#but yeah it's probably because I'm looking for specific stuff and i hardly find it but that's on me

[slime-sandwhich-nom]

Do you have a favorite Genloss fanfic/fanfics? (Ones that are completed or is still updating)

Can I say that I actually haven't read any genloss fic?

Probably because i want something specific or I just,,,, don't,,,,look up genloss because I forget it has fics too but now I want someone to actually hand me some fics for genloss :3

I do have other fics that are about charlie though! Just not about genloss. Some are finished, some are left kinda like that, and yeahh. (Still looking for a osmp fic that is actually about charlie but it has good af angst)

[barkspawn]

If you’re still doing one shot requests, could you do one for Sebastian? This is so specific, but I’ve been thinking about it a lot, but maybe something based around his opening sentiment of “you’re new? Why would you choose Pelican Town, of all places?” (Obvi not his exact wording, but you get it)

I think I’m projecting because I’ve found myself careening towards a similar situation as our dear farmer lol. But I think it’d be interesting nonetheless.

*also sorry for any poor English, it is not my first language >_>

It's weird. I feel like Its been 20 years lol

There's a weird space that just wants to drink my tears

Thanks again for your patience. I hope you enjoy 💜

Amelia had spent the entire week meeting mostly everyone. The only person she knew that she was missing was Robin’s son Sebastian.

He apparently hardly ever left his room except to smoke or go to the saloon on Fridays with Sam and Abigail.

Amelia went to the mines on Friday this time. She'd had a particularly difficult morning and decided to go to the mines for some ore.

Unfortunately for her, the monsters were a little extra feisty tonight. She'd eaten probably five field snacks and it was getting late anyway.

She leans against the wall in the elevator, holding her shirt to the bleeding cut on her forehead. Thankfully, she layered a camisole under her shirt for warmth in the mines. She sighed as she walked out of the entrance, her backpack slung over her shoulder.

As she crossed the footbridge, heading to make her way to the mountain path. She walked down, shifting to adjust her backpack, dropping with a yell as a figure by the lake startled her.

“Shit,” she mumbled as she realized she had to pick up a bunch of stuff, “you scared the hell out of me.”

She hadn't even seen who was there, figuring it was Linus. When she looked up, she saw a taller guy who had longer dark hair, paired with all dark clothes.

“Oh, sorry. I didn't know… Well, this is a great first impression. I'd shake your hand but, well, mud and blood.”

“Uh, do you need help or something? I can call Harvey if–”

“No, no. Sorry. Let me start over. I'm coming from the mines, where I seem to have gotten a little in over my head.”

The man failed to suppress a smirk, exhaling the smoke from his cigarette upwards, “I see that. I'm Sebastian.”

“Well, hello Sebastian. I'm Amelia.”

“Oh. You just moved in, right? Cool.”

She laughed quietly, nodding, “that's a word for it.”

He gave a small nod, his eyebrows raised, “okay, I've got to ask. Out of all the places you could live, you chose Pelican Town?”

“It sounds like someone isn't the biggest fan of life here,” she laughed, shifting to adjust the cloth on her head, “it was my grandfather's farm. He died and left it to me a long time ago apparently. I lived in Zuzu… Well, it's a long story.”

He seemed to perk up at the mention of Zuzu, “what was it like living there?”

She offered a small smile, joking, “depends. Do you have an hour?”

“Well, yeah,” he responded, serious. She watched him turn to lean against the tree nearby, “I'm not asking you for personal info… I just like the idea of living there, you know?”

“Yeah, I do. But honestly? It wasn't everything I wanted it to be. I'm, well, I like to keep to myself. I thought moving to the city would be great for my independence and I could just… Have my own space.”

Sebastian nodded, like everything she was saying made perfect sense. He was listening rather intently, “sounds perfect. Why would you leave?”

“Because it ended up being overwhelming. I had a shit job because I couldn't find any that suited what I wanted to do. Rent is fucking expensive. I had to stay with two roommates and still pay 1000 gold monthly. Note that roommates are definitely not helpful if you want to be independent. It also doesn't help if the jobs pay like shit.”

Sebastian frowned, considering, “yeah, but you're still on your own. With all of those people you just blend into the crowd. I'm sure if you look hard enough you can find a studio apartment for relatively cheap.”

“I wish I could say you're right,” she sighed, pulling the shirt from her face as it was thankfully hardly bleeding now. Sebastian gave her a look as if pointing out how she looks like hell, “I'm good. Listen, if you find an apartment for that cost, you're going to be in a bad area or have to use communal bathrooms. Trust me, neither situation is worth it.” she watched as Sebastian frowned, “also, I'm sorry but that's not what being in a crowd does. In my experience, being around all of those people is terrifying. You don't know who is judging you or if someone is going to hurt or steal from you. I also just don't like being in crowds and being touched by strangers.”

There was a long pause as Sebastian lit another cigarette. He never really chain-smoked, but somehow he needed another tonight.

“That's perfectly reassuring, thanks,” Sebastian deadpanned after a long drag.

“Hey, I'm not trying to piss in your cereal or anything. I just know how it is to want something so badly that I ignore the bad.”

His eyebrow arched, a small smirk growing as she spoke. He was going to stress about Zuzu now and it's not like he could move right now anyway. So, he avoided the topic.

“Piss in my cereal?”

“You know, like ruin your day or whatever.”

“‘Piss in your cereal’ is definitely more interesting.”

Amelia laughed and shook her head looking over at him, “you know Sam warned me you'd make fun of me if you thought I was cool.”

Sebastian’s smile fell, “Sam is such an asshole,” he sighed.

Amelia laughed and held the shirt to her head again, “pleasure meeting you, Sebastian.”

She turned and gathered her backpack, hoisting it over her shoulder. She heard him mumble something, likely still embarrassed about Sam’s comment.

“Oh, and Sebastian?”

He turned, eyebrows raised, “what's up?”

“My experience in Zuzu doesn't mean yours will be the same. If you have any questions or want advice, you know where my farm is… I think.”

Sebastian paused for a long moment, “thanks, Amelia. I guess you're cool.”

She laughed and turned to leave, “thank Yoba.”

[soul-dwelling]

Konro fighting his doppelganger is in my opinion already a retcon - because first time we see the infernal it looks nothing like him and nothing suggests that it is somehow connected to him And even when its revealed to be a dopplelganger ir doesnt look as simmilar as the later doppelgangers, leading me to believe that Ohkubo hadnt developed the concept fully when he first mentioned it in manga - even Benis father figure doppel looked more infernal then the doppelgangers in the end which basically looked one to one (but at that point he commited to making a meta point)

You're right, I got it wrong: I just quickly re-read the Asakusa Arc, and I can't find any place where Konro brings up the Infernal being his doppel--that was an addition added later to the series. So, yeah, possibly a retcon, or at best Ohkubo couldn't dump all of that lore all at once and used it as foreshadowing to reveal later.

Still, though, yes, I can't find anything in the Asakusa Arc where Konro specifically said it was his doppel.

As for the argument that "the doppel doesn't look as similar as the later doppels": that is its own problem, seeing as the doppel rules conflict with the eventual rules about how a pyrokinetic is form. It was my understanding that you become a pyrokinetic when you are bitten by the bug, and that bug bite causes your doppel from Adolla to merge with your body to give you fire powers. Okay...So how come even after people like Shinra, Joker, Benimaru, Konro, Iris, and so on develop pyrokinetic abilities, their doppels are also around at the same time? Can you have two doppels? How do Joker and Benimaru become pyrokinetics but also later fight their own doppels? How can Iris develop pyrokinetic abilities if she is a doppel of Amaterasu? And that's not even getting into how Mari can exist as a doppel of the Evangelist. And Mari hardly ever looked like the Evangelist to me, so, yeah, I don't get how the series acts like any doppels look like their sources.

Granted, Iris never looked like Amaterasu to me, but I blamed that mostly on Ohkubo having a same-y style to certain characters' faces. (Iris looked more like Patty Thompson to me--maybe a casting gag when getting Patty's English voice to play Amaterasu.)

As an aside: there is almost something clever to the idea that doppels are the embodiment of how the world views you...except it's also another soapbox moment for Ohkubo to get all righteously indignant that people didn't get what he was going for with Joker and Benimaru, so their doppels are exaggerated versions of the original character: "You thought Joker was a bad guy and Benimaru was battle-hungry, that you missed the nuances to the characters!" Or, those qualities are there to the characters, and now your doppels just exaggerated what was already there. I mean, jeez, I'm sorry that people initially thought Joker was probably a bad guy since, you know, he was an antagonist, he was blowing stuff up, it was hinted he was expediting some Infernal situations--I'm so sorry I didn't realize he was actually a Batman figure (intentionally ironic, given the name). You can't complain that you did too good a job tricking the audience and then blame the audience: you design a character to look like that (that's on me for judging by appearances), but you stage scenes to leave it to the readers based on that evidence to conclude this is the bad guy, offered little evidence for a persuasive counter-argument (because you wait until later to offer that evidence), and then act holier-than-thou when the audience reaches the conclusion you wanted them to reach before you staged your disappointing and poorly executed plot twist. (And I am back to glaring at the end of Bungo Stray Dogs Season 5 for doing that same damn annoying trick: "You thought the person doing bad things was the bad guy, but he's really a good guy!" ...No. The dude still did bad things--he is a bad guy, even if he's not "the" bad guy, Wreck-It Ralph.)

