#but yeah it is bc it's like this for me all the time nd ig that triggered me lmao

[silenthillbunni]

sure i want friends but like only in theory not in practice ._.

[girlwithfish]

2day was a lot i feel like im doing my best and i hope its ok but its also just work so wjo cares. and i feel bad when i mess up or dont lnow something but im new and they put me w an even newer girl w 15 2 yr olds it was not a good dau

[wiinterbunny]

🧸🎀

[junkie-virus]

rlly feeling izzys “EKE by” speech rn

[hoshigray]

MAPPA gave Nanami such beautiful hands that they never fail to make you feel things.

a/n: Bye, the trailer JUST came out, and I can't get over how good they made Nanami, so I'm writing out this to put myself together. @satoruhour pushed me on to write this so ty swee-T-pie, love u sm 💓 this is just like when they released that hidden inventory trailer and i drooled over Toji's hands help 💀 so yeah this is just me writing a short smthn for kento's hands, sorry not sorry. also tysm for 1.9k!!!

cw: Nanami x fem/afab! reader - first soft then smutty, so minors DNI - h@nd h0lding - soft dom! Nanami bc yes - fingering (f! receiving) - hand kink (ig?) - fingers in reader's mouth - pet names (angel, love, sweet girl) - praise - clitoral play - you and Nanami in a cute domestic relationship ♡

wc: 950

You love Kento Nanami's hands. It's no secret to yourself because it's the truth. But you can't blame yourself; you can't help it! There are so many moments with him where you can't help but admire the man's big hands, and honestly, it's embarrassing at this point. It's a guilty pleasure that makes you feel such pleasant emotions, makes you want him more and more.

Even before the two of you expressed courtship, there were days when you'd encounter and have idle chitchat with the stoic man, and those were days that were hard to go through when you had such a tremendous crush on the guy. So much so that you'd drift your gaze away from his feline mocha eyes masked by his eyepiece. Instead, you'd look at his hands, admiring how beautiful and big they are. Aside from his face, they were the only thing visible from his dapper suit. Not that you complained, though. The more you saw and talked with Nanami, the more you marveled at his hands in your thoughts.

And when you two finally started dating, things were going slow and steady. Just as the two of you wanted — no rush at all. But a memory you hold dear to your heart was when the two of you walked home in the cold winter. The chilly breeze sent shivers down your spine, and your nose found breathing tricky in the extreme temperature change. Not to mention you forgot your mittens at home. Just my luck...

However, it wasn't all that bad. After all, your boyfriend (it felt a little weird calling him that) offered to walk you to your place, sticking close to your side, which was a rarity back then. Heat finally found its way up to your cold cheeks when Nanami took the initiative to grab ahold of your hand with his, the size difference making it easy to exchange warmth. "Here," he said so nonchalantly it almost felt like a dream. "Don't want the wind to blow you off the sidewalk." It was such an airy gag from the usually silent man, yet you chuckled and held his hand tighter, the cold overlooked throughout the rest of the walk.

Even watching him doing the most ordinary things is a sight. Whether he's washing dishes, making the bed, or cutting vegetables for the next meal he was cooking for you two, your eyes would always find their way to his deft hands. Rugged palms moving swiftly and gracefully, veins that stem from the back trail upwards to his forearm, and thick fingers with scars so faded with time that you'd have to be very close to see them. You're so in love with him — with his hands. They make you feel safe and secure, warm and loved. Specifically in times when you two are close to each other. Whether it's you resting on his chest as he reads a book while rubbing circles on your back or holding hands with you two walking around the vicinity, it couldn't get any better.

...Well, perhaps now as you're lying on the bed with your back to his chest, succumbing to his touch as one hand cups your cheeks while the other burrows inside your panties — his fingers intruding between your folds and playing with your leaky entrance staining the underwear with your come.

"Ooooh, Kentooo..." You moan to his thick digits in your vulva, scraping your spongey walls that result in high wails. He rubs your cheeks and maneuvers your face to the side so he can lay kisses on your neck, and you melt under his lips with a blissful hum.

"Open your legs a bit more for me, angel." His command is hushed to your ears. You follow his instructions and spread your legs further apart, and he rewards you with another finger added to your chasm. Now both the fore and middle digits slide deep into you, and the brush of his thumb on your clit results in sudden wails. "Good, that's my sweet girl."

His fingers graze your insides expertly, having you writhe on him with how good he's making you feel with just his fingers alone. The speed of his digits increases by the second, and you can feel the wave start rising in your body. Your body jolts with every scrape of his fingertips, pornographic whines fly out your mouth, and your face gets hotter and hotter.

"Haaaah!! Mmnnn...Kento, I'm so close. 'S so close, I'm—Mmmph!?" You don't get to finish that sentence when Nanami stuffs his free fingers into your mouth, your tongue immediately coating the two digits with your saliva.

"Go on, come on me, love." His sweet words were what it took for everything to come crashing down, the fingers in your cunt quicken in pace, and his thumb flicking on your clitoris — causing you to grab onto his forearm. Scratching the clothed limb and heavy pants drawing inward, your cunt clamps around on his fingers as your orgasm comes to pull you in for a euphoric release.

And Nanami lets your body experience the shocks on top of him, laying precious kisses on your temple and cheeks. He slowly removes his digits from your satisfied cunt with a whimper from your puffy lips. "Did so well like always, angel." In your daze, you still share a smile and welcome his lips on yours.

Like you said before — Nanami's hands are your guilty pleasure in more ways than one. And it feels so good to know he reciprocates those desires with mutual love. If such a gorgeous and attentive man can have you under him with just his sheer touch, then so be it.

