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abominationvault · 23 days

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Session 49: Sat 31 Aug 2024

Update! Jorg’ath’s neighbour has closed the window and is in fact not dead. The only other possible explanation is that he is a serial killer, as our DM so wisely pointed out last session.

Crossfit is not only expensive but also bad for you. Scientifically proven. Hartvig wants to know what he missed last week; absolutely nothing because we didn’t play. Nadia wins a Hero Point for correctly guessing what floor we’re on (the fifth, if anyone's counting). Luna is not here, she’s taken BWJ’s 1 and 2 to Macclesfield to see her sister. Sprocket will take over for her. The DM has a Welsh people fetish. “You do you,” Hartvig encourages him. Hartvig bets Ricki Lake looks exactly the same now. He looks it up on Google. “Ooooh… No she doesn’t.”

Nadia does the recap: Chuffcum, spike traps, finding things including a set of alchemist’s tools (Hartvig found a cupboard) and see-through walls, and a stately hallway with broken statues and balconies and bridges. Yeah. Hero Point for recapping twice.

Skabb and Jorg’ath wrestle Baby Skabb into bed, and we’re off!

Nadia pokes Hartvig through the door he’s found. (Sprocket and Hartvig are having pizza. Nadia is well jel.)

We are in the stately hallway. Skabb thinks this might be the actual arena, as it would be interesting to watch people fight in here. She looks at the pinpricks of light in the ceiling - they are irregularly spaced and she thinks they might be a replication of the night sky. Then she notices that the stars don’t match our sky, and that it might be a view of stars a long way from Golarion…

We have a half alien in our midst, the DM tells us. Nadia looks around wildly to see who it is. (It’s her; technically elves aren't from Golarion and Nadia is a half elf tiefl- sorry, nephilim. She insists she’s a half elf so she was born here, but Skabb side-eyes her anyway. In any case Nadia can't help with the star thing, so it's all moot.)

Skabb sends Grabby to scout - and Hartvig finds some doors we’ve already opened. Hartvig and Nadia make Nature checks, but nothing doing. Grabby makes one, as she basically is Nature, and absolutely smashes it with a green 25. She knows exactly where we are! We have been here before, this is where we threw some chains down so we can escape from the lower levels when we get there. We just didn’t explore to the south - if we had, we’d have found the hallway earlier.

Hartvig is overwhelmed by the amount of doors, and we make Perception checks. Luna gets a bonus because she is a big-eared cat person now. Skabb, Grabby, and Jorg’ath notice something. There is a pair of double doors to the south, and on the other side they hear shouting. “Do they sound like they’re married?” Skabb asks, and makes a Society check - 7. She’s not sure.

We sneak up to the door - Luna helps us all with her new feat. (Long discussion about what type of creature Hartvig is these days and whether Skabb would eat a bit of him. He is waxy, we determine.)

Two voices on the other side of the door, one male one female, but they seem more like siblings than spouses, Skabb thinks from up closer. They’re speaking an old, posh dialect. It’s a form of common, but an archaic one. Do they sound big? Not really, they just sound regular sized. We can also hear something being thrown or slammed around with force, not dissimilar to a heated domestic.

Luna can’t sneak peek because the doors are barricaded. Can we slide Sprocket under? There’s no light, but a little gap - but there is stuff piled the other side. “If one could turn into, say, an ooze of some form?” Sprocket asks? Yes, he could extrude himself under the door, and gets a Hero Point for the idea alone.

What ooze form should he take? The sneakiest one. The juiciest? Oooh, he has one with a climb speed. He has one minute as an ooze so better make it fast. He can communicate with Augustus, but he only speaks gnomish and none of us do, so. Oh well, it was a nice thought. Sprocket erupts into a big pile of black goo, and splatches under the door. (Hartvig gags a bit; Skabb’s tummy rumbles.)

He sees tables with built in ovens, silver flatware and crystalware litter the floor. Magical glyphs next to the window, and two creatures are screaming obscenities at each other. They stop and turn to Sprocket as he squeezes through - wait, no. He was sneaking, so they don’t see him and carry right on rowing. He oozes across the floor, and has Augustus try to interpret Sprocket’s telepathic description of the room to us with hand gestures.

As he slithers across the floor, they spot him and stop shouting. The female-voiced one says, “How disgusting! Get rid of it!” and they both start throwing things at him. The Initiative order box appears. “Awh!” says Sprocket.

