#call me dickmaster lol

[imagination-phantom]

Lil espresso depresso.

More than anything … I shelter and adore you more than anything ~

A Comfort character is a comfort character lol. Even if he’s a booty.

[lettherebemonsters]

" You're pathetic. No wonder my ex-whore dumped you and your kid and fucked off."

@edcnfell

[rius-cave]

You've said from your lick.comic that Lucifer becomes attracted to Adam not long after and Adam is basically dealing with gay panic.

How long after that do they sleep together and how does it happen??

Ooohhh nonny

It wouldn't take too long after it. Hmmm, in fact, I have a comic planned down the line that fits very nicely as a continuation, I might tweak the script a bit to fit it better, so we'll see.

However that comic is gonna be kinda dub-cony and with some coercion so I'll propose an alternative if that's not your thing lol

After the events of that comic, Adam is effectively UNEASY around Lucifer. He can't even look him in the eye, he's actively avoiding him. He's apologized (begrudgingly) to Charlie and he's actually behaving well with the hotel gang.... Except when Lucifer is around. He gets pissy, short-fused, snappy, etc.

Lucifer meanwhile has the spark of attraction ignited inside of him, he looks at Adam with... Not uninterested eyes, but he has a much better hold of himself, he doesn't really act differently or is trying to seduce him further, it's just kind of in the back of his mind for now.

However he IS getting pissed off at Adam's attitude and how he's CLEARLY avoiding him. He briefly wonders if it's because he's just being a fucking brat.

This goes on for AT LEAST two weeks until Adam says something stupid and tries to flee from Lucifer's presence again and Lucifer is like "okay that's it".

Lucifer pulls Adam to a room with just the two of them alone and they have this discussion:

"okay, this is getting ridiculous. Fucking spill it."

"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about! Let me go already!"

"Not until you tell me what's got your panties in a twist. Come on it's been weeks."

"NOTHING! Goddammit-! This is fucking stupid!"

"Adam I'm not an idiot, please just-"

Lucifer tries to grab his arm but Adam flinches away from it.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME! YOU-!" he yells, loudly, and there's a very obvious blush on his face.

Lucifer looks at him, really looks at him, and then it all clicks for him.

"Holy shit, are you telling me-"

"IM NOT SAYING SHIT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE."

"No fucking way," Lucifer's face starts breaking into a smile. "For real? That little teasing got to you this bad?"

"I DON'T-! NO! SHUT UP!"

"Ohoho, this is so rich! Who would've thought!" Lucifer smirks, getting closer to Adam and adopting a much more flirty demeanor. "That the so called Dickmaster would want a piece of lil ol me?"

"SHUT UP FREAK, OF COURSE I DO NOT!"

"Hey, no judgement here, you should've just told me you needed to get laid that badly instead of piss and moan for days. Really buddy, it would've made things so much easier."

"LIKE HELL IT WOULD! I don't want you near me! Get away from me!"

Lucifer cocks an eyebrow but doesn't flinch, he starts circling Adam, as if he was prey. Adam just follows his shadow, still trying to hold on to his little secret. When Lucifer speaks again, it seems to come from everywhere at once.

"If you insist, I'll leave you alone for now. But really Adam, you just say the word and I'll make you reach Heaven again. I'll make you see more stars than you ever knew existed. See more colors than there are in the rainbow."

Adam gulps, and he panics internally when he realizes that he's starting to get hard. However, Lucifer doesn't seem to notice because then he feels Lucifer squeezing his ass, eliciting a yelp from him, and then next thing he knows Lucifer is back at the door frame, all the tension in the room dissipating.

"My door's always open! Well then, pal! Hope ya get your shit together! Don't make daddy mad~" he adds that last part with a velvety tone, and then disappears.

"Fuck..."

Not a full 24 hrs pass before Adam is knocking quietly in Lucifer's door (his new temporary room in the hotel) and Lucifer greets him with a smirk. They close and lock the door behind them. The end.

[scekrex]

I swear, you can't get rid of me, dude.

Another prompt ✨ Adam and reader playing a "What do you meme" game but it's DIY with instead of actual meme pictures, it's reaction pics of either of them, some of Lute, Sera, Emily and other angels (But mostly them). The reader pulls out a card he made specifically for this occasion that read "When you're playing a game with your partner, but suddenly someone interrupts it to propose" Adam being the dumb bitch that he is doesn't realise anything and searches for an ideal card, the card probably being:

When he finally goes to put the card into the table, he sees the reader on his knee with a nice velvet box, a shiny golden band with a sapphire in the middle and Adam just disconnects from the server, blue screen, the equivalence of this gif:

You say that like I want to get rid of you, nah bitch ur stuck with me now. Also: another crack fic whoop whoop (even tho the ending turned out super soft n cute imo) also Adam's basically me. You have to say that shit straight up to my face otherwise I'll think ur joking lol

I'm liking it better with you

pairing: Adam x male!reader

warnings: language, yet another crack fic

note: not beta read bc fuck you I don't have beta readers

If someone would've told you that you'd spend your afterlife with the Adam, you would've called them insane, yet there you were.

