#can u tell i cant control what inspirations i have? h a h

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

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[taones]

𝐓𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐤𝐚 𝐍𝐒//𝐅𝐖 𝐀𝐥𝐩𝐡𝐚𝐛𝐞𝐭

Pairing: tanka x gender neutral!reader (afab)

Note: Its 1am this probably sucks

Warnings: Smut (duh), mentions of public sex

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

tanaka is the sweetest and you cannot change my mind that he is touch starved. therefore, aftercare is the perfect opportunity for him to cuddle you and tell you how good you did or the other way round, depending on your preferred dynamics. If he's doing the aftercare, he always has a sports drink next to the bed for you and makes sure you drink it and have come down from your high before he drags you into the shower with him.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

It's his abs. Not to be predictable but they're something he worked hard on and it definitely payed off, so what if he likes seeing the look on your face when you see them?

Ryu is an ass man through and through, he matter the size his hands are all over that thing. Even when you're making out his hands are squeezing and rubbing your ass like it's his personal treasure.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

He is lowkey a messy person when it comes to cum, yours or his. He likes yours all over his face and in his mouth sk he can taste you. However, he prefers his to be over your ass or the back of your thighs if he isn't allowed to come inside you (his first choice).

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He kinda likes pain. It isnt really a dirty secret cause it takes him a while to notice but he can't help but shiver and moan when you scratch your nails down his back or bite his neck to muffle your moans. Tanaka even likes pressing down on them to feel some pain when he gets off.

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

I feel like he has a decent amount of experience maybe a couple of other people but he does research this kinda stuff and tries his best to adhere to any feedback you give him.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Any position he can see your ass in. Just the visual of his hips hitting your ass and it jiggling could make him come so he prefers reverse cowgirl etc. Not picky though, hes Tanaka.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

I feel like its 50/50 with Ryu. He could totally go for giggly sex and a lot of the time it is. If you start laughing about something he'll join in and he even laughs at himself a lot during it too. However, if hes super worked up then it's all about ramming you/getting rammed into the mattress and giggles can come during aftercare thanks.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He probably shaves. If it's not almost completely hairless then it's very well groomed and kept short. Couldn't care less about your body hair, he just doesn't like it on him.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

When he really gets into it, especially when hes about to finish, he gives out more and more praise. This can range from complimenting your body and making lewd comments to straight up repeating goes much he loves you. Apart from that, hes fairly romantic but not really if you get me. He'll praise you but he isnt exactly laying out verbal rose petals.

J = Jerk Off (How often, what are they thinking about, …)

Hes a horny bastard, he jerks off a lot. With your permission, he probably has some photos saved of you that he uses to get off and if not he has plenty of memories of you that he can use as inspiration.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

I firmly believe he is up to trying anything at least once. However, does have a thing for quite literally fucking you stupid. The whole eyes unfocused, drooling and unable to say anything but his name makes him hard just at the thought.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Anywhere and everywhere. Has literally no shame but hes a little possessive so, if you're doing in in public, he's making sure nobody can see you because that's his and his only to look at. This being said, he has a thing for shower sex. The way the water flows down your body makes sure that he is at least a little hard and you can't really take a shower together without it ended with probably a blow job.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

When you wear certain clothes. For example if you're wearing something tight or short he can't help but oggle a lot. God forbid you decided to wear some of his clothes or walk around in nothing but his tshirt and underwear. Tanaka really won't be able to control himself.

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Like nasty degradation. He doesn't like anything that could potentially emotionally hurt you, even if you like it. Insulting you, sexual or not, will always leave him with a feeling of guilt and he just can't carry on with whatever you guys were doing

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Now, he likes getting his dick sucked cause duh. However, he lives for giving you oral. Tanaka can and will be between your legs all day if he could and this means face sitting is an amazing experience. His skills are nothing to blink at either, be can get you to be a moaning mess within seconds and he probably gets a couple of piercings just to make that experience better for you.

P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

With the exception of when you're upset, Tanaka is usually fast and rough. He cant help himself, sometimes you're just too hot and he always fucks you like there's no tomorrow.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He is up for anything, like I said earlier. Plus he's very easily turned on so quickies are a fairly normal thing for you guys, they're not his favourite though because he tends to prefer a lot of rounds.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Like I said before, hes up for anything once. If you want him to do it, he'll probably give it a go! Risks are a thing he's willing to take as long as you're comfortable with it.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

His stamina is no joke. Seriously, he can go for a good 3 rounds before he even starts getting tired. Most of the time, you come more times than him cause you're the main focus so he tries to limit the amount of rounds for you two.