[ohlovxr]

distant lands and dungeon masters | eddie munson x fem!reader

you don’t know anything about that game your boyfriend loves to play, but that doesn’t mean you can’t indulge in it with him… even if it does feel a bit ridiculous.

words: 2k

c.w. fem!reader, p in v sex, roleplaying (ig? once the goofy shit’s over, it kinda just stops yk + the costume is literally just a slutty medieval dress thing that we’re gonna pretend associates with elf bc i suck with that kind of detail. k? k.), oral (fem receiving), fingering

masterlist

tina gets full credit for the “i love you” during the orgasm thing. her mind is literally gold and i wanna give her the biggest smooch all the time for it. oh! also the bodice of the dress is one that rests under the boobs yk (and this is important briefly lol). and also i suck at descriptions and titles and intros to fics lol so i apologize

Eddie’s laugh rang through the trailer.

The sight of his girlfriend sitting atop the kitchen counter, leaning back on your hands, and wearing a familiar looking, but very little, elf costume is what invoked it.

But it wasn’t real laughter, no. It was a laugh of disbelief. One that came out from a mouth so very dry because of the soft flesh that exposed itself as the short skirt you wore rode up when you crossed your legs in a painfully awkward way you weren’t used to and the way the brown bodice of your dress pushed your cleavage up and on display just for him.

One that came from a guy who believed he had to have been the luckiest fucker in the world to have a girl willing to indulge him like this.

“I happen to be lost, good sir,” your voice came out airy - nervous - and you would’ve felt increasingly ridiculous had your eyes not trailed down to see a very large tent in your boyfriend’s pants. “I’d been hoping to find the help of a skilled… of a, um…”

Eddie’s lips were quick to upturn into a wolfish grin before he whispered into your direction, “Dungeon master.”

You nodded slightly, giving him a shy smile in thanks, and straightened your back as you spoke again, this time more confidently, “I’d been hoping to find the help of a skilled dungeon master.”

Eddie hummed, his grin ever-so-present and his eyes gleaming with unbridled joy. “To?”

It has to be the first time in your entire relationship with him that he’s actually managed to keep his mouth from running - and it just had to be to torture you.

“To… To help me find my way back home.”

“Ah,” Eddie had begun to edge closer to you and your legs uncrossed without you even realizing, thighs now resting flat on the counter and feet swinging nervously. He gestured around dramatically, speaking in a grandiose manner, “You come from a distant land?”

“Yeah! Yes, um,” you cleared your throat, “And I’d… uh, I’d be willing to do-” your legs parted slowly for him “-anything to pay you for…” your brows furrowed slightly before you lit up again, “for safe passage!”

He fits between your legs like a missing puzzle piece and his rings burned against the skin of your thighs when he gripped onto them. “Anything?” his words came out low and playful, his eyes trailing shamelessly over your cleavage and back up to your face to meet your eyes. “I’m afraid a dungeon master such as myself is a little more technical than creative. You’re gonna have to get specific, little elf.”

The statement had laughter bubbling in your throat that you barely managed to restrain in order to get your words out straight, “Not creative? Eddie, you-” The expectant look he gave you made you stop mid sentence, your lips forming a silent ‘Oh’.

“Well,” you resume with a small smile, sliding your hands up his chest and locking them behind his neck, playing with the hairs there, “I’d let you have me any way you wanted.”

“Yeah?” Eddie’s voice came out low and quiet, his hands sliding up your thighs as yours had begun to scratch at the nape of his neck. His eyes drooped at the sensation.

“Mhm,” you continued, “I’d let you put me into whatever position you like ‘nd flip this skirt up,” you brushed soft curls back and brought your lips to his ear, “I’d let you fuck whichever hole you wanted ‘till you stuff me full of your cum,” you laughed softly when he groaned out a loud “Fuck” before you added on cheekily, “Oh, great one.”

The sound that came out of him next was strangled, sounding next to inhuman, as the fingers that trailed all the way up your skirt were met with your bare pussy, lips already wet and clit swollen with want.

His fingers ghosted through your folds before a rumble came from the back of his throat. You pulled back to meet his gaze and was greeted with yet another mischievous smirk. “Why, what a naughty elf!”

His voice sounded ridiculous - three pitches too high with what was his attempt at an overly dramatic British accent - and another spout of laughter bubbled in your throat. This time, your giggles echoed throughout the room - and Eddie’s laughs were quick to join yours.

You managed to laugh until you were both breathless, faces close and lips ghosting over one another. Eddie let out one last chuckle before whispering, still using that stupid accent, “And why, pray tell, do you still laugh, dear lady?” His hands hike up the soft rich green coloured fabric of your skirt for good measure. “I believe I still require payment for my services.”

“You do? Oh, you do, don’t you? Ah!” You yelped, giggles still following every sound that came from your mouth, when he pulled you to the edge of the counter by your hips, urging you to lie down when his hands pushed your legs up by the gripping at the backs of your thighs and leaving you open for him. Heat spread over your cheeks when you felt his breath hit your pussy and you told him breathlessly, yet cheekily all-the-same, “Y’should take your payment then, dungeon master.”

His voice still edged at the line of weird when responded, but your cunt still flooded with slick, “With a pretty pussy like this, how could I resist such an offer?”

It’s messy - like it always is. He eats you out like a man starved - his tongue gliding through your folds and fucking into your fluttering hole until a mixture of his spit and your slick are running down his chin and your ass, dripping onto the edge of the counter and the floor. His lips latched onto your clit and one hand left your thigh to fuck two thick finger into your cunt, forcing a cry from your lips.

His fingers curled up, rubbing incessantly over your g-spot, and your walls clenched around them. His mouth left your pussy and you pushed up onto your elbows to meet his gaze half way. Your cheeks flush in embarrassment when you’re met with the state of his face; his lips swollen shiny with slick and spit, his chin dripping with it too.

A devilish grin never looked more fitting on someone. His dark eyes gleamed dangerously as leant forward, his body casting a shadow over yours, and connected his forehead to yours. His lips met yours in a series of messy kisses, his tongue tasting of you, and you’re both moaning into each other’s mouths; you because of the fingers that continued to work your pussy and him because of the sight you were to behold. He pulled away and laughed lowly, “Beg for it.”

