#but yeah. day in the life of an animation major.

[absurdthirst]

Fucking Fungus {Joel Miller x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: SEX POLLEN, dub con, post apocalyptic world, scavenging, guilt, shame, desire, Joel having a bad attitude, mentions of periods, rough sex, neediness, unprotected sex, cream pie

Comments: Coming across Wymore, NE, you hoped to find some much needed supplies for the coming winter but you find that the fungus has mutated in dangerous and frightening ways. Needing to insure that there are more hosts to infect in a very basic kind of way.

🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉Happy Birthday @storiesofthefandomlovers!!!! I love you and hope you have the best damn day! In thotty tradition, here is a sex pollen to celebrate another year around the sun!🎊🎉🎊🎉🎊🎉

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|| MasterList || Joel Miller MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

The world has changed in the past twenty years. None of it for the betterment of humanity. The crunch of the dried leaves grinds under your boots and your head rotates left and then right as you watch, listen. Waiting for any sign of life or more importantly, danger. The weight of your rifle is heavy in your hands, although you hold it down, unassuming but ready to be lifted at a second’s notice. 

“I don’t know why you don’t just hook it over your shoulder.” Ellie snorts, her backpack bouncing slightly on her back from the steps that seem so unencumbered by worry. Why should she worry when there are two fully armed adults on either side of her. Her own personal guard in a manner of speaking. “There hasn’t been anything out here for daaaaaays.” She drags the word out like it's the most horrible thing in the world that it’s been peaceful. 

Joel snorts, rolling his eyes as you glance over at him and then look back out at the surrounding terrain. “Yeah, that’s why we are on guard.” He grunts, even though his own rifle is on his shoulder. His hand gripped the shoulder sling loosely but he had only just put it up there half an hour ago after you had taken your turn relaxing as much as you can. “it’s too fucking quiet.” 

He’s right. After the disasters that had been Kansas City, you had tried to avoid major cities, but even in the small towns, you had come across plenty of cordyceps and clickers. You hate the clickers with a passion.

The isolation can account for a lot of the silence. Miles stretching between remnants of civilization. The crumbling buildings and overgrown roads give the entire midwest a sense of peace. It’s unnerving. 

Your grip adjusts, head rolling around your shoulders slightly to try to loosen the knot that builds up in your shoulders after so long. The weight of your pack isn’t as heavy as it should be, the rations not exactly filling since you had to escape that one clicker in Du Bois, Nebraska. Your pack had been ripped and most of the food you had been carrying was lost. 

You glance over at Joel, noticing the way his shoulders seem to hang, almost a reflection of the way you feel. “We need to risk a larger town.” You murmur quietly, knowing that his first instinct will be to argue with you. You stumble slightly over a rock and hiss when you feel the hole in the sole of your boots. 

“Too dangerous.” Joel snorts, shaking his head even as he watches you regain your footing. “I’ve got some duct tape in my bag.” He reminds you, knowing that you should probably reinforce that shoe before you lose the sole all together. 

“It’s not just shoes.” You protest, trying to ignore the way that Ellie groans obnoxiously loud and stomps her foot. 

“Come on, man!” She throws her own arguments into the ring. “I need tampons! We could find them if there was jack shit out here, but there’s not. Do you want me to attract wild animals?” She presses, glaring at Joel who looks equal parts horrified and unconvinced. She cracks an evil grin. “Circling us in the wild as I just leave behind a trail of blood? Aaaaand tears.” She adds, lifting her brows. “Periods are really emotional things.” 

Biting your lip to keep from snorting, you watch as Joel; normally stoic, no bullshit Joel, can’t seem to string together the words to respond. His eyes slide over to you, almost pleading with you to say something. 

Your brows lift in question and he twitches slightly, his dark eyes unhappy with you not immediately jumping in to save him. “We could use the food if we can find any.” You rationalize, smirking when his brows pinch together and he looks like he had just been betrayed. 

“Clean underwear!” Ellie adds. “Or….cleaner. And a heavier fucking coat.” She shivers slightly and you can see that is the moment when Joel caves. He acts like a prick most of the time, but he’s got a soft spot for the kid. He won’t admit, maybe not even to himself, but he looks over at the faded and nearly rusted out sign. 

You continue walking, not pressing any more and you can hear the grumbling thoughts that are rolling through Joel’s mind. The now half hearted protests about why this is such a bad idea but you wait for the sigh. 

Almost even with the sign is when it comes, heavy and it sounds almost pained. Like he is going against everything he believes in. “Stop.” He huffs, shuffling to pull his bag off his back and kneeling down with a groan and the small pops of fifty plus year old knees. Unzipping the pocket where he keeps the Atlas and flips the worn pages to Nebraska. Glancing back at the road behind you and then at the sign before looking at the map. Tracing the route that you had already traveled before looking ahead at the towns that were on highway 77. 

Ellie doesn’t say a word but she practically bounces on her toes as she waits for his decision. You know that he’s going to agree, it’s just a matter of which town he chooses. He knows the truth of the situation. Winter is going to come quicker than any of you want, your food supply is low, you could probably all use a new set of boots, and all of you would kill for a halfway decent musty mattress to sleep on. Four walls and a hopefully non-leaking roof over your heads would be the icing on the cake. 

“Wymore is coming up in fifty-eight miles.” He taps the map and looks up at you to see what you think. 

Ellie shuffles slightly and instead of grinning, you crane your neck to look at the map yourself. “It looks like it’s bigger than the last few towns, but at least it’s not like we are running into Lincoln.” You hum before you nod. “I say we try.”

“Yessssss!” The teenager pumps her fist in excitement and she grins when Joel rolls his eyes. You’ve noticed that like any normal teenager, her favorite activity is annoying any kind of parental unit and pushing boundaries. This applies to Joel whether or not he likes it. “I want to find another joke book too.” 

Joel groans but you just turn around, grinning yourself as Joel mumbles under his breath, stuffing the map back in his pack and zipping it up. Joel and Ellie are alike in a lot of ways, especially their penchant for mumbling. 

You resist the urge to offer him a hand up, knowing he will be even more pissy if you do. For someone who complains about being older, he gets downright grouchy when he’s reminded of that same fact. “Well then, the quicker we get there, the quicker we don’t have to hear ‘are we there yet?’.” You snort, making Ellie grin shamelessly as she shrugs, knowing she will do exactly that. 

“So let’s get going.” She doesn’t wait for anyone, just setting off down the road and leaving the two of you to catch up with her. 

****

It takes you nearly three days to get to Wymore. All of you are tired, but Joel is the one who barely sleeps, even when you force him to lay down. It’s as if he cannot stop trying to protect Ellie, and also you, long enough for him to rest. He gets upset when he has to sleep, staying up until he is nodding off. The coffee supply has been exhausted and it’s probably a good thing. He would drink it all day to the point where his hands would shake from too much caffeine. Still he just wouldn’t trust you to make sure that no one snuck up on you for a few hours until he was past the point of being useless. 

The first signs of the town are a welcomed relief but it’s also an added source of tension. Each mile that you had traveled had added to the fear that this might be the time that you fail. That something goes wrong and someone else dies. The road here has not been easy and the losses have weighed heavily on all of you. Joel still won’t even mention Tess and you hate it when you wake up in the early morning hours to find him staring down at the broken face of his watch with a look that breaks your heart. 

Every approach into a new area can mean danger, either from the clickers or from humans and honestly you don’t know which one you fear more. Your gun is back in your hand, the weight of it familiar and comforting as you pass the first gas station, the windows busted out and dried fungus clinging to the building. 

“Fuck.” You hiss, uneasy at the presence of the fungal vines, even if they look like they aren’t active.

“I wonder why it looks pink.” Ellie frowns as she squints at the building. “It’s usually an ugly brown color, right?” She looks towards Joel for confirmation, but he’s busy frowning at the building himself. 

“Maybe this isn’t a good idea.” If the cordyceps have spread this far out of town then there’s a possibility there are still active branches closer to the supplies that you are looking for. 

“Come on man.” Ellie groans, kicking a dirt clod. “There’s nothing for miles. It’s probably all dead.” 

You know that Ellie is probably right, but it’s a risk. You bite your lip, looking over at Joel. “Why don’t we sweep the town and we can see?” You ask, knowing that if everything is dead, you could desperately use the rest. Cordyceps rarely return en masse when the vines have withered and died. It could be a safe place to recharge and for Joel to sleep for more than ten minutes at a time. 

You’ve stopped walking as you talk, Joel looking around as he contemplates your alternatives. To be honest, there aren’t many and both of you know it. Not without a lot of backtracking which none of you want to do. 

Joel sighs and you know that he’s going to agree. He turns to Ellie. “Don’t fucking touch anything until we say it’s alright.” He points at her for good measure, as if his finger would impress the importance of his words. “Got it?” 

“Got it.” She huffs. “Jesus, you act like we haven’t done this before.” You roll your eyes and look away, knowing you shouldn’t encourage her right now. 

It takes hours to make your way into the center of town. Not because you are blocked by clickers or avoiding humans, it’s because you are stocking up. It’s like the fungus took over this town and just let it rot. Nothing inside the first few blocks of town is disturbed. No looting has been done here, plenty of supplies to be had. 

Both you and Joel have been cautious but slowly optimistic as you’ve found boots and heavy jackets, gloves and hats. A new pair of clothes have been rolled into everyone’s bags and you’ve even grabbed another pack to fill with the mylar sealed packs of camping food from the sporting goods store. It was a miracle that nothing had been ransacked, but it makes you wonder exactly what the fuck happened here. Did the army sweep through and round up all the residents right away? It would make sense, but then why were there dead spores of the fungus here? You haven’t seen one body so far and it makes you nervous. 

“This place is a fucking gold mine.” Ellie grins like a kid in a candy store, perhaps because you’ve actually found candy and she has been sucking on the jolly ranchers until the top of her mouth is raw. “Now we just need to find a place to sleep. I want my own room.” 

Glancing over at Joel, you expect him to immediately tell her no, but he doesn’t say a word. Continuing to look around like he is expecting a clicker to pop out from the doorway of the local McDonald’s, now completely covered in that strange pink fungus. It’s like he doesn’t even hear her as he frowns at the building. 

She takes that as approval and immediately starts talking about how she’s going to spread out. Making you snort when she talks about sitting in her underwear for an hour. There hasn’t been a lot of privacy out here on the road, so you can understand that desire. 

“Joel.” You murmur his name softly, knowing that the best thing you can do is to find the motel and get settled down for the night before the sun sets. Even if this town is as safe as it appears on the surface, you would rather not be fumbling around in the dark . He doesn’t look over at you, still staring at the overgrown building as if it’s holding the secret. Maybe it reminds him of the Boston Museum, ominously covered with the tentacles of the fungus and the horrors that you had found inside it. “Joel!”

“What?” His head whips around, body tense as he’s ripped out of his thoughts. Relaxing when he finds you and Ellie staring at him. “We need to find the motel.” You remind him, nodding towards the sun getting lower in the sky. “I think we could all use a good night’s sleep.” 

He stares at you for a moment, his eyes searing your face, looking for some hidden meaning beneath your words before he glances over at an eager Ellie. “Yeah, sure.” He agrees, adjusting his rifle to sling it onto his shoulder and adjusts his now much heavier pack on his back. “Probably on the other side of the main drag.” 

His new boots thump against the cracked pavement. The roads leading deeper into the town is the guide towards what will hopefully be a comfortable bed and at least eight hours of sleep. 

Your own new boots feel pretty good, but maybe a day or so here, going through supplies and really making sure that you can take on the coming winter would be a good thing. Allowing you to break in the shoes without blisters. You’ll have to talk about it with Joel after Ellie sequesters herself for the night. 

It’s about another fifteen minutes before you get to the small motel that looks like it will be a good place to spend the night. Half the building is covered in another large cluster of the fungus, the pink hue looking particularly bright in the fading sun. 

“We’ll get some keys.” It will be better than breaking down doors, especially since the motel wasn’t equipped with the keycards that the high end hotels had started switching to before society came crashing down. 

The bad news is that the motel doesn’t have any adjoining rooms, so Joel and Ellie get into a small spat about her having her own room, Ellie eventually winning after promising that she will block the door with a dresser and he’s allowed to sweep the room before she locks herself in. Half the building is so overtaken by the vivid pink fungus that you swear looks like a big splat of bubblegum thrown over the walls. 

She doesn’t even want to have dinner with you and Joel, making the man go through the room and then telling you both goodnight and shutting the door in your face. Making you laugh as Joel frowns at the door, rethinking this entire situation. 

“Well, you can have a room to yourself too.” You offer, smirking as he cuts his eyes towards you. You know that Joel would rather everyone sleep where he can keep his eyes on them, so you getting privacy is off the table. 

“Shut up.” Joel grunts, walking down towards the next room and kicking it open, watchful even though you’ve both already been in the room and deposited your bags. It’s a nice room, two double beds so each one of you can stretch out and relax. 

You laugh quietly and decide to walk down the railing towards the portion of the building that has been overtaken by the fungus. Your curiosity about this variant is finally getting the best of you and you want to get a better look at it. 

It’s thick. The tendril that is draped over the metal railing of the second floor, wrapping around it and up the support column. You bite your lip, tilting your head when you see the withered remnants of some kind of flower. What kind of fungus sprouts flowers?

You jump when something touches your back, whirling around to find Joel behind you, holding his hands up. He smirks at you, his eyes crinkling in amusement. “Fuck you.” You hiss, narrowing your eyes and he huffs. “What are you doing?” He asks. 

Turning back towards the fungus, you sigh. “This is different from any other kind I’ve ever seen.” You comment, stepping closer to it only to feel Joel reach for your arm to pull you back. “It’s dried out.” You remind him, jerking your head towards the husk of the cordyceps. “Have you ever seen anything like this?” You know that he spent a lot of time sneaking out of the Boston QZ, it’s possible he had seen it before. 

He grunts, relaxing his hold on you and he shuffles slightly closer, looking at the flower buds that extend from the tendrils. His own suspicions about anything fungus related is deep, but it’s dried. “I haven’t.” He admits after a moment, narrowing his eyes slightly and trying to think if there is any reason why this pink coloring has the hair on the back of his neck standing on end. 

“So it’s something new.” You bite your lip and lean in, feeling the disapproval radiate off of Joel in hot waves but you ignore him. Tilting your head and reaching out to touch one of the dried flowers. 

“Don’t-”

The second your finger touches the wilted bloom, it bursts open, spurting you and Joel behind you in a cloud of pink dust. You gasp, holding your breath but there’s no hope for not inhaling the pollen. 

“Fuck!” Joel coughs, shaking his head and backing up so quickly he hits the side of the building and reaches out to drag you away from the lingering cloud of dust and starts to practically beat it off the two of you. “We need- we need-” He leans over and starts coughing, obviously having inhaled just as much of it as you had. 

“We’re okay.” You gasp, shaking your head and brushing the dust off your clothes. “We- it’s dead. Right?” You hate that you are asking that, but you hadn’t expected that from a dried out fungus.

“It- we should clean up.” Joel blinks, the pollen making his eyes itch and that has to be the cause of the rush of heat that slides over him. It’s just adrenaline. Fear. Anything that would scare both of you would make the slight nip in the air disappear and make you feel like your skin is superheated.

The water is gravity fed. The large cisterns on the roof are still full and while it’s not warm, perhaps a cold shower might be better right now. Joel drags you both to the room and locks the door, although he doesn’t push a dresser in front of it in case Ellie needs you in the night. 

In the bathroom, you are shaking as you start to strip down, worrying about how stupid you just were and if you completely fucked yourself. The anxious fear covering the way your skin seems to burn and feel so sensitive to everything. Shuddering when your hand brushes over your thigh as you push your jeans down and kick them off before you pull your shirt over your head and remove your bra. 

Clean up. Get the pollen off your skin and cool down. Your body seems to be working on overdrive. Your nipple hard under the cold water and instead of gasping in shock, you moan softly. Enjoying the sensation and reaching for the bar of soap that is still wrapped in plastic. 

Hurry up, hurry up. Joel paces around the room, his hands curled into fists. Practically sweating even though the air is cool as the sun sets. His body feels like it’s on fire, like he is battling a sickness. 

Over and over again, he goes through the symptoms of the infection of the cordyceps, there’s no veining, he’s stopped and checked his eyes and reflection in the peeling mirror about twenty times in the five minutes you’ve been in the bathroom. And he doesn’t fucking think the fungus makes his cock harder than a fucking rock in his jeans. 

He’s not thought about sex in months. Nothing beyond fleeting moments of attraction to you that he swiftly buries under guilt and responsibility. Normally, it is when you’re bent over and your ass is presented to him in such a way that he thinks about sinking into you from behind, or when your shirt pulls tight over your breasts and he imagines cupping them in his hands as you sit on his cock. Immediately dismissed and ignored as he reminds himself of how he had failed Tess, he doesn’t deserve to find warmth and comfort in your arms. 

Now, it’s all he can think about. The urge to palm his cock makes his fingers twitch and he almost moves his hand over his crotch before he flinches back to reality and tries to examine his face in the mirror again, wondering if his eyes are bloodshot from lack of sleep or if he is infected. 

Scrubbing your body is nearly painful, wanting to stop and touch yourself, but you can’t. You need to get this done and get out so Joel can shower. Still, despite the cold water, you feel like you are on fire when you shut off the water and realize that you didn’t bring your bag into the bathroom. You will have to go out there in nothing because you can’t put those clothes back on. Not until they have been washed. 

Moderately dry, you hear Joel bang on the door. “Hurry up.” He growls, making you clench your thighs together at the raspy tone and hating how it spears through you. You know Joel isn’t interested in you, hasn’t ever looked at you like that and the crush that you had on the man had been buried deep. 

“I’m done.” You don’t have a chance to be embarrassed as you open the door and Joel practically shoves past you into the bathroom and slams it behind him. “Fuck.” Your annoyance cools the heat for a moment, but it’s only temporary. 

The water is icy, but still, Joel curls his hands into fists against the shower wall. He’s fucking hard. Harder than he had probably ever been in his entire life, even when he was a horny teenager and would have fucked anyone who let him between their thighs. He’s not felt like this ever. The need to touch himself builds to the point where his hips are rocking into thin air against the spray of the water. Want clawing up his throat and pooling in his stomach in a heavy knot. 

You don’t dress, you can’t. Crawling under the covers of one of the beds, you listen to Joel groan in the bathroom, it’s muted over the sound of the shower but it’s sexy. All of his sounds are sexy, from the low grunts he gives when he’s stiff and sore, to the huffs and groans of annoyance. It’s all sexy to you. The rasp of his voice when he’s not spoken for a few hours. 

Closing your eyes, it’s easy to give in, to let your hands drift over your skin. He’s not here, you can take care of this frantic need that is swirling inside you. You just need to slide your hand between your thighs and ease it. It wouldn’t take much more than a few swipes of your fingers against your pulsing and aching clit. 

Trying to fight it, you concentrate on your breathing, in and out. Inhaling slowly and holding it so you can exhale when the burn in your lungs tells you that you’ve reached your limit. It helps, but not much. Not when you’re imagining Joel in his shower. Touching him. Being free to touch him and having his hands on your body in return. 

Your hands slip over your breasts, squeezing them hard enough to moan softly and your legs shift to press together. Clenching around nothing and wishing that you were full while your hands start to move down over your stomach. 

The first touch is almost a relief, your entire core quivering as your fingers press against your clit. It’s overwhelming and not enough. You need more, fingertips pressing and rubbing around the puffed up bundle of nerves. You’re already soaked and can feel it dripping down your slit. 

Spurred on by that insatiable need, you slide your fingers around your entrance and start to press them inside. Biting your lip to keep yourself from moaning. Imagining that it’s more, that it’s a cock that is starting to break you open and fill that void that is aching. 

You are so caught up in the bliss of that first stretch of your fingers that you don’t hear the shower turn off. The quiet curses coming from the bathroom are muffled by the rush of blood in your ears, the feeling of relief coursing through your nerves and taking over. You don’t hear the click of the lock and the turn of the handle. The door opening doesn't even register as you plant your heels on the bed and push your hips up, needing to get your fingers deeper, not quite reaching the spot inside you that craves fullness. 

You don’t hear him until he chokes out a sound that is pained and low, like he’s injured. Your eyes pop open as you lurch up off the bed, your fingers ripping themselves out of your cunt hard enough to make you whimper. Fixed on Joel’s towel draped body, tented over his waist. 

“Joel, I-” “Fuuuuuck.” He growls, his eyes closing and his hands bunches into fists, one holding his towel and the other by his side. “I’ve tried to not think about you, about touching you.” His words are rasped out, strained against his vocal cords. “I’ve goddamn beat into my brain that you aren’t to be thought about this way and now, I can’t stop.” His stomach clenches and his body twitches as he struggles to keep still. 

Your chest heaves and you see his eyes drop down to your uncovered tits. His jaw clenching and his Adam’s Apple bobbing as he swallows. “I - I need to touch myself.” You admit breathlessly. “I - it hurts so bad and I need something inside me.” 

Joel groans again, shuddering so violently that you can see him shake from where you are. “I’ve jerked off in the shower twice and it's still hard.” He drops the towel, revealing his hard and leaking cock, making you whimper at the sight and clench around nothing. “I think that- that we- that the flower-” “I don’t care.” You moan, shaking your head and crawling to your knees and shuffling forward. Showing him all of you and so goddamn desperate to touch him that you think you are about to explode. “Touch me, Joel. Fuck, touch me, please.” You beg, your hands on your own body. “We-” He shakes his head and his face changes, morphs into pain.

“Fuck me.” You hiss, watching as his resolve breaks. His cock bounces as he lunges for you, hard and swift, driving you back to the bed with a bounce. Almost as if he is attacking you. 

He’s not gentle. His mouth finding yours in a harsh kiss, your permission unleashing the coils of restraint that he had tried to put on himself. His grip bruises as he hauls you up the bed and settles between your thighs. 

You’ve always attributed Joel with rough gentleness. The type of man who would make you ache and then hold you close. Groaning in pleasure when you find out that is exactly what Joel Miller is like. His hands spreading your thighs with a desperation that proves he is just as afflicted by this fungal pollen as you are. His cock hard and pressing against your folds as he rocks his hips forward to line up. Almost unable to find the hole with his eagerness to sink into you. 

“Joel, hurry.” Your hands shake, holding onto him and urging him closer to you, frantic with need now that you know that you are going to have him inside you. 

“Goddamn, I’m trying.” He hisses, hating to let you go so he can take his cock in hand. Rocking into his own grip as he shuttles his hips forward. “I’m fuckin’ trying, sweetheart.” 

You whimper when you finally feel him pressing against your entrance, choking out a sound of need that is animalistic. Only to cry out in bliss as he pushes inside you without another delay. 

He groans, eyes cinched shut as he slides inside you to the hilt, burying himself in your heat and feeling that coil in his stomach tighten even more now that your walls are around him. Immediately starting to move just as soon as he fills you, driving by that need and burning in his very veins. 

It’s exquisite, the pain and pleasure blending and fusing in your stomach, nerves alight and responding to every small movement. You can’t get enough of him, you need more. Wrapping  your legs around his hips, you rise to meet his harsh thrusts. Clenching down around him every time he hits that spot deep inside you that you couldn’t reach with your fingers. 

He shouldn’t be inside you, he shouldn’t be touching you, but now that he is, he can’t stop. Turning his head, he presses his lips to yours and slides his tongue into your mouth. Needing more. Kissing you like he had imagined a thousand times before. Giving into every urge he has had since the day he met you and repressed before right now. Snapping his hips forward sharply and pulling every groan out of your mouth to swallow down. 

Every thrust makes it better, eases that burning in your core, your cunt slick and squelching every time he drives into you. He absorbs every sound you make, almost greedy for them. His hips jarring as they slam into you. Rocking you both up the bed. 

“Oh god,” breaking away from the kiss, you moan into his ear. Closing your eyes as he pants and puffs while he fucks you. “So deep, so deep, Joel.” Your nails drag down his back, making him hiss in pleasure and pain. 

“Shit.” He groans your name, lost in the rhythm of his thrusts and the building pressure. “You needed this?” He growls, making you clench down around him hard and whimper his name. “Yessss.” You agree, nodding against the pillow. “Needed it so bad.” 

“Fuck, you’re so fucking tight.” He huffs, burying his face against your neck. Continuing to pound into you, and not letting up even though his back is screaming in pain. His body won’t let him do anything but rock his hips. Driven by a need that overrides everything else. 

His words make you burn, making you even more desperate for him. Your hips rock up and legs tightening around his waist even more. Loving how his cock stretches you out and scrubs against every nerve in your cunt. Lighting up your body until you are gasping on the edge of that much needed orgasm. 

Every plunge into your body brings him closer to cumming, desperate to feel that emptiness, that wrung out filling once he has filled you. He shouldn’t cum inside you, he knows that, but he’s not going to be able to stop himself. He can barely pull back enough to rock his hips back into you. 

His arms have banded around you, holding you into place as he fucks you. Deep and primal, as if he is trying to fuse the two of you into one. His cock punches into the depths of your body that you never imagined anyone reaching, but he touches it with ease. Your body pulsing with that need to come apart. 

“So close, I’m so close, baby.” You whine, body starting to tremble underneath him. “So close.” Your nails dig into his shoulder, grounding yourself to him in desperation. “Joel.” 

“I gotcha.” He groans, eyes closed and his breath fanning against your skin. “I’mma take good care of you, sweetheart.” He promises. “You’re gonna cum all over my cock, ain’t cha? Just like you wanted.” 

His words throw you over the edge, that need built up so tight inside you that it busts on the next thrust. Lights careen and collide behind your eyes, bright and beautiful as your whole body ignites into pleasure like you’ve never experienced before. Crying out loudly and soaking  him in a wave of your juices. Cumming harder than you ever have before. 

Joel growls your name, his hips stuttering as you come apart around you. Unable to hold back any longer. He buries himself deep into your hot passage and paints your walls with sticks ropes of his seed. Panting against your lips as he empties himself body and perhaps his very soul into you. 

Both of you pant, relieved and exhausted from the pure exertion of need as you had taken from each other. Joel presses into you, trying to catch his breath, but the fire is still burning low in his belly, his cock still not softening as it twitches inside you. 

“Oh fuck.” You feel that same desire still curling in your stomach, not satisfied by the intensity of the orgasm that you are still coming down from. “Joel-” 

He huffs and shakes his head. “Don’t-” he presses his lips to your again, body screaming as he starts to move again. “Shhhhhh.” 

The need still burns and both of you are still locked in its fiery grip, not yet free from the desire that washed over you from a burst of pollen. 

****

“What the fuck man, open the door!” The thudding on the door finally penetrates the bone deep sleep you had finally fallen into. You don’t know how many time Joel fucked you, or how many times he had spend himself inside you as you blearily open your eyes. 

Joel grunts, slowly opening his own eyes and unwinding himself from the tangled together position that you had passed out in. The knocking on the door keeps on. “Joel!” Your name is also shouted, Ellie starting to sound somewhat panicked when neither one of you is immediately opening the door. 

“Fuck! I’m coming.” He drags the top blanket off the bed and wraps it around his waist before flinging the door opened to blink into the harshness of the sun. “What?” He growls roughly, making Ellie’s eyes blow wide with shock.

“Holy shit, what happened to you?” She demands, pushing into the room and stopping short when she sees you sitting up in the only bed that has been disturbed, the sheet anchored beneath your armpits. “Oh shit, you fucked.” She gasps, turning and shooting Joel an impressed grin. “Way to go, old man, you made a move.” Her grin quickly turns into an expression of mild disgust when she realizes that she’s congratulating you two on having sex. “Uh, I’m gonna go now.” She huffs, wrinkling her nose and pinching it. “It smells in here.” Waving her hand in front of her face, she darts back out the door and Joel just stands there for a moment before he rolls his eyes and goes to shut the door before he thinks better of it. Sticking his head out of the room, he shouts after Ellie. “Stay away from the fucking fungus!” 

You snort, grinning to yourself as your body starts to ache. Fucking fungus indeed. 

[evie-sturns]

𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐂𝐡𝐫𝐢𝐬 𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

summary: you and chris have a major argument, which results in you storming out of you and chris's house. he regrets everything, but it results in him saying 'i love you' for the first time.

warnings: angst, swearing, argument, crying, fluff, happy ending!

-----------------*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*--------------------

me and chris have been dating for two months, we've never fought, i mean we've bickered, but never a real argument. we've done alot together, we have a house together, 2 cats, we've hooked up tens of times, but never said those 3 words.

'i love you'.

i think both of us are just terrified of scaring the other person away.

-

"chris! i'm home!" i say, walking through the front door as i put my purse down.

no response.

chris is sitting on the couch, my phone on his lap.

"why do you have my phone baby?" I say, jumping down next to him.

"i think we both know." his voice is filled with emotion, he clenched the pepsi can in his right hand tighter.

i reach out a hand, placing it gently on his thigh, he grabs my wrist and throws my hand towards me, my shoulder is tweaked slightly.

"don't fucking touch me!" he says, looking at me in disgust, raising his voice as he stands up.

my eyebrows furrow from pure confusion as i follow him, standing up and facing him.

"tell me whats happening christopher." i say sternly, my shoulder pulses from the sudden jolt.

chris knows when i use his full name i mean it, i don't just throw it around because of how formal it is.

chris glares down at me before slamming the pepsi can to the floor.

"all these fucking months, all these hookups, all these deep talks, everything meant nothing to you?!" he yells, my heart sinks, ive never liked people yelling at me.

i've always had an attitude, chris knows how to deal with it.

"look, if you dont open your fucking mouth instead of flaming me for something i don't even know, i'm out of here yeah?" i snap back, folding my arms.

"you're so pathetic." he mutters, pushing my shoulder back.

"stop touching me chris!" i scream. squeezing my eyes shut and clenching my fists like a toddler.

he scoffs.

a silence grows before i flop down on the couch, clutching my shoulder. i pat the spot next to me, signalling for him to sit down, hoping we can talk it out.

he takes a step back before yelling, "go call mark, cause he clearly loves you so much!" his voice cracking.

my eyes widen.

"so fuck you!" he yells, i stand up.

his cheeks are flushed his eyes are glossy, chris's bottom lip is quivering.

my gaze softens, but instantly flicks back to a harsh one as chris starts again.

"im done with you're shit y/n, go home! for once in your life just leave. me. alone." he says, his tone cold.

i've never cried in front of chris, i don't cry often and if i do, im always alone. but the way he was looking at me broke something in me.

several tears fall down my cheek as i look up at chris. the tears increase as i just stare at him, his mouth gapes slightly. his eyebrows tilt up above his nose.

i push past him, grabbing my purse and running out the door, chris is speed-walking after me, before i slam the door shut, i yell out.

"by the way chris. mark is my fucking dad." my voice shakes as the tears don't slow.

an audible gasp escapes from chris's lips right before the door shuts.

-

two days ago i stormed through the door to my best friends house, sobbing as she comforted me.

i haven’t texted chris in those two days, but he’s been spamming my phone nonstop.

I sigh, sitting my head up off my best friend, amelia’s chest. “you okay?” she asks, pausing the movie which is playing on her macbook.

“did you not hear?” i ask, adjusting my sweater

“hear what..?” she asks, her eyebrowints furrowing in confusion

“you’re doorbell just rang, i’ll go get it okay?” i say, giving amelia a warm smile as i run downstairs.

i open the door, my heart sinks.

“chris?” i say, taking a nervous step back

his hand is clutched onto a stuffed animal, and a hand picked flower, which is dropping to the side slightly now. chris’s eyes are swollen, his nose red.

“i- uh.. um.” he stammers looking around

i stay silent, waiting for him to start,

he holds a hand out “can we go sit in my car i uh..” he says, his voice cracking

chris has always said his car is his comfort place, the area he feels safest, so i don’t shut him down yet.

i take his hand “amelia! i’ll be back in a few minutes” i yell as i close the front door behind me.

the walk down the driveway is silent, i can feel chris’s hand growing more sweaty by the second. he opens the door for me, the passenger seat has a blanket on it, with a packet of painkillers resting in the middle.

“what’s the pills for?” i ask, looking over my shoulder at chris.

“your shoulder..” he says, a guilty expression plastered across his face.

i nod understandably, sitting down in the car seat.

chris walks over to the driver side, climbing inside.

he lets out an audible swallow before opening his mouth to speak, nothing comes out.

“shit.. sorry ‘m really nervous..” chris says, holding onto a pepsi can.

“i’m so sorry, for even assuming the worst. i feel like an absolute goof for thinking your dad was another person..” he pauses for a second, quickly rubbing his under eyes

“and i was just hurt, i don’t even know why i thought mark was someone else, i should’ve never touched you i feel like shit about that too, and i’ve never seen you cry, so seeing what i had done to effect you just shattered my heart, i just don’t want to loose you and i.. i” he takes in a deep breath

“i love you.”

the rest of his words don’t get through to me, my heart is fluttering, i look over at him, chris’s cheeks are flushed red as his mouth moves quicker than his brain, i lean over the centre console, shutting him up with a kiss.

after a few seconds i pull away, “i love you too christopher.”

-

i run back inside, thanking amelia and telling her everything chris said, amelia is practically crying tears of joy as she hugs me, “go go! go back to his house i love you y/n!” she says, a smile spread ear to ear on her face.

i run back outside to chris, climbing inside his car.

the rest of the conversations go like this.

“are you sure your shoulders okay?”

“chris you barely touched me.”

“no but i made you cry y/n.”

“yeah, not because of the shoulder sweetheart.”

“well i told matt and nick what happened and then ordered a private doctor to come assess you..”

“chris.”

——————————————————————————

ayeee hope y’all like!!

