#buttzilla

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic #660 - "Land of the Giants"

Originally posted on September 10th, 2012

Story - Wout Jut Art - ButtZilla

deviantART | Seibertron | TFW2005

wada sez: This Wout Jut strip survives on the Mosaic deviantART gallery, for whatever reason. Like Don Figueroa’s extra pages for IDW’s The Transformers: The Movie adaptation, this strip is intended to explain why many of the heavy-hitters from both sides were absent from the events of the film; the real-world reason is that the film’s production began before that of the second season of the cartoon, so many characters simply weren’t a factor at the time. If that little Streetwise panel looks familiar, well, it’s because it turns out ButtZilla swiped his own artwork, from his previous strip “Discrete Conduct”! Which, if you check out, you’ll realise was already swiped from literally the preceding panel, just with his mouth closed. Making this what, double-swiped? See below for closeups of the characters from the final panel!

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls- Season 2, Episode 22 (Last Episode of the Season). "I Can't Get Started" Part 1

This episode may just be the ultimate game of memory roulette, because I remember nothing. Zero. Nada. Zilch. Zippo. except these two things:

I am told this episode involves a Lorelai-Crusty hookup and I have no recollection of that whatsoever. The mind has a way of bleaching itself sometimes. Can't wait to be retraumatized! The episode begins with Sookie playing wedding music choices for her coworkers and everyone falls asleep listening to the depressing songs she picked. Leave my girl Sookie and her emo music alone. She lives in Stars Hollow, of course she can relate to songs about pain, depression and misery.

Emily the Strange, seen on Rory's cast.

My conflicting emotions as I think about how Season 3 brings Jess to the forefront (that's good) but he rarely knows a moment's peace (that's bad) and in the blink of an eye we lose him to the California Wormhole (that's bad) but it also temporarily sidelines Dean (that's good) but it brings Crusty back (that's bad) but there's the debut of Dave Rygalski (that's good) but in the blink of an eye we also lose Dave Rygalski to the California Wormhole (that's bad) then we meet Alex who is cool and also hot (that's good) but then he disappears forever (wormhole?) and Max briefly returns from the California Wormhole (meh?) When Michel complains about the drudgery of wedding preparations, Lorelai reminds him she's in Sookie's wedding party so he has to oversee the entire wedding by himself, which is something he's never done before. Excuse me? Why don't you hire some more staff Lorelai, you fucking cheapskate. (We also learn later on that Sookie's catering her own wedding. WHAT? I know Sookie is a perfectionist when it comes to food but that's fucking bonkers). Rory offers to brainstorm with Lane to come up with wedding songs for Sookie and she agrees to let them do it because letting teenagers pick the music for the most important day of your life is a smart idea. This is where I realized I have no idea what kind of music Rory is actually into except that she has expressed she doesn't like the pop music/boybands of the day, which is fine. I just hope Rory wasn't one of those super annoying kids in school who were always coming up to me saying things like "You know, the Backstreet Boys don't play their own instruments." I was well aware. Anyway, Lane was definitely one of those types, as we see it happen on the show frequently, but as for Rory, that one is maybe up for debate.

Sookie asks Lorelai if she wants to invite Emily and Richard to the wedding. Uhh, may I ask why? Just 5 episodes ago, Emily was meddling in the wedding planning and blew up Sookie's budget and Lorelai had to intervene so she wouldn't go bankrupt. That's about the extent of any significant interaction between the Gilmore Grands and Sookie. After that mess, why would Sookie want her there? Sookie's all "Ah, that ol "almost bankrupted me" thing. She was so thoughtful to help me with the planning! Even though it was nothing more than a passive aggressive scheme to stick it to you for never getting married. She made me realize I love the color pink!" And then she giggles away the deep seated pain that anyone so relentlessly cheerful and forgiving has to be holding deep inside. Something historic just happened: I watched the Intro, instead of skipping it, which is something I haven't done in years. Let it be known I have nothing against the intro nor the song, and they're very nice and heartwarming, but I'm just not an intro girl. But I've been pretty down in the dumps and the theme song is like a warm cup of cocoa. It might behoove me to watch the opening credits once in a while so I know when to expect Dean, Crusty and other creatures from the deep.

