#cause like. to me i think ashley would be the type to bottle something up and never bring it up

[harvestmoth]

oh also this real quick

[darling-i-read-it]

Party Outfit

Homelander x supe!fem!reader

Word Count: 2.7k

Warnings: the reader basically dies, grief, maybe some ooc homelander, canon type violence (death/gore is descriptive), I think that’s it but please let me know if there are more! 

Author’s Note: I gotta admit, I struggled with this one a bit! I wasn’t sure how to start and it isn’t my best work so I may come back to it again later but I didn’t want to make you wait! I hope you enjoy it regardless love! Homelander is such a tricky dude. Love him though. He’s so crazy. I love that in a man. 

Requested by anon: May I request a slow burn homelander x superhero! Reader, who has basically super healing powers like wolverine, so she’s probably the third strongest compared to homelander and Maeve. Homelander and reader are friends, because reader is one of the few people who took the time to care about him enough to look past the mask, and isn’t afraid of him. Something happens in a fight with a new supervillain, who’s power weakens everyone else’s around them. Reader saves homelander from a kill shot, but is killed themselves, and homelander just shatters and breaks down sobbing and clutching their body, after killing the villain. The Seven don’t know what to do to make him let go of the reader’s body, when she suddenly coughs and gasps back to life, shocking everyone and especially herself. It seems reader’s healing ability is stronger than anyone ever thought.                                                        I feel like homelander would be the clingiest person after all of that, lol.

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director/creator

(not my gif)

“Are you ready?” 

Your voice sounded suddenly very close. Homelander turned around and jumped a bit at the sight of you. You were standing just beside him in your ‘party’ outfit. Vought thought it was better if you had two costumes, one of ads and one for actual fighting. It allowed them to continue the belief that they were all in on feminism while also marketing off your more ‘easy on the eyes’ outfits. Homelander only had one. Sometimes he wanted to have two, just to get some sort of diversity. Plus, you looked oh so nice in your party outfit. 

“Yup!” he exclaimed. You smiled briefly, taking a deep breath. After he and Maeve had broken up in the public, everyone had been hoping the two of you would finally call it and start dating. It would be perfect. The two most powerful supes in The Seven, a sublime situation for marriage and kids. The perfect American dream with the perfect American boy. 

You knew Homelander though. You knew that wasn’t exactly who he was. 

You also knew that he was your friend. 

“Is the President gonna be there?” you questioned, adjusting your corset. You looked at yourself in the mirror of Homelander’s apartment. His practical penthouse had become like a second home to you. You even helped him decorate it with some things he liked. You had to veto the baby bottles on the fire mantle and he agreed, it was in poor taste. 

“Likely,” he admitted. 

“Well then I’ll hide behind you. That okay?” 

“Always.” 

“Did they tell you about that new guy causing a fuss? The guy they sent The Deep after?” He rolled his eyes. 

“I’m sure a lot of killing happened then and no octopuses were assaulted.” You scoffed. “No. What guy?” Usually he tried to stay in the loop but there was a lot going on. A lot being, so many superheroes and not nearly enough Homelander in his opinion. 

“Apparently he can weaken everyone else's power around him,” you observed. You stayed beside him, adjusting his cape. He looked down at it, observing you. 

“Well he hasn’t met me yet.” You hummed, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. You put your hand on his arm. 

“The car will be here soon. Ashley still thinks I’m in my room and if she sees me in here then our engagement is gonna be all over the papers,” you joked. He nodded, taking your hand off his arm and squeezing it. 

“Prepare for the President to ask to see your power.” 

“He can catch it on the news,” you grumbled. “See you downstairs.” He nodded once and let you go. He watched himself in the mirror, allowing himself to think about you a bit longer than your presence required. You knew him more than anyone else in the world. He wondered if it would be so bad to spend the rest of his life with you. He could’ve done it with Maeve, he could have made it look good. But with you, he might be able to be happy. Be himself, whatever that was. 

He turned, adjusting the cape as he walked out the door. He had a banquet to attend. 

-

“It’s better if just you two go. I’d send Maeve but I know you’ll just end up fighting and it’ll be on the news and we can’t handle another goddamn media break!” Ashley was standing in front of you in her office. You had never actually seen her sit down at the desk, she was always so stressed. Homelander stood beside you.

“That was one spat,” you argued. “We’re over it now. I like Maeve.”

“I don’t wanna risk anything,” Ashley said. “After the…incident with The Deep, I expect full obliteration of this guy.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Homelander stepped in. “We’ve got him.” 

You both knew that the best chance of a win was the two of you. You were the strongest of The Seven. Homelander could pack the punch and you could be the shield. You worked together well. 

“Any advice on how to dim his light a little?” you questioned. She shook her head. 

“Didn’t exactly get the best information from the guy who fought him before,” she grumbled. “But it was near water and we all know who lost the fight. Be careful. If either of you die…I mean it would make for a great swing of the media’s likeness of us but I would rather not have to deal with the funeral proceedings.” You rolled your eyes. 

“Thanks Ashley.”

“I’m also sending Noir and Starlight 30 minutes after you land. Just in case.” 

“That’s insulting,” Homelander said. He had his hands folded behind his back, ever the good soldier. “We don’t need them.”

“Then they’ll just be your extraction. Now go.” Neither of you moved. She made a waving gesture with her hands. “Go. Go!” 

-

“I can’t stand the show outfit,” you muttered. You adjusted your neck in your soldier outfit, which wasn’t exactly comfortable either. It was too tight in the wrong places but at least it provided you more protection from oncomers. Homelander was walking in front of you, scanning the area with disinterested eyes. Another job. At least he was with you. 

“It’s easy on the eyes.”

“And this one isn’t?” He shrugged. “I like your outfit. It’s bold. It’s iconic.” He smiled a bit, awkwardly, at the compliment. “I need a cape.”

“It’s a nuisance.” You narrowed your eyes at him. 

“You love that cape.” The cape was his thing though and you knew he didn’t want you to stumble onto his territory. “But I digress. Do you want to get dinner after this?” 

He always had food by himself, on the road, going from one meeting or killing to another. Dinners with you were sacred and special to him. You always asked and you watched a silly movie he pretended to hate and he could tell you about his day and you listened. He couldn’t remember any other person who listened like you. 

“As long as there are no noodles.” He always got them stuck in his throat. It was embarrassing. 

“No noodles. Duly noted. We could always-” Your sentence was cut short by you keeling over. You clutched your stomach. It felt like you were being drained, like all of the sudden you were far more tired than you had been in years. It reminded you of being run ragged, like you had run a marathon you weren’t prepared for. 

“What? What is it?” Homelander grabbed your elbow, holding you up. It was like you hadn’t even seen him, let alone felt him touch you. You stood up straight, giving him a pained look. 

“He’s here.” 

Homelander turned around, searching the warehouse the two of you had entered. It was abandoned by city records and vast. Not many hiding places. Homelander’s eyes turned red with anger and concentration. 

“Come out, come out wherever you are!” He called. He let you go, not being able to focus on your pain. You stood up straight, trying to allow your body to adjust. You tried to keep up with him but he was walking with purpose. You looked around, a blur of pain around your eyes. You had never felt so weak. 

“John,” you murmured. He didn’t turn around. 

“What? Scared?” 

There was a crack behind you. You turned on your heels, watching, waiting. The pain was getting bearable as your body started to adjust to it. Perks of fast feeling. High pain tolerance. 

Homelander shot his lasers at an abandoned car. It exploded into fire. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. 

“I don’t see anything!” he exclaimed. He turned to you. Just as he turned around, you saw someone come from behind the car, a gun in hand. Your eyes went wide. “You see-” 

You shoved him aside, taking the bullet intended for his head. 

It hit yours. 

It was like slow motion. He was stumbling and then you were down, a bullet between your eyes. The blood started to trickle down your forehead as you fell over onto the ground. He watched you fall backwards, eyes open in surprise. There was nothing going on behind them. 

He rushed forward to grab you before you hit the ground. 

On the bottom level of the warehouse, Starlight and Noir walked in. Ashley had sent them in only 10 minutes after the two of you. She was nervous, understandably so. Didn’t want to lose all four of you if you were separated and she knew that sending them afterwards was better for Homelander’s ego. 

“Do you hear that?” Starlight asked. She slowed to a stop as she listened closely. Some kind of whimpering. “It’s above us.” 

Noir looked up. Starlight started forward quickly, being followed by her Noir. 

When they reached the top floor they found a decapitated body at the feet of the stairs. A man with a gun was dead, two red dots between his chest burned through the skin. He still had his spinal cord dangling from his neck, clearly removed with force. 

In the middle of the room Starlight could see Homelander’s cape, sprawled on the ground. She could see your limp legs from behind him. He was shaking.

Annie had never seen him cry before. 

Noir approached before she even thought to. She wanted to call Maeve and ask her to come down in case Homelander decided to lash out but realized there was no time. If he hadn’t taken you somewhere…there was no pulse. 

She shared a glance with Noir. This was unsafe. 

“What happened?” Starlight asked quietly. There were tears streaming down his red cheeks. She wasn’t going to get a coherent answer. “We need to get help,” she said, even though she didn’t mean it. She just needed to say something. 

She had never seen The Homelander so broken. She thought about all the times before she saw him on the TV screen when she was growing up. Even now that she knew what he was, she held onto that shred of hope that he was like he had been on TV. She had never seen that in person, genuinely, until that very moment. When his shoulders shook and he was holding his only friend in his arms, wondering if she was really gone, if she was going to leave him alone. 

Annie never felt for Homelander until then. 

She shared a glance with Noir. He gave her nothing, he never did. 

“It should’ve been me,” he whispered. As Annie slowly approached she saw the bullet between your eyes. Your expressionless face was haunting. Annie saw dead people but she never saw those she cared about. She was reminded of Hughie. Homelander was holding his Hughie. “It was meant to be me.” 

Annie could give him no solace. She worried he would level the city for you. Maeve would try to remove him completely but she wasn’t strong enough for that. She would just have to let him stand there until your body got cold or he came to his senses that you weren’t going to wake up. 

Then you woke up. 

It was subtle, a slight breath. He hardly noticed it over his own drama but Starlight saw it. Her eyes went wide. Then you coughed, the bullet falling onto the other side of your head. Your head had healed itself, just like that. You squinted up at Homelander, unable to remember what had happened and why he was holding you. 

Your movement startled him. He tried to find a clear vision in his eyeline, something to blur away the tears. You brought your hand up and wiped them away. 

“I’m okay,” you said, voice dry. “I’m alright.” 

“But-but you-” he stumbled. 

“I’m okay.” It hurt, sure. You could feel the remnant of pain in your head, like your nerves hadn’t quite got the memo you were alive. You sat up and he threw his arms around you. The superstrength almost suffocated you but you were content with putting your arms around him too. 

You saw the big bad dead on the  other side of the room, between Annie and Noir. You shared a look with them. Annie was wiping tears from her eyes. You must have been dead for longer than you thought. 

“I’m okay,” you said again, this time for the two of them. Annie nodded. Homelander needed a moment. She gestured for Noir to follow her out. They collected the remaining body parts of the villain and left. 

Homelander let you go just enough to see your face. 

“I thought you were dead.” 

He cleared his throat, attempting to regain his composure. 

“Can’t get rid of me that easily big guy,” you whispered. He wanted to cry some more, now that the floodgates were open. But he took a deep breath, allowing himself to even. You were still in his arms and that’s where you wanted to remain for the moment. It was safe here. “Are you okay?” 

“Fine,” he promised. He stood up, much to your dismay. He helped you stand, which took some wobbling. It was like you had just been born again. 

“Can you fly us out of here? I don’t know if I can walk,” you admitted. He nodded, quickly. 

“Of course. Hop on.” You made a sly smile and he rolled his eyes. You let him pick you up and carry you away, through the sunlit sky. 

-

Vought confirmed that you were okay. They triple checked your vitals but nothing seemed out of the ordinary. You had sacrificed yourself for Homelander and you had lived. It was a curious thought, one not many people understood. They wanted to test your limits further but you vetoed it for the moment. You would rather not die over and over for the sake of science. 

Homelander decided he wanted to be on every mission you were on here on out. He would make up for that mistake time and time again. 

Sitting in his apartment, a place you were used to and practically lived in, was homey. Your ‘recovery’ was spent here. He had brought you some blankets from your room. The kindness from him was uncharacteristic but welcomed. 

He vowed if he couldn’t protect himself from Vought he would protect you. 

He would protect you and your silly movie nights and matching banquet outfits. 

He would have his life with you, Vought or not.

[searchingwardrobes]

Not the Type: 1/7

Here it is, my contribution to the @captainswanmoviemarathon​ ! Aka, the Bring it On AU no one asked for. I have a love/hate relationship with this movie. On the one hand, I love it as a rom com. On the other hand, as a sports movie, it’s awful. I was a cheerleader myself, and did a brief stint coaching, so I have some issues with this movie. First of all, where is the coach?!? Can you imagine a male driven sports movie without a coach? Remember the Titans with no coach? Glory Road with no coach? Miracle with no coach? I mean, come on! And do you really think a high school is gonna let their students do stunts that can potentially cause paralysis or death without adult supervision? And while they do portray the cheerleaders as athletes, in my opinion, they still hyper-sexualize them. The girls are also way too catty with each other. I can tell you from personal experience, that you need massive trust to do those stunts. Just sayin. Anyway, this whole soap box is to say that this is a LOOSE adaptation of Bring it On written by someone who loves the sport it portrays. But don’t worry, this modern day Lieutenant Duckling AU will have plenty of fluff, feels, flirty banter, and epic kisses. I would like to say this is the cheerleading version of @welllpthisishappening​ ‘s Blue Line universe, but I don’t pretend to be that brilliant. Laura’s writing did inspire me as I wrote this “sports fic,” however, so massive props to her: the queen of sports writing!

Massive thanks to the mods of the Captain Swan Movie Marathon event as well as all of the other writers. The discord chats have been a blast - especially when you all helped me brainstorm a title for this. Thanks to @hookedonapirate​ for being an awesome beta and to @rumdrum91​ for giving the first chapter a quick once over even while you are insanely busy.

This fic is about . . . 85% complete? It will be updated every Saturday. I’ll shut up now and get to the point . . .

Summary: Emma Swan first notices him in the stands at the Friday night football game. She can tell right away Killian Jones is not the football type. Then again, she's not the cheerleader type either, but here she is with pom poms. Life hasn't ever gone the way Emma planned. Lately, that's actually been a good thing. Maybe Killian Jones is a good thing, too.

Rated: T

Also on Ao3

Tagging: @snowbellewells​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​​ @kmomof4​​​​ @let-it-raines​​​ @teamhook​​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​ @shireness-says​​​​ @stahlop​​​​ @scientificapricot​​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​​ @thislassishooked​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​ @kday426​​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​ @nikkiemms​​​ @optomisticgirl​​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​​ @carpedzem​​​ @ohmakemeahercules​​​​ @branlovestowrite​​​ @superchocovian​​​ @sherlockianwhovian​​​​ @vvbooklady1256​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​​​ @jennjenn615​​​ @snidgetsafan​ @spartanguard​ @itsfabianadocarmo​

Bounce left, bounce right. Two hip shakes. Roger rabbit, Roger Rabbit. Bobby Brown, Bobby Brown. Cabbage patch. Electric slide. Repeat.

Emma repeated the steps to the dance like a mantra in her head. A cheerleader was supposed to smile all the time, but she couldn’t conjure one up as she bounced through the choreography that dated back to 1989. Okay, maybe they threw in the cabbage patch in 1994, but still. This shit was old.

The band sped up as they played through another round of “Louie, Louie,” and the cheerleading squad was racing through the dance like a tape on fast forward. The band thought it was hilarious and never ceased to tire of the schtick.

Emma was doing what felt like her hundredth Roger Rabbit when she caught sight of him. A large book half covered his face, so she could still see his arched brow and smirk. She held his gaze as she went into her Bobby Browns, and he lowered his book, still staring openly, a crooked grin filling his face. Was he mocking her? She stared him down as she did the cabbage patch, and his eyes widened. She tilted her chin as she went into the electric slide, and his tongue swiped his lips.

“Louie, Louie” finally, mercifully, ended. Emma whipped her ponytail as she broke the guy’s stare. She bounced up and down, waving her pom poms and shouting “Go Knights!” Mary Margaret had finally gotten her to stop rolling her eyes.

“Well look at you, Emma Swan,” Ruby said as they all turned to watch the game and cheer the offense.

“What?” Emma stood at attention, just like all the other girls, her poms on her hips.

“Don’t play dumb, Emma,” Ashley quipped on her other side. “We’re better at it than you.”

“That guy,” Ruby explained. “You were having cheer sex with him.”

“Cheer sex? Seriously?”

Emma tossed her poms down to the ground and tightened her ponytail angrily. She hated football season.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

“Fancy meeting you here.”

Emma whirled around to find herself face to face with the guy she was definitely not having cheer sex with. Whatever the hell that was. She rolled her eyes. Mary Margaret couldn’t do anything about it during half time.

“Just because I’m baring my midriff and my skirt barely covers my hips doesn’t give you permission to ogle me.”

His blue eyes widened. Very blue, actually. No! It didn’t matter if his eyes were pretty; he was a creep.

“You misunderstand me, love.”

“Not your love.” Though he did have a hot accent. What? No! Nothing about him was hot.

He sighed. “Look, I couldn’t help watching you. All the other girls had fake smiles, but you . . . “ he shrugged. “You looked like you hated being here as much as I do.”

Emma blinked in surprise, and her gaze darted to the hardback copy of The Two Towers clutched in his hand. She also took in his slightly disheveled hair, slender build, and Pink Floyd t-shirt. Clearly not the football type.

The students in line behind them for the concession stand grumbled for them to move, so they both shuffled forward.

Emma smiled apologetically and extended her hand. “Emma Swan.”

“Killian Jones.”

“So, what are doing here, hipster?”

He chuckled and ducked his head. He looked a lot more bashful than he had in the stands.

“Granny insisted I put down my guitar, stop singing depressing songs, and get my ass here to support my foster siblings. Her words exactly.”

Emma’s eyes widened. “You’re Ruby’s new foster brother!”

He leaned closer and winked. “Guilty as charged.”

******************************************************

“Cheer sex, Ruby!” Emma snapped as she returned from the concession stand with her bottle of water and bag of pretzels. She lifted the items up on auto-pilot for Coach Ava’s approval, which she received. The Coach insisted on healthy snacks during games and practice. Some of the girls chafed at the rule, but Emma had no problem with it. The last thing she wanted was someone hurling from the top of a pyramid because they had just wolfed down chili cheese fries or something.

“What?” Ruby asked before taking a bite of the apple in her hand.

“Cheer sex,” Emma repeated, “with your foster brother? Ew!”

Ruby rolled her eyes as she chewed and swallowed. “Let me emphasize the foster part. If you wanna bang Killian, I won’t stop you.”

Emma let out a groan of frustration as several of the other girls giggled. “I’m not banging anyone.”

“Exactly! And why is that, Emma?”

“Leave her alone,” Mary Margaret admonished. “Just banging someone isn’t what she needs.”

Emma appreciated Mary Margaret’s positivity - usually - but she wasn’t in the mood for another speech on true love. “I’d actually prefer a complete change of topic.”

“Good,” the girls jumped at the sound of Coach Ava’s voice behind them, “because you only have five minutes left of half time to finish those snacks. Which is kind of hard to do when you’re yapping.”

“Okay, coach,” the girls grumbled good-naturedly. They all loved Ava, and not just because she was Mary Margaret’s mom. She really cared about all of them and was both tough and fair as a coach. Better even than some of the gymnastics coaches Emma had had. Emma had never planned on being a cheerleader, but Emma was used to things in her life not going according to plan. That was usually for the worst, but lately she had to admit it had been for the better. She hadn’t planned on being adopted by the Nolans, either, and that had been the best thing to ever happen to her. When the social worker brought her to her new foster mother, Ruth, and foster brother, David, she had fully expected it to be nothing more than yet another brief stay. She hadn’t expected to be loved.

She hadn’t expected to love in return.

Emma tossed her empty pretzel bag into the trash can near the stadium stairs. She took another swig of her water, then tossed the bottle into her cheer bag that was monogrammed with her name and a megaphone. It was cheesy and matched the bags of all the other girls.

She hadn’t expected to like this group of girls, either. Hadn’t expected to find a group of athletes, but she did. Yes, since age thirteen, life had been surprising her rather than throwing her curveballs. Maybe thirteen was actually her lucky number. Now she was seventeen and had an actual family in addition to fifteen sisters.

With pom poms.

🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈 🏈

Emma crammed her first and second period books into her locker, grabbed the stuff she needed for third, then slammed the door shut. She took off down the hall at almost a sprint. TV and movies were shit in portraying high school. Kids hanging out by their lockers chatting at any and all times of the day. Complete and utter lies. Storybrooke High gave kids five minutes - five minutes! - to get to each class. There were some breaks where she didn’t have time to stop at her locker, but her American History book weighed about three tons and she refused to lug it around all day. She didn’t care if it was completely out of her way. She was chucking that book, damn it, before she threw her back out. Three weeks into the year, and she had it timed down to the second.

She did not have time to be slammed into and knocked to her rear end. “Hey!” she shouted at the jerk who’d plowed into her.

A hand reached down and hauled her to her feet. “Apologies lass.”

She knew that accent before she looked into those blue eyes. She suddenly realized she was still clutching Killian’s hand in hers. She yanked her hand away.

“Yeah, well watch where you’re going next time.”

He grinned in a way that was three-fourths charming and one-fourth roguish. “A pleasure as always, Swan.”

Then the ridiculous boy bowed over her hand and kissed it! She rolled her eyes. He arched his brow.

“Advanced Trigonometry?”

He was offering her a pad of graph paper that had her homework scrawled all over it. She snatched it from him and stuffed it into her bag. It was then she realized the zipper was broken. Great. Just great.

“Why are you so interested in my class schedule?”

