#cause i eat up evil and toxic queers

[skinzchoerim]

someone should really examine the relationship between evil and homoeroticism in k-pop

[thrythlind]

A Disappointing Trip Down Memory Lane

So, Grimm is a TV show that quite enjoyed when it released but which I fell away from at the end of the 3rd Season. It released in 2011 and lasted 6 seasons.

So, some of the things I really liked about this show.

Most of the supernatural people were just people and they were as often the victims as they were the villains of an episode. People that know me will know that's a theme I really enjoy.

The characters were enjoyable.

The worldbuilding was pretty interesting and fun.

It deals a lot with escaping toxic traditions and making bridges between communities.

But I've looked back into it a bit recently and well... let's talk about what's disappointing.

There's a lot of personality traits tied into the different supernatural species. This isn't a deal breaker for me. The Sidhe in my setting have intrusive thoughts about deal making, for example. But this show crosses the line towards the inner nature of a species being monstrous and violent and something they have to work against. Basically it supports stereotyping.

It feels like one or more of the writers practically celebrated at the ability to do mixed-race and bigotry stories with almost entirely white actors. Because, you know, the majority of wesen and all Grimm are of European descent. There's a few POC characters, supernatural and otherwise, but they're very under-represented.

Corollary to the above, they keep talking about "Coming out" relating to wesen telling their non-wesen friends about the truth. So a bit of appropriating queer culture without any queer representation. So... yay.

ALL the traditions are toxic and often horrific and murderous. As much as I agree with turning against toxic traditions, the show really pushes the idea that all that past culture is terrible.

The one organization pushing for wesen to go public is also pushing for the return of all those horrific and murderous traditions. So, the story pushes for minorities to stay unseen and undercover. Yay.

The eventual romance between Nick and Adalinde (which I quit watching before it developed) isn't terrible in concept on it's own. In the manner of the witch marrying the monster-hunter... but they both did so many terrible things to each other through the first 3 seasons that it's extremely WTF. There's enemies to lovers and then there's whatever this is.

They made Adalinde and Nick work by causing Nick's first love interest Juliette, to go evil. The reason she went evil? Oh, she turned into a wesen... of the same kind as Adalinde... sometime around the same time they pointedly gave Adalinde the start of her heroic redemption arc. So... yeah, that's a clusterfuck of a writing decision.

At one point Adalinde suppresses her powers... which apparently causes her to gain empathy and better able to care about her friends and family. When her powers come back she has a literal panic attack about becoming a monster again... but of course she keeps her empathy afterwards.

Adalinde and Juliette aren't the only cases of wesen terrified of their own nature. There are wesen that have to eat people to survive.

There's a lot of demonization of sex. There is a spell to steal a Grimm's powers by impersonating a person they love and then having sex with them... see what I said about Adalinde and Nick doing terrible things to each other. There's a lot of toxic traditions involving mating. There's wesen whose mating practices end up killing their mate.

This is what I can think of right now.

It is just a mixed bag of lovely elements and neat characters tainted by those things I just listed. This could have been such a great story if it just had a little more planning and if something like a sensitivity consultant existed at the time.

[m143ui]

A MESSAGE TO THE PJO FANDOM

so hello friends on the other side

I understand some of the major concerns regarding characters like piper and the feather and hazels description but when you bring Leo and Reyna into the fucking conversation I have lost all respect.

ANYONE CAN BE ABUSED, ETHNICITY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT

LATINO CHARACTERS

Reyna is not a negative stereotype, she isn't defined by being latina and neither is Leo, he isn't a stereotype simply because he’s latino and was abused. also him being called an elf was because he was short, which had nothing to do with him being latino. also the mamacita comment like y'all hide under the label “progressive” but ignore that mamacita has been a thing in Latin American communities for a fucking while. its not an insult dammit. its something that happens in our communities!!! its like saying muchacho y'all don't see men bitching about that.

also shocker I read the mamacita comment and I can proudly say I didn't go

“RICK YOU RACIST BITCH”

things that actually happen in communities aren't racist

and before any of y'all come at me with the usual you’re white excuse, hello friends im Peruvian and Paraguayan.