[dollyyun]

𝐝𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐥'𝐬 𝐤𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬' 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐲 | 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝟕.𝟏

SYNOPSIS: Embarking on a new journey was definitely the best decision you have ever made. Ever since your new life started out on the very place you have ever dreamed of visiting, which has now become your reality, everything works in your favour. But you can't deny the fact that deep down inside, you miss the ones who were a major part of your life. Just like that, the universe seems to favour you as you now find yourself in a predicament involving being chased by the very past you thought you had left for good.

PAIRING: non!idols enha hyung line x fem!reader

GENRE: 18+ (mdni), adulthood, reverse harem, dark themes.

WORD COUNT: 26.9k

WARNINGS: profanities, explicit themes, heavy angst, mention of violence, alcohol consumption, manipulation, corruption, toxicity, smuts.

PLAYLIST: Delicate - Taylor Swift, I Don't Wanna Live Forever - Taylor Swift & Zayn Malik, Reminder - The Weeknd, Party Monster - The Weeknd, Bloodline - Ariana Grande, Touch It - Ariana Grande, run for the hills - Tate McRae, Animals - Maroon 5, Lights Down Low - Maejor (feat. Waka Flocka Flame), Rude Boy - Rihanna, Softcore - The Neighbourhood.

PREV (PART 6.3) | NEXT (PART 7.2) ✘ SERIES MASTERLIST ✘

-smut warnings under cut-

smut warnings: unprotected sex (no!), dom!enha, mild switch!jake, mild switch!reader, name calling, degradation, knife play, manhandling, bondage, blowjobs, throat-fucking, fingering, nipple play, pussy slapping & eating, anal, double penetrations, edging, crying, squirting, creampies, breeding kink, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, threesomes-fivesomes.

After hectic weeks of appeasing clients’ finicky demands and exceeding their expectations, which ensued in you receiving a scant sleep, you are more than deserving to pamper yourself for your competence and industrious work once more. By pampering, it means heading over to the upscale bar downtown to meet up with your best friend whom you haven’t seen in weeks due to respective work and interests.

Besides, what better way to spend your Friday night than to drink to your heart’s content and get wasted with your best friend? Well, maybe not too wasted, considering that your alcohol tolerance has significantly improved over the course of your engagement in spiritious refreshments.

Oh, the lovely irony of how the old you would never have indulged in such indecorous engagement and would totally reprimand the new version of you. Yeah, the old you, as in the saint you once were. Now that you think about it, a lot has changed, including you. 

You hold back a chuckle, your lips pressing together to form a smile that exhibits your amiability towards the refined patrons passing by you, who in return reciprocate the same courtesy to you as you step aside for them to exit the establishment. One of the many things you appreciate here is that the locals are friendly, including your fellow residents in your apartment building. There is never a day where not a smiling face greets you wherever you go.

As soon as you infiltrate further into the establishment that is furnished with lavish decors and embellishments, your keen eyes glide across the throng of patrons luxuriating and mingling with each other before they land on a certain brunette glammed up in voguish-worthy apparel, who is seated by the end of the extensive booth.

With a smile on your tinted lips, you proceed to make your way towards her, your hurried steps displaying your enthusiasm in finally meeting your best friend, who also turns out to be a saviour, or maybe even a guardian angel. Without her, you know that you wouldn’t have survived on your first arrival here a year ago.

Yes, it has been a year since you decided to wipe the slate clean and embarked on your new life in Milan, Italy — the city you’ve always dreamed of travelling to, which has now become your reality, or perhaps even better now that you have decided to live here.

“Y/N!” Yunjin, or rather Jennifer, heartily greets you with a dazzling toothy-smile as soon as she turns around. Initially, it felt weird to call her by her English name since you were more than accustomed to her Korean name throughout the years you have known her, but you decided to comply with her insistence.

“Jen!” You reciprocate the heartfelt greeting, your face beaming with a smile as she latches her arms around you to give you a bear-crushing hug before you exchange cheek kisses with her.

As she examines you, her eyes gleam with approval that aligns with the smile on her lips. “Girl, I swear you look prettier than the last time I saw you. I absolutely adore your dress!”

Warmth tingles in your chest, taking pride in your newfound fashion taste. It really isn’t anything special as you are dolled up in a simple off-shoulder ruffled-waisted black dress that reaches way above your knee length, but to hear a compliment from the very person who has been a tremendous help throughout the beginning of your journey feels rewarding, especially after you took many of her advices to heart.

“Thank you.” Your sincerity shines through your tone and crescent-shaped eyes. “You don’t look bad yourself. Dazzling as ever on this fine evening. Makes me wonder why you didn’t opt to work as a fashion designer instead.” You merely jest, casting her a smirk as you slide over next to her high seat.

Jennifer rolls her eyes. “I love dressing up, not designing. There’s a difference.” She states, to which you brush off since you know your best friend that much, while you flag down the bartender and give her your drink order.

As Jennifer begins the flow of your conversation, your eyes soften as you look at the animated glow in her demeanour. It seems that you’re not the only one who has changed much. The Yunjin you once knew back in Seoul is still there, but there is something different about the Yunjin in front of you. She has this specific glow and in the way she carries herself now that you can’t put into words to describe. It is almost as if back in Seoul, she didn’t have the chance to release her fullest potential, or perhaps the real her.

Of course, she didn’t, especially when you knew that she wasn’t exactly happy back in Seoul as she had to live with her mother and stepfather against her will. As it turned out, her parents got divorced during the period when you lost contact with her in your adolescence years, and initially, she didn’t want to leave Milan, where her father had been a permanent citizen here, but her mother won custody over her. Hence, you two meet again at the start of university.

Now that her mother has long since focused on her stepsiblings, Jennifer used this opportunity to return to her father in Milan. As for her father, you recall the first time you met him just a few days after your arrival here, and you admit how greatly intimidated you were by his imposing figure beneath the thousand-dollar polished suit as well as his steely demeanour when he scanned you from head-to-toe.

But soon enough, after Jennifer formally introduced you to her father, he finally recognised you as his daughter’s childhood best friend, and so his steely demeanour melted, replaced by something so fatherly that he cordially welcomed you with a big smile and a hug.

Aside from her mother’s wealth, it makes sense why your best friend has an abundance of wealth, as her father is an esteemed CEO who oversees all business operations across multiple diversions in the fashion industry in Milan, including organising the semi-annual popular Milan fashion week. Thanks to the powers and connections he wields, he manages to secure a career for his beloved daughter, ensuing her position as an international marketing specialist, to which is her ability to perform remarkably ever since, thanks to her degree in international business.

Whenever you see the sweet, endearing interaction between the father and daughter, a fleeting yet profound sadness hits you, accompanied by envy, as they remind you so much of the dynamic between you and your father. It does make you want to return to Seoul on impulse, but you know you can’t when your resolve to be here is permanent.

Plus, you have a career now, and you owe it all to Jennifer and her father, who helped you from the start after you mapped out your options of which career path you truly desire most. Honestly, there was none, but you obviously couldn’t live here without any income, and you felt awful for having to spend Jennifer and her father’s wealth despite their insistence, as they had pure intentions to help you get on your feet and stabilise yourself.

After much deliberation, you decided to pursue a career that is obviously equivalent in value with your degree in journalism. Hence, you are a freelance writer who is completely diverse and wields prowess in the field that you are specialised in. It was a rocky start, but eventually you gained momentum.

You have grown to love your job because not only do you have flexibility in choosing projects, setting your own schedules, and working from various locations, but this job also allows you to meet new people, aka your clients. Since your line of work involves socialising, you don’t really feel as timid as you were before, and instead, meeting different people elevates your self-confidence. Even more when your clients always seem to leave with satisfactory written all over them as well as in their feedback due to your top-notch professionalism.

You didn’t earn much in the beginning, but now, with your experiences and continuous improvement in your expertise, you earn more than you expected, for which you are thankful as your income keeps you going here, especially when you have every intention to repay Jennifer and her father, although they will always refuse whatever you wish to repay them.

Genuinely, from the bottom of your heart, you will always feel eternally grateful to Jennifer and her father. Without them, you would’ve lived out in the streets instead of the sumptuous three-room apartment, which the father-daughter duo decisively chose for you despite your objection to their generosity once more.

From the moment you first stepped into the vacant apartment and spotted the balcony situated adjacently at the living room, you immediately fell in love with the picturesque metropolitan that looked even more vibrant at night, as it was exactly what you had envisioned of your dream apartment with a stunning view to wake up to. Plus, where you live is a thirty-minute drive away from the renowned Galleria Vittorio Emanuele II.

Although your new residency falls under the deluxe category, you tried your utmost by furnishing and decorating your apartment more homely, albeit there is a discernible emptiness you can’t seem to disregard amidst everything that you have put effort into your new residency, especially when there is an annoying throb in your heart.

Nevertheless, you feel content because you have everything you need now — a job, a place you call your sanctuary, a father figure who cares and loves you like you’re his own daughter, best friends who have been incredibly supportive of you even if two of them are across the globe. Plus, you are independent now, including the fact that your mental health has long since significantly improved thanks to Jennifer’s suggestion to seek therapy from professionals.

No longer are you tormented by the dark, unpleasant memories from your old life in Seoul that used to haunt you every day and night in the rocky start of your new adventure here. No longer are you allowing anyone to trample over you and question your own worth.

Everything in your life right now is simply bliss, never mind the fact that you haven’t had sex ever since them, although there are times where you need to indulge and gratify your unabating libido, to which you brazenly bought a rather special rose vibrator. Sure, you did go to nightclubs, be it alone or with your best friend, and make out with hot strangers, but you didn’t go as far. You knew that no one could ever satisfy you the way you wanted, or maybe a part of you so deep didn’t want to betray them.

Your eyes harden as you place down the glass a little harder on the counter booth, drawing your best friend’s attention. “Hey, are you okay?” Jennifer asks softly, her eyes examining your countenance, which you swiftly mask with a deceptive facade as you cast her a smile.

“Of course. I was just thinking about this one prissy client of mine.” You lie through your teeth, forcing out a chuckle, and thankfully, she seems to buy it before proceeding to continue where she left off.

Ugh, why are you even thinking about them? You are very content with everything you have now, and you have been doing perfectly fine without them for about a year now. 

Before you can get too carried away to delve into it, your attention is drawn to Jennifer, whose eyes light up as she looks over your shoulder with a smile on her countenance, prompting you to look as well, only to be met by two familiar males looming over your figures, each decked out in distinct yet voguish-worthy apparel just the same.

“What a lovely evening coincidence. Are you ladies sure you didn’t stalk us?” One of them teases; his pink plump lips stretch into a charming smile while his eyes dart between you and Jennifer.

Jennifer scoffs with the corner of her lips curving. “It should be the opposite, don’t you think, Wooseok? Seriously, out of all the places.” She shakes her head before flickering her gaze at her cousin. “What are you doing here, Eunwoo? I thought you were flying to Venice.”

The aforementioned raven-haired male adorns a smile on his face, shifting his gaze from your face to Jennifer. “It turns out that I won’t be needing to fly to Venice any time soon.”

“So, mind if we sit with you?” Wooseok inquires, ignoring Jennifer’s disbelieving yet playful glare as he settles next to her while Eunwoo invites himself next to your booth.

Right, you have forgotten to add these two handsome guys that have now become acquaintances in your new life here. Byeon Wooseok and Cha Eunwoo.

Just like any other person, you were quite taken aback by their striking visual when Jennifer introduced you to them. Of course, you felt a tad timorous of being in the presence of two charming men with distinct allures, but as time passed by, you have grown comfortable with them and their wits. Apparently, Eunwoo is Jennifer’s cousin from her father’s side, whereas Wooseok is Eunwoo’s best friend since birth. According to Eunwoo, he and Wooseok come as a package.

You recall when Jennifer attempted to match you with her cousin, resulting in you going for a date with Eunwoo, only because Jennifer was adamant and both you and Eunwoo wanted to get it over with to see if you two were compatible.

It turned out that you were better off friends with him despite the fact that there are times where you do playfully flirt with him and Wooseok, but that’s how the dynamic has always been with them in your friendship circle. Plus, they care for you and see you as their female friend only.

Sure, both Eunwoo and Wooseok are charming gentlemen who also oversee their family business, and they are more than capable of providing for you, but your heart doesn’t beat for any of them the way it did before with certain individuals, not even a fluttery sensation.

Your heart is adamant, and as much as you hate to admit it, no one can come close to and ever be compared to the four individuals who are now in the past that you have long since put behind you, but why are you even thinking about them now after all your efforts to forget them?

You are very content with the present, so why the fuck is there a palpable longing in your once-shattered heart that you had mended yourself? After so long, why now?

Gripping the glass of cocktail, you proceed to down the liquor rather gluttonously, drawing their attention to you by your abrupt vigour as they watch you with quizzical eyes.

“Slow down. You’ll choke yourself. You can always order for more.” Eunwoo’s gentle reprimand does nothing to dispel the ache you can feel in your chest.

Perhaps rather than effacing everything about them, you repressed every feeling, thought, scent, and face of theirs so deep in the trenches that you have grown accustomed to the point where you are in denial.

“Oh, definitely. Bartender!” You flag down for the bartender again to give her the previous order and double them, earning bewildered stares from your friends.

“Someone is eager to get drunk tonight.” Wooseok comments, oblivious to the fact that you are actually drowning out your sorrows as he watches you take a swig in awe.

“Y/N, I think that’s enough.” Eunwoo attempts to snatch away one of the glasses, but you snappily swat his hand away as you shoot him a scowl. He heaves a sigh before catching Jennifer’s gaze and spotting a flicker of understanding in her eyes as she examines you.

Jennifer has an inkling that something must’ve bothered you, and she doesn’t comment on it, knowing that she’ll only worsen things. She catches Eunwoo’s questioning gaze and shakes her head, conveying her disapproval to leave you be.

“Relax. I have high alcohol tolerance, remember?” You tell him, merely casting him a lazy grin that doesn’t reach your eyes before bringing the glass to your lips again.

It isn’t long when Jennifer receives a call that requires her to head back to her office since she left some important documents that she intended to bring back home while Wooseok offers her a ride, to which she gratefully accepts before bidding you a goodbye, now leaving you alone with Eunwoo.

Heck, you even seem to forget that the older male is still seated next to you as you are preoccupied with your disoriented mind while downing glass after glass of Milano Torino uninhibitedly, hoping that the alcohol will dispel the yearning ache in your chest, until he decides to break the ice after observing you.

“You’re obviously not fine.” Eunwoo points out, his eyes meeting yours and noticing how they seem to glisten with inexplicable emotions under this resplendent lighting. “Talk to me. What is bothering you?”

“I’m fine. You don’t have to play therapy with me.” You scoff out, looking away from his intent gaze to finish up your fifth glass. For a moment, there is silence while the background fades into insignificance, only the sound of your heartbeat in your ear as you stare into oblivion with hollow eyes.

Then suddenly, you feel something nudges you into confiding in Eunwoo, or maybe just allows him to gain a miniscule insight into your concealed vulnerability, even though you swore that you would never allow anyone to catch a glimpse of that vulnerability of yours after establishing an adamantine bearing.

Yeah, this has to be the alcohol-thinking that got your mind into a state of chaos. It seems like your high tolerance decides to betray you tonight.

“Have you ever been in love?” The question leaves your lips against your will before you can stop yourself. Oh, who are you kidding? There is no stopping, especially when you can feel the influence of alcohol affecting your whole being.

Eunwoo’s dark eyebrows jump up in surprise at the unexpected question, though he feels a tad amused by it, as evident in the way his lips form into a wistful smile. “I have, but it’s been years since we decided to break off the engagement and parted ways.”

It isn’t entirely surprising to you that Eunwoo had been in a relationship, especially with a divine face card like his. You hum in acknowledgement, languidly bringing another glass of liquor to your lips. “So what caused the rift in your relationship?” You decide to distract yourself by focusing on him instead.

A flicker of sadness is palpable in his eyes amidst the glistening reminiscentness before he looks down at his half-empty whiskey. “She wasn’t ready to be fully committed and didn’t want to move our relationship to the next level because she still wanted to travel and enjoy what the world had to offer.”

You can’t resist rolling your eyes at his statement. “She could’ve still travelled and enjoyed it even after tying the knots with you. It’s definitely her loss, then. You’re a total package. Rich and handsome.” You state rather bluntly.

Eunwoo heaves a sigh, unfazed by your monotonous flattering remarks. “It’s fine. We ended on good terms anyway. Now, your turn. Have you ever been in love?” He bounces the question back to you.

You feign a wince, scrunching your nose lightly while you dismiss the way your heart throbs painfully. “Tricky question. I don’t really know how to answer that.” You say brusquely as you suddenly find your glass rather interesting.

Eunwoo scoffs lightly, his eyes narrowing at you in suspicion. “More like you’re trying to dodge the question. Why are you afraid of answering?”

You can’t help but feel snappy. “I’m not afraid. I just feel like it’s a stupid question.” You tell him with a scowl on your face. “Forget what I asked earlier. Let’s just pretend that this conversation didn’t happen.”

“You’ve been in love before.” It isn’t a question, to which you feel as though his proclamation smacks you in the face, and when your wavering eyes meet his, he knows that he is right.

Despite the fact that Eunwoo manages to break through the equanimity you vehemently try to retain, your demeanour remains one of indifference as you look away from his invasive eyes. “It was a mistake of mine that I don’t intend to make again.” You utter dryly before taking another swig of your liquor.

Eunwoo winces lightly, recognising the fleeting heartbreak in your icy-glimmering eyes. “Was it that bad?”

“It’s complicated. We weren’t exactly in a relationship, but─ “ You grimace, refusing to make a trip down memory lane. “Let’s just say I was the one who removed myself from their lives permanently of my own accord. It was for the best.”

“Them?” Eunwoo raises his eyebrow inquisitively. “So there was more than one person you fell in love with?”

You narrow your eyes at him accusingly. “Is that judgement I sense?”

Eunwoo raises his hands up defensively. “Hey, I was merely curious. Besides, it’s totally normal for you to fall in love with more than one person. You can’t help with who you love.”

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” Your lighthearted chuckles carry an undercurrent of bitterness. “You would’ve seen me differently if you knew of my past, but unfortunately for you, I’m not one to recall what I’ve tried so hard to bury.”

“Trust me, whatever past you had, I would still see you the lovely and elegant Y/N Kang just as you are now.” Eunwoo reassures you, offering you a small smile as he pats your head gently before glancing down at his wristwatch. “I would love to listen to your whole life story, but it’s getting late and I have work the next morning.”

“Boooo. Only fools like you work on a weekend.” You make a face at him, to which he responds with a head shake and a chuckle emitting from him. “Seriously, working on a weekend is too excessive, even for you. How are you even going to date someone if you always spend your days at the office? At this rate, you’ll grow old and wrinkly alone because you’re always busy with work.”

“Thank you for your concern towards my dating life. Unfortunately for you, I don’t intend to date anyone anytime soon.” His amusing tone drips with sarcasm as he gets off his seat, adjusting his coat around his body. “Come on. I’ll send you back to your place.”

“Thanks for the offer, but I’d like to stay here a little longer.” You decline, earning yourself a disapproving yet concern frown from him.

“It’s nearly eleven, Y/N. The bar will be closing in a few hours, and it’s dangerous for you to go back alone at night.”

You sigh, getting a tad annoyed. “Eunwoo, I’ve always gone back on my own, and I turned out just fine. Even if someone were to assault me or follow me, I have pepper spray with me, so don't worry.”

Eunwoo hesitates. “But─”

“I also need some time alone to think.” You cut him off, insisting vehemently before softening your tone. “Please.”

Eunwoo eventually concedes, his lips pressing thinly as he stares at you. “Fine. Call me or Wooseok if you detect the slightest danger. I mean it.”

“I will.” You tell him, your tone providing him the assurance he needed before he embraces you with a side hug and proceeds to depart from the establishment, where only a few patrons are left, much to your surprise. Just earlier, there were a throng of them.

You redirect your focus on the two leftover glasses of yours. Pursing your lips, you reach out to grab one before taking leisure sips, and this time, the wave of inebriation hits you harder compared to the previous drinks you had while the liquor sends a burning sensation down your throat that coupled with the emotions you painfully restrain from making any utterance.

Desperate to quell those emotions, you take a last swig of your drink rather aggressively before placing down the glass and wiping the excess moisture from your upper lip. But it doesn’t help. Instead, you feel the restrained emotions breaking into a tumult that racks through your body.

Fuck, you should not have thought about them in the first place, especially when they trigger something in you that feels like a kill switch. Oddly, tears never spring up in your eyes, but rather, you feel wholly numb that even the goosebumps arising on your skin due to the lack of warmth layer clothing to barrier the temperature doesn’t deter you.

Maybe it was a good idea for Eunwoo and the others to leave you, but at the same time, maybe it isn’t a good idea for you to dwell over your past as the wounds slowly reopen. Maybe, just for tonight, you allow your inhibitions to be let loose as you finally come to admit defeat against your tenacity.

“Ugh, who am I kidding?” You mumble to yourself as you rub your forehead, facing down to the counter.

Yes, you admit that despite the fact that your life is going well, the inhibited part of you truly misses them and influences you into thinking that without them is simply just a cruel existence that you chose to feign ignorance to, when in the deepest depths of your heart, all you ever want is to call their names until they come back home to you.

But after what happened in the past, you are often caught up in a dilemma that keeps you up at night sometimes as you reevaluate every of your choices with one thing stuck in your mind — wondering if you dodged the bullets or just lost the loves of your life.

You wonder at times if they care enough to notice your permanent departure from Seoul, and just when disappointment is about to seep through you, you recall that you had deleted your old contact number as well as your phone in any case they decided to track you down, but considering that it’s been a year, it is more than apparent that you won’t be stumbling upon them since they had no idea of where you truly are now.

A drunkard chuckle leaves your lips at the irony of you thinking and missing them when you were the one who resolutely decided to remove your existence from their lives.

Whenever you walk around in a place full of people, and even now as you scan your surroundings for another time, your subconscious always sees them around in all these empty faces, despite the glow in their demeanour.

In the end, the heart will always want what it wants, no matter how much exertion you put into repressing the dangerous emotions in it.

Feeling an incessant pounding by all the pensiveness as well as the amount of glasses you drank, you opt to rest with your head that gradually feels heavy on your folded arms pressing onto the countertop, facing sideways. You close your eyes, hoping to dispel any lingering thoughts about them, but it is futile because, behind your closed lids, you can see their faces.

You snap your eyes open, only staring blankly at the wall while you can hear the sound of your mended heart cracking. Oh, you are most definitely drunk, because how is it possible that your heart has a palpable longing that hurts so much you can physically feel it?

You want to cry, you do. But it is as though you run out of tears after the times you weeped in your sleep at night in the beginning. Instead, your eyelids feel heavier, threatening to close before you finally yield and allow sleep to take over your vulnerable figure seated by the booth alone.

Though sleep has beckoned, you are still faintly conscious enough to feel something so warm and fairly large enveloping your shivering figure, providing a barrier to withstand the cold temperature, and you swear you feel fingertips tracing down your temple so delicately and warm lips pressing on your cheek before sleep eventually engulfs you whole.

Of course, sleep doesn’t last that long as you find yourself being jolted awake naturally, prompting you to flutter your eyelids open and noticing that you are still in the same bar. The nap was so good that you even find yourself being utterly disoriented.

You slowly raise your upper body with the intention to check your surroundings, but you halt at the moment a familiar cologne hits your nostril emanating from the leather jacket hung over your figure, causing you to freeze in your seat and panic because you recognise his cologne so vividly.

No, this couldn’t be his jacket. There is absolutely no way it belongs to him. You turn around to scan your surroundings with attentive eyes, only to spot a couple seated in the centre of the bar. Otherwise, nothing seems out of the ordinary.

“Excuse me.” You call for the bartender again with an entirely different purpose as she approaches you, noticing how panicked you look. “Have you seen anyone giving me this jacket while taking a nap?”

Much to your surprise, the bartender nods her head, kindling a hope in your chest. “A fine gentleman who also paid for your drinks. It’s a shame that you were asleep. You should’ve seen how handsome that man was.” She gushes dreamily whereas you scratch your head, confused yet terrified at the thought that it could be any one of them, but it is impossible for them to find you, let alone to be in the same bar as you are now.

Positive thoughts, positive thoughts ─ that’s what you keep telling yourself while attempting to calm yourself down. Maybe this jacket belongs to a thoughtful stranger, and the familiar smell of his cologne is just a mere coincidence. Maybe you are being paranoid over nothing.

You give yourself a firm head nod. Yeah, you are most definitely paranoid.

Deciding to head back to your apartment, you quickly book an Uber on your phone while you ignore the fact that you are getting comfortable with the leather jacket hugging you. It isn’t long when your Uber ride has arrived, prompting you to make your departure after thanking the bartender for her service. You don’t know why, but the jacket remains in your possession as it hangs around your figure. 

Once you step foot outside of the establishment, you spot the exact plate number as your Uber ride by the curb before you proceed forward. Reaching the black Audi, you are about to open the door to the backseat when you feel a wave of chills through you, and no, it’s not from the breeze.

It is the kind of chill where you feel as though someone is watching you from afar, and you swear you can feel the unknown source of burning gazes that prompt you to look at the car just a few parks away from the pavement curb — a red Lamborghini.

Due to the dim lighting, you squint your eyes in vain as you are unable to make out the person inside the car, but the engine is definitely running. Again, maybe you are being paranoid or just drunk since your head is pounding twice harder now.

You shrug the feeling off before proceeding to enter the black Audi, and you silently thank God that the driver is not the chatty type, allowing yourself to rest comfortably in the backseat and facing the window.

Just as sleep is about to take over you again, you spot something in the rearview mirror. Wait, not something, but the red Lamborghini you saw earlier, revving forward, albeit slowly. Again, you shrug it off, not wanting to freak yourself out over something so trivial, assuring yourself that it is merely a coincidence that the red Lamborghini is heading in the same route as you.

If there is one thing you hate about being able to tolerate any amount of alcoholic consumption is the fact you are not entirely immune to the hangover that strikes you as soon as you groggily wake up.

The pounding headache persists; even after you freshen yourself up as you head to the kitchen, your hair slightly dampens from showering. As you open your fridge to grab a bottle of water, the frown on your lips deepens when the recollection of last night finally hits you.

You clearly remember tossing yourself onto the couch as soon as you entered your apartment, having been enervated from all the drinking and thinking in one night, but when consciousness dawned earlier, you found yourself waking up in your bed and had been neatly tucked under the covers.

Your forehead creases as you think deeply, but your face twists into a grimace when your head throbs again before deciding to cease overanalyzing last night. You shrug your shoulders and close the fridge. Maybe you sleep-walked to your room, which is not surprising considering that last night’s dwelling at the bar was out of your new character as well.

Heaving a sigh, you grab your phone from the kitchen island with the intention to order food after neglecting your grumbling hunger, but the sound of the doorbell chiming sidetracks you. Confusion etches on your face as you make your way to the door, wondering who would pay you a visit at twelve noon.

Definitely not Jennifer, as she would always text you in advance, and definitely not any of your best friends since both are in Seoul, but when you swing the door open, you are proven wrong, standing there with your eyes widened in disbelief at the unexpected yet pleasant surprise.

“Y/N!” Karina heartily greets you, giving you no chance to recover from being greatly stunned by their unanticipated visit in Milan, let alone to be at your apartment, as she lunges for a bear-crushing hug, her arms around you as she squeezes you.

“Girls! What the─” You chuckle in disbelief, your smile stretching wider as Wonyoung joins in the reunion of your much-needed hug from your long-distance best friends. “Not that I’m complaining, but how, why, and what are you doing here? How did you even know my address? I thought you were on your respective business trips.” You inquire, confusion lacing your tone as you recall your conservation last week when you were in a video call with them.

Wonyoung, as elegant as ever, along with her captivating doll-like beauty, beams at you with a smile gracing her cherry-glossed lips. “Well, it’s a lie. Yunjin was the only one who knew about it. Plus, we wanted to surprise you!”

“For your info, she prefers to be called Jennifer now.” You correct her, smiling mirthfully at Wonyoung’s faux annoyance on her countenance.

“Miss Jennifer standing on business as soon as she landed here, huh?” Karina scoffs out playfully before nudging you by the shoulder as the three of you proceed to move further into your apartment. She slings an arm around your shoulder, casting you a grin. “So tell us, what did we miss out on?”

And so you begin to unravel what happened over the course of this week except last night, of course. You don’t want them to worry, and knowing their overprotective nature over you, it is best if some things are kept hidden.

Besides, both of them already have too much on their plates, especially with their respective careers. After graduating with their master’s degrees, they pursued the paths they had created for themselves at the start of university. Wonyoung is now a public relations writer under her grandfather’s company, whereas Karina is a fashion designer under a renowned luxury brand in Seoul.

Having known and seen your best friends thriving in both their lives and careers sends a wave of emotions that render you genuinely proud and elated for them, just as they do to you. No one is happier than your best friends to see the transformative change in you after what happened. To them, you are still the sweet, kind, and compassionate Y/N Kang, but there is a certain ambience of dominance you exude wherever you carry yourself to.

“By the way, we are also here for Milan fashion week.” Karina moves to another topic as the three of you decide to settle by the kitchen island. “Also a surprise since Jen managed to secure invitations for us. You’re coming too, right?” She looks at you with glittering eyes.

“Definitely.” You have long since anticipated attending the famous Milan fashion week, and thanks to Jennifer, you are invited as well as an exclusive VIP guest. The corners of your lips tip up. It is truly a privilege to be associated with someone who has connections to make the nearly impossible happen.

“Where are you girls staying, though?” You inquire, and from the corner of your eyes, you spot Wonyoung ambling towards the living room, probably to admire your apartment, and so you direct your attention to Karina.

“We’re staying at this five-star hotel apartment.” Karina answers, satisfaction emanating from her in the way her face goes animated as she excitedly tells you what has happened. “We’ve only been here for two days, but we can definitely see why you dreamed of travelling to Milan. The food here is amazing, and─”

“Hey, Y/N?” Wonyoung draws your attention, prompting Karina as well to turn around to look at Wonyoung by the living room since the kitchen island is adjacent. “I had no idea you were into flowers.”

“I don’t…” Your utterance wanes as soon as your gaze falls to the bouquet of luscious roses in her grasp, confusion fogging in your head. “Where did you find that?”

“On the coffee table.” Wonyoung’s eyes gleam with fascination as she examines the roses that no doubt are authentic. Even Karina shares the same fascination as Wonyoung, as they immediately gush over how beautiful the roses are. “Judging by the bouquet, it’s obvious that someone must’ve given it to you. So, who is the lucky guy?”

But they are oblivious to the confusion on your countenance that slowly morphs into horror at the vivid recollection of seeing nothing on the coffee table last night before you passed out on the couch. Dread begins to crawl onto your skin, matching the way your stomach churns unpleasantly.

First, it was you waking up in your bed to which you thought you had sleep-walked, then now, the roses that somehow magically appeared on your coffee table? The coincidence is too uncanny, but then the possibility might be true, to which you fear to admit.

No, it can't be that someone has intruded into your apartment when you know it yourself that you had the door locked last night. There was absolutely no way anyone could climb their way up to the highest floor to get to your balcony without falling to their death.

“A friend of mine. Jen’s cousin, actually.” You lie through your teeth steadily, deciding that it’s best if you don’t alarm your best friends. Your eyes narrow at their reactions, already knowing what they are going to say next. “But we aren’t dating or anything like that. Someone gave it to him, and he gave it to me instead since he wasn’t a fan of flowers.”

“Wait, is he the guy we saw once in her background when we were video calling that one time?” Karina’s enthusiastic inquiry is answered by your mere head nod. “Babe, he’s so fucking fine, and I swear he looked straight out of those vogue magazines. You should try dating him.”

“Agreed.” Wonyoung chimes, smiling triumphantly while they remain oblivious to the distress creasing your countenance. “Plus, you’d look good with him.”

A dry chuckle leaves your lips. “Yeah, that’s not happening. He’s a great guy and all, but I’m not interested in him, nor am I interested in dating. I don’t want to risk myself getting another heartbreak after—” 

You bite down your tongue, realising that you are getting too carried away and dwelling over the past once more. Seriously, just what is up with you since last night? You promised yourself that you wouldn’t dwell over your past again.

Upon seeing a certain yet familiar sombre casting shadow over your countenance, Wonyoung and Karina exchange knowing glances before Wonyoung decides to step forth. “We’re sorry. We shouldn’t have brought up anything regarding dating.”

You smile faintly at her, denoting your reassurance. “It’s fine. I know you had good intentions, but I meant what I said. I can’t afford to go through another period of heartbreak.” There is a palpable tremor in your voice that doesn’t go unnoticed by them.

There are a couple beats of silence before Karina initiates, her tone is an unwavering resolve. “You know what would make you feel better? Shopping.”

You chuckle, rolling your eyes playfully. “Please. I’ve had enough of that, thanks to Jen.”

“And I’m not having any of that. You still need to give us a tour around here. Now go on and get changed into something more presentable.” Karina shoots you a coy smile as you reciprocate with a scowl, but nevertheless, you comply.

“Here.” Wonyoung thrusts the bouquet of roses into your hands. “Don’t throw it away. It’s too beautiful to be thrown away. You can place it in a vase or something.”

You sigh softly in response. “Fine. Just wait here and make yourself comfortable like it’s your home.” You tell them before quickly making your way to your room as you grip the bouquet.

You admit that you did have an intention to throw these away, but now that you examine them, these roses indeed look authentically beautiful to be thrown away. Entering your room, you head over to the vanity table while looking down to examine these roses once more.

This time, however, your sharp eyes spot something white hiding amid the roses as you examine closely. Indulging your curiosity, you proceed to grab for it, only for you to hold a mysterious white card.

The rational part of you vehemently urges you to throw away the card while you feel a sense of dread creeping up on you before you slowly open the card to read the messages written on it in black ink.