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Very basic toys like a vibrator and a pair of handcuffs for either of you. Most of your guys sex isnt actually pre planned so the handcuffs are more common than other toys but he enjoys when he gets to bring them out.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Little shit thinks it's funny to pull away to 'stretch' just when you're about to come. He is in this mainly for your pleasure but he can't help but rile you up sometimes and get you whining.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

I'd say hes relitavely loud. Loud enough that public sex isn't often but not loud enough for that many noise complaints from the neighbours. He can't help but get caught up and start spewing dirty talk in your ear between grunts and low pitched moans and your response usually increases his volume a little.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

Let him leave hickey hearts on you! Seriously, he has a thing for it and likes seeing them when you get changed in front of him. It's like a weird possession thing or maybe he just thinks it's cute, who knows.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

I'd say he's slightly bigger than average in length and has a good girth for him. His dick has a few prominent veins that are sensitive.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Higher than average, definitely. Can and will have you every single night if you let him, even after a long day.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I feel like he gets kinda hungry after sex and his aftercare is kinda long. After your shower, he probably makes a sandwich or something, eats it and comes back to bed after. Might spend a little time talking to you before he's out like a light.

Tumblr mobile likes to be annoying so sorry for any spelling mistakes! Requests are open and enjoy

[juminly]

Can i just say your last hc😱😱😱😳! Im still squealing over how sweet and cute it was❤❤🥰🌈 So naturally i cant resist but request a continuation HC for ma best bois, Theo, Vincent and Isaac! If u dont mind❤❤😳🌻 also just wanted to send u a reminder incase you forgot...You are a wonderful human! And im super happy to have met such a wonderful ray o sunshine on tumblr ☀️🌞 hope you are keeping safe and warm❤🦋🌻 Thabk you so much dear! Sending u tons of hugs🙌🙌🙌🌻❤🌞

My lovely Zeta, you’re making me blush. Love you, darling and you always brighten up my day with your sweetness. Here are some best bois for you. Tagging @delicateikemenmemes cause Theo... XD 

First kisses with Theodorus, Vincent and Isaac

Theodorus Van Gogh

The first time Theodorus kisses you, you feel alive and truly loved, desired and… needed.

He kisses you out of utter frustration from all the pent-up emotions he's been trying to hide, behind that handsome smug face of his.

Blame and thank his tsundere ass for this kiss.

Threading his fingers softly through your hair, his gentle touch was a contrast to the kiss he surprised attacked you with and the way he’s almost crushing you in his embrace.

Theodorus is fierce, holding you securely against him, not giving you the chance to pull away, even if you wanted to.

His kiss is full of hunger, claiming yours with an incredible sense of urgency and laced with so much passion and intensity as he licks and nips at you, coaxing you to open up for him, entwining his tongue with yours.

This man was making you dizzy, in the most blissful way anyone could do so and if you didn't happen to whine against his mouth and push your hands on his chest, he wouldn't have broken the kiss.

He literally took your breath away and he was almost completely content in not breathing at all, if it meant being connected to you.

His need for you threatened to consume him and his body was slightly shaking as he resisted the need to pull you in for another kiss.

Theo rests his forehead on yours and pants, just simply holding you in the most heartwarming embrace while tangling his fingers through your hair delicately. (Boy is trying to calm himself, okay?)

He'll curse under his breath for losing control then grin a bit abashed by his lack of composure and he’s also kinda blushing, only to find you resting your chin on his chest, looking up at him and smiling softly.

“What are you smiling about, Knabbeltje?”

“Hmm...” you pause to think, his eyes locked on yours then searching your face, captivated by the soft blush on the top of your cheeks. “Just the man I love.”

“H-Hondje… Y/N… You…” he attempts to use a warning tone but he can’t help but croon your name roughly.

“Your Hondje… Your Y/N.”

You poked his heart real hard.

And to put the cherry on top, you go on the tip of your toes, meeting his lips in a kiss that’s so sweet, the man actually melts and moans/sighs against your lips.

You’ve got him wrapped around your finger, darling.

PS: Theodorus Van Gogh is officially flatlining and you are now the sweetest thing he’s ever tasted and his favourite too.

Vincent Van Gogh

When inspiration strikes, this angel surrenders himself to his muse and is in a creative state of trance.

You often find him with paint streaks over his beautiful face and his hair ruffled in a complete mess, as if he thoughtlessly ran his lithe fingers through them over and over again.

In order to get him to stop and take a break (to have some Rouge or Blanc), you’d step in front of his stool, blocking his view from his canvas and give him something to drink and wipe the paint of his face.

He did look adorable but he began asking you to wipe the paint of his face. 

Honestly, he didn’t mind the paint. He just liked it when you were near.

Standing between his legs, you’d dip a piece of cloth in some water and wipe the paint off his cheek and even found paint stains on his face.

Leaning down, you started giggling as you found trouble removing bits of the paint, staining his skin/hair even more than before.

Looking up at you, Vincent was absolutely taken by you, the sound of your soft laughter and your peaceful expression.

Acting on impulse, he grabbed your wrist and pulled you down while he raised himself slightly from the stool, meeting you in the middle in a sweet chaste kiss with a happy smile.

You can feel him smile against your lips and it’s the sweetest thing on earth.

He pulls away only momentarily to assess your expression, seeing the most beautiful shade of pink dusting your cheek and a smile that matched his.

That’s all he needed to see. All that he ever wanted.

He would guide your hand over his shoulder and sit back down on his stool, pushing his knees apart while pulling you closer to him with a gentle hand on your waist.

His expression is relaxed and lips parted as your love for one another brings your lips together once more.

He whispers your name ardently against your lips. He didn’t need to say anything more… you simply knew.

