#but tonight at 1am i got emotional and apologized again and told her i miss her and love her and hope shes doing okay

[chrisevansszn]

MAKE IT LIKE IT WAS PT 4‼‼

Shit is getting real 😳

Thank you for the likes. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am!!

1.3k word count‼

It has been a rough few day. You and Chris are sleeping in separate rooms, the baby can definitely sense something is wrong, and you have yet to return to work. You have been working from home and rescheduling clients and lying saying that you are ill. You decide to go into work tomorrow. It’s Friday and then you are free again. Chris came up to you last night, and you guys had a conversation. He expressed how much you guys marriage means to him and that he was willing to do anything. You both agreed to therapy just to see if this is even salvageable.

 

You wake up the next morning and get dressed. Since its Friday, jeans, blouse, and heels of course. Maxwell is already gone with the nanny. “Good Morning”, you say to each other. Not much more. It was hard walking into your business…embarrassing the least. You hold a meeting and apologize for your actions. Nothing more, nothing less. You get your day started, and the phone rings. It’s Mateo. You decline it. He can call Chris for whatever he needs.

 

The weekend goes by.  It’s Monday morning, and it’s the first counseling session. You found Dr. Grant on the internet and ran with it.

 

“Good Afternoon, and welcome”, she says so politely. You both respond. “Can I get a little history about you two and tell me why we are here today?”, she requests. Chris is doing all the talking, why should you?  You both are on opposite sides of the couch, nowhere near touching each other. He’s the reason why yall are there.

 

“Chris, what was it about the other woman that made you choose her?”, Dr. Grant asks.

Chris is floored, and terrified to answer. “Um….I really don’t know”. “Chris you have to be honest here. Y/N deserves to know”. “Well…um…I guess because she was something new… and different”.

 

Your heart sunk and your head dropped. Instant tears are streaming. That hurt and bad. Chris sees your tears and puts his hand out to touch you, but then stops. Dr. Grant picks up the tissues and you grab a couple.  

 

“Chris, why did you stop yourself from consoling your wife?” “I am not allowed to touch her right now…”, he replies. You get yourself together. “Y/N, tell me how you feel.” “Like I want a divorce…I’ve already contacted a lawyer and everything”.

 

“YOU CONTACTED A DIVORCE LAWYER??”, Chris yells. His eyes are wide open, he couldn’t believe it. “Y/N, are you serious”, he asked. You look at Chris. “Yes, I got all my questions answered about the business, the house, and my baby”. You tell him without emotion.

 

“Ok Chris, calm down”. “What is stopping you from taking the next step with the divorce Y/N”, the doctor asks. “I  want to be around by baby every day, and Chris says he wants to make it work”. “I’m trying”, you reply. You both finish up the session, and head home. The car ride is silent. You guys arrive home, and Chris walks into the kitchen to grab a drink.

 

“I had not a clue you were serious about the divorce lawyer.”, Chris says as he takes a drink.   “I told you I was Christopher”. “I can live without you and Maxwell. You both are my world.”. You look Chris in the eyes and go upstairs to take a shower. You are feeling pretty rebellious tonight. You text your best friend, Brittany, and ask to go out for drinks and she says yes. You put on a beautiful black form fitting dress, open toed heels, and do your make up. You walk downstairs and see Chris playing with Maxwell.

 

“Where are you going dressed like that?”, Chris is irritated looking at you from head to toe. “Out for drinks, I will be back later”.

You grab your purse and keys and walk out. You left out at about 8:30PM. You and your friend go to a local bar to get drinks and to dance. A couple of men flirt with you and you flirt back. You both are dancing away on the floor. You can even remember how many drinks you’ve had. You look at your phone and its almost 1AM. “I have to go. It’s getting late”, you say to Brittany.

 

You make it home safely, but you are a little more drunk than what you thought. You stumble out the car when you hear screeching tires. It scares you but you continue to walk up the driveway. Next thing you know, someone is grabbing you from behind. You are doing your best to fight back. You are yelling “get off of me, and help”, but no one hears you. The two men throw you in the back of the car and begin beating you. You hear the car take off and you are just screaming for help and for them to stop. They continue, fist after fist to the head, back, stomach. Everywhere. It seems like it lasted forever. Then the car stops. One man drags you out and leaves you on your front yard, and they speed off.