But as you read it, your hand trembles, which match the way every fibre of your being goes haywire, while you can feel your heart nearly dropping to the pits of your tummy.

No, this can’t be from any of them. Heck, they don’t even know where you are, so it is nearly damn impossible for them to find you here out of all places when you cut off their contacts and bought yourself a new phone.

You quickly put aside the bouquet on the vanity table before attempting to occupy yourself in choosing your outfit of the day in your walk-in wardrobe, but it becomes futile when your mind drifts off to the seemingly harmless message that has an undercurrent danger.

‘You’re still beautiful as ever, sweet angel. Just a little while more.’

The weekend passes by quicker than you liked when you spend your time with your best friends, bringing them around to the places that you are familiar with, including your favourite ones, and before you know it, the highly anticipated Milan Fashion Week has arrived.

Eventually, whatever happened back then, in regards to the mysterious roses and the leather jacket that remains in your possession, is overlooked, as you have always been preoccupied focusing on what matters in the present, which is exactly what you needed to retain your sanity.

The moment you step foot into the venue, any remnants of worries dissipate from your mind as your eyes twinkle in fascination at the remarkable fashion appeal of the sophistication encompassing the entire event taking place while there is an elegantly unique ambience teeming in the atmosphere. 

Paparazzis as well as reporters can be spotted with their cameras flashing at the exclusive VIP guests, also known as industry insiders — designers from various fashion houses, buyers, fashion writers and editors, gorgeous models, and even celebrities from other countries. Everywhere your eyes sweep over, it is bustling.

Your gaze finally settles on a familiar brunette with her father, mingling with esteemed guests before you nudge Wonyoung and Karina to follow you. Once you reach the father-daughter duo, their attention is immediately shifted to you with the pleasant smiles on their faces stretched wider.

“Y/N!” Jennifer latches her arms around you, giving you a quick squeeze before moving over to enthusiastically greet Wonyoung and Karina while her father steps in to give you a fatherly embrace that you have grown comfortingly accustomed to.

“Hey, sweetie.” Her father greets you softly as soon as he pulls away, and your heart aches once more at how gentle he is, which reminds you of your father. You brush away the melancholy as you give him a smile. “You look outstanding, and I’m sensing my daughter’s touch on your apparel?”

Honestly, you beg to differ from his compliment, not when other guests dressed up to the nines except you. You didn’t want to potentially draw attention to yourself by dressing up too extravagantly, and so with your adamant insistence, Jennifer demurringly chose for you a gorgeous scarlet satin cami dress that accentuated your contours exquisitely, including the fact that you are practically braless underneath, while the colour matches your tinted lips.

You chuckle lightheartedly at the knowingness in his tone. “Of course. My fashion sense is good, but it can’t be compared to Jen’s.” You say, your eyes drifting to your best friends as they are still conversing rather excitedly, considering that the three of them are fashion enthusiasts.

You, on the other hand, are not as passionate as them, but you desire to experience the world-class fashion week that you often see across social media platforms every year. Plus, you’re experiencing this with your best friends, so this is more than you could’ve asked for.

Soon enough, Jennifer’s father withdraws from your mini group to socialise with other businessmen who are most likely his acquaintances, whereas you and your best friend advance forward to finally meet Eunwoo and Wooseok, both of whom had a pleasant dinner with your group yesterday. To say both of them look more charming than they usually do is an understatement, especially when they often draw attention with ogling eyes from the people in your vicinity.

Amidst the overflowing conversation, you take a moment to observe the exuberance in the glow of their countenance, and warmth tingles in your chest at the amiability they exude as they converse with each other. You are more than glad that the two men, despite them being a little older, seem to get along well with the girls.

After posing for some pictures, thanks to one of the cameramen, your group proceeds to head to the main venue, where the fashion runway show will be starting soon. It isn’t long until you and your group have settled in the venue with you seated in between Eunwoo and Wonyoung in the front row, where you are able to view the models in their sophisticated element as they stride on the runway, displaying such professionalism while adorning with unique yet striking apparel.

You most definitely did not expect to be engrossed by the entire runway show, but there is something about these models and the prowess they wield that bewitched you to the point where you don’t seem to notice Wonyoung and Eunwoo conversing with each other closer behind your back for the male to hear her better amidst the background music.

But then goosebumps begin to arise on your skin before you finally sense something, or rather someone’s eyes burning through you. A frown pulls down at your lips as you briefly look over your shoulder, only to see the other guests are occupied with the ongoing runway models.

Your forehead wrinkles in confusion as you decide to redirect your focus to the front. Maybe you are being paranoid, but the sensation of eyes on your figure is unmistakable, prompting you to examine the seated guests across from you.

Yeah, probably nothing, you think. It’s your mind that decides to— 

You force yourself to swallow the gasp that nearly leaves your mouth, and you swear you can feel your heart stop beating momentarily while the time around you seems to slow down. You truly want to believe that what you are seeing is simply an illusion that your mind conjured, but as your eyes continue to lock with his, there is a palpable electrifying sensation just by the connection between you and him that slowly intensifies, bringing dread to settle over your transfixed figure.

The corner of his lips curves up into a devilish smirk while his eyes darken with a cryptic purpose, and the worst part is, he’s not alone. You lock eyes with the familiar face seated next to him, whose lips mirror his best friend’s devilry. No, you must be seeing things, but as you blink your eyes for another time, you have come to a harrowing realisation that they are very much real.

The other two are not anywhere seated in their vicinity, to which you feel weirded out because even you know it yourself that the four of them come in a package and are practically inseparable despite their differences. Still, it doesn’t allay your incessant worries just because there are only two of them here.

Jay and Sunghoon. Although they are seated a few rows to the back from across yours, you can see how a year has changed them, be it for the better or worse, but probably the latter. They look even more mature than the last time you saw them.

Despite your collected demeanour, you are shaken terribly to the core with questions bombarding your head. You don’t wish to assume anything, and maybe their being here is merely a coincidence and that they were invited as well considering they are Chaebols just like your best friends, but the shadows casting over their countenance tell you otherwise.

If what you are thinking is true, then how did they manage to find you, and why now after a year? Were they the ones who may have potentially intruded your apartment and given you the roses while you were rendered unconscious? 

The way they gaze darkly at you is akin to predators finally catching their prey after the long hunt, with the only exception being that they look ravenous despite their steely, collected demeanour that adds more charms to their distinctive dark allures and visuals.

You refuse to allow their insanely handsome faces to dissuade you from taking a particular course that involves you to elude them at all costs, even when your heart has a fervent throb that feels all too familiar. Longing.

Amidst this unforeseen crisis, you try your utmost to defy against your longing for them, but it is gnawing desperately on the walls you built to protect yourselves from any more disappointments and heartbreak, and you fear to admit that you have indeed missed them, more than you should not have.

Hence, you turn away from their eye contact with a heavy heart, and at the same time, the runway event has officially ended, prompting the VIP guests to mingle around to discuss amiably yet professionally, whereas you find yourself being surrounded by your befriends and trying to keep up with their conversation as well as to go with the flow.

When your eyes shift to where you saw Jay and Sunghoon just moments ago, you find them missing from their spots, as if they were never there in the first place. Nevertheless, you uphold your resolve, and that is to stick close to your best friends, whereas Eunwoo and Wooseok have been whisked away by unfamiliar yet esteemed guests, leaving you with your girls to spend the rest of the day sticking to one another.

Throughout the entire event, as you explore the art exhibitions, pop-up stores, and other luxurious sophistication variety they offer with your best friends, you try your utmost to avoid giving away that you are still shaken up by seeing their faces while your inner turmoil feels endless. Every so often, you would check your surroundings for any sight of them.

Eventually, the night has fallen and the afterparty beckons, to which you wholeheartedly decide to join alongside your best friends and some other guests as you need to let loose the exerting tension in you.

The entire reception is bustling with respective pursuits from the guests, but it is the kind of pursuit where the conversations flow much more colloquially amongst each other while at the same time revelling in the piquant cuisines, various beverages, as well as the music that complements with the classy ambience reverberating throughout the resplendent reception.

Withdrawing from your group, you decide to head over to the beverage section, needing another drink to indulge yourself and invigorating your social battery that is ebbing away. A sigh leaves your lips. At least one thing that remains unchanged is the fact that your social battery is just as weak as it was before unless you ingest alcohol.

As your fingers wrap around the stem of the glass, you raise the glass to your lips and take sips of the champagne. A faint pleasurable hum emits from you as you greedily sips for more, feeling the familiar fizzy sensation within you.

Oblivious to your surroundings, you fail to take heed of the fact that your vulnerability as you stand alone by the beverage section is at anyone’s disposal for whatever intention they have towards you at this very moment.

Just as you place down the empty glass on the table, you feel an ominous presence looming from behind you while the backless of your dress allows you to feel their body heat rather intimately, sending an oddly familiar shudder through your transfixed body. Your breath goes hitched in your throat, feeling their warm breath fanning down on the skin of your exposed shoulder.

“I’m surprised to see you here without your boyfriend.” His voice sounds huskier, laden with desire and an undercurrent of ire, sending a dangerous wave of sensation through you, and yet you can’t help but discern how he sounds more callous than you recall, as though he has been through much.

Right, he is most likely referring to Eunwoo, whom he probably saw how intimately you were dancing with earlier, despite both of you knowing that you don’t see each other that way.

Little did you know that it took every ounce of self-control for him to master upon seeing the way Eunwoo’s hands on your hips as you two swayed to the music, and he wants nothing more than to rip off Eunwoo’s limbs for touching you.

You don’t dare to turn around as he continues to speak slowly just for your ears to hear him. “Don’t tell me that he got bored and ditched you?” His tone drips with piercing mockery that has you clenching your fist. “Cat got your tongue, baby? You know I’m right. He probably can’t fuck you better than I do.”

“You don’t know anything.” You retaliate, your voice sounding foreignly cold in your ears. “For the record, you are not the sex God you think you are. He could probably fuck me better than you ever did.”

You know that you are treading dangerously on the razor-sharp blade with the words you speak so disdainfully and the way his fingers tantalisingly caressing your exposed back speak volumes. “You’re right. I don’t know anything, not since after you left, so shouldn’t you be polite and give me a warm welcome?” He tuts disapprovingly.

“I’m not obliged to do so, especially when you’re nothing but a stranger to me.” You say tersely, hating how your heart aches at the words leaving your mouth so coldly detached, but you don’t want him or any of them to ruin the serenity that has been established in your new life here. You don’t need anymore corruption and toxicity.

Mustering courage, you turn around to face him, your steely eyes meeting his amused yet dangerous ones. You take a brief moment and discreetly examine him up-close, bringing more aches to your heart at how devastatingly handsome he looks than the last time you saw him.

His jet-black hair looks shorter with an undercut, and he has it styled impeccably that displays his chiselled forehead, allowing you to see his vertical left eyebrow piercing that accentuates his sharp steely eyes and the familiar noticeable scar on his bottom lip. His strong cologne infiltrating your senses nearly sends you deflating as you recall all the memories you had with him.

“You’re meaner to me than I was to you before.” He scoffs out, oblivious to the fleeting longing you almost exhibited by the look in your eyes. “You’ve changed, baby. Was it him? Is that why you’re looking at me with such disdain?”

“This isn’t about Eunwoo, and stop calling me baby. You have no right to call me any endearing names, Jay.” You seethe out, gritting your teeth. You hate the flicker of disappointment and hurt in his gaze, but then you recall when you were the one who bore the most wounds in the past. “Like I said, we’re strangers, so I don’t know who you are. If you’ll excuse me, I’m heading back to my friends.”

You don’t give him the opportunity to speak as you brush coldly past him, but just as you do, you fail to realise another figure who has been approaching from behind, causing you to halt in your steps when he latches his hand around your elbow.

You look at him in disbelief as he narrows his eyes at you. “Let go of me, Park Sunghoon.” You utter calmly, trying to tame the storms within you. His touch on your skin feels tingling with familiarity, one that is filled with both ecstasy and longing.

Maybe it’s the aftereffect of your departure from their lives, but you swear Sunghoon looks twice as attractive as you recall. His stark raven bangs fall over his eyebrow, doing nothing to obscure his dark eyes from penetrating into your glaring ones. His grip on your elbow is a silent warning, almost as if telling you to comply with him.

“You don’t want to make a scene in front of these people now, so I suggest you come with us obediently, princess.” His deep voice only seems to intensify the butterflies that awakened against your will, as does the endearment that brings back memories. “Let’s talk like civilised people, yeah?”

“We have nothing to talk about.” Surprisingly, you manage to escape from his grasp, and you quickly put some safe distance between you and him. “If I didn’t reiterate this enough, then let me make it simpler for you to understand. Leave me alone, and don’t you dare do anything to hurt Eunwoo or my friends.”

With one last glare at both of them, you immediately blend through the crowd to return to your friends. You don’t realise that you have been holding back your breath and how tense you look until one of them points out, drawing attention to you.

“Y/N, are you okay?” Jennifer inquires, her eyebrows furrowing with concern as she holds your shoulder. “You don’t look well.”

“I’m fine, but I think I’m going to call it a night.” You give her a small reassuring smile, contrasting how your insides are in a tumult upon your encounter with your past that you thought you had left behind. “Don’t worry about me. I’ll text you once I reach my apartment.”

“I’ll drive you.” Eunwoo offers, earning him an appreciative smile from you before the two of you proceed to bid your goodbyes to your friends.

“You looked pale earlier.” Eunwoo murmurs to you as you walk next to him, making your way to the exit. When his eyes meet yours fleetingly, you recognise the knowingness in them. “What happened?”

“I don’t know what happened and how it happened, Eunwoo.” Your voice sounds dejected despite maintaining your steely demeanour. “But I know for a fact that my past is finally catching up to me.”

The journey to your apartment is a silent ride, which you appreciate much since you need silence to ruminate about what still feels surreal to you. You have an inkling that Eunwoo is more than curious to know whatever you meant earlier, as you can see from your peripheral vision how his eyes frequently dart to you, but hesitation holds him back.

Feeling your head pounding, you grimace lightly as you lean your head to the headrest, facing the window. Just as you have every intention to put your fraught nerves to a temporary ease, your sharp eyesight catches a car in the rearview mirror, bringing a frown to your lips.

Initially, you wanted to ignore and dispel any ill-thoughts of the black Ford Mustang that have been driving in the same route as you, but this can’t be a mere coincidence that it is now heading towards the street to your apartment.

You attempt to calm your nerves that are set ablaze once more, not wanting Eunwoo to notice your discomfort. Obviously, when you saw Jay and Sunghoon earlier, they fucked you up in the mind, so it is highly possible that your paranoia right now stems from your previous encounter with them.

“Thank you. I owe you one.” You thank Eunwoo sincerely as soon as you arrive, trying your best to give him a smile while every fibre of your being is urging you to head inside quickly.

Eunwoo casts you a charming grin. “Nah, you don’t owe me anything. We’re friends. By the way, are you sure you don’t need me to accompany you to the lobby?” He asks, his concerned eyes scanning the rather desolate street through the window.

You shake your head at his thoughtful offer and reassure him with a smile. “It’s fine. The street looks creepy at night, but I’m used to it. Thanks again. I’ll see you whenever.” You bid him good night afterwards before exiting from his car.

You watch briefly as Eunwoo speeds off your street before you turn around with the hurried intention to head inside the building, but you stop dead in your tracks when you spot the black Ford Mustang parked by the curb in your street just a few cars down from where you are.

This time, goosebumps arise on your skin, and you have a strong inkling that this is no longer a mere coincidence. Your harrowing interest piques at the moment the both doors of the car push open, prompting you to hold your breath as you await the reveal.

As soon as you manage to catch glimpses of their identity, or more like their identity being obscured with familiar masks, your pulse begins to drum loudly in your ears while your eyes widen in sheer disbelief. Of course, they would follow you all the way here, but you didn’t expect that they really would, as though to chase after you.

Acting upon your fight-or-flight mode, you immediately hasten to head inside the building without looking back. A brief moment of relief washes over you as soon as the elevator opens automatically before you step inside and press the level you intended to go, which is five floors from where your apartment is situated.

You don’t want to take any risk of them finding out which level you live, or maybe they already know since they might also be the ones who gave you those roses. You take this chance to regulate your breathing, physically and mentally preparing yourself for the incoming exertion as you lean your back against the wall. 

Once the elevator chimes as it opens, you walk briskly as you make your way to the door, where the long flight of stairs is by the end of the corridor. You push the door open and waste no time in ascending the stairs. The sound of a door slamming loudly close from below triggers you as it intensifies your perturbation that has your chest tightening.

A growing sense of dread settles over you, bringing forth anxiety that surges through you as it manifests itself in the irregular rise and fall of your chest, while the gradual return of your headache causes an incessant rhythmic pulsating that parallels your pumping heart, nearly impeding you from the pursuit to your newfound sanctuary as you clutch onto the metal railing.

You feel the burning aches in your calves’ muscles as well as your feet, which are adorned in 3-inch stiletto heels, beseeching you for a moment of respite. You come to an abrupt halt just as you finally reach the last flight of stairs, wanting to catch your breath and trying your utmost to silence yourself from making any noise.

It is times like this where you finally question yourself: why on earth did you choose to live at the highest level in the first place?

But then again, you never had anticipated for anything like this to happen. No, you never would have thought that you would be running for your life out of fear again, not since after you departed from your old life and buried the horrible memories where they would never resurface in your mind again.

Despite the persisting fear that grips you, a rousing anger is palpable in you as a muscle pulses in your jaw while your eyes go hardened at the evocative paranoia you thought you had effaced in your mind. Yeah, maybe you are being paranoid. Maybe the car you saw back there was a completely different one than the one following you. Maybe your mind decides to fuck you up again after so long.

Or maybe the influence of alcohol is affecting your sanity, evoking such apprehension that strikes you as paranoid, but if it is, then the reverberating footsteps from below you as they ascend the flights of stairs should not have alarmed you when they probably belong to other residents that live in the same apartment building as you.

You refuse to look down and check their identity, fearing that they would turn out to be the ones you thought you had escaped from. Rallying your erratic nerves, the door just a few metres ahead of you is a beckoning to your pursuit as you set in motion once more, running even when you are still in heels. You push the door open haphazardly, hastening as your feet instinctively guide you to your apartment door by mere muscle memory.

Once you finally reach, you rummage through your purse before grabbing for your key card, but with your trembling fingers, you fumble with it as you attempt to tap your card onto the smart lock. You don’t look back, even when the sound of the exit door where you emerged from is being opened.

As the door chimes familiarly, you expeditiously open the door and shove yourself into your not-so-humble abode before closing the door behind you securely. You dismiss the sound of discernible footsteps from the outside of the door along the corridor, now feeling safe and sound, with a sigh of relief leaving your lips.

Having grown accustomed to the darkness enshrouding your apartment, you resort to normalcy while your rapid heart rate begins to decelerate as you busily store your platform heels in the shoe compartment and place your hand purse on the entryway table before advancing further into your sanctuary.

However, your steps seem to slow down while your stomach begins to churn unpleasantly as you heed to your instinct that vividly senses the eccentric, foreboding atmosphere. Thanks to the broad windows that allow the vibrant cityscape to illuminate your apartment, albeit dim, your eyes adjust to the surroundings as you survey for anything out of the ordinary.

The thought of an intruder in your apartment is simply preposterous when you know it yourself that you had both the door and balcony locked hours ago. Surely, this is your paranoid mind conjuring another ghastly thought that doesn’t help with your perturbation.

But when your gaze finally settles on a manly silhouette against the vibrant cityscape, maybe you were not being so paranoid after all. Still, despite the violent churns in your tummy, you intend to take feeble steps to get a better look at the intruder while your rationality beseeches you to grab something or do anything to defend yourself against the brooding danger.

The intruder is obviously a male, judging by his physique even when he seems to be clad in an all-black ensemble, and from his laid-back stance, he is leaning behind against the balustrade by the balcony with his arms crossed over his chest.

Not even two steps when the intruder decides to intervene as he leans away from the balustrade and saunters forward, allowing you the stark view of his veiled identity beneath the eerily familiar mask he adorns, to which your eyes widen in both sheer disbelief and alarmed. You’d recognise that red mask anywhere.

Your figure is transfixed on the spot while every fibre in your being is screaming at you to elude him, but it is as though his gaze behind the mask penetrates you, and even in the way he is deliberately stalking towards you. You ignore the way he tilts his head to one side that seems adorable.

“Missed me, my love?” His familiar voice sends you a jarring sensation that has your heart lurching in your chest. The pitch of his voice sounds deeper than the last time you heard him, and a sultry rasp is evident that is accompanied by a brewing ire, especially in the way he exudes such disconcerting danger.

You should be matching his ire, and maybe even greater than his since he intruded into your once-tranquil sanctuary, but it is completely absurd how, in the midst of this, you feel a palpable arousing desire that you haven’t felt so profound in a long time. 

This time, you know that it’s the influence of alcohol again. Oh, it is truly sickening, and you feel revolted at yourself, but maybe the wickedness in you has long since desired to be hunted and preyed on once more.

You open your mouth to speak, but it is as though you lost the ability to speak, unable to articulate your thoughts and feelings that are parallel in a torrent. It seems that he doesn’t feel satisfied with your lack of response as you finally take steps back, mapping the ways to elude him.

“I asked you a question, sweetheart.” He nearly growls out, and amidst the fear, your arousal seems to intensify. “Did you not miss me at all? Because I did, and I’ve missed you so dearly. How dare you leave me, my love?”

Instead of answering, you pivot on your heels and bolt for the main door, acting on your instinct, but the second you swing the door open, a startled yet frightful shriek leaves your lips when you come face-to-face with two ominous figures who adorn in familiar yet distinctive masks you dreadfully recognise.

“Where do you think you’re going, princess?” Even his voice behind that silver mask sounds deeper than you recall, and it is as though they’ve been through so much that accentuates in the way they sound and speak.

“Baby girl loves getting chased and tests our patience, like she usually did before.” His chuckles sound cold and harsh behind his black mask as he saunters towards you while you have long since backed away from your old predators, your mind mapping other ways to elude them. “It’s been long overdue, yeah? Let’s have a talk.”

You scoff, mustering the courage to display your long-established steely demeanour. “Oh, yeah. Let’s have a talk once I put all of you behind bars for your intrusion on my property.” Your aggressive retaliation takes them by little surprise, considering that they have been observing you as well as noticing the palpable change in you.

“Princess has gotten feistier.” He chuckles, but even you can discern how his patience is running thin in the way he sounds. He takes you by surprise as he takes a long stride forward in an attempt to reach for you, nearly growling out, “Come here.”

Of course, with your newfound vitality that incites from the adrenaline rush through you, now dashing for your room, completely determined to elude them despite the palpable yearning in your heart that adamantly desires to return to them.

Pushing open the door to your room, you shove yourself inside while your breathing is ragged from all the running ever since. Just before you can lock the door, a shriek leaves your lips when another intruding yet imposing figure towers over you, adorned in a familiar white mask.

You don’t even have the opportunity to recover when he seizes you in his possession, manoeuvring you and pinning you against the wall next to the door. His palm covers your mouth before you can scream, while the other seizes your bound wrists above your head.

“It’s been a long time, my beloved. Oh, how I’ve missed you so fucking much.” He lulls dangerously, tightening his grip on you while your pupils shake in fear as you stare at him with widened eyes, heeding to the ire that belies his longing. “Did you like the roses we bought for you?”

So it was from them. Even though you did like them, you refuse to admit it. You shake your head vehemently in response, earning you a disapproving tut from him. Your heart pumps harder as he closes the proximity between you two, his body heat is now in contact with yours.

“Liar. If you didn’t like them, you would’ve thrown them away, but you kept them instead.” He slowly removes his palm from your mouth, allowing you more capacity to regulate your harsh breathing. “Tell me that you’ve missed us, that you’ve missed me.”

You bite down your tongue, almost letting your true feelings that you thought you had them obliterated. Mustering the iciest glare you can, you penetrate your eyes into the eye sockets of his mask as you harshly utter, “I didn’t. Not one bit. Now leave, Heeseung─”

In a blink of an eye, Heeseung manoeuvres you again, and this time, you find yourself face-landing on the bed. You hear the door open, causing you to scramble on the bed as you finally gain a better view of your now-four predators encompassing your room, hindering you from any form of escape.

Their imposing figures that mingle with the thickening tension in the air suffocate you, and yet you can’t seem to stop your arousal from leaking from your throbbing clothed cunt. The hem of your dress hikes up way above your thighs as you attempt to crawl backwards, but a yelp emits from you when Heeseung grabs you by the ankles and pulls you towards them.

“We were going to play nice with you, but then you just had to be adorable and make things harder for us.” Heeseung’s voice holds dark promises that send you the pleasurable shivers, causing you to discreetly push your legs together in an attempt to stop the arousal, but it is futile.

“Bratty Princess needs to be taught a lesson.” Sunghoon drawls, and this time, your wrath is wholly eclipsed by the avid lust surging through you as you recall the last time you ever defied them.

Despite your steely, scowling demeanour, your heart races in anticipation, and your mind is dizzying from both the alcohol and the incessant need for them to reciprocate your darkest temptation. You squirm lightly under their penetrating gazes behind their masks that ooze with the familiar dark allure which the devilry in you desires most.

Oh, fuck, maybe you did miss them and their cocks.

Still, displaying your defiance towards them sounds as ever thrilling, and just for tonight, you decide to push aside whatever hurt and yearning in you that were caused by them. Tonight, you need to satiate your feverish lust that has long been neglected.

“What do you say, baby girl? Do you still want to play this the hard way, or do you want to talk?” Jay asks, the mockery dripping from his deep voice matches his imposing mask.

Of course, the answer is more than obvious to you. Supporting your upraised body with your elbows on the dipping mattress, a cold smirk plays on your lips while your sultry gaze is a silent yet powering invitation to them, as does your stark, revealing legs.

“You guys reek of desperation.” You scoff, still smirking, while you feign disgust with your eyes that do nothing to dispel the thickening heat in the air. “Seriously, fuck off─”

“So the hard way it is, then.” Heeseung deprives any more provocation from you as he hauls you up by the arm, nearly has you tumbling forward, but he steadies you as he cups your cheeks, forcing you to look into the dark, hollow sockets with widened eyes while you feel arousefully shaken by the depraved mockery by his mask’s visage alone. “Let’s make it a little fun, shall we? You’re going to try to escape from us, but if we catch you, we fuck you.”

With the persisting adrenaline rush in you, of course you are more than glad that things are now exciting in the most depraved way, but you refuse to give away your cooperation. After all, you had missed being a brat.

“No, fuck you! I’m going to report you for your intrusion.” You vehemently emphasise, and for a moment, you nearly deflate when your eyes flicker down at the necklace around his neck with a familiar ring resting on his chest, causing your heart to squeeze, but you quickly compose yourself before shoving him away from you with your every strength. “See your asses in jail.” You manage to splutter before bolting for the door and swinging it open.

It is odd how you hear none of their footsteps behind you when you expect them to chase after you. Nevertheless, you hasten forward, now heading for the door that grants you the freedom you feign seeking, but your rationality is beseeching you to actually escape.

As soon as you reach, your hand latches on the handle to push down and open, but it won’t budge at all. Huffing, you try for another time, only to receive an automated beeping sound from the smart padlock, bringing dread to you. You are locked from the inside out, and you have no idea how when this has never happened.

“My sweetheart can’t open the door?” Jake’s voice is laced with mockery, prompting you to turn around to see him leaning sideways against the wall of the end of the entryway with one hand tucked inside his pocket while the other holding his phone, to which your eyes narrow. Your suspicion is correct when he is the one responsible and manipulates your chance at escape. “I did a little modification on your smart padlock. Hope you don’t mind, lovely.”

Cursing under your breath, you resort to another plan, which is none, but you make a run from your predator anyway. You find yourself in the kitchen, which you actually never planned to, but just when you’re about to make an exit, a small shriek leaves your lips when Jake appears by the entrance of the kitchen, prompting you to back away.

“Do you know how adorable you look like this? Running away from me.” You ignore the fact that Jake’s breathy chuckles resurrect the butterflies in your tummy, your eyes darting to your surroundings while he continues to revel in the way you look so frantic. “Come on, now, sweetheart. Just surrender yourself to me, and we’ll make you feel good all night long.”

When your eyes settle on the kitchen knife, you grab it on instinct and just on time as he swiftly moves closer to you, feeling his body heat oozing to yours. With a cold snarl, you deftly manipulate your moves on him, now finding himself being pinned against the wall by you with your arm pressing on his chest while the other positions the sharp blade to his neck.

“Wow, sweetheart. I always knew you had it in you.” Jake chuckles again, completely undaunted by the fact that you are holding him dangerously at a knifepoint. “That’s why we’re the perfect match. How truly adorable you are, my dearest.”

“Stop talking and undo what you did to my door.” You coldly snarl at him, your eyes glaring heated into the hollow sockets of his mask. Honestly, you don’t have any malicious intent to harm, only wanting to give him a good scare, or at least you attempt to.

“This brings back memories, don’t you think?” Jake simply ignores your demand, his smirk widening behind the mask as he revels in the way you look attractively brazen with a lethal weapon in your grasp. “It would’ve been more perfect if you wore a ghostface mask. You’d look so fucking good─Fuck.” He groans, a sensual growl evident in the rumble of his chest when you intentionally press your thigh against his prominent bulge.

You scoff in disbelief while the corner of your lips twitches to a smirk that you hold back, revelling in the dominance you assert over him. “Are you seriously getting hard over this? You like it when I hold the knife to your neck, knowing that I could easily end you?”

“Fuck yeah.” Jake gasps lightly as he leans his head back against the wall, baring his exposed neck to you with his Adam’s apple bobbing up and down while he slowly grinds his bulge against your thigh, nearly whimpering out. “Please, sweetheart.”

“What are you pleading for? For me to cut your throat slowly while I fuck you?” Mockery drips your tone as he continues to grind on you. A part of you feels wickedly delighted that Jake is at your mercy, especially as he is evidently turned on by your derogatory remarks. “You like the idea, don’t you? Fucking nasty.”

“At least I’ll bleed to death happily with your pussy wrapped around my cock.” Jake chuckles breathily, his lips curving into a smirk at the deleterious yet salacious thought while his mind conjures up the erotic image that goes straight into his borderline-painful erection. 

“You really are pathetic and a psycho, do you know that?” You hiss, pressing the sharp blade into his skin, but careful enough not to tear it. “Even in the face of death, sex is all you can think about.”

“When it comes to you, then yeah. I’m only ever hard for you.” He rasps, his voice sounding deeper while you discern a certain yet palpable shift in the air. Your eyebrows furrow slightly when he halts grinding, followed by a sigh. “Alright, sweetheart, playtime’s over. It’s my turn now.”

Your face contorts into confusion while you unintentionally loosen your grip on the knife. “What─” A startled gasp leaves your lips as soon as he deftly does an uno reverse on the situation, now seizing control over you that prompts him to possess the knife while backing you up swiftly until you hit the countertop behind you.

Your breath hitches in your throat as you feel the sharp blade on the skin of your neck, prompting you to tilt your head up to look at him while your heart pounds harder against your chest. Rather than the expectant fear, the position only intensifies your arousal coupled with the fogging lust in your head.

“What are you waiting for? Do it.” You jab him with provocation, your eyes glinting with challenge as you dare him to tear your skin. He remains silent, but the knife remains on your neck. You decide to provoke him again, leaning your neck to press against the blade while a smirk smears across your lips. “Don’t deny it. Deep down, you know you’ve always wanted to. From that moment you chased after me and fucked me as ghostface.”

“You know me so well, lovely.” Jake hums as he drags the pointed tip down your skin tantalisingly slowly with purpose. You shudder lightly as the tip ghosts across the expanse of your exposed chest. “But as much as I’d love to see you bleed prettily for me, I don’t want your precious skin to scar other than my mark. Now remove your underwear, and don’t make me repeat it.”

Surprisingly, you comply, trying your utmost not to seem eager while he takes one step away to allow you space to remove your underwear before you let it drop to the floor.

“Sit on the counter.” Jake orders sternly again, and heeding obedience, your palms plant on the countertop to assist in pulling up your body weight. “Now spread your legs, baby.”

You bite down your lip as you slowly spread your legs apart while the hem of your dress bunches up, only to be taken by surprise when he stands in between your legs with his thumb stroking along your slick folds until he reaches your clit to rub lazy circles, eliciting a gasp from you.

“It looks like I’m not the only one getting turned on by this.” Jake scoffs lightly, his thumb doesn’t relent from rubbing your clit, stimulating the bundle of nerves while a breathy moan escapes you. “Let’s take a trip down memory lane, shall we?”

“Jaeyun.” A startled gasp leaves your lips while your heart nearly lurches in your chest when he presses the edge of the knife’s handle on your clit that throbs from the solid sensation. He slides down the handle along your slick folds before taking you by surprise when he slowly pushes the handle into your cunt. “J-Jaeyun!” Your hand latches on his shoulder as you feel a spark of fear within you.

“What’s wrong, sweetheart? You weren’t so afraid earlier.” Jake teases you, but when his eyes flicker to yours, he halts his movement, with nearly half of the handle disappearing into your wet heat. He cups your cheek with his other palm, using his thumb to gently stroke your skin. “Relax, sweetheart. Don’t tense up. I won’t hurt you, you know that.”

Your heart melts upon hearing his gentle assurance, and you can’t resist falling for his charms as you place your hand on top of his, your eyes staring into the hollow sockets of his mask as you give him a nod that denotes a green light, to which he resumes his ministrations.

“Jae.” You moan, surrendering yourself to the sensation of your cunt being assaulted by the knife handle as you prompt your legs to spread wider for him, displaying your avidity in his hungry eyes as he watches how you’re taking it.

