#like I’m gonna get attached

[gatoburr0]

[yourbleedingh3art]

Emailed my former philosophy/logician professor and was like I’m working on a personal project I want urbacademicninput LITERALLY sent that email in a half delusional state where I thought I was doing gods work But I’m like ok what I’m doing is important but I’m like what if my “project” is just Mania induced scribbles and I’m bout to show up tmrw like So here’s my theorem on the innate goodness of humanity ISNT it awesome and he’s gonna look at me like oh Please seek mental help . Like I feel liek im either absolutelt fucking off my rocker or I’m on to something but now I don’t know anymore cuz I let that self doubt creep in and now my feelings are unclear even to myself.. either way I am just gonna stick to the plan my crazy self had when I sent that email and I might just level w my teacher like. Honestly im in a ptsd related spiral right now and it’s hard for me to tell if my actions are logical whatsoever but also im scared because if you don’t know what you are and you admit that to somebody they’re gonna tell u what u are. I just don’t like how people hear “mental health issues” and run with it and this type of attitude leads me to tjink professionalism equals Lying about the truth of the emotional state ur experiencing . Belief leads to me pushing a lot of stuff down and when I begin to doubt myself all those feelings I’ve pushed down start to bubble up too. That made me scared as well , I’ll be too emotional to properly explain myself when he has questions for me, even though some ambitious part of me believes in the work I’m doing , believes in it enough to answer any questions about it, to author that answer with confidence and belief in myself. I just don’t want him to be like you’re absolutely crazy I can’t possibly help you prove your theorem on a philosophical or logical level you have shown me the ramblings of a psychotic hermit please leave. I guess that would be the worst case scenario. Or if he somehow gets me to admit I have homicidal thoughts snd then theh send for the stretchers and the loony bin

[fumifooms]

What if we were both magic prodigies and it otherized us in different ways and we devoted ourselves to protecting a family member who has general other goals & priorities. What if we both did self-sacrifical devotion in opposite ways.

What if we were dark mirrors of each other and where I've grown overcontrolling you've grown complacent. What if, bought as a servant into a pretty loving home, ownership and control is what love looks like to me, and to you neglected and lonely growing up, love is gratefully taking any scraps of it you’re lent.

By belonging to someone, even if she comes back injured or fails at finding Delgal, she feels like she belongs and is cherished, by owning someone he feels safe in them not leaving him.

She’s what’s tethering him do you see… And he’s the only thing giving her direction and purpose in her state. She needs a compass and he needs a support.

They’re both so out of it 😭 It’s the weirdly intense and unearned mutual trust and reliance on each other?? They’re each other’s weird little comfort codependent teddy bear. Or at least they were headed towards that before SHE DIED THEN HE DIED THEN THEY BOTH FORGOT ABOUT EACH OTHER AND NEVER MET EVER AGAIN. Though she’s also the guard attack hound keeping him safe… And vice versa he heals her and can rewrite her very being with just one wave of his hand. They’re both so so mentally and physically vulnerable both but they cling onto each other. They can’t perceive things accurately but despite it all someway somehow they stumble into something closer to resembling companionship just before they both die. Falin is just that kind and Thistle is just that lonely. Overworked. We both haven’t lived for ourselves in a very long time, haven’t we.

They both have a similar devotion to the people they love but again the difference is that Thistle starts overtsepping while Falin is self-effacing. The other difference between them is that people care about Falin <3 People have given up on Thistle long ago, and he has given people reasons to, while people refuse to give up on Falin. Yaad has a mini arc about it dw about it it’s ok he’s not all alone in the end 😭😭 He reached out for Marcille’s hand but they already all wanted to help him, they just had to be given the chance to, Yaad just had to be given the chance to, it’s okay I’m okay

Hey what if we learned to get in touch with our own identity and the world around us and living in the present again through being in the worst codependent situationship ever.

Falin and Thistle sitting in a tree, sucking on flowers together because they’re h-u-n-g-r-y 💕💕💕

I bet he’s only ever thought of flowers as useless ornaments. Weak weeds. But she shows him they’re tasty and useful and good and pretty in their own right too and deserve existing without proving their worth and waaa <33 Thistles…... Did you know thistles taste sweet if you remove the thorns and eat them?

