or I’m on to something but now I don’t know anymore cuz I let that self doubt creep in and now my feelings are unclear even to myself.. either way I am just gonna stick to the plan my crazy self had when I sent that email and I might just level w my teacher like. Honestly im in a ptsd related spiral right now and it’s hard for me to tell if my actions are logical whatsoever but also im scared because if you don’t know what you are and you admit that to somebody they’re gonna tell u what u are. I just don’t like how people hear “mental health issues” and run with it and this type of attitude leads me to tjink professionalism equals Lying about the truth of the emotional state ur experiencing . Belief leads to me pushing a lot of stuff down and when I begin to doubt myself all those feelings I’ve pushed down start to bubble up too. That made me scared as well , I’ll be too emotional to properly explain myself when he has questions for me, even though some ambitious part of me believes in the work I’m doing , believes in it enough to answer any questions about it, to author that answer with confidence and belief in myself. I just don’t want him to be like you’re absolutely crazy I can’t possibly help you prove your theorem on a philosophical or logical level you have shown me the ramblings of a psychotic hermit please leave. I guess that would be the worst case scenario. Or if he somehow gets me to admit I have homicidal thoughts snd then theh send for the stretchers and the loony bin

[unkn0wnl0v3]

Day 8 ✿ Sep 22 ‘20

I just talked to Cat all morning about like books and philosophy. I like books and philosophy ALOT. I like it more than fish and water. If I could I’d have my own private library. Agh! I fucking love books. I also really like fish and aguaculture. Jobs I’d commit to when I’m older is editor, fish breeder or teacher. However downsides to that job is: editing is a job that might not be alive in a few years, fish breeding is hard and expensive if you don’t have a market and teaching may also be an obsolete occupation in less than a decade. Personally these jobs would be good if it was like the >2000’s. Now every job will either kill you or die before it can. Maybe like a teacher in a private school or a freelance editor. However those jobs are hell if you choose to work for the wrong people. So fuck it I’ll be a fish breeder. Even though School marm for a private school sounds amazing. And editors can read all day. I have Mr today. I’m excited cause he’s always fun to have(09:10)

‘Sorry for only letting you know now but I will be staying in your class. I thought about it and realized two things. 1. I get low test scores regarding state tests, so that’s probably why I’m not in an honors class. Besides this if my state test scores are that not good then maybe I should be in a regular English class. 2. If I worked my butt off and did the quality of my work like that consistently It’s really crazy to me that test scores make me end up in a class totally different than what my mind needs or whatever; so I’ve met the conclusion that If it’s not the test that got me here or just like human error is that Fate and the universe(or god if you believe in them or whatever you think makes the world go spin) needs me to be in this class. Whether it’s to meet you, or a classmate. Number 2 is a pretty complex philosophical idea however I believe in it more than everything else. Also I purchased Flowers for Algernon a while ago and it only came recently. From my memory in your slide thing it said you liked it(?). Well it’s very good so far and it’s making my brain do a lot of thinking. Like my brain is literally imploding from reading it and thinking about all the other questions it indirectly acts. So that’s just a side note I wanted to add cause I’ve only had it since yesterday and I’ve already rambled on about for like over an hour to a friend who hasn’t even read it.. and I’m not even done yet! Oh well see you in a bit:)’... I wrote this to D in regards for the whole not switching out. I truly did forget about ever buying this book for five bucks on thrifted books back in like August. And I had only remembered buying it after he added it to his slide thing about like getting to know him. I kinda hate like having to have so many ideas and stuff in my head. Like right now I have so much in my head. Three key things are the philosophy of love, god and science. Those three are always in my head but for some reason everything’s just touching and mingling. I feel like I’m disappointing people who I should love but is it any matter if I disappoint them cause they never loved me before. Love is complex whether it’s sexual or romantic or all of the above. How can I like my teacher. He’s just a school teacher who’ll dissapear from my life before I know it. However what if it is fate.. God and science always correspond when trying to understand one of the other. Like what I’m thinking right now is if interfering with gods stuff really is worth it. Like if we hate gmo corn so much why are we trying to fix genetic disorders or mental stuff idk. I’ll say more later I’m too hungry to think.. (12:46)

This class is like boring as fuck. I like him as a person and as a teacher BUT I DO NOT LIKE HIS CLASSSSSSSSS. If I like consume his class outside of class yes fun nice wow! But if it’s in Class this fucking zoom SHOOT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!! Like when I talk to him outside of Class it’s fun it’s wow:) but this Class makes me want to die. I wish it was Face to Face Class so I could just daydream about eating him out. However i can only see his Face and his hopelessness during these zooms. Fuck me. (13:16)