I don't think he’s perfect but bitching about characters like Leo which gave many of my Latin American friends hope for similar characters destroys your “listening to minorities” argument

also the lol “hes Mexican taco bad” argument like I live in Mexico we eat tacos like every fucking day. its literally a fact. and Leo isn't just defined as taco man.

believe it or not us latinos respect rick because he gave us role models and characters like us. we don't define a character by one line and instantly call discrimination. like yes a asian character can be snobby it has nothing to do with ethnicity. y'all are making this about ethnicity. an asian character can be anything, just like a white character or a black character or a gay character. people are not simply defined by their labels like ya’ll think. y'all are just a bunch of easily triggered snowflakes that can't live with that. they can be influenced but in the end labels are labels we are all human and should be treated as such.

LGBT REPRESENTATION

another thing Reyna was never officially a lesbian that was YOUR interpretation not riordans. IF HE DIDNT STATE IT , SORRY HONEY IT ISN’T CANON! I don't care about how she was “lesbian coded” if he didn't state it it isn't canon. 

I am so sick, as a lesbian, to see people use ALL QUEER DEATHS as a bury your gay tropes, what happened to seeing us as humans? why can't we be treated like any other character? if we die we die, it isn't always “haha gay evil boom death”. sometimes fully fledged characters have to die friends.

Nico isn't a bad gay character, he’s just a normal character who happens to be gay and has suffered major trauma. HIS TRAUMA WAS CAUSED BY HIS UPBRINGING, Nico isn't a 2000′s character, he’s from the 30′s, so obviously he woudn’t be perfect with his sexuality for gods sake it was the 30′s. the exact same thing happens with hazel, she isn't a modern black woman, she's a 30′s black woman. Nico’s coming out isn't him as a 21st century teen its from the time when the GOVERNMENT KILLED YOU FOR BEING GAY

also saying there are no lesbian characters? like wow look emmie and jo don't exist. Lavinia doesn't exist. poison doesn't exist. thanks fam you really make yourselves look smart here. simply because rick never said the word gay doesn't mean the gay characters don't exist friends. they are just labeled as what gay characters should be labeled as.... human.

LESBOPHOBIA & RACISM

im not educated in muslim or black culture so I won't mention characters like sam and hazel and piper because I respect and I am highly critical of what rick put in his books to describe these specific minorities.

HOWEVER saying rick is a lesbophobe, a homophobe, a racist a sexist cis guy is like do y’all wanna be taken seriously? use arguments don't hide behind words.

rick isn't a perfect writer but y'all really don't know how to criticise, y'all just hide behind big boy words and back it up with no evidence, just opinions.

rick doesn’t have the best minority rep out there but he is damn well trying and I respect that unlike all you fucking idiots.

SHIPS

now onto ships.... yay

frazel: im not gonna censor it like you pussies, believe it or not 13&16 year old relationships exist. they might not always be healthy but they exist. to deny this is to be stupid

solangelo:  another ship that is censored..the main argument I've seen is that it isn't developed and will isn't even a character... he was in last olympian and lost hero not my fault y'all have fish brains. I don't care if you dislike it but don't be like “ANYONE WHO SHIPS THIS IS AN ABUSIVE WHORE” like wow you always preach about accepting all ships and then throw this? also if you hate solangelo because of the “abuse” but ship percico like hi friends Nico is 4 years younger than Percy.. if y'all hate frazel because of the 3 year age difference y'all should hate this too.

CONCLUSIONS AND SHIT

not every character minority or otherwise is gonna be the way you want them to be, believe it or not any character can be anything, black characters can be loud, white characters can be loud. if they're only loud because “haha black” then THATS an issue not the simple existence of a loud black woman who has a loud personality.

y'all be here bitching about drew and I've never heard the asian perspective of this? just a bunch of black and white people telling asians they should be offended. was that just an uno reverse?

also last point stereotypes aren't always a negative thing and y'all need to get that in your heads.

anyway stay mad hoes <3

from a sane Peruvian <3

EDIT

I saw this beauty and had to comment on it

“having LGBT characters experience abuse and violence. nicos forceful outing rubs me the wrong way, especially because hes called a coward for being in the closet. its violent and kind of disturbing to make your gay character come out of the closet by force. maybe write better. additionally, alex's abusive father and subsequent homelessness because of her being trans is badly written.”

oh noooo gay characters can't deal with homophobia anymore ! like I can tell you have never been punched for being gay. is it bad to showcase how trans and gay ppl are 40% of homeless youth? or is even mentioning that discrimination? believe it or not some of us live in countries where people try to kill us. you have an advantage and it shows. about the coward thing... 

was FUCKING CUPID A GOOD CHARACTER? NO? I REST MY CASE. CUPID IS NOT SEEN AS A GOOD PERSON THEREFORE HE IS NOT A GOOD PERSON GET THAT IN YOUR THICK SKULLS.