He shrugged as he rocked back on his heels. “I’m impressed is all.”

She lifted one shoulder, then dropped it as she attempted to balance her busted backpack in both arms. “My mom insisted on one advanced course this year, and math’s the one subject I don’t suck at.”

He tilted his head. “Intriguing.”

“Why?” she snapped. “Because you assume cheerleaders are moronic sluts?” The bell rang, and she dropped her head back with a groan. “Great! Now you’ve made me late.”

She shouldered past him, and her hackles raised when she heard his low chuckle. He laid a hand on her arm before she could move away and lowered his head to her ear.

“Most guys would find your attitude off-putting, but I love a challenge.”

“Sure you do,” she muttered as she stalked away.

At practice that afternoon, she was informing Ruby that her brother was an absolute pain in the ass.

[ibelieveinharrystyles]

Chapter Two: Secret Love Songs

Always Golden Masterlist

Harry was on Ashley’s mind, it’s all she could think about, the way Will was with him, the way Harry tried to defend himself without causing conflict. It was all she could think about, as she stood at the kitchen counter, stirring the sugar into her tea. “Morning gorgeous, sleep well?” Will asked, snaking his arms around her waist as he stood behind her.

“Fine, yeah,” She sighed, “I’ve got to get Daisy ready.” She told him, pulling away from his embrace and taking her mug of tea upstairs, after working on the breakfast show for almost three years, you would think she’d be used to the insanely early mornings, but suffice to say, she wasn’t. She got Daisy fed and dressed, before doing the same for herself, leaving the house to drop Daisy off at nursery on her way to work, without so much as a goodbye kiss for Will. 

Once she had dropped Daisy off she hopped on her regular tube into work, having moved to North London at the beginning of the year, the journey was far more enjoyable. “Morning Ro,” Ashley smiled as she buzzed herself into the offices.

“Morning Ash, how are you on this fine morning?” He replied.

“Not bad, you seem very cheery.” Ashley said as the duo made their way into the studio.

“It’s a brilliant day, it’s Friday, Harry’s dropped a new song-”

“Has he?” Ashley asked, not aware of this brand new information.

“You do have twitter don’t you? The fans were going crazy about it this morning. We’re playing it on the show later, you can hear it then.” Roman explained.

“I had no idea, me and Will were binge watching netflix last night. Guess I’ll hear it first on the radio.”

“Good morning, you’re listening to Capital Breakfast with me Roman Kemp and Ash Hanson. We’ve got some great music to come your way this morning, with some shiny new releases too.” Roman said into his microphone.

“That’s right, for the first time on the Capital network this is the brand new single, Lights Up by Harry Styles.” Ashley sat back in awe, admiring how much Harry’s sound had matured, the song itself was a masterpiece and she was so proud of Harry for being so honest in his music again. She quickly pulled out her phone, hesitant to send him a message of congratulations, but in the end she did.

Harry lay anxiously in bed, staring at his phone screen as more and more notifications pinged onto his screen. He didn’t bother to open them until he saw Ash’s name pop up on his screen, he opened it to see a text from her, his heart now full of joy; H, it’s incredible, you never fail to amaze me, I’m so incredibly proud of you my rockstar, love A x

For the first time in almost two years, he felt at peace, for it seemed his Ash had forgiven him, she was ready to move on, as was he. In a haste he replied quickly; Do you want to come for dinner at mine later? I’ll cook our favourite, H x

Ashley wasn’t expecting him to reply so quickly, and she wasn’t expecting the reply she got either. For Harry to invite her over, when until August they hadn’t seen each other for two years it seemed like a big deal. She was meant to be going out with Will and Daisy, but they could do that any night. Sounds like a lovely idea, I’ll bring a bottle of something, shall we say 7pm? x

Ashley wasn’t really sure what she was doing, or why she had agreed to it, but she cared for Harry more than she cared for their animosity. She found herself looking back through old photos on her phone, pictures of Harry and Daisy, pictures of Ashley and Harry at various one direction shows, along with some of her favourite pictures of Harry she had taken over the years.

[insert pinterest picture]

“So this is a girl from work you're meeting up with tonight?” Will asked, sat on Ashley’s bed as she curled her hair. He was meant to be staying the night after their family trip out for dinner, but Ashley decided to put that on the back burner. 

“Yeah, her boyfriend’s been cheating on her, she found out last night.” Ashley lied, somehow thinking up a complex web of lies was easier than explaining she was going for dinner with Harry. 

“Couldn’t you just go another night?” Will asked, massaging her shoulders.

“She needs me now Will, they were together for almost seven years, and he goes and shags her best mate. She’s distraught, we can go out literally any other night of the week.” Ashley explained, topping up her lipstick, “How do I look?” 

“Probably just as well you’re meeting up with this girl from work, if there were lads about I wouldn’t want them to so much as glance at you.” Will’s tone surprised her, it was almost territorial, she knew what Harry was like, he was a sucker for dishing out compliments, and Will would absolutely hate him for it.

“Well Holly is very much straight, so there’s no worries there.” Ashley assured him as she buckled up her heels, checking herself in the mirror, the sheer black shirt over a bralette with a leather mini skirt was a risk, but she felt confident, and it was only polite to make an effort for Harry. “I should head off now, I’ll just say bye to Dais.” Ashley made her way into the kitchen where Daisy was munching on fish fingers and potato faces. “Be good for Will my lovely, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Have a good evening baby, love you.” Will whispered, kissing her out of nowhere.

“See you later.” Ashley smiled, before leaving her flat promptly.

In all the years Harry has lived in his massive Hampstead home, Ashley had never got used to the sheer size of it. She felt lucky that she could afford a two bedroom flat in Hackney on just her wages, but this was something else. She rang the buzzer and the gates swung open almost immediately, she made her way up the crazy long driveway, her heels crunching into the gravel. As she arrived at the door, Harry was already there waiting for her, dressed in a shirt, only buttoned halfway of course, with a pair of loose fit trousers, “Don’t you look lovely?” Harry smiled, greeting Ashley with open arms, it had felt like an eternity since Harry had embraced her, his arms made her feel safe in the same way they always had.

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Styles.” Ashley smiled up at him, “Oh I bought wine,” She continued, realising that they had slowly become lost in each other’s gaze.

“Oh right, thank you, come through to the kitchen.” Harry stuttered, taking the bottle from her and leading her into the dimly lit kitchen. “Do you want a glass then?” He asked, taking two from the cupboard.

“Oh of course! Feels like an eternity since I’ve properly let my hair down.” Ashley replied, kicking off the heels that were already giving her blisters.

“Is Will not the partying type then?” Harry asked, sliding her glass to her.

“Do we have to get into that again?” Ashley sighed, remembering the fallout on her Mum’s birthday.

“I’m sorry,” Harry held his hands up, “He’s definitely jealous though.” He smirked.

“What’s there to be jealous of?” 

“Our inexplicable connection,” Harry smiled, “Anyway, this food isn’t going to make itself.” 

“So what are we having?” Ashley asked.

“Your favourite.”

“Which is?” Ashley teased.

“My homemade roast dinner.”

“Is the right answer!” Ashley shouted.

“I don’t think I’m going to need to eat for another five years after that,” Ashley announced as the pair took a seat on Harry’s massive sofa.

“I do my best,” He smiled, “So how’s life been?” 

“Busy, work’s chaotic as always, but I love it, me and Dais moved to Hackney at the beginning of the year, Lou and Lux literally live two doors down from us which Daisy loves. She started nursery last month, she loves it so much, she’s such a little performer, look at this.” Ashley pulled out her phone, turning it to Harry, it was a video of Daisy dancing to a One Direction song that was playing in the middle of a supermarket, she looked up to see Harry wiping his eyes, “Hey, why are you getting like that for H?”

“I was such an idiot, I let you down, both of you,” He sniffled, “I missed all the important bits, when she was born I promised you I’d protect you both, and what did I do? I ran away at the first sign of trouble.” 

“I don’t blame you, at the time I was mad at you, but I could never stay angry at you,  we both know that.” Ashley assured him, taking hold of his hand, “You will always be my best friend, till my very last breath, I promise you that.”

“What would Will have to say about that?” Harry asked.

“Why should his opinion matter? You’re part of my life, and that shouldn’t hinder our relationship in any way at all.” Ashley assured him.

“Do you love him?” Harry asked out of nowhere.

“Of course I do, he makes me happy, and he’s great with Daisy.” Ashley couldn’t help but feel as though she was lying to Harry, she cared for Will, of course she did, but even eight months into their relationship, she hadn’t said that he loved him off her own back.

“As long as you’re happy, I’m happy.”

Hours had passed and Harry and Ashley had been talking non-stop, about life when they were teenagers, life now and everything in between. “Do you want to hear some music from the new album?” Harry asked.

“Are you sure? I know how much of a perfectionist you can be.” Ashley replied.

“I wouldn’t be asking if I didn’t want you to hear it,” Harry led Ashley to his studio, a room in the house that Ashley had never really spent much time in. He pulled up some of the tracks, playing an upbeat one first, Harry sat back in his seat, trying to read Ashley’s emotions. The lyrics echoed through the room, “You’re so golden, I'm out of my head, and I know that you're scared, Because hearts get broken.”

“It’s beautiful H, all of it is.” Ashley told him, Harry’s expression was lifeless, like he didn’t want to have to tell her the truth about something, “Wait hang on, no, surely not,” Ashley was slowly piecing together the truth, “Please tell me that song is not about us.” 

“I can’t lie to you Ash,” Harry whispered.

“No, don’t do this, things are alright between us now, this doesn’t need to happen.” Ashley muttered as she slowly stood up,

“You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same way Ash, you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about it too.” Harry sighed, following after her as she made her way from the studio into the hallway where she left her jacket and shoes.

“We can’t do this Harry, we can’t be those people.” Ashley told him forcefully.

“We could be though, deep down you know it too.” Harry replied softly.

“Harry, I know how this works, you find someone, its sunshine and roses for a couple of months and then one day you shatter their heart into a million pieces.” Ashley cried, tears streaming down her cheeks, “And I’m not going to let that be me.” 

Ashley slept badly, the following morning she woke up to the sound of Daisy’s hysterical laughter coming from the kitchen, she threw on the first hoodie she could find and made her way downstairs to see Will and Daisy making cupcakes. “Morning you two,” She smiled, filling the kettle up with water.

“It’s the afternoon,” Will replied bluntly as he helped Daisy ice her cupcakes, “You got back late Ash, I was worried about you.” 

“Holly needed me there, she got drunk and I put her to bed.” Ashley lied.

“Could’ve texted me though.” Will replied,

“My phone died.” Ashley explained, pouring herself a cup of tea.

“Yeah I realised, hence why I put it on charge,” He unplugged her phone and slid it forcefully across the counter to her, “Might want to check your messages, a certain someone was really concerned whether you got home last night.”

Ashley’s heart fell to the pit of her stomach, “Dais go play in your room for a bit please.”

“But I’m busy.” Daisy replied.

“Just go please poppet,” Ashley smiled, causing Daisy to hop off her chair and run upstairs to her room.

“So are you going to tell me why he wants to know you got home safely?” Will asked.

“I saw him last night.” Ashley whispered.

“So Holly doesn’t exist?”

“I didn’t tell you, because I knew it would make you angry,” Ashley explained.

“Well how do you think it makes me feel that you lied to me?” 

“He invited me for dinner, it was just two old friends having a catch up, nothing more than that.” Ashley assured him.

“I don’t know whether I believe you.” Will huffed.

“Will I promise you, nothing happened, we ate dinner, talked about old memories, that's it.”

“Fine, if that's the truth, I believe you. Just don’t go doing stuff behind my back again.”

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #391

“if you wanna soar with vultures, you’ll have to swallow crow”

Have you ever been to Australia? No. I want to visit a friend there, but honestly, Australia scares me too much lmao. That place is like, the Hard mode in life. Who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My sister's husband just had his. Are you wearing a necklace? If so, describe it. No. Do you know anyone who is left-handed? My best fren. Ever wear out a CD? What was it? Haha, yeah... I caused a few scratches on Ozzy's Black Rain, as well as one more of his, where the album name is surprisingly evading me. What’s your favorite card game? Magic: The Gathering. What’s your favorite fast food meal? Burgers or chicken tenders are usually my go-to, depending on the place. Where is the best restaurant you’ve ever eaten in at? The Cheesecake Factory. @_@ Lamb chops or pork chops? I've actually never tried lamb chops before, but I've always thought they look yummy. If you HAD to pick ONE song to listen to for the rest of your life, and that would be the only song you ever heard, what would it be? "Life Won't Wait" by Ozzy Osbourne, probably. It's very motivating. Ever heard of Shinedown? Yeah, I like 'em. They're one of Dad's faves. What size is your bed? Queen. What is the first meal you remember eating? Hell if I know. What was the first movie you ever saw? I also don't remember. What percentile of your class were you in? The top. Can you name every place you’ve ever had sex? I probably could, but I'm not going to. What forms of birth control have you used? The pill and also just not having a sex life lmao. Do you use sponges or dishcloths when doing the dishes? A sponge. What’s your favorite song on the top twenty right now? I have zero clue what's in the top twenty. Ever punched a wall? No. What was the last bug you killed and what did you use? An ant in the house. My fingers. Ever get pulled over by the cops and get away without a ticket? I've never been pulled over. What was your first legal alcoholic drink? A margarita, I think? What’s the most expensive things your parents ever bought you? Probably this laptop. What’s the most expensive thing you’ve bought? My snake. Or my most recent tattoo, idr. What is your favorite cover song? I think Disturbed's "Sound of Silence" is unbeatable as a cover. Well, or Johnny Cash's "Hurt." Both SLAUGHTER the originals. Did you ever drop out of school? College, three times. Ever raise a child that wasn’t your own for more than 3 months? No. Strangest medical procedure ever performed on you? Considering the location, having a pilonidal cyst drained by pushing on it. Jesus FUCKING Christ it hurt so goddamn bad. Does the place you work have music playing? What sort? I don’t have a job. Do you use Windows, Mac, Linux, or something else entirely? Windows. Do you cut tags out of clothing so they don’t itch and bother you? Yes. How many times a year do you go on vacation? Zero, generally. What is your favorite time period in history to learn about? The Holocaust. What’s the saddest report you have ever seen on the news? *shrug* I don't watch the news. In your honest opinion, what is the scariest sea creature you know? Putting aside my illogical fear of whale sharks, probably giant squid. Like no thank u. What superpower do you think would be the most handy in times of trouble? Teleportation. Do you believe there is just one love for everyone, or…? No. There are WAY too many people in the world for that. Plus, you're talking to a person who has been in love with two different individuals, and both were perfectly valid feelings. Why are you best friends with your best friend? She's just simply amazing. Strong, funny, intelligent, caring, supportive, loyal... She's, again, amazing. Do you world peace is truly a possibility in the future? Realistically, no. But it's nice to imagine. Pretend you are a really good cook, what meal would you make? *shrug* It would depend on what I wanted to eat. What do you think of when you look at the stars? Just the vastness of everything, and I wonder what it's like up there in outer space. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked? Dead? Their shells are part of their actual skeletal structure. What’s one thing you feel you must do in your life before it ends? Just... feel like I did something. What Disney princess are you most like? Personality-wise, I mean. Maybe Belle? To be totally honest, I don't really remember the details of most of their personalities. What do you think is the most important thing in this life is? Love. Do you use any acne medication? Not anymore. Have you ever tried to learn another language? How did it go? I took Latin for one semester, and it was hard as FUCK. I quickly changed to German next semester and did that for all four available classes. Do you still have a landline phone in your home? No. Throughout a typical week, which places are you likely to go? I go to the TMS therapy office every weekday, and I might ride with my mom to pick up groceries or something. How often do you use your webcam, if you even have one that is? Never anymore because my mic doesn't work on this laptop, so there's no reason to. Do you have a lock number or pattern for your phone? Neither, actually. What was the last thing you bought from a liquor store? Mom bought a nice bottle of some pink lemonade Smirnoff the other day for us to try, but she left it at my sister's. ;-; It looked soooo good. Is there any cereal in your house? What kind? Yeah. Mom got some Honey Nut Cheerios and Reese's Puffs. What's the most number of people you've ever lived with? Excluding myself, I wanna say five. Do you celebrate St. Patrick's Day? No. Do you have any pets? How long have you had them? I've had Venus forrrr... I want to say four years, and Roman for two, I think. What's your favourite kind of cheese? American. Have you danced in the rain? No. Who is your favorite person to text? Sara. What’s your favorite brand of jeans? I haven't worn jeans in many years. Do you enjoy Mario games? Not especially. Mario Kart is fun, though. What’s your favorite online game? World of Warcraft. Have you ever been hit with a ball in gym class? Yes. That shit hurts. Who was last to cook for you? My mom. Would you ever wish to explore a cave? YES!!!!! You see the person you fell hardest for. What do you do? Freeze, physically and mentally. Have you ever ridden in a car with someone who was high? Yes, because I was afraid to say no. Did you ever date the last person you kissed? Yes. Have you ever held a snake? Plenty of times. How often do you have friends over to your house? Never. Have you ever had a boss who acted unprofessionally? No. Who was the last person who cried around you? Why did they start crying? Was it unexpected? My mom, because she always feels unwanted at Ashley's house. It wasn't unexpected, honestly. She cries a lot in the car when she leaves my sister's house, honestly. It's heartbreaking. Do you have any exercises you do everyday? No. :/ Are you more of a dog or cat person? I'm a cat person. That only becomes more apparent with time, really. Have you ever had a dream of stabbing someone? I probably have, given I've had nightmares of strangling someone, punching and slapping people... all kinds of stuff. My nightmares are so fucking violent and I hate it. Would you ever have a bird as a pet? No. Have you ever had to speak at a funeral? No. Do you know someone who’s been cremated? My dog, as well as my younger sister's old pup. And Mom's. What is your favorite animated movie? The Lion King. Did your grandparents teach you anything? To not be horrendously old-fashioned and to never have kids, yes. Congrats, Grandma, I took both things to heart. Do you want/have a Bachelor's degree? No. Are you into superheroes? Who's your favourite? Not massively, no. I like Deadpool (yeah, yeah, antihero, whatever) and Spider-Man. Have you ever played Cards Against Humanity? Did you like it? Yes to both. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? I don't think so. Did you ever play Neopets when you were younger? Yes, I LOVED them. Sometimes I'm still tempted to make a new account, I shit you not, lol. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have your parents ever worked in medicine? My mom was a pharmacy technician or some title like that for a long time. Is there anything unusual about your house? I don't think so? How many serious relationships have you been in? Two. Do you listen to Rise Against? I only know "Re-education (Through Labor)," but I LOVE that song. When was the last time you congratulated someone? It was probably something on Facebook, but idr. Have you ever taken care of a newborn baby? Go no, I could never. How old were you when you got your ears pierced? I don't remember my age, but old enough where I did it of my own volition. Do you snore when you sleep? No. Surprising for someone with sleep apnea as horrendous as mine. What was the last type of burger you ate? I had a McDouble from McDonald's a few nights ago.

[thefanficmonster]

Forever With You

Sam Giddings (Until Dawn) x Emo!Reader (Female)

Warnings: Death, Mourning, Swearing, Slight Gore

Genre: Angst

Summary: Living with knowing that your life was basically given back to you from near-death thanks to the demise of a loved one is the closest feeling to death with your heart still beating. Sam now knows that. The whole group knows that. Good thing friends stick together even after death. 

Requested by my lovely Until Dawn Anon. Hi babyy! I hope you enjoy the read and I sure as hell hope this isn’t the last request of yours I’ll be writing. We’re business partners at this point LOL. Love you ❤❤❤

QUICK NOTE - Some elements of this fic, by request of Until Dawn Anon, have been inspired by a certain drama series. I’m not gonna name it to avoid spoilers for both the show and this fic, but whoever’s watched the show will recognize which show is being referenced.

Sam’s POV

“You’d make a mean hunter!“ Chris comments as Y/N lowers the shotgun after shooting her mark for the fifth time. 

“Nah, I’d never hurt animals.“ She gives him a sincere smile, “But I appreciate you thinking I have the proper skillset.“

We’re waiting for the world’s slowest cable car to make its way to our station, aka the lower station so we can meet up with the rest of our group, assuming that any of them are already there. 

When I arrived at the station Chris, Ashley and Y/N were already there. They were sitting on the benches outside the station, waiting for me. I was actually supposed to take the same bus as them but something came up right as I was about to head to the bus station, forcing me to take the bus an hour after theirs.

“Sam, I will never forgive you for this, I swear!“ Y/N says, standing up from the bench and heading in my direction, “You let me thirdwheel alone! I mean, I could only survive watching these two beat around the bush for so long!“ She lowered her voice when she said that, giving the couple us two and Josh call Chrashley a quick glance over the shoulder.

I took her hands in mine almost instinctively, “Aw, I’m sorry. But look on the bright side: the love radiating off them is so strong it kept you warm as well!” It was true, her usually freezing hands were not so frozen. Still colder than a person’s should be, but not yet to the point of provoking concern.

She smirked, rolling her eyes, “You know I’d rather freeze to death than have love keep me warm.” She spat the word ‘love’ as though it was poisonously bitter in her mouth. Luckily, before I could say anything more, Chris dragged us to the makeshift shooting range he had found at the side of the snow covered clearing.

It didn’t take long for him and Y/N to start getting competitive with one another, like the not-blood-related siblings they are, so now Ash and I are observing their little competition of who can hit the most marks with the smallest amount of prep time. It’s obvious Y/N the one winning, but Chris isn’t the quitter type so while she is shooting even the smallest of pebbles in the snow we point out to her, he’s still aiming for the hanging sacks of sand and the glass bottles.

With the two of them being so immersed in their ‘competition’, Ashley and I are chatting while remaining a safe distance away from the shooting pair - Chris especially. Y/N has at least slight experience in the field. Being at the distance that we are, we are also out of earshot for them. So, both Ash and I bring up the obvious topic that never remains unspoken - RELATIONSHIPS.