Yk i’ll be so bored but I never fucking listen in Class. Maybe if I listened Class would be less boring. (13:27)

Oh my God im so Smart, well we know that already but i was the only one who got this dumbass question right. Like im literally amazed at how dumb these people are. Wow! I Love this Class. Im Smart as fuck (♡´౪`♡)(14:11)

Earlier I went to Petsmart with my dad and we got the biggest most beautiful fish tank. I’ve already added rocks and two little accessories. As for the lights and filter I just finished working on it. It was hard as fuck to do everything but I got it done so I’m happy:)... I’m so excited to get fish and enjoy the tank and have a cute little pet(s)! I wonder what D’s favorite pet is. He seems like a dog person who grew up with cats all his life.. but would never own a dog irl. He’s a turtle dude I bet:D!! I was talking to Cat and she was joking over my type. And I was like “guys that do the dishes and do chores” like my standards are so low a seven year old could reach them. However they’d also have to be able to discuss topics and ideas I find interesting. I couldn’t date someone who was dense or uninspired by the lack of answers in the universe. I think that’s a big thing for me, someone who can talk to me about things that other people try to avoid. That’s why I’d fall for a teacher. I can only see them as knowing plenty of not all. So I’d have to have faith that they can have these convos. So I chose the hottest young blonde of all my teachers and called it a day. Ah Im fucking tired(22:30)

[westphotolukedas]

Production Journal - Being John Malkovich

210220

Being John Malkovich (1999) is a haunting film that asks viewers to surrender to a fantastically absurd premise. It was Spike Jonze’s directorial debut and he received an Academy Award nomination for such a bold undertaking. The plot follows Craig Schwarz, a struggling street puppeteer, his affectionate wife Lotte and his office infatuation Maxine. Relations between them cycle between attraction and repulsion when they discover a portal into the brain of John Malkovich. Its intrepid moments of comedy were met with praise and fascination from critics. ‘Put simply, Being John Malkovich just has to be one of funniest, cleverest films of the year, a Fabergé egg of comic delight,’ were Peter Bradshaw’s closing remarks in his review. (Bradshaw, 2000)

Director of Photography Lance Acord (Born 1964) is Jonze’s long term collaborator. Between them they have the hipster credentials to deliver trendy music videos, independent films and Hollywood blockbusters. With Being John Malkovich (1999) they developed a visual language which was darker derived from traditional set ups and framing. ‘We shot most of the scenes very simply. We didn’t have that much time to do them, and instead of breaking down each scene into ten setups, I wanted to spend my time getting performances from the actors,’ Jonze explained in interview. He continued, ‘That was a conscious decision, but I thought it worked for the movie - not to make it big, flashy and overly into technique. Lance can confidently and quickly work with little equipment. And, also, he doesn’t care so much what his peers are going to think.’ Given that the film explores such abstract concepts, it is largely due to Accord’s efforts that the viewer is able to suspend disbelief and lose themselves in the cinematography. (Macaulay, 2019)

Being John Malkovich (1999) has philosophical appeal for its portrayal of same-soul theory - a model of Cartesian dualism that suggests individuals identify with a consciousness unique to them. In essence, a person may be themselves within the vessel of someone else. The functionality of the portal may be likened to a cerebroscope - a fictitious device capable of relaying the contents of someone’s brain to another individual. The film addresses this phenomenon by switching to an occluded camera view analogous to peering through a periscope. The feeling of voyeurism is elevated by drawing attention to Malkovich’s bodily processes akin to the auditory effect of an isolation chamber. In a comically pedestrian scene, he orders a bath mat and scours his kitchen for Chinese food; however, the cinematography makes the act seem supernatural. Several levels of this interaction are explored when Maxine has a date with Lotte as Malkovich and Malkovich enters the portal to witness his own conscious mind in a perverse paradox loop. The filmmakers breech the fourth wall and meander either side of it to the point that it is accepted these characters are familiar with the real actor John Malkovich and his friend Charlie Sheen. (Koch, 2011) (Shaw, 2006) (Weinstein, 2008)

Summary

Jonze’s classic film takes time to develop layers of reality that act as a platform for facets of philosophy and science. In comparison, my film will be minutes long and undertaking anything of the same magnitude would be ambitious. I would like there to be a change in the rhythm of the footage that I will create with my own production technique. During an email conversation with lecturer Teemu Hupli, we discussed this issue and the potential avenues that I may partake.