"Even as a chimera, her kind nature remains" you can’t suppress her in the way that matters. You can’t soothe him in the way that matters. It’s doomed. You’re doomed. It’s all doomed. Save me.

[padfootastic]

my sirius & harry thought of the day:

harry kept that firebolt alive for all 137 years of his remaining life through sheer willpower and magical strength. he did not let a single twig of it die off. not only was he absolutely unhinged about taking care of it, not letting anyone near it after 5th year, but he also basically single-handedly reinvented the field of broom-crafting just so he could keep his godfather’s gift to him alive. he didn’t do anything with this skill, basically driving everywhere who knew him spare bc !!! ‘harry do u know what u just did? most brooms don’t last over 6-7 years, not even a fraction of that if used at the pace and frequency as u. if u could just—‘

and he just flat out shuts them up bc how does he tell them that the reason his firebolt is still alive is bc sirius’ love runs thru it and harry would die himself before he let it bc he can’t lose the last piece of sirius he has left. he cannot perform this miracle on any other broom, tho he can probably make the single best non-sirius-gifted broom that the WW has ever seen just bc of how extensive his knowledge is now

and the thing, right, is he doesn’t keep the firebolt locked up in some display like some artefact. sirius would’ve never wanted that. his dad would’ve hated it. brooms were meant to be flown. so fly, he does. wonderfully. it’s forever his primary broom and he puts it thru all the paces, keeping up with all sorts of newer, flashier, pro models w utter ease.

it’s like this: when he uses this firebolt, it feels like perhaps he has his godfather back for just a second. and harry is forever weak to that feeling.

[unfortunatelyilikebnha]

Bnha makes me so mad because it could’ve been good. It had a lot of good aspects. But in the end none of them were satisfyingly resolved so it just feels bad.

[nat-without-a-g]

Lowkey/genuinely hoping that when Will Campos says Milton Grammar is a “weird” kid, it’s gonna turn out he’s just undiagnosed neurodivergent and not... Dangerous. He’s not apart of anything more nefarious or spying on people, he just can’t tell when a conversation is over.

[sapphoismymuse]

i love recognizing characters in rings of power cuz it’s like “omg yay!! elendil and isildur!!”

…

“oh no… elendil and isildur…”

[achingly-shy]

netflix should be legally required to announce how many seasons i show is going to have before i start watching it

[verana115]

I really don’t get people who use AI to write things for them and then drop them in their work cause like, call me old school if you must, but I like knowing that every word I put down on a page is my own and represents a clear intention on my part - and if anyone wants to question/challenge that, I can come back with a reasonable articulation of why I did it that way

I get that busy work doesn’t always get this standard (even from me), but I can’t imagine just handing over all that agency and autonomy of self-expression over to some mindless bot that may or may not spew out garbage that could tank the readers trust in you - even if you remember to edit out the “this is an AI language model” that I see in so many papers and articles nowadays

Where’s the pride in your work? Where’s the feeling of accomplishment or improvement? Where’s the rich process of refining what you write down into a final product that you feel confident enough to attach your name to? Where’s the glancing at your final work and saying “I know this isn’t perfect, but I put effort into this and I’m not embarrassed to have anyone else read it”? Where???

And this is all ignoring the fact that ai is trained on masses of work that artists and writers neither consented to nor were compensated for their inclusion in the process, and that by using these models, you’re helping the tech bros who stole these artists’ and writers’ work to get rich

[art-from-the-juice-box]

here he isssss it turns out i could have done this wayyy sooner cause i had a pokémon saved to his section on my pinboard that has been sat there for weeks that i forgot about lol. i assume i figured out who he’d be after i posted the other two and then just forgot i did? anyway he’s here now :)

[alluralater]

haha. i’m lowkey in danger of becoming obsessed with this woman and we don’t even know each other what the fuck

[sugarsnappeases]

KARA PRETTY PLS I NEED TO HEAR YOUR MARYTUNIA!!!!