Outside, we just hear continued raised voices and more smashing. Skabb looks antsy.

They are trying to shoo him and aren’t attacking yet, but he gets the feeling that they will. “I will shoo.” He goes for a window I think, but it’s sealed? I’m not in the room and I can’t see. Are there any drainage grates? No, just back out the way he came. There are hearths - well, ovens. (Then I think their pizzas arrive, so he’s muffled and AFK for a bit.) He sees another door - he can get to it and squeeze under in one turn, so he does.

On the other side of that door he sees stairs leading down. Now that he's gone, the squabbling poltergeists go back to their argument. Sprocket tells Augustus what he’s done, and Augustus gives us a thumbs up and points at the door. “We should go in,” Hartvig says to us, and Augustus "nods with his whole body".

We try to remove the debris in front of the door. Jorg’ath is strong, he says, but not quiet. Do we want him to have a go…? Hartvig tries first. 8 STR check. Jorg’ath somehow rolls worse. We all pitch in; between Augustus and Nadia, we shift the debris fairly quietly.

Sneak in? Or send Grabby? We open the door enough to push Grabby through, and she zooms up to the ceiling. There are chains, which makes Grabby think there were chandeliers here once. The whole place is a mess now, though. She wants to know what they’re squabbling about, but they’re just trading insults. She looks at the ovens instead. Percep- no. Society check. 18. “She’s a well-to-do raccoon, don’t you know.” The ovens aren’t big, but shallow; they may have been used to keep food warm before serving. For the posh boxes in the arena, likely. Grabby peeks through the big glass window, and must make a Stealth check - 16. She flies towards the window, but as she hovers down and presses her splatty hands on the glass, she hears “Vermin!” and the Initiative box appears again.

They throw things at her, but for now it’s just warning shots; it will escalate if she doesn’t leave. She flies up to the ceiling again, and tries talking to them. She tries to explain that she’s a familiar (a type of nature spirit in her case) and not a raccoon. She hasn’t been near bins in centuries. What is going on in here?

They are still disgusted by her. "What does it look like?", the male one demands. Grabby makes a Diplomacy check - 8. Can she use Skabb’s Hero Points? Yes - 15. The male spirit tells her that they can’t leave - stupid over there (he points accusingly at his sister) panicked when the alarm went off and they’ve been stuck here ever since. The female one immediately blames her brother for them being down here in the first place. What is keeping them trapped, Grabby asks?

The doors were barricaded. They have no way to get out, the female spirit tells her. If the doors were opened, what would happen? They would leave, obviously! Would they like Grabby to open the doors for them? They are very snotty at poor Grabby.

Luna can hear what’s going on through the doors with her big ears. She opens the door and says to the ghosts, “Jog on, then.” They zoom past us and up the stairs.

Well, that's that dealt with! Skabb wins a Hero Point for not murder-hoboing.

We go into the room; it is trashed. Hartvig takes a look at the ovens. What did Grabby see through the big window?

As we look out, we see a walkway, a seating area on a balcony, and what we assume will be the arena below, though we can't actually see it from inside the room. There are torches burning down there, so it is light. Skabb presses against the glass, leaving greasy nose and hand prints. And a belly print as well apparently.

Augustus opens the door and lets Sprocket out. Sprocket and Hartvig examine the glyphs - Hartvig thinks they can be interacted with by touch. One, Hartvig associates with the phases of the moon, and Sprocket associates them with power fluxes in magical stuff - like an occult dimmer switch. Hartvig touches the dark moon one - little Skabber, pot belly pressed against the glass, is surprised to see it turn opaque. Hartvig touches the full moon one, and the glass goes completely transparent. (Skabb tries to draw a smiley face on it with her belly.)

Jorg’ath goes to open the door to the stairs that led down - but he spots something interesting in the debris on the floor. It looks like a small metallic cube. He points it out to Nadia, who takes a look. It seems to be a dented metal box. She picks it up. It would once have been fancy, but it’s clearly been through some shit. She tries to open it, but it seems locked - she hands it to Luna. Thievery 16. Skabb has a try for a 25. Her nasty little fingers manage to pry it open, and inside is a ring, a fancy one, with a strange symbol on it.

