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#buuuuut i have all these hidden limitations like. i just hate touching/dealing with raw meat or eggs or anything
pizzapizzadickz
·
2 years
Text
Tired, in pain, can't sleep at all. This sucks.
#oh eggs are simple!
#diary
#personal
#disordered eating
#so like. i want to eat better. but. the amount of work i need to achieve that seems impossible
#like. i need things to be easy and fesible for me to do.
#buuuuut i have all these hidden limitations like. i just hate touching/dealing with raw meat or eggs or anything
#its bc my moms germophobia transfered to me 💀
#and like. i wont use x machine bc 1. im scared of where its placed it might have splatter from *something*
#and 2. its loud and 3. its complex to use/clean (its a blender)
#and all pans are just hard to predict when theyll be clean and it bothers me so i dont try to cook much lately
#bc i can never plan when ill have energy
#and theres too many meals in a day!!! and i refuse to do anything without hyper research!!!!!
#LIKE I MAKE THINGS SO DIFFICULT FOR MYSELF THAT IT STRESSES ME OUT A TON AND IM TIRED. really tired
#and looking at quick recipes are all like no they arent!!!! its stressful!!!!
#whats super annoying is i make more complex things regularly bc theyre just something simple to me.
#...tho not necessarily. just. ugh. its annoying and contradictory
#idk how to eat well and keep myself alive
#i like trying new things but i also eat very VERY selectively
#why cant i just have a pill or something and never eat unless i wanna
#its infuriating and stressful and idk what to do about it.
#rules rules rules rules rules rules rules. so many arbitrary horrible hard to understand rules.
#pls give me suggestions if u want. just fyi im also super picky with fruits n veggies... honestly how am i still alive????
#probably bc i live with my parents haha... ha.
#i think id be on disability or homeless otherwise.
#or something idk. im a mess. send help pls.
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