As your lips brush against one another, Vincent sucks and licks your lips, humming with so much zeal, the sound so beguiling that you impulsively allow him to ravage you so sweetly with every push of his tongue against yours.

He draws you closer to sit on his lap, his hands now resting on your sides, caressing your form and squeezing you as you both surrender to your emotions. 

Isaac Newton

This cute bean has been staring at your lips all day. He feels an inexplicable pull to press his lips against yours and kiss you.

He doesn’t know why, he can’t even begin to understand why his body feels the way it does but he needs to do something about it.

You’re beautiful to him. You glimmer, you shimmer, you shine and he wants to bask in the light, the love and the happiness that you’ve shown him in life. 

You’re standing in front of his room, talking to him about something that he was meant to teach you when you suddenly find his face right in front of yours, leaning closer and closer and his nose bumps into yours.

That’s more than enough to make him scowl because his first try was a failure but before he could let his embarrassment overwhelm him (although his cheeks have already turned into the red shade of apples that he claims to hate), he cradles your face with trembling hands and tilts his head to the side, making sure that he angles himself correctly this time, laying the softest of kisses on your lips.

Breathing out nervously, Isaac is barely even able to meet your gaze, still wanting to see your reaction to what just happened.

Did you like it? Did you hate it? Was it wrong for him to do that?

Too many questions were running through that genius brain of his and you definitely knew that.

You firmly grabbed his hands that were placed on your face, ensuring that he doesn’t let his nervousness or hesitation take over.

You finally...  finally got a sign from this shy man and you wanted to let him know that you wanted the same thing he did.

You called his name almost pleadingly, forcing him to look into your eyes that showed nothing but love for him. 

You wanted more and you could see the same reflected in his cherry blossom eyes. 

“Kiss me. Kiss me again, Isaac.”

Your words almost made him choke, hearing the desperation in your voice.

Was that his heart fluttering in his chest or a bunch of butterflies? He couldn’t even tell. He didn’t care.

He just had to comply, leaning towards your lips once again, brushing them gingerly against yours.

Walking closer to him, you closed the distance between you and gradually deepened the kiss, his breath hitching under the intensity of your gentle assault and his knees threatening to buckle, if it wasn’t for the door that was now pressed against his back.

You pushed him against the door even harder as your body flush against his, biting his lower lip and licking your way through as he willingly parts them for you with a silent moan.

You press your tongue against him hungrily and he eventually does the same, pulling one other into the rising warmth and the now simultaneous beating of your hearts.

Isaac’s sense of gravity was completely lost but he couldn’t care less, he found everything that he needed in this moment... in you.

Hope you enjoyed this 💜 Please feel free to leave comments/feedback! Masterlist

[cleaduvalls]

i watched “spy kids” 4 times in 1 week and here are my thoughts

carmen your nightgown is like 200 years old, get a new one

you clearly know this story by heart, you’re saying parts of it. why are you questioning what “take him out” means

a double wig should be more obvious than that

we can see that that’s a glass elevator. people can see you changing, ingrid

nice hat

why did you kill the swan

is that paul rudd???????

how are jets ripping pages out of a book

heart shaped parachutes shouldn’t be working that well

why is there a guitar on your bed. how do you sleep

i think the kids would have seen the track in the floor at SOME point

why is there a jungle gym in their house. i know they’re spies but who has a jungle gym.... in their HOUSE

carmen you’re a frog

i think juni just legitimately try to kill carmen

why are both parents going to school. is that like, a Thing????

juni how do you do that

who puts a video screen in the front seat

hey look its floop. love that guy

they’re not picking on you for the bandages, it’s cuz you brought the toys OUTSIDE your backpack. always put them inside. trust me

did his mirror just.... zoom in?????

h*ck yeah beat him up greg

do all the other kids hate him too??????

dang that hurt

“chief” that’s so white

stupid kid. his dads a spy

that floop doll isn’t even close to accurate

hey look its floop again. love that dude

Big Willy Wonka Energy

oooh skipping numbers i see. love that

why do the subtitles have “mr. floop” as his name. its just floop, yall

“sometimes in order to think big you have to think small” pretty inspirational tbh

oh hes fidgeting!!!!!! love that

woah what are you doing this is rated pg ingrid

i wish my uncles would tell me im shrinking. they just make small talk abt school 😔

this gradenko lady looks like jan from the office

hey its floop again!!!!! love that dude

yes juni. its a fire drill in your own home

these dudes have a jungle gym AND a pool. what the h*ck

why did you pull off your mustache to prove you’re not related. if anything that makes you more related. greg does that too

why did he put the mustache back ON

where did those boats come from

carmen says manual weird. man-yull

right, cuz adrenaline causes warts

“don’t touch anything” *immediately touches everything*

basic boat ettiquette: don’t shit in the boat. those toilets can’t handle anything

is that globe..... punched in???????

floop!!!!!!! love that dude

feet on the desk????? i dunno seems pretty gay

since when did carmen get keys to that

i might be wrong but i dont think thats every country

what does pressure have to do with positioning a laser

this floor is the best mechanic in the whole movie. reminds me of a richie rich comic i had as a kids

why did they not run into the wall. i wanted to see that

is the slide there when floop films his show????

