#cartman’s journal

[up-side-in-side-out]

Idk if anyone’s done this before, but this was stuck in my head for three days

Timelapse and original below vvvv

Ngl it was hard to figure out which box to put Stan and Kyle in cause they fit in both

[gummiibladii]

sus park (also the thin yassified cuntman drawing was done as a joke dont take it seriously lmao)

[cheesy-poofs]

I was watching "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" and I just want everyone to look at Eric's little drawing of Kyle here.

[gaystan]

just want to remind you all that cartman’s journal is canonically full of gay porn he drew himself

[mewtwosart]

Hey kymannies! For those of you who follow me on Twitter, you may be aware of a series I did called "Cartman's Journal," which basically is just a mini fanfic told through Cartman's journal entries.

I've been asked plenty of times if I would ever upload it to tumblr or ao3, but I decided to just combine it all into one PDF for people to read, download, and save, god forbid my accounts ever get deleted.

Click here for the link!

[11x13kyle]

South park girls I think are fujoshis:

-shelly (she has the stereotypical personality and appearance of a fujoshi)

-bebe

-season 21 Heidi (she and Cartman would write notebooks of Kyle being in the gayest scenarios possible)

cartman and heidi are sitting on his bed and he turns to her and goes “heidi……i’m gonna show you something i’ve never shown anyone.” and he pulls out his journal and starts flipping through his drawings and giving detailed explanations for all of them and she just sits there like this

[summertrynnacope]

CW: Nazism, TribeTwelve, swear words, (vent??)

Spoilers for EMH, Canyouseethewords blog, TribeTwelve and Sebastian's Journal.

Hi, it's me again. No shit. So. It's been like a month since the whole drama unfolded and I haven't stopped thinking about it since. I know things have quieted down lately, and like many others, I wish we could all move on and forget this ever happened. However, I can't simply recover from it, mainly because I feel the posts about me continue to spread on this platform, radiating the negativity and false info about me to this day. This drama has been devouring me for a long time now, and I've decided to make another post. I gotta admit I haven't been 100% honest in my previous post, it was more of my attempt to back off, cry over it and avoid this drama. But I'm not doing that again. I'm done pretending and I'm tired of being nice and tolerating others when they're completely misguided. I'm fucking angry. That's why I decided to make one more post about this and I have so many things to say. This is not another apology post, think of it as a vent post and recap explanation of everything where I'll be brutally honest.

Also, if anyone of you is a Nazi supporter, get the fuck out. I do not welcome you here.

First of all, I do not understand why my efforts have been ignored. I did everything that was asked of me. I acknowledged my so-called ''mistakes'', I owned up to them, deleted the posts, apologized, explained my intentions, and you decide to just fucking ignore it?? What do you want from me then, huh? I'm not the ignorant here, you are fucking ignorants. Made me realize I actually haven't done anything wrong. Made me wonder if I should've even deleted those posts, I put a lot of effort into them, and some people actually liked them. It's not my fault some of you are sensitive and brainwashed by censorship culture and you can't accept or understand a canon-accurate depiction of characters. You think I've been sweeping something under the rug? No. In fact, it's the opposite. You've been sweeping this whole shit under the rug by dismissing me as a Nazi supporter, just because I drew something that was considered canon for so many years. I've done nothing wrong, I've been honest about my art the entire time. I draw what I enjoy and what is accurate to the lore. I love history and the Slenderverse, and I draw canon-accurate content, yet you get mad over it. It's so ridiculous. If this post can't open your fucking eyes, I don't know what else will, and frankly I don't care anymore. I'm done with this shit. I've acted like the adult I am, and took responsibility. However I'm not going to to point any fingers or dismiss anyone specifically, because I am not like this.

And to everyone: If you don't like something, just ignore it. But if it really seems problematic and malicious, why not contact the person directly and talk it out, or find ways to know their true intentions instead of making hundreds of hate-posts about them like some pissy children. This is such a toxic behavior.

About the whole Nazi stuff:

Don't get me wrong. Nazism is a sensitive topic, I understand that. But I think being offended by it right now, in the 21st century, is just so ridiculous to me. I understand it can get very annoying tho. They talk about WW2 and the Austrian painter on TV non-stop. But being offended by some art? Like, are you serious. Do you realize Nazi shit has been in so many fanfiction, stories and literature for so many years, and you have no reason to get offended by it? The Nazi concept has been used in so many media, whether just for a joke or a serious plot point. South Park, Family Guy, Indiana Jones, Marvel Universe, X-Men, The Boys, and God knows what else.. Would you get offended by a fanart of cute little fat boy Eric Cartman? Of course not. But I can easily say: ''He's a Nazi! You drew a cute fanart of him! You're a Nazi supporter!'' That's you. That's how you sound. Do you see how ridiculous that is? There are thousands of people shipping him with Kyle Broflovski, oh but he's a Jew, and they hate each other in the show. Yet there are artists who make ship art of them. Does anyone complain? At the end of the day, they're just fictional characters, and I rather ignore it even if it kinda annoys me. Btw, South Park is just an example of this issue, I'm not targeting anyone or anything specifically here.