You were just at the brink, he felt it and his thumb hovered over your sensitive clit. You whined softly, “Eddie…”

“C’mon,” he singsonged before he leaned back into you, fingers stopping their movement and his thumb only pressing down onto your clit, tone suddenly turning desperate as he pressed his head to yours again, “c’mon, c’mon, c’mon, pretty girl, just beg for it. Beg for me to make you come and I’ll do it. I swear I’ll have you dripping down my fucking wrist ‘nd then I’ll stuff you full just how you like it.”

“Please, baby.” Tears pricked at your eyes when his fingers began to pump inside of you again, the wet squelch of your pussy taking the thick digits echoing throughout the room, and his thumb began to rub light circles into your clit that had you whimpering. “Please make me come!”

His other hand left your thigh and the sound of his fly being unzipped echoed through the room. The length of his cock slapped against your inner thigh and your eyes shot down to see him, the fat tip red and gleaming with precum.

“Want you to fuck me with that big fucking dick, Eddie,” you spoke through gritted teeth, walls clamping down around his fingers as you got impossibly close, “‘till I can’t fucking see straight.”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie didn’t try to hide his awe with a whisper. He stared down at you with eyes full of wonderment and lust, committing the way your eyes fluttered closed and your nose scrunched up to memory for the thousandth time as you came around his fingers with a cry of his name. His voice was loud and needy - his cock jumped against your thigh. “God, I love you.”

He was impossibly quick to rip his fingers from you and guide his cock to your entrance, pushing in with ease. Your walls, swollen and spasming, molded and gripped onto his cock like a lock to a key.

His thrusts started up immediately, desperation guiding him, and the lewd sounds that were both your pussy gushing around him and his balls slapping against your ass echoed through the trailer.

His hands were back on the backs of your thighs once more, but this time pushing your legs further towards your chest. Still, they were separated enough for him to get his fill of your pussy swallowing his cock, watching as you painted a pretty white ring onto the base of him, and your breasts.

“Hold your leg up for me, baby, please.” Without a second thought, you listened. You brought your hand up to grip the thigh that Eddie released. Now, his hand was free to pull at the fabric that covered your breasts. He groaned in satisfaction, eyes widening in appreciation, “There my girls are.”

You whined as the cool air hit your nipples, but the warm hands that palmed at them quickly made up for it. His thrusts picked up just to watch as they moved against the force of them.

Another grin found its way to his lips as his eyes trailed over your body before he had to pull his bottom lip between teeth to stop the sudden ‘Fuck!’ that was bound to escape him after your pussy clamped down around him with a finality he knew all too well.

Eddie looked up to find your eyes, noting with pride at how glassy and hooded they were because of him, and his hand moved down from your breasts to thrum at your clit - your vision blurred, the knot in your belly snapping with a pitiful cry from your lips.

“That’s it,” his voice broke with the second word - the way your pussy spasmed around him and attempted to milk every drop of cum he had yet to give impossible to ignore - and he had to clear his throat, his voice more desperate than ever, “you like coming on my cock, baby? You look so fucking pretty when you-” he moaned “do.”

“Yea-” your breath caught in your throat when he gave a deep thrust. A triumphant laugh escaped his lips but that didn’t stop you, fucked out, words slurred, and all, “Well, I think I look prettier plugged up with your cum, Eddie.”

A breathless laugh came from him, though his face conveyed nothing but him attempting restraint. “Stop, or-”

“Always feel prettier walking around with you dripping down my thighs.”

That did it.

He gave a strangled shout as he thrusted into you for the last time, a dragged out “fuck” leaving his lips in a lazy drawl.

You both moaned as his cum pumped into you; you because of the fullness and warmth that spreads through your core and him because of the walls that clamp down around him to bleed him dry for real this time around. You bit your lip to fight off a small giggle when you felt his balls twitching against your ass.

He let his body fall over yours as you both caught your breaths. With a grumble, you fought off the messy curls that crowded you, a smile rising to your face when you felt Eddie laughing into your neck.

When Eddie finally got his breath back, he lifted his head and offered you a weaker version of that devilish grin with a hum. “We should invest in some elf ears for the next time, cutie.”

[seokjinsonlyone]

Hiya! I found your tumblr bcuz of an mtl I found you had written! Would you take requests for mtls bcuz I have one lol? Most to least likely in bts to be an overprotective boyfriend?

HEY GIRLY HOPEFULLY MY RESPONSE DIDNT TAKE TOO LONG!!! it’s a struggle to put all my thoughts into words most times but yeah u can always send these in!! i like to think about these things!!!

now when you say overprotective i’m thinking in like a possessive machismo kind of way but also in a wants to shield you from the world type of way so

tae: 1/2 of the hard no for the perilla leaf debate and that tells me that if you with this man he gon be observing you and your interactions with others closely like you can’t be just acting any kind of way and doing any kind of thing 😭 he just not having it at all like he knows he don’t own you but at the same time you’re HIS and he just has a lot of thoughts on what’s best for you bc that’s all he wants fr and he’s sorry if he’s overbearing about it sometimes but anyway yeah unless u just like crazy ultra submissive expect a decent amount of “light fights” in your future 💀

jk: i literally just came across one of his replies from ig and the army was like “i was sad but you came so i’m better” and he was like “who made you sad? 🤨 HUH?! BRING THEM HERE” and that just tell me everything i needed to know fr. also 2/2 of the hard no for the perilla leaf debate like if you rolling wit him he just got to keep you close like don’t go too far or do too much

joon: i don’t know if you’ve seen extraordinary attorney woo but if you have he’s the type you gotta “woah woah” pretty frequently bc one thing bout joon is he gon take care of it like i just think about how he is the number 1 army defender like every time someone say sumn off about us he like 🤨🤚 hold awn now especially that whole james cordon situation like i won’t even up in arms but the way he stuck up for us was so hot so he just really not gon let anyone pull up on you any kind of way in fact he gon go out of his way to make sure no one does ur his queen nd will be treated as such

