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jacksgreysays · 4 years

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Fake Fic Summaries 28/?, the How Did I Stumble Onto This Ship edition (2021-03-18)

Like Sand and Snow and Paint

The thing between Scoot and Destiel is less a question of will or won’t and more a matter of when—not that Derek wants to know even that much about his little brother’s love life.

His relationship with Aoi is somehow both more and less straightforward.

(Or, a dumbass wraith warrior and a runaway healer princess only really work with the addition of a giant demon more interested in naps than battle)

A/N: Truly this will make no sense if you don’t partake in @dilfosaur’s neopets adventure party ‘verse and this will still make very little sense even if you do.

And don’t get me wrong: of course I appreciate the Destiel x Scoot content... I just for some reason think it’d be funny if the “obvious het ship” of Derek and Aoi were a little less obvious and a little less het. And by funny I mean charmingly endearing.

If I could destroy the writer’s block that has plagued me, the fic would probably go something like this:

They are roaming adventurers of Neopia who help down on their luck villages out of the goodness of their hearts—which actually means they’re homeless, near broke, and always stumbling into world changing conspiracies when they’re just looking for a paycheck.

It’s a pattern that started back when it was just Derek and Scoot, two orphan brothers trying to look out for each other. Then came Aoi, runaway princess from the Kingdom of Maraqua. While they definitely couldn’t afford a third mouth to feed, it wasn’t the sheer heartbroken impossibility of trying to avenge her family, so their pack of two expanded into a party of three.

After that came Uchiura who hadn’t joined the party so much as she rescued their asses from wandering the desert and decided to continue hanging around. Then finally Destiel crashed into their lives, an accidental harbinger of an interplanar war and Scoot’s decreasing amounts of chill.

Bwalthazar didn’t need to be added because Bwalthazar had, in a way, been there since the beginning; breathing a second chance and wraith powers into Derek after an early quest gone horribly wrong.

And thus began the adventures of Neopia’s least prepared, most disastrous band of heroes.

—

Of course the adventures are not the important part of the story. The wars thwarted, the conspiracies revealed, they don’t matter, not really. Neopia is a world in flux with strange lands, stranger timelines, and even stranger beings. What matters is how strangers stop being such and how they build their bonds.

Or don’t, as the case may be.

Destiel and Scoot is the more compelling tale, perhaps, a fallen angel and a reckless mercenary; reluctant allies slowly—so slowly!—transforming into something more.

In comparison Derek and Aoi seems so obvious: a rough but well-meaning warrior with a poised and faithful healer. Commoner with royalty. Etc, etc. Certainly there’s no denying how well they work together nor their fondness and affection for each other. Even without verbally acknowledging it, it’s as if they both know the next steps to their dance, it’s just…

“Why don’t they kiss already?” Uchiura asks, small feet swiftly and surely scaling Bwalthazar’s rocky hide to perch safely on their shoulder.

Bwalthazar rumbles, literally, un-loafing with the sounds of grinding stone on stone. Their hellfire bright eyes lazily peeling open to spot their guest, so tiny is she in comparison.

Bwalthazar rumbles once more, an inquisitive hum that causes its own localized earthquake. One ear flicks in curiosity, the point swiveling to better hear the Uchiura.

“I asked why don’t they kiss already,” Uchiura repeats, a childish whine of impatience as punctuation.

“These things take time,” Bwalthazar responds slowly, as they do most activities, thorough and considering kinder words for lazy. “Scoot is unused to standing outside his brother’s shadow, and Destiel is young for an angel.”

“Not them!” Uchiura protests, soft feet pitter pattering ineffectively against a rocky scale, “Derek and Aoi!”

“Ah,” Bwalthazar says, then goes quiet. Or as quiet as deep bellowing breaths can be for a being their size. Their eyelids lower, either pondering or readying to return to sleep.

It’s not a bad idea, Uchiura thinks, curling up herself, hellfire warmed demon skin almost as nice as sun heated stone. She deserves a nap anyway.

Dropping into slumber, she forgets the question.

Bwalthazar does not.

—

There is no contract between Bwalthazar and Derek.

Yes, Bwalthazar breathed life and magic into him. They bestowed wraith powers unto Derek’s extremely mortal form, changing the ending of a commonplace cautionary tale into another: Overconfident and desperate sellsword accepts a quest beyond his ability; he nearly dies, nearly leaves his younger brother truly alone in the world. Of course, this does not happen.

But there is no contract between Bwalthazar and Derek. Derek did not reach out, desperately, for a twisted miracle in his dying breaths. Bwalthazar did not spot a bleeding, broken mortal and consider it their chance to expand their influence.

Derek was in their third favorite napping spot, that was all. So Bwalthazar huffed, hellfire and brimstone, and imbued him with life.

His wraith powers aren’t even dependent on Bwalthazar, not really, a manifestation of Derek’s own magic just metamorphed from what it once was. And if he uses too much of it, he just reverts into his normal form, not some shambling corpse. It’s a different color of hellfire, even—though only Bwalthazar and maybe Destiel would know what that may denote, if it does anything.

Derek is not beholden to Bwalthazar, and even less so vice versa.

But Derek goes out of his way to assure villagers that the breathing mini mountain in nearby empty field will not harm them, and Bwalthazar has decided that this adventuring lark is as good an excuse as any to find new favorite napping spots.

That is all.

—

Aoi sits with Bwalthazar in the late nights, the moonless the better, as close to serenity as she can get nowadays.

Their hellfire reminds her a little of the bioluminescence under the seas, but the dry heat prevents her from submerging too far into sorrow.

….

A/N: … and then that’s as far as I got?

There was, like, a tiny bit about after late night Aoi and Bwalthazar bonding (maybe talking about revenge and healing and catharsis and the rise and fall of monarchies or something) then Aoi leaves and Bwalthazar goes back to sleep for a hot second only for Derek to show up at dawn and like, quietly bond via practicing sword forms in vicinity of Bwalthazar. And then a line about how for Bwalthazar sleep is not a necessity, something like that.

So by paintbrush, Aoi is probably from Altador and Uchiura from Maraqua (which I had to look up, but was such a punch of nostalgia to the face) but, like, I dunno. Peophins are straight up horse mermaids. Horse mermaids! And then even though Uchiura is the Maraquan paintbrush, I didn’t want their storylines to be linked before the larger group so… I dunno, I guess she’s just been traveling for funsies.

I’m sorry, Karina.

(But also, let me know if you want me to take this down? Because I totally will.)

#jacksgreyson #fake fic summaries #writing #fanfiction #links #neopets #dilfosaur #like sand and snow and paint #incomplete

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