HELLO!!! i would be delighted to go into them i’ve been thinking about them recently (and i’ll let you in on a secret: i’ve been slooowly writing another microfic about them…. it’s august. tis the season yk)

for me a lot of it is just what ifs. i don’t think they could ever really be forever bc a) petunia knows ultimately that she's going to go back to her white picket fence, husband and children and an intensely Normal life even if she's gotten swept up in this thing w mary (and i think mary knows this on some level too) and b) the whole lily shebang. lily is so deeply caught up in everything that happens between them. her sister and her best friend. she is the thing that brings them together and pulls them apart. the beginning and the end, catalyst and inevitable conclusion. everything that happens between them is always a secret from lily, she never knows about it but she’s still a Major presence in their relationship.

the vision i think about the most is mary coming stay at lily's house during the summer holidays. and she's bubbly and brilliant and she watches petunia w something like fascination bc obvs lily has spoken a little about her sister before but mary doesn't really know anything about her. god does she want to tho. petunia is watching her right back bc she's never met anyone quite like her before. bc mary sparkles and makes petunia feel and they fall into this summer fling. nobody knows but them, it's all stolen time and mary sneaking into petunia's room late at night after lily falls asleep, sitting up and chatting, ankles twisting together under the dining room table, lemonade and strawberries, secret smiles and little walks around the park when lily's off doing other things.

it's quiet, and gentle, but it also shimmers and engulfs them and opens both of their eyes to . something . something that could be, a sort of fantasy world, where magic doesn't mean jealousy and bitterness and horrible resentment, where lily doesn’t mean endless arguments and competition. instead there’s this dazzling woman who makes magic feel light, like possibilities and hazy summer sunshine. there’s petunia who is obvs not lily, but mary doesn’t want or need her to be. it’s like seeing into a different world. secret snippets of something wonderful.

but it can never last. bc mary will go back to school, with lily and magic and that whole world that petunia doesn’t belong in (interesting later when mary withdraws from the wizarding world. again. the what ifs). and petunia will go back to the path that she had always planned to follow, meeting a man and settling down and being normal normal normal. and neither of them are the type to try and fight for something that was already so nebulous, to try and desperately cling onto each other when they never even really had each other in the first place. it slips through their fingers and they both let it. it’s hope and brightness and something rising quickly and falling just as fast. like a hot air balloon that’s precious and colourful and soaring high but must inevitably go back down to earth.

i also like to think about them post lily’s death. when they’re both grieving in such different, complicated ways and lily is arguably even more of a presence between them than before (classic lily amirite? more alive in her death etc etc) and they can never go back to that summer, it will only ever be memories. that’s all they really are. a handful of snapshots in time that they think back on w a sort of bittersweet nostalgia. it never could’ve worked but what if it had. it’s all fantasy in the end.

[lemonmatronics]

I only have 10 episodes of Jem and The Holograms left before I finish the series what’s the point of being alive after that

[milkymooshi]

Gonna finally watch season 4 and 5 this week and see how things end. I swear to god if I spend my two days off crying bc of what happens I will eat my window. I’m so nervous for Ed and Oswald’s relationship bc I’m so emotionally invested in them it’s not even funny.

I’ve read some posts that season 4 is like everyone’s divorce arc and idk if I’m emotionally prepared for that. I watched JJBA (Jojo’s bizarre Adventure) in highschool and sobbed so much for a week straight after Stardust Crusaders that I got sent to the counselor’s office for concerning behavior.

Someone tell it’s gonna be ok please 😭😭😭😭

[torawro]

MY EYES BURN BECAUSE I’M CRYING😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 pls leave me be let me sob uncontrollably over giyuu my heart can’t take it

[orions-beltloops]

apparently I’m the most incorrect doctor who fan of all time bc I just watched silence in the library and forest of the dead and I fucking hated it. actually the first ep was mostly fine but the second one I didn’t care for. River Song fills me with fucking rage god I genuinely can’t stand her character. she was so annoying. and the fact that she’s probably gonna come back??? I wanna scream. but I looked up the eps to see if other people liked them and apparently they’re like beloved episodes. yikes for me. also ig this was like moffat introing what his writing for doctor who was gonna be like so I’m not looking forward to it now I’m kinda afraid I’m not gonna enjoy his style. and I loved a lot of things within the episodes and I agree with a lot of the points people praised, but I left the episode really unhappy. I think I just really like what the first few seasons have been and the stuff next just might not be my vibe which is disappointing bc I’ve really really loved finally watching Doctor who. I think it’s so funny to post my takes on this shit like fifteen years too late lmao. anyway I’m probably gonna get unfollowed by fellow doctor who fans for this sorry guys. but also if you disliked these episodes hit me up so I feel validated you’re correct and I love you.