HEY ITS FLOOP!!!! love that dude

theres a bunch of normal food like.... sour worms. why did they pick the slime from charlie and the chocolate factory when johnny depp finds the oompa loompas

thats a sick coat. best one in the movie

that was a good snap. nice acoustics

God what a power move. something thanos would say

listen floop i love you but thats not how you say research

fELIX NO

and hes gone. cool

did she kick the camera?????

haha author unknown. cuz hes a spy

why did you take that one specifically????? plot convenience????

he can still be a spy, just not a good one. learn to read

is that supposed to be a question?????

FUN FACT if you listen closely when carmen says “like felix said” you can hear a weird cut in “said”, almost like its a new clip

theres no keyhole

i think juni can read. why are you spelling it

did you have the floop toys in your pocket????

OKAY THIS SCENE WHERE THEY PLAY IT BACKWARDS?????? THAT MESSED ME UP AS A KID 

what do those things do?????

i can feel the pain from the fan blades

how did that break the chain????

why would you annouce that. they can hear you. just because they’re thumbs doesn’t mean they’re deaf

that’s a thing, not a place

FLOOP!!!!! ON A BILLBOARD!!!! love that dude

how are you slipping. shes holding YOU

YOU DROPPED HIM GENIUS

how do people not notice the jetpack dudes

DOES NO ONE CARE THAT CLOTHES WERE STOLEN

that’s a cute coat

why is the lady cool with carmen just... doing that

HEY I LOVE THIS SONG!!!!!!!!! AND THAT DUDE!!!!!

ofc you can’t think “straight enough” you’re gay

why is mexico sepia tone

when do you think juni had time to change and learn a new language

IF IT HURTS TO HIT HIM, S T O P

i wanna be on that merry-go-round

HOW DO YOU K N O W THAT HIS CODE NAME. WHY “MUST” IT BE HOMBRE

i love how junis just like “we already got a fake uncle”

LOOK AT HOW FLOOP IS SITTING!!!!!!!! THATS GAY!!!!!!! HE IS A HOMOSEXUAL!!!!!!!!

ALSO MORE FLOOP!!!! say it with me, LOVE THAT DUDE!!!!!!!!!!

minion looks like barry from friends

wait i lied this coat is better

we DO have uncles like that!!!!!

if your inventions are so good why is your font so BORING

hey wait carmen said that. hmmmmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

glowsticks dont help you see like at all

the map looks like gallifreyan but its not. spy kids is older than the doctor who reboot

they go ZOOM

THATS NOT HOW YOU SAY MANUAL!!!!!!!

great job carmen YOU wrecked the plane

WHATS A REGULATOR

oh its just a breathing thing

haha pee joke. funney

where are the brains coming from???? that factory is Not Correct

if i were juni i would look back over all the floop’s fooglies tapes and see what the agents were saying backwards. once the mission was done, ofc

it took me like 5 minutes to figure out what sknaht meant the first time

SEE THIS MECHANIC IS GOOD BC NOW THERES NO PLEXIGLASS

WHY DOES NO ONE RUN INTO THE WALL

F L O O P  I S  G O D

love that dude

you discussed with the spy parents that juni watched the show. he just told you that you took his parents. you KNOW this is juni, why are you surprised that he watches it????? you already know!!!!!!

tbh i kinda want some of those colorful chains. they’d look cool somewhere

haha voice crack

no wonder your shows not doing well. those are awful times

why is there a sexy thumb nurse. why did floop make the thumb nurse sexy

use her first name?????? you’re clearly dating

!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!! UNHEARD OF!!!!!!!

he cares so much about this show!!!!!! its so sweet!!!! love that dude

YEP THIS COAT IS BETTER, LOOKS A M A Z I N G IN A RUNNING SCENE

haha you killed carmen

ok this scene with the acid crayon is like my absolute favorite. something about using a crayon to escape and then floop (love that dude) opening the door a second later and then doing a double take. FAVE

wheres belize

ok so apparently its a country by mexico

no you CANT tell her you need to ESCAPE

we finally got a clean outside shot of the castle.... that place is wack

haha minion can’t sit in the hand chair correctly because hes STRAIGHT what a loser

hey juni HOW DO YOU DO THAT

minion you know what the robot costumes look like AND what juni looks like. dont be stupid

what..... what do you want carmen for, exactly, minion??????

floop is supportive of others’ art!!!!!!!!!!! love that dude

HE SAID “WHERE’S MOM AND DAD” LIKE THEY’RE HIS OWN PARENTS THAT’S SO C U T E

ALSO ANOTHER SCENE WITH THE GREAT RUNNING COAT

he says doppelganger beautifully

“its too late” that timing was BEAUTIFUL

you COULD take 500 brains out if you just TRIED HARDER. still love that dude

his control panel has buttons that spell “floop”

WHY CAN MINION TALK NORMAL

if its reversible why do you have it in later movies

carmen fights fake juni and juni fights fake carmen because they didnt have the fancy clone (?) technology

THREE TIMES!!!!!! THEY USED THE SAME TOOL T H R E E  T I M E S THIS HAS NEVER BEEN SEEN BEFORE!!!!!!!!!!!

nice censorship

HOW DID MACHETE SMASH ONLY THE CLEAR WINDOWS AND A L L THE CLEAR WINDOWS THERE ARE NO MORE CLEAR WINDOWS!!!!!! ANYWHERE!!!!!

wow nice 3 buttons thats totally how you hack

oh look they have all died

oh. guess not :((

machete you better rip off your mustache

HES GOING TO JUNIS LEVEL TO TALK TO HIM!!!!!!! HE RUFFLED HIS HAIR!!!!!!!!! HES GONNA MAKE A GREAT DAD!!!!!!!

wow no shit ingrid

did he leave his wart bandaid on the kitchen counter?????