The Brandit post:

I really need to go back and add something to that post of HABIT saying ''LET'S FUCK AND PISS OFF OUR ANCESTORS.'' which creeped Firebrand out (honest reaction). That quote seemed really harsh, I know. Was it bad humor? Yeah.. But do I regret drawing this? At this point, I must say no. I did not stutter. As I said, I will be brutally honest from now on. Do you think HABIT wouldn't say that? Do you think he wouldn't say something sexual to a Jewish person, or frankly to anyone really? Yes, he would!! It's in his nature, he's fucked up. Are we trynna ignore the fucking scene of HABIT pulling the jerk off gesture at Noah?? Did we all not see the same thing?? He is like this. He makes fun of him while adding Christmas decorated borders on a letter for him. He's aware Noah is Jewish, yet he pulls a sexual gesture at him. Don't try to deny this one.

About the symbols... From what I've just said, I drew the little symbols there next to them (Star of David and Hakenkreuz) because I wanted people to see and realize the fact that these two guys are a Jew and a (former) Nazi, which people have been sweeping under the rug, not me. Also, if anyone remembers the post I made, I believe I wrote ''I should have put Christmas borders there as well/jk.'' under it or something like that. I removed it later on because people didn't seem to get it. It was obviously a reference to Severance. Everything I draw is a fucking reference. That being said, this post was made for awareness, not romanticization, and I do not ship them, neither romantically nor platonically, I just really like drawing them together, because if their iconic trope, canon interactions, mutual respect and shared spite for Slenderman, and the fact that HABIT helped Noah many times. That's it. Also, I wouldn't ship HABIT with anyone romantically. That is just wrong in so many levels.

Canyouseethewords blog and Sebastian's Journal:

If you didn't grasp the point of the Josef Mengele post either, go read Canyouseethewords blog here on Tumblr. It's part of the EMH lore. Basically, this blog belonged to Evan's girlfriend Stephanie, but HABIT takes over the blog later on and makes various posts about infamous real serial killers, such as Ed Gein, Jack the Ripper, and even the Nazi doctor, Josef Mengele. Whether HABIT wanted to imply that he's possessed those various people, that part of lore remains silent. At some point, I believed he's possessed those various people, so I wanted to to draw one of them, and I chose to draw Josef simply because I liked the idea of the connection with him and The Event from T12. That's it. And if that weren't the case that he's possessed any of those people, which would be rather a big relief, he's still possessed a different Nazi character in T12, which has been retconned. A character that no one really seems to know of, which is understandable. I get that some people don't want to analyze and support T12 anymore after what Adam did. In all honesty, I think sometimes it's best to separate the creator from the creation. I hate Adam, but I love T12. Anyway, in the story of Sebastian's Journal is a guy named Sergeant Heine who is (or was supposed to be) possessed by HABIT at some point. It implies to Severance where HABIT said he's been working with a group of Nazis on a particular project, including Sebastian. However, that connection has been retconned.

The HABIT/Nazi lore shit, people keep complaining and pissing about for no reason:

Listen, it was part of the lore for so many years that it's difficult to simply ignore it now. As someone who's been part of the Slenderverse fandom for years, going back, I just cannot think of it as a non-canon at this point. And I've already said the point of HABIT's character, and you all should know this by now. However I'll clarify it again anyways. The point is that he's an abomination of all the horrific actions humanity has committed, including atrocities of Nazism. He's done so many bad shit, as if eating a baby on screen wasn't enough, yet, of all the things he's done, people get mad over him being a former Nazi?? Like are you kidding me.. It's so ridiculous and hypocritical.

However... When I think about it, maybe HABIT was never even a Nazi, I mean- Working with them is one thing. He probably doesn't even give a single fuck about some ideology bullshit. He likely participated in the Nazi party purely for the sake of killing people. He wouldn't care less if his victims were Jews, Romani, or anyone else, he simply enjoys killing people for the sake of torture. Heck, he doesn't even remember the name of the party he was in. In Severance, he stuttered when trying to say ''Nazis'', which, in my opinion, was funny as hell. But that one is just an idea of his character.