‘Something has been ringing in my head since we spoke last Friday, and I want to voice it. You said a sentence in our chat to the effect that ‘the toil’ behind finished pieces of dramatic art (by which I understand films, plays, TV performances of various kinds) is ‘often not seen’ and your proposed project would expose that side of things. I am not saying it is often seen, but I would suggest you research the basis of this assertion. We do have films / representations of the work that goes into making pieces of dramatic art - cinema by now has a lot of them e.g. Synecdoche, New York, Being John Malkovich, Mulholland Drive, Inland Empire, and theatre has messed around with the fourth wall at least since the modernist times. In general, the idea of exposing the structures ‘behind’ finished products of art falls under the broader rubric of self-reflexivity, which has become a relatively widely used strategy for slightly more experimental dramatic art. I did mention structuralist film in our chat, which was based exactly on that idea, although it was not always about exposing the toil of actors alone, but often focused on the materials and editing structures of film e.g. Michael Snow’s Wavelength, which is essentially one very long inward zoom with marginal - literally in the margins of the frame - events occurring in the room.

I believe it would be important for you to acknowledge that your project might be operating in the context of such experiments in film / theatre. This is not to say that you should not follow your idea, but that you need to ensure that you are as fully cognisant as possible about the art / film historical context in which you work, in order to develop a clear sense of where you might be doing things similarly and / or differently from the context.’

Production Notes

An original musical score by György Englert provides some clue that Natalie might be an actor playing an actor. Lady Gaga’s Shallow (2018) and Joseph Arthur’s In the Sun (2003) were the inspiratory prompts that I gave him. I like the way both songs become more upbeat as they progress; however, melancholic accents are apparent throughout. Englert’s gypsy jazz roots contribute a playful quality that is also implicit of these shifting intentions.

After the title fades the film begins with a conventional shot seen in television interviews - framing tight to the subject and emphasising facial gestures. There is a second shot positioned further away to add some variation and then photographs from Natalie’s career roll across the screen. Momentum is broken for the first time when she slips and I encourage her to recuperate her thoughts. In the last scene of the interview there is an inaudible background comment from me, although this might be too elusive for the viewer to notice. These remarks were left in the final edit to break the fourth wall - the actor and the director are aware that they are part of a fictional narrative. In the scenes that follow, I added extracts from the scratch audio that are revealing of the filmmaking process. A focusing error while Natalie drinks tea was also left in. An early commercial cut of the film had these parts removed. It had a more mainstream tone and the intentions of the piece were lost. My peers encouraged me to be bolder with my post-production choices and this was the right direction for the project.

Being John Malkovich’s (1999) cerebroscope is recreated in the line reading sequence. The audience has a first-person view of Natalie’s performance as if they are me. There is a familiar fluidity to the play that she exudes. She waits in anticipation of her opening gambit and then launches into the role. Glances down to the paper script and then back to camera were the exact nuances that I wanted to capture. Scratch audio of me monotonously rattling off lines is heard at the start and then there is a fade away to a voice over. I selected the passages about her acknowledging nerves prior to a performance and method acting to superimpose over the visuals. Both give insight into the feelings that she may be experiencing in real time. Various edits exist where the scratch audio was omitted or faded out at a later frame. Feedback from these versions led me to believe that my speech was needed to frame the situation. Finally, I am pleased with the way that Natalie’s staring eye dominates the closing shot before the next scene.

Bibliography

Bradshaw, P. (2000). Bonkers but Brilliant. The Guardian. Available from www.theguardian.com/film/2000/mar/17/1 [Accessed 10/04/2020]

Koch, C. (2020). Consciousness Redux - Being John Malkovich. Scientific American, 22 (1), 18-19

Macaulay, S. (2019). I’m In You - Director Spike Jonze and Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman Talk Being John Malkovich. Filmmaker. Available from www.filmmakermagazine.com/107755-im-in-you-director-spike-jonze-and-screenwriter-charlie-kaufman-talk-being-john-malkovich [Accessed 10/04/2020]

Shaw, D. (2006). On Being Philosophical and Being John Malkovich. Journal of Aesthetics and Art Criticism, 64 (1), 111-118

Weinstein, L. (2008). The Perverse Cosmos of Being John Malkovich - Forms and Transformations of Narcissism in a Celebrity Culture. Projections, 2 (1), 27-44

Final Cut, Manual Mode, 25 fps, WB Natural Light