 

What just happened??? There is blood everywhere. You manage to get some strength and crawl to your front door.  You ring your doorbell…over and over. You are leaning against the door, and it finally opens. Chris catches you. “OMG Y/N, WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?”, he yells. Chris looks you over, two black eyes, a busted lip, scratches and bruises on your face. He lefts up your dress and you are bruised and bleeding.  Chris has a lot of connections, so he calls up a friend who is also an ER doctor. “I NEED YOU TO COME TO BY HOUSE Y/N HAS BEEN BEATEN BADLY!”

 

The doctor arrives and takes a look at from head to feet. You are bruised pretty badly but the main issue is that your ribs are fractured. You have to take it easy for a while and will be wrapped up for some days. Going to the hospital wasn’t an option, this would-be all-over town. The doctor leaves, and Chris helps you out of your clothes and runs you a warm bath. “Honey, who did this to you?” “Chris, I don’t know. I just made it home from the bar and two guys grabbed me, put me in their car, beat me for what seemed like an eternity, and then threw me in the front yard”. You are crying nonstop. Everything hurts so bad. “Two men? Fucking Mateo! That’s who did this. I am going to fucking kill him! I forgot to get his money to him the other day. That fucking bastard is dead!”. You have never seen Chris so mad in his life! His face was extremely red, and eyes were such a dark blue they were almost black. Chris is shaking as he tries to wash all the blood off of you. He gets your dressed in one of his t-shirts and lays you in the bed.

 

“Chris…please don’t leave me…I’m so scared to be alone”. “Baby, I’m not going anywhere I promise.” He moves your hair back and kisses your forehead, and then lays next to you in the bed. Oh, how he missed lying next to you, holding you, kissing you, and making love to you. The doctor gave your medicine for pain, so you fell asleep quickly. Once Chris realized you were out, he got out of the bed and went downstairs to make a phone call.

 

“Hello”…

“Mateo, you are a dead mother fucker!”……

[thebuckysoldier]

Identical Monsters - chapter 3

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Summary: The reader is new at the compound and doesn’t talk to anyone there. She befriends Bucky over a shared trauma all while trying to find her own place in the compound. 

Word count: 1.2K

Warnings: none

Identical Monsters - Masterpage

After a few more moments he let you go again and signaled for you to try again. 

“And at least try this time” He said with a breathless chuckle.

This time it was him who thew the first punch. You easily avoided it and threw your own, landing it on the left side of his chest. You saw him take a deep breath.

“Did I… hurt you in Ukraine?”

You tucked a loose strand behind your ear, showing a small but deep scar.

“A result of the muzzle of your rifle, and you ruined a pretty dress”

He was about to open his mouth, to apologize, you knew, you had heard the stories about him. And you had even felt the tension between him and Tony.

“Don’t” you simply, but sternly said.

“But-“ He started to say.

“I said don’t” You said but this time softer. “I don’t want nor need to hear your apology”

He just gave you a quick nod and threw another punch. Just seconds later you were laying on you back with him on his back between your legs, making sure he was unable to move. He patted your thigh and you let him go.

He shook his shoulder with the metal arm, like it was bothering him, which you could imagine it did.

“Does it hurt?” You asked, gesturing towards his metal arm.

“Not as much as it used to, the doctors call it phantom pain, I just think it’s stupid”

You nodded, letting your arms down. Signaling him that you were done. He saw this as an opportunity.

“Never let your guard down while you’re in the ring” he said while trying to get you on the ground. But it was him who was in a hold at the end of his sentence.

His back was against your chest and your mouth was next to his ear.

“I don’t let my guard down” I told him, almost whispering. Your words made him shudder, he could almost feel your lips on his ear, only making it worse. You walked out of the room after and the only thing he could do was watch after you.

After letting out a bit of energy with Bucky sleep still didn’t came fast, but at least it came. Not long after you had shut your own door you heard Bucky close his own, he slept in the room on the opposite side of the hall.

The next few nights went just like this one did. You couldn’t sleep and when you went down to the training room he was always already there. You trained for a bit, barely talked and then went back to your room to sleep.