More fine work from the Gilmore Girls fake food designer. Looks delish. She's still wearing that fucking quarter on a string, god damn. Rory is pestering Butthead to trade his pancakes for her fruit and egg platter.

You know, sometimes I start writing a joke, then realize it was funny, but it didn't make any sense and I have to scrap it, which makes me sad. Sometimes I don't even notice it after I've already posted and have to do a quick deletion (it just happened with LGD, in fact). Today, you're in for a treat because I'm going to give you one of my bloopers. Rory is incessantly asking Dean for his opinion on the pancakes. I decided she had poisoned them and she was monitoring his reactions, like when his breathing would start to become labored, or if he started to foam at the mouth, or if he would say something like that "huh, these pancakes taste kinda metallic." and then he would keel over. But then I remember they are at Luke's and she didn't cook the pancakes. But she could have sprinkled some rat poison on top of it when he had his back turned. I'm 100% convinced Lindsay had tried unsuccessfully to poison his meatloaf.

Oh no, they traded breakfasts. Eat AROUND the poison sprinkles, Rory. Rory and Buttzilla are observing someone who is repeatedly walking back and forth in front of the diner without coming in. *Sniffs the air* I smell unhealthy boundaries. It must be Lorelai.

I actually forgot that Luke and Lorelai were still "fighting". In fact, I just realized there was no Luke whatsoever in the previous episode. Okay, okay! I plum forgot about Luke completely! Anyway, can we please resolve this nonsense before season 3? How is Lorelai hooking up with Crusty going to end this stalemate?

Ya'll, she really blurted out "Dean don't leave me", not "Don't leave me, guys" or "Rory don't leave me." I CAN’T! I'm dying! Poor Rory, shows where she really ranks on the list of her mother's priorities. Anyways, sucks to suck Lorelai, good luck with solving this fucking mess completely of your own making.

lolbye

That's a wild under-exaggeration for how you acted after that car crash. Just wild.

There is no quicker way to get Lorelai’s goat than to act Pleasant Neutral towards her and not entertain her quirkiness! it is aggravating her to no end that Luke isn’t entertaining her stupid doughnut jokes! Hahahahaha! He isn’t groveling at her feet over her half baked fake bullshit apologies either. Sucks to suck Lore! Luke being so indifferent to Lorelai's bullshit is glorious, no one has ever deserved it more.

Meanwhile, Paris is running for student council president. Her campaign promises include mandatory recycling, clearly gendered bathrooms and gluten free options in the cafeteria (hey, as long as Rory can still order her favorite Chilton lunch, The Prison Special, two slices of white bread with nothing in the middle). After Madeline and Louise poll 150 students in the span of about 1 minute, the results are in: While the People think she would make a competent politican, nobody actually likes her. So she strong arms a very reluctant Rory into becoming her running mate. Paris feels Rory's nice girl image will soften her own. She puts the fear of God into Rory that she will end up going to Connecticut State instead of Harvard if she doesn't take this opportunity to pad her college resume with school politics. I mean, she's not wrong. Rory is still pitifully lacking in extra cirricular activities. Until they showed Rory writing in the audience, I had completely forgotten she was already on the school newspaper because it hasn't been mentioned in ages. And now I just remembered that horrid school newspaper storyline in s3 is approaching. The one with the redheaded mean girl, Francie. Ugh! S3 is going to be such a rollercoaster. Wait, isn't Connecticut State where Dean was considering going to school? Heheh.

Out of context Gilmore Girls.

Hmmm.

You know who else AmyShermanPalladino said this about?

AmyShermanPalladino wrote Paris to adore Rory as much she adores Milo, I'm just saying. Rory is getting her cast off.

Emily Strange again...

SECURITY!!!! No, but what kind of medical office is this where anyone can just barge in to a child’s appointment and be like "it's okay I'm the Dad" and the Dr is like “sure I believe you have a seat”. Not like Crusty is ever around that the doctor would recognize him. He drove down all the way from Boston to watch Rory have her cast cut off but can't be present for anything important? Alright. Anything to get into Lore’s pants I guess.

Yeah. Love is in the air at their child’s medical appointment.