[oceandiagonale]

You might be pleased to know I'm working on a general timeline of events for creams world up to the end of the darkest year (technically it's like half a year plus some but darkest year sounds better then darkest 8 months) so first event is way way back before hisui, the unown who made cream get inspired by that ancient hero you hear about in hisui, this is when they start working on cream, years later the hisui crisis happens, which is basically just legends arceus, and this is where the unown get more inspiration for cream via arezu, lots of other stuff happens but it's pretty much the same as I'm guessing canon, team rocket in Kanto happens first before the others, red taking Giovanni down and a few years later team rocket tries again in johto to find Giovanni and crystal takes them down (I think her name is crystal?? The female protagonist for the games, probably HeartGold SoulSilver) a while after that is when rose summons eternatus and successful controls it, making bank on this new infinite energy source, this is around two years? Before the darkest year, a year later team plasma shows up, this time using rose as evidence to catching pokemon bad as he caught eternatus and is basically using it as a battery, giving them a bit more popularity, even so they get defeated and a year later hell breaks loose in galar, the darkest year starts, interrupting that years champion tournament, Marnie was trying to compete this year as last year she couldn't get far for some reason, either she failed it or got kicked out that year for team yells thing, though considering how sports fans are I don't think she'd get kicked out, so she probably just fell short and decided to try again next year, not giving up, unfortunately this happens so tough luck Marnie, six months after it starts the unown notice nothing is happening to fix it and hurriedly throw cream down there with thumbs up unown to fix it, two months later cream has saved the region and rose is in jail for everything he did, that's the jist, though I'm unsure if I should put team aqua/magma in during the darkest year, making it harder for the international help to help galar as that's become a problem, or have that happen after

YOOO a timeline!! but also RIP to marnie’s career as a trainer in the league, we hardly knew ye 😔😔😔🙏🙏🙏🙏

hmmmm, honestly team magma and aqua could go anywhere and it would make sense -- if it’s either during or after the darkest 8 months (dklfsdkjf that’s such a funny term, I know year sounds cooler but the humor of that gets to me) then archie and maxie can still be like “LOOK SEE?? WE NEED TO MAKE THE WORLD BETTER FOR HUMANS BECAUSE THEY’RE SUFFERING AT THE WHIMS OF A POKEMON/POKEMON BECAUSE HUMANS MESS WITH THE BALANCE OF NATURE”

I think the crystal protagonist is called Kris?? I only went with Crystal in my comic because I named all of the heroes after the games specifically 😂😂😂

(more under the cut)

OH A TEST FOR CREAM BY THE ORIGINAL HERO AND HOP.... VERY FUN

KJSDFJKFSD but for real ghetsis is SUCH a great choice for big bad right after giovanni 😳😳😳😳😳

also the idea of cream taking over for the galar hero AND the kalos hero is so good because it’s like -- bud you have all this self-doubt but you’re so good at your job that you’re taking the initiative from them too 😂😂😂

and YEAH gene stole the ruby run from Ruby himself (he didn’t even get a fancy test to prove his strength they just cursed him head-on sdkjfhskjdf)

SDJFKJDSH listen they’re allowed to have a love for the familiarity of their designated catastrophe, as a treat -- because they deserve many treats 😤😤😤

OH NOOOOOO CREAM THAT’S NOT WHAT THE UNOWN INTENDED

[cooloddball]

ok I love cockles and believe they really might be or used to be a thing, but let's stick to the facts:

1) wo do not know that dee organized a mass for them, the only thing we know is that she contacted a friend of hers who is a nun in the vatican to show them around. the nun then seemingly also involved a priest in this to give them a tour. what happened from there is anyone's guess, the quick mass during the tour seemed like the priest's idea though if I remember what cliff said about this topic correctly.

2) jensen and misha weren't alone during the vatican tour and mass, cliff was with them as well.

3) misha and cliff did not partake in the mass, only jensen did. it's hardly a wedding if jensen is the only one who participates in the mass (and communion) while misha and cliff stand around and watch.

and they also looked at lots of other stuff during this vatican trip with the priest, the trip wasn't specifically about the mass.

there's an interview with cliff on youtube where he talks about all of this. but really, I think this whole "vatican wedding/commitment ceremony/whatever" thing is a serious case of wishful thinking in the cockles fandom and not much else.

this seems to have beeb nothing but a private guided tourst tour with a couple of things strewn in that tourist normally aren't allowed to visist and see, thus making it special, but not a wedding or anything like that.

I don't know where all this is coming from anon but I never said that they had a wedding ceremony at the Vatican. My exact words were, " Be that as it may, I'm leaning on the side that they are indeed married, whether it was in the vatican or elsewhere, they had some sort of ceremony that solidified their relationship"

I also find it funny how you missed out the part where I said that no one can ever know for sure whether they are married or not unless they tell us themselves.

In addition to that, going by something that Clif, a bodyguard, said as law is pretty funny to me because, yeah he might've been there but it is also plausible that he wasn't. He could be telling the truth about what happened and he might as well be lying. People are driven by various motivations and intentions and who's to say he is not lying?

All I can go by from the Vatican story is from Jensen and Misha's account from the EW magazine and Jensen saying Dee talked to a nun there. No one knows for sure if she organized for it to be a private tour for just Jensen or Jensen and Misha or whatever the case may be.

Also, let it be noted that Jensen said the priest said the mass would be appropriate "for you guys" that is Jensen and Misha not just jensen. Clif was probably lying.

Lastly, no one legit believes a catholic priest would conduct a gay wedding at the Vatican under the mural of Michael slaying Lucifer. Let people spec and have fun and if someone believes it to be true and it brings them joy so be it. That's what cockles is all about.

I hope I wasn't rude or anything I just had to say it.

[retphienix]

I'm not sure if I should make this the finale post or not to be honest because I plan on playing some of the DLCs soon, so I'll make this a 'light' finale post because I'm sure I've said more than enough through my playthrough.

Morrowind genuinely surprised me. I heard all the oldguard TES fans saying it's way different and some claiming it was miles better.

Specifically I remember when Oblivion came out I heard from somewhere that Oblivion was just "dumbed down Morrowind" and kid me was like "What the heck are you talking about, Oblivion is the best game in the world (right now)???"

But man, they weren't wrong, but that's hardly what I'd point at in Morrowind in comparison.

Then again my memory of Oblivion is all rose tinted nostalgia and half memories.

What Morrowind is to me today is a fantastic fantasy game with some really interesting lore, a villain I love, a world that feels alien, troubled, imperfect and intriguing, and a gameplay cycle that felt really satisfying to me from the very start to roughly level 20 or so.

I REALLY like how pitiful and overwhelmed I felt at the start of this game- it felt fucking awesome to me and I know for some that's a weird statement and others it's the most obvious thing in the world but man is it true.

Level 1 in Morrowind as a newbie who doesn't know up from down is like waking up in the woods naked with the sound of hungry wolves all around you.

It's brutal, and exciting- every little victory- a potion, a new dagger, a new piece of armor- feels like the world to you.

I LOVED the early game in Morrowind, more than I ever liked it in Oblivion, Fallout 3, Fallout NV, Skyrim, or Fallout 4 (yeah I'm looping the bethesda engine NV in).

Because I constantly felt like I was punching up at a behemoth but I was getting away with it from time to time until I started to feel more on par with the behemoth, and eventually I overcame and hit end game and really became the behemoth and that was fun in its own right.

But I've been "mega end game god" in like 900 dang games at this point, it's always fun! And feeling like I earned it (like here) makes it feel better! But the journey often beats it and Morrowind's journey was so fun to me.

But yeah, beat the main quest. I did a lot in this game, and barely scratched the surface.

Beating it immediately made me think of how fun it would be to challenge myself to beat it- or another objective- right from the start without dumping hundreds of hours into leveling because that early game is a treat.

About the only things I didn't fully love were most of the quest designs showing their age.

Nothing super egregious, but there really was a lot of extremely simple "fetch thing" "Kill thing" "Walk to place" quests that didn't hold additional story value to make up for it.

Not to say simple is bad, but to say having a LOT of my playtime being killing various creatures for no real story reason beyond being asked to makes some actions feel pointless and like busy-work.

There were also quests that DID tie story in, which was really nice to see- things like inter-guild relations becoming a thing for some quests, or some quests having consequences further down the quest chain depending on how you completed it, and of course (as implied) some quests having multiple solutions with some of those solutions being interesting in how you find out about them.

I mean I think it's really neat how the fighter's guild has like 4 quest givers and if you blindly follow them you'll be doing all kinds of questionable stuff with questionable end goals, but if you talk to each of them you'll find that one of them is much more trustworthy and honorable than the rest, and it becomes a common loop to be sent on a quest for the FG and swing by him to ask if the quest sounds legit- AND MANY AREN'T! AND HE OFFERS ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S COOL AND LET'S YOU MAKE THE MISTAKE OF BEING TOO LOYAL AND FORGETTING YOUR MORALS BECAUSE YOU ARE "JUST PLAYING A GAME" BUT REWARDS YOU FOR QUESTIONING THAT LOYALTY AND SEEKING ALTERNATIVE SOLUTIONS! THAT'S AWESOME! Though the solution almost always being "just talk to the good guy before you do the quest" was slightly lacking, but such a cool idea.

But there wasn't a ton of this, but there also wasn't not a lot of this- it was an idea they clearly considered playing with and did when they could- I just wish there were both more and that it was used more on the menial tasks you're asked to do as well. I'm a sucker for multiple solutions is all, and consequences appearing later and altering how events play out or quests line up is always cool and I think it only happens a couple times in some guild quests if I'm not mistaken-

But again, I didn't do much in the grand scheme of things lol.

A TON of time invested and still, a metric fuckton to do including 100% of both expansions lol.

So- Morrowind. I really like this game :)

I think it's my favorite TES game, though I might change my mind whenever I revisit TES4, but I can at least say it's my favorite early game BY FAR and PROBABLY my favorite TES game.