ALAN CUMMING!!!! ON A CEREAL BOX!!!!

ok CLEARLY other people watch floop’s show, he’s rated number 2. kids at the school are gonna recognize juni and carmen. they better get popular

is that george clooney

well that’s not how it works in spy kids 2. or 3. or 4. or the tv show

[nananikki-hey]

ALL THOSE BOOTIFUL QUESTIONS FOR DA SNAS

I did all my boys cause I got hit with all the inspiration.

How old were you when you & your F/O(s) first met?Sans: I was 18. He was (122) 24 in human terms.

Red: I was 19. He was (135) 26 in human terms.

Jaws: I was 16. He was (150) 29 in human terms. He was reaaaal hesitant about dating someone so young.

Did you & your F/O(s) get along at first or did it take time?Sans: We got a long like a house on fire almost immediately, though romantically speaking I was gone with a crush on him immediately. Took him a few months after.

Red: Red and I had a really rough start, he wasn’t too keen on humans or the idea of being friends with any since he came up to the surface and was met with racism. Though I’m a persistent jackass and didn’t leave him alone until I got him to crack and laugh at one of my jokes. By then he was the one that couldn’t leave me alone. Took almost a solid 2 months. Romantically, it didn’t even take close to as long, about a month after and we’d both fell for each other.

Jaws: OH THIS GUY- lemme tell you; he did not like me at ALL. I was a nervous wreck whole time I met him, being new to monsters in general, but he was a hulking mass of scaring that purposely intimidated me into the ground. Growling at me and not smiling at all, giving me the dark eyed stare. It wasn’t until I awkwardly stumbled over a pun that he kind of cracked a smile and I knew he wasn’t all bad. Took me meeting Crooks for him to really relax around me. Anyone who immediately liked his bro was good in his books. Romantically, he didn’t even touch the idea with a ten foot pole until I was 18, he didn’t want to come off as a creep who liked kids. Even then he’d complained about being too old for me. Though I’d already been gone with a crush on him for a solid year.

Who asked who out first?Sans: I asked him, though at the time it’d been more of a friend date.

Red: As soon as Red knew he wanted me, he very bluntly told me so and took me out.

Jaws: I did. Though I was flat out rejected at first, since he strongly disliked how young I was in comparison to him, in monster and human terms. I’d down right given up after, but after Tori explained to him a humans full life span and that I WAS indeed considered an adult, he’d given me a shot and asked me out.

Where did you go on a first date?Sans: Stargazing in the backyard using his old telescope, simple but magical.

Red: Out to Grillby’s, as he’d said; “Only the best for my Doll.”

Jaws: We’d stayed in and watched a movie. He was too shy to take me out on our first few dates, he hadn’t wanted anyone to see me out with him. He was really self conscious of his looks, and didn’t want anyone to give me shit for being with a monster.

Does your F/O have any silly nicknames for you?Sans: We call each other Squish and Squash occasionally. Cause I’m squishy, and he likes to squash me.

Red: He’ll call me Ripper cause I TORE MY PANTS THAT ONE TIME-

Jaws: Slip ‘n’ Slide. Cause I’ve a bad tendency to forget to take my socks off and end up slipping on tiles and polished wood a lot. Like, way too often.

What is your favourite thing about your F/O(s)?Sans: I love his eyes, and how they really convey his emotions. Heart eyes are a rare occurrence but I’ve only ever seen them happen for Pap and I so they’re special.

Red: His gold tooth. His ashamed of it, cause it’s a reminder of the first fight he’d ever lost, but that just makes me kiss it a lot more. He’s slowly starting to pout about it less.

Jaws: Just…him. His presence. Anytime he enters a room I just immediately feel safe and happy.

Do you like to cuddle with your F/O(s)?Sans: He’ll randomly just fall on me, wrap his arms around me and not get up. So even if I didn’t like it I’d have no choice.

Red: He likes to tickle me if I cuddle him, so I love it but at the same time he makes me want to kick him.

Jaws: he’s down for cuddles anytime, I just gotta sit in his lap and it’s cuddle city!

Tell a funny story about your F/O(s)Sans: During a game of Beer Pong at Grillby’s I accidentally threw a ping pong ball in his eye, it was rattling around in there for weeks until he just…sneezed it out.

Red: He’s a sleep talker. He’ll have full, nonsense conversations in his sleep. Once he’d confessed his love for his hot dog stand and I think they got married? I have it on tape and stored away for Anime Night so I can show Alphys and Undyne.