But it was one night where you came down in a knitted sweater and shorts, you weren’t planning on training tonight. You had started your period today and didn’t feel like training, at all. But you also weren’t sleepy yet. But what you were, was craving some ice cream.

You stopped in the doorway with your sweater covering your hands and most of your shorts, Bucky hadn’t noticed you yet. His back was turned towards you and he was hitting a punching bag. The tight, white shirt he was wearing accentuated the muscles in his back in the best way.

Of course you had noticed how handsome Bucky was. His long brown hair that looked very soft had you wishing you could go through it with your hand. But you also loved it when he wore it up in a bun, that way you could see his face better. And you didn’t even have to start about his biceps, they probably were a little smaller then you head and you found them amazing.

You crossed your arms and watched him for a little bit longer. He reached for his phone to look at something and then watch directly at you.

“Have you been standing there for long?” He asked and you noticed his eyes taking up your unusual appearance.

“For a while, yeah” and you could help but bite your bottom lip, trying to suppress the smile that wanted to take over your features. But it seemed nearly impossible when he smiled at the ground himself. You hadn’t seen him smile often, but it was a sight you really enjoyed.

“Not a soldier but a spy, huh?” he asked you with the smile still plastered on his face.

 And you nodded your head.

 “I wasn’t planning on training tonight” you started softly.

“I could tell by your outfit” He answered while grabbing a white towel from the ground and using it to dab away a bit of sweat.

“I saw that there still was some ice cream left” you started again. You were never the one to have friends, you actually never really had a friend. This thing with Bucky was the closest thing to a friendship you’ve ever had. “So I’ll be in the kitchen, if you’d like to join me”

The words came out awkward but soft. Bucky thought you looked shy and maybe a little out of place. And he was absolutely right about you, you felt out of place, you had never done this whole ordeal before, ’asking someone to hang out with you’.

But here you were, a little past 1am in the kitchen grabbing two spoons and the carton that held the ice cream. Silence fell upon you two but just like the first time, it wasn’t uncomfortable.

Bucky looked at you, you were using your spoon to get a little of vanilla ice cream off the side, but the ice cream was stubborn and didn’t do what you wanted. You let out a quiet huff in frustration and he couldn’t help but laugh.

Your head shot up in surprise. He looked at you with a soft smile, “So, why are you no feeling like kicking my ass tonight?”


You let out a breathy laugh, “Honest answer?” He gave you a nod.

“My cramps are killing me” you rose your shoulders while saying it.

“Ah” he responded, getting lost in his thoughts. The comfortable silence fell upon you two again. That was until he started talking again.

“My sister used to get them real bad too. I used to hate it when she told me about it. Now I just miss my sister.” You slowly nodded your head, you didn’t know for sure but you expected her to have passed already.

“Is she still among us?” You asked carefully, not to hurt his feelings. You knew how other people got emotional over their families and you felt bad for him, hurting him wasn’t your intention.

“No, not anymore”

“I’m sorry” you said to him sincerely, offering a warm smile. You wanted to ask him about back then, the time before the Second World War. But you didn’t want to sound disrespectful.

“You can ask you know. I know you want to, I can see it in your eyes” he told you, and you began wondering if one of the things HYDRA did to him was making him able to read minds.

“What was it like back then? Life before the war?” You asked softly, but excited. He looked you in the eyes and he saw pure curiosity.

“Better than it was now” he said while a sad smile plastered his face, “But that may also have to do something with this”, gesturing to his arm.

You nodded, “What was the best part?”

A chuckle left his lips, “The girls, everything was cheaper, I actually had friends”

“You’ve got Steve? And the others” You questioned him.

“Just like you’ve got the others, right?” You knew what he meant, around the others he didn’t really talk either, just like you.

“But they like you, I can tell”

[chapter 4]

[writingthegoodwrite]

Forgiveness Part 1

Wonho x Reader

A/N If this is familiar to anyone it’s cause this was from my old account, I couldn’t remember my login info for the longest time, but go figure now that I have a new tumblr I remembered the email for the old one. 

