#c.) makes for interesting trauma recovery fics that I'm all for

[ahamkara-apologist]

Hmm hmm debating making Crow's fear-infatuation with Aeris into a genuine short-term crush post-SOTH that Aeris knows about and is uncomfortable with, not only bc it would be a very good harsh lesson for himself given the fact that he is Not In A Good Place right after he escaped but also bc Aeris himself doesn't have enough problems so I gotta slap him with the aroace axe of 'I wish I could be this for you but I cannot' as well as 'I don't know if it's because I can't feel as other's do and I worry if there's fundamentally something wrong with me' autistic aro experience on top of it. Crow grows out of it eventually ofc and in the long run Aeris as YW can't exactly linger on himself for long but it would be an interesting take to spin on the whole concept since Crow/YW pairings are so common in fandom (for good reason)

[castysandthedeep]

#this is unironically why i write porn

profoundly based of you btw. i'm not calling you a liar is still one of my favorite dsmp fics as a character exploration of c!quackity and the effect torture and self-isolation has had on him. life among the dead has some really good exploration of mental illness/delusion (one of the few fics i've read that actually lets cwilbur be delusional!!!) and the concept of resurrection/coming back wrong/cwilbur's feelings about not deserving to live, and the way we see his slow recovery process through the kink progression. bitter/sweet being about stereotypes and trauma and society. genuinely your fics are REALLY GOOD at showing themes and characterization and so on through sex. i don't know hermitcraft or traffic life as well but Your Fics Are Good And You Should Feel Good

THANK YOU!!!! no okay listen the goddamn themes. they are so important to me. they plague me. why do anything if you are not going to put passion and drama and painfully realistic character interactions into it? i started writing porn because i wanted to make something that would contradict the misconception that all smut is meaningless horny garbage. not that i don't have the utmost respect for people writing meaningless horny garbage ("garbage" used affectionately here)—i read it all the time and i like it! it's just, character analysis is my bread and butter. can't really call it intimacy if you're not baring your soul too. okay that's cheesy as fuck but who cares

i'm definitely feeling this as i wrap up chapter five of lovegame, which is, as you've said, not your area of interest, but it's definitely the most recent thing i've worked on that this applies to. wilbur and quackity bring out the worst in me in this respect, and my other hermitcraft/life series fics are very lighthearted in comparison, but lovegame is the exception. it's built up to this monster of a final chapter that's easily more plot than porn, and i can't bring myself to apologize for it because i can't imagine not thinking it's better this way. all my fics end up being longer than i expected, and i wouldn't have it any other way.

and i know you didn't ask, and believe me, i'm not putting any pressure on myself (as should be obvious by how long it's gone without an update lmao), but i'll state again for the record that i absolutely intend on finishing life among the dead eventually. it's the first smut fic in which i really let my character analysis shine, and it's so important to me that i give it the ending it deserves.

[missilestorms]

Hello hello it’s me again. I have a question that may be personal (totally feel free to ignore this if so), but I’m curious about what motivated you to write old habits die hard? Cuz I feel like some people (at least the ones I’ve seen write hate comments) just assume any fic dealing with the subject of rape is fetishizing it, which is not true in your case. I guess I’m wondering why write this story with these characters?

Just asking because maybe it’ll help figure out my own motivation for writing something similar. I mean I won’t lie, I do have the trauma I can project, but mostly my motive is just ‘hey if that happened to this guy, would that be sad or what’? And then I’m like ‘is that a bad or stupid or exploitative reason to write it’??

Again I totally get it if you’re not comfortable answering this, it’s a very weird conversation to be having, at least for me. Take care of urself. 💕

TW: Discussion about writing rape and recovery.

Hey! Aww yeah I totally understand where you're coming from here.

So, in terms of why I wanted to write a fanfic like Old Habits, I think I write what I want to read most of the time. I enjoy h/c darkfics that deal with trauma and fallout and then mend it piece by piece, and I decided to write the fanfic I wanted. On a psychological level, I think we're probably in agreement, there - I have trauma, I've been through some stuff, and I do find writing and reading about dark experiences cathartic and healing, but I consider it a secondary reason - I usually get interested in an idea first. In terms of the specific characters, I like Bruno and Mirabel's platonic relationship and wanted to have Bruno apply his own experiences with trauma to try to help Mirabel the best he could.

I'm obviously incredibly biased haha, but I don't think it's inherently exploitative to want to explore rape and rape recovery in fanfic. There was a post on glorification here recently that comes to mind - a lot of the time, the reasoning behind criticism around a concept being exploitative is because the subject is often or easily mishandled. If rape is used as a plot point or as a means to an end and that trauma isn't addressed and the character is suddenly totally fine, that's frustrating. If you're handling the subject with care, especially if the intent of your fanfic is largely focused on recovery, then I'd say you're probably on the right track. We all make mistakes too, but we can use those mistakes to learn and do better.