I wonder if I can get buff enough to kill Dagoth Ur with like potion abuse. I haven't looked into it, all I know about him (and I knew before this gameplay also, I was just attacking out of curiosity) is that phase 2 rapidly regens health at like 2 billion a second or something, so you have to one shot him if at all possible.

Also I knew that he was supposed to be weaker depending on how many ash vampires you killed, but that that wasn't properly implemented (and I don't think the morrowind code patch bothers fixing it?).

Anywho- great game. I've been playing a lot of good games lately now that I think of it. I mean most of this blog is me playing good games, but I feel like, and I could be mistaken, but I feel like there was a stint there where I was playing "complicated" games and "games I don't enjoy but want to see the merit of so I'm being a sourpuss while I play".

Now I feel like the last 10 dang games were strictly good and or great. Can't say that's a bad thing :)

If you haven't ever played Morrowind before but you're familiar with say Skyrim, I'd honestly say give it a look. A look first- because it's a thick game to begin and you might be able to discern it's not for you based off a look- but a look none the less.

It's Skyrim with more RPG nonsense going on and a more brutal "rags to riches" hero story for your protag. Might be up your alley as much as it ended up being up mine :)

So up next is EITHER an entirely different game with some ocassional Morrowind posts as I touch on the expansions, or more direct Morrowind content as I emphasize the expansions until I finish them, but I'm leaning towards the former.

I think beating the main quest has earned Vaksten the Idiot a short break.

[werevulvi]

Finally someone i can relate to somewhat. I like the effect of mtf hrt for the most part but i don't want to forget (or pretend to not know) that i'm a bisexuabl male with a chemically modified body. I am fairly stranded communitywise (ironically gc spaces worsened my dysphoria so i couldn't remain in them) which always brings a cutting sorrow of not having a 'home' but it's kinda good to see people who are on a similar wavelength even if i'm never going to truly meet you. Keep thriving queen!

Hi! I can totally see why gc spaces make your dysphoria worse... I've been noticing that many gc circles (especially radfem) tend to be a bit (lot) anti-male, so if it's those you came across, it's no surprise to me that it made your dysphoria worse. And I'm really sorry about that! I can only imagine that hearing you're some kinda evil oppressor for just how you were born physically can make you hate being male even more. I don't view it quite so harshly. Sure, a few (or a lot) of males were socialised very badly and thus turned out crap humans.

But it's not because of their biology that they're crap humans, and I would never condemn anyone for just the way they're born. I've known horrible men, but also very wonderful men. And most MtF's I've met, I've struggled to relate to, but they've been decent people just living their lives. I don't hate males, I can't agree with that sorta sentiment. I hate how some aspects of male socialisation teaches many men to hate women, but that's hardly the same thing, and I think it's an important distinction to make. Those semantics really do matter.

Point is, it makes sense to me why feminist, and female focused gc spaces, would make a dysphoric male/MtF even more dysphoric instead of less. Let's be honest: they give you all the reasons to hate being male.

And then what other gc spaces are there? Well, the conservative right (many of whom also Christian) comes to mind, and although they're less likely to hate on men, they do have a tendency to be uncomfortably anti-gay and anti-gnc, which... I dunno about you, but that makes at least me incredibly uncomfortable, if not even badly upset. Even those who aren't outright hateful towards gays/lesbians/bisexuals and gender non-conforming people, the vibe is just not very welcoming. That kinda gender critical community is not gonna help any gnc/same sex attracted person feel good about themselves either.

(I'm clearly stating the obvious here, but I think it's important to point out these issues with gc communities, just in case you don't know why they make you feel bad, and in case you want to know. If not... I'm sorry for salting your wounds!)

And that's about it when it comes to gender critical spaces, aside from individual people who aren't really aligned with any specific ideology, but still criticise gender ideology harshly, and/or help raise the voices of those who do. Posie Parker, Benjamin Boyce, Joe Rogan, and Arielle Scarcella come to mind. They're gender critical to varying degrees, but not particularly conservative, nor radfem. Although I've rarely ever seen any gc stuff that's actually positive towards males, that doesn't turn around and say stuff like "I hate men" and "femininity is gross on men" or "don't be gay" etc the very next second. So if I had been male instead, and still dysphoric, I'd probably be having a very difficult time accepting my sex too.

As I've been saying (mostly to myself) lately: we're not broken, the world is.

I feel pretty stranded communitywise too, actually. I have like one foot in the radfem/gc circles and the other foot in trans circles, neither of which really like me criticising them. I mean, it's probably just very human to not like being criticised for one's opinions, but... yeah basically gc's sometimes think I'm either "still in the trans cult" for not wanting to get rid of my physical masculinity, or they think I'm a man pretending to be a detrans woman, and they don’t like that I disagree with some of their views. The trans masses on the other hand generally have far more issues with me, my opinions and my identity. They would have be beheaded for less than just looking a little suspicious!

But here's the thing: I think trying to not rely on a community to feel loved and accepted is probably very important. There will always be individual people who love and support you, and agree with things that matter to you. These individuals can come from all sorts of ideological backgrounds, but what ties you together is true friendship, not community, which only mimmicks friendship in an often political way. I'm trying my best to focus on those individuals in my life (which really is just a handful of people) instead of trying desperately to find a whole community that will love and support me. Because that's probably not gonna happen. I am too provocative with my womanhood, and will always keep questioning everything. I don’t actually want to settle ideologically. I want to keep evolving and learning. The way I view myself doesn't really fit into any set ideology, because it’s a combination of things that matter to me personally. It is tailored to fit me and only me. And I think that's what's causing the friction. I'm ideologically a freeloader, or nomad, and thus, I get along best with others who also ideologically freeload.

Alas... I still feel that "ideological homelessness" too, and it does hurt. I think it might just be a result of too much ideological couch surfing. I'm always a guest, but never at home. Thus, I am always treated as a guest, and viewed with more scepticism. Who am I to barge into THEIR community? However, I still have a home, ideologically. It’s just that I’m the only one living there. And I think that might be applicable to you too: you do have an ideological home, you just live alone. That can be lonely, but it also allows you to think more freely and be more genuine about your opinions. Thank you, I want you to thrive too! Meeting irl might not happen on random like that, no, as I'm suspecting you don't live on the same Swedish island as me... but if you think an online friendship might be worth a shot... it's totally okay to send me a pm! I will warn you though, that I have a tendency to ignore people for a few weeks here and there though, as my sensory overload gets the best of me... really a lot. It's a challenge to be my friend, but some have told me it's really rewarding once they do get to know me. It's up to you! But I get the feeling that we might get along well.

[neoarchipelago]

Citrus, Cauldron and Gun Powder Chapter 2 (Witch!reader x John Wick)

A/N: Well, this is pretty dark, enjoy, don't hesitate to leave a feedback... Hum yeah.. idk

This is highly inspired by this song:

Word count : 3 024 

Warning: BLOOD, CURSING, CREEPY STUFF

---

You didn't move. You still held onto Neko without making a sound. You were trying to control your breathing and your wrecked brain. That feeling of blurriness as the dark magic floods through your veins was addictive. You simply looked away, not wanting to stare at him any longer. The whispers who had been so loud a few seconds ago were finally shutting up and you closed your eyes, feeling the usual burning in them that finally told you that your eyes had gotten back to normal. You heard John move but you decided to stay still. You knew he wouldn't try anything. 

His voice made you slightly jump. 

"Are you ok?" 

You looked at him wide eyed. The tears had flooded your cheeks. He was sitting down, his back against the wall of the hallway, looking at you. He wasn't… scared? You nodded slightly, confused. However none of you moved. The silence was deafening but it was always better than the voices. You stayed like this for a few minutes and when you were finally ready to speak to him, you looked up, only to find him sound asleep. He was still hurt and had probably passed out. 

"You should take care of him. He tried to save you (y/n)." Neko spoke. 

You sighed and looked around the room. The moonlight was lighting up the room just fine, the dying fire of the fireplace glowing. There was broken glass everywhere… dead bodies… everywhere. The sight almost made you hear those awful little whispers once more. You groaned at the mess you were in once more. 

"I'm a fucking idiot." You let out, your voice raspy from the silent cries. 

You stood up slowly, taking a deep breath. He knew. You couldn't turn back time. You had to face it. Taking another huge breath, you took back control of all of your senses and got to work. A spell to the broken window, another to the broken door. More wood in the fireplace and another levitation spell for John. His dog walked with you upstairs and laid down on the bed next to him. Letting Neko walk into the room as well, you walked out and closed the door yourself behind you. The soft sound of the lock echoing through the house. The silence was suffocating, almost too perfect for what you were about to do. You let yourself slide down the door and sat on the ground. The cracking noises of the house perfectly clear, the eyes in the shadows perfectly visible. You were too familiar with this environment. With the darkness and what lied in it. 

Taking a deep breath you finally spoke out the words you knew way too well. Singing the macabre lullaby in a soft whisper.

" Glowing eyes in the dark, little evil lights,

let me hear how they bark, show me their bites. 

Let them roam free in my kingdom, as it is filled with poor wisdom, 

let them eat what's forgotten,the bodies and soul of the rotten" 

The groaning sounds echoed and you stared at the dark hallway, with the stairs at the end of it. The sound of paws hitting the ground, bites, growls, barks. You knew it wouldn't take long for the hellhounds to take care of the bodies, and you knew how fresh human blood was tempting to them. Your one job was to make sure they ate the dead and let the living alone until you threw them back into their dark little garden.  Not every witch knew how to summon hellhounds, those deadly beasts didn't hesitate on attacking witches, and other poor souls who were stupid enough to call them. You however… you were familiar with hellhounds. You had long reached dark paths of magic that many witches wouldn't dream of. You had befriended the demons hiding underneath children's bed, the wraiths in the graveyards, the whispers in the darkness that you don't think twice about or that gush of wind that makes you shiver unknowingly of what's hovering above you. The stairs screeched. 