“You and Y/N have been really close as of late. Finally making things official?“ Ash nudges the conversation first as she adjusts the beanie she’s wearing.

I sigh, a white cloud created from that breath of something between disappointment and dread, “We’re not even unofficial. We’re just friends.“ I take the opportunity to take a teasing stab at her, “I’m not luck enough to have my...“ I make quotation marks with my fingers, “’crush’ feel the same way about me. Unlike you.“ I smirk at her, noticing the color of red appearing on her cheeks despite the cold breeze that’s caressing every inch of exposed skin, making it worryingly pale.

“I wouldn’t be so sure, Sam. For both of those statements.“ She says diplomatically, scanning the shooting duo with a quick once-over. “She isn’t as reserved when she’s with you. I know you don’t notice, but everyone else does. She’s different, warmer even, with you.“ I expect her to go on, explaining her situation with Chris, but she doesn’t.

As much as I’d like to get her to go on and spill a little of what she feels about Chris, even though everyone and their grandmothers already know, I can’t help but let my mind go down the rabbit hole of ‘what if’s. I’m not oblivious nor blind, I can see the way her demeanor changes around me in comparison to, let’s say, when she’s around Mike. However, she’s ‘warmer’ with Josh, Chris, Matt and Ash as well. It’s called friendliness. It’s no secret that she’s never been too fond of Emily or Jess or Mike. The friendliness of a person can so easily be taken out of context when someone’s crushing on them.

And Y/N’s friendliness especially. This girl hates romance. Absolutely hates it. The word ‘love’ itself gets her annoyed and bothered to the point of discomfort sometimes. I have never tried to probe and try to figure out why. I say I haven’t cause I respect her privacy, but truth be told I am scared. I want to believe there is a small part of her that still wants to experience a romantic relationship, a love connection, and I’m afraid that prodding the subject would shatter all the hopes I have.

How did I end up falling for this dark, broody, Catwoman like emo girl? - I have no idea. It was only natural if you ask me. I think I’m not the only one who’s so whipped by her, but I could never be sure. I mean, how could someone NOT fall for this raven badass: black hair, eyes just a shade lighter than black, tattoos - perfect combination of beauty and brains. And balls, she’s probably the boldest person I’ve ever known or will ever meet. What really caught my attention when I first laid eyes on her was the way she shined. Literally. I don’t mean that as a cheesy metaphor - the girl is always covered in jewelry that reflects the sunlight perfectly. She mesmerized me from day one. She made me a big hypocrite - I was always the one to tell Chris and Ash to make a move, to confess their feelings, and now here I am, in their shoes as though they have cursed me.

“Hey, eagle eyes! Our ride’s here.“ Ash announces, handing Chris his backpack as they fall in step, walking side by side around the station.

Y/N falls in step with me, elbowing my ribs gently, “Slow down, let’s give them some privacy.” She slows her pace to a frustratingly slow walk and I oblige, “I don’t usually say things like this, but they are really cute.”

We’d be really cute

Wait, where did that thought come from?!

“Yeah, I know.“ I say through the fog of confusion that has taken over my brain. “They sure are.“ I clear my throat, trying to hide the fact that my own mind just shocked me. Damn, what is happening to me? What is this crush doing to me? It’s exhausting and terrifying but....I don’t want it to stop.

                                                              *  *  *

“It’s ok, baby. You’re ok.“ Y/N’s voice echoes in the eeriness of the mines.

How did this night make a swerve for the worst so suddenly. All of it, all the horrors just piled up so suddenly. We’re fearful of our own shadows at this point. We are terrified of each other as well. We’re all in a fragile and vulnerable state, with out sanity hanging by a thread. We are all slowly losing ourselves more and more, the events of the past few hours and the hours to come dragging us in the depth of this seemingly endless void of terror.

And then there’s Y/N. Mike, her and I have just found Josh who was having some sort of hallucination-riddled breakdown in the mines. While Mike and I stood aside, contemplating our next move, Y/N didn’t waste any time hesitating. She ran right to his aid and literally pulled him out of his horrific delusions, wrapping her arms around him tightly, murmuring words of comfort as he cried on her shoulder.

“I’m so sorry. For everything. I should’ve done something...I should’ve saved them.. I shouldn’t have done this to you guys.“ Josh’s sobs tear my heart to pieces. Seeing him like this is like watching a disaster happen right in front of me, but I’m incapable of doing anything to prevent it or aid help the people affected by it. I’m helpless, I can just stand aside and watch. Watch as he falls apart and Y/N desperately trying to keep him together as if she’s strong enough to carry such duty on her shoulders.

“It’ll all be over soon, it’ll all be ok. Hannah and Beth know it wasn’t your fault, Josh. We forgive you too. Please, don’t do this, at least not now.“ Just as she says those word, an inhuman screech comes from somewhere in the distance behind us, accompanied by another shortly after which came from right up-front. 

Good thing we don’t have to head in either of those directions, not that we’re safe no matter which path we take. We’re walking through thigh deep water which could be hiding anything below the surface yet we wouldn’t know because it looks more like ink than water. We’re not the most discreet nor quiet as we move forward, taken that we are doing our best to push through with letting out as little curse words and sneers due to the inability to feel our lower body.

My foot hits something solid and rather sharp, most likely a large stone, causing me to let out a loud hiss before I could stop it. I freeze, listening on the noises surrounding us, expecting those screeches to emerge from behind the nearest wall and put an end to this torture we’re enduring. 

I nearly jump out of my skin when a hand wraps around my wrist gently. My first instinct is to pull away, all my muscles tensing as I try to take a step back. 

“Hey, hey relax. It’s ok.“ Y/N’s voice is unusually soft and sweet, just like when she was comforting Josh. It’s the voice she uses when aiding a hurt animal, or calming a weeping baby. “You’re ok, nothing bad will happen to us, ok Sam? We’re making it out of here.“ She’s carrying the mom role, the older sister role, the nurse role and the pillar we’re all leaning on for support. She’s keeping it together so we can too.

Her hand moves down to mine, unfolding my fingers that I’ve curled into a tight fist due to the uncomfortable sensation of being half frozen and half numb. He holds my hand open while quickly slipping off a ring from her pointer finger and putting it on mine. It has a small brightly blue rock on it. I recognize it right away - it’s the only ring she wears permanently. She changes all her other accessories, but never this ring. I can swear I’ve heard her joke that she’d like to be buried with it when the time comes.

“The lady that gave me this ring said it symbolizes the courage to carry on while carrying the world on your shoulders, and that really stuck with me.“ Her tone takes me to a different place, somewhere nice, safe and warm. Her words wrap around me like a safety blanket, for a moment letting me forget everything: the past few hours, the present and the yet to be determined future. “I have a feeling you need that courage more than I do.“

I nod but I’m physically unable to look up and meet her eyes. My gaze is fixated on her hands, which I’ve never felt so warm, holding mine as though it’s made of porcelain.

“If you keep going at this rate, all your jewelry will end up on me.“ I fish the necklace from underneath my hoodie, holding the charm so she can see it.

It’s a necklace she gave me right before she went on her first forest ranger training program. We weren’t sure if we’d see her again when we were at the train station saying goodbye. She said there was a chance of her staying at the camp to fully devote herself to what she wanted for her future. Thankfully though, she returned about four months later. I remember how hard I had to fight my tears that day. I should’ve know it would be useless - Y/N notices everything. That necklace, a beautiful blood red circular pendant hanging on a silver chain, was her saying ‘see you soon, hopefully’. I haven’t taken it off me since.

“I’ve already written it all to you in my will.“ She gives my hand a squeeze before letting go and continuing forward. After a brief return to the present reality I follow, making sure to always be an arm reach away at most from Y/N. Being within close proximity to her makes me feel like it will be alright. I mean, she said it would be, and she’s never wrong.

We enter an area where the water isn’t as still anymore. It rushes towards this small cliff where it creates a waterfall, pooling in the lower level in the form of a deep lake. The water is way higher there and the ground at the bottom is not reachable.

“Let’s try not to get pulled.“ Mike declares, his walk now more of a struggle just like everyone else’s “If we can reach that wall without dying we should be ok.“

We all nod, more as a way of reassuring ourselves than a response to his statement. We are less than fifteen feet away, I have a strong belief we can make it.

Ten feet away. We’re almost there.

And then we hear it - a deafening screech. It’s right next to me.

We turn to see that monster grab Y/N by her throat, throwing her into the water. Before we even have time to react, it’s too late. The thing has once again picked her up, holding her high above the surface of the water. She looks at me, her eyes screaming the way her vocal chords can’t. The fear has silenced her.

The wendigo’s other hand pierces through her chest, pulling her heart out. 

She’s gone. She’s gone. She can’t be gone! WHY HER?! Why couldn’t it be me?! Why am I still drawing breath when she just let out her last one?! WHY DID IT GO FOR HER?! Is it because it knew that’s the quickest way to kill me?! TO KILL ALL OF US?!

The wendigo throws Y/N’s body over the cliff and into the deep lake below right before it climbs one of the stone walls and leaves our sight. It didn’t see any of us. We were too frozen to move even if we tried, of course it didn’t see us. 

“We..- we gotta keep moving. Sam, come on. It’s over. She’s gone. We can’t help her.“ Each word shakier than the last, but still like sharp stabs right through my chest. Mike has taken hold of my arm and is leading me towards the wall we are supposed to climb to get out of here and back to the lodge.

                                                            *  *  *

I don’t remember climbing the damn thing. I don’t remember the way back to the lodge. I can faintly recall the pained cries of everyone in the basement when Mike told them what happened. All that time I couldn’t utter a single word. I couldn’t comprehend what had happened. It all happened so out of the blue and it was over so quickly, like it wasn’t the end of a human life. Like it didn’t matter and it wouldn’t have any lasting effects on anything that followed. As though her death wasn’t worth to be remembered.

It all sunk in only after I was out of that hell-hole lodge, the flames dancing in front of my eyes, surrounding the structure that within its walls held several of those monsters, one of which was the one that killed Y/N.

Y/N

Thinking of her got me to look down at the pendant of the necklace around my neck, the fire being reflected off its smooth red surface. Like a pool of blood in the middle of a forest caught by a wildfire.

See you soon, hopefully

I take one look at those woods, my heart sinking at the thought that behind those trees there’s an entrance to the mines. The mines that are now the resting place of the girl I loved. The girl that deserved better.

“Sam, they’re here. We’re safe. They’re saving us. It’s finally over.“ Mike’s words are nothing but a faint echo at the back of my conscience.

What’s on the front lines of my mind is that phrase - See you soon, hopefully. I’ll be seeing her soon. But not through death, she would never wish that upon me or anyone.

She’ll come back. She won’t let this be the end. She’s too stubborn.

“SAM!“ The screams fail to reach me completely as I run as though my life depends on it. My feet barely touch the ground, my instinct leading me to the nightmarish depths of this mountain. 

I will not allow it to be your resting place, Y/N!

I jump from the top of the wall into the shallow water, letting the water drag my shaky form towards the cliff. With zero hesitation or doubt, no regard for the filthiness of the water or the horrors that may await me below its surface.

It’s pitch black. I can’t see or feel a thing. My body feels like it’s being stabbed by thousands of needles, causing it to go numb. I push my lungs to their limits, testing every cell of my body, begging them to not fail me.

The discourage starts settling in, accompanied by the pain that’s spreading throughout my chest due to the lack of oxygen. I’m just about to swim to the surface to breathe when I see it.

A glow. More of a reflection, actually. The reflection I was talking about earlier. The minimal light that’s pushing its way into the mines has made it to this depth and is being reflected by a metal ring connected to a pale hand.

Dizziness and pain all but forgotten, I push myself to swim lower, grasping the hand and giving it my all to pull it up. I only realize I’m above water when air enters my lungs in large gulps. It takes me a second to take in the fact that I’m holding the bloody, pale, unmoving body of Y/N with a hole through her chest.

“Please...“ I beg through gasps for breath, “Please open your eyes, live. Oh God, a wendigo or not just...just please come back to me, Y/N! Come back to take me with you!“

Despite my words of desperation, my screams of agony, I know they are in vain. I know she wouldn’t come back even if she could. She would rather stay dead than return as a threat to her friends with the risk of actually hurting them. She would never bring harm to her loved ones.

Images flash before my eyes: The hurt in her eyes when Josh’s scheme was revealed; Her comforting Ashley while Chris was out with the Flamethrower Guy; Talking Mike into putting the gun away and not shooting Em; Her standing up to Emily, grabbing her arm before she could hit Ash; Her comforting the disoriented and scared Josh we found in the mines; Her looking at me a second before her death.

There are two scenes that have been permanently engraved in my memory: Seeing her shining form for the first time and seeing her ink-like eyes, filled with terror for the last time.  

                                                            *  *  *

We’re sitting in a room with bright neon lights and security cameras in each corner. I don’t remember how I got here. I don’t even remember leaving the mines. We were all given a change of clothes and a blanket. They offered us food and something to drink to refuel our bodies but after those horrors we saw, non of us are able to hold anything down. Josh was taken to a separate room the moment the helicopter landed and we haven’t seen him since.

I’m sitting on a bench next to Chris and Ashley, opposite Mike, Jess and Emily. Poor Jess has had it the roughest out of all of us. She has been drained of all emotion, her face isn’t even pale - more see-through. Mike’s arm is protectively wrapped around her shoulders, keeping her close. Matt and Emily are holding hands, unable to say anything to each other. Chris has Ashley tightly wrapped in his arms as though he’s prepared to protect her from anything. 

And I’m alone. 

I saw a black body bag being unloaded from the helicopter. I knew whose body it contained. No one dared say a word about it. We had run out of tears and words at that point.

I keep my head hanging low, my eyes fixated on the white tiled floor beneath my feet. The lights are too bright compared to my pitch black world. It’s all just empty and meaningless now. Looking back, I should’ve taken my own advice and spoken up about how I felt. Maybe it wouldn’t have changed much, maybe everything would’ve been different. And that’s the real torment - I will never know.

I straighten up, squinting at the artificial blinding lights, resting my back against the wall behind me. As I’m doing so, I catch a glimpse of something shiny in front of me. 

My heart leaps. 

It’s such an irrational reaction to something so simple. So ordinary to anyone else.

The shine is coming from the light reflecting off the chain Mike’s wearing around his neck. A familiar chain I’ve seen on someone else.

“That’s Y/N’s.“ I bark at him angrily, gaining his attention, “Why do you have it?!“

“Sam...“ Chris’ hand rests on my arm, “We all have something hers. She was sentimental, remember?“

‘Was‘. That change from ‘is‘ to ‘was‘ is killing me. And the ease with which everyone has accepted that Y/N is now a thing of the past.

“She gave me a bracelet.“ Ashley shows me her wrist

“She gave me this cool watch...“ Chris rolls up his sleeve, “I’m glad it survived all the crap it was put through with me. Not a scratch.“

“She’d haunt you if you scratched it.“ Matt smiles but his eyes are dull with sadness

“She’ll haunt us regardless.“ Emily says, “I hope she does.“

The rest of the crew shows the pieces Y/N left them of herself and it’s the most heartwarming while also heartbreaking feeling. The room has a different atmosphere all of a sudden. We are seven people, each with a soul of our own and a piece of Y/N’s. 

As long as all the pieces are near each other, she’ll be alive and present. She’ll live on to watch over us and guide us. She’s probably looking down at us right now, relieved that we made it out. Overjoyed that Chris and Ashely are finally where they’re supposed to be - in each other’s arms. Glad Matt and Emily have found a stable middle ground. Proud of Jess for what she survived back there and happy she has found safety in Mike’s embrace. And what does she feel about me? As I said, I’ll never know, I can only hope she heard what I said to her back in the mines.

Assumptions aside, her message is crystal clear and leaves no room for speculations:

As long as we’re together, she’ll be with us. Forever.

[theycallmegothboy]

1-100 >:DDDD REVENGE!!!

FELIXXXXXXXXXXXX >:(( 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora?  -spotify  2. is your room messy or clean? -it’s pretty messy i guess  3. what color are your eyes? -blue and grey

4. do you like your name? why? -yeah it’s fine 5. what is your relationship status? -single 6. describe your personality in 3 words or less -certified intrusive thot 7. what color hair do you have? -brown and rn it’s red 8. what kind of car do you drive? color? -i dont have a car 9. where do you shop? -hot topic, goodwill, target 10. how would you describe your style? -comfy emo 11. favorite social media account -of mine, probably discord or youtube 12. what size bed do you have? -twin >:(( 13. any siblings? -i have 1.5 brothers  14. if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? -probably vancouver, idk canada seems lit 15. favorite snapchat filter? -i like the one with devil horns and a tail but its cute 16. favorite makeup brand(s) -i dont wear makeup 17. how many times a week do you shower? -i used to shower every day, but i dont do anything that gets me dirty so like maybe 3 times but if i leave the house then i shower 18. favorite tv show? -stranger things 19. shoe size?  -8 or 9 20. how tall are you? -5′6 with shoes >:(( 21. sandals or sneakers? -sneakers wtf 22. do you go to the gym? -lol no 23. describe your dream date -making some pie or something together and then eating the pie and then sitting on some rooftop looking at stars 24. how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? -quite a bit actually but i’m saving up for a phone lol so soon it will be like maybe 10 dollars lmao 25. what color socks are you wearing? -not wearing socks but the ones i had earlier were white (ankle length) 26. how many pillows do you sleep with? -just one but it sucks 27. do you have a job? what do you do? -NO BUT IM TRYING TO GET A JOB BUT THE FUCKIN PEOPLE THERE ARE GHOSTING ME AND WONT REPLY TO MY EMAILS SO LIKE SBJHBJS 28. how many friends do you have? -like 4 lmao 29. whats the worst thing you have ever done? -idk nothing super bad but i do a lot of small shit that makes me feel guilty when i realize what i did 30. whats your favorite candle scent? -juniper rosewood 31. 3 favorite boy names -leo, clay, charlie 32. 3 favorite girl names -ivy, uh... idk thats all ive got 33. favorite actor? -no clue 34. favorite actress? -no clue 35. who is your celebrity crush? -not a celeb but i’d smash danny phantom 36. favorite movie? -nightmare before christmas or edward scissorhands 37. do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? -no, but my fav book is probably the prince and the pauper? idk 38. money or brains? -CASH MONEYYYY jk probably brains but if your entire personality is being “smart” like fuck off lmao   39. do you have a nickname? what is it? - a bunch of people call me son (see #49, #100), some call me rat, dumdum, goth boy

40.how many times have you been to the hospital? -just once i think when i was birthed. i also went once with my brother cause he kicked some scissors i left out on the floor and it sliced his toe the fuck open and he needed stitches and i watched him get the stitches and almost passed out :/ 41. top 10 favorite songs -please dont make me do this i dont have it in me 42. do you take any medications daily? -yea i take 20mg of vyvanse but i need to get it raised to 30 cause 20 is Not Enough 43. what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) -i got some dry fuckin skin yall dont even know 44. what is your biggest fear?  -it depends. the dark is a pretty constant one though 45. how many kids do you want? -like 2 or 3 eventually 46. whats your go to hair style? -in my face, looking stupid 47. what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc)  -it’s pretty small 48. who is your role model? -i dont fuckin know lmao  49. what was the last compliment you received? - “i belive in you, my son, you’re an amazing human being“ (same friend mentioned in #100, not actually a parent of mine) 50. what was the last text you sent? -”no it’s a raccoon“ YOU GET NO CONTEXT LMAO 51. how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? -i dont think i ever hardcore believed in him, maybe i did though i remember sleeping under the tree one christmas eve waiting for him but i was like “oh yeah that makes sense“ i guess 52. what is your dream car?  -i honestly dont give a shit as long as it actually fucking works 53. opinion on smoking? -cigarettes? fuck no that’s nastyyy. weed? that’s fine i guess but wait till you’re like 18.  54. do you go to college? -no. am sophomore n highschool 55. what is your dream job?  -musician/palentologist 56. would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs?  -fuck the suburbs lmao, but also im tired of rural, so like.. semi urban?? 57. do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels?  -no but i take the little soaps >:)) 58. do you have freckles?  -yes 59. do you smile for pictures? -awkwardly, yes 60. how many pictures do you have on your phone?  -dont have a phone but i have like 12 on my computer currently. 4 are of me, the rest are of my cat or random shit 61. have you ever peed in the woods?  -yes 62. do you still watch cartoons?  -cartoons these days kinda suck but like if they were good fuck yeah i would like gravity falls can come hang yknow? 63. do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? -i had nuggets from mcdonalds today so i guess them? i dont really care 64. Favorite dipping sauce?  -i got sweet and sour but i dont like it that much. that schezuan sauce was great 65. what do you wear to bed?  -wouldnt you like to know? ;))  66. have you ever won a spelling bee?  -NO ive only been in two. the first one i misspelled the word “turmoil“ cause i had never heard it before and the second one i spelled the word “owed“ as “ode“ cause i was thinking like ode to joy and then i felt like a big Fool afterwards :(( 67. what are your hobbies? -lol what hobbies 68. can you draw?  -i am physically able to draw, but not well, no 69 (haha). do you play an instrument? -yeah i play a few 70. what was the last concert you saw?  -i saw Chicago in either georgia or tennessee i cant remember in like 2016 71. tea or coffee? -hot coffee, iced tea. NOT the other way around. (i love both though) 72. Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? -starbucks 73. do you want to get married? -sure why not 74. what is your crush’s first and last initial? -dont have a crush 75. are you going to change your last name when you get married?  -idk maybe 76. what color looks best on you?  -i dont know but i wear black a lot and that’s pretty dope 77. do you miss anyone right now? -yeah  78. do you sleep with your door open or closed? -closed 79. do you believe in ghosts? -on the fence. not 100% “oh my god look at these gHoSt oRbS i need to sage my house!!!“ but i accept that there’s some things i wont understand about the world and that i have no answers to. i wouldnt be surprised if there are, and i wouldnt be surprised if there aren’t. 80. what is your biggest pet peeve? -whatever my adhd decides i viscerally hate with a firey passion right at that moment  81. last person you called -my brother (the 1 of the 1.5 from #13 and the one who sliced his toe in #40) 82. favorite ice cream flavor?  -chocolate is dope 83. regular oreos or golden oreos?  -regular double stuff. if you say golden, mint, peppermint, or thin oreos i’m gonna have to euthanize you, i dont make the rules.  84. chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? -rainbow cause it’s prettier  85. what shirt are you wearing?  -queen shirt from hot topic 86. what is your phone background? -i didnt get a phone between question 60 and now but my computer one is some mountains with the moon in the background 87. are you outgoing or shy? -really depends on who i’m around 88. do you like it when people play with your hair? -YES FUCK AAAAAAA (this girl played with my hair literally once in middle school and i was like oh shit and i had a crush on her until the end of middle school true story,,, so ashley if you’re out there-) 89. do you like your neighbors? -to the left they’re fine and their dog is nice but idk what happened to the horses so that’s sus but that’s where our cat came from so they can hang  guess, behind me they’re fine but their boys are loud, to the right they’re fine, and even further to the right are the dope neighbors and waaaaaaaaaay far to the right is a llama and he’s dope as hell 90. do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? -whenever the fuck i remember to/have the energy 91. have you ever been high?  -i dont think so but i wouldnt put it past myself 92. have you ever been drunk?  -not that i can remember, no 93. last thing you ate?  -sloppy joe from a can 94. favorite lyrics right now -”not gonna waste my life, cause i’ve been fucked up“ 95. summer or winter?  -fall. fuck you 96. day or night?  -night but i like it when it’s actually night and it doesnt get dark at like 4 fucking pm cause that makes me depressed 97. dark, milk, or white chocolate? -dark is good, milk is fine, white is only suitable for fancy stripes on chocolate covered strawberries 98. favorite month?  -i vibe with september 99. what is your zodiac sign -sagittarius (was almost a scorpio but i was holding out >:))) 100. who was the last person you cried in front of?  -in person, my mom like 6 months ago, on a discord call, my friend (i love you by the way, you’re the best,,, i dont think he has tumblr but im just putting it out there) like a month or so ago. i hate crying in front of people, i turn into such a hyperventilating snot monster which is not suitable for human gaze and thats the real tea :/

felix this took like 2 hours of my life i will never get back i hate you and i hope you’re happy with what you’ve done <3 <3

also anyone who wants to stalk me, enjoy this information that im handing to you on a silver platter :)) <3

[ddaengyoonmin]

-Blind To Love-

Pairing: Dom!Hoseok x Virgin!Reader. (Slightly but not really much) Taehyung x Reader

Genre: ANGST (Like really angsty), Smut, A bit of Fluff at the end.  Author also tried for humor a few times and may have failed lmao

Warnings: Oral (Female receiving); Masturbation (Male); Descriptions of Cheating; Losing Virginity; Unprotected sex; Alcohol intoxication; Mentions of being taken advantage of while intoxicated.