Adam was sitting on the couch across from you while you had made yourself comfy on the armchair, between the both of you was a small coffee table and on that table was a card.

‘When you realize the song you always skip is actually fire.'

You giggled to yourself as you played a picture of Lute. Her face was scrunched up and the expression on it basically screamed ‘I was wrong but won't admit it'.

That picture was from when Lute had lost a bet against Adam that had involved you and him hooking up - it was from before the two of you had started dating and was old as fuck but that didn't make the picture less funny.

Adam grinned as you played the card, then he raised an eyebrow, “That’s the best you have to offer, babes?” You simply shrugged, “What, you think I'd play shitty on purpose? C’mon you know me well enough to know that I won't settle with anything less than the closest thing to perfect.” Adam was too focused on the game to understand the hint and to be honest you couldn't really blame him, so you continued the game without another word about it.

You picked the next caption card.

‘When you're cutting wrapping paper and the scissors start to glide.’

Adam was quick to slam a matching picture card on the table, it was a picture of him putting his index fingers together - he accidentally formed an A with his hands - his facial expression was giving praying vibes with his closed eyes and the slightly up tilted chin.

You remembered the day that picture was taken on so clearly, Adam had been in an argument with Lute, she wanted something from Sera and had asked Adam to pull some strings and Adam being the idiot he was had taken on the position shown on the picture right before he snapped at her, “Do I look like motherfucking God? Go talk to Sera yourself, bitch.”

“Fuck that's good,” you admitted quietly, unfortunately Adam had heard you, “Duh, I'm fucking Adam, of course I'm good at this game it features my fucking face and my face is fucking perfect.” You playfully rolled your eyes at the brunette who seemed quite proud of himself, “Yeah whatever Dickmaster, gimme another caption card.”

And so Adam did.

‘When your shampoo says ‘Damage Control’ but deep down you're still broken.’

“Getting personal now, are we?” you teased the taller man who shot you a playful smirk. He leaned against the backrest of the couch and put his arms up to rest on top of it, “Your words babes, not mine.” Oh that motherfucker, how you loved him.

You confidently played a picture card of yourself that time, it showed you passive aggressively slurping a milkshake that Adam had bought you only moments after someone's brat had knocked your ice cream cone onto the ground - ah good old times.

You vividly remember how pissed you had been, fuck, you remember how Adam had yelled at that kid to watch where the fuck she was going and then he had started to pick a fight with the mom and all that just because of some fucking ice cream. In the end Adam had managed to lighten up your mood by buying you that milkshake you were drinking in the picture you had just played. Adam had taken that picture to point out how cute your grumpy face looked, at the time you were not having it but looking back at it he kinda had a point.

“I’ll never get tired of seeing your munched up angry little face,” he chuckled as he looked at the picture of you. You stayed silent and played the next caption card, your hands were slightly shaking and by the love of God you hoped Adam was too distracted to notice. And luckily he actually was.

“The fuck is that?” he exclaimed confused as he read the card over and over again, then he looked up at you, “The fuck does ‘When you’re playing a game with your partner, but suddenly someone interrupts it to propose’ even mean?” You shrugged and Adam went through all of his picture cards twice.

And while Adam had been busy picking a card to play, you had gotten out of your seat and were now down on one knee beside him. In your hands there was a little box that was covered in purple velvet and contained a shiny golden band and the most beautiful looking sapphire was gleaming at Adam. It had been hard to find a band made out of pure gold instead of the thing just being gold plated, but in the end you had found the perfect one.

Finally Adam looked up from the cards he was holding and slammed one onto the table, “Try to beat that, bitch.”

On the picture he was frowning, his mask covered his face so the frown was all LED mask but it showed his emotions pretty well, one of his hands was raised as if he were to make a point about something.

At first the brunette blinked confused at the empty chair across from him, then his eyes caught yours and the cocky grin that had sat on his lips so perfectly fell, it left an expression you weren't able to read. “Adam,” you spoke softly, slightly irritated by his reaction but still confident, “I’ve known you ever since I got here and while I'm aware that we spent little time together compared to how long you've been up here,” you continued and you really couldn't help but smile.

Adam on the other hand was completely silent, his expression was blank, there was no emotion on his face at all and it made you worry that this might've been too soon. But you simply inhaled deeply and spoke up again, “And I know that our future together will be even longer, it's not really eternity's thing to have an end after all, but-” you swallowed hard. Why wasn't he reacting, why wasn't he telling you to either quit it or hurry up like he usually did when you took too long?

You swallowed whatever negative feelings were bubbling up your throat and went on to confess, “But that's what I want, Adam. I want to spend the rest of eternity with you by my side. I don't want to imagine life up here without you as my partner and I-” Adam made you interrupt yourself as he cupped your cheeks softly, his thumb carefully brushing over your bottom lip, “Keep going babes, I wanna hear what else you have to say.” You gave him a small nod, it took a moment for you to find your voice again but once you did, you finished your little speech, “I not only want you by my side as my boyfriend, but as my husband. So will you take this ring and marry me?”