The shadow in the mirror that you are unaware of when you go to the bathroom at night. The paws walked up, stair by stair.

The thing you don't see staring at you when you're sleeping soundly. The growling intensified. You closed your eyes, feeling the familiar burn in your pupils. 

Or even… the glowing eyes in your closet at night. Or the ones of the evil little creatures who are just waiting for you to turn your back. You opened your now black eyes to stare into bright glowing red ones. The creature was hardly recognizable in the darkness. The dog like figure, with ripped skin, evil eyes, sharp claws stood watching you, halted by the darkness surrounding you. The soft black smoke escaped from you, your hair, your skin. It felt empowering. It did. That power rushing through you, the pure energy you had gotten perfectly used to. It was empowering to see a hellhound yelp at your sight, and run away. But it was also poisonous, for you and everything around you. The howling sounds grew more distant, until nothing was heard anymore. You stood up sighing. 

You walked down stairs looking around to check for any.. leftovers. There was still blood everywhere, but no bodies to see. You smirked and you knew you probably looked just as evil as those things hiding in the dark, with your pitch black eyes, that soft smoke rising around you and the devilish smirk on your lips. You couldn't exactly check that though, you had absolutely zero mirror in the house. Not that you were afraid of the things hiding inside of them. But out of fear of the darkness inside your own self reflecting into them. 

You had to clean up the splattered blood, and the pools of the red liquid on your beautiful dark wood floor. You could just throw a spell to clean it up, but you needed an occupation right now for many reasons. You walked into the kitchen, the sound of pan's hitting each other slightly heard. You wondered what creature had just escaped as you had stepped in but shrugged it off. Grabbing a sponge, something to scrub the floor and a bucket that you filled with water, you walked back into the Hallway. Kneeling down you started to scrub down the pools of blood on the ground. 

The little voices all around the house filled your ears. They laughed, and screamed just for you to hear and you scrubbed the floor harder. Your breathing quickening, you put more strength into your work, more than necessary. Tears filled your eyes, not out of fear or out of sadness but out of rage. Listening to the nonsense of the spirits and the villains that hid behind the darkness was truly maddening. Throwing away the bloodied sponge you exploded. 

"Enough! Shut up!" You half yelled in rage. 

Silence fell as you closed your eyes. You had long stopped to fear them, but you still remembered the first moments when you had fell deeply into darkness. You remember those nights awake, curled up in your bed, knowing they'd come for you. And they did. But they had not found a soft little girl curled up in fear. 

The floor creaked behind you and opened your eyes. Which creature was stupid enough to sneak up on you? 

"(y/n)?" 

Your breath caught in your throat. A stupid creature indeed, but with such a deep and soothing voice. You found yourself almost automatically losing your dark eyes as they were back into usual (e/c) ones. You turned around slowly, looking up at the towering figure. 

"Please… don't sneak up on me John." You let out.

He nodded, and none of you moved. 

"Who were you talking to?" His deep voice filled your ears once more. 

You looked at him frowning a bit, opened your mouth to speak, but nothing came out. As no answer seemed to reach him, he spoke once more. 

"Nevermind. I don't think I want to know yet." He let out in a low voice. 

You smiled weakly at him. Looking back down at your dirty floor you grabbed your sponge once more and dipped it into the water bucket. John moved, grabbing something as well and started to scrub the floor with you. 

"You should rest, you're still not fully healed." You said softly. 

"I'm much better than I should be. Thanks to someone" he finished eyeing you knowingly. 

You looked away and kept cleaning up the blood that splattered on the wall.  Silence fell once more.

"I didn't thank you for it." 

You looked at him, nodding at him. You didn't want to  be thanked. You were a witch, witch healed. It was a normal behavior. Even if you hadn't healed anyone in a while before John. Going back to your task you found the moment perfectly soothing. And in no time everything would be clean.

----

You looked around at the perfectly clean room as you sighed. John looked around as well before walking into the kitchen, you following him. He cleaned the sponges in the sink as you stood not too far. Glancing at the wall you noticed the bullet impact on the wall. The bullet that didn't meet its target. You sighed again and put your hand over it, as if hiding it. Whispering another spell, you took off you hand to a perfectly fixed wall. When you looked back at John he was staring at you. 'oh. Right. I forgot.' 

You eyed each other not moving. You knew he was going to ask it. You were waiting for that question. And you knew you couldn't lie. 

"What are you?"

You looked at him frowning once more and repeated your previous ritual. You opened your mouth to speak, without finding the right words. But you had to find something to say. So you went for the blunt truth, with no explanation. 

"A witch." 

No reaction. 'really??' you wanted to speak out but you prefered not to push it, you looked away. 

"And…" you looked up at him. " Do all witches talk so little? Or is it just you?" You gasped "because I've never been so forced to talk to someone in my entire life." 

You chuckled at his frown. 

"What do you want to know?" You finally let out. 

"Everything." His tone made you shiver but you nodded nevertheless. 

You walked into the living room, John following you. As you both sat on the couch, you sighed and looked at him. 

"You have to be more specific, or it'll take months. What do you wish to know?" You said. 

"How did you got to me?" 

You frowned at how the question sounded. 

"I didn't got to you. You ended up in my path trust me you cause me more trouble than anything else!" You let out coldly. 

It must have angered him because he rose from the couch and spoke just as coldly. 

"Ok, I don't have time to deal with a kid, even less a brat." He spoke just as coldly. 

You felt your own rage rise as you rose from the couch as well. 

"I beg your pardon? I'm probably fucking older than you and look who's talking Mister Sunshine." You let out, your voice dripping of sarcasm.

You both froze. Alright. This conversation had not started well. You sighed, but keeping a frown on your face you spoke out. 

"I was just passing by next to that hotel. The street had been entirely closed up and it was perfect for me to go home faster. I found your dog, who led me to you. I wasn't really going to… meddle in human affairs. But people were coming by and I heard they wanted to kill you. I have to be honest with you I didn't really think when I brought you home but it was already done so I helped you." You finished letting yourself fall back down on the couch, folding your arms on your chest. 

He mimicked you, and silence fell. Your eyes looked into the fire burning softly in the fireplace. 

"How are you probably older than me?" He asked, his tone tainted in confusion. 

You smirked. 

"Witches age differently compared to other living things. In some cases, they may never die unless killed. It depends on a variety of reasons and factors but we still live much longer than humans" you explained. 

"So. How old are you?" He asked looking at you. 

"Over 350 years old." You said in a smirk. 

"Definitely older than me, grandma." He mumbled. 

You glared at him, but his smirk made your anger vanish. He looked almost alright. It made your heart soften, and you mentally wondered why. 

"Are all witches like you? You look… powerful." He asked again. 

This time you felt yourself grow anxious. 

"No… they're not." You looked away. 

"So you guys have like? Meetings?" He kept asking away. 

"We do… but… I'm not part of it anymore." You let out, your eyes losing focus into the flames. 

"Why not?" 

You didn't answer. Memories flooding your mind. You curled up in the couch, your arms around your knees. Still not managing to actually look at him, you mumbled out something, hoping he'd let it go. 

"I got cast away." 

You could feel his stare burning into you. You were silently hoping it wasn't going to speak out that question. 

"Why?" 

And he did. You sighed. What were you losing on telling him? Perhaps he would do just the same right after, and you'd learn more about him. 

"I've always been… more or less cast away. I was born in a perfect little witch family, and I was the little girl my parents always wanted. But I was… different. I attracted darker energy, and I danced with darker spirits. I scared away the other kids when we played and practiced. I was… more prone to black magic we'd say. My parents quickly decided it wasn't good for the blood line so I lived with my grandma and she taught me everything. I learned to be good, to do good, and to cast aside anything dark. Around...1692…" John frowned, probably still not used to such old dates. "I fell in love…" your eyes were stuck in the flames that seemed to dance like a fire you once knew. 

"He was sweet, and I wanted to be his forever. Of course it was complicated. And things turned dark." Your eyes stung with tears. 

"What happened?" John softly asked, pushing you to keep going.

"The witch trials started. I don't exactly remember why or how, but many of us were being hunted down and killed. My grandma wanted to us run away, but I didn't want to leave. Because of him. I know I should have been more careful… I ended up being caught by his own father who sentenced me to burn at the stake. It's so cliché" You finished in a sour laugh. "I was kept in a cage, and he came to save me in the night… obviously we were caught. My grandma tried to save us both… but she was killed…" it was hard to speak in between your breath that hitched through the sobs you were containing. 

"And… his own father… killed him…"  rage filled you once more the memory so vivid. "I..I was… so... filled... with rage… that I forgot everything that I was taught … and I let the darkness take control…" you were angrily crying on your couch, now, the presence of John almost erased. 

"What did you do?" The question fell out of his lips and reached you without truly bringing you back to reality.

"I killed them… I killed them all… I burnt the village and the villagers… I let monsters ...roam free into the streets. I gave them what they wanted… an evil little monster…" tears fell slowly, as your eyes saw in the flames the same ones that burnt everything so long ago. 

"Did you love him?" John's voice sounded lower and angrier. 

"More than anything…" you spoke letting out another tear. "After that… the coven I was part of… that my… family was part of, decided I couldn't live any longer… my own parents were instructed to kill me… but unfortunately for them, I was lost in dark place, and I was the one that killed them. Seeing me as a threat for them, they stopped hunting me, the other witches and warlocks. But they cast me away. I am no longer allowed to contact them, or deal with them, any of them." You finished wiping away your tears. Trying to breathe calmly again. "I'm just… a monster for them… and they're probably right…you should be scared of me" you finished looking down.