Anyway. Even if HABIT wasn't a former Nazi at all, would it change anything? Absolutely not. He would still be the same horrible piece of shit he is. And sorry not sorry, but he was never meant to be a likable character. As a well-written antagonist, yes. But as a person? Hell no, so far from it. There is literally no reason for people to get mad over him being a former Nazi, and if you are, it's hypocritical of you, considering everything else he's done.

I must say one more thing, and it's the only thing I'm truly sorry for is that I didn't put content warnings and explanations on those posts. I made people angry unnecessarily for my impulsive actions.

I think that's all. Perhaps I've learned something by the end of the day, and I hope that at least some of you who are reading this, have learned something as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this (if you have), I appreciate it so much. See you on the flipside.

[buttfrovski]

Hand over the headcannon list(s)

do your best to vibe read cuz i don't have specific labels in mind and my analyses were too long

stan - i don't know. he doesn't know. he won't ever know.

kyle - teen/young adult kyle with a girl? fs! so cute! pcov kyle with a girl? be serious...

cartman - BEEEEEEEE SERIOUSSSSSS!!! outside of the dressing up in drag- can we talk about dressing up like britney spears and making out with a justin timberlake cutout? in his own time? in the privacy of his backyard? can we talk about tweek x craig? bro was yanking it to a homoerotic fantasy of him and ... cupid him... his mom even saw and got the impression he was gay. his own hallucination wanted to "be like tweek and craig." bro is secretly into yaoi of them. i don't SHIP them but i thought the thing with wendy was sweet. like how he tried to make her laugh. although cartman was purposely ooc for a joke, i thought him and heidi and yentyl were cute. moreover, although his obsession with kyle and making kyle do things like suck his balls or ginger cow are more about power and humiliation than sexuality... dont u think it's weird that THATS his go to? nothing else? or his plot to ruin kyle's relationship with nicole was... pretend to be his boyfriend? it's effective but? also guess who showed up pretty frequently in his little porn journal? i think people avoid acknowledging these aspects of his sexuality because they're perverted and gross rather than innocent and appropriate for a boy his age, which is understandable. joke/satire or not it's kinda disturbing. (esp the tweek x craig scene is hard to watch) but it is still strong evidence. his gender and sexuality are everything, everywhere, all at once. i hope the jury can make the right decision on this. i rest my case.

kenny: i think if my life started over everyday i would be doing fuck all as well.

butters: bikecurious 😊

[foxyoucutely]

inspired by cartman's journal in the fractured but whole game :P

[kennys-parka-jacket]

Kenny & Nichole friendship!

In Going Native Kenny writes very eloquently to his friends. There's also some episodes like Ass And Fire and The Scoots which open with him monologueling as if he's narrating to an audience. I have this headcanon that Kenny writes on the library computer in his spare time and has written 500k+ words of creative fiction and keeps a journal in whatever cheap notebooks he can get at the dollar store.

Nichole, as seen in Cartman Finds Love, keeps a diary complete with stickers and gelpen doodles on every page. I like to think she's a massive bookworm and makes a habit of buying novels from Half Price Books and leaving little notes and drawings in the margins of passages.

The two of them bond over their love of literature and physical copy books. They're in the same creative writing class and book club. During lunch break they exchange notes app poetry and fanfic recs.

They're just book bros

[urspopinionsareshit]

Random headcanons that I don't feel like writing long-winded explanations for

Stan collects football cards and Kyle collects basketball cards. Stan shoves his into a shoebox while Kyle has a binder with clear inserts.

Kyle tore his Kyrie Irving card up in a fit of rage

Despite being vocally sex positive as a teen, Wendy herself doesn't become sexually active until college

Kevin McCormick stayed at the Marsh house and had play dates with Shelly while Stuart and Carol attended their cult meetings

Stephen and Linda Stotch haven't had sex in eight years

Jimmy majors in broadcast journalism in college and is a reporter for a small town newscast before getting his big break in standup

Clyde's sister babysat for Shelly Marsh and Scott Tenorman when they were younger

Kyle hates Taylor Swift with a passion. He's gone on many a rant about her airing out her dirty laundry in her music and he ESPECIALLY hates "You Belong With Me".

Cartman, however, is a secret Swiftie.

Kyle loves the Beastie Boys

Jimmy gets elastics in every color of the rainbow whenever his braces get adjusted. He coordinates depending on the time of year (red and green around Christmas, red, white, and blue for patriotic holidays, rainbow in June, because "I'm an ally, f-fellas.")

On the other hand, the other three braces wearers opt for clear elastics. Kevin and Scott just don't care and Shelly thinks that colored elastics are futile since in her eyes, it won't help her appearance in any way.