“That’s it, my girl. You’re doing so good.” Jake whispers amourously, bringing his two fingers to your mouth, to which you understand his intent as you open your mouth to stick your tongue out for him to collect your saliva before his slick fingers make their descent to your clit to rub it with skillful precision that has your cunt clenches around the handle. “Feels good?”

“So, so good.” You moan out your response, your hooded eyes fluttering open and close as you tilt your head up while moving your hips in tandem with the handle being thrust into your nearly weeping cunt.

Unbeknownst to you, another masked predator has been watching since the moment Jake fucked you with the knife handle, leaning sideways against the entryway of the kitchen with his arms folded. Behind the mask he adorned, his eyes darken as he drinks in the erotic display of you getting lost in the euphoria with your legs spread wide and your back arched that causes your erected nipples to be visible against the material of your dress.

Feeling a presence from behind him, Jake casts a brief glance over his shoulder to see his best friend without stopping the momentum. A smirk touches his lips, knowing that his best friend desires you vehemently.

“What are you standing there for?” Jake’s question draws your focus, and when you do, your eyes latch on the familiar silver mask as he stands across from you. Your cheeks go warm at the fact that Sunghoon has been watching you being shamelessly fucked by a mere knife handle. “You’re welcome to join. I’m sure our girl would love a set of fingers to stretch her.”

“Didn’t know princess was into this kind of stuff.” Sunghoon drawls as he saunters forward while you only feel a wave of anticipation for another to ruin you. “Like Jake said, I’m gonna stretch you good for you to take us later.”

A whimper leaves your lips as you feel the loss of the knife handle, causing your cunt to clench at the emptiness, but a gasp tears from your throat at the abrupt intrusion of Sunghoon’s cold, slender fingers plunging into you, replacing what was deprived of you.

“Hoon!” You moan loudly as his fingers thrust into you vigorously, yet it is a familiar momentum you had missed, prompting you to latch your hands onto his broad shoulders with your nails sinking into the material of his jacket.

“You’re soaking wet, princess.” Sunghoon grunts, increasing his pace as he fucks you with his fingers, eliciting a lewd sound from the slicks of your cunt that denotes your arousal. “So tight too. Should’ve fucked you sooner. How are you going to take us?”

But his remarks are drowned out by the sound of your moans that serenade to them, rendering them impatient as their erection is raging beneath the slacks. 

“Sweetheart is dripping.” Jake coos, joining Sunghoon as he decides to set the bundle of nerves aflame with his thumb rubbing your clit. The dual sensation from the two best friends sends you to the teetering edge of ecstasy.

“Fuck. Hoonie! Jae!” You whine, planting your palms beside you on the countertop as you move your hips sensually yet at the same tandem as their fingers. You can feel yourself on the brink of the need to release, your body tauts with tension alongside the knot coiling in your tummy, getting ready to hurtle yourself to the climax.

“I’m going to cum!” Just as you announce, they cruelly deprive you of the orgasm that is slowly ebbing away as they pull away from your throbbing cunt, eliciting a sob from you while tears prickle in your eyes.

“You didn’t think that we’d give you to cum so easily after abandoning us, did you?” Sunghoon scoffs, leaning forward to cradle your face to wipe a single tear running down your cheek. His palm rubs your thigh soothingly before grabbing it. “Wrap your legs around me, princess.” He murmurs, and you do so obediently with your arms hooking around his neck on instinct.

Sunghoon proceeds to carry you back to your room with his hands supporting your buttocks. You indulge your body that has been craving this intimacy with him as you hug him tighter and bury your face in the junction of his shoulder and neck. His familiar cologne is a soothing balm to your nerves.

As soon as Sunghoon enters your room, he sets you down on the bed, prompting you to unwrap yourself from him. With the streaks of moonlight filtering into your window, your eyes spot the shade of Heeseung’s hair that looks lighter, unlike his best friends.

Your attention is pulled by Sunghoon as you look at his imposing figure looming over yours by the edge of the bed. “Strip for us, princess.”

Overcome by a surge of defiance, you scoff, rolling your eyes at him as you remain unmoving from the bed. “No.”

“I said fucking strip. Don’t make me repeat it for another time unless you want a good spanking.” Sunghoon's assertive dominance sends an intoxicating wave to you that nearly suffocates you.

Feigning reluctance, you huff lightly, your fingers curling at the hem of your dress that is bunched up to your hips before you pull it up purposefully slowly, as though to taunt them. All the while, their eyes are in a hypnotic trance at every perfect contour of your nudity despite the lack of light in the room, feeling borderline ravenous as you finally toss aside your dress without breaking eye contact with them.

Then palpable tension in the air feels electrifying that mingles with your anticipation, garnering their attention to your spellbinding lascivious gaze that melds with the hatred while your futile effort to discreetly squeeze your thighs together to repress the incessant arousal in your wet core amuses them.

“Tie her.” Heeseung’s command staggers you, and every bit of your provocation towards them dissipates.

“Wait, what?” But your reaction delays as Sunghoon hovers on top of you, catching you off guard when he curls his fingers around your neck to pin you firmly to the mattress. “Sunghoon!” You gasp in disbelief, your hands latching on his arm to claw at him, but Jay manages to seize them and locks them in place above your head, only for you to feel him tying your wrists together.

As you continue to squirm underneath them with strings of curses leaving your lips, Sunghoon asserts his dominance again to tame you, his fingers around your neck tightening that elicits a strangled gasp from you, prompting you to look at him with widened eyes.

“Behave, princess.” Sunghoon nearly growls out, but instead of intimidation, you feel sensually aroused by his familiar rough treatment. “You’re already in deep trouble for daring to abandon us for a whole damn year.”

You don’t make any retort, having a keen sense that what you did have aggrieved them, and now what’s awaiting you is their depravity that is practically ravenous to devour you in any moment from now.

“What, no comebacks now?” Sunghoon asks mockingly, tilting his head in amused curiosity, whereas you merely glare at him despite his mask feeling imposing on your vulnerable figure, as do his fingers around your neck. “What happened to the bratty princess with a foul mouth?”

Before you can even retaliate, Jay’s voice cuts through the air. “Hoon, move.” He commands coldly, and Sunghoon reluctantly gets off from you, now leaving you entirely exposed under their ravenous gaze with your stark nudity on display.

“Care to tell us what’s this?” Jay inquires as he raises an alarmingly familiar pink equipment, or rather, rose vibrator, in his grasp, causing your cheeks to feel warmer in utter embarrassment.

“You snooped around my room!” You decide to mask your embarrassment by the sheer anger in your voice. “God! Don’t any of you have any decorum?!”

“Says the girl who owns a vibrator.” Jay retorts calmly, and you can sense the annoying smirk on his charming face. “So you didn’t manage to find anyone to fuck you good throughout the year, baby?”

You ignore the endearment again, scoffing. “I have needs, just like you guys do when you beat your meat, and who says I didn’t manage to find someone?”

It looks like none of them is obviously appreciative of your statement, even though you are merely taunting them, as evident in the way the tension becomes unbearably hot. The next thing you know, Jay brings down the functioning vibrator to your clit, sending you jolting shockwaves of pleasurable sensation through your body.

“Ungh! Fuck!” You moan loudly, your eyes rolling to the back with your neck arching, and your legs threatening to close due to the overpowering sensation from the vibrator as he set it on the highest level, but Jake and Sunghoon pin your legs on each side, preventing them from closing. “Please! It’s too much!”

“Too much? I recall a certain slutty princess wanting to cum earlier.” Sunghoon smirks, revelling in the way you are borderline ruined just by your own vibrator, to which Jay presses deeply onto your clit that is going ablaze. “So you’re going to cum for as many times as we want you too.”

It feels tortuous despite the persisting pleasure that derives from your clit area, which is nearly sensitive. With your binded wrists, you can only afford to squirm under their hold. A series of moans and cries leave your lips while your hips move with little resistance in an attempt to feel the vibrator deeply.

It isn’t long until you can feel it as your impending orgasm that is teetering at the precipice finally crashes down like tidal waves, releasing fluids as they gush out from your pulsating cunt that is ready to be stuffed full by their cocks.

“So fucking messy,” Jay tuts, deciding to show you a little mercy as he removes the vibrator from your now-sensitive clit, but he lands a slap on your slick folds before repeating for a few times, causing your hips to jolt up involuntarily at the impact. “And that’s only the first orgasm.”

As soon as Jake and Sunghoon unpin your legs, you close them instinctively and turn to one side as you bring your tied wrists to your chest, your mind fuzzing from the aftermath of that intense orgasm. You hear shuffles from them, probably clothes discarding, and the next thing you know, hands seize your legs to pull you down towards them, eliciting a yelp from you before they haul you up.

Your heart flutters at the close proximity between you and Jay as he holds you close to him, his fingers caressing your cheek tenderly feels deceptive, but nevertheless, you savour whatever bits of affection he gives before you feel a hand tugging you and beckoning you to him.

“Come here, sweetheart.” Jake’s voice sounds huskier than usual as he pulls you down with him, settling you on top of him and aiming his erection towards your cunt before he forces you to sink down on him.

Since it has been a year since you had proper sex, your cunt is forced to get accustomed to the sheer girth of his cock, your walls welcoming him tight while you moan brokenly by the remnants of resistance.

“Jaeyun.” You whimper as he grips your hips to move you in a bouncing motion for good measure before his arms envelope your body to pull you down with him as he lays on his back. You whine, imploring him to resume his thrust, but he remains unmoving until you feel another presence looming over your docile figure with his hand spreading your supple butt.

You nearly jolt at the abrupt sensation of the heavy girth of his cock smacking your ass repeatedly. “We’re going to fuck your holes at the same time, baby.” Jay says, his tone sounding smug, whereas you begin to panic as you recall the blistering pain the last time they fucked you in the ass.

“W-Wait! I don’t know if it’ll fit!” But your protest goes unheard as Jay slides his cock into your tight hole, tearing a broken gasp from you at the familiar sensation. Both Jy and Jake waste no time in thrusting their cocks into your holes, setting a pace that sends you reeling in both pain and pleasure that slowly surges through your body.

“Fuck, baby.” Jay groans, his head tilting up as he stands by the edge of the bed while gripping your hips for leverage, working in tandem with Jake with the sound of your skins slapping against each other due to the borderline vigorous pace they set in motion.

“Sweetheart’s still so tight even after all this while.” Jake rasps, lifting his head to press a kiss on your shoulder with his masked lips while he holds you by the plumpness of your butt cheeks as he thrusts into you. “Don’t worry. We’re always going to keep you full with our cocks.”

“That’s fucking right.” Jay grunts from behind you, delivering a brutal yet deliberate thrust that has your body jolting forward and staying completely still as he buries his cock deeply and dumps his cum into your anal. “You’re not going to leave us like that again.”

Their promises go unheard by you as you are too caught up in the delirium. “P-Please, more!” You plead in a sob, desperately moving your hips to meet Jake’s thrust while Jay remains buried in your anal.

“Greedy baby.” Jay coos, brushing your hair away from sticking to your face before tangling his fingers in your hair to grab it in a makeshift ponytail as you are forced to form an arched body. “Baby girl wants more, so fuck her harder, Jake.”

Jake complies, increasing the pace that elicits lewd sounds from your slicks of arousal. His once slow, deliberate thrust changes into one that has your eyes going white and mouth parted open with silent moans.

With Jake’s loose arms falling from your body, Jay grasps the opportunity to haul your body up before he deftly binds your arms together with the tie from behind you while Jake remains seizing control over your hips to meet his thrust, causing you to bounce on his cock.

“Jay.” You moan out as Jay amplifies your heightened pleasure with his fingers tweaking and pinching your sensitive nipples, occasionally palming your tits. With Jake’s thrust going relentlessly frenzied, your climax looming with an intensity that feels familiar, causing your cunt to clench and unclench around him.

“I’m going to cum inside you, sweetheart. Fill you full of my babies.” Jake’s voice is laden with lust and a hint of longing, while the pitch of your moans goes higher as he fucks you harder. “Yeah, you’d like that, don’t you? Our babies will look so beautiful.”

With one last thrust, you tumble over the edge of ecstasy with white-hot pleasure surges through you as you cream all over his now-lathered cock while he buries himself to the hilt, filling your womb with his babies just as he promised.

A weak moan leaves your lips, feeling the tantalising drag of Jake’s cock along your white-painted walls as Jay slowly lifts you up from him before he settles you on the bed, facing the ceiling. Your eyelids feel heavier as you grapple to bask in the aftermath of your second orgasm of the night.

But of course, your masked predators never finish with you. “Don’t lose yourself to sleep now, princess. We haven’t had our turns yet.” Sunghoon’s cocky voice diminishes the slumber that beckons you. “You haven’t even had your punishment yet.”

As soon as those words leave his lips, a painful smack on your smeared-cum folds causes you to jolt from the impact, eliciting more sobs from you as Sunghoon and Heeseung work in tandem to deliver your punishment. One slapping your nearly-reddened cunt while the other rubbing your sensitive clit with torturous precision.

“You dared to leave us when you promised to stay by our side.” Heeseung’s deep, sombre voice that carries an undercurrent of laden lust overpowers the sound of your sobs and moans, aligning the way he delivers wet slaps to your cunt. “A year without you─ Fuck,” He lands another slap that punctuates his deep ire while tears stream down your cheeks. “You were so cruel to abandon us, beloved.”

Your heart clenches at the noticeable crack in his tone. This time, you release a raw sob that unveils your poignancy, which you have kept hidden with other sentiments you repressed yourself for a year. But you remain silent, refusing to apologise when you know you did what you had to, despite the regret.

After what it feels like forever, your punishment ends with Heeseung soothing your abused folds with the gentle padding of his fingers while your breaths become laboured from the crying. You thought they would be gentle with you after the intense punishment, but Sunghoon proves you wrong when he hovers on top of you and slaps down his weighty cock on your wet folds before plunging into your cunt with one swift thrust.

“Hoon!” You gasp out, his hips pistoning harder and faster as he fucks into you with reckless abandon. Just like that, your arousal returns to your heated core. Your glazed eyes stare at him, hating how you can’t see the contortion in his charming face and his upper body still clad with the layers of his clothes, just like the others.

“Wrap your legs around me, princess.” Sunghoon grunts, halting his thrust while you take this signal to wrap your legs around his waist with his arms securing around your body. As he holds you in the air, you try your utmost not to bounce on his cock, even though you are tempted too.

“We’re going to fuck your sweet cunt at the same time, princess.” Sunghoon tells you as he slowly settles you back on the bed, only for you to feel a warm body in contact with you from behind. “Fuck you full however long we want to.”

Your moans go straight to Jay and Jake’s twitching cocks as they watch you in fascination, their eyes transfixing on your pussy that is welcoming Heeseung while Sunghoon remains buried in you.

“Hee, Hoonie.” You whimper, needing them to fuck you into oblivion. “More, harder.” It is as though coherency leaves you from the moment they start to thrust into you potently, working well in tandem with one push and the other pulls before they exchange and repeat the motion.

“You were made for this, princess. Made to take our cocks.” Sunghoon growls, sending shivers down your spine while you feel helpless with tied arms behind you pressing against Heeseung’s stomach. “Everything about you is made for us.”

“Yes.” You moan out, your walls clenching around them elicits collective groans and moans from them before their thrusts become more fervent and punishing, bullying their cocks into your abused cunt, and yet you feel such longing in the way they hold you close.

“Never going to let you slip from my fingers again.” Heeseung says in between bated breaths next to your ear, his fingers descending to rub your clit and adding more to your building pleasure. “Gonna breed you until we’re satisfied.”

“Fucking breed you so you can’t escape from us.” Sunghoon mutters harshly, using his other hand to grab you by the neck, enough to apply pressure that accentuates his promises. “If you think you can run away with our babies in you, then you have another thing coming, princess.”

You moan weakly in response, focusing on the white-hot pleasure surges through your body while your impending climax is teetering once more. You can feel their cocks swelling in you, amplifying your overall pleasure.

“Yeah, baby, cum for us.” On Heeseung’s command, your cunt releases the gush of fluids as you squirt messily everywhere, causing your beeding to be completely drenched, with their cocks still thrusting into you while your body convulses between them.

“We got you, my love.” Heeseung’s voice is a velvet stroke in your ear, calming you down from your high that is accompanied by his hand stroking your bulging abdomen from their girth, their thrust unrelenting.

“Give us one more, princess. You can do it.” Sunghoon’s tone is akin to Heeseung, albeit stern but with a tinge of palpable gentleness that has you mewling, feeling moved by their words that have reignited your arousal tenfold and caused you to arch into their scorching touch while your cunt pulsates with each precise thrust that hurls you into a new height of ecstasy.

Getting lost in the heady mix of lust, moans, and sweats amidst your entwined body, you can feel your pleasure building to an unbearable crescendo that mingles with theirs, eliciting moans and grunts from the three of you, and the sensation getting more intense.

Finally, the knot in your tummy snaps as you surrender yourself to the pull of ecstasy, fluids gushing out for the third time as you squirt uncontrollably for them before they follow suit with primal roars as they bury their cocks to the hilt of your womb, keeping their words true as they seal you with their fate for the better or worse.

Following the aftermath of your fiery yet passionate encounter, you go slump on top of Heeseung while Sunghoon slowly withdraws his cock from your spent cunt with a sigh. After contemplating, Heeseung removes himself from you, eliciting a whimper from you at the sheer sensitivity.

You flutter your eyes close, resting momentarily while you slowly wrap your head around about what the fuck happened in just one night, and the night isn’t even over, especially for you. You feel full with their cum they had fiercely dumped into your womb, causing it to leak from your gaping cunt. You feel hands untying your restraint from behind, granting your aching arms the freedom they were deprived of as you rub them with a wince, leaving your lips.

When your eyes flicker to your masked men who are surrounding the bed, tension eventually brews, bringing the familiar wave of heat to you as you notice the way they seem to be focused on your cum-smeared cunt leaking down.

“Fuck me again, please.” You blurt out in a plea before you can stop yourself. With your hooded lustful eyes, you gaze at them sensually as you bite down your lip, your fingers finding their way to your cunt before you rub your sticky clit, enticing them in the way you arch in your own touch with your legs spread lewdly. “I want you. All of you.”

“You heard our girl. She wants all of us.” Heeseung tells his best friends, a soft smirk unfurling on his lips as he looks at them. “Let’s give her what she wants, and maybe even more.”

Things escalated more heatedly from that moment forth, your heightened libido matching theirs that you even cooperate well with them, despite the painful nostalgia it brings you back to the past, and it is absurd to you how the orgy that taints your once tranquil night feels natural. Of course it is. You have always fantasised for them to fuck you just exactly like this with their masks on.

“Fuck off, dude. You already dicked it in her. It’s my turn now.” Jay snarls at Jake, and you can only imagine the scowl on his face behind the mask. Yes, they are still wearing their mask, and miraculously, they are able to withstand the heat. You feel Jay’s possessive grip on the flesh of your bum, causing you to roll your eyes at their banter. “I’m not about to fuck her with your dick in her again.”

“Why? Afraid that you’ll get turned on by my dick instead of her pussy?” Jake retorts, grabbing his shaft to point aim at your anal that has been prepped by Sunghoon. “Nothing wrong with some bromance.”

“Either the two of you stop arguing and start fucking her, or I’ll do it instead.” Sunghoon voices out his annoyance that is accompanied by your whine of agreement. “Be grateful that you got both her pussy and ass. I got her mouth.”

“Better than nothing.” Heeseung sighs, watching as you unhinge your jaw for Sunghoon and welcome him when he slides his cock into your mouth. He can see the way your throat bulges each time Sunghoon fucks his cock deeper, eliciting gurgled and choked sounds from you in between moans from being fucked by Jay underneath you, whereas Jake uses your anal hole to fuck you fervently.

Feeling a little neglected, Heeseung steps forward and grabs your hand, to which you seem to understand his need, prompting your hand to latch on his cock that is completely erected before you finally fist him. Thankfully, with the strength of Jay and Jake supporting your body, you are able to satisfy Heeseung with how dexterous you are with your hand.

With the four men being occupied by your every hole and touch, there is a twisted symphony of dominance and submission that mingles with their carnal lust. Their affectionate praise and derogatory enunciating to you intensifies your heightened libido, while your depravity desires for them to corrupt you with their intoxication it had dearly missed.

“Fuck, baby, you’re squeezing me. You’re going to cum, yeah?” Jay rasps, gripping the flesh of your bum with his nails, causing indents to your skin as he presses them, his thrusts remaining vigorous as though he intends to obliterate you. “You always get so fucking wet. Squirt for me again.”

And you do, your screams and moans being muffled by Sunghoon’s shaft as he fucks you deeply until he reaches your throat, using you like his fleshlight. Your orgasm crashes down on you for the ninth time, your cunt spasming around Jay as you squirt profusely, while at the same time, Heeseung’s cock is spurting with his cum, making a mess all over your hand.

Jake, who has been trying to attain his orgasm, feels frustrated by the fact that your anal hole does nothing to help him, and so he withdraws from your now-gaping hole, only to shove his thick girth into your cunt that remains squirting.

“Dude!” Jay groans, throwing his head to the back in frustration while you gasp at the abrupt intrusion that sends your already-stretched cunt a blistering pain. “I just told you─”

“Shut up. Either her pussy or your virgin hole.” Jake snaps at him, groaning at the sensation of your walls vacuuming him. “Don’t fucking test me.”

“Damn. Are you sure you’re not gay?” Sunghoon manages to make a wit despite approaching his climax as he uses your mouth like the way he uses your pussy, causing you to roll your eyes to the back. 

Jake scoffs, unfazed by the question, before he rams his cock into you harder while you feel him hitting your cervix deliciously, which sends you into a new blissful euphoria. “I don’t fucking care. As long as there’s a hole, I’ll fuck into it.”

It isn’t long until Sunghoon has finally dumped his cum into your throat, forcing you to swallow every drop before he withdraws from you. Your breathing is ragged, with your chest heaving up and down from every exertion. A breathy moan escapes you as Jay and Jake get frenzied in the way they fuck your weeping cunt.

“Can we─” You pause as soon as Heeseung replaces Sunghoon, standing in front of you with his cock going erect once more. You whine as he teases you with the head of his cock, giving you a light slap on the corner of your lips. “Can we take a break after this?”

“My beloved, I don’t think you understand what you’ve just started.” Heeseung says softly, his fingers brushing away your strands from your sticky face, and his gesture is a deception you recognise. “We’re going all the way, no stopping. It’s what you get after leaving us.”

Before the daybreak dawns, you have already expeditiously prepared for your departure once more, albeit it isn’t permanent as your purpose is solely to avoid them for as long as you can, especially after what happened a few hours ago before all of you finally passed out in your room.

Hence, the reason why they wake up to find you nowhere in your own apartment, having been aroused by an odd feeling of stark coldness before realising that it derives from your sudden absence. Instinctively, they panic at the thought of you abandoning them once more, and their devastation returns when one of them spots a pink sticky note on the coffee table.

‘Surely, you guys know the way out the same way you got in without invitation. Since you got what you wanted last night, stay away from me this time, and I mean it.’

The devastation is eclipsed by resentment, wondering what went wrong when last night was nothing but pure bliss with you, which they haven’t felt in a long time, so they can’t understand why and how your mind that is filled with such complexity works.

“We should stay until she gets back.” Jake suggests, his eyes glinting with hope as he stares at his gloomy best friends. “She can’t stay outside all day till night time.”

“She’s changed, Jake, so yes, she can. We can’t underestimate her.” Heeseung heaves a sigh, masking his disappointment as he doesn’t wish for them to see his weak moment. “We should leave, and Jake, undo the hack shit you did to her door.”

“Let’s give her some time to think.” Jay voices out his opinion despite feeling displeased with himself. “We’ll come back for her in a few days or so. She can’t avoid us forever.”

“I don’t want her to hate us anymore.” Sunghoon murmurs, his demeanour turning crestfallen, a rare display. “I can’t afford to lose her—Ah, fuck it. I’m not going to lose her. I’ll lock her up somewhere if I have to.”

“We all can’t afford to lose her, Hoon.” Heeseung says, wearing a grim countenance. “We’ll be damned if we ever do, which is why we must fix what we broke properly this time.”

Despite their differences, their unwavering devotion to you is something that they have in common, which derives from the feelings they have always harboured for you, even after you departed from their lives. Feelings that are beyond platonic as well as the affection that is only reserved for you, and no matter their prominent Casanova reputation in the past, no one has ever made them feel so deeply until you.

Sure, it started out as infatuation that stemmed from their preying on you in order to corrupt you, but eventually that infatuation turns something so profound and darker that passed beyond the borderline of obsession, and unbeknownst to you, you made them far more dangerous than they originally were before.

They would have killed for you if you had asked them to. They would have done anything for you, anything, no matter the price. All they wanted was for you to stay by their side until the end. Hence, after learning of your departure, it drove them to the brink of their sanity, just stark madness.

It was even worse when they didn’t find out directly from you but from their trusted apprentices, also known as the now-leaders of Devil’s Knights. It was indeed an upheaval night of rage and betrayal.

--------

“Jungwon, you might want to rethink this. It isn’t too late to back out.” Riki murmured lowly to his best friend, whose eyes hardened with such resolve as they stared straight ahead at specific individuals. “This is definitely a bad idea.”

It had been only a day since you left, but Jungwon felt terribly awful for the now-ex leaders upon seeing how the long distance they forced themselves to establish in order to give you space disheartened their spirits and the fact that they had no knowledge of your planned departure. Jungwon felt that it wasn’t right to keep them in the dark any longer, and he doubted that they wouldn’t ever find out about you.

“If they ever plan to kill us after this, trust me when I say that I’ll be doing them a favour by killing you first instead.” Sunoo whispered hotly to Jungwon, his foxy-like eyes glaring into Jungwon’s face, seeming to amuse two of the leaders ahead while the other two maintained austere demeanours. Sunoo continued to express his annoyance to his best friend. “Seriously, do you even realise that you’re asking for a death wish by coming here?”

Jungwon only grimaced in response, but he did reevaluate on this matter several times for the past days, and he came to a conclusion that they must be alerted about this matter post haste, never mind the fact that he might be skinned alive. Sunoo and Riki had implored him even before they came to the palace, and both of them vehemently intended to keep their words, which they had promised you. They might be as detrimental as the leaders, but they were a man of their words.

“You said you got news to tell us, so don’t keep us waiting.” The three of them flinched at the Sunghoon’s flinty tone, prompting them to cease whatever they were doing as they diverted their attention to him.

Jungwon discreetly clenched his fist, swallowing down a lump in his throat while mentally preparing himself, his sharp eyes betraying none of the turmoil within. “It’s about Y/N.” He starts off, his voice coming out strong. “We came over to her place and told her everything.”

“What was her response? Has she decided to forgive and return to us?” Heeseung raised his eyebrow inquisitively, his stance displaying an avid interest while his eyes flickered with longing that made the Jungwon inwardly wince.

“Not exactly, but we brought Beomgyu to her, and as expected, the bastard didn’t apologise to her.” Sunoo answered for Jungwon, masking his nervousness with his usual quirk, his lips forming a crooked smile. “She punched him after he insulted her.”

“That’s our girl.” Sunghoon’s tone was filled with such pride and affection for you, his lips curving into a smirk as he imagined how good you punched Beomgyu.

Jay, who had been silently studying their body language and examining the contortion in their faces with penetrating eyes, was acutely aware that the three of them were hiding something from them, especially after knowing them for years. 

“You’re hiding something.” Jay’s stern statement seemed to intensify the foreboding atmosphere in the living room. His dour countenance shaken them inwardly. “Fess up, or you won’t be allowed to leave.”

Sunoo and Riki exchanged wary glances before they looked at Jungwon, whose demeanour remained unchanged, and they knew that there was no changing his mind.

“Y/N isn’t here anymore. She left Seoul yesterday.” Jungwon finally revealed the truth, his eyes carefully examining the expressions plastered on their faces. “

“What do you mean she left Seoul?” Heeseung re-emphasised the question rather slowly, but they could sense the danger lurking beneath his treading words.

“I meant, she left Seoul permanently. She won’t be coming back.” Jungwon elaborated, nearly rambling as the tension was palpable. “I just thought of telling you this before any of you decided to go over to her house─”

“And you thought it was a good fucking idea to tell us now?!” The three of them were caught off guard by Jake’s raging outburst, and they knew that they were fucked up because Jake had never shown and directed his wrath towards them for as long as they could recall.

“Wait! We can explain!” Just as Sunoo intended to plead, Jake marches over in an attempt to lunge for Jungwon and give him a good punch in the face, but Jay immediately stepped forward and grabbed Jake before things could turn into a nasty brawl.

Despite brimming the same ire, Jay remained composed, a muscle pulsing in his jaw as he held Jake back while the latter was seeing red. “Calm down! Punching Jungwon or any of them isn’t going to do anything, let alone bring her back!” Jay barked at Jake, who easily broke free from his deadly clutch.

“But they kept this from us when they should’ve told us straight away! And now she’s gone!” Jake was practically seething, veins protruding in his neck and eyes glaring heatedly that could probably make anyone outside of their circle wet their pants. His knuckles were painted white by how tight he clenched his fist, mastering self-control when he catches Heeseung’s stern eyes, a silent message for him to restrain himself.

“I agree with Jake.” Sunghoon added in, his tone remaining impassive, but the emotions in his eyes were storming with both anger and devastation at the revelation. His eyes hardened. “The three of you already know how important she is to us, and yet you didn’t bother to let us know earlier. You fucking idiots.”

“In our defence, we were simply respecting Y/N’s wish! We even gave our word to her!” Sunoo retorted, his once-witty disposition molten by vehemence defensiveness, subtly moving forward to embody a barrier between Jake and Jungwon. “She even pleaded with us, as she didn’t want any of you to know.”

“She knew that you wouldn’t allow her to leave.” Riki added, his dark eyes conveying a knowingness to them. He clenched his jaw, feeling a surge of protectiveness to defend in your honour. “I respect you as my leaders and friends, but don’t you dare blame her for her decision to leave. She deserved better after what happened.”

“You damn right, we wouldn’t have allowed her to leave.” Jake snarled coldly at them, his eyes blazing with intense conviction. “Now tell us. Where did she go?”

“We can’t tell you.” Sunoo’s answer only seemed to fuel Jake’s rage, prompting Jay to curb the latter as he embodied a barrier between them.

“What the fuck do you mean by that?!” Jake gritted his teeth, his outburst earning him a brief glare from Jay, which he merely ignored.

“We can’t tell you, because we genuinely have no idea where she decided to go.” Riki said, his tone sounding eerily calm, as does his demeanour, while his eyes displaying stark sincerity. “Again, she knew that if she had told us, you would force the answer out of us.”

Jungwon heaved a sigh as he stepped out of Sunoo’s shadow, having had enough of this prolonged confrontation and tantrum. “But she did mention that it was where she had always dreamed of travelling to.”

“As if that information would help us.” Jake scoffed, and despite his rage, they could see the devastation racking through him from the devastating revelation of your departure. “You know what? Fuck this, and fuck you. I’ll just find her myself.”

“Jake, wait─” Heeseung called out for Jake, but the latter was too caught up with the tempestuous emotions within him as he grabbed his coat from the armchair before storming his way out of the living room.

“The three of you could’ve tried stopping her.” Sunghoon uttered, a sombre casting shadow across his features. “Then maybe she would’ve changed her mind about leaving.”

“I don’t think it would make any difference.” Sunoo shook his head, his lips pressing together thinly while a fleeting melancholy flickered in his gaze. “Even if she already knew the truth from us, there was nothing that could change her mind about leaving.”

“I’m sorry.” Jungwon muttered, his eyes turning crestfallen as he looked at the three now-ex leaders before locking eyes with Jay, whose eyes hardened with emotions he couldn’t fathom. “We’re sorry for not trying harder to convince her to stay.”

Jay looked away from them with a clenched jaw. “Yeah, I’m sorry too.”

--------

From that moment forth, things were never the same. Living in the palace felt daunting to them without your presence that used to enliven the dull, imposing palace. Their once-unbreakable comradeship between each other had palpable tension, and there were moments where they blamed each other for your departure, pointing blame at one another’s flaws they made towards you in all of the times they had treated you.

But at the end of the day, they knew their own selves were to blame. After the revelation from the three new leaders, days bled into agonising weeks, and before they knew it, two months had passed and they knew that life must go on, even without you by their side.

Despite being utterly devastated by your departure, to which each of them struggled and coped differently, they decided to push aside their ego and cooperate with one another to devise a plan, which was to learn of your current location first before proceeding to another stage.

A sense of normalcy befell the four best friends as they tried everything in their power to find you, and even Jake tried to track you down by recalling the tracker he actually had chipped in your phone, but his hope was crushed when he couldn’t detect your location as you had changed your phone and contact.

They did have some thoughts about going over to your parents and asking about you, but they couldn’t face your mother after her infidelity involving their fathers, so they held some grudges against her. Hence, they coerced Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki to ask your parents instead, to which they, of course, begrudgingly did, only to receive disappointment by the fact that your parents had no idea either.

It hurt them as you seemed to have carefully planned this that not even your parents knew about which state you went to, because did you hate them that much?

Afterwards, their motivation deteriorated, and they proceeded on with their lives as they also needed to focus on their careers in respective fields in relation to their degrees.

Seven long months have passed, but their longing for you only intensified in the most excruciating way, and it was killing them more than it should despite their miraculous ability to simulate a coequal facade that displayed their cold detachment in front of the others except towards each other.

There were moments when they wanted to give up and cease mapping possibilities of where you might be, until their hope rekindled.

--------

“Hold the fuck up. You mean to tell us that after seven months, you finally remembered the one crucial detail of her that we could’ve used to our advantage back then?” Jake nearly growled out, his dark eyes glaring into Sunghoon's, whereas the male was completely undeterred by the fact that he could be in the path of his best friend’s wrath.