Songs I listened to a lot while writing: - Wicked Games- The Weekend ; Kiss land-The Weekend; Friends of friends- Manila Grey; Hurt-Oliver Tree

Word Count: 13.5k

A/N: This is my first time writing a full sex scene. Not totally sure if it was a success but we’ll see lol Let me know what you guys think! I had fun writing this.  This was based on a short drabble I had done in my ‘talking between kisses reaction set’

A Blind date your best friend set you up on goes from amazing to horrible.  Yet neither of you can get the other off your mind.  Maybe there really was something there...

-------------------------------------------------------------------

You didn’t think moving on would be easy.  Especially not as easy as your best friend Ashley was making it sound.

It had been a month since it happened.  The love of your life, you’d been with since high school had decided his was fed up with your idea of waiting to have sex with him.  You’d fought about it many times but usually it would end with his temper simmering down and him sighing an ‘I still love you y/n, I just don’t know how much longer I can wait’

You really didn’t have a good reason of why you hadn’t had sex yet, it just never seemed like the right time, something always ended up feeling off once you were close to it and you’d chicken out.  

Once you’d even screamed a “Nevermind!” Right before Jackson was about to put it in.  He was less than pleased about that, and didn’t talk to you for about a week.  You felt like shit about it but you had gotten too nervous.  You loved Jackson.  You really did.  But the vibes were always off, and you were the type of person who liked to trust your gut about things like this.

A month ago, you’d gone over to his house to surprise him with some delicious cookies you’d just baked and a dvd rental for an impromptu date night, knowing he also had the night off.  You had a spare key to his place so you let yourself in and yelled out “I brought your favorites, Me, some cookies and a…” you were cut off by a loud moan.  Wondering if he was watching porn you, giggled.   It wasn’t the first time you’d walked in on him, you went to his room to swing open the door with a joking “Caught ya!”

You weren’t expecting the disgusting sight you saw.  You sure did catch him.  On his bed, balls deep in a cute skinny brunette wearing a cheerleaders outfit.  Your jaw dropped and you wished you could unsee what you were seeing.  He was positioned with her on top rocking her hips against him squealing with pleasure.  

The worst of it all, the memory that was still stuck in your head, was when he saw you standing there.  He looked right at you, no remorse on his face, no surprise, and he just shrugged.  Almost as if to say ‘what’d you expect’ . You ran out of the room, out of that house, dropping the cookies on the floor as you left, eyes burning and tears pouring down your face.  

That was the last time you’d seen him, and you never wanted to see him again.  It had broken you.  For about a week you were a complete mess, you called in sick to work, faking the flu and just sat in your room tearing up every picture of him.  Trying your hardest to tear apart every memory from your brain with them.  

Now it was easier to bear, but you couldn’t help feeling like if you had only put out...if you had only let him, maybe he wouldn’t have had to go get it from someone else.

“That’s bullshit, he’s just a pig and probably would’ve done it anyways.” Your best friend Ashley remarked as she pushed a large chip into her mouth.  You had just told her of that theory and she was not putting up with it.  “He wasn’t entitled to anything y/n. You should be grateful you didn’t sleep with that asshole”

You bent your head down, frowning, “I guess”

“You need a good rebound” she said, shoveling down more chips.

“I do not! And be careful. You are getting crumbs all over my bed” You whined.

This was a regular night for the two of you, laying in your bed binge watching your favorite tv shows together on the tv that hung on your bedroom wall.

“You may not think you do, but trust me, it would help! Just a nice guy to take your V card so you can finally let out some of that bottled up stress” She smirked, messily crunching a chip just to tick you off.

“So it’s good I didn’t have sex with the man I was with for years, but you approve of a one night stand?

Ashley turned to you, eyes narrowing, she put a hand on either side of your face and held you so you’d look her in the eye “Exactly! Jackson, was awful, what he did was awful.  I never liked him.  You’re too good for him.  But you have neglected that puss girl.  Find a nice guy, and fuck him, and you’ll feel better.”

Your eyes bugged out of your skull and you slapped her hands away “Puss?! Puss Ashley?? Really??” you were laughing so hard tears started to form in your eyes, and she rolled into you cracking up just as hard.

Once you’d just about peed your pants you calmed yourself down, wiping your tears from the corners of your eyes.

“Seokjin has a friend I could set you up with you know.  He just came back into town after being gone for a long time. ” she suggested in a serious tone.  You considered for a moment.  Her boyfriend Seokjin was a really nice guy, him and Ashley had been together almost a year now, and you’d never seen her more happy.  Yet, just because this guy was a friend of his didn’t insure that he would be a decent guy as well.  Plus the idea of going on a date just to ‘get some’ was so not your style.

You shrugged, “I just don’t think I’m ready Ash”

She sighed in defeat.  “I just don’t see the harm in trying”

You put your hands over your face and quietly groaned “Fine fine fine fine”

Her eyes lit up, “Really??” She immediately got out her phone and started texting.

“Shit Ash, right away?”

“Yep!” She grinned and set her phone back down on the bed.  “I just texted Jin to set it up with his friend.  I thought you guys would be cute together when I met him the other day. He’s quite the gentleman, and I think you guys will really hit it off”

“Great, can we watch the show now?” you groaned

Ashley cuddled up next to you to watch the tv, mouth pulled into a wide grin due to her victory.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You were in your bathroom putting the finishing touches on your hair and makeup before heading out.  Ashley had set the date up but didn’t tell you more than the guy’s name, she didn’t even let you see a picture of him.  “It’ll be more exciting that way! He hasn’t seen you either.  Just make sure you get him home after and take care of your little issue there” She had giggled and winked when telling you.

You had sighed and told her you still weren’t sure about it, and that you’d probably chicken out about the sex part.

But, you did think it was a good idea to go on a date and get out there again, you hadn’t fully gotten your ex off your mind and she was right that this might be a good distraction and way to get erase some of those feelings you were still clinging on to.

You had opted for a tight, short red dress with spaghetti straps that exposed your back quite a bit.  You figured that even if you decided not to try and have sex tonight it wouldn’t hurt to try and increase the chances that you could by wearing something appealing.

The taxi you had called takes you to the Italian restaurant you had been told to meet the man at.  Hoseok was his name, and besides Ash’s reassurances that he was a really nice guy, that was all you knew about him, you wondered if Ash had played up his niceness due to the fact that his looks were, in the nicest words...lacking.  Not that you were totally superficial but a pretty face definitely doesn’t hurt, especially if you end up following through with hooking up with him as Ashley insisted you should.  As you were walking into the restaurant you texted him to say you were there, he had gotten your number the night before from Seokjin so that you two could set up a time and place.  

Text From Hoseok: Hey, sorry I’m running a few minutes late, would you mind getting a table for us? I’ll be there soon

You got yourself seated at a table for two, informing the hostess another would be joining you soon.  You were brought waters and menus.  You were taking a large sip of water when a tall, jaw droppingly attractive man approached your table, “Are you Y/N?”  He asked, his voice deep and smooth.  Your eyes grew as wide as saucers at his breathtaking presence.  You almost spit all of the water you still held in your mouth onto the table, trying to save yourself from that embarrassment you swallowed it all in one big gulp, not helping save you from any embarrassment as that action caused you to start choking and coughing.

 You covered your mouth an nodded at him, appalled at yourself, for your less than ideal first impression.  

He seemed to be amused, settling himself down across from you at the table.  His dark black hair was parted down the center, wavy and styled perfectly, and he was dressed so stylishly with dark black jeans, a v neck shirt and a perfectly fitting burgundy jacket, unbuttoned.   You start to wonder whether he was a model.  You realized how much you were staring and thanked the gods that he was staring at his menu and not you.

“Have you ever been here before?” He breaks the silence and looks up at you with the corner of his mouth pulled into a slight smile.

You shook your head shyly.  

“Me either,” He replies “I do like pasta though, would you wanna each get two different ones and split them 50/50, I can’t make up my mind”

You nod at him slowly.  He’s acting so comfortable with you right away, and you can barely get yourself to form words.  You want to smack yourself in the forehead at your awkwardness with him.

He smiles “Great! We should try the shrimp alfredo, and the cream tomato and beef pasta if that sounds good to you?” He cutely cocked his head slightly to the side at his question, eyes making confident contact with yours.

You nod again, words still struggled to come out of your lips.

Hoseok chuckled “Are you always this quiet?”

“I-I’m sorry, no, I’m just nervous” You quietly managed to get out

“No need to be nervous sweetheart, you’re in good hands tonight” He winked.

You felt butterflies in your stomach, ‘sweetheart? he really isn’t shy’, you thought to yourself.

The waiter came over to the table and Hoseok ordered for you both, “And a glass of Merlot for the lady here,” he added at the end.  

“Wait what, why?” You stuttered

He laughed with a flirtatious smirk “Because, you need to loosen up a little sweetheart”

There was that sweetheart again, and the butterflies in your stomach to go with it.  

While you waited for your food Hoseok didn’t wait long to get in to asking you all about yourself, you answered most of his questions without stuttering over your words too much, telling him about your job, and your family. He listened intently to every answer, nodding his head paying full attention to every detail you gave.

Once the wine reached your table you eagerly grabbed it and chugged about half of it quickly.  Hoseok chuckled at you and shook his head. “Well that should help huh?” He lightly teased.

You managed a small smile “I’m so sorry, I’m not usually so awkward,”

He shrugged, “I think its cute”

Damn, he's not helping by saying things like that.  His charming flirty way of speaking was so effortless, contrasted by your awkward bumbling around so far you don’t see how he could possibly find it cute.  Yet, there was no hint of dishonestly in his voice.  

With one finger he slowly nudged your wine glass closer to you “Finish it” He ordered.

Taken aback by his boldness your eyes widen, but you can’t deny it really would help.  You take the glass to your lips drinking every last drop in the glass.  He smiled and nodded approvingly “Good girl,” He praised.  

You felt your heart flip flop in your chest at his praise.  Shyly looking down to the table.

“So,” you begin “Ashley said you were out of town for a long time and just got back,”

“Right,” He nodded “I was in New York, I stayed there to teach dance for a couple years”

“Wow! New York, that’s pretty far.  So you’re a dancer?”

The rest of the dinner was a lot more relaxed with you both exchanging personal details of your life.  You at one point when he was busy eating snuck a text under the table to Ashley

‘THANKS for not warning me how hot the guy you were setting me up with is.  I literally choked on my water when he walked up to the table’

Her reply was almost instant as if she’d been waiting for some sort of update from you on how it was going ‘Get some’ was all she said.  You rolled your eyes.

“Something up?” Hoseok said curiously, bringing his water to his lips.

“Oh no, just Ashley, checking up on me.  She’s nosy” you muttered.

Hoseok chuckled “She seems great, When I first met her she couldn’t stop talking about you and how much I’d like you if I met you”

“What?” you gasped slightly mortified. “Ugh, like I said she's really nosy, I’m sorry if she pushed you into this”

“Nobody pushes me into anything” He stated firmly “For the record I’m really glad I came, hopefully you are too?” He raised an eyebrow

“Yeah, I am” you smiled shyly at the charming man sitting across from you, his confidence never fading throughout any interaction between the two of you.  You were quite fond of everything about him, his looks and his never faltering aura of relaxedness.

When dinner was over he paid, which you tried to insist he didn’t need to.

“Nonsense” He cut off your reasonings for why you should pay for your half, and slipped his card to the waiter before you could do anything about it.

“Thank you”

“Of course, what kind of man would I be if I didn’t pay for my beautiful date’s meal on our first date”

You blushed at the endearment from him.  Getting up from the table he helped you put your coat that you had brought with you on, holding it while you turned back facing him and put and arm in each sleeve.  

“Shall I walk you to your car?” He offered

“I uh, actually took a taxi here, I forgot to call one to pick me up but I’ll do that now and it shouldn't take more than 20 minutes to get here”

He frowned and shook his head, “No, I’ll drive you home”

“You really don’t have to, I live kinda far from here”

“Which is exactly why I would be a total jerk if I let you pay for another long taxi ride home”

You could tell no wasn’t going to be an answer, and honestly spending more time with him wasn’t a bad idea.  You had decided half way through the meal you weren’t going to try and bring him home, you were already too nervous just talking to him, you couldn’t even imagine how bad you’d be in bed right now.  But the thought still intrigued you, the way his lips looked so soft and welcoming, the way his jacked was unbuttoned in a way that let you see the tight shirt clinging to his muscular chest made your core ache in a way you’d never felt before.

As he drove you home the two of you engaged in more small talk, though you weren’t totally attentive the whole time, your mind still distracted by impure thoughts of the man sitting next to you.  

Once reaching your apartment complex, with a hand on the car door, you turned to say goodbye and were met with his hungry eyes.  He was staring at your lips not letting his eyes leave your face. You could feel your heart pounding loudly in your chest.  He slowly leaned in towards you getting only inches from your face, waiting for your permission to lay his lips on yours. ‘Fuck it’ you thought.  You granted him what he was craving because oh how you were craving it too.  

Lunging forward into the kiss and grabbing the back of his neck you as you did.  The kisses were fast and sloppy like two people who were starved.  “Oh my god y/n” He gasped into your mouth “please” he groaned, lips meeting yours again and his tongue starting to lightly flick your bottom lip before pulling away slightly “will you…” he plants a few more quick sloppy kisses on you, then through his pants you could hear... “please, will you invite me to come in with you?”

You hesitated, not because you didn’t want to invite him in, but because you couldn’t believe this was happening, it felt surreal that this godlike man was begging YOU to invite him to your place.  You managed a small nod of your head.  He let out a soft growl planting one last kiss on your lips before pulling into a parking space quickly, and rushing to your side of the car to open the door for you.

It felt like time was moving too slowly as you hand in hand led him to your apartment.  The key couldn’t turn in the lock fast enough, as you felt you would die of anticipation.  This was it, this was the night you would finally lose your virginity, and to HIM?  

Once inside he mumbled “You live alone?” and you confirmed yes you live alone.  Instantly he grabbed you by your waist, pressing every inch of his body against yours, his breathing strained and his eyes lustful as he trailed kisses down your neck and to the top of your chest where the fabric of your dress still hung over your breasts.  He took one of the straps from your dress and slid it down off your shoulder, pleased to see you hadn’t been wearing a bra (As the dress had a built in one, you silently thanked yourself for choosing this attire)  he groaned as he slipped the other strap off of your shoulder as well, giving him full view of your tits.  

“Wow,” he breathed heavily “So perfect” and he cupped one in his hand while bringing his face to the other to plant kisses and then to take your erect bud into his mouth, flicking his tongue against you eliciting a soft moan from your lips, while you ran your hands through his hair as he sucked and teased. He dropped to his knees, pulling your dress down further, now kissing your stomach with soft but needy kisses. He glanced up at you to see your eyes closed and head tilted back in ecstasy.  He smirked and planted another kiss right below your belly button, proud of the state you’re in, proud that he was making you feel that way.  

Hoseok slipped your dress down all the way, leaving you naked and exposed besides the lace black panties still clinging to the part of your body that was so needy for his touch.

He played with the hem of the panties, teasing you until you groaned a “Hoseok, please” At that he gently pressed a finger to your clit over the fabric and slowly drew circles, you let out a soft squeak at the sudden wave of pleasure flooding your body.

Hoseok then suddenly and harshely grabbed the panties and yanked them down to your ankles as if they were offending him, angry that they were in his way.  He smirked up at you only for a split second before diving in to your soaking core.  You could barely stay standing, your knees feeling weak as his tounge playfully licked you, flicking over your clit while he held you from behind your thighs.

“H-Hoseok” you whined,  He continued to hungrily lap up every last bit of wetness that you were giving to him.  Your hands holding his head to you gently, feeling yourself already approaching your high.

Jackson had done this for you once or twice, but never this good, you actually faked your orgasm with him one of the times just to get him to stop.  But this, you never wanted it to stop.

Hoseok could feel you approaching your finnish and he sped up his tongue, the quick figure eight movements to your clit were going to be your undoing.  

“That's it baby, come for me” he muttered into you quickly and sped up even faster than you’d thought was possible.  

“H-hoseok, I-I’m gonna, I’m…” A wave of pleasure crashed around you, you gripped his hair roughly as that lethal tongue continued it’s pace.  You couldn’t help but scream out at the feeling.  He didn’t stop until he was sure you had rode out your high, he then slowed his pace until finally bringing his lips away from you and planting one last kiss to your folds before standing up to face you.

He started to unzip his pants “I’m gonna wreck you princess, you don’t know what you’ve gotten yourself into now” He smirked darkly.  “You gonna be a good little slut for me? Take my cock in that pussy and obey my every word. I couldn’t stop myself from wanting to taste you even though I don’t think you deserved it for wearing such a revealing dress, teasing me the whole dinner.  I wanted to take you from the minute I saw you and I bet every guy in that restaurant did too. I should punish you for that,  Unfortunately I didn’t bring my paddle, I’ll have to make do with what I’ve got here. Better come up with a safeword sweetheart” His face dark and serious as he continued to undress himself.  Your eyes were wide with shock, no one had ever spoken to you like that before, he was right, you didn’t understand what you’d gotten into.  It kind of scared you, and you realized you should inform him that this was your first time...and that you really didn’t even understand this game he wanted to play with you.  It seemed to be a turn on for him to want to punish you, to want to be rough with you.  He wanted a safeword? You didn’t even know what that meant.  You felt embarrassed of your inexperience, part of you didn’t want to tell him, but you also knew he’d probably realize it pretty quickly.

He roughly grabbed your waist about to lead you to the couch and was opening his mouth to to speak, something filthy again you guessed, when you cut him off with “I’m a virgin!” oh shit, you just blurted it, no set up, no beating around the bush.  Not exactly how you meant to say that but you figured maybe he’d just say okay and you’d continue on your merry way to lovemaking.  

However that was not the case.  Hoseok instantly froze. “What” he said softly in monotone.  

“I-I’ve never had sex before, I just figured that was important to know before we...ya know, I didn’t mean to ruin the mood lets just go back to…”

But he was already pulling his pants back up over his now fading erection, zipping them up and shaking his head the whole time.  “I misread this situation, I’m not doing this” He said with some rage in his tone.  “You should’ve said that sooner” He snapped.

“I’m sorry” You stuttered, tears starting to form, mortified at his reaction.

He quickly gathered himself and without even so much as a goodbye was out the door, slamming it on his way out, and that was it, he was gone.  

You stood in shock, not wanting to chase after him after that harsh rejection you’d just recieved.  The tears forming in your eyes were now rolling down your face.  You’d blown it, maybe you shouldn’t have told him.  When you said it, he looked at you with such disgust, it was the most humiliating feeling you’d ever experienced.  There he was, worshiping you between your legs one moment, to glaring at you and rushing out the door like you had the plague the next.  

You ran to your room and collapsed into your bed sobbing into your pillow, still as naked and exposed as he’d left you when he stormed out the door.  You inner thighs still wet with the lingering reminder of the beautiful gift he’d given you. Your sobs grew louder the more you thought on it, everything was going so well, the whole night was perfect and you ruined it.  How could you get your heartbroken by a guy because you wouldn't have sex with him, only to get your heart broken by the next because you hadn’t had sex and wanted to with him.  