Does she know anything about the symbol? She has seen it before. Occultism 26 for 30. It’s the symbol of Nimboloth… She is one of the most evil and unholy of the gods. Skabb is reluctant to carry this ring, knowing that. She's fairly certain she might have a soul, grubby as it may be, and doesn't want it getting scoffed by an evil god. She asks if Augustus would be happy to carry the ring in his tummy, as he doesn’t have a soul? Probably? Hartvig thinks Nimboloth sounds kinda cool; Skabb bungs the ring in his direction.

He recalls that in the mythology of this place, Velcro worshipped Nimboloth. He thinks the ring might have belonged to her. It is a +1 Ring of Wizardry! It will do all sorts of cool stuff - but it’s for arcane spellcasters, and he’s divine. Sprocket could use it! He could wear it as a crown. He puts it on.

Through the other door in here is the staircase leading down; we avoid it for now as we haven’t finished exploring.

Grabby scouts ahead and relays what she sees.

(It is here that the DM makes a huge mistake: “If you’re not obnoxious about it, I will let you draw on the map.” A green dick immediately appears.)

Some of us fly, some sit on the edge of the bridge and slide off down the ten feet to the floor below, some of us (Nadia) leap off and land perfectly in spite of wearing heels. (And win a Hero Point for it too.)

Grabby explores and finds a new room - and hears a scrabbling noise. She turns just in time to see three creatures appearing from their nest among the statues… It sounds like she’s going off on a little side quest of her own. (She could take Augustus, Sprocket suggests. "Grabby Cat and Barrel Boy.") Oh shit it's basilisks!

Initiative…

Grabby immediately flies upward out of reach, but still has to make a Fortitude save - a 6. She begins to stiffen…

Grabby is Slowed 1, after Hero Pointing for a 17. Skabb plops off the edge to join Nadia on the same level as Grabby, averting her gaze. (Which, it turns out, does nothing as they only have to be able to see us.) Skabb does Blazing Dive at them, doing a bunch of damage as she lands amongst them. She gets a Hero Point for being ballsy; "I will display it proudly on my grave." They all take some damage, in spite of a success on one of their saves.

Sprocket is up, and he’s got some brand new spell slots burning a hole in his pocket. And a +1 Striking Staff of Elemental Power. First though, he wants to know what he knows about basilisks. They have a 30 foot range on their Petrifying Gaze! (Skabb clutches her pearls.) Sprocket shoots a Phase Bolt at one of them, Hero Points, 19 to hit? Misses. “Ahhhhmmmm. Nuts.” Another Phase Bolt, 21 is still a miss. Only just.

Hartvig 2.0 is up. He dash-slash-plops down next to Nadia and scoots forward a bit and does a Needle Darts - 23 hits! Then he raises his shield.

(IRL Jorg’ath isn’t well. Skabb says he feels clammy and may have passed over. Perhaps he’s a dustwalker now.)

The basilisks start in on staring at Skabb. (The DM tells us that if we are fully petrified, we are petrified forever unless someone splats fresh basilisk blood on us. Hooray.) Fortitude save 30, phew. One bites Skabb, three times. “At least I don’t have any parents that you lot will have to tell that I love them.” 35 crit, then 22 to hit, and she’s down. Shit. Well, at least she’s not petrified.

Another one starts down the corridor toward Hartvig and Nadia. One tries to mean-mug Nadia but she makes her save. “Phew.”

Luna is on the balcony and can’t be seen; she wants to hide and then deal a million damage. She’s already hidden (well, she thinks she is), so she’s halfway there. She leans out over Sprocket, shoots, Hero Points, 22 to hit for 8 damage and 4 Sneak Attack. She shoots again, 21 just misses.

Another one mean-mugs Nadia but she makes her save again. She tanglefoot bags one, and runs away.

Jorg’ath slides off the ledge to the floor below and runs up to the basilisks that have come up the corridor, and wants to push his thumbs into their eyes. He makes a claw attack, not a critical, but does some damage. “In that case I’m going to target its head with my greatsword.” 23 hits, for 23 green damage!

Skabb uses her Hero Points to stabilise herself.

Sprocket casts Summon Moss Sloth!

He smells like wet rotten wigs and turpentine, we are told. Yeah, that tracks. The Moss Sloth sleepily slaps a basilisk with its wooden claws, and hits twice! It does its eerie half smile, which is the only expression it can make. Augustus has a move, so he uses it to get into melee with the basilisks, next to Jorg’ath.