jimin: this the same man that pop up every couple weeks just to tell us to dress warmly and not to catch a cold so there’s definitely a measure of protectiveness there but overly? not necessarily mostly bc he makes it so hard for you to focus on anything but him like in a room full of people everyone could be looking at you but you’re only looking at him so why should he worry? however there are times when people try things that make him :\ or when he projects his own insecurities onto you or the people around you and in those cases he do be acting up so there’s that

hobi: physically i think he wants to put you in a bubble like if he could just trap you in one and lock you in a room to make sure you’re in top condition at all times he would do that like he’s definitely the type to come over with three different medicines and some soup if u said your throat was a little sore or if you had a sneeze but when it comes to other people? tbh if u going for a night out with the girls he’s probably helping u pick out your outfit and he’s photographing you before you leave his only problem is that he’s only getting a glimpse of you for the night and when you get back you’re probably gonna be too trashed for him to fully enjoy you like he believes in you and the relationship y’all have built together for sure

yoongi: he has a couple of hard no’s on things he thinks should or shouldn’t be done things that bother him for whatever reason but really that’s it like he don’t sweat the little stuff he knows you he trusts you so it’s cool not afraid to pop off on someone else if they being real persistent tho

jin: mr worldwide handsome is not finna be policing u at all if you not with him he is somewhere playing games like what reason do he have to be all over you? you have been specially chosen to be with the only 10 in a world full of 8 and belows like if u mess around that’s on you 😹 and he not getting with anyone who ain’t got common sense like he’s just real confident that you’re a strong independent woman who knows where home is

[mariusroyale]

Okay this isn't like probably something worth your time but I wanna say it cause it is about Raph and I talked to my brother about it yesterday and thought you'd like to hear it

So as far as I've seen, in Rise, Raph seems to have a hard time with animals, or at least that's what the fandoms given since Mayhem didn't or isn't a fan of him (excuse me if I'm wrong, it's been awhile since I've last watched rottmnt and my memory is always funky, I just remember based off the first episode)

Anyways, I had this realization (and it's not a first probably, but y'know), that a reason animals don't like him/attack him is because they see him as a threat. He's an alligator snapping turtle, that's enough reason alone to get hostile, but being a mutant on that? We've seen him ofc, he's huge, to animals he's a predator of all sorts!

Poor guy loves them and they're afraid cause to them, he might just eat them

It's not some analysis work, honestly I'm probably thinking too hard considering again I've only seen what the fandoms done and Mayhem attacking (and that alone could be because they were afraid entirely cause, well, the entire episode they're being chased), I also guessed it was suppose to be some joke considering 2012 Raph is great with animals, but my nd brain can't sit still on the little things without wanting to add to it, so ig technically knowing it's probably just the fandom doing it's thing rather than canon, that this is my take on the idea (not original, I'd add, haven't seen anything on it having to do with what he is but I ain't taking chances/lh)

oh yeah I’ve seen this before!! i also think it’s interesting to note bc in the first ep he’s literally cooing over mayhem (guhhh i love him so much *sobs*)

and then proceeding to b like “what? animals love me” i think i don’t remember the line exactly

but still

the thought of him being like aaa!! cute animal!! and then said animal growling/being hostile with him bc he looks so threatening even without meaning to (LIKE. SPIKES. BEEG.) makes me a bit emo ngl

also. any raph ask while I’m in this fandom is absolutely worth my time. i can talk about this big ass turtle and how much i adore him for hours

[windose20s]

OH THOSE R SUPER COOL TALENTS [also sorry i did not see ur answer earlier tumblr hates me <//3] thank u random generator ig jwbdhehhdhd

i think the makoto route for sayaka cld work nd be pretty interesting imo ! i was nvr rlly a fan of the lucky student concept but yeah :o

also makoto being shsl heir is so funny to me [ALSO also im excited for sakura hehehhe]

YEAYEA!! also its ok :D

yeah!!! i’m thinking she has generally good luck all the time but nothing big (acing a test she didn’t study for, finding lost items not too long after losing them, etc) but every once in a while (every few months, probably) something bigger happens that’s bad luck (losing her house key while her dad is out of town, getting punished for stuff she didn’t do in school, etc).

its basically the only way i can find the luck concept…..interesting? because komaeda’s luck cycle may be extreme but it’s really simple either way and makoto has just super bad luck and it just so happens to work in his favor occasionally.

ALSO yeah heir makoto is so funny. i feel like he just lived his Average Life bc even though his family’s rich they didn’t let the kids know and lived normally and just went “lol btw you’re the heir to like, a bunch of money” and he’s like “HUH?!?!?!?” (i’d have to make out a way to make him worthy of him being shsl heir and not just. a heir that just so happened to be picked up)

also yeah sakura’s so !!!!! im very scared of drawing her bc i suck at drawing muscles so she’ll probably not get an art until MUCH later than her backstory post unfortunately <\3 but fashionista sakura is so ggougkugvghkkvssxgjvihsdcv /pos

[brothalynchhung]

2023 overview part 2

since when was there a text limit?

anywho lolla was so much even if i was alone

chicago food slapped the city was so much fun and yeah just enjoy being in america

the record stores 🫡

that kokoroko story omg the fact that i went to the same places as new jeans just a few days apart 😭 but still that store was my 80s dreams