“Don’t put the blame on me. I had many things going on in my mind back then.” Sunghoon defended himself, shooting him a scowl as he remained leisurely seated on the couch. “Besides, it’s only a maybe. We’re not even sure if she really went to Milan, so we can’t make any rash decisions right now.”

“Sunghoon’s right.” Heeseung concurred, earning him a glare of disbelief from Jake, to which Heeseung reciprocated with a pointed look. “As much as I want her back, we need to think rationally, Jake. We have already established our careers here, and we can’t toss all of our hard work away just like that.”

“We can just utilise our annual leaves or even unpaid leaves, I don’t care. I’d rather take the risk than to wait around here any longer,” Jake retorted vehemently, his resolution blazing in his eyes. “This is our Y/N we’re talking about. She’s the─” He paused, nearly whimpering as he looked away from their eyes. “She’s the love of my life.”

There was a shift in the air, evoking such poignancy from them as they went silent for a brief moment. Jay eyed his best friends, hating how uncharacteristically dejected they looked once again, and so he knew what he must do, thanks to Sunghoon.

“Who are you texting?” Heeseung inquired, watching Jay with calculated eyes as the latter was focused on his phone.

“My cousin. He lives in Milan. Thanks to Sunghoon, we have a lead, and at least it’s better than nothing.” Jay said while his fingers were working their way on the phone screen as he got immersed in texting his cousin from his father’s side. “He’s online, by the way. Since he has resources and connections, he is more than willing to help us out, so all we have to do now is wait.”

“Wait?” Jake scoffed in disbelief, his patience running dangerously thinly, as evident in his countenance. “There is no more waiting! Tell your cousin to speed up, or is he too incompetent─”

“Jake.” Heeseung snapped coldly, his tone reverberating throughout the living room, and they knew that he meant business. “Enough of your shit. You need to blow off some steam.”

“I second that.” Sunghoon feigned coughing, to which Jake cast a withering glare before he finally took off with Heeseung’s advice.

Not even moments later when Jay’s phone rang, garnering their attention to him as he quickly answered an incoming call from a certain cousin. Jay raised his finger at them, pressing his phone against his ear as he moved away from them while they resumed minding their business in the living room, assuming that Jay was on a call with someone else.

It took Jay awhile before he finally returned to Heeseung and Sunghoon with the look on his face earning inquisitive eyebrows raised from both.

“You look a little too happy. Why? Your daddy finally promoted you to take over his business?” Sunghoon’s tone dripping with mockery went under-appreciated by Jay, as the latter was too preoccupied by the hope that bloomed pleasantly in his chest.

“I was on a call with my cousin.” Jay revealed, which piqued their full interest, leaning their bodies slightly forward. A smirk touched Jay’s lips while his eyes darkened with a familiar danger. “Well, it looks like our angel is right where we thought she would be.”

--------

Frankly, Jay assumed that the chances of his cousin tracking your precise location in Milan were low, but much to his delightful surprise, his cousin turned out to be your acquaintance, and yet the thought of another male, even if he was his cousin, displeased him greatly.

Nevertheless, the universe seemed to be working in their favour at the time, so after settling their respective businesses in regards to their careers, to which they found their solution, they finally embarked on a new journey as well, and their only shared goal is to get you back, no matter what it takes.

Two days granted you less than expected for you to ruminate over the licentious encounter you had with them, the ones you thought you could escape from. The rational part of you has been incessantly rebuking you for betraying your resolution, which you thought was adamantine, but your depravity is satiated with their compulsive intoxication that felt like it breathed you to life.

The erotic recollection precipitously surfaces in your mind, prompting you to drink your smoothie aggressively while warmth weaves across your cheeks. Oh, yeah, you enjoyed it more than you should. You would never admit this to them, but they fucked you better than the last time they did, and you know that it has something to do with one of your twisted fantasies of being fucked by masked men.

Shaking your head at the recollection, you proceed to exit the washroom and head back to your table where your best friends are seated for refreshments in the cafe after an hour or so of you accompanying them to shop.

Although you have regained your full vitality, you occasionally limp whenever you walk—well, more like you feel your knees buckling underneath you before you quickly steady yourself. If your best friends have noticed it, then they are doing a great job at closing both eyes to it.

As you slide over to your seat, you pretend to be engrossed in their conversation while your mind drifts off to them, and questions begin to linger in your head, including their sudden yet mysterious detachment.

Though you are thankful that they weren’t outside and inside of your apartment, you can’t help but be curious, wondering if they finally decided to leave you alone for good after the note you left for them to read or if they are busy with their other pursuits, such as careers. Surely, they should already have landed their respective careers despite wielding immense wealth that could probably last for generations.

You ignore the growing ache in your chest, refusing to acknowledge the familiar longing for them. This is exactly what you wanted — for them to leave you for good, but needles seem to be endlessly piercing through your bleeding heart, and the only way to stop this unabating maelstrom within you is to curb your ego and admit to yourself that you still want them.

You clench your fist that is resting on your thigh, embittered by the fact that you are once again thrown into a dilemma with your emotions tangled in a web. When your eyes shift to your best friends, something pulls at the strings in your heart as you dispiritedly wonder whether or not they will be revolted at you like they once were if you vent out your repressing feelings to them.

“Y/N, a penny for your thoughts?” Jennifer’s voice breaks through the rumination you are in, pulling you back into the bleak reality. Your eyes lock with Jennifer, who is sitting across from you and whose eyes show genuine concern. “You keep spacing out, and I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so stressed since─” She pauses, grimacing as she doesn’t wish to trigger you. “Well, you know.”

You bite down your lip, your eyes shifting elsewhere other than their curious yet concerned eyes, contemplating whether to let them know, but you trust them and no doubt that they will support you.

A sigh leaves your lips. “Something happened two nights ago.” And so you begin to unravel every piece, not missing out any details while they surprisingly listen without interrupting you, and just as you expect, genuine shock that laces the anger is written across their features, whereas Jennifes doesn’t look as shocked, almost as if she knows something, but you brush it off.

Of course, you also include the fact that you slept with them, but not into depth, and by that, you mean the part where you actually have a twisted fantasy about getting fucked by masked men. You don’t want to potentially aggravate the situation, especially when they look a little less appalled.

As soon as you finish, you clasp your hands together on the table as you look down, unable to muster the courage to look at the possible revulsion on their countenance, just as you feel towards yourself. So much for betraying your own resolve.

“You girls probably hate me for going against my word.” You mutter, your eyes hardening as your mind is once again your enemy, rebuking you incessantly. “I know I can’t blame the alcohol entirely.”

“We don’t hate you, Y/N.” Wonyoung, who has been sitting next to you, reaches out to grab your slightly trembling cold hand in her grasp, prompting you to lift your head up slowly to meet her kind eyes. “If you think that we’re going to condemn and shame you, then you’re wrong. I mean, yes, we’re shocked and in disbelief that they somehow managed to find you here, but honestly, our feelings don’t matter. I think I can say for Karina and Jen that we no longer give a damn about the ex-leaders.”

“Plus, we’ve already known that they were not entirely responsible for what happened a year ago.” Karina seems to be treading with her words carefully as she examines your face. “Wony’s right. Our feelings don’t matter when it comes to this, but what matters most is your feelings. You told us the details, but you never really told us about how you’re feeling.”

You can feel every bit of your once steely resolve crumbling as you so desperately cling onto those bits. “I don’t know what to feel. All my emotions are going haywire.” You tell them sincerely, your eyes turning crestfallen. “I know I said that I wanted to wipe the slate clean and never looked back to my past, but now that they’re here, I don’t know what to do.” You continue to pour out bits of your pent-up emotions, your face appearing in such distress as you run your fingers through your hair. “What if they come back again? Should I pretend to ignore their existence? Should I hurt them with words?”

The three ladies exchange meaningful glances before Jennifer takes initiative as she leans her body forward with heedful attention, her stern yet kind eyes ensnaring you. “We’re in no position to tell you what to do, but we can only advise you to follow your heart’s desires.”

“But I can’t. I don’t want to.” You say, frustration bubbling within you while devastation storms in your gaze. “If I follow what my heart desires, then I’ll be betraying my own promises, and I don’t want any toxicity in my new life here. I’ve had enough of that. I deserve better.”

“Yes, you deserve so much better, but Y/N,” Karina pauses, her hesitation is obvious in the way she looks at you. “Do you still love them?”

The one mistake you make is the fact that you hesitate as soon as the question leaves her lips. After a couple beats of silence, you decide to respond, but the tremor in your voice is palpable. “No, I don’t. I stopped loving them after what happened.”

“A year later, and you still suck at lying.” Jennifer points out rather amusingly. “I love you, but you gotta stop being in denial.”

“I’m not in denial.” You retort vehemently, shooting her a scowl. “I meant what I said. I don’t love them.”

“And I’m getting married, so we’re both liars, then.” Wonyoung remarks, raising an eyebrow at you. “We’re not buying any of your words, Y/N.”

“Come on. Just admit it.” Karina presses, and you can feel the last of your patience stretching so thinly. “Why are you so afraid of admitting it?”

Alas, something inside of you finally snaps, your eyes going ablaze with unrestrained vehemence of ire that blends with the sheer vulnerability, taking them by surprise. “Fine, you want to know why I’m so afraid? It’s because if I admit it, then it’ll be the end of me, and I can’t allow that to happen.” Your voice shakes palpably with a torrent of emotions. “I lost myself once, all because I was so desperate and foolishly hoping for them to reciprocate what I felt for them. I refuse to lose myself for another time.”

Jennifer’s eyes soften. “Y/N─”

You shake your head at her, looking away from them as you quickly blink the accumulating tears that glisten in your eyes. “I don’t want to love again, which is why I’ve told you girls that I had no interest in dating. I’ll only hurt myself by my own expectations.”

“We’re sorry, Y/N.” Karina tells you sincerely, her tone sounding apologetic. “We knew how much they meant to you.”

Wonyoung reaches out to squeeze your shoulder in a comforting support. “We respect your decision in whatever you choose to do. Just do what you think is right and best for you.”

Jennifer offers you a small smile that seems to temporarily ease your nerves. “We’re here to support you, Y/N, even if you choose to return to them.”

“Thank you, girls, really.” You cast them a faint smile, feeling a tad overwhelmed by their reaffirmation support. A sigh leaves your lips before the familiar steel of resolve returns to your demeanour as you finally align with your rationality. “Now I know what to do next.”

Even if it means breaking your own heart that remains beating in a familiar longing cadence for them.

After sending Karina and Wonyoung back to their hotel apartment, Jennifer, who thankfully is the only one in your circle to pass her driver’s license, drives you back to yours, as she has already told you beforehand that she intended to have a sleepover at your crib after so long.

Plus, it is a great opportunity for you to desist from ruminating in your dilemma since Jennifer has generously bought two finest bottles of wine, which you were shocked to learn about the prices, but nevertheless, Jennifer wasn’t deterred in the slightest. Perks of being a nepo baby, you think.

“So, I was thinking that maybe we could watch gossip girls, and yes, I know I’ve watched it before, but you haven’t,” Jennifer continues to blabber, even as you two board the elevator to head to your floor, for which you are grateful as you feel the last of your fraying nerves ebbing away.

It isn’t long when the two of you finally reach the floor of your apartment, but as you are nearing your unit, your steps feel heavier in a trice and dreadful turmoil within you, to which you have no idea why. With your slightly trembling hand, you search for the key card in your purse while Jennifer is in the middle of texting on her phone, completely oblivious to the mounting tension in the air.

You nearly fumble with tapping the key card on the smart lock, earning you an inquisitive eyebrow raised from Jennifer as her attention shifts from her phone, to which you simply ignore as you slowly push down the handle, allowing Jennifer to enter first.

“First things first, I’m feeling hungry, so I’m ordering food.” Jennifer says as she busily removes her heels to place them in the shoe compartment before grabbing for the house shoes, which you bought a few extra in case there are visitors. She casts a questioning look over her shoulder as you switch the buttons on, prompting illumination to cast a glow in your apartment before the two of you advance further. “Do you want any?”

Just as you intend to give her your answer, Jennifer stops dead in her tracks, looking genuinely staggered while her eyes are staring straight ahead, compelling you to shift your attention to the same axis as hers, and just like that, you completely understand why there is a persistent turmoil within you.

Although you feel a tad staggered, annoyance and anger seize over you, as evident in the way your icy eyes are glaring, because in your line of sight are the very individuals whom you thought had departed from your life after not seeing them for two days.

“Oh, um, I’m just gonna─” It painfully astounds you to see Jennifer being out of her assertive element as you hear a distinct crack in her voice and the way she casts you a look with a small smile that looks awful-like a grimace. “I’ll see myself in the guest room while you─er─” She gestures her hand in a moving motion between you and them.

Upon receiving a deadly silence emanating from your brooding figure, Jennifer barrels in the direction of the guest room, her legs a guiding memory, now leaving you alone with them.

As the frigid silence persists that weighs heavily in the air, you take this moment to study their stark appearance under these illuminations, which you didn’t have the chance to two nights ago with the exception of two of them whom you had seen at the Milan fashion week, and as you do, you can feel your heart breaking bit by bit that is taking its splintering effect on your steely resolve. 

Jake, who is nearest to you, captures your initial attention, and in the way his body language seems to insinuate his self-restraint in laying a hold of you since he is just within an arm's reach if he takes another step. His raven locks look trimmed but are still familiarly irresistible, to which your fingers are itching to run through them. You can feel the strings in your heart pulling painfully as you notice how he seems to have lost weight on his face as well as his eyes that were once gleaming with wonted mirth and mischief have lost their sparks.

Sunghoon is standing by the balcony with his hands tucked in the pockets of his jeans, his posture displaying such nonchalance that parallels his dour countenance, but even you can discern the familiar longing in his eyes amplified at the moment your eyes lock with his, betraying his impassiveness. His raven strands fall over his thick brows, tempting you to brush them away like you once did. As your eyes roam around his features to scrutinise, you wonder when was the last time he ever smiled genuinely.

A few distance away, Jay’s figure seems imposing as he stands directly across from you with his lower back leaning against the couch’s armrest and one hand tucked inside the pocket of his jacket. His sharp flinty eyes compel you, locking you in place with his sharp flinty eyes, but you can see that his wintry facade melts, causing his features to soften with a familiar tenderness reserved only for you. 

When your eyes flicker over to Heeseung, who is leaning behind against the wall next to the balcony with his arms folded across his chest, your heart that has been beating in a familiar cadence seems to amplify. His mere presence is enough to dominate the entire room while his silence is resounding. His hair is in the gorgeous shade of pink, and he looks amazing, tempting you to run your fingers through his locks. Like a siren’s serenade, he easily ensnares you with his eyes that hold unfathomable emotions.

They look devastatingly as handsome as they were, maybe even more, but there is a certain ambience they exude that corresponds to one another.

Sensing a gradual shift in your demeanour, you strengthen the walls you built to protect your mended heart that coarsen a callousness in your facade, refusing for them to allow just the slightest glimpse of your vulnerability that derives from the feelings your weeping heart still harbours.

You adopt an intimidating stance, your arms folded below your chest while your eyes hold a glaring detachment, displaying your unbending resolution, which is to drive them away from your life for good.

“I thought I made it clear in that note when I told you to stay away from me.” You start off, your flinty tone sounds awfully foreign to them, just as you look at them now, and they hate it. “You already got what you wanted two nights ago, so what do you want from me?”

“Don’t you still get it? We want you.” Jay speaks for his best friends, but even the determination coming out strong in the way he enunciates their correlative intention is not resonating enough to coax your tenacity.

You click your tongue in annoyance, your icily glaring eyes are in sheer disbelief. “If that’s what you came here for, then you’ve just wasted your time.”

“Why are you being like this?” Jake voices out, drawing your attention to his eyes that glisten with emotions despite his composure while your heart clenches in return. “Please, sweetheart, we want you to return to us. That’s all we want.”

“Bolt of you to assume that I would return to you.” You scoff, rolling your eyes as you maintain your established resolve that is teetering dangerously. “You can’t just waltz back into my life after what happened.”

“We didn’t stop searching for you after you left, even when we thought there would be no hope.” Heeseung says quietly, but the gravity in his tone resonates with you, prompting you to meet his dark intent eyes. “We went through lengths just to get to where you were. We came to Milan solely for you.”

“Well, that’s on you, then. I didn’t ask for you to do all of that.” There is a certain edge in your tone, adding to the rising tension that is nearly palpable between you and them. “I didn’t even ask for you to search for me when the whole purpose was to get away from the very place that brought me misery.”

“You’re right, but for you, we would do anything. You should’ve known this, princess.” Sunghoon leans away from the balcony to saunter forward as he looks at you sternly. “We would do anything to get you back.”

This time, you fail to restrain your brewing ire, your arms falling to your sides as you clench a fist. “Do I look like I want to return to any of you?” You ask rhetorically with a derisive chuckle leaving your lips. “If you’re here to force me to accept you back, then I suggest you leave now. Don’t─” You pause, swallowing a painful lump in your throat as you muster the courage before forcing your voice with conviction. “Don’t make me hate you more than I already do. So please, leave.”

“I don’t understand you, Y/N.” Sunghoon displays his frustration towards you, his eyes hardening. “A year ago, Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki already explained to you the truth, so what more do you want in order for you to return─”

Something inside of you finally snaps. “What I want is for you to fucking leave!” You raise your voice, your ire mingling with exasperation releases in a torrent of outburst as you continue. “I want you to leave me alone for good! I’m already happy with my life, and for once, everything that has happened in my life ever since I left Seoul is working out for me!” You refrain the tears that burn the back of your eyes from revealing your vulnerability. “I won’t allow any of you to destroy that─ to destroy me again.”

“Destroy you again?” Jay scoffs in disbelief, leaning away from the sofa. “I don’t understand why you even thought that we destroyed you when all we’ve done was show you that there was more to life than holding yourself back from unleashing what your heart truly desired.”

“Wasn’t that your goal when you decided to prey on me in the first place?” You bite back, your jaw locking while your chin wobbles with anger that overweighs the hurt as you recall. “You weren’t sincere with me and did it for the sake of your twisted tradition. You influenced me to become the worst version of myself when I should’ve been good─”

“But you were. You were always good, even to us, beloved.” Heeseung cuts you off, his mellow tone is so oddly overpowering that even you feel weakened, especially in the way his softened eyes are looking at you. “Forget about the preying. If we weren’t sincere with you, then we wouldn’t fly across the globe to find you.”

“Please, sweetheart.” Jake takes a daring step forward, causing you to back away while you ignore the disappointment flicker in his gaze. “We also came here to ask for your forgiveness, so please give us another chance.”

A shaky breath leaves your lips. “I forgive you.” You declare with the utmost sincerity, sparking hopes in their chest, but your face shows no traces of reconciliation. “Now you got what you came for, so leave me alone.”

“We thought you’d accept us back, and we thought you’d be fine with us now.” Sunghoon’s frustration is more than apparent in the way he speaks to you, reminding you the times when he was insufferable. “Two nights ago, you wanted us, and you let us fuck you. Is this your way to play mind games with us?”

“It’s true I wanted you to fuck me that night, but it was nothing too personal. Can you blame me for not getting someone to fuck me as good as you did?” Piercing mockery laces your tone, aligning with the cruelty that forms a smirk on your tinted lips as you revel in the way they look evidently hurt and angry at the thought of you sleeping with someone else. ”Don’t be mad, now. It was only fair that I do the same thing like you did to me in the past. I mean, you did prey on me to use me and get me to be your personal slut.”

“You’re so cruel, baby.” Jay mutters, his steely demeanour melting into something that displays a rare vulnerability. “You have no idea how miserable we felt after you left. You didn’t even give us some heads up, unlike you did with Sunoo, Jungwon, and Riki.”

“You have no right to feel miserable, especially when you weren’t the ones who received such dehumanising words thrown at you every single day!” You retort vehemently, and this time, tears prickle in your eyes at the recollection. “So now you’re blaming me when you could’ve come and told me the truth yourself about the entire thing instead of them!”

Sunghoon scoffs in disbelief, his chiselled jaw tightening afterwards while his eyes level with your glaring ones. “But would you even have listened to us, let alone seen us?”

“But you could’ve tried! If you wanted me that bad, then you should’ve tried harder!” You hold back a sob, your voice trembling as you pour out the things you held back for a long time. “But no, you didn’t even bother to reach out to me for days when I thought that you were the ones entirely responsible for what happened!”

“We were busy searching for Taehyun when we thought he was the mastermind before we finally found out about Beomgyu.” Heeseung saunters forward in your direction, intending to comfort you as the hurt written all over your face hits him in the gut. Heeseung exchanges glances with his best friends, who give him collective nods. “It’s not only that, but we felt guilty because we didn’t listen to you in the first place to delete them, so we couldn’t face you, and we doubted that you wanted to see our faces.”

You hear him, you hear his reasoning, and a part of you knows that you can’t blame him for their doubts in the first place, as things back then were taut with agonising tension. Your sensibility is convincing you that they were being considerate and didn’t want to aggravate the situation back then. Maybe if communication was anchored between you and them, then you would not have felt as deeply wounded as you were.

The four of them observe you, noticing that you seem to grapple with your emotions and how things got escalated. They wish to comfort you and embrace you like they used to, but they heard you. They heard the clarity in your hatred for them.

You blink your tears away, trying your utmost not to crumble in front of them after all the efforts you built yourself into becoming the better and stronger version of yourself, unlike the old Y/N Kang.

Rallying your frayed nerves, you muster the courage to look at them dead in the eyes, and yet, your eyes are conveying such a plea that renders them devastated once more. “I’m tired, and it’s been a long day. I don’t want to keep arguing with you like this, so please.” Your shaky voice betrays your tenacity. “Please leave.”

Reluctancy holds them back, and they so desperately want to fix everything they have broken, but they know that they can’t do it just overnight. Jake dares himself to try to reach out to you, but the sound of footsteps garners their attention to Jennifer, who, unbeknownst to you, has heard everything, ambling into the living room.

Jennifer’s presence provides you little comfort, but it is enough for you to lean slightly towards her moral support. Her icily glaring eyes as she stares at them convey a silent message to the four to leave, and it is final.

Eventually, they have no choice but to concede, seeing their way out, but as they brush past you, they struggle to fight against their instinctive urges to hold you close. You look away from them while their distinctive cologne infiltrating your senses seems to bring more memories that taunt you in your head.

As soon as the door closes, Jennifer’s austere demeanour melts, replaced by the usual protectiveness and concern for you as she advances towards you. “Y/N─”

“I’m fine, Jen.” You insist strongly, giving her a tight smile before you make your way to the kitchen island. “What I need is that wine you bought.”

It isn’t long until you and Jennifer settle by the kitchen island, silence engulfing both of you that feels painfully foreign, but after what happened just before this, it just doesn’t feel right to resort to normalcy.

As Jennifer places down her empty glass, she bites down her lips, contemplating whether or not to let you know. A sigh leaves her lips as she has decided. “I eavesdropped on you. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. It doesn’t matter either.” You state bluntly, while your nonchalance only makes Jennifer feel sceptical. Your hollow eyes are staring into oblivion. “We’re done for good, anyway.”

“I doubt that. As much as I don’t like them, I know that they’ll come back to you again soon.” Jennifer says, treading with her words carefully.

“Please, Jen, let’s not have a conversation about them. We’re here to have fun and drink away our sorrows.” You chuckle dryly before meeting her concerned eyes. You shoot her a lopsided smile, raising the glass of wine leisurely in the air. “Here’s a toast to my past trying to fuck me up again. Besides, there is nothing better than to drown your heartbreak with wine."

But it doesn’t get better, as their stark absence from your apartment only seems to hurt you instead of relieving you.

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[spideysatan]

i know the rest of the year will be..... eventful, to put it lightly but damn am i stressing over it already

[propertyofwicked]

revenge

she just loves to cause chaos on the timeline, especially with the recent news of her best friends unemployment.

fewtrell!reader x platonic!f1grid smau

masterlist the playlist

yourusername has posted!

liked by landonorris, logansargeant and 75,926 others

yourusername training.

view all 5,421 comments

user1 she really said james vowels sleep with one eye open

landonorris timbers? shivered.

⤷ yourusername keep this attitude up and you're next.

⤷ landonorris who's first?

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user2 uh oh james is gonna reinstate the y/n williams ban

⤷ user3 there was ban? why?

⤷ user2 it was rumoured that james banned her from williams after australia due to a "heated conversation" about alex driving logan's car eek

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⤷ logansargeant and how do you plead alex_albon?

⤷ alex_albon ...guilty, your honour 😔

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yourusername 'wanna make him really jealous, wanna make him feel bad...

tagged: lilyzneimer, logansargeant, oscarpiastri

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user2 get him back lyrics in the caption??? what does it mean???

⤷ user4 'get him back' like enacting revenge on jv?

⤷ user3 i was thinking like she's getting pre-traumatised logan back?

⤷ yourusername perchance. mayhaps. potensh.

⤷ user2 you can't just say perchance??

user5 heavy on the "wanna make him feel bad" huh

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jensonbutton have a good summer break guys!

alex_albon how burnt is he?

⤷ yourusername he's looking a little red....

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⤷ logansargeant nvm i googled it you guys are mean

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yourusername that one unemployed friend on a random tuesday

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell, lilymhe, logansargeant

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yourusername p.s why have i been golfing more than once in the last week what has my life come to?

logansargeant too soon....

⤷ oscarpiastri not soon enough

⤷ logansargeant yo?

⤷ oscarpiastri i meant the joke not your career

lilymhe i love you, i love you. lets never go golfing together again.

⤷ yourusername what about pirate themed mini golf?

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landonorris you should stick to minecraft

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maxfewtrell the day you get good at literally any sport is the day i will stand corrected

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⤷ landonorris gagged.

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user5 all of y/n's friends absolutely violating her golf skills is sending me

⤷ yourusername friends? bro it's my own flesh and blood

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yourusername my favourite animal is lando resisting the urge to get behind the dj booth

tagged: landonorris, maxfewtrell

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user8 tell him to stop resisting.

pietra.pilao you look so pretty 🤍

⤷ yourusername leave my brother, run away with me 🤍

user6 i don't understand how she knows like everyone??

⤷ user3 she's max's sister, but closer to oscar and logan in age so she met them when max was in f4 & f-renault

⤷ maxfewtrell ...much to my dismay

⤷ user4 logan really out here ensuring lando is never far from a fewtrell

⤷ yourusername truly 🙏 you'd think he'd be more grateful...

logansargeant nice shoes....

⤷ yourusername it’s my payment for being a portable friend, therapist, and comedian

⤷ logansargeant comedian is pushing it - pain in my ass, maybe

⤷ yourusername it'll be my foot in there next if u don't stfu

⤷ logansargeant kinky

maxfewtrell that is my 3rd pair of shoes ruined. you owe me.

⤷ yourusername were you not the one shouting "we should do shots!" anytime i came back to the table????

⤷ maxfewtrell doesnt matter. not everyone has rich friends to buy them news shoes when people throw up on them

⤷ yourusername true, not everyone does - but you do??

⤷ maxfewtrell he’s not my friend. we’re lovers.

⤷ pietra.pilao ???

⤷ landonorris ???

⤷ yourusername ???

creds to @/lecomptedelee on twitter for the picture

[pricegouge]

Haul

Part One MDNI

Master list | on ao3

slasher!trucker!141 x reader

series cw: dark fic. major character deaths, rape/noncon

chapter cw: alcohol/drugs mentioned, though reader doesn't partake. up to you if that's for sobriety purposes or not, though most of this chapter takes place in a bar. public nudity. brief, non descriptive mention of animal harm. Let me know if I missed anything!

Like most terrible things in your life, it starts off with a dare. You're on the I-40 somewhere around Seligmen when Ash's fingers drum on the steering wheel of her busted old beater and you know she's got an evil little scheme brewing by the erratic, staccato beat. She turns to you and grins, hair whipping about her in the wind tunnel created by the open windows. "I dare you," she drawls in the same conversational tone she'd used a few states back to initiate a game of I Spy, back when there were colors other than tan and brown, and the occasional smudge of green shrubbery, to spy. "To flash this trucker when we pass him."

Like most terrible things in your life, it starts off with a dare.

You're on the I-40 somewhere around Seligmen when Ash's fingers drum on the steering wheel of her busted old beater and you know she's got an evil little scheme brewing by the erratic, staccato beat. She turns to you and grins, hair whipping about her in the wind tunnel created by the open windows. "I dare you," she drawls in the same conversational tone she'd used a few states back to initiate a game of I Spy, back when there were colors other than tan and brown, and the occasional smudge of green shrubbery, to spy. "To flash this trucker when we pass him."

Bored off your ass after days in the car with not much to do other than reconnect with your old friend and listen to the same band over and over (Ash was… over excited to be on the way to see them), you briefly consider it before taking in the tacky mud flaps - sexy lady silhouette that's been a staple of trashy truckers since before you were born, here X-rayed so you could see her sexy little skeleton as well. 

"No way," you scoff.

"Oh, c'mon," she nods at the same decals you'd already noticed. "Bet he'd enjoy the show."

"Yeah, bet he'd enjoy turning me into a skeleton, too."

"Well, he'd have to catch you first, and I'm an excellent, speedy little driver."

She was, that being the only reason you'd agreed to her hairbrained idea to drive half across the US. When she'd asked if you'd wanted to join her in seeing your favorite band from high school play their farewell tour out in California, you'd envisioned long nights, heart to hearts, deep conversation under starry desert skies, and a great pay off at the end in the form of one last, cathartic hurrah before a quiet, tired drive home. But you hadn't calculated on Ash still being in her party girl phase.

Perhaps you should have known. One of the main reasons you'd fallen off with her post-graduation was because the crowd she'd been migrating towards was only escalating. You were by no means a square, but between landing a nine-to-five and having bills to pay, your rough edges had slowly been whittling away over the years while, it seemed, Ash had remained the exact same Ash she'd always been. You didn't begrudge her that, but neither did you relish pit stops at dive bars every night, nor juvenile dares in broad daylight. Mind, when you were supposed to be sleeping because you'd driven all night after a stop in west Texas had left Ash incapacitated no less. 

Still, the boredom of not having much to talk about with your only companion, and the monotony of the same albums you've been listening to since middle school being played over and over was wearing on you, and despite your exhaustion, a sense of restlessness had crept in somewhere around Flagstaff and wasn't leaving you be. 

"Fine, but you're buying me a drink tonight."

"Are you drinking!?" she hoots, somewhere between excited you're no longer being 'a stick in the mud,' and apprehensive that she wouldn't have a driver lined up at closing time.

"No, but when I inevitably offer to buy someone else one, you're covering it."

Ash scoffs loudly enough to be heard over both the music and the wind, an impressive feat. "Deal, but once he gets a load of them titties, I'm fairly sure Mr. Kenworth here is gonna be dominating your time tonight."

"That's why you're driving quick enough he can't catch us, remember?" you laugh, already reaching up under your shirt to remove your bra.

The car accelerates, the long black trailer stretching past your passenger window as Ash pulls up alongside it. She whoops happily when you unbuckle your belt, blaring the music and hollering along to get your nerves up. There's a pit in your belly, the kind that forms right at the top of a rollercoaster. Your nerves alight, as if in preparation for a fight, skin drawing tight and pebbling into goosebumps. You spare a thought for how hard your nipples are gonna be and laugh perhaps a bit maniacally. Ash turns your nerves to excitement with a rousing set of slaps to your thick thighs. You take a deep breath, release it with a high, distressed whine. Still, you get a leg under you and contort yourself half out the port, Ash's excited shrieking following you out, though soon ripped away by the rushing of the wind around you. Your shirt whips up. Instinctively, you try to shove it down and then nearly roll your eyes at yourself when you realize what you're about to do. The white nose of the truck looms closer, side view mirror reflecting nothing back at you but a darkened cab. It strikes you as odd, what with the sun beating down on you both, hot and undisturbed by cloud nor foliage. It's blazing on your skin despite the wind, scent of the baked tarmac below heavy in your sinuses. Sand pecks against your flesh, abrasive. You hope a big beetle doesn't come smashing into your teeth before all this is done.

You don't have much time to think about it. Ash swats you on your ass and you pull your shirt up, screaming all the while as the tension in your body boils over like a tea kettle. Eyes squeezed shut, you don't notice at first how the truck carries on straight as an arrow. Unaffected. You expect an air horn or something, get none. When you peek, the tint of the truck's window glares apathetically back at you, a dark shroud through which you have no ability to gauge the driver's reaction.

It's Ash who honks first, the tired sounding beeps jolting you back to reality. You feel let down, disappointed. Self-conscious, stupidly. You shrink back on yourself a bit, shirt hiding the bottom half of your face as you slump back toward your seat. Your chest is still exposed, something you only register when - finally - the airhorn knocks you fully on your ass, hand scrambling to cover yourself in front of your friend. 

Completely ignorant of your emotional turmoil, Ash slaps the steering wheel animatedly, cackling and whooping like she's driving a getaway car after a successful heist. The airhorn sounds again and you glance up at the blank window, embarrassment and shame creeping up your throat. You've no clue why it's worse that you can't see the driver; even less of an idea as to why you were kind of hoping for their approval. Especially considering you have it, you think, another short blast of the horn attesting to the driver's pleasure. You force a grin, give a stupid little wave that you instantly regret. You roll up the window despite Ash's old beater having no AC, desperate for some kind of space between you and the truck. 

Brain skipping, trying to keep busy so you don't have to assess the weird pit of disappointment you'd felt, you reach into the footwell in search of your bra, but stop short when you see it dangling from a strap off Ash's finger. "Thanks," you mumble, and then glare daggers at her when she yanks it away quicker than you can grab. She's got that face on again, the mischief making one.