"A monster is not afraid of another monster." 

His words made you look at him in confusion. You watched his lips, his movements, as he explained his own story. His job, his encounter with the woman who changed everything… the way she died and the puppy he was gifted with. Hearing the death of the poor thing made your own blood boil… you don't know what you'd do if someone killed Neko. You listened how he hunted down the awful boy and killed everyone in his way, but his past came crushing on him after that. You heard his troubles and the way he was so lost down that path that he crossed a sacred line, turning him excommunicado. You saw yourself in that story. You felt the same pain… 

"I'll help you. If you want me to of course … I'll help you John. You'll find peace." You told him, looking at him in the eyes. 

"Only if you allow me to help you find yours…" he spoke leaving you baffled. 

Help ...you? 

It has been a while since someone had wanted to help you. But you nodded, sealing a contract between you two that would intertwine both of your life in a way you never expected.

----

Tags: hope i don't forget anyone

@fanficsrusz @keanu-fics @celestiaelisia @glamorizedtrainwreck @baphometwolf666 @drunkonyellow @thatlibrachild @loohsouzar @idk-alli-it @keanuchillz @freshoutthebox @lustforfern @imblackmagicwoman @theolsdalova @thatbemyhouse @magdazwolska @shadowlyorphan @strangewhovian-blog @tnu-ree @oliviaistx @gypsydraig-thevetstudent @linwavez

[albatris]

Hello! I think it was you I saw a post about making more realistic characters with psychosis (I think that's the right word?), and I was wondering if you have any guidelines or help saved for what to do and not to do with them? Because I'm making a new character right now and it sounds like psychosis might fit with them so I want to see if I could make it work :) thank you so much for any help or nudges towards help that you can give! I hope you have a wonderful day!

Hello! Aha yeah that was probably me, or if it wasn’t me that particular time you’re thinking of, it absolutely has been me at some point or another, I’m definitely not quiet about how much I’m on the lookout for realistic psychosis rep. And I’m super happy you’re looking into it! We definitely need more of it! Much excitement on my end over here and good luck with your character-creating and research! I hope you’re having a wonderful day too!!

OK LONG POST

So firstly I wanna emphasise that “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of different symptoms and experiences! And that there are many different psychotic disorders. In terms of psychosis symptoms, most commonly people think of hallucinations, delusions and paranoia. And while you can have a character whose psychosis is limited to those things, because any array and combination of symptoms is possible, this isn’t the case for many psychotic people! There are a lot of other common facets of psychosis that exist that are hardly ever addressed in fiction (and are specific criteria for certain psychotic disorders). I will talk about some of these in one of my lists! This is something to be aware of regardless, but especially if you’re going to be depicting a specific disorder, because often there are a lot more symptoms/criteria that go into a psychotic disorder than people think and you’ll want to do your research on the disorder in question.

Anyway so this is a HUGE question and I’ve broken my response into some lists, we’ve got some lists, we’ve got a general what to do list, a general what not to do list, and a things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context list

some non-exhaustive lists, hey, because I’m sure I’ve forgotten a bunch of things that I’ll think of later and be like Oh Man I Forgot That Thing

and I wanna emphasise re my what to do and what not to do lists, these lists are gonna be fairly general, because without knowing your specific story and the character in question, I can’t cover all the things, yeah? For me to get super specific with these lists it would depend on the character in question, the premise of your story, the setting, the specific symptoms you want to represent, etc, etc…

ANYWAY

LIST TIME

AND READMORE TIME UNDER THE CUT

we’re gonna start with….. (because my first dot point is my most important and literally no other reason)

What not to do

Firstly, don’t freak out. Try not to get overwhelmed! Honestly it can seem like a really huge thing to tackle, but don’t let anxiety about getting it wrong stop you from trying, if you decide that this is something you want to include for your character. You can start small, you can work bits and pieces into your character, you can explore different things and see what happens! Anyone who is writing an experience that they themselves haven’t experienced is bound to make some mistakes, and that’s more than okay! Be open to learning and listening!

Don’t use psychosis for a cheap plot twist or shock value.  Hey, there’s lots and lots of ableist twists and tropes out there involving psychosis. Stuff like “none of it was real, it was just some crazy mentally ill person’s fantasy the whole time!!!!” tends to be tired and stale at best and horribly ableist at worst. Also certain tropes in fantasy settings such as schizophrenia being caused by demons can get real dicey real quick. If you want to go the direction of having some sort of “twist” around it, definitely ask around and get some opinions from psychotic people on it. Like, absolutely, twists around psychosis can be done, but there’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them.

Don’t present psychosis as some sort of horrible dead end or the worst possible thing that can happen to a person. This is something I see a weird amount of? Please do your best not to present psychosis as some awful world-ending tragedy, do your best not to treat it like some sort of fate worse than death. Like absolutely psychosis can be debilitating and exhausting and difficult to deal with at times, but as a non-psychotic author please do not use it as, like, grief p-rn or whatever. Also we end up dying at the end of a lot of stories and that’s supposed to be, like, a relief? Like “oh they never would have had a happy life, this is probably for the best” and like whoa that’s not probably not a great message to be sending. You can definitely delve into some of the challenges and struggles of psychosis but be really mindful of the way you’re talking about it. And the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, fulfilling lives is something that needs to die like yesterday

Don’t have the character’s psychosis only present when it’s convenient for the plot. This goes for any mental illness, and I see it with every mental illness. It’s something that exists in the plot only when it’s cool and edgy, or only when it’s convenient, or only when it’s relevant. Or, the illness will exist, but only the symptoms that the author can glamorise or use for edgy plot purposes. Another way of phrasing this is psychosis doesn’t exist in your story just to make it interesting. It’s not something you can dip in and out of and only commit to when it’s easy or when it suits your story. That doesn’t mean it has to be the sole focus or all-encompassing, but it does mean you need to actually commit. 

If you’re not psychotic, I highly highly highly advise against writing a psychotic villain. And I know me saying outright “don’t write a psychotic villain” is probably gonna strike some nerves for people because blah blah people can write whatever they want and blah blah there’s a way to do everything respectfully and blah blah what if my psychotic villain is a sympathetic character and morally complex and not all bad and look, I get it, I get it, I get it

I’m sure it is possible to write an interesting, morally complex, respectfully-depicted psychotic villain, but that’s not the point, that’s not the problem! The issue is that we have barely any psychotic heroes and protagonists and good guys! We have no positive rep to balance it out! We might have more space for well-written psychotic villains if we had an equal amount of psychotic good guys. Like…. psychosis is terrifying and isolating enough to deal with on its own, but adding to this is the fact that most of the representation we see is in the form of villains, antagonists, killers, etc. and like…. not only is that awful to see as a psychotic person, but fiction doesn’t exist in a vacuum and psychosis is already misunderstood and demonised enough

This is less a hard-and-fast DON’T DO THIS and more just a very very strong opinion, like, I can’t stop you if that’s what you’re doing but just. something to bear in mind, y’know? 

And now onto:

What to do

Listen to psychotic people in your research! (You knew this one was coming, hopefully!) A whole serious tonne of your research should come in the form of sources by actual psychotic people, like, read their work! Read their books! Read their papers! Visit blogs, visit forums, listen to their experiences! Listen to their experiences of the specific symptoms you want to include in your story! Most importantly, take in what they’re saying and don’t assume you know better than them about their lived experiences!

You’ll get a much better sense of how psychosis affects people and the different ways people deal with it, and you will learn things you would not have even considered otherwise! Medical webpages and articles are fine but if you want a realistic portrayal, this is absolutely not an optional step. I have read way too many books with psychotic rep written by authors who have clearly just………. never actually listened to a psychotic person talk about their experiences in their entire life and it’s actually mind-boggling to me

On this note, I follow a lot of psychosis support and information blogs on here for psychosis reasons, but a lot of these blogs are okay with and happy for people to follow them for learning or to gain a better knowledge of psychosis to support others in their lives or to ask questions about experiences. You can also find a lot of YouTube channels where people with psychosis talk about their experiences. These sorts of things can be a good place to start!

Research psychosis itself, not “writing psychotic characters”. General advice posts about how to write psychotic characters can be a good jumping off point and link to some good resources, but they’re a step removed and shouldn’t form the entire basis of your research. These posts can be great, especially if they’re made by people who experience psychosis, but they’re still meant as a starting point and you should be doing your own research as well. As a general rule, your research shouldn’t come primarily through the lens of “how do I write a psychotic character”, and should very much come through the lens of “what are psychotic experiences?” and “how do people deal with psychosis?” and “how does psychosis affect people?” and other such questions, so that you have the knowledge of to write these characters.

Also, because “how to write psychotic characters” as a google search will lead you through a plethora of terrible pages titled things like “HOW TO WRITE AN INSANE UNSTABLE CHARACTER!!!” and things that equate psychosis to being inherently violent, evil, unstable, dangerous, etc. and, I mean, I shouldn’t have to tell you that there’s absolutely nothing of value to be found in these pages? But hey.

On that note, ableist language is a huge red flag for “hey this source is a bad source”. Be mindful of your non-psychotic sources.

Be aware that there are also negative and cognitive symptoms of psychosis, and positive symptoms other than hallucinations and delusions. So I mentioned this a bit earlier, that there are a lot of other facets of psychosis that I rarely see addressed in fiction. For a lot of psychotic and schizospec disorders the symptoms can fall under the categories of positive symptoms (which “add” something, eg, delusions, hallucinations (auditory, visual, tactile, pretty much any sense) disorganised behaviour, disorganised speech), negative symptoms (which “take away”, eg, lack of motivation, flat affect, reduced speech, social withdrawal) and cognitive symptoms (eg, memory problems, disorganised thoughts, concentration problems, difficulty processing information). For most people with psychosis there will be a range of symptoms across these areas. Even if you’re not currently experiencing positive symptoms, negative and cognitive symptoms can be affecting areas of your life as well.