BUT YEAH I SAW NEW JEANS AND TXT LIVE

JID RHCP DESTROY LONELY A BOOGIE BAEBADOOBEE KENDRICK AGAIN

so much fun honestly the vibes of an american music festival r unmatched

loved summer so much

then i went back to toronto and just waited for the torment to be over cuz i just wanted to get the fuck out of there

seriously chilling w that bitch nd her weird ass bf was hell

literally toronto was the worst place i went to this year.. lol

anyways its over and never happening again

now i know forsure im never going back i HAVE to make it somewhere else

ANYWAYS i left canada then came back around sept and had to deal w moving out

left my old isolated place

gunna miss that view tho lol and my old gym / salon but othat than thaat... BYE

then moved in w nada which is going okay i guess whatever

im in a weird limbo state in my life rn -_- after an amazing few months of travelling idk what the hell going on

i quickly got a job LOL ofc but i kinda got into it/entered it not rlly knowing what the fawk was happening in my life like uh yeah i guess okay lets just do this cuz i need to sell my furniture and put it somewhere and i need a visa

legit its just for the visa until i figure out where i wanna go -_- bUTTT

i havent had much time to even think about that or my future cuz...

of that stupid ass discord. .. group -_-

look its not even the group idc about them like yeah nice weirdos woo whatelse is new

but that stupid ass day i decided to go to the korean restaurant.. -_-

like i was doing so well man but then my eyes set on fire

im still figuring it out but whatever idk

like work was good tbh it doesnt even FEEL like work cuz yeah tbh after that hell job i just dont care about labor anymore like nah im NEVER putting my whole pussy into a job ever again im putting myself first always now so this current job just doing feel like shit

actually its kinda helping me get my mind off this bitch

idk man i met that bitch and now i cant stop thinking about him

blah blah typically me shit i obsess over someone and daydream crazy about them idk

hes cute tho ig i think hes better than all those other bitches i been w

OH ANOTHER THING THO I FINALLY BROKE MY 2 ALMOST 3 YEAR SPELL

thank god 😩

i mean it didnt go the way i would have wanted to..

i move too fast -_- and i think that was the problem

but after that spell broke i thought i would be done w it but nope

im crazy and started to get depressed

idk what i want or if im just using this bitch as a distraction from work/figuring out life

idk what i want bc obv this bitch isint anything special hes just kinda cute? but whatever HES NOT GL

so many red flags but im acting like a bull

brrr whatever the biggest this is just selling that fucking ass furniture

anyways the whole end of this year was just the new job, this bitch and me going crazy

the new job is fun the ppl are nice the client is annoying but its manageable thank god we got wfh but yeah even in office isint bad the ppl r nice which is the best part

the partying.. lol girl -_- i need to slow it down i cant keep on getting lit BECAUSE HONESTLY whats ruining me is the drinking

maybe if that bitch didnt exist in my life i would be fine and have control but jeesuss its like im trying to forget my current situation through him then try to forget him through partying and bullshit -________-

god please send me gl .. or whatever

or maybe i just need to act normal and stop being fucking crazy over a bitch i barely know that will do nothing for me and go back to focusing on getting shit done and FORWARD with my life

yeah -_-

anyways end of the year partying wooo work friends woo this weird discord chat group wooo delusions wooo

gym movies books learning japanese learning music theory (which i rlly need to get back to...) videos skateboarding art basically always encompasses my years

i just need to put myself out there more idk i need to get out of my head and start to do more

which is were im at perfectly idk why i had to go so crazy from oct-dec but whatever i think its over now

i cant suffer forever

anyways this was a long ass busy crazy year with so much travel beginnings and endings moving cutting off and meeting new people... im so so so grateful despite the emotional breakdowns and work stress and this bitch stress im sooo happy i think this was such a fun year and yeah we need ups and downs..

pluto in aquarius eh? so shit about to get crazier... nice -_-

i just want to make videos do my website idk FIGURE OUT WHERE I WANT TO LIVE sell my furniture and yeah ofc read read read movies movies movies be HEALTHY create more and realign my brain w my goals after this dumb bitch entered my life ugh (im doing it to myself fr) anddd idk what else make friends that are like me and MOVE FORWARD

remember self CONTINUE!! CONTINUE!!!

see u next year and hey future self if ur reading this i love you u can do it U SURVIVED THIS YEAR U CAN DO IT

[girlwithfish]

today was soo bad my class was out of control lol. me n my coworker couldnt get them in control during naptime the first hr they went to sleep rhen the second half when i got back a few were awake and then it just went into chaos where i was alone w like 14 awake children and i couldnt get them to stay on their beds or be quiet and then so im like ok u can read a book to urself on ur cot but then theyre all walking around and start playing w each orher talking doing shit theyre not supposed to and it just goes into fkn chaos and im also trying to work on an activity i can do w tbem later but i barely have time bc they r all awake and also pushing each other screaming etc then my coworker gets back and then admin switches her oht w another teacher bc we cant control the kids and its embarrassing ig but idk they dont listen to me so lol. Nd i get a warning abt phone usage whcih is whatever and my coworker gets a warning abt being too aggressive even tho the otber teachers yell and also move the kids sometimes yk like? idk and then tbis other coworker whos not eben in my classroom texts me a reminder to post pictures of the kids today which ig she was trying to b helpful but i found it more annoying and then when theyre outside im tkaing pictures of them on my phone and posting them onthe app bc we have to and my other coworker like reminded me ig to so whatever and then theres this stupid shit w this kid whos always taking his sheos off and throwing them around or into the drain or over the fence so sometiems my coworker just takes them so he doesnt lose thek somewhere and my other coworker gets pissed abt it and tben he did have is shoes outside and then throws them over the fence and shes pissed abt that and the otber teachers in the nextdoor playground for a younger class r like kind of watching our kids too eben tho theres 3 of us there and my one coworker is getting the kids shoes and like says we shld be watching them not the other teachers eben tjo we are and im just doing the stupid activity shit bc if i dont do it now everyones going to give me shit and i had no time earlier to do it and she can handle the shoes imo if shes so pissy that my other coworker takes his shoes like yeah if u give them to him jes gonna throw them over the fence not my problem when i didnt even give them to him😭IDK

[diorwoo]