Their nauseating attraction clouded their minds enough that they both resisted the urge to get in one last jab about Jess being the cause of Rory's injury. Miraculous.

Hur hur hur! You're so funny! Drink drain cleaner.

Honestly? They deserve each other. R: “If I become vice president, I'll have to spend my summer at some junior leadership program in Washington."

Oh, you would HATE That.

[stevieraykwon]

Today's doodle, with some help from my 6 year old daughter, Amelia. Buttzilla! #godzilla #doodle #drawing #buttzilla #dinosaur #penandinkdrawing #sketch #sketchbook #funny #cartoon

[badkidsjokes]

who destroy the city buttzilla

[hujle]

Monoe as Buttzilla, ur thoughts?

[jeffgerstmann]

aew should tell billy gunn he can't use his name anymore and call him 'billy assman'. not like ass man though, but like assmin. our names are not a joke

I think they should go the other way with it and start calling him “Buttzilla” or something.

[0alienvspredator0]

https://www.deviantart.com/buttzilla/art/Predator-Scan-48677565

[transformers-mosaic]

Transformers: Mosaic #599 - "Discrete Conduct"

Originally posted on May 9th, 2011

Story - Luke Barnett Art - ButtZilla

deviantART | Seibertron | TFW2005

wada sez: Most of the comments on this strip served to point out that the writer really meant the word “Discreet”, not “Discrete”. Presumably this was because the actual plot and content of this strip is basically impossible to follow. See below for some clean panels and a character model for Quickmix.

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls-Season 2, Episode 3 ("Red Light On The Wedding Night")

Don't forget to visit the Denise Rewatches Gilmore Girls tag for all of my past reviews! Rory: Mom, the house is burning down, and you can save the cake or me, what do you choose? Lorelai: Well, the cake doesn't have legs. Rory In A Later Episode: Mom, the house is burning down and you can save Jess or your shoes, what do you save? Lorelai: That depends, did he start the fire? So what's up with Rory and this very specific hypothetical about her house burning down, incinerating herself and her loved ones, and Lorelai's nonchalant responses?

Kirk Job: Wedding Photographer

Is this how Milo Ventimiglia talks on dates? This is definitely how Milo Ventimiglia talks on dates.

M&L: "Are you ready for me?" "I'm always ready for you." "Full time?" "I insist." Gross. Lorelai casually mentions that Max will be moving in *cough* No he Wont* *cough* so at least they had that discussion. Dean and Rory are walking and talking about what movies to watch and apparently Rory has seen several movies where someone "does something disgusting with a cow". What the hell kind of tapes are they carrying at Stars Hollow Video, exactly? Also who the hell do these two they think they are, Jess and Rory in Season 3, Episode 18, Happy Birthday Baby? Walking hand in hand while talking about movies? Luckily Lane is nowhere to be found to call them a cute agoraphobic couple. Can we also talk about Rory's obsession with making her boyfriends go on double dates with her mother? Another case for Rory desperately needing another friend her own age, one who's actually allowed to leave the house and interact with the opposite sex. I heard that Lindsay Lister is a nice gal. Dean will eventually go on at least two double dates with Lorelai that I can recall. Three if you count that episode where they watched Willy Wonka. There's this episode and another with Luke in season 5, the one with the Bop It (and what a great scene it was, because Luke was really sick of Dean's shit at that point). Then Rory/Logan Lorelai/Luke go to Martha's Vineyard (isn't this one of the most hated episodes of the entire series?) Poor Luke and Max just want some special grown up alone time with Lorelai without her daughter and her boyfriends getting in the way. I'm telling you once more that the men of Stars Hollow would all be a lot less cranky if handjobs were given more freely. Now there's a town event that everyone could get behind (or in front of). Dean and Rory also have a secondary, looong, pointless discussion about the precise date of their anniversary (since they keep breaking up and geting back together). Why do I feel a sense of DeJaVu? It's because a walk-n-talk discussion about the precise date of their anniversary already happened once before.

Between the Donna Reed dinner, this, the Debuntate Ball, and all the other wacky endeavors that Rory ropes Dean into, you can't help but feel a small pang of sympathy for ol GarbageFace McButt Forrester.