 YOU HEARD IT HERE FOLKS LGBT FOLKS DONT GET FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET 

#NEVER HAPPENS IN REALITY. 

JUST BECAUSE YOU WERENT FORCED OUT OF THE CLOSET DOESNT MEAN OTHER PEOPLE HAVE THAT SAME LUXURY. 

maybe stop spewing bullshit <3

(so I get that this scene can remind people of being outed and it can hurt them however this scene was never intended to be a good thing it literally says Nico is scared of facing his emotions)

EDIT NUMBER 2

oh boy rick really pissed off the snowflakes that I share a fandom with

“give Nico to the gays” no? he would be a femboy and they would yeet his trauma like ssrsly?

also hate rick? bitch no one is forcing you to read his tweets.

death of the author is such a toxic thing like the mans is alive boo he aint going nowhere..like What the fuck 

EDIT NUMBER 3

anyway final thoughts on this :

nico insn’t Uwu gay and its an insult to his character

Reyna is not a lesbian canonically (neither is Thalia)

Leo and Reyna are not racist

none of ricks characters are  written as insults to their communities

and if I see one more “but ....phobia/ ...ism I will do very illegal things

peace lol

RICK RIORDAN UPDATE:

congratulations rick antis! you have successfully harassed a  56 year old man into leaving social media! wow so progressive!!!! this totally won't backfire or anything!!!

all jokes aside all of you who harassed rick to the point of someone else taking over his social media should feel ashamed

[animentality]

I don't get why tumblr thinks that shipping anything even vaguely problematic is indicative that irl you're an abusive asshole pedophile rapist, but playing violent video games doesn't make you a murderer as well.

What's the difference, do tell me?

Is it because women are weaker minded than men, and thus women who ship an 18 year old with a 17 year old are clearly going to victimize 8 year olds, or is it because your puritannical beliefs about sex is seeping into female and queer dominated spaces and dissuading them from exploring any unconventional sexual interests in the name of protecting the children?

Because you do know that the people you're attacking in this particular space are typically female, queer, etc, or at least friendly to minorities just given the atmosphere of this site.

Oh but Kira, you think, it's not because of misogyny or homophobia, violence is different than sex-

But why though, why is it?

Why is shooting someone point blank in the face, hearing them scream, and watching them die somehow less impactful on a human psyche than watching/reading two people fuck?

You can't argue that fictional shipping is somehow impactful and harmful and then mock legislators that want to ban video games cuz they cause violence, when the two ideas, that people cannot tell the difference between fiction and reality, are literally the same.

I don't understand it.

I grew up catholic and all I can tell you is this.

If you genuinely believe violence is better than sex, and violence doesn't offend you more than seeing a boob, then you have been raised in the american way, seeing gun violence as a part of every day life, but sex is evil and disgusting and a sign of weak morals.

And that's a pity, because your mind will be fettered by shame over something as unalterable as biology for the rest of your life. And I wish you luck.

Tumblr dot com has been so radicalized by the idea that you must eat, sleep, and breathe activism at all times or else you are the sole reason the world is broken, and thus your shipping and fictional tastes become evidence to be used against you in the kangaroo court that is tumblr's justice system.

It's utterly laughable, and not in the Tumblr way where it's mostly just amusingly ridiculous, but in the toxic social media way, where you really are out there accusing artists drawing anime characters with big tits and big dicks of being criminals in real life.

The idea that artists and writers and content creators are deviant heathens who owe something to you, who are beholden to your tastes, and rest assured it is indeed your tastes you're forcing upon others with no connection to morality whatsoever, is simply put, stupid.