AAAAAAAAAAA REN im so happy to hear that you’re doing well, or…. trying to make everything fine, BUT IM SO HAPPY THAT U’RE TRYING YES BABE WE HATE LIFE BUT unfortunately we have to keep going just to spite it !!!!! (my motto 24/7) but yes omgomg we should exchange igs (i’ll send u another ask hehe)

i’ve missed u so so much and literally when i felt like i have feelings for one irl man i immediately thought of u and went,,,, my gawd ren’s gonna have a field day about this,,,,,,,, buT literally idk how and idk when but i fell for him and now im down bad IM A SIMP. THERE I’VE ADMITTED IT 😔. (i don’t even simp for san anymore 😨😨😨😨😨)

but to tell u a brieF bit abt this man (bcs if u let me actually talk about him, i could go on for DAYS), he’s literally the sweetest mf that’s living on this earth, i kid u not. it turns out, he’s been interested in me since my first semester of uni (im currently in my 5th semester) but he’s never gotten a chance bcs i get into situationships often and he’s super shy so he was not confident on approaching me at all 😭 but in the beginning of our 5th semester, we end up being in the same classes and we found out we have mutual friends and that’s when we started hanging out (at first, in group settings)!!!!

to answer ur question, yes he’s very handsome, he’s very tall, and he goes to the gym and……. welllllllll i shouldnt be thirsty on main but GAWDDDAMN he can literally headlock me n i’d say thankyou (LORDDDD IS THIS WHO I AM NOW) but yeah 😝 the first time we hungout, we’ve barEly talked, but long story short i got drenched bcs we went to a golf driving range AND THE SPRINKLERS TO WATER THE GRASS TURNED ON OUT OF NOWHERE AND I WALKED INTO IT 💀 he then offered me his shirt and it just started spiralling after that ehe (🤢 i folded 🤢)

we’ve recently been going on dates and he picks me up to go to campus even though he lives literally 5 minutes away from campus and i live 30 minutes away from campus 💀 like he spends an HOUR driving just to go to me and take me to campus then drives another hour to take me home and go back to hiS house almost everyday and he’s just…. so sweet. he’d open his car door for me all the time, never lets me pay for anything (we literally physically BRAWL in front of every cashier of every restaurant we’ve eaten in bcs i also insist in paying), is such a SHYYY person but gets loud whenever hes with me and texts with emojis with me, always waits for me anytime EVERYTIME, sends me tiktoks of cats bcs it reminds him of me, is allergic to cats but has FOUR who he loves veeery much, and thinks of the cutest activities for the both of us to do :’-)

also, one time i got him his favorite coffee (that he drinks. every. single. day.) and he literally couldnt stop going MMMMMMMM THIS COFFEE IS SO GOOD everytime he takes a sip and i was like… bro it’s the coffee u drink everyday tho????? and he went sorry it just tastes sm better bcs u got it for me 😔 AND I WENT AKAKKANFNDJSBJSJSSJNS !!!!!!!!! there’s so many things about him i could tell u but oops i realized i literally just wrote a 3 page essay about him 🧍‍♀️

ANYWAYYYSS all the simping aside, i can’t thank you enough for supporting me throughout my journey here!!!! you were the first person ever to send me an ask detailing abt how u loved my first work and that holds such a special place in my heart IM NOT KIDDING. literally trashed around like crazy when i saw ur ask ily. and i love love whenever u send me asks bcs theyre so fun to read and its so nice to get to know u!!! thank you so so much for being u, ren. i literally cannot thank you enough and im so glad we’ve met <3 i love u the mostest <3

OH MY GOD U ARE DOWN BAD ND THE THING IS U ARE DOWN BAD FOR A GOOOD ASS MAN A FINE ASS MF LITERALLY LIZ U WON IN LIFE DANG THATS HUSBAND MATERIAL

he DRIVES U HOME DOESNT COMPLAIN SIMPS FOR U OMFGGGG IM SO HAPPY FOR U LIZ IM LITERALLY SOSOSOSOSO HAPPY ND THE STOEY AAAAA IM SO ON LOVE WITH like he was right in front of u nd I'm telling u are gonna have ur happily ever after (my frnd also had the same story nd is now happily married with the guy ) MY GOD LIZ U ARE IN LOVEEEE Finally U PULLED A GENTLEMAN A KEEPER A LOVER A SIMP FOR U (when both simp for e/o >>>>>>) TELL ME MOREEEEE I WOULD LOVE TO LISTEN TO U ND YES I WILL ANNOY U 9N IG 🤩🤩🤩ND Y3S THANK U SM for coming back nd u just healed a part of me which u didn't break

[brittapcrrys]

this post just making me think abt something for, like, the 10th time today....

this got so fucking long ahhh i am just. justifying all this to myself as im unpacking where the feeings are coming from jsdfkhs glad i have a psych session next week, guess i know what we're gonna talk abt!!

i was rly generally frustrated this afternoon and got a message to pop around for last minute planning for the help/work im doing for mum's friend for the next few weeks. and like yeah i know that it is generally within my range of abilities, i know that most times i help 'em out like this it's Fine and occasionally even Fun, i know that if im Not Well or anything else i can text and say look can't do it today sorry and that'll be accepted!!!

but. whenever i am asked to Do these things (dog sit / dog walk / plant-sit&garden, etc) for "neighbours" and friends there's like......... they KNOW im unemployed and they KNOW i've done it before so there's this feeling of an unspoken expectation that i WILL say yes, i will agree to do it when and as asked.