Your cries continued all the way until you drifted into sleep.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“HE WHAT?” Ash’s appalled voice screamed into the phone, you had to pull it away from your ear.  

“Yeah...It was going well, but after I told him...It just all went wrong” You said somberly

“I’m gonna kill him if I see him again.  To just leave like that without a goodbye? Without an explanation, especially after you guys had already gotten pretty hot and heavy together.  I can’t believe anyone would have the nerve to do that. Y/N I’m so sorry, I wouldn’t have set you up if I knew he was going to act like such a douche about it.  I’ve heard he was a player but also quite the gentleman so I figured a guy like him would be perfect to take your V card and -SEOKJIN WE NEED TO TALK-” She interrupted her own thought to presumably scream at her probably now terrified boyfriend who had just come in the door to their shared apartment.

“Wait, Ash.  You literally set me up on this date with a player, just for a fuck? What is wrong with you?!” You yelled shocked

“Oh come on, y/n.  It wasn’t like you’re thinking.  I mean yeah I knew he probably wasn’t the type for dating, but he seemed like such a nice guy, and what you needed to get your mind off of Jackson wasn’t a new boyfriend”

You groaned loudly “Ash. I love you. But don’t do that again, and I think this is a perfect example of why not”

“Yeah, I really am sorry, do you need me to come over?” She quietly replied apologetically.

“That’d be nice, bring some ice cream.”

“Okay, I just need to tell Seokjin that his friend is a douchebag real quick and I’ll be right over”

You rolled your eyes, even though she couldn’t see. “Please spare him the details of this. I’d rather my embarrassing night not be the talk of the town.”

“Uhh okay” She answered with a tone you could tell meant she most definitely was going to give every detail to her boyfriend, and probably yell at him about Hoseok as if it was his fault too somehow just by association with the offender in question.

----------------------------------------------------------

When Ashley came over in about an hour you vented, ate icecream and got many hugs and reassurances.  As a pleasant surprise she’d also brought over tons of wine, you both had proceeded to drink almost all of it.  

“Yoush” *hiccup* “You should tell him, that he is a rude” *hiccup* “Rude scumbag, with a trash dick, and you hope it falls off” Ashley drunkenly slurred.

You giggled, equally as drunk as your friend “Ashhhh, I didn’t even see his dick”

“Well tell him that…” She thought hard with her hand to her chin “That he is bad at eating pussy and you thought of someone else the whole time”

“Yikes Ash,” you laughed, Taking another sip of wine.  “How about I just don’t talk to him ever again and lets leave it at that”

But in your drunken haze, before you had even realized what was happening, you saw Ash typing on her phone, wait, not her phone, your phone! “Ash wait no! What are you doing!”

She giggled maniacally and said “SENT” while holding her stomach and falling over with laughter.

You quickly grabbed the phone to assess the damage.

Hey hoseok, y/n here. Just wanted to say that you are a giant douchbag, and a coward. Thanks for leaving without an explaination, doucheee, -much hate, y/n

“ASH WHY” you yelled hitting her in the shoulder, quickly putting your fingers to your keyboard to try and undo what she had done

I’m really sorry, That was Ash not me. You don’t owe me an explanation.  We can just never speak about this or anything ever again.

“Why do you make things worse” You groaned at Ashley after pressing send, hoping Hoseok would just ignore the messages.

*Ding* your phone chimed.  Your stomach dropped. “Oh shit. I don’t wanna read it” you whined

Ashley took the phone and read aloud “Y/N.  I’m very sorry I left in a rush last night, I’m sorry if that hurt you, if you really want an explanation we can meet tomorrow at the coffee shop on the corner of 2nd Street at 2:00.” Ashley looked annoyed “He's really gonna try and meet up after that? What the hell is wrong with him. Don’t go y/n,”  

You nodded as if to agree with her. But your mind was racing.  He wanted to meet again, maybe you hadn’t totally blown it, maybe he had a really good reason, maybe he just ended up not feeling well, maybe he’d want to try again.  You thought hopefully, only to frown, realizing you were probably fooling yourself.  If he didn’t want you then, he wouldn’t want you now.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the next day, and there you were, wearing a cute short skirt and tight fitting top, waiting at the coffee shop at 2:00.  Despite Ash’s warnings that you were setting yourself up for more hurt you couldn’t help but be curious at the excuse Hoseok was going to try to use to explain his odd behavior two nights ago.

When he walked into the shop he was just as breathtaking at the first time you’d seen him.  He was wearing gray sweatpants and a black pullover hoodie, a black beanie hanging off of his lazily styled black hair.  It was such a simple lazy look, yet he pulled it off like he was a supermodel.  It was so unfair. Just two nights ago that perfect face was buried between your legs, and seeing him now just reminded you that you’d never get to feel that heaven he’d given to you ever again.  He’d rejected you after giving you the best night you’d ever had, turning it into one of the worst you’d ever had, surprisingly maybe a close second to walking in on your ex fucking another woman.

Hoseok sat down at the table after grabbing a coffee from the counter.  He actually seemed shyer compared to the smooth talking Hoseok the first time you’d met him.  He held his coffee cup with both hands, staring down at it awkwardly.  

“Hi.” He spoke.

“Hello” you returned.

More silence.

“So…” you began, watching him as he fiddled with the lid of his cup avoiding your eyes.

“So…” he repeated after you quietly. “I should explain huh” his gaze finally lifted up to yours.  His dark eyes looking tired and lifeless. He sighed

“First, I’m sorry” he winced like that was hard for him to say, “You see, the thing is.  I like to have sex a certain type of way…” He paused. “I’m what you would call a dom, and I’m a pretty intense one, I’m assuming you don’t know what that is.   Some of the main things that means is that I like to hurt, inflict pain, or deny a woman of her orgasm over and over until shes screaming for it, it’s what I get off on and it’s the only way I have sex.  The women I have sex with are subs, and I usually have a really good eye for when someone is one.  I thought” He took a deep breath in “It seems I mistook your shy innocence for that, rather than being a virgin, I thought you were the type of girl that I usually participate in those acts with, and I thought you realized thats how I was as well.  But when you told me you were a virgin, it hit me like a ton of bricks how mistaken I was.  I would never do what I do to other girls to a virgin, you would never want your first time to be with someone like me” his voice trailed off and he hung his head looking down to the table.  “I had to leave quickly, because I was scared that even after knowing what you were...I wasn’t going to be able to hold myself back.  I was really worked up, and you were,” he stopped and looked up at you again, eyes trailing over you, a hint of the hunger from the other night showing on his face “you are, one of the most beautiful women I’ve ever seen in my life” He groaned “It’s not fair,  I got a taste, but I can’t have you”

Finally he paused long enough for you to get a word in.  “oh…I guess I get it.  But, maybe I’d like those things you do”

“Y/N, you don’t know what you’re saying.  You don’t even know the things I wanted, and still want to do to you” his voice strained as he spoke.

“You’re right, I don’t know, but I don’t need to be babied, I can learn, I can at least try right?”

Hoseok shook his head sternly “No, I’m not going to.  You deserve to have your first time to be with someone who cares about you, who will treat you gently and take his time, someone who wouldn’t just think of you like a sex toy.”

A sex toy? So is that how he saw you, is that how he views women?  Upon noticing your appalled face he points at you

“See.  This is what I mean.  If you can’t even handle me saying stuff like that you aren’t ready.  I wouldn’t treat you kindly.  Me eating you out was...different, I actually don’t know why I did that without getting into my dom persona yet. But I assure you that you don’t deserve to be treated the way I treat women.  I can tell you are a good person, a kind woman, someone who deserves anything but this” he gestured to himself.

Your face scrunched and you pouted very obviously. He sighed and shook his head, he bit his lip as if trying to hold back from something.  

“I’ve said all I came here to say, you deserve an explanation.  You didn’t do anything wrong, its me.  I’m not ashamed of who I am or what I enjoy, but I have a rule of not participating in what I do with women who have no experience with it, let alone someone who has no experience with sex at all.  First of all because I don’t particularly enjoy teaching new subs, and secondly because you may think you’re ready for it, But I can tell you aren’t, and I’m so bad at holding back”  he almost moaned that last part.  It was evident that he still was very attracted to you, why or how you couldn’t quite understand, you’d never thought of yourself as the type of girl guys thought of as irresistible.  But Hoseok looked at you like all he wanted was to pick up right where he left off right here in the coffee shop.  

“I still think that you’re being a bit ridiculous, how do you know what I can and can’t handle” you shot out.

He stayed staring at you like he was a lion ready to pounce on his prey, “As a dom part of my role is to know what my subs can and can’t handle.  And you.” He shook his head disappointedly “You can’t handle this.  I’m afraid this is the last we’ll see of eachother y/n” He immediately stood up, walking over to you and planting a kiss on your cheek.  “I really am sorry, I hope you find someone who can treat you how you deserve” He said wincing at that thought, the thought of someone else being the one to lay in bed with you.

He sped out of the shop parking lot faster than legal, angry at himself for putting himself in such a tempting position with you.  Angry at himself for feeling a feeling he swore he’d long forgotten, jealousy was an emotion that had long been out of his list of things he’d felt.  It’d been many years since the thought of someone else with the woman he wanted made his blood boil like this.  He was used to one night stands, and if he happened to see the girl he’d slept with the night before at the same club the next night, with a different man, he felt nothing.  Mostly because he was already on the search for someone new himself.  In fact, meeting you at the coffee shop was the first time in forever that he could remember meeting with a woman he had been intimate with for a second time without it just being for another round of sex and nothing more.  He shook his head as he gripped the steering wheel so tight his knuckles were turning white.  It would fade, he’d forget you just like all the others, he told himself.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

It’d been two weeks now after being rejected by Hoseok for the second time.  You were getting dressed to head over to Ashley and Jin’s place for a party they were throwing.  Ashley was quite the social butterfly and loved throwing these large parties with drinking and dancing and the works.  You always felt slightly out of place but liked to go anyways.  

You slipped on a black skirt and tight blue shirt that you felt made your tits look incredible, then made your way to the taxi and finally arrived at Ash’s place.

You’d gotten there about an hour after the party had started, upon walking into the large space where many people were gathered you saw most seemed already many drinks in.  Loud music blaring from some speakers in the corner of the room playing some generic dance music you couldn’t help but bob your head to.

“Hey!” A voice yelled from across the room.  Ash ran over to you throwing her arms around your shoulders.  “Let's get you a drink” She grinned, obviously a few in already herself.

As you made your way to the drinks table a figure dancing in the center of the room caught your eye.  Damnit.  Why was he here.

Hoseok was dancing enthusiastically to the song playing, a tall blonde that looked like she walked straight out of a playboy magazine was pressed against him.  Her back to him and ass grinding against his front while he had his hands on her hips moving her to the music smoothly.

He happened to look up from her for just long enough to see you staring.  Shit. You thought, not wanting to make things awkward you wanted to look away, but you just couldn’t seem to.  You couldn’t help but wonder if that girl was one of those sub types he had been talking about.  Would she be giving him exactly what he wanted later tonight? The thing that he didn’t seem to think you could give…

What he did next was far too reminiscent of your least favorite memory with your ex.  Hoseok did a simple shrug and a smirk your way.  

Your blood was boiling and your eyes must’ve shown how much you didn’t appreciate that gesture since Hoseok made a ‘yikes’ face and went back to focusing on the playboy bunny looking girl in front of him.

“Earth to y/n” Ash waved a hand that was cupping a drink in your view.  You quickly grabbed it and chugged it down instantly handing it back to Ashley implying you were ready for another.

“Damn girl” She giggled “Okay, I get it, it's that kind of night”

She promptly got you another drink.  You were ready to get wasted, hoping to forget that Hoseok was here.  It hurt enough to be rejected by him, but why did he have to parade himself around in all his perfection.  You felt insignificant, your inexperience in sex drove him away.

After some dancing and a few more drinks your inhibitions had been sufficiently driven away.  You couldn’t help yourself from glancing Hoseok’s way every once in a while.   No matter how hard you were trying to just enjoy hanging out with Ashley, thoughts of him kept intruding.

When you looked this time he was on his own, his dance partner must’ve left to get a drink or gone to the bathroom.  Ashley was facing away from you dancing against Jin.

Not fully in control of your feet or your actions, you found yourself strutting over to him.  You grabbed his arm “Come here” you said angrily and dragged him into the kitchen.  His eyebrows raised in amusement, not used to anyone being this forward with him of all people.  

You let him go and he instantly crossed his arms.  “Little girl you’d better explain yourself.” he growled, yet the look of amusement hadn’t quite left his face.

You huffed, too drunk to think over your words before they spilled out “You know something.  I am quite offended that you think I’m not someone who could handle you.  Like all this-” you motioned up and down to all of him “-is some kind of special prize that I’d have gotten to have if only I was some kind of floozy or something like that” you slurred

He let out an unrestrained laugh at your words. “Holyshit you’re smashed. Okay um I-”

You cut him off “No. I don’t even want to hear it.  I wasn’t trying to say I still wanted you or something.  I’m just saying what gives you the right to act like you know me so well after one date. One and a half maybe if you count the second time you rejected me” you pouted. “Anyways, my point here is, I was thinking about what you said about me needing to lose it with someone I cared about.  And I think that's bullshit.  You don’t get an opinion on who I lose my virginity to, or how they feel about me.  You think you’re saving me or something by not being my first.  So I’m here to inform you that I’m going to go have sex. Tonight.  With some random guy out there” you whipped your arm out and pointed out to the party, losing your balance as you did and almost falling over.  “And I don’t give a shit if he cares about me or not.”

You couldn’t quite tell what was going through Hoseok’s mind.  His face had turned from amused to blank and emotionless.  You didn’t wait around for him to respond and stumbled back out to join the rest of the party.

You scanned the room for a suitable candidate and your eyes landed on an attractive man standing alone against one of the walls.  You wandered over to him

“Wanna dance” you said in your best flirtatious voice.

 The man grinned widely and excitedly pulled himself from the wall and nodded.  You grabbed his hand and pulled him out into the center of the crowd of other dancing party goers.  You instantly pressed your back against his chest and started pressing your backside into his hips, rolling them smoothly to the beat of the music the same way you’d watched the girl do with Hoseok.

“What’s your name?” he spoke into your ear, then pulled back your hair so he could softly brush his lips against your neck.

“I’m y/n. You?” you smiled softly turning your head as much as you could to face him from your position giving flirtatious doe eyes and batting your eyelashes at him.

 “Taehyung” he murmured into your ear, a soft groan only audible to you left his lips and his hands gripped your sides hard moving with them as they pressed against his now growing boner.  After dancing for a couple minutes like that you spun around to face him.  Your hands draped loosely over his shoulders, you leaned into his ear “I know a place we can go to be alone” you whispered.  

“Fuck” he inhaled sharply “Yeah, lets go” he nodded

You walked clumsily, leading him towards the halway you knew led to Ash’s guest room.  You figured she wouldn’t mind, especially since she was the one who had pushed for you to lose your V card so much.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” A voice yelled from behind you.  You whipped your head around to see Hoseok seething, standing tall and staring directly at Taehyung.

 “You’re really gonna go in there and fuck a girl who’s that drunk? That’s the type of creep you are?” He shouted at the man who you had invited into the spare room with you.   

“What the fuck man, she asked me” Taehyung spat back, putting up his hands defensively, slightly embarrassed about the scene that was being caused.

“And you feel good about that huh?” Hoseok growled, shoving the shoulder of other man hard causing him to stumble back a few steps.

“Hoseok!” You were in shock at his actions towards Taehyung.  “Hoseok, there's no fucking problem here.  I’m consenting okay.”

“Yeah man, you can step the fuck back” Taehyung hissed putting an arm around your shoulders as if to show Hoseok that he was more than allowed to be with you.  

Hoseok’s hands were balled into fists, his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes narrowed.  He shook his head and let out a low somewhat menacing chuckle.  In one swift stroke before you could even registar what was happening, Hoseok had picked you up and thrown you over his shoulder.  He walked away quickly carrying you out the door of Ash and Jin’s house.  

You started hitting your fists onto his back in protest and you could faintly hear a “What the hell man” from Taehyung as you were carried further away from the party.

Once you had reached his car Hoseok plopped you down, still holding on to you by one of your wrists he opened the passenger seat door. “In.” he commanded sternly.

“No way!” you objected “You’re acting like a psycho right now”

He tensed up at your comment, the vein in his neck throbbing “Now.” he spoke through clenched teeth.

Not wanting to escalate his anger any further you decided to give in and get in his car.  

He slammed the door after you entered and rushed to the drivers side, also slamming his own door as he sat down.

“You.” he started, shaking his head “What were you thinking”

“I think I already told you what I was thinking, remember our talk in the kitchen”

“Our talk huh” he scoffed, running his fingers through his hair in an aggressive manner.  “You mean when you pulled me in there to go off on me and didn’t even wait around for me to get a word in” he glared at you.

You started nervously pulling at your fingers in your lap.

Hoseok put the keys in the ignition and started to back out of the spot he was parked in.

“I’m taking you home” he muttered

“Are you okay to drive? We were kinda just at a party”

He rolled his eyes at you “I didn’t drink, I don’t really drink”

You now remember your date with him, he ordered you a wine but nothing besides water for himself.  You wonder why you thought he was just as drunk as you tonight.  You groaned to yourself, you’re a drunk mess currently and he's completely sober to witness it all.  You shouldn’t care, you’re overwhelmed with anger because of his actions and the fact that he for lack of a better term ‘cockblocked’ you.

You were silent the whole way home as was he.  Surprisingly he remembered exactly where you lived and didn’t ask for directions once.  

As he pulled up to your apartment complex you decided to one last time give him a piece of your mind.  

“You know I was fine right? I don’t see why it even matters to you if I sleep with someone. You totally cockblocked me and embarrassed that poor guy at the party.  He was nice.”  You glared at Hoseok.

He put the car in park and shook his head, “You’d regret it if you were this drunk for your first time”

“Again, I don’t see why that matters to you, or why you think it's any of your business anyways” you huffed.  

He didn’t look at you, staring at his steering wheel with a serious expression.  

His silence only irritated you more, “This is a decision that should be up to me.  I’m grown woman who can make her own damn choices”

He scoffed, still not turning his head to you, “Obviously you can’t because you were about to make a horrible choice”

You felt your face growing red with rage.  “Thats. Not. For. You. To. Say” you enunciated clearly, not really sure how better to get this point across to him.  He rejected you, he wasn’t your boyfriend or even your friend for that matter.  

He sighed and finally turned to make eye contact with you, his expression was softer than it had been since dragging you out of Ashley’s house.  “Look.  When I lost my virginity…” He winced at the memory “It was awful, I mean not the act itself, but it was with a woman who couldn’t have cared less about me.  I was in love with her, the only woman I’ve ever loved…” he trailed off and paused for a while.

You sat in silence waiting for him to finish explaining himself.

“She was my older brothers girlfriend.  I’d always loved her.  Sometimes she’d come over to our house even though she knew my brother wasn’t home.  I didn’t want to do anything to betray my brother, even though she begged.  One day I caved in and I let her kiss me. After that she just kept wanting more, I tried to tell her how awful it made me feel and that I would never go all the way with her.  Eventually she ended up getting me so drunk I could barely function, and she told me she was going to leave him for me if I slept with her.  I was so taken by the love I had for her that I believed her.  I barely even remember what happened I was so wasted.  But I do remember how right after we were done she laughed.  She never planned on leaving my brother, she was an awful person” he shook his head, it seemed he was almost tearing up. “My brother ended up coming home while all this was happening.  He saw me with her.  And she told him…” Hoseok took a deep breath “She told him that I forced myself on her, that I was drunk and threatened her. I still don’t talk to my brother, he never believed me.  They are married now.  And its for that exact reason I don’t trust anyone.  People are liars. And love is a lie.” He spat the last sentence out with a cold expression.

Your eyes widened.  You couldn’t believe how much Hoseok had just opened up to you.  It made it hard to be angry with him anymore in this moment.  

“I-I’m sorry that happened to you” you stuttered

He shrugged his shoulders and stared out the windshield of his car. “It’s the past.  But sometimes it does still bother me.  I swore I’d never fall in love again.  And that I’d never let someone fall in love with me.  I would never let myself do what she did, taking someones virginity and tossing them aside like that.”

“Hoseok...I” you pursed your lips and debated on whether what you were about to say was too insensitive. “I’m sorry, but you do realize just because that's your story doesn’t mean that would be mine right?  Or anyone else's if they fell in love, or lost their virginity.  I’m not being tricked or deceived, and I wouldn't be broken hearted or anything if it was just a one time thing.  I get that it meant a lot to you, but I still don’t think that really gives you an excuse to tell other people what it should mean to them”

He snapped his head to you, jaw dropping at your words.  “You know you’re really dense. Don’t act like you know what you’re talking about” he hissed.

Your eyes narrowed and you immediately started getting out of his car.  “No, you’re the dense one Hoseok.  We all have sob stories in life.  Not everyone lets it ruin them for anyone else.  I’m going to lose my virginity one way or another and I’d appreciate if you stop trying to make it your business” and on that note you slammed the car door on him and rushed in to your apartment.  Leaving him to think on what you’d just said.

It honestly baffled you that because of something that happened to him he felt entitled to an opinion on your life, you wanted to show him that he was wrong.  That just because he had loved once and it went poorly didn’t mean that love was wrong.  That just because he lost his virginity and it went badly didn’t mean that everyone who is a virgin was so sensitive about how their first time went.  At this point in your life it didn’t need it to be special, you didn’t even need it to mean anything at all.  