Stan has Does the Dog Die? bookmarked. He's been spoiled many times, but he'd rather be spoiled than have a repeat of what his family and friends call "the Old Yeller incident".

Carol McCormick's family is from Arkansas

Post Covid/The Return of Covid Kenny is bald under his hat.

Butters and Kenny join the cheerleading squad in high school. Scott Malkinson is the mascot. Wendy quits cheerleading for good after the events of "The Hobbit" (and also because the squad never cheers for girls sports).

Both Randy and Sharon went through nasty awkward stages during early adolescence

[mewtwosart]

oh fffff you are the author of "watch me"!!! i knew you wrote "fake it til you make it" and the cartman journal, and i enjoyed them so much i decided to read other fics from the same author, but for some reason i never put 2 + 2 together, imma little sillie tehe

anyway that story awakened something in me, something that was about damn time it stepped out of bed. your words were like the smell of freshly made waffles and roasted cofffee, just the exact amount of everything necessary. thanks for setting my alarm clock!

ion know if you take suggestions, requests, however you want to name it, but if you ever feel like drawing Kenny and Stan from that universe, that'd be amazing to see <3 thx again xoxo

aaaah yup!! That's me!!!

I'm glad you liked my fics!! Especially "watch me!" That was fun to write. as for that universe, it's based off an rp server my friends and I are in. I will certainly draw them one day!! :)

[thebad---catholic]

hey! i hope this isn’t a product of my imagination or something but i think i recall seeing a recreation (?) of cartman’s diary from “cartman’s little red book” on twitter and i just wanted to ask if this does exist bc i’m so curious abt it

I think you’re referring to ao3mewtwos fic, which is meant to be Cartman’s journal but isn’t based on Clrb. It’s a unique work. Unfortunately i think Chrys is taking a break from social media and it isn’t uploaded up to his AO3 :(

[11x13kyle]

that one argument that nick and stav had on cum town as the boys

kyle: we're able to leave in peace. i go off to whatever i'm gonna do, cartman dies--

cartman: no???

kyle: kenny lives off his situationship's journalism money until she gets tired of that and that ends.

kenny (their guest that invited himself on this particular episode): oh i think she probably is already!

cartman: i'll live a long, fruitful life, raising children and grandchildren on a meadow with a farm, fresh berries--

kyle: it's so funny that you think that's how your life is gonna go.

cartman: it will, dude.

kyle: it's--you're NOT gonna get control of your weight, it's gonna end tragically.

cartman: you are SUCH a hater

kyle: i'm not a HATER, i care about you--

cartman: no, you don't, you just wanna--you say bad, mean things to people to make them feel bad!

kenny: it's not mean!

kyle: it's not MEAN dude.

kenny: it's maybe a little--

kyle: if i was sitting here--look, if i was sitting here smoking five and a half packs of cigarettes a day, my eyes are yellow, i'm having tumors removed from my mouth--

cartman: that was a random tumor that had nothing to do with my weight--

kyle: and--and i was like "i'll stop smoking when i'm 45!"

cartman: that's not even what i'm saying, man--

kyle: at WORST this has taken five years off my life, i'll live all the way to 65

cartman: whatever bro

kyle: i can just continue to smoke--

cartman: you're a hateful little bitch--

kyle: chainsmoke cigarettes--

cartman: it's gonna be--i am gonna be bouncing my fucking children on my knee, my grandchildren, on a meadow, feeding them fresh berries--

kyle: you'll be lucky if you still HAVE a fucking knee! by whenever the time you think this is gonna happen.

cartman: you REALLY think you're not a hater?

kyle: yeah, i dont--

cartman: you in your heart believe you're saying something true and good to your friend right now?

kyle: i think it's like--

kenny: yeah, i--

kyle: no, i mean, if you want--honestly? i do think like.....like, yes, it may be harsh, but i do think you need to have some kind of like fucking wake up call. like what changes have you made that are like permanent changes?

cartman: i'm not fucking--first of all, i'm not talking about this on the fucking podcast.

kyle: why not?

kenny: but you are--

cartman: huh?

kyle: why not?!

cartman: because it's not--i'm not trying to fucking talk about it on the podcast!

kyle: not talk about what, like a DIET or whatever? i mean...

cartman: yeah, that's--it isn't funny, and also it's like, you're not HELPFUL--

kyle: most of the PODCAST isn't funny!

kenny: yeah, you guys get a couple good things in there that--

cartman: whatever, we're done, the podcast is over at this point, i'm not trying to fucking have this--

kyle: THIS episode is...