and ig to some extent it's reasonable for any of them to think 'she's been happy to do it before so there's good odds she'll probably, hopefully, do it again!' and they're never DEMANDING abt it or anything so maybe it is, at least coming from the 'employer' in each case, mostly just ~in my head~ n something i'm seeing/feeling/projecting that's not Actually in there

but idk when i HAVE had jobs in the past (waitress, cleaner, babysitter, tutor, library assistant) if i got ~called in~ the day before i uhhhh could say no. and would say no. and i didn't feel bad abt it i didn't care like i had a (casual, but pre-planned) roster and i've been fortunate enough that saying 'no, i can't' didn't lose me those scheduled shifts or the job as a whole, i know that. but bc this isn't an ~official~ job there's no structure it's just a 'get a text 1wk-to-12hrs before, help a neighbour, get twenty bucks' kinda deal each time it feels like i HAVE TO say yes. if i don't have some other thing already planned, i have to say Yeah Sure or im evil and horrible and the worst and should be ashamed

excepttttttttt i think. a lot of that. comes from my mum lmao always a fun connection to make. bc i made some exasperated comment mostly to myself during that frustrated moment this afternoon and she was like "well what do you mean? why can't you do it? why would you say no? did you WANT to say no? it's not like you have much else going on... it's not even hard why wuold---" etc etc and dad isn't quite so expressive, ever, but less and less so as the PD continues to wear away at him & his speech in more obvious ways, but has similar sentiments. and like.... just bc THEY can't/won't say no to stuff doesn't mean i shouldn't????? mum will say she needs a week to herself and then 10minutes later has agreed to be a TRT (substitute teacher) for 3.5days that week. dad just thinks 'you do a job until it's done. you get asked to do a job, you do that til it's done' and like let's not even THINK abt the way that has worn each of them down physically and emotionally at different times, including now. like they just view Work and the related Expectations/Obligations differently, i guess? whether that's a generational thing, a ND (me) vs NT thing, a 'farmer and air force electrician' and 'lifelong teacher' and 'we both moved out at 16/17 and supported ourselves from that point on / u can't get something from nothing' thing. i have forgotten where this was going jfc

anyway. the dog will be a lil moody if i don't visit her for a couple hours & go for a walk, but she'll be fine. the plants can be watered by someone else, or - esp in the current weather - just miss a day, they'll bounce back later. me doing these things when asked is not, like, the key to holding the fabric of the universe together. nobody's life is gonna come apart at the seams bc i said 'oh, sorry, i won't be able to d that today/this week'.

and i shouldn't actually have to explain why! maybe i have a migraine and can't stand up straight. maybe i'm having a gastrointestinal Hell Episode. maybe i threw up overnight and am still very distressed abt it. maybe i haven't slept in 48hrs. maybe it's windy and im teetering on the verge of a panic attack and rly cannot be outside in it. maybe it's PMDD time and i know i don't have the patience to interact with another being especially not in a way where im solely responsible for it. maybe im bleeding heavily and cramping to the extreme on and off without warning. maybe i haven't been able to get out of bed all week because i just dont want to exist. MAYBE i just! don't! wanna!

and idt it's fair that anyone says or acts in a way that suggests im doing something Very Wrong or Shameful or Disappointing (there's a difference between, 'oh, that's disappointing, but thanks for letting me know' disappointment & 'why would you do that? what are you thinking?' disappointment, which is the kind i mean). is it gonna be fine most times if i agree to it even when i don't rly want to? yes. it's always mostly fine-ish. it's nto abt avoiding it out of anxiety or whatever like im not nervous abt walking this mini daschund that adores me. im not nervous abt watering plants that are essentially the same as my own at home. it's just, like, weighing up 'would doing this likely improve my mood/day? will it probably just be a non-impact kinda deal? what are the odds it makes me / my day worse?' each time (knowing when my psych appts are, when my period is and general mood shifts during my cycle, how my sleep and mood have been in the day/s before the 'shift', weather, etc etc etc) and determining which is likely to be the most effective and useful (or neutral, sometimes) option for me in that case!

and if that reason is just 'ehhh i really just Dont Want It today/tomorrow' that is also fine, actually

[legobatjoker]

btw i need to go to sleep like. now but i DONT WANT TO bc im waiting to seee if taylor announces speak now taylors version at the grammys !!! (via my tumblr dashboard bc im nott watching them DFDFHDFGD) but i still will go to sleep soon bc umm its 1am babes but omg i rly hope she doesss esp bc like !!! i was gonna mention shis on call beforeu left but like idk when the release day will be but like. i think it wld be soo cute nd perfect if she released enchanted tv the friday before valentines day.... like maybe not that perfect bc valentines is a tuesday this year so itll still b some time of before hand but still !!! wldnt it be !!!

UMM OKAYY soo um like i siad it is infact 1am and i am infact very tired and shld infact be in bed so um ! this may be kinda short due to that but i do just wanna say that !!! i really do just love you so so much beloved like !! omg it was so so lovley to call today like just like. talking with you and hearing your voice and your laugh and just like !! getting to share my tohughts with you and hear yours and just spend time with you it was so amazing love it really was just such a highlight of my day and my week and im so so glad that we got to love bc it really was so so amaxing just like it is whenever we spend time together and as it is just to know you dearest !! you really are just such a wonderful friend to me like !! just so so kind and caring and supportive of me and i hope you know it just means so so much to me more than i think i can say and you just really being so so much warmth and comfort and light into my life dearest and make me feel osso loved and cared for with you and just !!! i really am just so so grateful to know you and be your friend dearest i really realy am and i just how you know you really do just mean the world to me and i really do just love you so so very much luce i really do :'> i hope ur days been good and that you sleep well dearest, ilusm <3 !!! 💞💗💕🌼🥭🐞🦋🍰🐸💗💞✨✨

OK FIRST OF ALL WHY HASNT SHE NNOUNCED IT (as of now ig..) LIKE PLEASE but also omg yes i would sososoooo loveee if we get enchanted tv the fri before valentines that would be !!! incredibleeee ...>>>!! also yes i rlly rlly do hope u can get some good sleep tonight beloved and i hope you know that i also immensely enjoyed calling today like getting to chat and laugh and hear ur voice and thoughts alll sooooo lovelyyy!!! and yeah just u r also suchhhhh a wounderful caring friend to me and i really really hope i can be the same to youuu!!!! you really do mean so so very much to me and i love you smmmm tooooooo ilyytttttt gnight!! 💗💞 💗💞 💗💞 💗💞 💗💞 💗💞