Of course, it’s definitely possible to experience only a handful of symptoms and there are plenty of people who experience some symptoms of psychosis outside of having a specific psychotic disorder, so it depends on what applies to your character. That being said, it is something I would love to see a lot more of in fiction because it’s………. honestly a really huge part of psychosis experience for a majority of people? And it can really help a realistic representation, as well as giving some visibility to other, less-known effects of psychosis. THAT being said, if you are writing a specific disorder such as schizophrenia, schizoaffective, etc, including other symptoms is definitely not optional. There are a lot of cookie-cutter representations of disorders like schizophrenia that barely cover half of what schizophrenia actually involves. Again, research is ur best bud

Understand that for a lot of people, psychosis isn’t really a switch that flips from ON to OFF. What I mean by this is for a lot of people, while psychosis can come in episodes, it affects most of a person’s life one way or another. Like for me personally, even on my best week, it’s still something that shapes the way I understand the world and it’s a lens through which I interpret the reality around me. It’s not something that disappears completely. It’s not something I can untangle from my gender and my sexuality or my experiences of religion or my relationships, it’s not necessarily something I can untangle from myself as a person. I have a different relationship with the world around me, and that’s not a bad thing. Sometimes it’s a nice thing. Sometimes it’s a difficult thing. Mostly, it’s just a thing. So when you’re writing a character who experiences psychosis, consider the ways it might present itself and what affects of it might be present outside of an episode. This might be in the way they see the world, or the way they speak, or the way they go about their every day life such as rituals or safety or clothing choices or things they avoid. Honestly there’s such a huge diverse range of experiences and it will depend on your character.

Understand that no two experiences of psychosis are going to be the same. Again, “psychosis” itself is a super broad label that encompasses a lot of symptoms that can come in any number of combinations and presentations, and even two people with the exact same set of symptoms can have those symptoms expressed in entirely different ways. Even two people with the same disorder are going to have different experiences of it. And beyond the differences in psychosis itself, the experience of psychosis intersects with other aspects of a person’s identity such as sexuality, gender, race, religion, etc. in fairly major ways as well. There’s not a “one size fits all” when it comes to experiencing psychosis. Consider what sorts of experiences might impact your character and understand the diversity of experiences! Research, research 

Remember that first and foremost, you’re writing a character. They have a life, opinions, likes, dislikes, neighbours, goals, whatever. Their experience with psychosis may be something that shapes their life significantly and something that affects a lot of other facets of their experience, or it might not be, but either way it’s not the only part of their identity. Your character should be just as varied and nuanced and in-depth as any of your other characters. 

and now a definitely non-exhaustive list but a list that’s good enough for now considering my brain is fried:

Things I would personally love to see more of but aren’t applicable to every story and context

Casual, everyday depictions of going about life with psychosis. I mean, this is just in general, in general I would love to see more representation in fiction of mentally ill characters going about their daily lives alongside Whatever Nonsense is going on in the main plot, where it’s acknowledged that they’re also attending therapy or taking meds or dealing with symptoms or in treatment. I think it can go a huge way in the normalisation of people dealing with mental illness and the fact that mental illness is a part of some people’s lives. I would love to see this specifically in stories that aren’t About Mental Illness. Like, an urban fantasy story where a character is shown casually taking their meds? Or a YA story where a character mentions they can’t do a particular thing ‘cause they have a psych appointment booked for that day? Or characters using coping strategies and it’s not treated as weird or other? Just, characters with psychosis, existing, in their every day lives

Supportive friends and family, or good support networks in general. Partly because I’m a sucker for found family tropes and cheesy power of friendship stories, but like, psychotic characters with friends who support them and understand them and who help them with their coping strategies! Psychotic characters with healthy support systems and friendships! Psychotic characters who get to goof off and have fun with their friends, and who get to support and help their friends! Psychotic characters who get to have romantic relationships with supportive partners! 

Happy endings! I mentioned this earlier, too, like…… in terms of representation, so much of what’s out there is either psychotic characters as villains or psychotic characters dying tragically, and this over and over and over again, y’know, eventually the message being driven home is “there is no good ending for you!” which is………. bullshit, obviously. But it can be terribly isolating and scary to internalise if you’re experiencing psychosis, and even if you know it’s bullshit, it’s exhausting! You want to see yourself represented as someone who has a future and can be happy! As I said earlier, the idea that psychotic people can’t live happy, whole, fulfilling lives needs to die, and we are in dire, dire need of stories with good endings for psychotic people.

Explicit representation of specific disorders. I was going to say that schizophrenia is something most people think of when it comes to psychosis representation in fiction, but like, honestly, a lot of those writers don’t even do the bare minimum research for what schizophrenia involves and they have a really stereotyped version of the disorder that they clearly haven’t researched at all……. but anyway yes, my point is, there are a lot of different psychotic disorders, and I would love to see some of them represented explicitly, and not just left vague and unlabelled. I would also like to see accurate, well-researched, actual representation of schizophrenia. I would also like to see psychotic depression! Or schizotypal personality disorder! Or schizoaffective! I’d like to see some actual names

Anyway that’s all that’s coming to me right now even though I’ve probably missed like fifty things for each of these lists……………… I hope that this has been a little bit helpful, maybe, somewhat, perhaps, who knows, I reserve the right to come back and say more things,

[neuxue]

So I'm reading your CoS reviews and something jumped out - you seem to think that Egwene blackmailing the Aes Sedai into swearing fealty is different from Elaida because there is no Oath Rod involved. But that's what compells Myrelle & Nisao to keep their oath. Also, you seem to think that there is a distinction about obedience, but if she can assign Siuan to be in charge, they ARE being made to obey, not just be loyal.

(2/4) Another issue with Egwene’s Oath of Fealty in CoS. Elaida had convicted rebels swear the Oath in mitigation of their rebellion against the same authority. It was the EXACT rationale used to make Myrelle & Nisao swear, except Egwene just did it for personal advantage, and Nisao herself didn’t even do anything wrong, she was just facing the same sort of unjust Tower justice as Elayne for the secret of the Kin. What should her priority have been, saving Lan or being holier-than-thou with Myrelle? 

(3/4) More Egwene’s Oath: Egwene’s attitude in the whole morning is very contradictory. The night before she was smug about taking control of minor admin stuff from Sheriam and aghast at the idea of anyone blackmailing AS or AS swearing fealty, but in the AM, she’s mad about the papers on her desk & blackmails AS into fealty. Also she’s in the middle of a false flag operation, tricking people into fighting a war they’d never fight if they had the facts. It seems like Egwene is secretly in the wrong 

(4/4) Final issue with Egwene in aCoS, I promise: How did we get from two books of Rand being the priority in Salidar, both in N&E’s motive for going there, then searching for the Bowl, lying to make them think they need Rand, and suddenly it’s all about Egwene’s power? She’s 18 with no qualifications, and for all she’s supposed to make the Tower help the good guys, she gets mad at N&E because SAVING THE WORLD might cause HER problems & condemns Rand for doing what she did except AS actually hurt him.”

For context: Since answering the previous string of asks about Egwene a few days ago, I have received 12 asks, in addition to these, telling me in less civil language about how Egwene is a hypocrite/evil/annoying/the worst and I’m reading her wrong or giving her too much leniency. Just putting that up front in case I sound impatient, because I do value good-faith discussion but the overall tone of my askbox right now is…not so good faith.

And I really don’t mind if people disagree with me on Egwene. That’s fine; you’re entirely within your rights to do so. There are parts of her story and characterisation that are very, very easy to disagree on. That’s okay! They’re supposed to be! She walks pretty close to some lines at various points (like many characters in the series), and whether she steps over those or not is sort of up to you.

But there’s only so much I can respond to on the same topic, especially because it feels like a) I’d just be rehashing things I’ve already said in the liveblog, b) like I said before, it could just keep going because Egwene’s a main character in a 14-book series and there’s a lot of material there to disagree on and c) we clearly do not see eye-to-eye on her character. That’s absolutely fine, but it again contributes to the…lack of enthusiasm I feel about this. 

tl;dr: I like Egwene, and I disagree with some of the specifics you’ve pointed out, but will also acknowledge that she does some things that are morally questionable and arguably hypocritical, and while I don’t have a problem with that in particular, it’s fine if you do.

More on the oaths, the ‘false flag’ operation, and Egwene’s lack of qualifications below.

1: Egwene’s oath

Yeah, this is one where the line between what she does and what Elaida does (and what Rand and Taim and eventually Verin do) is rather fine. I think oaths of fealty, even with the Oath Rod preventing untruths, leave more flexibility, especially to an Aes Sedai, than a very specific Oath of obedience; we see that in how the Aes Sedai sworn to Rand behave. And I think her wording is that they have to treat orders from Siuan as if those orders had come from her: there’s definitely some wiggle room there, if you want to get into technicalities…which I kind of don’t, really. For me, that’s not specifically the point. I also think Elaida’s and Egwene’s respective positions and rationales make enough of a difference that, for me, what Egwene does falls into the category of ‘morally rather shady but in a way I like rather than dislike’.

And most of it comes down to just that: a very subjective liking of this kind of thing. I like watching characters play around in moral grey areas, or struggle with their own pride, or do complicated or questionable things for complicated or questionable reasons. I like when desperate characters, backed into a corner, find a way out that works but isn’t always easy to live with. I like when characters I like find ways to get what they need, and I will absolutely admit that in many cases this is subjective. The more I like the character, and the cleverer their solution, the more likely I am to enjoy it.