"Don't you dare," you hiss, but she just cackles and sends it flying out the open sunroof. "Ash!" you cry, twisting in your seat so see the lacy little number get caught up in the slipstream of the semi behind you, skirting up over the hood and plastering itself to the window where, quick as a flash, a thick, tattooed arm reaches out the driver's side window to slap the wiper down over it, snaring it against the glass.

The stone in your stomach hardens, sinks lower. Where before you'd felt oddly bereft without the driver's approval, this feels far too intimate, and you urge Ash quicker, turning back forward to watch the miles of open road pass, checking at each mile marker to see how the space between your car and his has grown. His grill glints chrome under the blaring sun, visible for miles. Combined with the tinted windshield, they turn the white cab into a skull, teeth bared and all.

***

The bar Ash chooses sits back from the road down a small slope, as if nestled by the dusty landscape - a hidden chest of glittering incandescent and neon bulbs, oil slick from the assembled nearby trucks painting what remains of the crumbling tarmac aurora. They line the lot on either side, backed up until their trailers overhang the paved lot itself, carving footprints into the hard earth. Between the two lines, the valley of the lot funnels you toward the boisterous building, music and laughter spilling out its seams. 

You'd rolled up the windows when the sun set so you're not quite prepared for the chill that greets you as you step out of the car. Still braless, you check to be sure the dark material of your shirt covers your nipples, but hug your flannel closer to yourself anyway, making a slow turn as you assess the assembled cars. You've been to enough dive bars to know the real warning signs; the get-the-fuck-out-of-dodge-before-you-decide-to-tryand-fight-a-blooded-Nazi kind of signs. Thankfully you don't see much here beyond the standard watch-your-drink-and-don't-let-your-bare-ass-touch-the-toilet-seat kind of vibes so you resign yourself to a night of babysitting, coming around the nose of the car as you bring a cigarette to your lips. 

Ash is giddy with excitement, dragging you along with her hands tucked through your elbow as she whispers excitedly about all the possibilities a dive bar off a forgotten county road in nowhere Arizona might offer. She'd said just a few drinks when she'd suggested going out again tonight, but you already know how that's going to shake out.

"Yeah? You gonna do some blow off the shuffleboard table by the end of the night?" You joke.

"And get sand in my nose? Please," Ash scoffs. "I'll do it off the sink like a normal person." 

You grin, holding the door open for her. "Go ahead and find us a spot, I'm gonna do my dirty deed," you wag the cigarette at her illustratively. 

"Yeah, yeah. Don't take too long or else all the lonely rednecks'll think I'm looking for company." 

You don't remind her she doesn't need to be here if she doesn't want to be. "If you ask pretty they'll take you to the bathroom," you wink instead, flicking your nose. Ash just laughs as she steps through the door. You let it drop behind her, fishing your lighter from your pocket as you step toward the edge of the porch. There's a loud group on your left, smoking more than just tobacco by the smell of it. You don't mind, but neither do you want to partake, so you stay a good distance away, listening in as the loudest of the group tells an animated story about the time he hit a deer and it ran off with his headlight cover. He's not a great story teller, but the assembled group laughs loud enough to drown him out half the time so maybe your perception is skewed.

Beyond them, inside, you can hear the clatter of billiards, and the general din of loosened lips, but outside, it is a cool and still night. You've never been to this part of the country, and you can't help but reflect on how nice it is in these quiet moments without Ash's chatter, or her constant performative nature. It's not that you dislike her, but days of such close proximity after years of barely any contact had certainly been a decision, and you're really started to regret it. Still, it's good to travel, and it's been so long since you've bothered with a bar that you nearly forget how to react when a man sidles up beside you and asks for a light. 

Stocky, handsome, you stammer over some words and extend your lighter, cursing when you realize you should have held the open flame out for him to light his cigarette over. He gives you a grin like he knows what you're thinking, and then exhales his smoke right into your face, destroying any attraction you'd felt for him before he'd even said a word.

You spare him a tight grin and hold your hand out for your lighter back. He holds it out, but gives it a playful little tug when you try to take it from him. "Alright," you gripe at the same moment he relinquishes his grasp, sending your hand dropping aggressively down with the slight force you'd been using. You nod while he just keeps grinning at you and snub out what remains of your cigarette. "Have a good one," you mumble, sliding past him and into the bar.

Ash perches at a small two-top, long neck dangling from her fingers prettily. You slide in across from her and she offers you the second bottle she'd snagged, though accepts easily enough when you shake your head. She's angled toward the room, that demure, but still inviting pose she'd perfected long ago on full display. As predicted, a string of men approach her, though she shoots them all down, giving you commentary on what she's thought of them all when she sends them packing. 

"Too scrawny."

"Smelled like Funyuns."

"I've seen more hair in my shower drain."

You giggle, content to watch her pick on sleazy men all night. Unfortunately her tune changes when return from the restroom a while later to find her flirting with a tall, broad man in a gaiter. She notices you as you draw close and beams at you, waving you closer in a way that suggests 'check this one out'. 

"Who's your friend?" you ask hesitantly, eyeing the big guy all over. He's dressed nice enough for a place like this, work boots and well-fitting jeans that hug his hammies sinfully. He's got on a canvas jacket over a tight thermal, some ink on his left hand you can't quite catch the shape of. The gaiter rubs you wrong, despite its innocuous dark material. Just this side of too sketchy in a place already bordering on it, you imagine there's no good reason a man would hide the bottom half of his face when he's presumably there to imbibe alcohol with his mouth all night. 

"Simon," the man rumbles, voice dark and accented. He extends his right hand to you and you take it, fingers engulfed by his broad, rough palm. In his left he holds a brown bottle, label obscured by his wide grip.

"Simon, this is my friend, Betty," Ash introduces you before you even have a chance. You shoot her a look, obvious enough that even the newcomer catches it.

"Betty?" he asks, eyes darting between the two of you.

"Not my name," you assert, but Ash speaks over you.

"Because she's so delightfully pretty, but so devastatingly boring," she pouts at you. To Simon she says, "Go on, ask her if she wants a drink."

"Can I get you a -?"

"No."

"See? Boring."

You roll your eyes, but don't offer any sort of retaliation besides. You're used to this, and generally unbothered by it. That doesn't mean it's not a pleasant surprise when Simon comes to your defense. "Nothing wrong with being responsible." His eyes are heavy on you, trailing in a way you're not necessarily comfortable with. That doesn't stop you from thanking him.

"Responsible," Ash scoffs. "One beer is still totally legal to drive."

"Quit complaining. Just means you get to have all the fun," you remind her.

"Mm, true," Ash sings. She tilts her bottle against Simon's, but you can't help noticing he gets distracted before the bottle makes it to his lips.

"You guys from around here?"

"Is anyone from here?" you quip, eyeing the assembled lot. They match their trucks outside: heavy, built for long hauls and quick stops at watering holes. 

"Suppose not," Simon admits, his own accent played up for effect. "Where you lot headed, then?"

"L.A.," Ash gushes.

When she doesn't elaborate, you tack on, "Ash's got a modeling gig."

"Really?" Ash smacks Simon playfully on the arm over his offended tone. 

"No," she laughs, "seeing a show. You ever been to L.A.?"

"Been everywhere," Simon shrugs, cryptic.

"You a trucker too, I take it?"

"Don't I look like one?" His accent thickens with every word until even your unlearned ear believes you could pinpoint his exact birthplace - distinctly un-American.

"You ever consider a mullet?" Ash giggles.

Simon looks about to snark something back when the lighter-less man from outside stumbles into his space.

"Hi," he tells the group in general, eyes unfocused before they slide to you. "Wanted to apologize. Think we got off on the wrong foot out there."

You can practically feel Ash brimming with excitement, the fact that both of you are now talking to men not going unnoticed by either of you. Not wanting to find yourself in some cheap motel Fargo sex with her, you make your lack of attraction obvious immediately, voice stern. "All good, man."

"Right," he balks. "Can I buy you a drink to make up for it?"

"Nope."

"Oh. Uh… you driving tonight or something?"

"Just not thirsty."

Across from you, Ash mouths the word 'Betty' at a stone faced Simon.

"Then why are you in a bar?" Lighter-less demands, belligerent. 

"Good question," you turn on Ash, but before she can answer, Simon speaks up.

"Piss off, mate."

"Fuck you," the guy snaps, turning to face the other man. You realize he must not have gotten a good look at him before approaching the group because you see his eyes go wide when he takes in Simon's sheer size.

"Nah, fuck you actually. Piss off."

He doesn't need telling a third time. Lighter-less gives you and Ash a nod and scurries off while Ash rounds on you. 

"And what was wrong with him?"

"Fuckin' rude."

"Are we ever gonna get you laid?"

You've only been on the road with her for two days and have not been actively looking, but you don't bother telling her that. "Only when you finally give in, baby," you croon instead and Ash snorts, already moving on.

"Simon, you any good at darts?"

"No."

"Great! Go bully us into a board using that broad frame of yours and let me win, would ya?"

Something dark passes over Simon's eyes, so quickly you think you might have imagined it when he immediately changes gears, giving Ash a brief nod before skulking away.

"Isn't he fuckin' cute?" Ash hisses at you after he's gone.

"Wouldn't know," you deadpan, covering the bottom half of your face with your hand.

She swats at you. "Oh, come off it. I'm gonna climb him like a tree by the end of the night." You curse to yourself when she sways her hips after him because the worst part is, you don't doubt her.

Simon's at least considerate enough to scrounge up a table by the boards for you, so you have front row seats to the flirt fest the other two partake in. True to his word, Simon lets Ash win three games in a row, each time being rewarded with a slightly more intoxicated girl hanging from his neck. Ash gets touchier the more she drinks, and Simon doesn't seem to mind. Though you find it odd how he rarely reciprocates, content just to let her feel up his considerable pecs and grin down at her like she's being silly. You briefly wonder if he's even into her, until you catch him giving her a congratulatory smack on the ass a little too enthusiastically after her fourth win. He says he's going out for a smoke after that and you leap at the opportunity, grabbing your jacket from the booth and following him out.

"Guess I'll keep our booth occupied," Ash pouts.

"Better, had to scare off a racoon for that thing," you hear Simon rumbling as you lead the way back out onto the porch.

The night's only gotten colder since you've been inside and you're reminded yet again that you're not wearing a bra when you feel the cotton of your shirt chafe against your tight skin. You duck your head in embarrassment as you pull your flannel tighter around yourself, too distracted to notice Simon offering you a cigarette from his pack as you try to remember if you'd been egregiously nipple flaunting back inside. 

"You okay?" Simon grunts as he lights his own smoke and you jolt back to reality, find him with his mask lowered.

"Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. Just chillier than I expected." 

When he pockets his lighter, Simon keeps his cigarette tucked between his lips. Hands freed, he pulls his jacket off and offers it to you before you can get a protest out. His voice is gravelly when he insists you take it and you do, reveling in the body heat still trapped within. It smells vaguely musty, almost like a garage, but you figure that tracks and it's not unpleasant. 

You eye him over as you light your cigarette, not bothering to be all that subtle when you find him watching you just as closely. He's handsome, though you wonder if he keeps his face covered because of the cleft lip or the thick scar that crosses the bridge of his nose, a missing notch giving the slope of it a double ridge. Beneath his coat, he's just as muscled as you'd imagined, heavy texture of his thermal falling into the valley of his pecs nicely. His sleeves are rolled up, revealing more of the ink you'd spotted on his hand - a detailed skull crowned in heavy black swirls which follow the musculature of his forearm nicely. 

"None too pretty, eh?"

You let your eyes slide back up to his face, willfully overlook the ruin of his nose. "Wouldn't say that."

He narrows his eyes at you, as if searching for a lie. You know he won't find one, though, and weather it unflinchingly. Eventually he grunts in acceptance, or maybe approval. He doesn't say much after that, though you're content to enjoy the relative silence. The rowdy group from earlier have moved along, and the only other company you have out here is a couple quietly bickering down in the parking lot. Combined with the volume of the bar, it's level of noise you would have found annoying even just two days ago, but after so many hours stuck in the car with Ash's constant chatter, you revel in the lack of conversation, enjoy the minute twinge you get when you stretch your knees damn near hyperextension.

"Your friend's a bit more talkative than you," Simon eventually observes, voice neutral as to whether or not he likes that about you.

"My friend is quite social," you hedge, and laugh when Simon looks like he has something to say about that.

"Your friend has an agenda."

"That obvious?"

"Less obvious: is it a good idea?"

"Well why would you ask me that, when I have a vested interest in keeping the two of you apart tonight so I don't have to stand around awkwardly while the cab is a'rocking, you know what I mean?"

Simon smiles, first time all night. It does nothing to reduce his severity. "Well, you're welcome to join instead."

You can't help but scoff at him, though your laugh turns more nervous when he gives no indication of joking. "About the only thing worse than listening to Ash scream like a banshee from outside the truck, would be listening to her scream like a banshee from inside the truck. Thanks though."

He returns your grin, but it seems a bit tight. You squint at him, trying to get a feel for how insulted he actually is, but he's unflinching, unbothered. Simon's silence unnerves you, and you work to fill the void despite your earlier easiness within it. "Which, uh… Which one's yours?" You nod at the line of trucks on your left and his dark eyes follow the movement. 

Shaking his head, Simon steps into your space and angles you toward the other side of the lot. Leaning across your back, his big hand floats into your peripheral where he points at a bland, gleaming shape parked within the shadow of the building. It takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the low lot light in the corner, more a single porch light than anything. For a moment, it looks like any other of the million big white cabs you've seen crawling all over god's green earth, but then Simon clicks his fob behind you, and the lights flash, the dome light within turning on just long enough for you to catch a lacey little number hanging from his rear-view through the dark tinted glass, and then you notice the distinctly teeth-shaped grill you'd memorized in your passenger mirror earlier today. Your blood runs cold despite the heat of Simon behind you, you're tense, ready to flee even without your friend in tow. Your muscles don't listen, however, locked in place like a spring trap with no quarry. And then the crack of a breakshot from within the bar racks your nerves, has you spinning around to find Simon staring back down at you intensely, eyes dark enough to rival his truck's.

"You want that back? Kinda cold out here." His eyes dart down to your chest, as if he can see through the layers you've covered yourself with.

Part of you wants to yell at him, demand answers. A younger, squirrelier version of you probably would've slapped him. Instead, you slip past him wordlessly and make a beeline for your friend. "Ash," you hiss when you spot her, still at the booth where you left her. "Ash, we have to go -."

"Is that Simon's jacket?" She looks offended. You would roll your eyes at her if you had time to argue.

"Yes. Not important. Look," you take the jacket in question off, spare a brief thought for the base instinct telling you to rifle through his pockets. "Simon is the trucker I flashed. I think he followed us here."

"Oh, Jesus, Betty. That guy's probably already forgotten about you. You know how many people flash truckers every day?"

"In what world -? Is this National Lampoon's?" You huff, calm yourself. "Ash, I saw his truck, it's him, and I wanna go."

"You saw a white truck with a black cab, you mean? Spooky," she deadpans.

"He had my fucking bra hanging from his rearview -."

"You went in his cab?"

"No, fucking -."

"Did she go in your cab?"

You still, drawing yourself back to your full height from where you'd wound up leaning over your friend. Behind you, Simon steps close enough you can feel his heat again, smell that stale garage scent. "No," he shrugs and Ash eyes you both suspiciously.

"Here." You shove Simon's coat back into his chest, disappointed when you don't manage to move him an inch. Turning back to your friend, you dangle Ash's keys in her face. "I'm leaving. I encourage you to join."

"I can't even finish my beer?"

You don't bother to answer, storming back toward the door with enough confidence to have her scrambling after you.

"Jesus, what is your problem?" She hisses once the bar door slams shut after her. 

You point at Simon's truck, distinct chrome grill giving Ash pause for all of two seconds. "Could be anyone's."

"He asked me if I wanted my bra back, Ash."

Behind her, the bar door opens again. Simon's wide frame fills it for a moment, before stepping out onto the porch, casual as can be. He lights up another cigarette, eyes heavy on you all the while. He doesn't seem to notice when Ash waves at him. This time when you walk away, the crunching of gravel under foot is the only indication you get that your friend is following. She's silent for once as she climbs into the passenger's seat. You don't bother adjusting anything, tearing out of the driveway with a spray of dirt and debris that would probably ruin some paint jobs. Behind you, a truck follows you out of the lot, but the twenty foot shipping container it has loaded reassures you that it isn't Simon on your tail.

Ash remains silent for a long while, though you can tell she hasn't fallen asleep yet by the quality of her breathing. When she does speak, her voice is thin and reedy. "I didn't think he'd follow us."

"I know." For your part, you wish you could muster much beyond a general grumble of annoyance. She was just being silly when she made her little dare; it's not her fault the guy had been a creep. Thankfully, it seems he'd been content to just scare you a bit, the rearview faithfully returning only one set of headlights in your wake every time you check. 

"Go to bed, Ash. If he keeps following I'll wake you."

To your immense relief, she listens, her soft breaths relaxing the tension in your shoulders. After another glance in the side view to reassure yourself you're still safe, you take some soothing breaths of your own and run through what remains of your trip's itinerary, taking comfort in how little actually remained. Nearly half way over, and after tonight you don't think it'll be too hard to talk Ash out of any more unplanned stops at local dives just to check out the native wildlife. You're pretty sure you've both seen enough, the dejected way she'd looked after Simon's ulterior motive had been revealed playing again in your mind. Poor Ash, honestly, but you suppose it works out in your favor if it means getting home sooner and with fewer scrapes.

Feeling better, you turn the radio on, low enough it won't disturb your passenger. It takes some scanning through static to find anything, and when you do you're a bit annoyed that it's country gold of all things, but you can't deny how well it fits the landscape through which you drive, the low horizon backlit by the sunset's distant memory. It's nice, for a time. Nice enough you aren't really paying attention when DJ starts spouting local headlines, the news of a young woman's body being found recently only about an hour's ride north of here going in one ear and right out the other.

next>>

[ratcash-wasgud]

Tragicomedy

okay gang, hear me out. ik most ppl who follow me are here for bes but PLLLLSSSSS

this came to me in a dream and i feel like i would fail as prophet if i didn't deliver it

anyways, enjoy.

art major!ellie x reader vs rugby player!abby x reader.

a.n.:Okay, before we start, the reader will get a little specific (like in my other works, lmao). plus tw for homophobia.

Part 2 is done!!!

"Ellie Williams"

Ellie started at her own signature under a painting in the hall of the school. Her college had a small exhibition of the art major student's works, and she submitted a painting of a flower she saw in the nearby park, and the butterfly which is supposed to symbolize...well, you. When other people ask, it symbolizes love and freedom though, but it's wings are strangely the same colour as your eyes, and it's spots are the same as your hair.

She only chose this painting because she somehow hoped you'd come, compliment her painting, then she'll ask you out on a date to her favourite cafe, then boom! Marriage. Or that's Dina's plan, actually. Ellie knew it was stupid. You'd never like her. Why? Easy. Abby Anderson has her eyes on you as well, and who wouldn't chose the female rugby team's captain? Exactly.

Even if Abby is straight, Ellie sees the was she looks at you. You are the that cute girl who hangs around campus alone, reading a book, wearing headphones, or just casually taking pictures of flowers and bugs. Nobody could resist your cuteness, and Ellie feels like the whole thing is a personal attack towards her. She tried talking to you a couple times, and turns out you're also very friendly. She has a couple common interests with you, like comic books. Life was good for a couple days when she could just randomly bump into you (tottaly not on purpose), holding a comic you purposely talked about, then she could blow away almost two hours for you and her nerding out about said comic. But then?

Abby came in the picture. She suddenly started to appear next to you on multiple occasions, throwing her meaty arms around you, doing that stupid, cocky smirk of hers. And what do you do? You giggle at her stupid jokes.

What Ellie didn't know, on the other hand, is that Abby was nothing like how people precieved her as. Yeah, sure, she was a rugby player who was kind of a jock, but she wasn't cocky. If anything, she was more like a big puppy, who happened loved hamburgers and tackling people. It's not her fault it's fun. She also happened to like pretty girls.

Not the girls the rugby team would usually get associated with, the ones with short skirts, perfect hair or long, clack-y nails. She did like those things though, but she learned that she has a type.

A type for cute girls with a nose and eyes that wrinkle up when they smile, who paint cute shit on their nails, and the ones who still own, and name their stuffed animals. And surprise surprise, you fit that type perfectly.

Abby knew that too. That's why she got attached to your hip out of the blue. She found out about you through Mel, who was her roomate and your coworker at your partime job at this rundown diner.

But Abby knew she had to stay in her lane. She comes from a small town, full of old fashioned people, so she knows how little the chance is of you actually being into women. She never did anything risky or too touchy. Plus, she was kind of knew into this whole gay thing. She realized stuff kind of late. She has a disadvantage against all the cool gay women she say around campus, proudly wearing their pride pins, or holding hands in the halls.

She thinks if she did anything like that, she'd just get called a dyke by her teammates and her family. She never even did anything with a woman before. She knows how to do it, obviously she has internet, but still...just the thought of actually owning a strap kind of makes her nervous.

But Ellie knows what's up. She had a girlfriends before. She even owns toys just for the purpose of pleasing women. She's even out, so most people know about her lesbian intentions when she talks to a girl she finds attractive. But not withouth a price though. She did get called slurs before, and by Abby's circle too, so she has solid reasons to hate the whole friendgrounp. Even if Abby herself never said anything, she still stood there, arms crossed and eyebrows scrunched up. And now, she tries to cling to the one girl Ellie had a genuine crush on since highschool? That's not fair. It's targeted, even.

It has to a be a hatecrime or something.

"It's the library, not a gym, Anderson. You must be confused, get lost." Ellie says with a scowl as she puts her finger between the pages of a comic book she has been explaining to you.

It's the first time she had found you alone in weeks, and she just has to spawn herself into the situation. Of course.

"Oh, get fucked, Williams." Abby shoots her a glare before putting her hand on the table you two are sitting at, and looming behind you. "Sorry, I was rudely interrupted before I could...you know, say hi." She says to you with a corny smile.

Ellie can't help but roll her eyes.

"Hi to you too." You smile lightly, putting your own comic book into your lap. You're especially pretty today, Abby thinks. She wonders if it's because of someone.

"So...you know, I was wondering if you'd wanna...uhh..." Abby takes a deep breath as she rubs her arm, but doing as casually as she can. "Come with me to that cute lil' diner down the street. I actually have a cupon for free milkshakes."

Ellie purses her lips and glares.

"She works at a diner, dumbass, I don't think she wants to spend her free time in one too," She says, now the page of the comic is forgotten as she crosses her arms. "I'm sure she'd like a place like...the amusement park more. It just happens that I have tickets for the weekend." Boom. Ellie smirks internally.

"The amusement park?" You perk up, cute bambi eyes widening. You seemed to like that idea. "Yeah! We should go together." You smile and Ellie feels like a whole storm just blew a bunch of flowers into her face. It's lovely, really. Until, "Right, Abby?"

Huh? You meant...all three of you?

Abby looks just as shocked as Ellie, and does her best to act nonchalant. "Yeah, sure. But I won't carry you after you die on a rollercoaster." She snickers, shooting Ellie a siteating grin.

Both women knew they couldn't decline this stupid three-way date, since they couldn't actually invite you anywhere on their own. So, amusement park it was.

The weekend came, and to you, it was such a nice day. You didn't have friends ever since you started college, but now, you actually felt appritiated. Like you belong.

It started with you meeting Ellie at the diner, then Abby coming to pick both of you up with her truck. The day was spent with you convinving both of them for silly rides you wanted to try. The problem was, that there were usually 2 people fitting seats. You didn't want either of them to feel left out, so you made them sit together, and you sat before them. The whole day felt like a damn comedy.

"Look, churros!" You cheer as you spot a booth with one of your favourite snacks after not really eating anything that day. Ellie, almost throwing up after that last ride, grimaces at the sight, while Abby steps forward, already reaching for her wallet.

"Want me to buy you some?" She asks, standing beside you as she points at one of the flavors. Meanwhile, Ellie suddenly perks up, not wanting to get left behind. "I could get you a slushie to go along with it. Churros here are usually pretty dry." Abby rewards this attemt with a side-eye.

Then a pair of men, holding hands, also approach the booth, smiling to eachother and discussing what they should get. Abby glances their way, seeing their way of holding eachother's hands, and she reaches out slowly, her hand brushing against your's, just when a middle aged man walks by the booth, and sadly opens his mouth. "Fags nowadays. They're everywhere, damn it. There's kids here."

Abby suddenly freezes. Her hand imidiately back in her pocket, and she just stares at her wallet. She feels her feet grow roots into the ground, and suddenly she hears the same phrase in her father's voice. This is a random Saturday, the sun is shining, there are people in love, but it's still...

"Your breath is everywhere too dude. What a stench" Ellie's voice brings her back to reality, and her snaps at the auburn haired woman, fearlessly, glaring at the man.

She didn't know Williams could be...brave? Mmm, not the right word. Proud? Maybe.

Meanwhile, Ellie is fuming. This random ass dude tries to ruin her only chance she has with her crush by ruining the whole mood. She's not having that. She sees the two guys glance at her, and send a smile her way as she flips the middle aged bigot off one last time before he disappears.

She quickly jerks her face back to you, and what she sees it...Abby with tears shimmering in her eyes, and you standing befor her, cupping her face and stroking her arm. It's a horrible sight. Your soft hands don't belong on that burly surfice. Ellie feels like she's left behind.

Meanwhile Abby is panicking. It's over, you saw her cry, she must be the lamest person ever right now. She has embarrased herself before the first girl she has ever liked just because she's a coward, because even the hint of being judged that way scares her to death.

In the end, both women's worst fears somehow came true.

Ellie losing to Abby, while Abby losing to her fears. What a tragedy.

But you? To you, this day was the realest thing you have felt since college started. You have learned that the nerdy art student is fierce, and that the captain of the rugby team can cry. You are attached now, and there's no escape.

Meanwhile Ellie and Abby feel like sinking into the ground with broken hopes, they don't know that you will ask to hang out again pretty soon.

[luminoustarlight]

Saccharine | Modern!Anakin Skywalker

What do you get when you mix a college Halloween party with beer and a pretty girl wearing a pirate costume?

A jealous Anakin Skywalker.

rating: explicit | pairing: anakin skywalker x afab!reader | wc: 5.3k | read on ao3 warnings: fluff, friends to lovers, drinking, jealousy/possessiveness, SMUT [fingering, oral (m & f receiving), unprotected p in v, come eating/swallowing, mild degradation, like a really brief moment of lactation kink(???)]

the lovely @queenie-official asked for someone to write anakin and reader at a halloween party and anakin gets jealous. i have no idea where 5.3k words came from but y'all i love this one!

and i dedicate this to @hanasnx because we were talking about how we would suck anakin's dick every day if we could.

Here’s the thing about Halloween parties— or rather, Halloween and parties.

Anakin hates both of them. Halloween is a stupid holiday where girls wear short skirts, low-cut tank tops, and a pair of generic animal ears and call it a “costume”. Then they complain about being cold and ask for your jacket. It’s fucking October in New York, what do they expect? 

As for parties, Anakin has never liked them. He’s not a particularly social person. Hell, he’s not even that pleasant of a person but he somehow wound up with you as his best friend in college. He’s the grumpy to your sunshine. He’s a pessimist, you’re an optimist. He drinks black coffee, you like it full of syrupy caramel. He hates everything you like and you don’t understand any of the things he finds fascinating.

The logistics of your friendship is complicated. You don’t know why Anakin is the easiest person for you to talk to even though you have just about nothing in common. You don’t know why Anakin chooses to spend all of his time with you, even though there are other girls in his engineering classes who would kill to talk to him about their shared major. 

You don’t know why he holds your hand when you walk through Central Park while telling you about his hookups. (You wish he wouldn’t talk about other girls with you but you just like the sound of his voice so you do your best at drowning out the meaning of the words). 

If only he knew how miserable it makes you feel to hear about his dating life. If only you knew how difficult it is for you to do the same because every single guy is lack-luster compared to Anakin.    

“I hate parties,” Anakin states. He’s tossing a baseball— the foul ball he caught for you at a Yankees game— in the air to keep his hands busy.

“Yeah, but you love me,” you reply while taking a cream flowy blouse out of your closet. 

“Not if you make me go to this stupid Halloween party with you.” 

You roll your eyes and rest your shirt hanger on one of the knobs on your dresser. You catch the baseball midair and flop beside Anakin on your bed. He props up on an elbow and you just want to soothe the crease between his eyebrows. “Pleaaaase, Ani?” 

“No.” 

“Oh, c’mon! When’s the last time you did something for me?” 

“Look around, sweetheart,” Anakin gestures his arm out lazily. “I helped you move into this place.” 

You huff. “Okay, fine. But you offered. And if I recall correctly, I supplied you with all of the coffee and bagels your heart desired.” 

“There’s only one thing my heart desires.” A lopsided grin forms on Anakin’s lips as his fingers brush against your elbow. It’s a barely there type of touch, one you might not even notice if it weren’t for the sparks you feel every time you and Anakin make contact. 

You fail to mask the sharp intake of air that passes through your teeth. “Wh-what’s that?” 

Anakin runs his tongue over his bottom lip and you think maybe, maybe he just might say what you want him to say. Your heart expands with hope as you await his answer with a bated breath. “To not go to a fucking Halloween party.” 

And just like that, your hope deflates. Of course he wasn’t being serious. Why does his blatant disinterest in you make tears threaten behind your eyes? Is your affectionate friendship really so common that it doesn’t mean anything to him?   

You quickly stand up from your bed and distract yourself by finding the skirt you want to wear in your pile of clothes on the floor. You clear your throat and rapidly blink back any tears before they fall down your cheeks. “Fine,” you say as you find your skirt. “I don’t want you there anyway. It’s the senior Halloween party and I’m not going to miss it because of you.”

“Fine,” Anakin says back. “Go. I don’t care.” 

You gather your clothes in your arms and stand at the foot of your bed. “I have to get dressed first.” 

“So?” Anakin is back to throwing the baseball in the air. Oh, you hate him so much sometimes. You swat the ball out of the air so it lands on Anakin’s stomach, making him groan and his legs curl up to his chest. “Ow.” 

 “So, get out,” you instruct. 

“Jeez. Alright, alright.” Anakin slowly gets up from your bed, being the overly dramatic douche you had to fall in love with. “What, they didn’t put enough sugar in your coffee this morning?” 

“Out!” you point to your door. You’re fuming with him. Why does he have to be so fucking difficult? At this point, you don’t even want to go to the party but you’ll go anywhere to get away from him. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

You take a good thirty minutes to get ready for the party. Inspired by a recent rewatch of the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, you decided to dress up as a pirate. You didn’t have to buy a shirt or skirt, which helped keep the cost down. You did purchase a corset, hat, and knee high boots from a thrift store in Brooklyn. With the crimson scarf you’ve had since freshman year wrapped around your waist, you’re set. 

Anakin waits for you on your aubergine couch in your living room. Why he’s waiting, you’re unsure. He’s stretched across the entire length of the couch, his long legs hanging over the armrest. Upon hearing your boots scuff across the floor, he quickly locks his phone and stands from the couch. 

“What are you still doing here?” you brush past him and into the kitchen. 

“I changed my mind,” Anakin replies, following you. You don’t notice the way he looks you up and down, soaking in the entire image of you. The scoopy neckline of your shirt, the flounce of your brown skirt, and the tightness of the corset. The only thing he’s disappointed by is the length of your skirt. It’s not short enough. 

Still, there’s no way he’s letting you go to the party alone. Somebody has to pretend to be your protective boyfriend to keep the college douchebags away. “I’m going with you.” 

You turn around without realizing how close Anakin is to you. You practically step on his toes. He looms over you and you fear he might actually hear your heart racing with how close he is. You back away, straightening your skirt for no other reason than to not look at Anakin. “Are you, now?” 

“Yes.” Anakin crosses his arms. “Are you ready?” 

“You’re going like that?” You counter. “In a zip-up Yankees hoodie?” 

“Take it or leave it, sweetheart.” 

You hate him. You love him. You hate that you love him because you know he doesn’t feel the same way. At least not in a romantic way. You grab a banana off of the counter and march toward the door. “I’d rather leave you here.” 

“Not an option.” Anakin closes your door and uses his key to lock it. The act of him using the key you gave him for emergencies makes your insides twist. It’s on a ring with his own apartment key, as if he’d need yours as frequently as he needs his own. 

You walk down the hallway with a quick pace and make a point to stomp down the stairs, even if it annoys your neighbors more than Anakin. “You’re being exceptionally annoying today.” 

“Thank you,” Anakin accepts the insult as if it’s a compliment. He holds the lobby door open for you and a rush of late October air attacks your skin. You have to hold your hat on your head so it doesn’t blow away. You make an effort not to shudder in front of Anakin, knowing how much he hates girls being unprepared for the weather. At least you’re wearing long sleeves. But it’s not not like the fabric was made to keep the Autumn chill out. 

The party is only a couple of blocks away in Hell’s Kitchen and you’re determined to stay silent all the way there. You’ll just eat your banana and pray Anakin isn’t in a rare talking mood. 

“Why are you walking so fucking fast? I have longer legs than you and I’m practically running.” 

You ignore him. You just want to go to the party, have a couple of drinks, maybe flirt with some guys you have no intentions of screwing, and then go home. Preferably without the puppy dog currently following you. 

“So. Pirate. Interesting choice. You got a thing for Jack Sparrow or something?” Why does he never have anything interesting to say when you actually want to talk to him? Now he can’t seem to shut up. 

Just one more block. Why did he change his mind? Why couldn’t he just be content with going back to his apartment and finding someone to hook up with? You’re sure that’s what he was doing while you were getting ready. The way he locked his phone and shoved it in his pocket when he heard you come out of your room. Whatever. It doesn’t matter. It’s not like you two are dating or anything. He doesn’t have to hide his booty calls from you. 