[skrunksthatwunk]

man ok so I've been trying to be more attentive to the way my body feels bc apparently i feel bad way more than i really notice and man i feel so goofy stupid about it

wait, maybe I'm visually sensitive?? what a shock!! i thought everyone had moments where they wished they were blind as a kid. i thought everyone felt better when they broke their glasses bc there was less detail and it made things less overwhelming. i thought everyone had to lie in the dark for a couple hours every day just to feel normal. i thought everyone's eyes hurt when they went outside even if it was cloudy. i thought everyone preferred looking at things via peripheral vision bc it's less direct. i thought everyone wore black every day so their eyes have somewhere to rest on. what the hell is this normal???? is it????? probably not right???????? what the hell

like i just didn't realize i felt bad until i felt better?? i never considered that i could be any of these things bc no one told me to pay attention to it and ignoring it was easier. and even when i did it was kind of a :/ feeling like a 3/10 discomfort peaking at 6/10 all day and then "hey wow why can't I do anything now that I'm home" like,, dipshit it's bc you're in hell what. maybe your idea of a 3/10 isn't right ya moron

oh maybe i don't feel as brain staticy after walking through the halls if i play music. it's almost as if it's overwhelming and bad. and i already knew that but i always get stuck not doing things differently so i didn't bother bc i could tolerate it (probably by dissociating tbh) and wow yeah now that i am it's just. easier. sheesh

oh, i can feel my bone marrow retreating into my body whenever i touch wet clothes? noted. can't actually do much about that one but it's the thought that counts

it even goes for nonsensory stuff like stimming and communication. maybe THATS why i wish so badly that i could communicate nonverbally (esp ASL, seems super useful), why it feels So Wrong To Talk sometimes. maybe THATS why i gotta move and/or make noise like 70% of the time and always have in some way. maybe THATS why i can't understand people if they're muffled/have an accent I'm not familiar with/if multiple ppl are talking, and why there's a delay in processing, and why i can't watch things without subtitles. hell hell ass hell hell hell etc

and a lotta this is only stuff i realized bc i started looking into various flavors of neurodivergency. still not really willing to self diagnose until i do more legit big boy research but at the very least apparently I'm onto SOMETHING if these realizations keep happening. like even if I'm neurotypical and faking it or just quirky or whatever it's making my life better to pay attention to how i feel for once so..? yeah it's productive ig. i swear this is a positive post guys

and a lot of it's easier realizing people don't usually mean 100% universal literal inability when they're talking about not being able to do stuff or when they experience things really strongly. sometimes stuff is just disproportionately hard or rare for someone. shit man idk. doesn't mean they ain't disabled or nd or whatever and, therefore, it doesn't mean i can't be just bc i used to be able to do my homework before the deadline :/ when ppl have special interests it doesn't mean they only think about one thing for their entire lives hell ass of course not why would you think that. jeez.

anyway i swear this is a good silly thing even though the tone is a bit mad(?) but sometimes it's just baffling the way I've lived my entire life. clown behavior. what is wrong with me. shape up there bud

[seokjinsonlyone]

How do you think the members would react if they did buzzfeed thirst tweets 😂

dawwwwgggg pls they been acting mad suspicious on twitter today i’m terrified of what may come up 💀 but i would give anything to see sumn like that

jimin would be in total shock and disbelief there’s no way his army would ever think much less say something like that on a public platform like this the man that think it’s some kind of mistranslation every time they comment something wild ; army: i want to sit on you jimin: 😦 that can’t be right; he’d be pleasantly amused tho like we’re jimin’s baby and i think it’d be like realizing your baby is all grown up

i think seokjin would be flustered at every comment whole body flushed red he’d be barely able to read the little slips of paper but he’d be shutting us down at the same time there’d be a whole lot of “yah’s” and “that’s never gonna happen” and then at the end he’d be like “i never thought i’d see these kinds of things but i am extremely handsome so i understand why they feel that way”

yoongi would be so concerned for us. like he’d see someone say they want him to step on them or there was this one tweet i seen earlier and someone was like they wish they were a roach so they could crawl up jimin’s crack and make a home there and if yoongi saw anything like that he’d be like “😶 i don’t think they in they right mind” overall i think he wouldn’t even be flustered like there’d be a couple that make him do that little snort laugh he be doing but he’d mostly be tryna figure out how we find pleasure in the statements made

94 line would be very interesting to see bc i know they’ve come in contact with these things personally like they definitely on stan twitter but hobi would be soooo cute and entertaining to watch as always but like i just know he’d be cracking up in disbelief at some of what’s said half the time and then the other half he’d be in confusion tryna figure out what the terms mean like i can clearly imagine hobi in front of that blue background asking what a bussy is 💀💀💀

and then joon the whole time would be just like “uhhh yeah… wow” blushing dimples popped out probably at least mildly aroused nd be like “y’all kinda nasty haha” he’d admire the creativity i know he would like i’d give anything just to see him read that one tweet where they were like “i want to sit on joon dick like a pottery wheel just to spin around and let him mold me into a better person”

i think tae would love it lowkey like ain’t no way he post the pics he post on ig and expect us to be normal about it like no he wants to hear all the little nasty things we say about him but it’d be infuriating at the same time bc he’d never direct that energy toward us like lightly scolding and friendzoning us the entire time and to make it worst he’d go on weverse and confront us about it talm bout “ahh… army… i didn’t know you were like that…” like shfijsksjdns shut UP yes u did and you liked it too 🙄

and jk i think we’d get a few new eyebrow laughs to add to the compilations bc he knows how them videos work but seeing someone else read it and reading them himself are two different things but at the same time he would be taking things down for his own personal catalog mr “you want me? try to get me 😏” mr “explaining to members in the middle of vlive how telling someone you want them to come and see your cat” works like he’d be flirting back so freaking hard lightly exposing himself and it’d just be so insidious we wouldn’t make it out alive