[panicatthecatcafe]

Pride Month Reflections in 2021

I used to tell myself I would come out to my extended family and friends when it became relevant. When there was something to tell. A person I was seeing that I would need to explain to the family. In my family, you’re never just telling one person. It’s a network of gossip-one I’ve gleefully taken part in when, for instance, my cousin got his first girlfriend, and my grandma and I gossiped for a half hour about everything we knew. 

It also just seemed unnecessary to go through the effort of making a “coming out” post on facebook or instagram. I knew some family members would be offended, not by my sexuality, but by the fact that they were not told personally. My decision to go to grad school, for instance, when announced on facebook, was met with congratulatory, but underhanded remarks about “how am I just hearing about this.”

I came out to my sisters and mother freshman year of college. I had fallen hard for a friend, to the point of no longer being able to deny that my attraction to women was not simply an aesthetic one. I’d come out to my roommate (actually at the same time she came out to me) and my high school best friend several weeks earlier. While those experiences were nerve wracking to some degree, mostly because I was afraid, luckily completely unfounded, that my attraction to women would make my roommate uncomfortable sharing a room with me, it was nothing compared to the heart-pounding, sweating, all encompassing shaking when I came out to my mom. I’ve still never talked about it with my dad. When I asked my mom once if he knew, she said “I must’ve told him at some point? Yeah, I’m sure I must’ve.” While this was not a completely confident response, my dad can hardly be confused at this point, none the least because he kindly told me I had been tagged in a “Queers on Stage” post just in case there was anyone I wasn’t ready to know I was, indeed, part of the queer of Queers on Stage. 

In college, I was delighted that 90% of my friends also experienced queer attraction and romance, and truly every single one of my high school close friends has since come out, at least to our friend group. I’ve kissed two of my best friends onstage in multiple shows, sent hundreds of gay memes in group chats, and generally found myself in such queer friendly spaces that I was able to forget that non-queer spaces exist, particularly because I graduated during the early days of the pandemic and ended up only seeing my 4 vegetarian, radical leftist, majority queer housemates for 12 months. 

So I found myself unexpectedly shaken when I received a text from my grandmother out of the blue. The only part of which I could preview said “Hello my Gay Catholic [my name]. Yes, it was brought to my attention.” +1 for her subtle dig at the impersonal method of discovery about my own affairs. I knew what this must have been in response to. My sister had posted a message for pride month affirming the place of the queer community in religious spaces, and her own personal commitment to allyship. An absolute asshole commented something stating that accepting queer people as they are was leading them away from the church and was harming their ability to get into heaven. After vocalizing several cuss filled responses, which included a wrathful yell that catholics like him are the reason that queer people don’t and never have felt welcome in catholic spaces, I replied with “Please delete your comment-sincerely, a queer catholic” and reported him. I’m not sure if my report deleted his comment or my sister did (I highly doubt he deleted his own comment and for that he can f*ck off!), but it must have been up long enough for my grandma to see it. 

I have a lot of complex feelings for my grandma. Some of my favorite memories from childhood involved making crafts with her, decorating cookies, unwrapping ornate Christmas presents at her house, and eating her incredible cooking. On the other hand, in recent years she’s gotten swept up in far right ideologies, to the point of publicly announcing that Biden stole the election through voter fraud, among other ridiculous conspiracy theories. But, she also pulled me aside during my sister’s wedding to genuinely ask how she should address one of my sister’s friends who was trans and using new pronouns. I have trouble reconciling the grandma who makes far right posts on facebook with the one who I wrote an essay about in 2nd grade for the prompt “who is your hero”, talking about her beating cancer and her upbeat look on life. 

Looking at the preview of the text on my phone, I found it hard to imagine she’d sent a condemnation, but I couldn’t help but worry. When I’m nervous or feel like I’m about to get bad news, I feel as if ice has travelled through my entire body, my hands start shaking, and I lose all strength in my limbs. I have a theory that the overwhelming majority of queer people will still experience anxiety coming out to someone, even when they know that the response will be a positive one. Even when things go well, they don’t go like you planned. When I came out to my mom, my sister and I were sitting in the backseat of the car, driving back from a rehearsal together. I couldn’t pay attention to any part of the conversation because I just kept telling myself “I’ll say it to her at 9:45pm. 9:45. 10 more minutes. 5. 1. 0. Mom I’m bi” The statement was entirely at odds with whatever they had been talking about before, coming out of nowhere, which may have explained how slow my mom was on the uptake. She said ok and something else affirmative, but didn’t mention anything about how she loved me to my recollection. Or if she did it felt somewhat rote. I remember feeling disappointment. We stopped by the store, however, and she picked up a “bai” drink and said “look it’s you!” and I knew things would be ok. Later, my sister would tell me that mom was just sad I hadn’t told her earlier. 