Jaws: He purrs sometime, but unintentionally, and when we’re cuddling. He vehemently denies it though.

When was your first kiss with your F/O(s)?Sans: On our third date, I initiated it cause he was too much of a flustered mess when I asked.

Red: First date, surprisingly chaste kiss on the cheek as a goodnight.

Jaws: A month after we started dating he finally gave into my prodding and we kissed. It was just a peck, he’d been too scared of accidentally nicking me with his teeth.

Who’s the big spoon?Sans: We switch, it just depends on if I’m prepared to get bruised by bones or not.

Red: He is, he will never ever ever be the little spoon….okay maybe here was that one time, but don’t tell anybody!

Jaws: It’s mostly him, cause he’s massive. But if he’s in need of comfort or extra assurance about himself, I’ll manage.

Do you & your F/O(s) go out a lot or tend to stay in more?Sans: We go out the most, stargazing is our thing. He’s also a fan of camping out in the forest.

Red: Will never say no to a lazy date in the house, but if he’s feeling good he’ll take me out to a fancy restaurant. He spoils me too much.

Jaws: We rarely go out for a date, he’s still too ashamed of himself, he’s getting better about it but we’ll still end up going somewhere secluded. Most public thing we’ve done is go to the movies.

How do you comfort your F/O(s) when they are upset?Sans: I can’t touch him when he’s initially upset, or in a majorly bad mood. But if he’s not too bad I’ll just silently hug him. He doesn’t like talking about things that upset him.

Red: I actually cant touch him at all until he’s completely cooled down. If he’s mad I leave him alone or he’ll lash out at me, if he’s sad I’ll sit and talk with him. He opens up occasionally when that’s the case, he cries a lot.

Jaws: First sign he’s upset is he’ll come pick me up, take me to his room, and just cuddle me. He doesn’t like talking things out, he just wants to hold me. I don’t push it and ask, the first time I did…well, I don’t want to give him another panic attack.

What’s your favourite activity you & your F/O(s) do togetherDoes sex count-//SLAP

Sans: Stargazing.

Red: If you ask him, it’s sex. He just won’t admit he likes to just sit and watch me do things. Just being around each other is nice.

Jaws: Taking naps together. We both end up getting really good sleep.

What was your first argument with your F/O(s) about?Sans: About moving in together, he didn’t want to put me at risk, since they’d been having vandalism problems.

Red: About our relationship. He was still nervous about the whole Monster/Human thing.

Jaws: He’d been a bit controlling and tried to put me on a curfew, not allowed to be out past 7pm. I argued back cause I would have lost my job. Turns out he’d just been worried cause of the amount of stabbing sin my country. So we’d comprised and on nights I worked he’d pick me up, and if I went out without him I’d text him every hour. It does get tiresome but I know he’s just anxious.

Who cooks for who most often?Sans: Ha, Papyrus spoils us both. But Sans will occasionally bake me something for special occasions. Or if he thinks he fucked up and wants to get on my good side.

Red: Boss handles the cooking and we are both banned from the kitchen cause neither of us can cook to his standards. Red will take me out for fancy food though.

Jaws: He’s taken over cooking since we’ve started dating. Food was a big thing Underground, and Sans considers it a major show of affection to cook me food. I’m not complaining, he’s food’s fucking amazing.

Where is their favorite place to be kissed?Sans: The neck vertebrae, makes him hot and bothered.

Red: he’s a horn dog, loves a kiss on the pelvis.

Jaws: He says he likes it when I kiss the cracks in his skull, I don’t do it often though, it makes him happy cry. And he hates crying.

Is your f/o ticklish?Sans: this fucker- t h i s f u c k e r- is ticklish on his funny bone, and his funny bone ONLY.

Red: touch the back of his skull just were the vertebrae connect and his first knee jerk reaction will be to punch whoever did it in the face. His incredibly ticklish there, and his spine.

Jaws: he ain’t ticklish anywhere, his magic is stretched too thin to be particularly sensitive anywhere.

How would you describe your f/o’s laugh?Sans: High pitched wheezing, the exact opposite of his voice. It’s almost like giggles.

Red: It’ll start with a snort then desolve into loud bellows of deep laughter. He’ll slap his knee or a table to accompany it.

Jaws: Raspy chuckles. Though occasionally he’ll let out a wheezy bellow Laughter right from the gut.

What’s their favorite kind if date?Sans: Stargazing, particularly when it’s clear out. He’s started to study astrology so it never gets old for him.

Red: He likes the type of dates that start out wholesome and warm, that slowly devolve into teasing and end with a passionate fuck in bed.

Jaws: He likes snuggle dates on the couch, with a nice comedy movie or when we read together.

Do you propose to them or do they propose to you?Sans: he’ll propose to me in the showiest way possible. A mariachi band will 100% be involved.

Red: he’s gonna do it quietly, in private. So he can be tender about it without worrying about prying eyes.

Jaws: he’d 100% reject me if I proposed. So he’d have to be the one proposing, much like Red he’d do it privately, so any rejection he’d potentially receive wouldn’t be public. He has too much anxiety already.