Given that…yes, I like seeing Egwene find this solution and implement it. Yes, it’s politically manipulative and at times morally questionable. Yes, I condemn Elaida for something that I see as different but not hugely different. No, I don’t have a list of technicalities that I can use to draw a clear delimiting line and say ‘Egwene is right because X and Y, while Elaida is wrong because Z’. I think Egwene has more justification for what she does, given her position, her options, and her capabilities…but that’s just what I think. It’s messy and ambiguous and there’s a bit of ends justifying the means here, which again I’m kind of…fine with, in fiction, because I like morally sticky situations. If you don’t like those, or you have a line in the sand drawn at a different point than I’ve drawn mine…yes, I can 100% see where you’re coming from, and I’m not going to change your mind, and you’re probably not going to change mine, and that’s fine.

2: Egwene running a false flag operation and tricking people into fighting

They asked. A general. To build. And lead. An army.

Before Egwene even got there.

They started the rebellion. Well, no, Elaida did by leading a coup, and I suppose the Black Ajah by influencing events in that direction and Ishamael by pushing them to do so…

But the Aes Sedai who went to Salidar fought their way out, refused to recognise Elaida’s authority, set up a centre of power and operations outside of and antagonistic to it, and decided to appoint an Amyrlin, and let’s not forget, asked Gareth Bryne to lead an army for them. One of his conditions, which they agreed to, being that they have to see this through. And then they try to get out of that.

She’s tricking them–or rather, manipulating them; I’m not sure it really qualifies as trickery specifically–into actually doing what they have already effectively committed themselves to doing. 

You say ‘if they had all the facts’. What facts don’t they have? Any of them at any point could look at what Egwene’s doing and see where it’s going, but they kind of deliberately don’t. Egwene’s authority, and her motivation for getting them to vote (vote!) to go to war, is a technicality in Tower Law, which they have every reason to know. That they don’t and Egwene does is… kind of their own problem. Also, that they’re surprised at all by the vote of war in the first place is their own problem given, again, that they started a rebellion and hired Gareth Bryne to give them an army.

Does Egwene try to manipulate the political situation? Yes. Does she try to push the Aes Sedai into action when they’d rather sit and talk about acting and actually do nothing? Yes. Is that a false flag operation? No.

3: Egwene is 18 and has no qualifications

3.1: 

Rand al’Thor is 21 and has no qualifications. Perrin is 21 and has no qualifications. Luke bloody Skywalker is 20-ish and has no qualifications. There’s an entire genre out there filled with characters who are young and have no qualifications, by that definition, and Egwene is hardly less qualified for her role than plenty of other WoT characters are for theirs. In real life, that would be more of a problem. In fiction…eh. Depends how well it’s executed, for me. Some people have a higher or lower tolerance for this, and that’s fine. But it’s not remotely specific to Egwene, so I have a hard time taking it seriously.

3.2: 

Is she unqualified? An important point of context here is that this is the apocalypse. Things are falling apart in ways that no one’s really prepared for. The Aes Sedai are broken. This is sort of a theme across the books: the existing powers and systems and authorities are either in denial, or unprepared, or outdated. We can argue all day about the validity of that narrative premise, but that’s how this is set up. It’s how any of the young protagonists end up in power: because, in this ‘nothing is normal and everything is breaking’ world, no one is specifically qualified and those who can’t accept what’s happening are even less so.

Anyway, let’s look at Egwene. She’s trained under Moiraine and Siuan - political experts and also two of the Aes Sedai who have spent the most time preparing for the coming of the Dragon Reborn and the apocalypse. She’s trained under Amys and the Aiel Wise Ones - political experts, though in another culture. She even, arguably, has military experience in that she’s been trained by the Seanchan to be a weapon. She certainly has a great deal of firsthand experience in foreign affairs, having been held by the Seanchan, spent months with the Aiel, and travelled across the continent and interacted or negotiated with various countries’ leaders and governments. She’s familiar with Tower Law (thanks to Siuan), and highly skilled in the use of the One Power. She’s also intimately familiar with a great deal of the shit that has recently hit the fan: she’s a childhood friend of the Dragon Reborn, and has been front and centre at a number of rather key events lately. Also, she’s got good mentors: Siuan and Gareth Bryne, both leaders or former leaders in their own rights, teach her and vouch for her capability.

3.3:

She’s put into the position she’s in precisely because the other Aes Sedai believe her to be too young and unqualified to think or act for herself, and believe they can use her as a figurehead and puppet. They know the things an Amyrlin is and isn’t legally and technically empowered to do (and if they don’t, that’s on them), and they seem to accept the risk they take in appointing her to a position with those powers, trusting that she won’t be able to use them. That they’re wrong about this is their own fault. The lesson here is: don’t put someone in a figurehead role if you’re not prepared for them discovering that they have actual power, and deciding to use it. Look at historical monarchies, and young monarchs, and what happens to their advisers who think ‘I’ve got everything under control’

4. Everything else you’ve mentioned

The rest is subjective enough that trying to argue it would be an exercise in futility, and I feel like that’s not the point here anyway. For instance, “she gets mad at N&E because SAVING THE WORLD might cause HER problems” is…several degrees into interpretation and subjectivity; I disagree that this is what’s happening here, but the framing of this makes it hard to go anywhere productive. Same with “what should her priority have been, saving Lan or being holier-than-thou with Myrelle” - I disagree with the premise of the question itself, so there’s not much I can say.

So I’ll just…leave it there. Nothing’s stopping you from putting together these arguments as a post of your own, but I’m probably done airing them on my blog, given the sheer volume of vitriol I’ve received in response to the last set of asks. 

[the-firebird69]

Zero Motorcycles SR/S

It's pretty pricey for a cheap motorcycle and basically it is cheap and they're asking for $20,000 the price of a decent sedan and we looked at it and said why are they asking so much they think electric is still a novelty ours is about 8,000 but it has all sorts of doodads on it that work and is very efficient and effective motorcycle and it's self-charging I'm already driving it's about 6 00 miles per charge at about 20 per 100 if you are including the self charging add-on which makes it about $700 or 800 miles per charge and that's kind of like I take a gas but it takes an hour and a half to charge still but if you have the extra battery that CAA always talks about you can drive almost indefinitely as it charges one while you're driving and you just switch back to it and the gas tank if you get the add-on doubles as a second giant battery and a lot of you don't care about all that you want storage and it sounds ridiculous because it is some people are like him and kind of cautious to ask if it is safe and it doesn't cause cancer so humidity radiation all that's not true in our bike it's shielded if something happens it would go a different direction it does not emit radiation because of the shielding and we actually specifically decided to collect emissions that are casting in that direction and at all and there aren't any and you don't understand that the bike is cheap I mean this one zero is a piece of junk and it's designed to make you not like electric bikes cuz it doesn't drive very far and doesn't do what it's supposed to I'll stop speed is about 200 mph and it can go faster if you wanted to you have a performance package you can add for about two grand it's as fast as one of the fastest super bikes that you people make that are gas which is very fast about 500 miles an hour and it'll go just as far no not at all it'll go a lot farther even it almost top speed it'll go 10 times as far as the gasoline bike will and you're ridiculous the technology is within your grass you just don't want to use it.

Hera

Zues

So we are and we're Mass producing them and if you want tons of them out there we'll get him a bike but our people say we don't want that many out there because we don't want you zooming all over the place without having to pay some money and go somewhere that we can keep track you with so sit there and suck on it because you'll never do it even that would be really miraculous idea for you but you're dumb rather have him sit there staring at you trying to figure out how to get rid of you when she keeps doing and he's really good at it. In other words you're not buying our electric bike it has this very high capacity and we can't really put how many miles it can go and that might be it because you don't understand what the capacity for miles is for charge but we should say is at maximum performance in max speed you need to charge every 1500 miles because that's about how many and we can put a power usage chart up once you understand that and we can put both and retarded people might have a little difficulty figuring it out and they'll lag behind no matter what you tell them I believe

Thor Freya

It's very simple corking company and screw Trump is just advisor and I expect something from you and you're not doing that badly in this department even though your wacko I want you to go out there corks I don't need to buy a million of these in area today and if you don't believe what Hera has said then stick it with the sun don't shine because our advertising is always truthful and you're going to have a bike that you can just drive around and not have to spend money on gas and it's very efficient and hardly needs to be fixed ever it's complicated technology and you guys need to sit down and look at it cuz you have no idea how most electrical things work of this nature and you need to know because not only are we selling it which is ridiculous but we're selling something that captures electrical radiation and puts it back in stores it or discharges it and that's exactly what you need for Galactus and even though Thor doesn't have confidence ull buy it I think you will

As most of you don't have money to go around buying gas all the time and stopping to gas up as a pain in the ass because everyone's a pain in the ass to you and you'll fool Thor by buying them. And your full mark because you should buy them because the technology is something you should learn about and it's more advanced than what Mac is doing in public and really it's something they're not good at and will and Bill looked at it and said wow that's quite a bike and it's his design for my primarily it is his bike and I copied it and I made one and Thor and I and Apollo and Arianna Nuada and others perfected it, and yes it's a racing bike and yes there is an electric racing bag circuit and yes it is acceptable bike and if you bought a ton of them you could clean up on the circuit or at least you'd be racing us and you leave Mac behind and you can get the high performance package and it goes just as fast. It's a stock Super bike race. Hera added the last two sentences but I want to see you guys out there pronto Green mountain boys and I want to see you with these electric bikes because you can afford them and it's a status symbol if you have more than mac they're going to sale sorts of stuff but they're not going to have these bikes that really are fast and they're quiet too by the way makes a whirring sound it's very quiet compared to a superbike and it doesn't burn any gas and I'm not doing any favors cuz you'd be investigated by us and of course we try and figure out who's buying them and so forth but I just think that someone has to show that you're smarter than someone else and these bikes are smart buy these bikes are smart buy because if the gasoline in your area goes out and you can't afford gas so you can't buy it you can use solar and charge these or you don't have to charge them you see can you buy a few spare batteries you don't have to charge the means if you go around at 100 mph all day long or less you won't have to charge it at all ever if you go around at 500 mph all day long you'll be going only 1500 miles then you'll have to charge it or you find a hill to go down and Hera says yeah you can start up again and go 50 miles an hour for 2 hours and you be fully charged.