On comments assuming intent about fics like mine: Sexual assault is an incredibly sensitive topic that people have personal experiences with and don't want to see mishandled. Some people, like you've said, make assumptions, don't think you should be writing about it at all, or that you should only write about it in a specific way. You're probably going to get a few of these unsolicited comments. My best advice is to look for the bit of truth that is sometimes in these kinds of comments that you might be able to fashion into strengthening your plot, portrayal, or a piece that they were confused by, and discard the rest. Also consider comment moderation! Write the story you want to tell.

I hope this helps! Thanks for your question <3 ^.^

[shoezuki]

this is an out of left field take (and sorry if you've heard this before) but can i just quickly say how much i dislike the handling of c!ranboo by a large portion of the fandom, specifically his mental health, compared to other characters in dsmp? cc!ranboo is a fucking phenomenal actor and it pains me so much that many people take the complex character he's created and turn him into a uwu baby wump version for the Trauma Porn, which is not great!! but then you compare that to characters such as c!niki, c!jack, c!philza, and c!techno - all of whom react to their own traumas in ways that aren't easily digestible "hurt/comfort recovery fic" prompts, and thus get slaughtered by ooc metas and just plain ableist analysis. i'm very, very worried that when c!ranboo finally does do something that the fan base can't excuse as "c!dream's fault" that they're going to swing from babying his character (which is already very :/) to making it his "villain arc" (hm. hate that phrase a whole lot :))) especially since it's mostly used :))))) in the context :)))))) of c!niki c!jack c!phil and c!techno :))))))))))) or treating him the way much of the fanbase does the previously described characters.

again sorry for this being a long and probably cold take i'm just. Tired of this fandom trend

YOURE RIGHT. YOU GOT IT ALL DOWN RIGHT.

ranboo is Good and Interesting and hes his Own Character not just some dream puppet like. hes not Immune to fucking up and doing wrong and stuff. but so often ppl will act as if his own actions Arent his own? like that dream is such an easy scapegoat for all that is ‘wrong’ with ranboo. so much ‘uwu baby ranboo hes so cute and innocent’ n shit. like nah my mans a lil fucked up ok cmon 

back when ranboo First started panicking and speaking to himself and the obsidian box. i Very Much remember all the ‘takes’ bout an ‘insanity arc’ and ‘villain arc’ or that he was fucking ‘going insane’ like..... i Remember. it was kinda brushed aside but I remember that shit. 

i dont doubt that like. ppl will go to villainizing him and the whole ableist ‘hes insane now’ type ideas if/when he acts in ways that dont align w the idea of him that ppl put in their own heads. esp w the syndicate i feel. so much is ppl pointing at techno now but what if ranboo starts going all in w the syndicate? what if he does something not entirely ‘morally right’? i feel we Will get that type a treatment jus like you we did w the current syndicate + jack like uy sayin

[hayanna]

Hiiii, i really loved the last chapter of summer house, i was so happy for some fluff after chapter 2,,,

I also wanted to ask how do you like,,, like summer house feels extremely realistic. It feels like watching an actual victim and his family recover from something horrific and it's gut wrenchingly painful, i actually almost puked (twice) after reading the ending of chap 2 bc it was so realistic it was triggering (which is not on you! I'm the one who failed to protect myself so dw! I'm all good now!).

So like,,, i was wondering how you deal with it? Is it hard to write those scenes? To think about the plot? How do you deal with it?

Idk man sorry if this is a weird ask but summer house kinda threw me off my feet for a solid month or so and I'm trying to find ways to cope jfjejfj bc i really wanna finish the fic but not at the expense of my own mental health ya know?

ANYWAY to end this in a good note i just wanna say that DUDE. YOU ARE SUCH A SKILLED WRITER. LIKE HOLY FUCK spare an ounce of talent for the poor 😭😂

hello! I’m so glad you reached out!! I’m gonna put most of this under the cut if that’s okay because it’s kind of a long answer

well, okay, let me first off say that I’m sorry you went through that and I’m glad you’re okay. I’m gonna start taking more precautions and maybe offer like? a google doc that people can view anonymously for every chapter, with the more difficult scenes cut down and summarized rather than played out in detail. honestly if you’re up for it, dm me and we could talk about what might be best in terms of that? I really want people to be able to be able to read summer house safely!! no pressure if you’d rather just stay anon though.

aaand in terms of how I deal with it. see this ask has made me question myself all morning lmao; I guess all I can say is that? I think I somewhat project onto c!tommy (don’t we all) and writing him into this really bad, really difficult situation— having him go through so much— and having him still then come out stable and happy at the end of it? is just. super cathartic for me.

everyone in this story is going to heal!! all of them! but I think trauma recovery irl can be kind of a grueling process, and I want to prove that going through something like that doesn’t mean that happiness won’t come. even if it feels like it should be here by now, we might still have a little ways to go and that’s okay, yknow??

gosh I hope that makes sense. apologies if it doesn’t. for real dm me if you’re comfortable with that, because I super want this story to be safe for other people who can relate more personally to read.

ALSO I think I want to make a separate post about how I handle getting triggered by stuff in fanfics because it happens to me too and. I don't want to make this response too long but I do want to share a couple things that can be helpful for me so look out for that if you are interested.

really truly thank you for this ask, I hope I? helped?? you are so kind and I appreciate it so much, thank you <33