I hope you enjoy!♡

You were nearly asleep when you heard your phone ring a painfully familiar song. You didn’t expect to hear it, though you used to look forward to hearing it every night around this time. You hadn’t heard it in nearly two months. Since your relationship with Wonho fell to pieces.

Since you found him in the arms of another woman.

Part of you wanted to not answer, to let him think you’ve moved on. The other part wanted to tell him off and let him know just how much pain he left you in. You had rehearsed countless times what you would say to him if he had the nerve to contact you again.

The latter side won out and you swiped a shaking finger across the phone and prepared to let him have it.

“H..hello? Y/n?”

Your words died on your lips when you heard the broken greeting. The only time you’ve heard him sound like this was when he talked about how he worried about his family while he was a trainee.

“I know you don’t owe me anything, but please, can we talk? Y/n?” His voice cracked on your name, he sounded like he was in as much pain as you were in, but also, he sounded resigned that you might not be willing to talk with him.

“Yeah, I’m here. Look, what do you need so late, Wonho?” The words felt strange, heavy even, in your mouth. One, you never before would have questioned him calling so late. This was your time, your nightly ritual while he was touring. And two, you never called him Wonho when it was just you two, even if you had fought, he was your Hoseok.

Was.

Not yours anymore, so if you were going to pretend you had moved on, he was Wonho.

You could tell it hurt him when you used his stage name, the name people used when they weren’t in his inner circle. His breath hitched, and he let out a sigh.

“I’m sorry…’” he whispered. “I hurt you and I can’t change that, and now I’m making you listen to me and bringing it all back up.”

You steeled yourself. You had to be strong. He destroyed your heart. Your trust. You couldn’t give in to the instinct to comfort him.

But still there was something there in his voice, something that made you stay on the line. “So, you’re calling to apologize? It doesn’t change anything. Why now? Why wait so long?!” Your feelings were threatening to boil over, but you had to hear what he had to say. If only so you could properly move on. “What do you expect me to say? You cheated, you threw away all our years together, our plans for the future, and in return I get a ‘sorry’?!”

“Y/n, you need to know what really happened. I never cheated on you. I never would.” He paused to sniff, “You know me better than that.”

So, he’s going to deny it, now? Fine, should be interesting, he never was good at lying anyway. “No, Wonho, I thought that I knew you better than that. But I saw you two together in her dressing room. She was all over you!” You found the tears that you had tried to force back, spilling over at the bitter memory.

“It wasn’t what it looked like, y/n, I swear.” His voice got stronger with conviction as he continued to explain what happened. “Our manager told us to be nice to her because she was debuting that night as a solo artist and didn’t have band members to lean on for support.”

You rolled your eyes and your anger got the best of you. “How very accommodating of you! Do you always support the new debuts by shoving your tongue down their throat?” You normally would have regretted the venom that you heard in your voice but while you wanted to hear him out you also needed to let your pain out.

“Please, y/n, I went to talk with her and give her some advice, but she threw herself at me crying. I’m not heartless, I let her get it out of her system. Then we sat and shared training horror stories.”

You knew the girl, you had met her briefly several times. She was a ruthless trainee, she didn’t get along with anyone. Everyone was her rival. But she was incredibly talented. So, after several years at not working out in trial projects with other trainees, they decided to debut her as a solo artist.

As hard as it was to get close to her, you suspected it was because she knew she had to succeed. Her family put everything they had into her training. She couldn’t disappoint them and leave them with nothing. That must be why they got along so well, and she confided in him when she wouldn’t with the other members. They both had the desperate desire to take care of their families who put their everything into them pursuing their dreams.

You let out an exasperated sigh before asking, “So how did that lead to what I saw?” You started to suspect that perhaps you misread what you saw. She had looked you in the eye through the mirror as she latched onto him and you couldn’t break eye contact with her. You had been in shock. You didn’t even wait for an explanation, you just left. You couldn’t bring yourself to look him in the face before you stormed off.

“She must have misread my kindness, and then she just threw herself at me. It was weird though, because I could have sworn she knew we were together, every time she saw us we were together.”

You smiled at his innocence. He hadn’t noticed the deliberate look she had shot at you through the mirror.