cartman: yes, i'm fine with that too, i've had a fucking terrible 40 minutes--

kyle: i mean this--but like do you not like--in no way is it--

kenny : we don't HAVE to talk about--

kyle: SHUT UP. is--in NO way there's like--there's no way to express any kind of, like, concern?

cartman: saying i'm going to DIE is not the way you--you don't know how to talk to people, that is your CENTRAL problem--

kyle: no but i mean--NO, hold on--

cartman: and--and this is not the way to talk to someone--

kyle: hold on, i've known you for YEARS and like--this didn't start with like "ohhh, you're going to die!" like...i've like WATCHED you lose teeth, you know, be bedridden...

cartman: that has NOTHING TO DO with having a fucking--that has nothing to do with fucking being fat, dude, losing teeth, are you kidding me?! it's a completely different dental thing! you also literally don't know how to fucking talk to anybody, it is not helpful the way you speak to me in ANY--like, you're not...HELPFUL, you're not fucking supportive in any way--

kyle: well, what's helpful? what's this, what's this--

cartman: sometimes you're a mean piece of SHIT and telling me i'm gonna fucking die over and over again is exactly that!

kyle: then what's like--what IS supportive, then?

cartman: uh, just fucking--what we're doing now, having a schedule so i can fucking plan my life and go to the gym and fucking eat well, that's supportive! the podcast--

kyle: no but like what's--what is the correct way to like express concern? if it's a problem where it's like my TONE is wrong, i mean i, like, sure i can EASILY change that or address it.

cartman: yes, your tone is wrong ALL the TIME, that's your personality!

kenny: that's the thing, it's coming from a place of love, though, it's not like--

cartman: it doesn't MATTER if it's coming from a place of love--listen--

kenny: he's not trying to--

cartman: i don't want this on the podcast!

kenny: he's not trying to be a dick--

cartman: can we just stop fucking having this--

kyle: we can cut--we can cut this--

cartman: but it's like, it's not--

kenny: but i mean there's people that like also are like--that care about you that listen to the show, i don't know, it's like not--

cartman: the show will never help me lose weight! the show is a fucking JOB. the only thing the show will do is get people to mock my weight, it's not gonna be fucking helpful, it's FINE i don't give a fuck, but i AM fucking--i have made a concerted effort--the last year of my life i was getting my fucking shit together for real and then i hurt my fucking foot and the last year has been a fucking incredibly unstable year for me, i'm not even talking on the mic anymore but it's like--it's been a HORRIBLE fucking year i had a fucking--hurt my foot, i had a fucking fight with my mom, like all this shit has been HORRIBLE--

[kyuriman]

Cartman having a journal where he writes fanfics about his classmates is canon to me

[stardust-sunset]

tw: body dysmorphia & eating disorder mentions

I kinda wanted to be more specific on my Kyle having an ED post.

I think it would kinda be two stages, sort of. He was super thin and tall as a middle schooler. Like he was nearly 6’5’’ in freshman year. And all the calories he ate kinda just went straight to his height. So he ended up having really bad body dysmorphia because of it. Especially since it was one of the things Cartman would pick on him for. And while I don’t think Kyle is one to really be all ‘oh boohoo’ when he gets made fun of by Cartman but one can only take so much, if that makes sense. So I think he would kinda put two and two together and figure ‘well if eating a lot of food makes you heavier then I’ll just start binging’ and he does that. He ends up stuffing himself at nearly ever meal but then feels like absolute shit afterwards. It takes a while but he does get his weight up. All throughout this he’s working out a lot more as well. But it takes a while for him to actually see that he’s gaining muscle and isn’t getting fat. He’s a smart kid, he knows muscle is denser than fat, but having body dysmorphia for almost the entirety of his middle and high school years, it doesn’t really register in his mind. Sheila also kinda unknowingly pushed it. She would probably make comments like ‘oh, someone’s appetite spiked!’ or ‘oh, you finally have meat in your bones! and that doesn’t help. At all.

So there comes the second stage. After a while he kinda just starts withdrawing from food. Being diabetic and having to track his food also probably doesn’t help. I kinda headcanon he keeps a food journal to make sure his diabetes is kept in check, and he just kinda flips through it and sees the years of binging that he’s done and just snaps. He starts HEAVILY restricting. He tries going carb free and probably finds some unhealthy diet online. Being so heavy on social media probably doesn’t help. I can kinda relate to that one. So he starts working out more and restricting what he can and can’t eat. He keeps a journal hidden because he knows his mom would freak out if she found it and he doesn’t wanna worry him like that. This goes on for a really long time until his friends start noticing and bringing it up to him. He gets really angry at first but then he reflects on it and kinda just breaks down. Thats when he realizes he needs help.