Zues Hera

So we're in awe because he says he can sell it to us and it makes sense and we do understand it at a certain energy output the energy input is great enough that it can charge the battery and you can switch to the second battery if the output is too high you drain both batteries down and or the first battery and the second battery is how it really works and we do get that so we're starting to understand something it's very technical but it's not extremely hard to think of except if the other motorcycle companies were still around and we do understand something that this is going to be dominant in the market and the attack bike might take over but right now bja is proving that we need this one and so it's a big selling point you can use them off planet too and you can fly around on the moon or as it looks like we're going to have this fight up and one of the moons I think it's earths and no oxygen is required for it to work so are consumed is interest because he says we just have to put some sort of heat and cooling system on it make sure that the motor and the battery didn't freeze or heat up too much just like you are spacesuit and other than that you would have a machine that speed and accuracy is unbeatable off planet because of the nature of the motorcycle being able to traverse rough and difficult and impossible terrain versus a full four-wheel vehicle so we found the bike and he said this is impossible you could ride around the planet 10 times and a lot of is probably with and do nothing but just keep riding around it

Cork and bja

[adhd-ahamilton]

C F I M S T Y :) (I'm sorry....) ❤️

Never apologise for responding to these memes :P And oh, one of them’s already done, so that’s ONE less... :P

C: What character do you identify with most?

Lmao that’s a really good question!! It’s funny... I think many of us went through a similar process here, of liking Hamilton and relating to him, but then also encountering Laurens and really relating to him? But I think that’s because Hamilton is a specific kind of person, that a lot of the time it’s less relating to him outright and more... looking to him as an example? Both good and bad. Being enthralled by him and wanting to learn from him and figure out how to take on those qualities of passion and ambition and hard work without also gaining the many negative qualities. And I think that’s part of what interested John about Alex as well - John had so much tendency to self-doubt, and of course there was the whole issue of what he would study and how his dad basically forced him into law, but then there’s Alex who is so sure of what he’s going to do and how he’s going to do it...

But ramble aside: I identify a lot with Laurens like emotionally? And tend to project my insecurities and worries onto him. And also since I am also a white person from a wealthy family I try to kinda... be aware of that through him, as a way to work through what it’s easy to forget in my position and how I need to do better. So I guess I relate to him morally, as well. But... I first did get into this fandom because I saw something in Hamilton that I almost never saw in any other characters. Like, I almost never really relate to characters? There isn’t any character at all I can point to and say ‘yep, they’re just like me’? And Hamilton spoke to me in a bunch of ways I didn’t think I’d ever find. But like I said, it’s also partially a lesson thing - he taught me that I could be the way I was and still work and achieve things and be useful and do good, but it was also kind of a ‘yeah you can do better in THESE ways though, wow’ kind of thing. So though I don’t write from his POV much for various reasons, I definitely relate to him in some really important ways as well.

And uh, beyond this fandom... I love Leslie Knope but I’m more like Ben Wyatt, and there’s a whole bunch of moe anime girls that I relate way too much to (like Suou from Flowers and Hanamaru from Love Live! and oh god, Tsukimi from Princess Jellyfish for sure...)

F: Care to share a favorite hurt/comfort fic?

Hmmmmm! :O There are a lot of good ones by Madtom and Publius in their whole verse! Also, going through my fic tag... wow this one by ciceroprofacto is SO GOOD (it’s not like overtly hurt/comfort but the overtone is definitely there in the end).

And beyond this fandom... I was into Supernatural right before this and lmao, canon-verse Dean/Castiel is like, inherently hurt/comfort :P And yet my favourite is probably this human AU one where Dean is a paraplegic and Cas is a guy who comes in to hang out and talk with people at the care facility and it’s written so so sensitively and avoids a lot of the gross ableist tropes that are so common in this type of fic because it’s written by someone who actually knows their stuff a lot and it’s REALLY GOOD and great!!

(Also just in general I tend to bookmark fic on AO3 when I like them, and I read for a pretty broad array of fandoms, so if you’re looking for recs you might find some you like there!)

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

MAN like I really have a thing for like... stuff to do with intimacy? Specifically, kinda mismatched or forced intimacy or whatever. Like the classic ‘there’s only one bed’ thing, where two characters who are just friends (or, like ‘’just friends’’) suddenly have to share a bed together, or the even MORE classic pretend lovers thing, where two friends have to pretend to be a couple and it’s all awkward and uncomfortable and they start feeling it FOR REAL but then it’s like nooo they’re only pretending, we have to act like we’re so close but we’re not but I wish we were...! MAN it’s so great!! Like IDK there’s just something about characters ending up in this position and it’s awkward but they end up learning so much about each other and then falling for each other and that just makes it even worse... Love it :’)

Or like, I looove like sexual tension and friendships that tip just a bit over too much and that steady slow burn as they get closer and closer and they’re SO CLOSE to getting together but NOT QUITE and they’re so much PINING and TOUCHING and ahhhh!!!!

Also just, projecting as much of myself and various identities and stuff onto characters as possible :P

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you'd care to share?

S-so many... orz hmmMMM here’s a couple!

A modern day AU Hamburrger thing where they dated in college and now they’re both politicians and it comes out and Ham just kinda admits to it because what does he care and now Burr is just *screaming internally* at all times because he actually wanted to keep every tiny bit of his private life out of the public sphere, thanks?

Another Hamburrger thing where Ham is just trying to have a fun sexy time but Burr keeps unintentionally prodding at Ham’s really painful memories and stuff and it all just falls apart

One that I’ll almost certainly never write but: Lams AU assuming Ham dies in 1804 (which I don’t think he would but whatever) and Alex Jr is mourning but it’s difficult at home because he and Eliza never got along that well so he ends up staying over with Laurens instead and somehow they get to talking and finding ways to mourn together and Eliza as well and it’s all awkward and sad but they’re figuring it out eventually somehow

Various other Lams AU things, including: a kind of day in the life thing featuring domesticity and more Ham and Frances interaction, Laurens first moving into the city next to Ham and a LOT of domesticity and also porn?, Ned Stephens showing up and effectively doing the ‘if you hurt him I’ll kill you’ to Laurens, Alex and Eliza talking about the whole ‘Im cheating on you with a man’ thing where they are both irrevocably on different pages and will never agree but at least start to understand each other a little better

John and Francis meeting up during the war. Which sounds like a perfectly simple premise which I totally don’t need to research at all before I start writing it in my head!!!

Also I couldn’t write it myself because I don’t know nearly enough but I’d be really curious to see a Lams fic set in modern times, but like, where they’re both still in the military? Obviously such a fic would have to engage with the whole issue of the American military and all but like, we already have to engage with slavery as a thing, soooo it’s hardly foreign territory (no pun intended).

S: Any fandom tropes you can't resist?

Already covered part of that :P I love those dumb plots that basically revolve around ‘two characters are stuck together! How do they react?’ because there are just so many ways they can go depending on the characters and that’s really interesting!!

I also really love domestic fic including kid fic, historical AUs, interesting formats (like epistolary etc.), Outsider POV, and of course slow burn!

I quite like fandom tropes in general, to the extent that people really do, like... cross-reference the pairing and characters to the trope and write it specifically for them, and not just some Generic Pretend Couple Fic and change the names? I just really like seeing all the subtle differences between different interpretations of the same characters, when it’s done well!

T: Any fandom tropes you can't stand?

Hoo boy :) Well first up, I’m not into D/s, so any kind of A/b/o and slavefic and stuff I just walk right past. And as I implied above, when I get into a pairing, I really like to get into like... what makes that pairing special and unique and different? So I really dislike any stuff which cleaves towards making them more generic, like ‘jock!{character}/nerd!{character}’ type fic, which usually just ends up exactly the same as any other jock/nerd fic. (Also maybe it’s just cause I’m Aussie but we...didn’t ever actually have strict groupings like that in high school? So those fic in particular are just. Bizarre to me.)

Related, I tend not to like high school/college/coffee shop AUs because they’re usually like really overtly ‘hey this is what it is like for people here!! haha doesn’t it reflect your time in college really well? this is just what things are like for me!!’ and they are...usually not relatable to me. At all. Because my experiences are quite weird;;; So I just. don’t enjoy reading them because it makes me feel bad lol.

And uhhhh I really dislike fic where people go hard on the sarcasm and stuff? Like it mostly just ends up making them sound like assholes. I admit I’m particularly sensitive to this but I really, really hate people who mock and insult other people for just being themselves and doing what they want and 90% of snarky seems to be about that, especially when done by inexperienced writers. But even experienced writers do this sometimes when they get this idea that banter is good writing 100% of the time or that it’s too ‘’’simple’’’ just to write a character being like... nice? Or genuine? (Like holy shit I got soooo damn sick of snarky!Castiel like yeah great he is sarcastic OCCASIONALLY in canon, he’s not a grumpy asshole 24/7, where do people get this??? But it’s also something that comes up a lot in Hamilton musical fic and. yeah.)

Aaaand that’s probably enough lmao thanks for asking again!!! :D