“She knew what she was doing, Wonho. She saw me there.” You wanted to hate her, but you actually felt for her. You saw how that life takes its toll on the mind. “You were the only person she felt she could relate to, so you were probably her next goal.”

Wonho made a thoughtful sound while he contemplated what you said.

“Why didn’t you try to talk to me before now?” You felt warmth wash over you heart knowing that he hadn’t, in fact, cheated, yet you still felt like there was a something missing. “Why now?”

“Your face,” he whispered, “I could see how devastated you were, and it tore me apart that you could believe I would do that to you. After everything we had been through. I couldn’t bring myself to ever put you through that again and I didn’t think you would listen to me. I know how it looked…”

He was right. He did know you, you had felt broken and there was no way you would have listened to him. Hell, you didn’t even plan to listen to him tonight. You answered so that you could make him know what he put you through.

“So, what now?” You cringed while you waited for his reply. You didn’t even know what you hoped he would say.

“Can you forgive me?” You never heard this voice before, so devoid of even the smallest hint of hope. “I get that I screwed up. I never should have let you feel that way. I should have chased after you and explained the situation.”

“Why didn’t you?”

“She said that you would need time to breathe before you would be willing to listen. She convinced me I would only hurt you more. That with my lifestyle and schedule you might be better off without me. That you deserved someone normal.”

You snorted, “And I suppose she probably also suggested that you would do better to find someone who can understand your world? Someone in the business?”

He let a light laugh slip and you could feel him returning from the broken man who dialed you tonight. “Yeah, something along those lines.”

“And? Do you agree with her? Would you rather find someone else who could ‘understand’ your world?” Your throat was feeling dry, so you wandered into the kitchen and filled a glass with water. You waited for his reply, feeling insecurities start to creep in when he didn’t immediately answer.

“That’s the thing, y/n. I uhh…better get off the phone. I’m about to see that someone. I finally have courage to tell her that I’d like a future with her. I just had toー”

You fell your heart drop to your toes. Now you felt all the life go out of your own voice, “Get my forgiveness first?” Ever the honorable one. You leaned on the counter not sure you could hold your self up anymore.

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t make a confession without it.” He actually sounded relieved. You wanted to throw up.

You weren’t even listening anymore. You had your explanations, and now you could move on. You would be damned though if you let him think he hurt you again. At least let him have his happy ending. Your chest tightened painfully as you said your goodbyes. “Well, good luck with that, I hope she returns your feelings.” You ended the call before he could say another word.

And before you could even put your phone down on the counter there was a knock at your apartment door. You looked down at your phone suspiciously, and saw it was after 1am.

There’s no way…is there?

You walked lightly to the door, so you wouldn’t be heard and looked through the peephole to see nothing, it must have been the wrong apartment. You let out a sigh and leaned your head against the door, letting the stress and pain of the evening in and feeling a surge of hot tears spill down your cheeks.

Then there was another knock and again there was nothing. You eased the door opened and looked down and your world suddenly stopped feeling like it was spinning out of control.

Wonho was kneeling on the floor with a bunch of daisies in one hand and a carrier with two very large coffees in the other. He looked up at you with red eyes and smiled, “Can I come in?”

You eyed the coffee and shrugged, attempting to look indifferent, “Depends…one of those for me?”

He laughed and now matching tears were spilling down his cheeks, he bowed his head and rested it against your hip and you watch his back shake while he tried to control his emotions.

You knelt down in front of him and he put down the coffee and flowers and you both wiped tears from each other’s faces.

“You’re here. I thought you found someone who can understand your work?” You didn’t care how swollen and red your face was, because he sported a matching look, you just smiled at him and continued to touch his face. The face you were convinced you would never touch again.

“You understand me 100%. You always have. It’s what gave me the strength to call.” He paused to push my hair back that was sticking to my wet face. “Cause no matter what, you know me and had to know deep down that I would never want anyone else.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and breathed him in, you had missed this. You were jostled when he wrapped his arms around you and stood up not letting you go for a second.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long to find my way home.” He had his cocky smile on, but you could see the insecurity in his eyes. “Could you learn to love me again?”

You laid your face on his chest and melted into him, cherishing his heartbeat. “I never stopped.”