Adam dropped to his knees in front of you, his hands were still cupping your face ever so softly as his lips met yours. The kiss was warm and soft, slow and almost lazy and Adam wasn't going to pick up the pace, not for that kiss at least. He wanted you to drown in the feeling of his kiss, he wanted you to drown in his love for you and equally he wanted to drown in your love for him. “Yes you little shithead,” the first man whispered against your lips followed by giving them a quick peck, “I’ll marry you.”

-

also here r the pics they used as cards in order:

1)

2)

3) this is the one that inspired the reader picture card

4)

[bitchin-tubs]

did you see the dumpster fire that is the angel dust poison music video LOL

this was from a few days ago and omg already saw the 4 episodes and that last one was just something alright... I think I wouldn't be so disgusted if the abuse wasn't so graphically shown throughout the scene and simply knowing the rapeshipper storyboarded for the episode makes you wonder if it was done out of a real concern for awareness and not canon material for themselves.

I mean this got the message across pretty well.

It was gross seeing Angel being forced into the kiss and the flash at the end with Val behind him was more than enough. But then you have Angel being actually assaulted on screen and it's not only disturbing but also gave me tonal whiplash like this show really hasn't been mature enough to be handling it this way ("call me dickmaster"...), especially later with Husk who doesn't actually comfort or reassure him at all. I mean he drops the big secret and then they get to bond over a song and a fight like ?

Also something that irked me about Husk being apparently so bothered by Angel being fake which is a shame since he did have a point about Angel playing a facade but as always the pace leaves more to be desired. We never see Husk actually come to the conclusion that Angel is exaggerating his identity he just sniffed it out of the air somehow. It would've been cool to see previous scenes of Angel coming to the bar from work too exhausted to act and let Husk see him being real, even if he doesn’t remember himself from getting black out drunk but fuck building a narrative I guess

I actually liked Angel's breakdown that was an ugly and desperate side to him we hadn’t seen in a long time

But having Vaggie scold Husk into fetching him instead of him at least feeling bad he made him run off is so yuck like the ship is so stale it’s being prodded with tweezers. I PERSONALLY believe the episode could’ve been used to develop Angel and Charlie’s friendship instead of her turning into a child at the end (Charlie and her royal demon status being ignored by the plot making my teeth grind btw) but I forget Viv doesn’t like it when her characters exist without their partners

But honestly, I am kinda happy that since Hazbin is a lot more mainstream Viv is starting to receive actual criticism and unfiltered disgusted reactions from the general public instead of the usual yesman feedback

[lettherebemonsters]

I love how Adam unmasked is just rabid as Hell. The body language just screams he's in a panic mode. Like he's lost control AGAIN and he's freaking out, trying desperately to be the badass again only to be pinned down by the Hazbin group.

It's something that definitely needs to be brought up somehow in season 2. He wasn't just mad....he was scared. Eye twitching, feathers flared, teeth bared. And only when he was most terrified....did someone come to help him.

Even if it was too late.

[lettherebemonsters]

I'm probably the only one who would love to see Adam become a dinosaur-looking sinner. He's bird-coded so it'd make sense for him to regress to a more primordial version of himself.

So instead of a plump little dove...

He turns into this fucking thing.

[lettherebemonsters]

" ...and that's why rock is the best thing ever invented by man and why anyone who says different can go suck my cock.

And I'm the First Man so obviously whatever I say must be true. So meh."

[lettherebemonsters]

@unhinged-greed

Ooh, ow. That actually hurt.....nah. Adam had been called far worse than a clown by those who literally gave him life. Being called a clown by a clown might as well have been a flirt.

" Eh, I'm called the biggest mistake ever created by my manager every freaking day of my life. Honestly your taunting is fucking lame as shit, bruh."

[lettherebemonsters]

" I never had a dad....or a mom....and I turned out fine! Hehe.....right?"

[lettherebemonsters]

You look at this pigeon and tell me he's a twink. I dare you.

[lettherebemonsters]

Adam approves of all the baby making showing up on the dash tonight.

[lettherebemonsters]

" I'm dedicating this to my second in command, Lute. The most badass ball-busting bitch ever conceived in heaven......

This is for you, my danger sugar tits."

[lettherebemonsters]

Suddenly: A cat on Adam's head!

"Mrrrp!"

-- @gemscales-and-tea

" Well aren't you a precious lil' thing...."

[lettherebemonsters]

" Big Dick's back in town, you cunts!"

[lettherebemonsters]

@poison9spider

" You fucking sinners are all the same! Worthless trash! If you actually DESERVED Heaven, you'd be up there already with me!

But noooo...you thought Lilith and her punk bitch husband was soooo much better. You can't have buyer's remorse after you backed the wrong horse!"