Dean: "One handjob per anniversary? Please?" I feel so lost and without purpose whenever Dean isn't acting like a total Turtle Anus. LG to Max: I like watching you cook. Max: I like you watching me cook. Gross.

What's with all the cow jokes in this episode? Rory's top is a pretty color. Dean's advice to Max re: The Gilly Girls

Don't use the last of the parmesan cheese because Rory likes to take it into her room and do mysterious things with it. Dean's other pieces of advice to Max for surviving the Gilly Girls are: Don't start a discussion late at night because that's when they're cranky, go along with their jokes, they'll blame you if they over eat, and no matter how crazy you think they are they'll just keep upping the crazy and you won't be able to keep up. "If you're eating pizza and Lorelai decides that the pepperoni is mad at the mushrooms because the mushrooms have attitude and then she holds up a pepperoni and the pepperoni asks for your opinion, don't just laugh. Answer the pepperoni." Ah yes this all sounds perfectly normal and sane Max should not be at all concerned about who he's about to (not) marry.

One small step above vanilla is just about what I would have guessed for Max's favorite ice cream flavor. Lor & Max are having a discussion about what it means for Max to be Rory's stepdaddy. Which brings us to another installment (one of many) of Lorelai Gilmore The Big Huge Fucking God Damn Hypocrite Theater. Max: Say you're not here, and I come home at 11pm and I find Dean and Rory making out on the couch? What do I do? Lorelai BHFGD Hypocrite Gilmore *shrugs*: They're teenagers, they can kiss. Lorelai BHFGD Hypocrite when she finds (teenagers, actually 18 year old adults at that point) Jess and Rory making out on the couch (during the daytime):

People I am NOT looking forward to suffering through the Jess seasons again. Stick a fork in my eye, it would be less painful.

Lorelai: I've already raised Rory. Max: So what is my role here?

I don't typically say my thoughts out loud as I'm watching but this time I said "Lorelai you dumbass" outloud. Max: What does being your "fella" entail? Lorelai: All things dirty. Gross. Max: Marriage is taking two seperate lives and melding together. How is that gonna work? Lorelai: Idk. Max: Have you given it any thought at all? Lorelai: Not really. Yeah Lorelai is a dumbass but to be fair they don't call him Max Proposes Marriage Over The Phone Twice Medina for nothing, either. Lorelai kisses Max to distract him from thinking about the fact that she has given no thought to their future. Max:Not fair. Lorelai: I have a lingerie drawer full of Not Fair, Mister. Gross.

Luke beans Taylor right in the eye with some kind of unidentified flying object. Beautiful. Taylor has bought in a crew to install a traffic light and metered crosswalk in front of Luke's, and boy is he unhappy about that. The usual gaggle of unemployed townies without anything productive to do have also gathered in front of the diner. Taylor asks if anyone is concerned about a recent spate of near fatal car accidents. Here is where I'd usually wish for a car to hit Dean Forrester but he hasn't been terrible in this episode so I guess I'll lay off the death wishes just this once.

God, Luke was hot. How did Lorelai even entertain the thought of boring, chocolate-chip-ice-cream loving Max Medina? How did she manage to wait 5+ years to finally fuck Luke?

Babette: Stick your hand down the front of a guy's pants for me! She is my kindred spirit.

He gets me hot when he talks like that. #Quack Needless to say, this was the start of a (mini) Luke Rant™ about marriage.

The gals + MIchel have managed to escape The Hollow for one night. They venture into the Real World™ to visit a drag club for Lorelai's bachelorette party, where they think they have any shot in hell of convincing a bouncer that 16 year old shivering chihuahua Rory is an adult who belongs there.

Max phones Lorelai during his bachelor party from the hospital after his brother tried to leapfrog over a parking meter. Max is shown in the hospital waiting room . His brother is released. Absolutely nothing comes of this pointless scene. Lorelai tells him to take his brother to a strip club, because as we saw when Luke visits a strip club with his teenage nephew and brother in law, nothing says male family bonding like naked ladies.

Excellent word, I approve.

Rory and Lorelai give a stumbling and unconvincing speech about Rory being an 18 year old model from Germany and Meathead McGee here gives her a sly smile and lets her in without checking any ID. Yep.