I don’t think straight people understand that it is harder to come out to someone you’ve known for a long time (or indeed forever) than to someone you’ve known for a few months, such as my roommate. Coming out to someone who has known you for years feels like you’re telling them “I’ve been lying to you all this time” particularly when thinking about statements you may have made to assert your straightness to yourself and others. I remember being relieved when I found a photo of Draco Malfoy attractive in middle school because I thought it meant I had to be straight. The time in 9th grade that a girl flipped her hair and I was captivated? I was just envious because she was prettier than me. My disappointment in my mom’s response was furthered when I took her and the family to see Love, Simon, in the hopes that the movie could explain what I couldn’t about how hard it is to come out to the people you love and who love you. After the movie, I was crushed when she said “I don’t know why he was so nervous to come out to them.”

All this to say, it took me an hour to gear myself up to open the text. Inside was this message: 

“Hello my Gay Catholic [my name]. Yes, it was brought to my attention. I love you for who you are not what you choose (unless it’s evil destructive murderous) . And you are from that. You are the most  vivacious, loving, happy, energetic, intelligent, sassy with heart 💜 ❤️💜 kinda person who sparkles in everything you do. 

Remember,  you cannot force people to change their minds.  Reciprocate & allow them to be them, allow the space, and time. And if they don’t, don’t take it personally. It doesn’t mean they dislike you. Love unconditionally and tell them you still love/like them. 

 I L🌺VE YOU”

The first time I read it I focused on the positive. She loved me (even if she made assumptions about my queer identity with the label she chose when I don’t even fully know how to label myself other than queer). Reading it the second and third time, I got frustrated. I was frustrated because I hate the idea that we have to come out at all. I didn’t mean my comment to be taken as a “hello world please accept me!” It was awkward and I shouldn’t have to ask for people’s acceptance, especially from my loved ones. Then I got mad, because the second paragraph told me I had to accept others when they wouldn’t accept me. This is probably where I experience the most cognitive dissonance with my catholic faith. I’m supposed to turn the other cheek, but at the same time, when other people are hurting me for something I cannot change and does no harm to others, how can I not respond to that in a negative way or take it personally? Maybe that’s why I don’t feel like coming out, because it gives people the chance, however unlikely, that they can reject me. However, if I live my life, post as I like, share content, and hopefully someday share moments with a person I love, I am simply living an unremarkable life in the truest sense of the word. I don’t accept unconditional love when that love is toxic or harmful. I’ll say it again, if someone tells me I’m going to hell for being queer, they are choosing to target a part of me I cannot change and that doesn’t actively cause harm to others. They are causing harm to me in targeting my identity. And I count myself lucky because I am a white woman of unremarkable face and body that doesn’t give off strong queer vibes. Others in the community face far worse physical and mental violence because of people who refuse to “change their minds”. 

I started this essay intending to write about the fact that I am turning 23 and have only ever kissed someone as part of a character I played onstage. I’ve been on a few first dates, but have never been in a relationship or even felt close to one. I experience true attraction so rarely that I can count it on one hand. I don’t know who I am and I often feel like there must be something wrong with me because I’ve never found myself romantically involved. I expected this essay to be an in-depth analysis of my feelings of inferiority and imposter syndrome in the queer community, but unexpectedly this feels like something else. You don’t need to be sexually or romantically active to be a part of the queer community. This community is about acceptance. It’s about love. It’s about calling out harm and rooting out exclusivity. At least, that’s the kind of community it should be. I’m not gonna lie, we have a long way to go, but at the root of what makes us different is our ability to be expansively, intentionally, and incandescently ourselves. Whether or not I end up with a romantic partner anytime soon (and yes I am taking offers), I know myself better than anyone and I know I belong. And, as I once wrote defiantly on my arm during a tough day for middle school me, I know I should “do no harm and take no shit”.