Does your f/o want kids?Sans: He wants a girl. Says he’s had enough of raising boisterous boys from when he had to raise Paps.

Red: Just wants a kid. He’d love to be a dad, though he doesn’t admit that a lot.

Jaws: He doesn’t want children. He’s too ashamed of himself and what he’d had to do Underground. The memories of some of the ways the kids died Underground still get to him.

What does your f/o smell like?Sans: Bones, ketchup, way to much perfume and pine trees.

Red: He’s got a metallic smell to him, kinda like rusted metal. Also mustard.

Jaws: no matter how hard he tries to wash it out, there’s always the lingering smell of blood left on his bones. He also smells like stake and coffee.

How does your f/o sleep? (some examples: Do they toss and turn or are they still? Do they snore? Do they talk in their sleep? Are they sleepwalkers?)Sans: Twitches like a dog and snores in his sleep, occasionally he’ll mutter nonsense. He a surprisingly heavy sleeper.

Red: Sleeps like the dead, completely still. Snores quietly but is a major sleep talker.

Jaws: He doesn’t sleep often, about 4 times a week but when he does he rarely stays asleep. He’s a very light sleeper and occasionally sleep walks around the house.

Does your f/o like video games, or do they prefer books?Sans: he loves both, don’t make him chose.

Red: Give him Bloodbourne, Dark Souls or Skyrim and he’ll be gone for weeks. He also has a weirdly morbid fixation with Pokemon. “so ther’ monsters right? an’ I get ta fight ‘em to tha death? sweet.”

Jaws: he prefers a nice quiet book over video games, especially violent ones. But he likes the Harvest Moon games.

Does your f/o like movies? If yes, what kinds?Sans: give this man a sci-fi movie and he’ll be completely enthralled, his eyes will get real wide and he’ll be super focused. Also classic comedy movies are his jam.

Red: Horror movies and comedies. If it’s both he’ll watch it like 10 fucking times in a row and laugh just as loudly at the jokes.

Jaw: Please make sure the movie doesn’t contain blood, it could trigger him into a panic attack. He likes wholesome or dirty comedies, and a few fantasy films; like Harry Potter!

Does your f/o have any habits?Sans: Sans…baby…PICK UP YOUR SHIT.

Red: ALSO PICK UP YOUR SHIT. And stop putting the empty milk back in the fridge!

Jaws: He picks at his crack when he’s anxious, or will drum his fingers loudly and fast. He also forgets to take care of himself a lot, I have to gently remind him to eat or shower.

When they smile how does it make you feel?Sans: When its genuine I can never stop myself from grinning like a dork back. Makes me happy to see him happy.

Red: He smirks more than smiles, and it has got me really horny on more than one occasion. But genuine, gentle smiles have got me giggling. Which immediately makes him a flustered mess.

Jaws: whenever he genuinely smiles I actually have to fight back tears. He’s getting better, but he doesn’t get genuinely happy enough to smile often.

What your favorite word to hear your f/o say?Sans: “Nekaya.” My name, cause whenever he says it, it’s usually followed by a lovely surprise or genuine compliment.

Red: “Sweetheart.” Depending on the tone this word does all sorts of things to me.

Jaws: “Love.” He isn’t open with his feelings enough, but when he is it’s always a special moment.

Can your describe your f/o’s voice?Sans: Deep and lulling. Like what a male siren might sound like.

Red: Deep and growly, the slightest shift in tone can make or break your day.

Jaws: deep, quiet and raspy. He doesn’t talk for too long.

Can you describe how your f/o kisses?Sans: Slow and lazy, true to his nature. He falls asleep kissing me a lot.

Red: Just…rough. Even when his gentle there’s an edge to it.

Jaws: hesitant but sincere, like he’s giving it his all but he’s expecting you to pull away.

[rosyredlipstick]

important facts & quotes from hidden oracle reread #4 part one

i cited everything from the hardback edition bc im a nerd 

- page one apollo is already making pop culture references (1)

- meg is such a badass oh my g od (14)

- riodan does such a beautiful way of explaining things in this novels. awe-inspiring. mind blowing. example: “Her eyes glinted darkly like a crow’s. (I can make that comparison because I invented crows.)” (14-15) wow. beautiful. 

- so i understand this series is going to be about Apollo’s redemption and ~~~~finding himself~~~~ or w\e but JESUS PLEASE RICK you can’t just say “She [Meg] reminded me of the strays my sister was always adopting: dogs, panthers, homeless maidens, small dragons.” (15) WITHOUT PROVIDING SEVERAL BOOKS AS EXAMPLE FOR SAID SENTENCE all i want is a book focused on artemis and her army of small dragons and lesbians dear gods please 

- omfg can you just imagine sally having to go over to Percy’s room and having to tell him that the greek god of the sun apollo was there to see him omfg. imagine the salt. imagine both of them just groaning. imagine.