“I see what you’re doing,” Anakin jogs in front of you and starts walking backwards. “You’re ignoring me.” 

You give him a look that has “No shit, Sherlock” written all over it. 

“Y’know I don’t like being ignored. I’m too sensitive.” 

You have to laugh. “You? Sensitive?” 

“Ha!” Anakin points at you. “Gotcha.” 

“Whatever,” you roll your eyes. “We’re here, anyway. I know you’re just gonna find a corner and sulk in it so please, just let me have a good time tonight.” 

“Alright,” Anakin surrenders. You walk into the brick building together, the heavy bass of the music thrumming through your bones. “But just one thing.” 

You raise your brows, waiting for him to continue. “You look beautiful tonight.” 

Your heart skips a beat and you hate how easily he makes you swoon. How easily your feelings of irritation disappear after one compliment. “Just tonight?” 

“Ah- what?” Anakin looks at you quizzically. Perhaps he didn’t hear you over the booming music and chatter. 

“Never mind!” you shout. “I’m gonna get a drink. You want a beer?” 

“Sure,” Anakin shrugs. You nod and skip off without another word. When you don’t come back after twenty minutes, Anakin starts to worry. It doesn’t matter how many girls have come up to him and batted their lashes at him. It doesn’t matter that he has 11 unread messages from several past hookups waiting for him on his phone. What matters is that you’re alone at a college party with booze and guys who get a little too handsy when they’re drunk. 

He pushes himself through the crowd, not an ounce of care that he’s severely undressed and out of place. Actually, he’s overdressed. He didn’t know the fire marshal could allow so many shirtless ‘Gladiators’ in one building. And here he thought only girls used Halloween as an excuse not to wear anything. He bumps into several people on his quest for you. 

“Hey, man! Watch it!” 

“Yo, dickhead, you made me spill my beer!” 

“What are you supposed to be? A sad Yankees fan?” 

Anakin hardly hears any of it. Actually, everything seems to fall silent when he spots you. Every other body blurs as he focuses on you and your hand on the forearm of some guy dressed as Captain Kirk from Star Trek. At least he has a goddamn shirt on. It doesn't make the uncomfortable feeling in his stomach disappear, though. You know why? It’s because you’re throwing your head back with laughter. Real, genuine laughter. What is this guy saying to you? And why hasn’t Anakin made you laugh like that recently? 

When the familiar figure of Anakin approaches you, you instantly feel bad. You forgot to bring him his beer! And then you realize that you actually handed it to the guy you’re talking to. Oops? 

“Ani! I never brought you your beer! I am so sorry. I got distracted talking to- oh my God, I don’t even know your name!” 

“Oh, uh, Jeff,” the guy tilts his beer bottle toward you and smiles. You smile back and tell him your name. You also introduce Anakin, but he’s not feeling very friendly right now. He’s too busy criticizing the way Captain Kirk introduced himself. 

Oh, uh, Jeff? He had to think about his name? He couldn’t just say Jeff? 

“Jeff and I were talking about baseball. He’s a Mets fan, though,” you fake gag. “I told him about the foul ball you practically saved me from. Whew, my life flashed before my eyes.” 

“Yeah, they come out of nowhere when you’re not paying attention.” 

Anakin hates this guy. He fucking hates him. His fists clench by his side before sidling up next to you, wrapping a strong arm around your waist. You stumble when he pulls you toward him. “She was paying attention. Are you implying that she wasn’t watching the game?” 

“Anakin, it’s fine,” you place your hand on Anakin’s chest to calm him. “I’m sure that’s not what Jeff meant.” 

“Yeah, man, not at all. I’ve had a couple of close calls myself.” 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve been hit in the head a couple of times with the way you introduced yourself,” Anakin spits. “Who has to think about their name? ‘Oh, um, I can’t remember. I think my name is Jeff,’” Anakin mocks.  

“Anakin, stop,” you try pushing away from him. “You’re being incredibly rude.” 

“I don’t care,” he replies. He begins ushering you away from Walmart Captain Kirk. “We’re leaving.” 

“Seriously, Anakin,” you manage to slither out of Anakin’s grasp. “Stop it.” 

“Hey, is this guy bothering you?” Jeff puffs out his chest. 

Anakin steps in front of you and squares himself in front of the guy with no chance with you. “Funny, I was going to ask her the same thing about you.” 

“Are you her boyfriend or something?” 

“He’s not-” you begin, standing on your toes to talk over Anakin’s shoulder. 

“Something like that,” Anakin answers. Huh? 

“Whatever,” Jeff scoffs. “Thanks for wasting my time.” 

“Wait, Jeff!” you call. “It’s not like that-” 

“Let him go,” Anakin grits. “He’s not worth it.” 

You had almost forgotten about the frustration Anakin made you feel in your apartment. Now it’s all coming to the surface again. Yes, you feel bad for abandoning him and not bringing him his beer but he had no right to ruin your conversation like that. “Oh, and you are?”

“We’re not talking about this here.” Anakin turns and expects you to follow. You have half a mind not to scream at him in the middle of the party but it would be a waste of breath. He’s already nearing the door. You down the rest of your beer and follow Anakin out of the party and onto the street. 

It feels drastically colder outside but perhaps it’s all coming from Anakin’s stare. You stuff your hands beneath your arms in an attempt to keep them warm. “What the hell, Anakin? What was that all about?” 

“Nothing.” 

“I’m sorry, did you just say ‘nothing’? That was not nothing, Anakin. That was… that was…” you search for the word but your toes are starting to freeze. You don’t know how frozen toes correlate to not being able to think, but it does. The wind is biting at your legs and your teeth are chattering. 

“Jealousy?” Anakin fills in the blank. 

“Yes! Jealousy! Are you fucking jealous, Anakin?” 

“So what if I am?” 

You’re both shouting unnecessarily but you’re fucking pissed. This cannot be the way you admit your feelings for each other. This isn’t how it was supposed to go. It’s supposed to be romantic. It’s supposed to happen when you’re strolling through the park and the leaves are falling around you and you kiss and everything falls into place. It’s not supposed to happen during a screaming match on the sidewalk while you’re dressed like a historically inaccurate pirate. 

“So what if I feel like punching every single guy who talks to you? Or even look at you? Hm?” Anakin is backing you into the wall and you have no choice but to retreat. “I am jealous every fucking day. I feel possessive over you and I know I shouldn’t. You’re mine, even though you’re not.” Anakin has caged you in with his arms pressed against the wall above your head. His leg is nudged between yours and if you just lower yourself a tiny bit, you might feel a bit of friction where it’s needed. 

Anakin drops his head down so his nose brushes against your cheek. Your lips are so close, you can feel the warmth of his breath. “You never asked me,” you whisper. 

“What?” 

“You never asked me to be yours,” you unzip Anakin’s sweatshirt and slide your arms into the warmth of his jacket. You press yourself against his chest and you think perhaps everything is falling into place.

“Then I’m asking you now,” Anakin cradles your face in his hands. He runs his thumbs over your cheekbones and wonders why it took so damn long to finally get to this point. “Will you be mine?” 

“I already am.” You pull Anakin down to your lips by the collar of his sweatshirt. He tastes like Altoids and you taste like beer, which isn’t necessarily a pleasant combination but it doesn’t matter. Anakin’s lips are so plush and soft, everything you dreamed they’d be but better. They work against yours like it’s the only thing they’re made for. He’s groaning against you, slipping his tongue carefully past your lips. He’s not overzealous with it like some people are. It’s just perfect. He’s perfect. 

The heat in your core continues to grow and spread throughout your body, suddenly warming you up. “Anakin,” you murmur. 

“Hmm?” He replies, but he doesn’t stop kissing you. He pays attention to your neck—which smells of vanilla and everything nice— and is nibbling gently but kissing harshly. His hands have found their way to your breasts, massaging you through your bra and you just fucking wish he’d stop for a second because it’s all too distracting. 

“Anakin, stop,” you breathe out. 

“What? What, are you okay?” Anakin withdraws himself from you completely and you damn near whine at the loss of contact.

“I’m fine, Ani. More than fine.” 

Anakin relaxes at your assurance and takes a moment to admire you. Your hat is askew on your head and your shirt is crooked from him cupping with your boobs. He hopes the corset isn’t difficult to take off… 

“Anakin?” you snap your fingers in front of his face. 

“Huh?” 

“What are you thinkin’ about, pretty boy?” 

“So many things,” Anakin smirks.  

“Care to enlighten me at my apartment?” 

“Way ahead of you, babe.” Anakin whips out his phone and orders an Uber. He’s not walking five blocks back to your apartment with a hard-on. 

───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── 

You have no clue how either of you manage to keep your hands to yourself in the Uber, but you do. You hardly make it through your door before Anakin’s lips are back on yours with a heavy desperation. He throws your hat off, letting it land who knows where. His hand is on the back of your neck and you’re doing a clumsy dance around your living room. You’re tugging at the roots of his wavy hair, which he’s been growing out since last semester. 

You and Anakin are a mess of hands as you’re both trying to get the other’s clothes off with your mouths still attached to each other. He’s fumbling with the laces of your corset and you wonder how long it will take him to realize there’s a zipper in the back. 

You shrug off his sweatshirt, leaving him in a basic white tee. Anakin reluctantly breaks away from you when he accepts he’s getting nowhere with your corset. “This thing is fucking impossible,” he groans. 

You giggle as you draw the zipper down your back and remove the black corset from your body. You let it drop to the floor as you drape your arms around Anakin’s neck. “You were saying?” 

“I hate you,” Anakin says with a smile. 

“You love me.” 

“So much,” he replies, lips trailing down your neck once again. “I love you so much it consumes me. I’ve tried to fill this void inside of me with other women but it’s never enough. It’s not enough because they’re not you.”

You’re smiling so widely your cheeks hurt. You consume him. He loves you. You’ve never been happier. “I love you too, Anakin. You have no idea.”

“I have some idea,” he smiles. He grabs a fistful of your skirt and slips his hands beneath the hem to find your panties. “Are you going to let me take care of you tonight?” 

“Anything,” you nod, giving him the permission to remove your panties. You take off your boots and blouse and while it’s by no means a show, Anakin is enjoying every second of it. 

“I’ll let you do anything, Anakin.” You unclip your bra so all that you’re left in is your skirt. Anakin is still wearing a shirt and jeans, which is only mildly infuriating since his golden tan skin looks so radiant against the bright white of his shirt. 

As Anakin admires you, he can’t possibly be filled with any more lust than he is right now. Three years of pining after you is surging through his veins and his cock is insanely hard. He’s imagined this so many times. Would he fuck you slowly? Or maybe you’d rather have it fast and hard. Do you like to be called sweet things? Would you be his good girl? Or would you rather be his little slut? 

He’s overwhelmed with the incessant need to taste your cunt. “Get on the couch,” he instructs. “Take your skirt off, too. I want to see all of you.” 

You nod and once you’ve stepped out of the fabric, you situate yourself on your couch. Anakin kneels down in front of you and resists the urge to spread your legs open so he can see your pussy. “You have to take something off, too,” you say sweetly.  

Anakin swiftly tears his shirt over his head and you knew he was fit, but you just didn’t realize how fit. “Oh my God,” you practically drool. 

“Yeah?” Anakin smirks whilst hooking his arms beneath your thighs, pulling your ass to the edge of the couch. His cock strains against his jeans even more now that he can see your glistening pussy. “You like what you see, sweetheart?” 

You shrug. “Mm, yeah. It’s alright, I guess.” 

“You’re a little brat,” Anakin says before kissing up your thigh. The feather-light touch of his warm lips makes you wiggle. Your hand rests atop of Anakin’s head, fingers massaging his scalp in an effort to keep him traveling up to your core. “You’re lucky I can’t resist a pretty pussy like yours.” 

“Is it the prettiest?” 

Anakin lays a kiss on the inside of your other thigh. His nose brushes against your clit as he places a chaste kiss over your folds while running two fingers down your slit. “No doubt about it, babe,” Anakin praises. Fuck, you smell divine. He wants to spend all day between your thighs.  “The absolute prettiest. Bet you taste the sweetest, too.”

With that, Anakin dips a finger inside of you, making you gasp. “Fuck, sweetheart,” Anakin sucks in a breath. He lays his head on your thigh to watch his finger disappear inside of you and then reappear glistening with your juices. “How can you be this wet already? I’ve barely gotten started.” 

You roll your head along the couch cushions, impossibly worked up and craving more than just one of Anakin’s fingers. “Then show me what you’re made of, Skywalker.” 

Oh, that sends a jolt straight through Anakin’s cock. He wastes no more time teasing you and slips another finger into your hole while attaching his lips to your clit. He flicks the tip of his tongue over your bundle of nerves, two long fingers are curling against your walls, and Anakin can’t get enough. Pussy just tastes better when you love the person you’re eating out. It’s pure saccharine to him. He needs it pumped into his blood to survive. 

Anakin finesses his cock out of his pants and strokes himself several times to alleviate the terrible pain that has come over him. Your strangled cries of pleasure and hand on his head pushing him further into your cunt encourages Anakin to add a third finger. “Anakin! Fuck!” 

“You like that, baby?” Anakin is breathless, lips coated with your nectar. “You like being stretched by my fingers?” 

“Mm,” you hum, fisting his hair, “yes.” 

“Bet you do.” Anakin bites the inside of your thigh and pumps his three digits agonizingly slowly so he can really admire the stretch. It’s a toe curling sensation and a bit foreign more than anything. You had no idea fingers could feel so good. Maybe it’s just Anakin’s. He places the pad of his thumb on your clit, applying even pressured circles and yeah, it’s totally just Anakin who makes you feel this good. “Good little whores love to be stretched out.” 

“Oh my God!” you exclaim, pussy clenching at Anakin calling you a whore. Your bodily response doesn’t go unnoticed by Anakin. No, he’s storing all of this in his memory, creating a file of all the things that make you go wild. “Fuck me, Anakin. Please.” 

“Currently doing that with fingers, sweetheart.” He pumps his fingers faster but rolls over your nub with a more delicate touch. By now you’re squirming off of the couch, heels digging into the cushion and all you can do is chant Anakin’s name. You’re caught in a dichotomy of wanting to cum while also wanting Anakin’s cock. “C’mon, angel, let it go. I want you to cum on my fingers before you take my cock.” 

“But I- hngh…” your words are mangled as it’s no longer an option to stave off your orgasm. Your clit is overly sensitive and the tightness in your tummy begins to unravel as your walls pulse around Anakin’s three fingers. “Mm— oh, fuck! Ani-”

“That’s it, baby,” Anakin coos. “Fuck, you’re so beautiful when you cum.” He draws his fingers from you one by one, each time making you cry from emptiness. Anakin sits beside you on the couch, bringing his fingers soaked in your goodness up to your mouth. You open obediently, only taking in two of them. Your tangy sweetness coats your tongue and you’re looking straight into Anakin’s ocean eyes. The way he’s looking at you makes you feel seasick. 

When Anakin takes his fingers out of your mouth, you maneuver yourself on top of Anakin. The rough denim of his jeans creates a rough contrast to the silky tip of his cock poking your thigh. He manages to get his jeans down his legs and around his ankles. Kicking his feet out of them impatiently, his large hands find a home on your breasts while you grab the base of him and position him under your cunt. He’s kneading your mounds gently, rolling your nipples between his thumb and forefinger. You slot your lips between his as you lower yourself onto his lap. 

“F-fuck, Ani,” you rest your forehead on Anakin’s as your breathing becomes one. He runs his hands down your tummy, landing on your waist and gives you an encouraging squeeze. “So big, so full,” you murmur. Anakin guides your hips forward and backward, nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck. He’s sucking down hard, no other thought other than claiming you as his.

It’s fucking magnificent having his cock nestled deep inside of you while you’re moaning in his ear, and soft hands roaming his upper body. His hands drop down to your ass, grabbing a handful of your peachy cheeks. You start bouncing on his cock, each time you drop down you feel like he’s in your stomach. “Cunt’s so fuckin’ greedy,” Anakin groans. “You just can’t get enough of my cock, can you?” 

“Mmh, nuh uh,” you babble mindlessly. Your legs are starting to ache but the pain goes in tandem with the pleasure. Anakin presses your chest to his with his arms around your back. You kiss along his jaw lazily, feeling your energy deplete with each landing on Anakin’s thick length. “Need you to…mmm-” 

“Say no more.” Anakin flips you over seamlessly with his cock still anchored inside of you. He hikes your leg over his shoulder and he drills into you at a delicious new angle. His fingers fall to your clit and it sends you soaring. “Fuck,” Anakin breathes. “I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this tight cunt from me for three years.” 

“Y-yours now,” you have some brain cells left to respond. He’s fucking you hard, tits bouncing with each thrust and Anakin just has to have one in his mouth. While he encloses his lips over one of your nipples, he cups your other breast in his hand. He flicks his tongue across your bud and suckles, as if there’s something in there to nourish him. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you chant. It’s all getting to be too much. The bulge you feel in your belly, the pressure on your clit, Anakin’s warm mouth on your breast. How is he so good at doing so many things? “Ani, I’m close.” 

“I feel it, angel,” Anakin drags his lips across your chest and up your neck until he reaches his final destination. With his lips slotted between yours once more, the roll of his hips is languid and methodical. He’s bringing you along gradually, until your second orgasm washes over you and your limbs are convulsing. You moan into Anakin’s mouth and he swallows it happily. “Fuck, I’m gonna cum. Where do you want it?” 

“Mouth!” you manage to say. Anakin loses every single semblance of control he had when you utter that one word. He pulls out of you just as he begins to cum, hot ropes landing on your chest before he’s propped his foot by your head and shoves his cock between your lips. 

Your warm mouth welcomes him greedily as his seed coats your tongue. “Shit,” Anakin grumbles. “Such a little cum slut.” 

You nod submissively, wrapping your hands around the rest of his length, all slippery from your juices. You look so fucking sexy with his dick in your mouth, he can’t even think straight. You on the other hand, you could suck his cock all damn day. You don’t even have to think while you’re doing it, you’ll just let your hands, mouth, and tongue do whatever they want. It isn’t until you feel his dick start to soften do you realize he’s finished releasing his load. 

Anakin breathlessly slumps down on the other side of your couch. You scoop up his cum from your chest and bring it to your mouth. “Don’t. Don’t fucking do that,” Anakin says rather firmly. 

“Why not?” you blink innocently. 

“You know exactly why.” 

You don’t reply. Instead, you crawl over to him, pulling the blanket that’s draped over the back of your couch and lay on top of Anakin’s chest. He lets you get comfortable as you’re sandwiched between his body and the back cushions of your couch. Once you’ve settled, his strong arm holds you against him protectively. He kisses the top of your head gently and mumbles something you can’t understand. 

Neither of you say anything the rest of the night. Anakin isn’t a man of many words, anyway. But when he has something to say, he’ll make sure he gets his point across. The point he made tonight was very clear. 

He loves you.

remember to reblog and leave comments to support authors!

(ps i'm not a yankees or mets fan. hayden's sweatshirt just kinda looks like the yankees logo even though i know it's not. okay that's it.)

◂ anakin masterlist ▸ main masterlist

[bandgie]

I had an idea but idk if you'd be comfortable with it so feel free to ignore it

I thought of minho and hyunjin for it. minho knowing hyunjin has a crush on someone. minho knows her but hyunjin doesn't. to tease him, minho takes the girl out on a friendly date and takes pics to show hyunjin. he gets jealous but that pushes him to talk to the girl and after meeting up a few times, they fuck. as revenge, hyunjin takes a picture or video or whatever to send to minho

I like loser to cocky hyunjin 😶

2k words

warnings! MDNI 18+, blowjob, throat fucking (light), cum swallowing, recording during oral

"Hyung, can you not send me things like that?"

"Like what?" But Minho already knows. He has a sly grin that makes his top two teeth slightly poke out. The smile only widens when Hyunjin groans, digging his phone from his pocket and unlocking it.

It only takes a few clicks before Hyunjin shows Minho the message. A sent picture of you holding up ice cream, smiling, and throwing up a peace sign.

"Ohhh," Minho pretends to finally understand. "Did you know she loves strawberry ice cream?"

"Minho!" Hyunjin jumps at the sound of his voice. "You know how I feel. It doesn't make me feel any better." He shoves his phone back into his pocket, folding his arms. "You're being a mean hyung to me."

"Mean? It's not my fault you're not doing anything. I'm just trying to give you a little encouragement." And although that's somewhat true, Minho can't lie that he finds joy in Hyunjin's scowl. 

Hyunjin shakes his head. "Well, stop it. It's not working."

But Minho doesn't. Every few days, Hyunjin gets an image of you with Minho. It ranges from going out for lunch to volunteering at animal shelters. Minho is in the same major as you and Hyunjin only came across you once. That's all it took for him to develop an innocent crush; one that Minho is seemingly keen on ruining.

Message after message, days upon days that leave Hyunjin feeling a mix of emotions. He's at the university library, staring at his phone and debating on blocking Minho's number until a glimpse of your figure catches his attention. 

It shouldn't be a surprise to see you, you all go to the same college, but it's rare for Hyunjin to come across anyone he knows due to his schedule. For a minute, he just watches. He observes the way you survey the room to look for a spot, and steps slowly to get a good look. He watches as your eyes lock with his, smiling and giving a small wave. You quicken your steps in his direction-

Holy shit. Are you going to sit next to him? Hyunjin hurriedly collects his scattered papers to make some room, not bothering to lock his phone that he hastily sets on the table. Your steps get closer, his heart beats faster. He's managed to make a small, messy pile when you stop just a few inches shy away from him. 

"It's Hyunjin, right?" Gosh, even the way you say his name makes his stomach dip.

Hyunjin nods, eyes shifting from his paper to your face. "Yeah."

"Okay good!" You happily set your backpack on the table and choose the seat right next to him. "I wasn't sure. I just seen you and thought you looked familiar. You're Minho's friend, no?"

This is the closest Hyunjin's ever been with you. He can smell your perfume, the lip balm that makes your mouth shine, and your cheery expression as you speak. How is Minho even friends with someone so happy?

Probably to make Hyunjin's life difficult. But there isn't an opportunity to answer as Hyunjin's phone goes off. Still unlocked, both of you stare at the message. 

From: Asshole [image sent] got to try out the new cafe with your favorite person the other day lol

Hyunjin reaches for the phone, but the damage is already done. You're quicker than him, snatching it off the table and scrolling further into the messages. Some casual conversations, lots of cussing, but mostly you. Just photos of you with captions ranging from what you did with Minho to Hyunjin asking- no begging - for Minho to stop. 

"What the hell?" You mumble to yourself just as Hyunjin successfully pries his phone from your grasp. He's sweating, you notice. Chest expanding rapidly and hands shaking. "Why is Minho sending pictures of me to you like that?"

He just shakes his head, unable to answer from embarrassment or shock, you're not sure. His dark hair sweeps over his face and he hurriedly packs his things. "I need to go." His voice is just as shaky as his hands. 

You grab a hold of his bag, preventing him from leaving. "You're not going anywhere." You yank on the material and he whines. "Hyunjin." He whines again at the sound of his name, but he remains standing and pulling against your grasp.

"Hyunjin. Sit. Down."

His legs turn to jelly, a final whimper escaping his throat as he plops back in his seat. You let a sigh, rubbing your temples in a way that makes Hyunjin gulp.

"Sorry, I...I didn't mean to say it like that." You take a deep breath. "I just don't understand why Min is sending you pictures of me. It comes off a little...weird. You know?"

Weird? Oh, he's so fucked. You're keeping a neutral expression, but Hyunjin isn't sure how much longer that'll last. If he tells you the truth, you might be disgusted. You both hardly know each other, how can he harbor even just some feelings for you? This is Minho's fault. It's only fair that he gets the full blame. 

"Yeah, no I get it," Hyunjin nods. "He just..." Fuck, what is he supposed to say?

You give him a few seconds before you prompt him again, "He just what?" You're being so patient. So understanding that you're still here letting Hyunjin save his ass. You should have called him a perv by now, slapping him across the face. But you didn't.

"He's just a dick." Fuck it. "I've already asked him to stop, but he just likes to torture me." You raise a curious eyebrow, but Hyunjin continues. "It was one time. I said that I think you're pretty just one time and he makes it his fucking mission to make sure he sees how much fun he's having with you."

That's not what you were expecting, but Hyunjin is far from done. "I would love to get to know you, to talk to you, but I'm such a pussy. That dick rubs it in my face how often you two hang out. Like, that's cool and all, but I want to rip my hair out." Hyunjin gets more confident as he talks, most likely getting riled up from talking about Minho, but you hardly mind.

"So, yes, it's weird. I know. But it's not my fault!" Hyunjin quickly scans the near-empty library at the raising of his voice. "Minho just keeps sending me you 'cuz he likes to tease me. That's all."

He stares at you and you stare back. A few seconds pass with quiet blinking before you realize you should say something.

"Oh."

Hyunjin groans, burying his beautiful face in his hands. You stare at his ashamed state, both pathetic and endearing. Truly, this isn't a big deal, but his dramatic reactions bring a small smile amidst the anxious atmosphere.

"So you think I'm pretty?" Hyunjin lets out a scoff, shaking his head at your question. "Is that really all you got from that?"

You shrug, but the smile on your lips still lingers. "Maybe. But that does sound annoying. I'm sure you get tired of looking at my pretty face all the time." Hyunjin laughs, finally picking his head up to look at you. His cheeks are flushed, his eyes like moon crescents. He gleams in the artificial lighting and it casts beautiful shadows on his features.

"Have you ever thought about getting back at Minho?"

Hyunjin stops his cheery laughter, eyes growing curious. He pinches his eyebrows together in thought, "I mean, does blocking count? Cuz if so, then yes."

You shake your head, lower lip caught between your teeth as a mischievous thought comes to mind. "I was thinking something a little more."

-

It's hard for Hyunjin to angle the camera at you. His hands keep shaking, the phone threatening to fall from his grasp right on your face. You're looking up at the lens from your knees, mouth full of cock. Your knees slightly ache from the bathroom tile floor, but you pay no mind. The main center of focus is quietly gagging on Hyunjin's length. That women's bathroom may be empty, but the sound of wet pops and smack echoes in the room rather embarrassingly. 

With a hard suck, you pull away from his cock. Hyunjin lets out a whine, hips shaking as you replace your mouth with your hand. 

"Are you getting my good angles?" You can't help but tease with swollen lips. Even in a messy state, he nods. You can't see his face, but you can see the black, tangled hair that moves. 

"Pretty," he chokes out as you pump him. " So so so pretty."

You flash your teeth at the camera, "Aw! Thanks. Do you think Minho will think so too?"

"Ye- Mmf!" He cuts himself off by pinching his lips. You've wrapped your lips around his girth again, sucking the tip while you stroke his shaft. He whines and whines, unable to stay quiet while staring at you through the phone. 

The video is wobbly but if he slows the footage down, he might be able to screenshot a few good frames. There's just something surreal about indirectly looking at your mouth take him inch by inch. It's like you're his personal pornstar, though he's keen on making sure little no one gets to see how good you look.

You relax the back of your throat, slowly pushing him deeper until his pubes barely tickle your nose. A soft gag comes from you, but you're determined on deep-throating him at least once. Hyunjin uses his free hand to brush a few strands from your face, coaxing you. You hum in appreciation and fit the last few bits.

Hyunjin's tip presses deep against the deepest part of you, pulsing from your tight throat. You can tell he's trying not to move, to fuck into your hot mouth to not overstimulate you. 

But he wants to. He can taste the orgasm on his tongue. So close, so warm, but you look so good with wide eyes. Tears brimming your lashes as you hollow your cheeks. 

Hyunjin moans, a long, drawled-out sound that makes him throw his head back. "Fuck. You're gonna make me cum." 

It's too difficult to speak, so you gently rock against his hips instead. As much as you would love for Hyunjin to bruise your mouth, this isn't the time. Right now, putting on a good show for the camera is your priority. To make sure you suck dick so good that Minho never bothers Hyunjin again with pictures.

His tip repeatedly hits the back of your throat, a little salty from the oozing precum. With one of your hands, you massage his balls. Hyunjin mewls at the sensation, toes curling in his shoes. His breath turns jagged, and now he can't help himself. His gentle hand turns rough as he reaches the back of your head. He makes a tight fist with your hair and drives his cock deep.

You gag, the tears finally falling from the relentless pace Hyunjin's set. He's already so close, you might as well let him use you.

"Look into the camera." Hyunjin's voice is rasp. While you were trying not to choke, your eyes were unfocused. Now you're trying desperately to look into the phone, mostly likely going cross-eyed from the force his his thrusts. 

His cock twitches in your mouth and you brace for the spurts of cum. Even as your prepare, you can't help the gurgled squeak you make on Hyunjin's cock at the salty release. He shoots his hot load down your throat, and all you can taste and feel is cum. Your hand tightens around his sack and they tense in your hold. 

He's moaning, panting like a dog behind the phone. Hyunjin gives a few more sloppy thrusts before pulling out, cum dribbling from the corner of your mouth. 

You groan as your throat empties, using your tongue to wipe the semen as Hyunjin's cock slowly goes down. Once the cum has collected, you flatten your tongue to give a good look to the camera before tucking your tongue in your mouth, swallowing.

"And, scene!"

note! I am in a but of a rut, but hopefully this'll help me get back on game!

[dinogoofymutated]

Wolverine/Fem!Reader - Masterlist link

You've met Logan Howlett in every life you've lived since the 1900s. And in every lifetime, fate rips you from him just as cruelly as it forces the two of you to meet. How many lives will it take for the two of you to finally have your happily ever after?

General TWs: Reincarnation, death, Major character death (multiple times), Angst with a happy ending. Controlling familiail behavior, descriptions of wounds, descriptions of war, descriptions of violence/death, childhood trauma. Possible historical inaccuracies.

Here's the first chapter!! I waassss gonna wait until I finished part two and post both at once but TBH I was desperate to get this out! I hope yall enjoy this, and I would like to remind everyone that I am not a nurse or any kind of medical personnel, and I kinda struggled to find out about the procedures of ww1 nurses, so take most of the nurse stuff with a grain of salt! like watching a dumbed down version of grey's anatomy lol. I'd also like to say that I decided to make Logan's healing factor slower during ww1 and ww2, as he hadn't gone through the Weapon X program yet. Chapter TWs: Blood, injury, childhood injuries in the prologue scene, war n shit, ww1 canada is a tw on it's own.

     October 22, 1900.

    “Andy!!”  Your brother rolls his eyes at the sound of your high-pitched voice calling his name, turning around with a frown. He always had been faster than you, and today was no different. He had gone running into the woods when your mother had called the two of you in for lunch, and ever the devoted little sister, you had chased after him before she could notice what the two of you were doing. You’re panting when you finally catch up to him, your skirts scrunched up in your fists as you try your best to keep them from catching on bushes and vines.

    “Where are you going? Mama’s calling us for lunch!” Neither of you was supposed to be on this side of the woods, past the fence that marked your family’s property. It made you nervous to be so far past the boundary. Your older brother scoffs at you, turning away once again as he continues to march further. 

    “Father told me that he had set bear traps out to keep the animals away from the house. I’m going to see if he’s caught anything.” Andrew says stubbornly. You rush ahead to try and keep up with him, staying close and looking around anxiously. You never had been a rule breaker, and this was just a little more adventurous than you were comfortable with.

    “Bears? You don’t think we’ll find any, do you? I don't want to see anything be hurt.” You whine, tears forming in your eyes. Your brother laughs at you, the same way did the time you brought some a dying bird, or the time you had begged father to spare the rabbit that had been digging in the garden. He never understood why you were so soft-hearted.

    “You’re going to need to be more brave if you’re going to be an adult one day. Cowards get killed.” Andrews teases, cackling wickedly as he steps on a branch and the sound of it snapping causes you to flinch and cry out, rushing forward to grab hold of his arm.

    “That’s not true!” You cry. 

    “Yeah, it is!” Andrew argues. There’s a bit of a ditch in front of the two of you, and he shakes you off before he hops down. He holds his hand out to help you navigate the drop, and you take it eagerly as you carefully get down, making sure not to dirty your skirts any more than they had been. 

    “No, it’s not! It’s not true! It’s not true because I have you, remember? Big brothers are supposed to protect their little sisters!” You persist once you’re finished. Andrew sighs again, but you don’t doubt his answer for a second. He rolls his eyes at you before he begins to walk on.

    “Of course I am. But you can’t expect me to get to you every time.” Andrew says. You’re about to refute that when the two of you hear a rustling in the bushes up ahead. Andrew holds out a hand to keep you behind him, stopping both of you in your tracks. The birds have stopped singing, and you know that it means something scary is about to happen. Dad calls it a bad oh-men or something along those lines, but you didn’t usually listen to him. Now you’re starting to wish you had.

    “Stay here. I think I hear something up ahead.” Andrew whispers to you. You try to grab for his arms as he leaves you, but he’s too far away, and you find your feet rooted to the spot. You’re too scared to move, holding your hands anxiously as you watch Andrew begin to stumble through the bushes cautiously. You don’t like this. You don’t like it at all. You can only see his head through once he’s through the thick of it, and you hear him huff in disappointment when he doesn’t find anything on the other side.

    “Never mind. There’s not even-” There’s a sound of a mechanical snap before Andrew falls to the ground with a scream. 

    “Andy!” You cry out, immediately bolting through the bush. Branches and briars get caught on your skirt and tear at your skin as you push through to get to him. Your brother is shouting and grunting in pain when you see him, tears dotting his eyes as he stares down at the sight of his ankle caught firmly between the teeth of a bear trap.

    “Stupid trap!” He cries out, his hands shaking from adrenaline. You don’t know what to do, standing frozen at the bloody sight before you, mind going back and forth between whether or not you should go to your brother or run home to get your parents.