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night when Hoseok got back to his house he was fuming.  He knew he shouldn’t have done what he did.  You made him lose all common sense.  He was usually calm and collected, things like this didn’t get to him. He angrily tossed his keys on to his kitchen counter and stomped into his bedroom, throwing himself onto his bed and staring at the ceiling.  He knew you were right, just because he felt how he did about first times being important and special didn’t mean that anyone else had to feel that way.  He’d never pushed his opinions on someone else like that before.  But with you, it was different.  It was different because he wanted so badly for it to be him, and he hated himself for that.  He knew what type of person he was, fuck em’ then leave before they woke up in the morning type of guy.  What if you did end up liking him afterwards, that was a chance he didn’t want to take.  In his mind he was incapable of ever returning that type of feeling to anyone.  He’d never loved since that day.  

He put his hands to his face dragging them down in frustration.  He was slightly embarrassed that he’d told you about all of that, he didn’t even know why he did, he’d never told anyone about that.

What were you doing to him?  

He pulled his phone out, maybe just getting off and going to bed was all he needed to reset and pretend today didn’t happen.  He pulled up his usual genre of porn, something sub/dom related where the guy had the girl tied up and was using a vibrator on her, teasing her over and over not letting her reach her orgasm, grinning each time he deprived her of her high.  Something Hoseok had done many times with his one night stands.  

He unbuttoned his pants slipping them off and reaching his hand inside his boxers, palming his cock to warm himself up.  

Once he was hard he wrapped his hand tightly around the base of his length, slowly stroking up and down as he watched the girl in the video begging her dom to let her cum.  He loved to hear his subs beg for him.  He closed his eyes for a moment to just listen to the whining of the girl in the video, and ended up picturing you whining, tied up and begging for him, pleading for him to make you cum.  He remembered watching you cum that first night, your moans and your beautiful body.  He pumped his cock faster at that thought tossing his head back as he got closer to cumming.  He pictured you kissing him as he fingered you, moaning into his lips.  This was something usually too vanilla for him to get off on, but when he imagined it was you, somehow it was the most erotic thing he’d ever felt.  He lifted his hips slightly off the bed and moaned loudly as he reached his finnish.  His legs were slightly shaking, he wiped a bit of sweat from his forehead with his non messy hand and took a few deep breaths.  

As great as it was. He was disappointed in how that all just went. He had thought he could get his mind off of you by watching porn, but all he could think about was you.  He’d never fantasized about someone like that before, not the way that he just did now…

He took a shower and cleaned himself up.  After returning to his bed he let out a long sigh.  

Love is a lie.  Love is a lie.  Love is a lie.  A voice in his head repeated itself.

It was somewhat of a mantra of his.  And it was an easy lifestyle to stick to, most subs didn’t want anything more than sex for the night and were quick to move on to the next dom.  On the occasion where one got attached Hoseok was quick to cut ties and avoid her, it was so annoying when that happened.

Yet, why did a part of him want to keep seeing you...want to have you again and again and again.   You were driving him crazy, making him second guess everything he stood for when it came to women.  Was he starting to change his mind about letting himself have actually feelings for someone?

No.  He couldn’t.  Because if those feelings ever changed and he broke your heart, the heart of a girl who had lost her virginity to him, as his brother’s wife had done to him...he’d never be able to forgive himself.  

-----------------------------------

The next day Hoseok texted Jin and asked him to meet up at a bar that was down the road from where he lived.

When Hoseok arrived Jin was already sat down with a tall beer in front of him.  He sat down beside his friend and flagged down the bartender.  “Whiskey please.”

Seokjin’s eyes widened.  “You sure? I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you drink anything but water!”

Hoseok nodded “I’m sure.  I need it for what I want to talk to you about”

After getting a few drinks in and having some small talk about how things were going with Jin and Ashley’s relationship, Hoseok decided to finally go to the subject he had wanted to meet up to discuss.  He told Jin about the feelings he was having about you, he didn’t quite get in to as much detail about his past as he had with you, mostly summarizing it into, ‘It just went badly when I lost mine’

Jin knew that his friend was a regular player, he’d never seen him out with the same girl twice so a lot of this was no surprise to him.  

“So you’re just scared.” Jin said

“Scared?” Hoseok scrunched his eyebrows in thought.  “I guess you could say that.”

“Hoseok I know y/n a bit, she's over at our place quite a lot.  Ashley has told me a lot about her.  I don’t know if it’s really my place to say this but I’m going to anyways.  Y/n has had her fair share of her own heartbreaks.  She was cheated on by basically the only guy she had ever been with.  Walked in on the whole thing and all that.  She was hurt but she honestly seemed to handle it well, she's a strong person.  So I think if your concern here is that just because she's a virgin that you’d be the first one to break her heart or something you’ve been beat to it.” he shrugged “But I think the bigger thing here is that you’re scared she’ll hurt you”

“What?” Hoseok looked confused at his friend

“It sounds like someone hurt you, and now to prevent that from ever happening again you’ve shut yourself off from ever getting close to letting that happen again.  I kinda get it.  Love can be scary, I don't know how I’d handle it if Ash ever broke my heart.  But those are chances you have to take, cuz if you don’t you could be missing out on the best decision of your life man.”

Hoseok thought hard about what his friend just said.  Maybe he was right.  He was scared.  This was terrifying.  The idea of either you or him getting hurt by getting involved with each other seemed too big of a risk to take.  At the same time, like Jin said, what if the risk paid off, what if for the first time in his life Hoseok could actually fall in love with someone who returned those feelings? Was it too late now?  The last time you saw him you were so mad at him.

Tomorrow he would tell you.  Tomorrow he would confess these feelings eating him up inside.

---------------------------------------

You were laying in bed watching your favorite drama, covers pulled up over your chest when you heard your doorbell ring.  It was late in the evening and usually if Ash was coming over she’d text first.

You pulled a t-shirt on over your bare chest and grabbed some loose fitting pajama shorts putting them on as you walked to the door.  You glanced through the peephole of your door to inspect the unexpected visitor.  Hoseok? You debated on pretending not to be home but decided to see what he could possibly want.

You swung the door open with a sour “What.”

His face showed he was slightly taken aback by your attitude.  Though you weren’t sure what he expected when the last time you saw him you were slamming a car door in his face.

“I- Can I come in?” he stuttered nervously.

“I guess…” You muttered.  He was acting so strange you weren’t sure if you should but decided it couldn’t hurt to see what was up with him.

He slowly stepped in, he took off the raincoat he had been wearing and held it in his hand.  He was wearing grey sweatpants and a white t-shirt, his hair seemed wet from the apparent weather you were unaware of.  You couldn’t help but take note of how handsome he looked like that, his wet hair sticking to his forehead in the most attractive way.  You tried not to let it take away from the annoyance you were feeling.

You stood with your arms crossed facing him.  “Okay...so?”

He inhaled deeply “I like you. A lot. Like...A lot. Shit um.  First I should say I’m sorry, I know you’re mad at me for the other night.  I was wrong, I just, I couldn’t bear to see you with anyone, but me” he said softly.  You were shocked and confused, you let his words hang in the air for a long time before responding.

“I don’t understand.  I thought you didn’t think of people that way, as like...your way of life or something” you slowly spoke

“I dont...I mean I didn’t. This is new, and I don’t really even know why.” He muttered “Thats a lie, I know why.  You are so…” He paused “You are perfect, the way you talk, the little things you do.  I think I fell head over heels that first night we met and I haven’t been the same since.  I don’t really know how to handle this, how to go about this.  I tried hard just to deny it was anything but that only seemed to make things worse.  Seeing you with someone else really proved to me that what I’m feeling is that I don’t ever want to see you with anyone but me.  I-” another deep breath “I don’t want to be with anyone but you” he stepped forward and grabbed your hand gently.  “I’ve always said love is a lie.  That I just didn’t believe in it.  But now I’ve realized, love is a risk.  It’s real and its terrifying, and what I feel for you scares me.”

Your eyes grew bigger the more he spoke, you tried to take in everything he’d just said.  

“I realize how much of a risk it is, especially right now.  I’m here pouring my heart out, and I don’t even know if you feel a thing for me.  You probably only wanted to fuck that first night and here I am making this out to be more than it was” He groaned “I’m so stupid, I’m sorry.  I said what I needed to say, I’m gonna go home and die from embarrassment” he shook his head, releasing your hand and starting to walk away.

“Wait!” you shot out and grabbed his hand back, pulling him to you.  “I-I actually don’t know what to say” you admitted.

He stared at you blankly for a moment, wondering what was going through your mind.  

You sighed, “I liked you right away on that date.  I mean looks wise, you are a fucking 10” you motioned up and down to him.

He broke his blank expression and chuckled.

“I’m mad at you for the other night.  But I kinda get it now, you’ve been dealing with a lot trying to make out your feelings.  I don’t really know what to think.  But, If you actually feel what you’re saying, I think you should know that I feel the same” you confessed.

And you knew you were telling the truth.  You hadn’t totally realized it until now, but even through all his strange actions towards you, you couldn’t get him out of your mind.  Him telling you that he liked you in a way he’d never thought was possible for him anymore had you floating on cloud nine.  

He grinned widely.  “You’re sure?”

You nodded shyly, now suddenly feeling self conscious about what to do next.

He stepped in close to you, reaching up and cupping the side of your face in one of his hands, tilting your head to his.  “Y/N.  Can I kiss you?” he asked in a whisper.

Without answering you leaned into him and pressed your lips to his.  You kissed slowly and passionately, different from the hungry lustful kisses that you had shared with him the first night you’d met.  He wrapped an arm around your waist, a flat hand on your back pulling you tightly into him, his other hand trailing from where it had held your chin to the back of your head.  He ran his fingers lightly through your hair as he continued planting loving kisses on your lips.  You could feel the honest emotion behind these actions.  He had meant what he said.

He obviously wasn’t just telling you what you wanted to hear to get you into bed with him or something like that, since you knew how he felt about that.  At that thought you quickly pulled back from the kiss,

“Wait...Does that mean you want to…” you trailed off.

He cocked his head to the side in confusion “Huh?”

“You want me? Like...you want to have sex with me?” you blushed as you told him what you had meant.

“Oh” he stepped back and looked at you with a serious yet caring expression.  “I do...If you want to of course.  I did think about this.” he sighed “I am going to try and hold back on a lot of my urges, hopefully one day we can get into some of the things I’m in to” he winked at you “But It will be more than pleasurable to me to have you even if it is fairly gentle compared to what I’m used to”

You cringed a little at his words.  What he’s used to...What if you weren’t enough for him.  What if it wasn’t enough for him, or you didn’t end up liking the things he wanted.  You had told him before that you would try, but now, you were nervous that if you didn’t he would reject you again and go find someone else to please him in the ways you couldn’t as your ex had done.

“Hey” he soothed, brushing a strand of your hair behind your ear, noticing your worried expression. “I’m going to enjoy it.  As long as you are enjoying it” he smiled

You nodded and nervously tugged at the bottom of your shirt, pulling it over your head and standing in front of him now completely topless.

He smirked and raised his eyebrows “Oh now?” he teased.

You covered your breasts with your arms and pouted. “Or not I guess” you mumbled

He grabbed your wrists one in each hand and gently pulled your arms back down to your sides.  

“I’m kidding.” he kissed you on your neck and moaned softly “You’re so beautiful” he whispered

He kissed you on your shoulder and trailed his kisses down until he reached one of your nipples, planting a gentle kiss on your sensitive bud.  You shuddered at the feeling, and you could feel him smile against your skin before he started to lightly suck and nip at your breasts, always keeping the one not to his lips cupped in his hand.  

He paused and brought his head up to yours “Want to go to your bedroom now?” he suggested.  

You nodded nervously.  As you guided him to your room you cursed yourself in your mind for not having a cleaner room at the moment.

Once you were in your room he glanced around quickly and chuckled “It seems very you”

“I’m not sure if that’s supposed to be a compliment but I’ll pretend it was” you laughed in return.

Suddenly he had you pulled back into a soft kiss.  “I don’t think I could ever do anything but compliment you” he kissed neck once again “or please you.  Let me make you feel good” he moaned.

You pulled back from him and grabbed the bottom of his shirt.  He lifted his arms up and let you lift it off of him.  Damn.  It almost wasn’t fair someone this perfectly sculpted existed, he put models and athletes to shame looking like he did.  You put a hand on his chest still marveling at his figure.  He grinned “Ah, it feels so good having you touch me like this” he closed his eyes as you trailed your hand over his abs.  He brought his head down onto your shoulder and nuzzled into your neck leaving a few kisses as he did.  He then took your arms and positioned them to wrap around his neck, snaking his hands down to your sides and lifting you up in the air.  His mouth again found yours, “put your legs around me.” he muttered softly between heavy kisses.  You did as he said, once your legs were wrapped around him your core was pressed into the hardness you could feel very distinctively through his sweatpants.  He placed both of his hands on your ass to help hold you up, and started rolling your hips into his front, moaning at the friction it was causing.  You felt him grow even more against you.  You ached for him to be inside of you, you didn’t know what it would be like, but you expected nothing less than heaven with how things were going so far.  

As if he was reading your mind Hoseok walked you over to your bed, gently placing you down and climbing on top of you, continuing to grind against you. “I want you so badly y/n” he moaned, bringing eyes level with yours “But you can still say no any time if you start to not like it okay?  I’m going to be gentle and try not to dom.  If I accidentally get carried away or do something you don’t like let me know.”  

You nodded and reached up to kiss him on the nose.  He beamed at that cute little action of yours.  “God damn it, if anyone else had ever done that I would’ve been so pissed.  But you.  I don’t even understand what this is that you’re doing to me” he chuckled and planted a kiss right back on your nose. He crawled off of you and stood up to take off his pants, dropping them along with his boxers to the floor casually and quickly.  Your eyes widened and you let out a small gasp, his cock was huge, and perfect, you got slightly nervous for how well you’d be able to receive his enormous member with it being your first time.  Again as if he could read your mind “I’m going to go slow okay, you’ll adjust” he reassured with a wink.

He climbed back on to the bed and locked his fingers on to the hem of your shorts and panties, rolling them both off of your body at the same time and tossing them to the floor.  He spread your legs apart with and kneeled between your thighs, palming himself with a devilish expression on his face.  He lowered himself so that his head was between your thighs, pecking light kisses getting closer and closer to...there.  You let out a gasp as he kissed your dripping center.  He did a long lick up your slit, his tongue brushing against your clit.  With one hand he spread apart your lips giving himself better access to pleasure you with his tongue.  His circling motions on your clit started off slow then got faster and faster.  With the hand that was there he took a finger and slowly inserted it inside of you.  You moaned loudly unable to contain yourself at the feeling that seemed to run over your whole body at this action of his.  “Y-yes, oh my god Hoseok” you gasped out shakily.

He purred into you, his moan vibrating against you making it feel all the more amazing.  He slowly pumped his finger in and out along with his tongue circling your clit.  After a few moments of this he inserted another finger curling it with the other one as he moved in and out of you.  

“I-I’m g-gonna” you breathed out “H-hoseok don’t stop, oh my god d-don’t stop”

Hoseok loved seeing you like this, he loved making you feel like this.  It surprised him how much he was close to cumming himself without you even touching him, just from hearing you moan and beg like this for him.  

You came hard, hips bucking up into his mouth and fingers as waves of pleasure surged through you.  He pulled back from between your legs and moved up to kiss you on the cheek.  “You are so amazing” He muttered

“Shouldn’t I be saying that to you?” you chuckled.

He let out a soft laugh and smiled shaking his head at you.

 “I think I may have had more fun than you did” he sat up and gripped his cock in on hand loosely pumping up and down his length.  “Ready? You still okay with this?” he asked

You nodded excitedly “Yes please”

“Mmm.  I love your manners baby girl” he moaned. “You’ll learn that's always a good way to make me happy.” he winked at you.  

He now hovered over you, lowering his cock to meet your entrance.  “I’m going to start slow I promise, don’t be scared to tell me if its too much”

You nodded again.  Then suddenly you felt him start to press into you, slowly, as he said he would.

 “Relax baby” he whispered and brought his hand to the top of your head, running fingers gently through your hair.  

You did your best to relax despite your nervousness.  It seemed to help.  He now was about half way into you, slowly pressing further in.  He kissed you on the cheek and checked your expression to make sure you weren’t in pain or uncomfortable.  Upon seeing that you seemed to be doing fine he pushed himself all the way in.

You let out a soft yelp.  It hurt slightly but not too unbearable.  He stopped moving and stilled for a moment letting you adjust.

 “Tell me when you want me to move” he nuzzled his face lovingly into your neck.  

“You can move Hoseok. Please move” you moaned.  

Instantly as if he had been waiting for years to hear those words from you, his hips slowly started to roll, as he moved in and out of you.  

“Fuck” he grunted out.  “You are so fucking tight wow” he gulped as he continued his slow pace.  

“You can move faster” you gasped out, loving how he felt filling you up like this.  You wanted more, you wanted to please him as he pleasured you so well.  He nodded and sat up a bit, pulling one of your legs up and wrapping it around him, adjusting himself to go faster and even deeper in to you.

He started to move his cock in and out at an accelerated pace.  You felt yourself clench around him as you started to approach another orgasm.  He definitely was able to feel you do that as instantly another “Fuck” escaped his lips.

“I-I’m gonna cum” you moaned.

Hoseok fought the urge to deny you and make you beg for it.  Another time, he told himself as he shook the thought away.  This time was all about making you feel good.  

“Cum for me baby” he softly spoke, panting with his head buried into your neck.  

At his words you felt yourself fall over the edge.  Your orgasm was all he needed to push him over as well. He quickly pulled out and pumped his cock quickly “S-shit” he stuttered, legs shaking and his face flushed with intense pleasure, his come spilling onto your stomach.  

“Woah” you muttered in awe.  “I’ve been missing out huh” you chuckled.

Hoseok collapsed onto you not minding laying in the mess he’d created on your stomach “Mmm” his breathing starting to slow down from its quickened gasps. He rolled you over with him so you both were on your sides facing each other.  He kissed you long and beautifully.  “What I feel for you...right now.” He shook his head with a smile “Y/N I really think I love you.”

You grinned back at him “Hoseok, I love you too” kissing him on his nose again.

He returned your gesture with a kiss on your forehead and then pulling your head into his chest bringing you into a tight hug.

“Mine.” he mumbled.

“Yours” you replied.

[let-it-raines]

Catch Me If You Can (28/40)

298 days. That’s how long Killian Jones was away from a baseball field. It’s less than a year, only part of a season for him, but it might as well have lasted a decade as he alternated between physical therapy and spending an excessive amount of time sitting on his couch.

But then he came back and won the World Series.

It’s something no one saw coming, and it’s certainly not something anyone who knows about his arm would predict. Now it’s a new season with new possibilities, and anything could happen. On-field reporter Emma Swan will be there to cover it all even if she is not his biggest fan right now.

Asking her out live on-air will do that.

Rating: Mature

A/n: I know everyone is caught up in JJ Sneed land if my dash is any indication, but I know some people are itching for a new chapter today! So here we are!

Also, everyone go check out this FANTASTIC piece of artwork from @imagnifika​ | here | because it’s awesome, and I’m still blown away by it and seeing this story come to life in someone else’s eyes! Let me stare at it forever. Thanks to @resident-of-storybrooke​ for reading all these words and being a great encourager! 💙

AO3: Beginning | Current

Tumblr: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 |15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 |

Tag list:  @stunningswan​ @eala-captian @galaxyzxstark @xellewoods @mariakov81 @ultraluckycatnd @royalswan @shey-starsfury​ @superchocovian​ @sals86 @iam2307 @ashley-knightingale @karenfrommisthaven @scientificapricot @captswanis4vr @ultimiflos @jamif @idristardis @nikkiemms @resident-of-storybrooke @tiganasummertree @bmbbcs4evr @onceuponaprincessworld @jennjenn615 @mayquita @captainsjedi @teamhook @notoriouscs @kmomof4 @ekr032-blog-blog​ @cs-forlife @andiirivera @jonirobinson64 @qualitycoffeethings​ 

-/-

There are technically eight different types of cookies, and it all depends on how exactly they’re baked or, well, not baked. This isn’t something Killian knew until about two o’clock this morning when he was googling cookie recipes desperate to find something other than chocolate chip cookies to bake. But then he got sucked into a wormhole of research and discovering the difference between rolled cookies, bar cookies, and dropped cookies.

Seriously. There is an entire website on the history of cookies. He looked at it for an hour. It’s kind of insane.

It’s also not really important to him, but weird things happen in the middle of the night, especially since he hasn’t been sleeping well the past few days and his mind needed to focus on something concrete.

That’s also how he ended up wandering to the nearest twenty-four-hour market at three in the morning to buy ingredients for black and white cookies, buckeyes, and sugar cookies. He doesn’t even know how or why he picked those three. All Killian knows is that he’s been stress baking for days now, something that’s a bit hard to do when he’s trying to take it easy on his right arm, and he’s pretty much wiped out all of his cabinets of the good ingredients.

His refrigerator, however, looks like a bakery threw up inside of it. He really needs to take some of the things to Liam and Elsa, but when he went to their house yesterday, all Addy and Lucy wanted to talk about was his arm and Emma and even though it was completely innocent, it was too much for him. He can’t quite go back to give them cookies if all they’re going to talk about is Emma.

Every bit of this is his fault. He owns up to that. 

But it’s still too much.

The fact that Ariel, Eric, Will, and Robin are all pissed beyond belief at him doesn’t help. He’s sure that for the four of them things will go back to normal soon. He doesn’t know for sure, but he thinks they will. He’ll never be able to clutch his shoulder again without having someone yelling at him to go see a doctor, but that’s likely for the best.

(Killian should have gone to a fucking doctor.)

They all deserve the multitude of sweets in his fridge. He’d take them to each of their apartments now, but they’re all still too pissed that he lied to them over and over again. Plus, they’re leaving for Boston tomorrow morning and likely busy even though today is their last day off from the small break that they got after Labor Day.

He’s not leaving for Boston. He’s staying right here sitting on his ass surrounded by cookies.

Emma’s going to Boston. At least, he thinks that she is. She should be. He’ll have to ask her when she comes over.

When she comes over.