-”If I had still been an immortal, I might have flirted with her [Sally Jackson] myself.” (30-31) l o l Sally is a middle aged married woman seven months pregnant and still bringing in the gods you go girl im proud of you

- Sally Jackson is one of the best characters in the entire series. citation: every riodan book ever even the non-pjo it’s a fact 

- i 10000% support the idea that percy gave apollo the led zeppelin shirt as a sneaky joke he’s so smart i love him so much

- “Percy laced his fingers. They were long and nimble.”(35) ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

- He [Percy] would have made an excellent musician.” (35) f u ck 

- literally all percy wants is to “stay alive” long enough to go to college, meet his baby sister, and see his mom get her book published my heart is broken for this boy (35-36)

- the return of the seven layer dip fuck me up (40)

- jfc that poor Prius it’s been through so much (52-54)

- page 67 and Percy’s already made two comic book references he’s such a canon nerd 

- “Cops love me almost as much as teachers do.” god Percy Jackson what are you doing to me

- apollo tried to order a pizza to CHB and honestly same (73)

- g o d will solace jfc wow

- we’re to assume Will’s a skier (his Okemo Mountain jacket & skiers tan) (82) and now i have to write the inevitable fic that comes out of this fact

- Will’s mom was a alt.-country singer from Austin, Texas (83) which wow and honestly makes the fact will is a horrible singer 1000% better

- yellow daises grow year-round in the Apollo cabin, and it smells like fresh linens and dried sage. (83)

- kayla is aiming for the olympics and honestly im so proud already 

- fact: any and all solangelo interaction have me crying into my book 

- “Will put his hand on Nico’s shoulder, ‘Nico, we need to have another talk about your people skills.’” lol this implies that they’ve had this talk before and im dying to hear it

- the Hermes kids are big fans of Rocky Horror Picture Show (95) and now i have to write a seperate list of headcanons for this fact

- speaking of, Apollo used to cosplay as Rocky bc why not. (95-96)

- listen i know im solangelo trash BUT - “Will and Nico sat shoulder to shoulder, bantering good-naturedly. They were so cute together it made me feel desolate.” im destroyed (110)

- “but if I sit alone at my table, strange things happen.” “it’s a mood disorder” “i cant control it” stfu nico u nerd u just want to sit with your boyfriend im dead (110)

- Will nodded serenely. “It’s the strangest thing. Not that Nico would ever misuse his powers to get what he wants.” death to goody-two-shoes will solace 2k17

- off topic but CAN YOU JUST IMAGINE CHIRON THO. like. this happens and will and nico are just standing there. in front of him. telling him they have to sit together OR NICO WILL JUST HAPPEN TO PUT CRACKS INTO HIS CAMP. just imagine. him staring at them. sighing. deciding not to fight this one. agreeing & watching them giggle away bc they’re so SNEAKY & now they can EAT TOGETHER WOW 

-   lol when Meg was going to town on the hot dogs and “Julia and Alice watched her with a mixture of fascination and horror.” (111)

- “Will and Nico exchanged a look that might have meant, here we go.” (112) okay im sorry im just sO GONE FOR LITTLE MOMENTS LIKE THIS I JUST WANT NICO TO BE HAPPY AND COMFORTABLE IN HIS RELATIONSHIPS OKAY

- apollo refers to the seven as “the A-list” (112) same tho

- Jason, Piper, Coach Hedge, Mellie and baby Chuck are all in LA with Piper’s father like???? (113) THIS IS SOMETHING I NEED TO SEE? What’s the living arrangement? Is Jason living with Piper? OH GOD IS JASON LIVING WITH HEDGE AND MELLIE? DO THEY ALL LIVE IN SOME BIG PLACE PIPER’S DAD RENTED OUT???? do Piper and Jason babysit? do they have family dinners? how’s baby chuck doing??? how are they all adjusting to domestic life?? I NEED TO KNOW THIS IS ALL VERY IMPORTANT TO ME 

- lol nico’s just as pissed as eveRYONE IN THE FANDOM about Leo’s not-death and im living for it (113)

- also nico carries around Leo’s lil ‘IM ALIVE LOL’ letter\hologram\thing? like i get it was completely for the plot but?????? “i look at it whenever i want to get angry” (114) like ok nico u lil bean whatever u say u little emo shit

- apollo’s little ‘lol when u have a headache in olympus hephaestus just cracks open your skull and removes whatever brain god\dess u just birthed up lol it’s so much easier ugh’ (116) w h a t t h e f u c k 

- fact: harley is adorable no citation needed

- also you’re telling me chiron, basically as old as time itself tbh, doesn’t speak portuguese? k (120)

- “i am merely assessing how well paolo’s arms are functioning after surgery” (120) those are some big words william u nervous or something??

- “hmph” - nico di angelo, 2016 (120) 

- this isn’t really important but there’s a satyr named herbert and he’s my new favorite character sorry i dont make the rules (124)

- ok so there’s an unnamed random camper who mutters in Italian (127) and now i’ve got the BIGGEST headcanon that this random girl and Nico (omg maybe a few others????) meet a few times a month just to rant to each other in Italian so none of them get sloppy with the language and u g h im such a bitch for nico di angelo frienships

- “A boy in the crowd gasped, ‘she’s a communist!’” (127) i fucking hate this book omfg

i’ll do more later in order to mentally prepare myself for the dark prophecy but it’s 3 am and im tired