     “Help me get it off!” Andrew shouts, and it’s enough to finally bring you back to the situation. You can only nod frantically as you kneel by his side. Hands shaking as you help your brother try and open the trap and get it off of him. The metal digs into your fingers as you try to pry it open, your brother grunting and crying with the effort to do so. You can only think of what your parents will say, what Andrew will do. What if it got infected? What if he lost his foot completely? You realize you’re crying as you and Andrew try with all your might to pull the trap open, grip beginning to slip on the contraption right as Andrew tugs his leg out of the trap. It snaps closed violently after, barely missing both of your fingertips as Andrew rolls away from it.

    “What- What do we do? Andy?” You ask, unable to do much but stare as your brother writes in pain. It’s all happening so fast, but god did everything feel so slow. Andrew manages to make out something about stopping the bleeding, and you’re right on it as you press your small hands to the bloody, mangled, flesh. You squeeze tightly as you pray and pray and pray for him to stop bleeding, shutting your eyes tightly as you sob and cry and wish you could do something, anything more to help your big brother.

    There’s a buzzy feeling in your hands, like pins and needles without the pain. You don’t see it happening as you sit there and bawl for your brother, his warm blood on your hands all you can manage to feel in the moment. The blood begins to slow, and slow, and you don't even realize it has stopped until everything seems to be just as quiet as before. You realize that Andrew isn’t crying anymore, and find yourself brave enough to cautiously open your eyes.

    To your surprise, you don’t see anything. 

    All there is is Andrew’s blood staining his ripped pants and both of your hands- but the strangest part of all was that there was no more wound. Not even a bruise remained of the bone-deep cuts that had been there just a moment before. Your tears begin to dry up as your eyebrows furrow, still hiccuping as you look on at the scene in confusion. When you look up at your brother, he’s wide-eyed. Staring at you in complete shock.

    “Was that you that did that?”  He asks. You don’t know what to say. You don't know. You begin to notice a soreness in your leg as the two of you sit there, simply staring at each other in shock. Eventually, Andrew swallows, before he tries to stand up, doing so effortlessly and without pain. He stretches and flexes his leg, moving it back and forth like his brain is still playing catch up. You try to follow his lead, only to cry out in pain and stumble. There's a deep purple bruise circling your leg when you raise your skirt, one that perfectly mimicked the bloody hole in Andrew’s pants where his own wound once had been.

    He carried you back home that day.

    The Great War began on July 28th, 1914. The archduke of Austria, Franz Ferdinand, had been assassinated, thus causing a series of events that spiraled into the worst war that the world had ever seen until that point. Your brother was quickly whisked away into the battle once the fight had started. He quickly advanced through the ranks, his ever-present charm and intelligence being a boon to him, and an asset to many others. He had always been the fighter. Your bother Andrew, your protector, and keeper of your secrets, now a general in the Canadian army. You could hardly believe it. 

    You, on the other hand, had begun to educate yourself at your brother’s behest. You became a nurse, finding yourself drawn to the field in the absence of the many men who had left mainland hospitals to go to war. You loved it. You loved helping people heal and survive, thrive even, but even so, you had become rather secretive about your natural gifts. Andrew, as supportive as he was, knew that the world would never accept powers like yours. As guilty as you felt every time a patient had slipped through the doctor’s fingers, you knew better. Your healing abilities took from you a fraction of what it gave to others, and using it was just not possible in large doses. You knew that and knew to listen to your brother’s warnings. Still, it did not stop you completely. Healing a wound or broken bone now and then in the shadows, where there was no one there to see. Miracles became your specialty, but your medical knowledge had become your backbone.

    At the end of April, you were surprised to receive a letter from your brother, the contents of it being a plea for you to join him in the war efforts. They needed nurses, trained, knowledgeable, nurses. You would be by his side as much as possible, but you were needed across the sea. And well, if it was your brother asking, who were you to refuse?

Novemver 2nd, 1917

    "You are to keep your medical supplies cleanly and well maintained. I understand that you aren't exactly green in this line of work, but let me tell you, you haven't seen war yet." The senior nurse in front of you has no time for fools, you have only known her for a moment, and yet you know this for a fact. Her pace is fast and purposeful. Her skirt is muddied and stained, and yet her boots do not seem to sink or stick in the mud like yours do as you try your best to keep up with her. Nurse Mary is strict in personality and pace, and you're careful to follow directly behind her throughout the busy encampment. 

Everyone seems to have something urgent to attend to, soldiers and nurses and medics alike all running about through the mud and dirt. There are many hospital tents, many more than you had originally anticipated. You begin to realize exactly why your brother had been so firm in instructing you to refrain from assisting any wounded beyond what help lies within sutures and gauze. 

    “How often do the wounded arrive?” You ask, following her into a rather large hospital tent and passing by various cots with wounded men.

    “You should expect them to arrive every day. The wounded are many, but the dead are more, god rest their souls.”  She tells you, one of her hands clutching the cross around her neck for a moment. There are many things you have learned throughout your schooling, and many gruesome sights you know to expect, but the one thing that still gave you chills was the death toll. You try not to think about it too hard, knowing that it’s just the truth of war that good men go to die. But that doesn’t mean you will ever be forced to be comfortable with it. You pass many rows of wounded soldiers as you follow her through, many being gravely injured with missing and mangled limbs, and shrapnel in places where it should never be. You keep your bedside manner in check, but you know half of those men won’t make it through the night.

    “We should be grateful for the men who return to our care, but please keep in mind that we are the only buffer between them and god. You must understand that losing these men isn’t an if, it’s a when.” You nod solemnly in response to her, quelling the anxiety in your heart. You knew very well that she was right. You casually look around the hospital tent, doing your best to help familiarise yourself with the surroundings when a puff of smoke catches your eye.

    You don’t know where to laugh or scold the man, brown eyes meeting your own as he quickly tries to hide the cigar. Nurse Mary clearly had not seen him, but you certainly did. You can’t help but smile in a baffled sort of way, and the soldier- the quite handsome soldier- smirks, shrugging his shoulders at you. You try not to laugh, choosing to simply shake your head instead of pointing it out to Nurse Mary. It’s something he clearly appreciates, and he tips his head at you, winking as you finally pass him by. You hope you’re not blushing, quickly looking away from him with a smile on your face that you couldn’t fight off.

    “Are you paying attention, Miss? Your brother spoke very highly of your skills, it would be a shame if it were all to be lies.” The nurse ahead of you says, a strict tone in her voice. It almost startles you, bringing you back to earth after the solid minute of distraction the brown-eyed soldier had caused. 

    “I- yes. I apologize. Please, continue.” You reply quickly. You can tell she’s not quite convinced but doesn’t have the time to care, reminding you that there would be little to no time to dally once you had been given decent instruction about the facilities. You’re eager to get to work, and decide that there would be no more distractions today- no matter how charming or handsome they seem to be.

—-

    You were assigned work the moment your walkthrough had been conducted. No downtime, no breaks. You wonder if you truly had any idea how bad things would be where you got here. Seeing the wounded was one thing, but reading their chart was another. You felt detached as you conducted physicals, changed bandages, and redressed wounds and cuts. You checked for infections in those with amputated limbs, knowing that death would soon come for those who were so unfortunate. The difference between any of the men was astounding- wounds from this war unlike any that you had ever seen before. You had heard of the new weapons, the horrors that geniuses had developed so that others would die. It pains you that someone could be so ignorant and cruel- and yet even you hope that you would never have to face those instruments of war.

   Out of all the strange and unusual wounds and war-torn soldiers you met on that day, there was only one who you remembered in truly remarkable detail.

    You see the puff of smoke before you see him, lounging on the backboard of his hospital cot without a care in the world. Besides some old bandages on his chest, you can tell that he’s not in any pain. To be honest, you start to wonder if he belongs in this infirmary at all. He’s distracted, cigar held up to his lips as he takes a deep inhale of the smoke, drowning out his senses with the nicotine. 

    “You must be feeling pretty confident to be breaking the only rule we have in here.” You say, raising an eyebrow at him. He chokes on the smoke rather suddenly, trying to recover as quickly as he can as he puts the cigar out. You give him a sweet smile, trying your best not to laugh. He smiles sort of unabashedly at you, shrugging. 

    “Can’t blame a man for tryin’.” He coughs. You shake your head at him, lifting some papers on your clipboard before you find the one assigned to his cot. Your eyes are immediately drawn to his list of past injuries and causes of infirmary visits. How is this man even alive?

    “Logan Howlett, I presume? You’re pretty perky for a man who has such a long list of injuries.” You state, still reading it through. You’ve never seen this many on one chart before- all dating from the very start of the war to his current visit. Logan gives you a shrug of his shoulders, which isn’t exactly a response you would prefer, but he smiles at you in a charming sort of way that makes your heart flutter. 

    “They call me Lucky Logan for a reason,” Logan hums- causing you to huff a laugh. You shake your head at him, setting the clipboard down on the edge of the bed before you begin conducting a physical and checking on his “wounds.”- not that there really was any besides an odd, yellowed bruise or two that you could almost swear seemed to be lightening by the minute.

    “ ‘You new here?” You glance up at him at the sound of his voice, smiling a bit out of politeness.

   “Why, Is it that easy to tell?” You ask, knowing that he certainly knew so due to him seeing you earlier, but you wonder for a moment if you seemed to be any different from the other nurses. You always strived to be good at what you do, but part of you had a tendency to worry if you could keep up with the others here.

    “Nah,” He says, bluntly. “I just think I’d remember if I had seen a pretty nurse like you before.”  The words make you gape for a moment, that smile still showing as you shake your head at him and try not to laugh. He was a flirt- a rather smooth one too. 

    “Do you use that line on all the ladies?” You tease as you pull out your stethoscope to listen to his heart. You listen, and besides the fact that his heart rate is a little faster than the regular average, you don’t seem to notice anything too strange.

    “Only the ones as pretty as you.” He says. You don’t hold back your laugh at that, and his genuine smile is definitely contagious. You check his eyesight and overall mobility one more time once you’re done, trying not to blush at the way he’s looking at you. You feel his gaze even when you step away to write on his chart, finishing things up.

    “Well, Mr. Howlett, you seem to have a perfect bill of health,” Logan perks up a bit at that, moving to where he can sit on the side of the cot, his feet on the ground. “...but I can’t completely release you just yet. You’re free to wander around some, but you’ll have to wait for the doc to give you one last look-over before you can go back to the frontlines.” He lets out a dramatic sigh, frowning for only a minute before he stands, winking at you as he grabs his shirt from underneath the cot- the bloodied one they wheeled him in here with, no doubt, and puts it on.

    “If that means I’ll be seeing you more often, I’ll take it.” He flirts. You laugh, knowing that you very well might have swooned if you had been any greener to this line of work. Instead, all you can really do is cringe at the sight of his shirt and lean down to the small table to his right, the one where his chart had been, and open the drawer, revealing a freshly clean set of clothes. 

    “Don’t get too ahead of yourself, Smokey.” You joke, finding his surprised face rather endearing. It only takes a moment before he’s smirking again, taking the clothes from you and doing a mock toast to you with the cloth. You shake your head at him, trying to keep your smile contained as you walk away from him and over to your next patient.

    You find yourself thinking about him throughout the day, both delighted and somewhat frustrated at yourself for swooning so easily over a soldier- on your first day, too. You had told yourself when you took this job that you would never do such a thing, knowing that so many romances in a time like this end in tragedy- but you certainly couldn’t seem to help it. You think about him when the other nurses talk about their personal soldiers, out there fighting the war, and think about him again before you go to bed. It was frustrating! You met a man and knew him a whole ten minutes before swooning like a schoolgirl. You suppose it felt nice to be wanted nonetheless and felt nice to be complemented by someone you found so handsome… But you didn’t need to be thinking so hard about this right now anyway. You roll over onto your side in your bed, hoping to fall asleep soon instead of spending time thinking about something that won’t happen.

    Besides, there wasn’t a chance in hell that your brother would ever approve of any relationship you had with a soldier. You were sure that if he had his way, you would die as a spinster- forever reliant on the family. Your dreams that night are more like nightmares, dreaming of faces and growing old and rocking in a chair alone in your brother’s house, a burden to his finances, his wife, and children. But then there are some dreams where you see the face of one particular soldier, and wonder why you felt so compelled by him.

[11rosebunny]

Asking you to be their s/o (SAKURA, UMEMIYA)

‼️ MANGA SPOILERS FOR UMEMIYA, I RECOMMEND YOU DONT READ HIS HEADCANNON IF YOU'RE AN ANIME WATCHER, HIS SECTION DROPS LOTS OF SPOILERS!! ‼️

Haruka Sakura

He is extremely nervous when asking. He learned from the help of Suo and Hiragi that he must be the one to ask. Suo said it helps to swoon the woman even more but Hiragi simply insulted him that if you don't ask first he's a wimp.

His palms, head, hands, back was drenched with sweat. He wanted to make it perfect, well, he tried to at least.

First he took you out on a date, you weren't even aware it was because of how long you two have been going out together. He brought you to a cafe, paid for your food, you two checked out the claw machines and he even won you some plushies that you couldn't wait to get your hands on, and finally, he brought you to his house for the first time ever.

You found it a bit funny of how empty it was. He invited you to stay for dinner and now you two found yourself eating ramen on the floor, and afterwards talking about how the day went. This was when he started to get nervous, you two were at the balcony watching the sunset, it was quiet and the only sounds were either him or you speaking and the sounds of a cicada bug.

Then it got quiet.

It was getting late and you figured it was time to go, but something in the air burned the tip of your nose, you could smell something coming and you didn't dare to look back at him. The tension began to grow thicker, and the both of you knew that, it seemed like he was now too close to you, you could smell his minty aroma, and the way his breathing started to grow rapid.

Something was coming.

"...[Name]...?"

You nearly wanted to jump right off the balcony when he said your name after a long moment of silence. You hummed.

"Yeah?"

There it was again, silence. By this time, it was getting even more darker, and you took this chance to glance at him to see if he noticed, but as soon as you did, you realized he had been already staring at you when the both of you locked eye contact.

The two of you turned away in a flash, with wide eyes and heat covering your face. He knows, and you know.

"...I, I wanted to say, uh..." He began.

His eyes were darting all over the place, he has to face you, he should face you. His face then turned to yours, and he noticed you stared off into the distance nervously.

His face began to falter, and blush covered his cheeks. This time, your breathing went rugged as you tried your best to hold yourself together, otherwise you'd fold the moment you turned and looked at him. Your eyes slowly shifted towards his making him jump on spot but shook away his jitters and continued with what he was saying.

"I, I really had fun today, and um, I hope you did too," He paused looking around trying to figure out what to say. He should've prepared even more.

You hum again, "Yes?"

"And! A-and, I hope we have more dates like this..."

You shot your body towards his unexpectedly making him go even redder. Now that you two were face to face, none of you could escape this, "Dates?"

"Ahh, y-yeah?"

"As in, we're dating...?"

The image of his head nearly falling off, his eyes widened and he shuffled back caught off guard, "Y-you're, stop it!"

"What?"

"...H, I-I'm supposed to be asking..."

"Asking what...?"

"...I, ugh!"

"?"

"Will you be my girlfriend?!" His voice echoed from the impact of his shouting. You stood there in utter shock, now that his words were finally out, the two of you stared at each other as of you took a bath in lava, both your eyes were so wide that your eyeballs could fall out any second, all while looking back at each other with you breathing beating out of your chest.

"...Yes, I want to be your..." Your voice paused as his expression turned to disbelief.

"Girlfriend."

Hajime Umemiya

He's never dated anyone in his entire life. He has a reason behind that though.

Growing up alone and being raised in an orphanage for the majority of his adolescent years, he's grown accustomed of treating everyone equally as he never wants anyone to feel the way he did when he was younger.

Even so, he's rejected a few girls on his roster, and ended up friend zoning them. It was hard to get him to fall for anyone, so when he finally finds a girl that he's interested in, this is one of the many few moments he doesn't know what to do. He's stumped.

He's been good friends with you for quite some time, if not he was probably the closest person to you at Bofurin, and he made sure of that. He knew he already had an upper hand with you and chances are, you wouldn't reject him, so why is he now losing his marbles whenever the thought of him confessing to you makes him all jittery?

He asks you to meet him up at the garden like he usually does, it was one of his many sly tactics to get you to hang out with him and it worked like a charm. What the both of you didn't know, on the forecast, it was expected to rain in an hour, the clouds began to grow darker in shade, as the sun was no longer seen and before the two of you knew it, it began to rain.

It was great for the plants you two had just tender, that meant you didn't have to spend more time to water them, but this caused the both of you to hurriedly run to all the pots of veggies that were under a ceiling and drag them into the open where water would hit them. The two of you were laughing while doing so, the both of you looked absolutely insane just running in the pouring rain in hopes to water your plants. His shirt was soaked, his hair was now damp and flat unlike his natural flowing hair. You discarded your uniform since it was just you two out, the white shirt you wore was now starting to become see-through just like his, your feminine features began to show, and the shorts you wore were thigh length.

But even after getting all the plants out in the open, the two of you started to play in the rain on the roof top.

It started with you simply getting the pint of water and splashing it on his back when he was crouching down to place down the last pot. Seeing that the both of you were already drenched from head to toe, you might as well just make him even more wet since there would be no difference.

He jumped at first and whipped his head around and saw you began to run back to one of the sheds and began to collect the rain water that was falling from one of the ridges from the roof of the shed to pour it back on him. He took off his shoes because they were already filled with water, you quickly did the same thing before running off to defend yourself as you held onto the now heavy pint of water as he retrieved a metal bucket instead making you scream out laughing.

The two of you were laughing so much and screaming whenever one of you were able to splash water on each other. The rooftop floor was surrounded by water, it was amazing how much there was, which caused Umemiya to slip and fall unexpectedly as you watched him collapse backwards and hit his back harshly on the wet floor. You gasped in concern. The fall indeed looked painful and you immediately dropped the plastic pint in your hands and rushed to where he was laying down flat on the ground, he had a hand on his head and the other on his chest as his face turned into a scowl with his eyes shut closed.

"Umemiya, are you okay?!" You asked right away. You bent down and began to hear his groaning and hissing sounds and reached out an arm to check on him.

Then suddenly, the scene of the grey-haired man in pain turned into a cheeky smile as his eyes opened back up and quickly grasped the arm you held up and pulled you down to crash onto his chest.

You screamed when it happened and he only laughed manically as you began to scold him for faking his reaction.

Your arms began to try to pry his hold off, but he only gripped you tighter, "You are such faker!"

"Sorry [Name], couldn't help myself, I had to get back at you!" He defended himself. The two of you were practically wrestling each other by now. Your pleas and attempts to escape his grip staggered, it was breathtaking to use force compared with his sheer strength. So when you finally gave up, you called quits and rested your head on his chest, the both of you breathing heavily. He loosened his grip on you when he finally realized you weren't going to struggle anymore, but even so, he kept his arms around you as you listened to his heart beat.

It was slow and condemned, it was almost soothing to hear. The rain didn't seem to stop as you two laid under the grey clouds. It wasn't a cold type of rain, in fact it even felt warm. Or was it warm because he was there with you?

You shifted your head to look up at him and noticed he was now resting, enjoying the droplets of rain falling on the two of you. You smiled.

"Why do you look so happy?" You asked. He then opened his eyes to look at you. He used his arms and carried you surprisingly so you'd be face to face with him. Your face covered his from the rain as you weren't expecting to be this close to him, but here you were, practically on top of Hajime Umemiya with both your legs on each side of his torso. His hands rested on the plush of your things making your arms shake that were placed on each side of his face.

He then smiled making your expression stumbled, "Because you're here with me," He said, softly looking back into your eyes.

"I'm glad," You responded unsure where he was going with this.

This time, his breathing went staggered as his eyes flickered between your eyes and lips.

"I wish you could always be here."

The sudden words that fell out his mouth made you widen your eyes. Silence filled the both of you. You weren't expecting something so taboo from the man right in front of you. Romance seemed like it was never on his to do list at all, so when the words of his wish to be with you all the time, there's no question about what he meant. Because even you understood what he was implying.

"Umemiya?" You questioned still in shock from his reaction.

The look in his eyes drove you insane. It wasn't something you've never seen before, he looked like he needed something so bad, like it was something he needed to function for the rest of his entire life. So when he looked back at you with those damming eyes, you knew what was coming.

"Please, stay with me."

[inbabylontheywept]

your life stories are always so interesting so i shall poke a stick into the cage and ask for more. do you have any fun stories of near death experiences? personally i choked on a lifesaver as a child and could not breathe

personally? not really. ive got a pretty decent hospital story though.

see, my grandpa was in charge of the easter pageant in my state. its a big mormon thing, a lot of other churches come because its just good easter worship. anyway, in part of the pageant, theres a pony for jesus and mary to ride around on. technically supposed to be a donkey, but ponys are just so much more photogenic. anyway this happened when my little sister was going through her little-girl-pony phase, so this was so major-league shit to her. so much so that my grandpa, who i still miss so much, brought this pony to our house so she could ride it.

my little brother? he also wanted to ride it. and i didnt really want to ride it, but they were both so small someone kind of needed to hold those two onboard, and i was the lighest person capable of doing so, (didnt want to overload the pony) so i went on the back too.

and it was a stellar time until the donkey went under a tree, then my little sister hit her head on a branch and fell left, and her fall took my little brother out because he was holding onto her, and both of them took me out, so we all fell off the pony, but me with 2 kids on my left arm.

god blessed me with a third elbow that day.

here are the things that followed after the Miracle of the Third Elbow

my autistic dad came outside to check on me. id broken my arm the year before, so i knew what it was, and i knew what it felt like, so i was able to pretty clearly go "yeah, dad, i broke my arm." and he was able to go "whew. yeah. thats like, harry potter broken." and i was able to say "yeah. yeah it hurts pretty bad." and he said "oh, yeah, definitely. that looks horrible." and then i basically said something like "hopital" and he was like "right" and then we left. my memory after that gets weird.

i can remember driving up main street, and seeing this guy dancing. like, full on dancing down the street. and i asked my dad about why that guy was dancing, and he said that man was a schizophrenic, and he was medicated, but the medication had just made it so that his voices told him to dance instead of hurt himself. now he danced all the time. i should clarify that my dad worked in the ER so he knew a lot of the local homeless on a life-story kind of level. my dads a good guy.

i can remember sitting in the waiting room with a magician that had sliced his right hand open pretty bad while cooking. he was trying his best to keep us entertained with his cards, but because he was doing all his tricks left handed, he'd mess them up sometimes and it was actually kind of more fun to watch than just him in expert mode. another good guy. very friendly, but visibly repulsed by my arm.

i can remember being in a bed, and a nurse coming up to me and saying that they could give me some painkillers, which i was super stoked about, but the IV from the painkillers basically required being stabbed with a needle as thick around as a pencil. she recomended saying the alphabet backwards when she put the needle in, and i said i didn't know how, and then she stuck in the needle in. over 4 seconds i was able to go from z to c, a feat i have never since been able to replicate.

after the painkillers, i watched a tv show called Jackie Chan Adventures, which was an animated cartoon with an animated Jackie Chan, voiced by the real Jackie Chan, solving mysteries. i actually assumed that whole thing was a hallucination until i was an adult, and i was describing it to my wife, and she was like "no, that actually happened." which was funny to happen to me, because when me and her started dating, she just kind of dropped how awesome it was that obama was the first muslim president, and i was like what, no hes an episcopalian, and it turns out that her dad, who sucks for many reasons, had told her that obama was a muslim, and she was sweet enough to believe that, and also to just be like oh, neat, our president is black and a muslim, we are truly moving forward as a counry." i love her so much.

no memories of it after that. not even sure when i got home. just a straight up weird time.

[headspace-hotel]

I've been thinking about something for months now but I haven't posted it because I know it's going to be a magnet for bad faith readings.

You know how using ecology terminology to talk about machines, objects, other man-made things etc. and referring to vehicles or other man-made devices as "animals"/as if they're alive has been a meme for a few years and isn't going away?

It feels like it provides a commentary on how our daily surroundings are mostly not alive.

The default state for the human species has been to be constantly surrounded by animals and plants for all but a tiny fraction of our history. And, yeah, naturalistic fallacy and all that, but it's overwhelmingly supported by evidence that being around plants, animals, and natural ecosystems generally has strong positive effects on the human body, mind, and emotions. Every day there's another study that says "Listening to bird song improves your health! Looking at a tree improves your health!"

Okay, consider all humans that have ever lived and died on Earth. For the vast vast majority listening to bird song and looking at a tree (or relevant plant life) was the default option. You couldn't even explain those studies to your distant ancestors.

Memes, like any form of humor or cultural production, contain meaning. It's funny to refer to a bus as an animal or a chain store as a biome—but why?

So has anyone else started to find these memes just really...sad? They're sad to me nowadays! It's hard to explain, but I feel like i'm looking at a human in an underground bunker on Mars taping wrappers of their Corporate Snack Ration Bars to a straw and putting it in a pot on their desk saying "It's a flower...like on Earth...🥲"

I don't necessarily believe humans are hardwired to interact with their world in a certain way because of "the environment we evolved in" outside of a few basic things. But on a gut level, I think to myself, of course a human would look at a normal sized water bottle and a small water bottle next to it and go "oh...it's a mama and a baby..." because we've had things all around us that produce babies of that thing practically ever since we became multicellular!

I'm constantly seeing people humorously assigning aliveness to objects and environments we interact with daily, and i'm like "no...no, don't do that...take my hand, come with me, it can be better..."

[i-cant-sing]

What are your thoughts on the yandere haikyuu teams x their manager?

Boring. I need some spice in it. How about-

Yandere Daichi as a cop and his darling is a civilian and now he's so obsessed with her that he murders her husband, frames him as a criminal and will literally stop at nothing to get darling in his arms because again... who will suspect good old, everybody's best bud COP Daichi to be able to do heinous crimes???

Yandere Sugawara as a psychiatrist because come on- he gives major "master manipulator" vibes and now he's obsessed with his darling patient and will continue to do malpractice and gaslight her and prescribe her all the wrong meds until she loses it and he gets to admit it her under his "special care" and now he can play with her mind all day long🤍

Yandere Oikawa is now a pro volleyball athlete and he just saw Ushijima's little sis, the same one he used to bully and even rejected (and ofc, HUMILIATED) when she confessed to him back in highschool. But now Oikawa's obsessed with her and also still hates his nemesis Ushijima, so what's better than killing two birds with one stone??? And Oikawa still has a very devoted fanclub, only now it's larger and more powerful than ever so now he uses them and his socials to peer pressure you into dating him and eventually, marrying him because he ain't getting any younger honey and he needs some cute babies out of you ASAP.

Yandere Kuroo who is the smart IT tech guy at your office but in reality, he has his own cyber security company that he uses to spy on you, controls your entire life through your socials and don't even get me started on your online banking shit. If its any consolation, he's very rich so... yeah. He may not look like a million bucks, but he does have them. In several offshore accounts.

Yandere Kita who somehow ended up as a mafia leader, probably inherited it as family business and he has like severe OCD so he wants everything done to perfection or so help you, you will 1000% end up 6 feet under. Mafia Kita who has this vision of you being the perfect wife, solely based om the one time you offered him your handkerchiefs because he had a nosebleed from stressing too much and now Kita thinks you're an absolute angel and he wont let you destroy that fantasy of his. Seriously. He will pick out your outfits, tell you how to act and all, punish you if he must, but he does love you.

Yandere Ushijima who is a farmer and has decided that the reader whose car broke down and came to his door asking for help, will now be his wife and be a countryside mom to many kids (u can't say no, okay? He wants a big family) and animals! But hey, he's a very caring husband and will massage your feet, give you baths and feed you his homegrown veggies and meals daily once you are round with his babies🥺

Yandere Bokuto who is now a popular politician and he needs an obedient wife to keep up appearances and play the "family man" image up. So he decides to threaten reader who had a one night stand with him, and Bokuto somehow has very intimate images and videos of you and he uses them to get you to marry him. And now he controls every aspect of your life and tells you to do exactly as he says, and he abuses this privilege more as he gets more powerful and you could only imagine the horrors he would inflict on you if he does actually win elections, but you can't run away because again- he has eyes and contacts everywhere.

[zzztlk]

rabel’s design meshes classic demon stuff with cool fruit and plant theming really well! How’d you come up with it?

Ty.. he's gone through many phases of overdesign and underdesign and eventually he'll change again I'm sure but I can tell you about how he became the funny animal with a fruit at the end of his tail he is today under the cut

The main basis for his design (and the visuals of ttb in general) is the devil and lovers tarot cards. A major theme in both of these cards is the juxtaposition of opposites (man vs woman, mountain vs river and the burning tree of life vs. the fruitful tree of knowledge). So yeah that's where the fruit + fire thing came from. In a previous iteration his tail flourish was a combination of those seen on the figures in the devil card. I still think it's cute but I made it a fig since that's the fruit I'm using in the story.

Fun fact 1: the forbidden fruit is based off the strangler fig specifically which is what the tendrils in the teaser are. (Also the plants coming from the portal are trees of heaven and monsteras)

Similarly the image of baphomet, which is often associated with the devil, echoes this theme of the unification of binary elements. So his incarnate form is based largely off of that along with the demon pazuzu (bc exorcist reference).

Still settling on a version I like but here are some recent explorations (fun fact 2: The specific animals in Rabel's design are a wolf, goat, snake and Asian koel/cuckoo bird. Will elaborate on that last one another day)

Also the sun is a third element I incorporated as a bridge trait to join the fire and plant aspects but it gets too much into abilities and spoilers and stuff but like, you know what the sun does. Anyway that's it for now if you read all this thanks for reading :P

[kookies2000]

TADC Actor AU

An AU where the characters are actors, Roger Rabbit style. We had fun in the Bunny Doll Burrow.

Characters list

Pomni 📖

A quiet girl who writes books in her free time. She started her career on TV in Japan, where she was born. She was under contract to do commercials and modeling until she moved to the USA to study accounting. She meets Caine when he opens an account with her. Thanks to him, she gets into show business again in a much healthier manner. Helping in commercials again and smaller roles in films. After she and Caine get married, he helps her get her first major role as the Jester in The Amazing Digital Circus series.

Caine ⭐️

Was born into show business. Literally, his mom went into labor in the middle of a circus act, and she had to birth him inside the pool behind the circus tent. His family owns a circus in Vegas and is known as the most glamorous family in Nevada. Because of this, he started as a child star and learned how to maintain a healthy work environment for performers thanks to his family. His family hired Bubble to be his agent when Caine turned 18. Because of his impressive record in show business, bright and happy personality, he is a well-known A tier actor. He agreed to play the ringmaster in TADC as long as his wife, Pomni, can have an audition.

Ragatha 🎀

Super kind and sweet. Started show business in college with her best friend Kaufmo. The two were close and did auditions together. She is mostly known for smaller films that are very artsy. Those 3 hour long films that have a hidden meaning? Yeah, she likes doing those kinds of films. Art runs in her vains, and she doesn't care much about how much money she gains. As long as she has enough to get by in life and does what she enjoys, she is happy. She does modeling thanks to Kaufmo, acting like a part-time agent for her. One day, Kaufmo calls her up about a role he's auditioning for in TADC and convinces her to audition. At the auditions, she meets a bunny who is also auditioning for the role Kaufmo is auditioning for. She gets the role, and so does Kaufmo. Until one rainy day, they get into a car crash, causing Kaufmos death.

Jax 🐰

A ball of fluff with an ego. He is well loved by many actors and others in the show business. He helps out mostly backstage as an understudy on Broadway, stunt double, and a vocal and actor coach. He helped and taught famous actors like Angel Dust from Hazbin Hotel, Rocky from Lackadaisy, and N from Murder Drones. His students describe him as a fun, whacky, and kind guy. He does impressions, too. He substituted for Angel Dust's voice in the song Addiction when he was sick. And he substituted other lines for other stars when they couldn't. Like when Rocky was recovering from vocal surgery, Jax took over and did the monologue Rocky does while he throws dynamite. Jax auditioned to be the bully in TADC and met a kind doll. But he didn't get the part that day. Until a month later, he gets a call that they are recasting, and he got the part. Tadc will be his first major role in his career, and he's beyond excited to be a part of it.

Gangel 🎭

A steamer and a theater kid since middle school. She streams video games, reactions, and acting/singing tips. Her goal is to get to 1 million followers on her platforms and have fun. She was bullied as a kid and just wants to make others happy. She gets help from her fiancé Zooble in her streams. She loves posting everything she does and gets over excited by everything. Her favorite things to react to are anime shows, and she loves video games. One day, she hears about the auditions for TADC and rushes Zooble to audition with her. Zoobel refuses to audition and just takes Gangel. Gangel gets a part, and she streams it right away. She has trouble keeping secrets, by the way. She'll most likely post about anything by accident.

Zooble 🔺️

Tattoo artist and owns her own shop. She was never interested in acting or singing. They were always bullied for looking different than most toons. Very quiet, camera shy, and keeps to themselves. Until someone makes fun of Gangel. They are super supportive of their fiancé and help Gangel whenever they can. They aren't afraid to go internet warrior mode if they see someone picking on Gangel. One day, Gangel begs them to take her to the auditions for TADC. At the studio, the ones in charge automatically take a liking to Zoobles unique look. Mentioning how it matches the circus theme. They wanted to create a role just for them, but Zooble tried to reject the offer. Until Gangel convinces them.

Kinger ♟️

Both a director and actor with his wife Queenie. He is a family man and makes some of the best movies. He loves musicals and helps with soundtracks. He started doing show business in his mid twenties when he found a talent in storytelling and started making scripts. Step by step, he became a director and actor. He didn't really audition for TADC. They called him up if he could help write the show, and he just somehow ended up in the show when they couldn't find a good fit for the role of Loony Man.

Bubbel 🫧

Part time agent, part time fashion designer and full time drag queen. Enough said.