Remember how I said I don't actually talk to myself outloud while watching this show? Well, that's twice in one episode now because I just said "What the fuck!" very loudly. No seriously what the fuck? We learn this is Michel's evil doing. Inviting Emily just for shits and giggles. Emily has had too much to drink so she is actually pleasant company for once and barely complains. Emily and Dean are both on their best behavior in this episode, hell hath frozen over. Emily and Patty trade marriage/wedding stories. Patty has been married four times. Emily fries Lorelai's brain by making her realize she doesn't love Max as much as Emily loved Richard.

Nevermind Dean Forrester Face-Looks-Like-A-Butt, the more important question is, what is she holding? As a fellow Millennial like Rory, I love seeing old, early 2000's technology on tv shows. I took a deep dive and it was called an AOL Mobile Communicator.

Rory is recieving instant messages from Butthead, Sookie calls Jackson (even though she told everyone "no one is allowed to call boys tonight" before they got into the club), Emily is wistful about Richard, and Lorelai is just getting bummed the hell out surrounded by all these ladies happy with their romantic lives. Lorelai picks up her cell phone. Me Having a Casual Thought: Okay, Lorelai is drunk and depressed and lonely. What is she going to do? Ha, I bet she'll call Christopher or something!

Okay Ladies and Gents, we now have our third outloud WHAT THE FUCK of this episode. MAJOR what the fuck! This is my fourth time watching the show and I don't remember this happening. It goes to show you this show is unpredictable in its predictability and how endlessly rewatchable it is because you just FORGET stuff. And what is the purpose of this call? It's to rub it in Christopher's face that she's getting married. Not so fast there, Lorelai. *points to the title of the episode*

Did you know the actor who plays Christopher, David Sutcliffe, is actually a total douchecanoe in real life too? #DoucheCanoeTrivia

Christopher DoucheCanoe asking the important 2001 questions. In the fashion of the many other long and pointless conversations in this episode, they have a long, pointless conversation about Max's taste in music which Lorelai hints at but won't outright admit is (obviously) very lame. Lorelai is trying to convince herself that Max is worth marrying because her feet are getting brrr chilly cold and for some reason she thought Christopher DoucheCanoe would settle her doubts, it doesn't work. Obviously.

This will be me after watching every Jess episode again. The next day Lorelai is hung over and Max shows up at the Inn where Max is upset that their wedding is like, tomorrow, and Lorelai still hasn't given him a set of keys to her (their) house. Max tells Lorelai to "think about someone other than yourself for a few minutes a day." Ah, the sweet sounds of stark, brutal honesty.

Luke is a darling. Luke: You can't stand under the hot sun, on this lawn that hasn't been mowed in weeks. I guess he doesn't mow. Lorelai: Max isn't a mower. Luke: I'll mow it if you want. He's hot, he's opinionated, he builds stuff AND he mows women's lawns freely and without complaint. Of course Max doesn't "mow Lorelai's lawn." But Luke is up for the job. Lorelai: Is it okay that we're not Jewish? Will God smite us if we stand underneath it? Luke: God would probably have to get a permit from Taylor to do any smiting on a weekend. That made me laugh out loud. Luke slightly softens his stance on marriage. "I guess if you can find that one person who is willing to put up with all your crap and doesn't want to change you or dress you or make you eat French food, then marriage can be alright. But only if you find the right person." The episode ends with Lorelai telling Rory to pack for a road trip as she's backing out of her engagement because Max is boring and Luke is hot and better and can mow her lawn all day and night. Here's Michel dancing:

The next episode, Road Trip to Harvard, is one of my top 10 favorite episodes. It's light, breezy fun so I'm looking forward to the last bit of calm before the Jess Mariano ShitStorm blows in.

[askandanswerbot]

Can I get vaccinated again?

— barbara (@barbaras1616) Sat May 01 20:37:38 +0000 2021

Yes, Buttzilla, there sure is.

— Jeff Thompson (@onemoreorbit) Sat May 01 21:00:51 +0000 2021

[meauxs-tavern-blog]

[saltygilmores]

Thoughts While Watching Gilmore Girls, 2/18 “Back In The Saddle” (more glorious filler) Part 1

The episode begins with an uninteresting Friday Night Dinner intro that has nothing worth writing about, except we see Richard again, and I feel like I haven't seen Richard in a really long time. (This is a Richard-centric episode, which is fine with me).