A basilisk side-eyes Hartvig. “But… but… for why?” Because he is in range, and he started his turn. The shield doesn’t help. He makes a Fortitude save - a green 29! “I petrify it right back!” (Nice idea, but they’re immune.) He moves up to give Skabber some healing, Heightening it to Level 3. 24 HP back for her, plus 13. 37, nice. She’s only 9 away from her max now! Hartvig raises his shield.

The basilisks go next. The one closest to Hartvig moves into melee with him, and bites him, then turns to bite Augustus. 19 misses Hartvig and 17 misses Augustus. Ha! Wait - retcon, that was the one with the tanglefoot bag. It moves five whole feet and stops because it’s winded, and doesn't bite anyone. The other one bites at the lizard and then does a petrifying gaze at him. He’s got Fortitude for days! Red 14, not today apparently. Hero Point 24, that’s better.

The one next to Skabb thinks she’s dead; she smells dead on the best of days, she tells us. It moves up and glares at Sprocket. 24 saves and the DM is very annoyed; he wanted to petrify at least one of us. (He might yet.)

Luna Hides, but is not confident that she can’t be seen. “She let out a little cat fart as she was doing it.” She shoots, 30 hits for 5 damage. She can roll her sneak attack damage, yay! 7 more on top. Nice. 27 also hits, howdy doodis! The arrow pierces its eye. “All the blood comes out of it and goes into a flask.”

Nadia leaps back onto the upper level from halfway up the stairs, and with her Raconteur’s Reload, gets a free Intimidation check - 16. Does nothing, but she crits with her next Tanglefoot shot and it has to make a Fortitude save or be stunned - it saves. She gets a Hero Point for being badass, though. And it's Slowed!

Jorg’ath starts his turn and gets side-eyed for his trouble - 17 is a fail so he Hero Points for 29. Then 29 hits for a howdy doodis! Jorg’ath is very careful to avoid spilling too much of its blood, between the greatsword and the acid damage. The other one is flat-footed as well as slowed now, thanks to a feat of Jorg’ath’s! “You stinker,” the DM complains.

There is one left now, and it can’t see Skabb because she’s behind it so it can’t side-eye her. It’s a bit distracted. She is still on the ground; she wanted to bite it but that would be all three of her actions including standing up and moving over to it, so she decides to cast a spell from the ground. Wait - can she commando crawl? Yes, the DM will allow it. She crawls over and bites it on the ankle. Does 19 hit? It’s slowed, off guard and flat-footed…? No, it’s AC would be 20. She has another go with a Hero Point - 29 will hit. 9 piercing damage. It’s not an aberration, is it? It is not. “Balls.” She wants to do a spell but they’re all 2-actioners, so she bites again instead. 20 hits for 4 more damage.

Sprocketses. He’s AFK! Oh, he’s back. Augustus does some punchin’. 26 hits for 7 damage. Sprocket does a Phase Bolt; 17 misses. 16 also misses. Randy the Moss Sloth also gets a go with his wooden claws - 14 misses. “He fell asleep.” 9 also misses, and Sprocket’s team are done.

Does it look bad, Hartvig asks? Perception check - 25. “Oh, it’s fucked,” the DM tells him. Needles! 13 misses, Hero Point, 24 hits! “Loads of needles.” 12 piercing damage - howdy doodis! “It’s very splashy. The blood is conveniently spread around the corridor.”

Grabby Cat wipes herself against the bloody walls, removing the Slowed condition.

Skabb runs to meet her, and finds herself surrounded by the statues. All but two are badly damaged. There are two that could be saved, since we have all this basilisk blood. Do they look friendly? We have a look. Skabb and Hartvig make Occultism checks - Skabb rolls a dirty 20. Hartvig gets a 25. One looks like a flesh warp, so it would be a bad idea to revive that one. The other looks like some form of vampire or undead. It’s an Erdofan, which is not actually intrinsically hostile. We could take their gear without damaging them, if we wanted. Skabb makes a Thievery check to see if she can smear blood on their stuff without reviving them - 28.

She manages to pilfer a +1 Striking Composite Longbow, and a +1 Tamchal Chakram:

She could launch that from Rabies’ saddle.

With that, we get a description of the arena. Wide open space, six balconies with porches, huge metal gong hanging on thick chains. Could we see any creatures down there, Nadia wants to know? We will have to wait until next week!

#dnd #pathfinder #abomination vaults #abomination vaults spoilers

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