Emma is coming over today. In about fifteen minutes actually, and that’s entirely why he’s been stress baking (more than usual) throughout the entire night. Killian doesn’t even know how he looks right now. There are probably some major bags under his eyes and his hair is all over the place, and he wouldn’t be surprised if he had flour or icing or even both smeared all over him.

Shit. He hasn’t shaved in four days.

For some reason, it’s that that thought that has Killian dropping his piping bag he was using to frost the sugar cookies to turn the corner in his apartment and run down the hallway to get to his bedroom so he can shower. In the past few days, in all of his moping and self-inflicted misery, he managed to pick up all of Emma’s clothes and hung them in the closet. That might be a little too hopeful thinking, but it seemed like the natural thing to do.

The sticky notes, though, have stayed exactly where they are, and he looks at them before quickly twisting the nobs on his shower and stepping inside the moment the water gets to an acceptable temperature. He doesn’t have much time, so Killian picks up his body wash, leaving Emma’s where it is, and scrubs over his body while doing some light stretches with his shoulder. He needs to put another ice pack on there.

That’ll have to come after this.

Six minutes later, Killian is out of the shower. Two minutes after that, he’s dressed in a pair of his gym shorts and a t-shirt, one from a charity game he played last year, and after looking in the mirror, he knows that he doesn’t have time to shave, not if he wants to brush his teeth again.

He should probably brush his teeth for…reasons.

That’s optimistic.

Killian can’t help it. For four days he has felt his entire world crumbling around him, and it’s been his fault. He’s known that it was. There was no denying it even when he most wanted to, and he’s wanted to a hell of a lot.

Missing the rest of the season, possibly having to miss parts of the play-offs which could mean that he could miss the World Series, is obviously crushing. There’s no denying that. The game has been his life for nearly twenty-three years, and he doesn’t want to keep screwing things up. His track record might not show that, but it’s true. He’s going to try to be better. He’ll go to all of his therapy, tell those who need to know when he’s hurting, and he’s not going to overdo it. He’s not.

But as much as all of the stuff with his job is killing him, not having Emma to talk to is worse.

The game was his life for so long, and while he doesn’t want to say that Emma is his entire life now, she’s up there in the most important category.

Probably topping the list.

Everything about his life has her mark on it. From the clothes in his closet and the bottles in his shower to the coffee creamer in his fridge and the throw blanket that she left on his couch. There are all of these physical signs that show how she’s changed things, but he knows that a hell of a lot of how Emma has impacted his life comes in the way that he’s more conscious about spending times with his loved ones or the fact that his demons don’t seem to find him as much in the dark of the night. The smile that was missing for so many years has found its place again.

Emma didn’t fix his flaws. They’re all still there. But she has inadvertently helped him to be a better person.

Even if he is still screwing up and will continue to.

Killian loves Emma, and there is no denying that. None at all. He’d never try to.

“Why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

Killian’s head turns at the sound of Emma’s voice, and even though it causes the slightest sting to his shoulder, he doesn’t care. Because she’s real and standing in front of him wearing running shorts and a tank top, her hair tucked into a Yankees cap so that he can’t really see the green of her eyes. But he can see the timid, hesitant smile, and he never wants her to be hesitant to see him again.

“How did you – ”

She holds up a key. “I have a key. Figured it was still okay for me to use it.”

“Yeah, love.” Killian smiles and grabs a clean hand towel to dry off his hair so he’s not soaking wet. “That’s perfectly fine.”

“Good. So why does it smell like Little Debbie threw up in here?”

“Stress baking. Do you want a cookie? Or brownies? I have a large parfait. There’s also a cake that was meant for…the other day, but it’s a damn mess.”

Emma lets out a small laugh and shakes her head while her hand reaches for the chain around her neck, her fingers fumbling with it. His breath hitches at the sight. Over the past few days, his hand has instinctively clutched for it, reaching out and trying to find something to hold onto, and every time he comes up empty. He gave that to Emma because he wanted her to have it, and nothing about that has changed.

His mom would want her to have it. She’d love Emma. Killian doesn’t remember that much about her, but he knows that she would love Emma. They have that same kind spirit and an infectious laugh that makes everyone else in the room want to laugh along.

Bloody breathtaking.

And hopefully the ring brought her luck and comfort when she got to commentate the other day, and hopefully she knew that he was cheering her on the entire time. He still hasn’t heard how that went. He almost watched the replay of the game so that he could see for himself, but it felt wrong to do that without Emma and to know that most of the tape would be focused on his injury anyways.

That’s not how it should be.

And maybe a part of him couldn’t handle hearing her voice as she had to speak after seeing him leave the mound.

“I might want a cookie later,” Emma says, shrugging her shoulder. “I feel like if I start eating now, I’ll consume everything like I’m a vacuum.”

“Isn’t that how you usually eat?”

She’s closer now, so he can see her roll her eyes. “I’m still mad at you, so I’d watch what you say.”

That sobers Killian up, the playful smile tugging at his lips disappearing into a firm line, and he nods his head while his left hand reaches up to scratch behind his head. “Aye. Do you want to go talk in the living room?”

“Yeah.”

Emma turns on her heel and walks out of his bedroom, and he’s following right behind her. As much as his stomach is absolutely churning right now, Killian knows that the sooner they have this talk, the better. Unless, of course, it ends with Emma ending things between them. That’s not for the better. If it’s what she wants, it’s what she wants, but he can’t believe that it’s for the better even if he is an idiot who likes to mess things up.

Emma grabs her throw blanket from the basket and sits down in his oversized arm chairarmchair, settling herself in like she’s comfortable here, and he likes that she’s still comfortable here. That comforts him. Killian doesn’t grab a blanket, but he does sit down on the couch and pull a pillow to his chest so that he has something for his hands to do.

Is his heart still working? He’s not sure.

“How’s your arm?” Emma starts. This is probably the conversation she feels most comfortable with, and he doesn’t blame her.

“It’s okay. I need to ice it soon, but I’ll be fine. Just a lot of resting it, which is harder than I thought it would be.”

“Do you want to ice it now?”

“No, no, Swan. It’s fine. I promise. I know – I’m sorry that I lied to you.” They aren’t the words Killian meant to say quite yet, but he does mean them. “I truly am. I can’t express how much of an idiot that I am. I hid away something really damn important from everyone when I should have shared it the first time my arm started hurting. I should have gone through the steps of preventing this. I should have told you what really happened with my accident. I should have told you everything that I didn’t tell you, and I can’t imagine how shitty it makes you feel that I didn’t.”

Emma scoffs. “Pretty shitty.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I just – ” She lets out a big sigh and adjusts the blanket over her legs again. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I know you’re sorry, and I believe you when you say that. I’m sorry that you’ve been going through all of this alone and that you haven’t felt like you could tell someone, but it did…it does hurt me that you couldn’t tell me. People have always let me down, and – ”

“I never intended to let you down.”

Emma smiles, something soft and a little sad, and he swears that it breaks his heart the slightest bit. “I know that. It took running far too much, eating my weight in food, and then having Ruby talk some sense into me, but I know. And it’s why I’m going to choose to see the best in you.”

Good.

Good. This is going a hell of a lot better than he thought it would, but he’s still terrified that maybe he doesn’t deserve this forgiveness from her.

“And I you.”

“I mean, there wasn’t a lot of bad to see about me.”

Killian laughs, for what is probably the first time in days, and something inside of him rights itself so that the pieces of the puzzle continue to click into place instead of being all mixed together.

“Well, not in this particular situation, no.”

Emma’s smile is a little more hopeful now, and he watches it change as she tugs on the brim of her baseball cap. “Why didn’t you tell anyone, Killian? Be honest with me. If we’re going to continue to make this work, and I really do want to make this work, you have to be honest with me. I’m done with guys who aren’t honest.”

He knew this question was coming, has had to answer it before, but no answer seems like it’s enough. They all fall short, and he knows that’s because he fell short in who everyone was expecting him to be. In who he was expecting himself to be too.

“I was scared. That sounds like such a pathetic excuse, but it’s my truth. I have been through a hell of a lot of ups and downs in the past nine years, and I had finally gotten out of the downs when the accident happened. I worked so damn hard, love. I – ” He stops to take a breath, still at a loss for words since it all sounds ridiculous and yet makes perfect sense in his mind. “I finally had my life back on track. Things were going really well for me, and I was pissed that it was all taken away from me because some kids were drunk and driving a boat. I didn’t think I’d ever get the game back, but I did, you know? I was on top of the world, so when my arm started to hurt again, despite all of my better judgment, I figured if I never said anything, I’d never have it all taken away from me. And not telling you about any of it…I don’t know. I guess I didn’t want you to think of me as being any more broken than I already am.”

That’s it. That’s his truth. There’s no altering it or making it better or making him seem like less of an idiot. That’s simply it.

Emma said she’d see the best in him. He hopes that’s true.

For a moment he thinks it’s not because Emma is rising from her chair, and he fully expects her to walk out the door despite everything they’ve already said today and when they talked in Elsa’s office. But she doesn’t leave. Instead, she walks toward him and very slowly places her knees on either side of his thighs and leans down to sit on his lap so that they’re nearly eye level when the palms of her hands land on his cheeks and he can finally see the green of her eyes again underneath her baseball cap.

He’s now realizing the cap is his.

And it feels really damn good to feel the touch of Emma’s hands again. That’s also what has him wrapping his arms around her lower back and tugging her closer while Emma continues to rub her thumbs under his eyes in soothing circles.

“Killian, I am obviously not the most emotionally equip person in the world and am not the best with words, but you have to know that you and me, we both have shitty pasts. We both have things that we’re terrified of and sensitive to, and I think that’s why we work. You understand that I’m not going to leap head first into things, and I understand that you have this weird sense of self-loathing that you shouldn’t have. You were terrified of losing something you love. I would be too.”

“You were pretty damn good with words there.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve had a lot of time to think about things.”

“I like you thinking.”

“Funny, most men don’t.”

Killian chuckles and leans forward to rest his head against Emma’s shoulder, and he takes the moment to breathe her in and breathe in the smell of her perfume. The pillow next to his has smelled like hers for the past few days, but it’s nothing compared to the real thing.

“I’m not going to lie to you again,” he mumbles into her skin while her hands start messing with his hair so that vibrations are running down his spine. “Or my family. Or my teammates. I promise I’ll be smarter, yeah?”

He tilts his head up to look at Emma, and he’s about to say something else when she leans forward and presses her mouth to his. He’s kissed her hundreds of times, probably more than that – he’s not counting – but there’s something different about the way that her mouth moves over his now. It’s slower, more passionate even if he knows it isn’t leading to something more than this, and the raw emotion of it all travels from his lips to the pit of his stomach before moving back up to his heart and constricting it.

But in the best way.

Killian has missed  her.

He has missed the sound of her laugh and the way that she hogs the entire couch. He has missed the way she tastes and the fact that she never seems to put her dishes away on time. He has missed the notebooks she leaves around with all of her mid-game scribbling and the way that she can’t seem to make up her mind on what she wants to eat for dinner. Barely any time has passed, but not knowing exactly what’s coming next even more than usual has put a hell of a lot of things in perspective for him.

His love for Emma is one of the most important things in his life, and he doesn’t want to ever jeopardize it again by not being able to own up to his past and how it still has a stranglehold on his present.

Killian gently pecks her lips one, two, three times before trailing along the side of her neck and peppering kisses against her skin, never moving his hands from where they’re holding her to him.

“I love you so much,” he murmurs, the desperation obvious in his own ears. “You have no idea.”

“I think I might have a bit of an idea,” Emma laughs as he leans back to look at her again, the brightest smile he’s seen all day stretched across her lips. “I love you too, by the way. But I still hope everyone you know gives you shit about this whole thing until we all know for sure that you’re not going to keep hiding things as important as your health.”

“I would expect nothing less,” he sighs. “Now, I don’t know about you, Swan, but my girlfriend had a very big day at work the other day, and I still haven’t heard about it.”

“Oh, we don’t have to talk about it.”

“No, no. I want to hear every detail. I almost watched the tape, but I figured that’d be a little miserable hearing your voice while watching myself be an idiot on the field.”

“Yeah, that would probably suck.”

“Exactly. So, tell me all about it. I’m all ears.” Emma opens her mouth, but he stops her. “Aye, I know – little pointy ones.”

Emma does tell him all about it. For a few minutes, she’s kind of fumbling around trying to find her storytelling stride, but then she settles in and knows exactly where she’s going with her tale. She’s not one to talk a lot, even when it comes to him, but when it’s something that Emma is passionate about, she could talk for hours without taking a breath.

Emma is passionate about this.

He can tell in the way the smile on her face rarely dissipates and with how she keeps using her hands far more often than she normally was. Plus, her voice gets that little bit higher in pitch, and he has to bite his tongue not to tease her about it. He also has to bite his tongue when she starts detailing all of the petty little ways that Isaac and James tried to demean her instead of acting like professionals. Emma promises that it wasn’t too bad, but Killian can tell that their little digs bothered her, especially the ones about her integrity and him.

Killian shudders at the thought of their relationship becoming public because of the hell hole that it’ll put Emma into no matter how respected she is in her field by those who actually know what they’re talking about.

A part of that will always be on him and his actions of ten months ago, but he’s under strict instructions not to apologize for that again. And right nownow isn’t about him and his own self-loathing. He’s already taken away days of both of their lives for that, and he’s not going to do that any longer.

Right here, right now…this is about Emma finally getting to do something she’s dreamed about.

He does get up in the middle of her going on about what it was like after his injury – which sounds more than horrific for her – to get his ice pack, and that causes them to trail off onto all of the exact details of his tendonitis and his treatment. He promises Emma that it’s truly not that bad, but that his case is a little bit more intense with his history and the particular severity of it all. That’s when she asks him when exactly it hurts, and the pain on her face when he tells her he can feel it pretty much any time he moves his right arm more than a few inches is not a pained face he wants to keep on seeing from her.

But it only gets worse when Killian details that sometimes it’s so bad that it wakes him up from sleep, and Emma starts to piece together all of the times she’s woken up in the middle of the night to find him out of bed at odd hours.

Bloody idiot. That’s exactly what he is.

It’ll get better though, with rest and physical therapy and a little bit of luck, and as much as it sucks, it could be worse. This could all be worse. He’s not going to let it, though, as he’s not going to be dumb enough to not get treatment and to keep pushing himself further than his physical limits.

And as much as Killian would like to be able to hover over Emma and roll his hips into hers and join their bodies together after what feels like forever apart even if it’s only a few days, he knows that he’s not quite physically able to today. Emma, though, the spirited lass that she is, lets a smirk curl across her lips as she directs him back to his bedroom and tells him to lie on his back as she takes the lead so that he doesn’t have to move his shoulder too much.

Creative solutions have always been the best solutions.

It’s glorious being joined with Emma again, feeling her warmly wrapped around him as she moves above him in slow circles that have him dying in the haze of ecstasy. His mom’s ring falls between her breasts with each movement, and his good arm reaches up to toy with it. She’s going particularly slow, each roll of her hips seemingly meaning something deeper, and as good as it feels, a part of him thinks it’s some kind of torture since she knows he can’t do most of the things he’s usually capable of doing.

The sly smile on her face when he tries to thrust up into her and go deeper inside of her tells him that he’s right.

The minx.

And if slow and steady is what Emma wants, it’s exactly what she’ll get. She’s always been one to take charge.

The heat simmering between them must eventually begin to burn, however, because the rolls of her hips become faster and she places his hand where they’re joined so that he can help her find her bliss in the few minutes before he finds his, little shocks of electricity working down to the base of his spine as he comes undone with Emma’s name on his lips and his love for her curling around each and every other word that he manages to mutter.

Almost losing her, even if he didn’t think this would truly tear them apart despite the way his mind kept convincing him that it would, has made him appreciate Emma in ways that he hadn’t before.

He thought he appreciated her in every way, but there are always things to learn.

“I have so many damn cookies,” Killian laughs later, after they’ve cleaned up and crawled back under the covers, a new pack of ice on his shoulder and his body pleasurably aching. “I have no idea what I’m going to do with them.”

Emma laughs against his chest where she’s curled up, her hand over his heart and her feet tucked in between his calves so that they’re back where they belong. “I would say I could take them with me on the road trip, but then I’d have to check a bag to get them with me through TSA. Or maybe not. I’m always confused on the food thing.”

Oh.

He’d nearly forgotten that life was moving on outside of his bedroom and this bed and the freckles scattered over Emma’s skin. The only clothing she has on is the necklace, and he’d like to keep it that way for as long as possible.

“So, you are going to Boston then?”

Emma hums. “And then Detroit after that. I have off for the Blue Jays, though, so I’ll be coming back home instead of going to Canada.”

His hand scratches against her back, drawing lines and words and anything that he can simply to feel her again. “I hate that I’m not going to be traveling with you.”

“It’s going to be kind of weird,” she whispers before pressing a kiss to his shoulder. “I’m going to have a hotel bed to myself.”

“To be fair, you pretty much always have the bed to yourself even when I am around.”

“You have been forgiven for about two hours now, and you’re already talking shit about my bed hogging. That’s a bold move there, Jones.’

“Oh, I know,” he yawns, his lack of sleep catching up to him even if it’s only six in the evening, “but I’ve slept alone for a few days now, and let me tell you, it’s glorious.”

Emma scoffs against his chest before sitting up so that she’s looking down at him under her mess of wild blonde hair that’s curling over her chest. “You’re being an ass.”

“Well, we have undoubtedly decided that I am an ass, right?”

“Pretty much.”

Emma’s arms stretch over her head, the muscles of her stomach on display, before she’s rolling off of the bed and standing up so that he has a particular good view of her ass that has his body humming. But then she’s walking to his dresser and pulling out a t-shirt to put on. She obviously pulled it from the back because it’s an older one he hasn’t seen in years, and he imagines he’ll probably never see it again with Emma’s penchant for stealing his things.

“You going somewhere, love?”

“Yeah,” she sighs as the t-shirt lifts from her thighs when she’s pulling her hair back up into a messy bun on the top of her head. “You have a bowl of icing in your kitchen, and the TV in the living room is better than the TV in here. If we’re not going to the US Open because I don’t want to leave this apartment until I absolutely have to, I’m going to watch it here.”

“Do you want me to join you?”

“Eh,” she teases, shrugging her shoulders. “I don’t really care. Apparently, I am a bed hog, so I’m leaving you here to have the entire bed by yourself while I go lounge about on the couch eating the sweets you made while you were mooning over me.”

“You’re impossible.”

Emma winks. “And you love me for it.”

[b4civility]

Chapter 5: James

  I know that not a lot of people that were also taking Visual Arts were going to be there, but I wasn’t too desperate about it either. Some to who I’ve talked to during the first week were nice but most of them were those edgy, cold, Clock Orange and Tarantino worshippers that just had their heads too far up their own butts to have a real conversation with. I think Betty was the only freshman that didn’t annoyed me at some level this past few days.Hope I get a chance to talk to her better. Is she thinking the same? Did she have a nice first week? Did she think of me at any point this past week? ‘Cause I had. I saw her twice on campus from afar, but she was always in a heated discussion with a group of people. This Political majors won’t miss a discussion, apparently. I hope she can take a joke, too. I think I remember her smiling at me the last time I was around, that gives me hope. 

  I skate there, only me with a bottle of champagne that I had smuggled from my mother’s hidden bar on the attic. Didn’t blame the people for staring, I was a Kid Cuts His Face While Riding a Skateboard With A Glass Bottle In Hand accident waiting to happen. I toss my board on the grass and get in, make myself home. I have been here for the same reason more times than it’s legal, but never felt uncomfortable enough to never come back again. It always started with some dubious glances and “who’s brother is this” muffled comments, and when we were all ready to call it a night lots of hugs and cheek kisses and “hope I see you next time, man!” were delivered at me as goodbye. Thus, I always came back. 

 “Sup Jaaames” Zoe greeted me. “ Nice! we were almost running out of this one, saved the party bro” she was pouring the champagne on her cup letting it leak a bit. She wasn’t sober. 

“Yeah, I see you enjoyed some of if”

“ You don’t miss a thing, do you?” she took a sip. “ I was going to say this party is going to be good for you to mingle, but you already know most of our friends. I didn’t invite many people from your class but I hope you get to know them better, it’s good to be friends with people you study with, don’t underestimate that” She handled her tipsiness with grace, I bet she could give me a well-thought speech out of the tip of her tongue if I keep winding her up. 

“ I talked to some, but they weren’t exactly my type of people, but I guess if I’m nice to them, they’ll be nice to me” 

“Probably. But I suppose they were no Betty, am I right?” she said, stretching her name.Had I say something? 

“ What do you mean?” 

“ Rumors fly,boy. A little bird told me that you and her had a pretty agressive locked-eyes-situation last time you were here”. Inez couldn’t keep her words neither her imagination to herself, which was worse. 

“ Yeah, I guess,but whatever…”

“Speechless,all of the sudden? hehehe”  she leaned her arm on my shoulder,trying to catch her breath to talk  “well, it’s not like it’s a surprise for anyone here. In any case, you know were the porch izzzzz” 

  I sat her down on the kitchen top, handled her a glass of water and told her I would say hello to some people. As I walked around, I saw some boys that would be in my grade if I was still in high school, Trevor and Nate. Fucking idiots. They were always the ones to start a fight on a party or to make out with girls that were just too drunk to persist to refuse. I didn’t engage in the first one, but had already started some myself for the second reason. But, right now, in front of all this people they were new to, they seemed like two nice puppies. I nodded at them and went to the backyard. Needless to say, I wanted to get to Betty as fast as I could so I just waved to a lot of people, grabbed a beer and looked around trying to appear as casual as possible. And there she was, talking to a friend. She was much more relaxed than when we had met and her eyes gleamed a bit when she smiled. I feel like I could come up to her and just ask “what’s up?” and we would spend the entire evening talking, as if we had done it a million times before. The scenario in my head didn’t worry me anymore, I wasn’t revising all my pick up lines trying to decide which one would work with her, I wasn’t forming a backup plan if she told me off. I just wanted to switch places with the girl in front of her. If only I had arrived earlier, if only that girl was talking to some other friend, if only I… was touching her tight. That girl was touching Betty’s tight. How close could you get over introduction week? Well. I guess I wouldn’t be the one to know. 