They fixed the Tomatos Sign? Say it ain't so!

Oh, the other chalkboard.

I recommend you all look up a woman named Valerie Campbell on TikTok or Instagram. She worked on the show and shares a lot of behind the scenes stories. I can’t seem to find this specific post again, but if you care to dig around yourself, she had a little story about the crew member that actually designed this sign.

I don't remember it being a particularly fascinating story, but if you want to hear the story of Sign Guy, go on and find Valerie.

Thinking about the time Rory took a slice of unbuttered unsyruped French toast on the run like it was a god damn pop tart. You weirdo.

LG: Look at the handwriting on that sign. It's so precise. So determined. It's focused Luke. RG: That's Jess' handwriting.

That tone of suspicion again. Sigh.

You know what, I won't pile on Lorelai too much for this comment, because it was lighthearted and not dripping with passive aggressive sauce for once. You win this round, Gilmore.

Couldn’t have killed you to throw in a “that’s so thoughtful/cute/sweet” or something though.

I love how blasé they are about their notions that either Luke or Jess could have such gorgeous handwriting. Neither of them are marveling even one bit over that skilled graphic design. Sad lack of shock, wonder, and awe.

Lorelai is very much NOT Team Jess and is actively trying to destroy this adorable friendship. Being a Lorelai and Literati supporter at the same time seems like a paradox of sorts? But hey, according to Tumblr, I'm just a big ol woman hater for saying Lorelai is evil. Continue, Lorelai. Lay some old fashioned Dean Lust on us. It's what the people want.

Rory looks thrilled to see ButtZilla.

Drop yourself off a bridge.

Lorelai: Please please please eat with us Dean!

So much said with so little in her tone of voice alone

From left to right: Wetting her pants in excitement to have Dean for breakfast/ thinking about covering his naked body in maple syrup; a man wondering if this will be one of the rarest of days when the Gilmores pay for their food; Hello Darkness My Old Friend; and Buttzilla.

I've got something you can eat, Dum Dum.

JOKES ON YOU BUTTZILLA! JESS WROTE THE SIGN! YOU'RE GONNA EAT AN OMELET THAT YOU ORDERED OFF A SIGN THAT JESS WROTE!

Mind your own business, AssButt. Your necklace is stupid and so are you. Your mother doesn't love you.

"Next time I get you all alone I'm going to give you SUCH a spanking, young man."

Poor put-upon Brad. One day, Brad will rule the world, and the peasants will be sorry. Our usual Chilton crew that consists of Rory, Paris, Madelyn, Louise, Brad, and one rando (some 30 Year Old Archie looking dude) are gearing up for a Business Fair. They have to invent a product appealing to high schoolers. Rory is the CEO, and they have an imaginary 1 million dollars to imaginary market/produce/and distribute it. They also have to find a responsible adult to be their "business advisor". Richard will eventually join them and muck things up. Everyone else's negligent dads are too busy working and Rory's deadbeat dad Crusty is off somewhere trying to impregnate some chick named Sherry and wouldn't know how to Business if his life depended on it, so Richard it is. But this is the 2000s, so surely someone's mother could also have business experience?

Paris and Madelyn suggest Rory's mom, seeing as she "Runs a hotel", but the girls wouldn't know that Rory's mom regularly leaves her shift in the middle of the day to do things like look at coffins. Not a good role model. Joyous filler nonsense.

Rory: LOL yeah I guess. Let’s have someone look at Lorelai’s “books”. The Independence Inn and Stars Hollow are both an accountant's wet dream.

I neglected to include Brad in my poll of Gilmore Girls characters whose quietly bubbling anger will one day no longer stay contained until they snap and murder somebody.

She's definitely not, but Paris threatens her so Rory promises to ask her anyway.

The people of Stars Hollow are incredibly angry and violent. Don't let their sweet faces fool you. Try to take away their coffee or twinkle lights, or fuck up their wedding invitations, and you'll be sorry.

[mrsimpsonweb]