  I noticed that I had my eyes glued on the two for way too long so I went back inside. I wouldn’t say that I was crushed, but definitely disappointed.What was up with me? I misled my own self; it’s not like we had have any significant communication before, and it’s not like I was short on options of who to end the night up with. I wasn’t the one to fall like this;I had never been in love before.I sat on the couch for a bit drinking my beer until I heard from behind the other couch, that was in front of me: 

  “ You good, James? Another girl dumped you again? Uni girls don’t need your help when I’m around, do they? “Trevor said, giving Nate a high five for the extremely mature - almost academic, I would say-  line that intended to get on my nerves. His goal was to either get me to fight him or to kiss him. But I guess I was still too sober for his taste. I always nod it off, never engaged the other twenty times he has ever tried to get me out of my cool. 

But I could use the distraction.

 Deep breath, fake smile and ask: “Beer pong. Me and someone against you two. What do you say?” I ask him. If life gives you two brats, you make a beer pong match. 

  “ Never saw you so engaged in making a clown out of yourself, James. I’m in. What’s in for it?” 

  “ Shit, isn’t the whole point to just get drunk? That’s what’s in”

  “ I could be getting drunk with any hot bitch on this party, I’m not wasting that on you.Don’t be a pussy and bet something already” 

  “Whoever loses has to strip to the entire length of a song in front of everyone, in the kitchen counter.” Nate said.Trevor’s shadow could talk and knew the word ‘lenght’? Really underestimated that dude. 

  “Deal.”

  It’s not that I was a good beer pong player. Neither was feeling especially lucky that evening. But I did have Ashley going for me, she made an excellent partner when it came to this game. However, I managed to balance her out and we lost. 

  “Okay! This is finally the night that we’ll know what is the color of James’ panties!” Trevor high fived Nate again. 

  “ Dreamed about it much, Trevor?” I answered. 

  “ Doesn’t matter. It’s not me who’s getting naked. I’ll let you choose the music” 

  I hesitated a bit.

 “U can’t touch this”,I said. 

 He looked at me, a bit confused . “ Don’t get me wrong, James, I’ll definitely blast this but you’re digging your own grave” 

Trevor laughed.

  But a newbie is a newbie- since it was the first time they were ever in a college party, they weren’t aware that this was the song that played in every one of them and everyone had to dance to it. It was tradition. My brother, who was here before me, two years ago, warned me of it and taught me some smooth steps to this song. That’s when I discovered that I wasn’t too bad of a dancer and, long story short, everyone knew I could dance. So, when the song started and everyone got up and I stood on the counter, their heads bounced side to side, wondering what kind of code had been passed to everyone but them. And as I did the choreo, people started blasting my name, encouraging me. Damn, U can’t! touch! this! I was having a great time being the center of attention and the fact that I had to strip just hitted me by the middle of the song, so I started doing so. I took my shoes off, kicking them away on the beat of the song, and just as I had taken my shirt off- what led some girls to scream louder- the song ended. 

“LET’S GET THIS YEAR STARTEEEED!!!!!” I screamed at the end. The crowd shouted my words back at me. 

Yeah, I guess I’m starting big.

[ironwoman18]

The Worst Third Date Ever part 24

Chapter 24: We have a hostage situation part 2

Max took some pictures with her phone, trying to not be obvious about it. She decided to sent them to Prentiss.

Before she sent them, she added some information like adding a Russian on the man who was leading the operation and then a Spanish flag to let them know he must speak that language.

She sent it and put her phone back in her pocket. She just prayed it help them a little.

Back with Spencer and Ashley they were looking every list of the Interpol looking for someone.

"Hey Reid" he looked at her "I know how you feel, once my ex boyfriend got kidnapped and my unit saved him bit them... well he started to get nervous because of my job even though I'm not a field agent so I ended it up"

Spencer smiled softly "yeah this job is tough, especially for our loved ones" Reid saw a picture of a man and something clicked "this guy looks familiar. Who is he?"

"Nikolai..." she made a dramatic pause and said "...Krasinski! He is the big brother of Ivan, both are from Saint Petersburg and their parents were members of the KGB and they are part of this terrorist organization since 2017 causing troubles around the world" she read excited.

"Excellent, we have the name of the man who spoke with Prentiss now we need the rest of his team. I will tell Emily and Rossi" he said "you keep looking Dawson" she nodded and he left.

He walked in the trailer "Emily, Dave..." he said and looked how they were focused on her phone "what's up?"

"Max" Emily looked at him "she sent us some pictures from inside" Spencer walked to them "apparently there are four members of this terrorist group. And she put a Russian flag on this man and a Spain flag on this other"

"I think that's mean this man is Russian and this other speaks Spanish" said Spencer looking at his supervisor's phone "Dawson and I found out who the leader of the team was. Nikolai Krasinski"

"Like the man we have in our office?" He nodded "we finally have some advantages today"

"Let me speak with him. Maybe with the new information I may get him to negotiate with me"

"Spencer..."

"Trust in me, Emily, you know I'm completely focused in the case. Yes my fiancee is in there but I'm a professional and I won't risk 132 life there because of one person"

"I know Spencer but first... we need something to negotiate. Ask Dawson to look all the people who work in this school" he nodded and walked out.

Meanwhile Max was helping the kids to remain calm singing softly some of there favorite songs.

"Sir I'm worry, the FBI is so calm outside, shouldn't we negotiate with them?"

"You never watched those Americans films? The moment we accept a deal, the will fool us and them... prison... dead penalty"

"And what are we gonna do?" Asked the guy at the other end of the room "wait till they decide to kill us? I bet you watched Captain Phillips. They kill the pirates on a ship... moving... we aren't better dudes" he sounded American. So they have a Russian, a Latin kid and an American. There's only one guy who has not spoken yet.

She informed this to Emily. Via WhatsApp, she put her phone back in her pocket, one of her coworkers noticed this and looked at her shocked and Max put a finger on her lips saying to her to stay quiet.

Her coworker nodded and looked as the men kept fighting about negotiate or not.

At the FBI camp outside the school Ashley found something important "Reid... come over" the young doctor walked to her "I found something important, Darcy Johnson is a teacher in that school, she has type 2 diabetes and if she does not have her insulin in time, she may die"

"That's perfect for our negotiations" said Spencer, then he walked to Emily "Emily, Dawson found there's a teacher with diabetes in there"

"And inside we have an American citizen" Spencer lifted his eyebrow "Max heard him, and she informed me"

"Ok. Emily I think we have something to negotiate with them"

"Yeah but we don't have anything they want" said Emily looking at Spencer.

"We have Ivan, maybe we can use him" Prentiss made an unsure face "Maybe food? They had been there like an hour and thirty minutes"

"Let's see if this work" he looked at her and nodded "I know you want it to work somehow but use that logical brain we all love and want to work at it's full speed"

He sighed "I just... can't lose Max, I wouldn't forget myself if that happens again" he looked at her "let me talk to him, I will block my emotions"

After some minutes of silence Emily nodded "ok Spence. But if I notice any indication of anger or frustration, I will give the order to hang out the call. Is that clear?" He nodded "ok good".

They walked out the trailer and Prentiss ordered to call the kidnappers again and she handed the phone to Spencer.

He decided to speak in Russian, he worked on his pronunciation and now was perfectly fluent in the language. He called him by his name and the man sounded surprised.

Then Spencer explained there was a woman in there with diabetes and she will soon need her medication also he asked for any person who may be hurt. They know a teacher had some bruises thanks to Max but he never mentioned they already knew.

The man said yes and Spencer started to negotiate. He said they will send food and drinks for the kids, teachers and theirselves if they released the two teachers that needed medical treatment.

"Ok Doctor Reid, we have a deal but only if you come here, unarmed" said him with his thick accent.

Emily looked at Spencer "Deal... I will go in" then they hung out.

"Spence... why did you do that? I won't send you there unarmed, with four unsub alone"

"It's the only way we can get the critical hostage out of there" he said looking at her "I know you think I didn't use my logical brain but I did and that's the only way Emily"

"I will thrust in your decisions Spencer but if some go the wrong way, I will have the judgment of the NSA and the politicians"

"I understand" he nodded "and I won't let it happens" he turned to Ashley "did you find something else?"

"Yes the same day Nikolai Krasinski and his brother arrived, a flight from Colombia arrived, a man called Carlos Ramirez got in the country. He was accused to work with the FARC- EP as a drug dealer. Never used a gun and the authorities of Colombia forgave him for saying the authorities everything he knew about the narco traffic. That's why he walked in our country so easily" she said "and the Krasinski brothers and Mr. Ramirez had several chats with Andrew Davis, an American citizen who was anti capitalism and all the antis you can imagine"

"They met here to cause a riot in the nation and also kill an opponent in the inclusion of Crimea in the Russian territory" said Emily "killing two birds with one stone"

"Yeah but we need one more name, because according to Max picture, there's one more person in there" added Rossi.

"I know but I'm not sure how we will find him. Because they only test between them" said Ashley looking at her computer.

After that they made the call to ordered the food and water for the negotiation also ordered some ambulance to take care of the two patients.

"What make you think everyone is safe in there?" Asked a man from the DCPD.

"Normally if there's not a murder, it's mean the men inside don't want to kill and we will have some good negotiations" explained Spencer "now what's bothering me is that they haven't said their demands"

"Like?"

"Like 'we can 10 billion dollars without marks' or 'we want an airplane' they haven't asked for anything"

"What would that means?"

"They don't have a backup plan and this was improvised, which turn this into a trap or it's just a fail"

"Let's hope it's the first one"

"Yeah..." that makes Spencer's brain works. He was happy his brain was a lot better from his nearly death experience and could think faster.

"I can hear you thinking kid... what's up?"

"This hostage situation isn't normal. They haven't kill someone or even shot, like when Will got in the bank and got shot"

"Don't remember that Spence" said JJ "I still have nightmares"

"They haven't set their demands or ask to make public statements about their cause" Spencer opens the website of this group "see this? They have an agenda and I can't see that in this situation, they are a political group that caused troubles around the world and now they haven't made it public?"

"You are right but what's their plan?" Said Rossi.

"I don't know..." said Spencer. His brain was working as fast as usual.

The team tried to make connections when the food arrived. And Spencer call Nikolai to let him know he will approach them with some people of his team to help him with the food. He was a little reluctant at first but then accepted.

Inside Nikolai said "ok who will be a good human shield for me?" He looked around "um... what about pretty art teacher?" He points Max "come here you will be my protection if they want to shot me"

Max stood up shaking and walked towards him then the man walked to the main door with another guy from his group.

When they reached the door she could see Spencer with JJ and a woman she did not know, maybe the new girl bringing each woman some boxes of pizza while he carried the bottles of water.

She could tell he already saw her, she could read his eyes but his poker face remained still to not give information to her kidnapper.

"Well... well... well... Dr Reid bring two beautiful women with him" he laughed checking out both of them. Max felt disgusted "pretty art teacher, before he gets in, check if he doesn't carry a gun" Max did it shaking.

"He doesn't have any gun" Max said using her poker face too, the same that fouled Cat Adams.

"Good" then Nikolai said "since you most know my conrad's name... Ramirez check him just in case miss pretty art teacher didn't want to say the truth" the Latin boy did it.

"Nothing Nikolai"

"Ok let's go so you check those women you wanted" Spencer nodded to JJ and Ashley and they handed a box to Max and the other to Ramirez then they walked inside the gym.

They put the food on the floor and Spencer checked the two women and with his eyes tried to find a way out or a way to hit them with hurting the children or the teachers.

"I will take them with me. This woman needs her medication and this other needs medical attention"

"Yeah she was very rebellious and Anderson got... violent" Spencer had to close his fist tight and count to ten so he did not punch him.

"Let's go" he looked at Max from the corner of his eyes and she looked back then he lifted the two women and take them out of the gym.

On his way to the door one of them said "so you are Max's boyfriend right?" He nodded "nice to meet you, we were asking for her to bring you here but she said 'no yet' and now a very unpleasant situation brought you here"

He laughed softly "yeah I think this is my way to meet her family and friends" he looked at them "maybe some other day I will come over" they reached the door and there were his coworkers waiting.

JJ helped him with one of them and Ashley helped with the other.

He explained what he saw to them and Ashley said she will call for some drones. Maybe they could attack by surprise.

They took the women to the ambulance to get help them went back to work. Spencer told the rest of the team what he saw.

"Why did he pick Max as his human shield?" Said Spencer getting a cup of coffee.

"Spence... relax they don't know your connection with her, so I doubt they did it on purpose. Maybe because she is pretty and they thought she might distract you. That man is misogynist and I bet he hates women so he got comfortable when you volunteered to be the negotiator"

"Sounds logical" she nodded and held his hand softly.

"We will catch them"

"Thank you JJ" she smiled "I really appreciate this"

"You know I will be there for you Spence" he smiled and squeezed her hand "take a little break here, clear your mind and you can continue" he nodded.

"Ok, mom" he teased her and she laughed softly and hit him gently.

Then she left him in the trailer, a DCPD brought him some pizza and water for lunch and then he walked out to meet the team.

"Do we have something new?"

"No, the forth man is still a mystery for us"

"And he haven't talk cause Max hasn't heard him to informe us" he nodded as Emily talked.

"There's something that keeps bugging me... they haven't give us their demands" he looked at them "that's always something we can expect from this kind of situations" they all nodded. Then Spencer started to drop facts about other hostages situations where they all asked from very important requests to absurd requests.

"You are right Spencer, but we are in an dead end" said Emily "our witness can't say anything because those men covered their faces so we can identify them. But then we found a conversation between them. This is so weird"

That's when something clicked in Spencer's head "where is Mr. Dyatlov?"

"He's with Agent Flanagan. Why?"

"I want to ask him something"

"Come with me" Emily could hear his brain working so she took him with the NSA agent "Agent Flanagan. This is Dr. Spencer Reid and he wants to talk with Mr. Dyatlov"

"Sure, we have a private room here" he lead them in and they sat down.

"Ok Mr. Dyatlov I would like to know, what are you going to say in court?"

"Well I'm going to talk about corruption in Ukraine and I also provide information about the Crimea case. The government is making a deal with Russia to give them money in exchange for their silence"

"Ok and why are you attacking your government with this kind of scandal? The world supports Ukraine, right?"

"Yes but our president is corrupt"

"Ok I understand" then Spencer says something in Ukrainian and the man looked confused.

Spencer read his expression and smiles a little and talked in Russian and Mr. Dyatlov got pale.

"You see this man isn't from Ukraine. He faked his identity. He is from Russia. The thing is, the Ukrainians won't be agree about Russia took part of their territory. Something they fought for after their independence from the Soviet Union, not even if they are opponents of the government"

"I...I..." the man was speechless.

"You put the life of thousands of kids, 32 between teachers and administrator members... for what?"

"I... I was looking to get into the witnesses protection system. I wanted the United States to think I was an important target to Russia. I hired this guys to create a distraction and if the thing went wrong then 'fake kidnap' my son. They sent a manifesto attacking your president and I would end up being a victim of the Russian government"

"You used this kids to have protection?" He nodded and agent Flanagan signed "I'm sorry agent Prentiss and Dr. Reid... I will put this man under arrest"

"But first we need him to call the kidnappers and tell them to surrender" said Emily. Dyatlov nodded and got out his phone and contacted them. He spoke in Russian, Emily and Spencer noticed he was giving the order and then the agent cuffed Dyatlov and left.

Spencer and Emily sighed "good job Spence" she patted his back.

"Thank you Emily" he smiled.

They walked out of the NSA tent and they could see how everyone walked out of the school the SWAT team got the hostage takers.

Spencer walked to one of the ambulances and saw Max helping some kids. He smiled and walked towards her.

"Hey" he said softly touching her back gently. She turned and hugged him he hugged her back "are you ok?"

She nodded "y...yes, I'm still a little shocked but good" she rubbed his cheek with some tears in her eyes.

He rubbed her cheeks "good, do you want to leave?" She nodded and hugged him tightly with her head on his chest "ok let's go"

OOooOOooOO

That's all for now, I was a little stuck with this one but I read a lot about negotiations, also I had the plan to make Dyatlov the real unsub. So I had to look on internet if the Russian and the Ukrainian languages were different from each others.

And I found out they are. Like Spanish and Portuguese or even English and German. They came from the same language family but they added different words or even meanings of the same word. It was quite interesting but I'm rambling, sorry.

Thank you for reading. I think the next chapter should be their wedding, don't you agree?

This little plot came to me when I was in the kitchen and I hope I did it well.

We will read in the next one.

[the-blind-assassin-12]

I See You: Part Five

A/N: As you get ready to hear what Billy has to say, both of you go through some of the last conversations you had. *this one contains a prompt from @littledarlinhavefaithinme ‘s “10 Marvelous Things I Hate About You” challenge. Prompt is highlighted*

Warning: Language, violence, tiny bit of lemon zest. 

Word Count: 3,920

Crimson leaves fluttered and fell from the sugar maples that lined your street, the sun shining through them like stained glass before they touched down on the cobbled sidewalk. The crisp September air made you shrug a little more deeply into the thick cable knit scarf that Lexi had given you for your birthday- along with a bottle of vodka that she’d helped you finish- but the below average chill did nothing to douse your spirits. You paused to lean down and tie the laces on your boots, adjusting your phone between your ear and shoulder so you could carry on your conversation without interruption.

“Can’t you send me somthin’ romantic next time? Why’s it always gotta be these deep, dark, melodramas?”

You rolled your eyes even though he couldn’t see as you finished with your laces and straightened up, taking your phone back into your gloved hand. “Because, Russo, you asked me to help make you seem cultured, not cliche. If all you want is some lukewarm, watered down garbage, just quote Romeo and Juliet at her. Chicks dig that bullshit.” You could picture him biting his lower lip to keep from laughing, that devilish look in those coal black eyes that you’d seen the first night you’d met. “But if you really want to impress a woman, you’ll show her your mind, Billy. So I’m sending you stuff that will make you use it.” You grinned preemptively, running your tongue along your top lip as you prepared to deliver your next line. “You’re the one actually choosing to read what I send you, ya know?”

There was a part of you, although you were perfectly content to keep Billy as a friend, that secretly hoped that he was reading all the books you sent him because it was you that he was trying to impress. You knew there were plenty of fly by night floozies and paper doll cut outs to occupy his empty hours, and that didn’t bother you. You knew he didn’t feel anything for them, knew he was only trying to keep an acceptable amount of booty calls on rotation by keeping them interested enough to put up with the extreme lack of commitment that Billy put into any of his “romantic” endeavors. But you’d be completely lying to yourself if you said you hadn’t at least thought about what it might be like to have something more than friendship with him. You reached the end of the block and stopped with a small group of pedestrians waiting for the signal to change.

“Yeah, yeah, you got me there,” you heard him expel a burst of air through his nose in a snarky, one-of-a-kind Billy Russo laugh. “Just sayin’, it’d be nice if you sent me somthin’ less...I dunno, serious?”

You mentally ran through the last few books you’d sent him- Wuthering Heights,  Frankenstein, and the one sitting on your kitchen counter, boxed up and ready to send to his next deployment in Kandahar, The Picture of Dorian Gray. Shit, he’s got a point. “What have you got in mind then? Any of these girls you see recommend any great works of fiction?” The light changed and the group of people around you started to move forward into the crosswalk on Charles Street. “You want me to send you one of those trashy romance novels with Fabio on the cover?” An older woman a few feet to your left caught your question and made a face, and you looked down to see a book sticking up out of her bag. swirling violet lettering reading Ravaged and the unmistakable luscious hair of the model you’d just mentioned in jest were just visible and it was clear from her scowl that she didn’t appreciate you deeming her literature of choice as “trashy”. You mouthed a “sorry” and shrugged at the disgruntled woman and choked back the giggles that were desperate to burst forth.

“The last one... Ashley?”

You pulled the phone away from your ear and rolled your whole head with a dramatic groan.Of course he doesn’t remember her name. Her bra size though, bet he remembers that. “Allison, Russo, her name is Allison. C’mon write ‘em down if they’re so hard to keep track of. Or, and stay with me here, ‘cause this one’s a doozy...you could actually get serious with one of them. Cut down the list of names you have to know.” You know my name, Billy.

“Right. Allison.” He ignored everything else you’d said and you wondered if he ignored Frank when he gave the same advice. “She suggested Hemingway, said he was-”

“Romantic? Hemingway? He was an abusive, alcoholic misogynist who squandered half of his life hanging around Picasso trying to nail his leftovers. Sounds like Allison knows about as much as you regarding the classics. You two are made for each other.”

Again he ignored the relationship advice. “Hey, Picasso probably had some good leftovers.” You heard a zipper being pulled closed and the soft thud of his fist hitting the full duffle like a punching bag. He’s all packed up, I probably only have a few more minutes…

“Billy,” your tone shifted as you came to another corner, turning right down Mt. Vernon Street, lined with beautiful red brick buildings, bright shiny front doors, and carriage style lanterns. It wasn’t as busy; there weren’t as many shops and cafes as there were on Charles Street, so there wasn’t as much foot traffic. You took advantage of the less crowded sidewalk to stop and lean against a concrete stair rail to finish your conversation. “You know you deserve more than leftovers…” Over the years you’d lost count of how many times you’d tried to convince him that he deserved much more than what he allowed himself to have.

There was a pause on the other end of the line and you dared to hope that he was thinking about what you’d said- that maybe the ten thousandth time would be the charm. But before that hope could swell too much, he poked a hole in it with his response. “I dunno, cold pizza makes for a pretty good breakfast.”

You squeezed your eyes shut, unable to keep your mind from shuffling through millions of moments before it reached the one and only time that Billy Russo had spent the night at your apartment, and the pizza that you’d shared both for dinner and as your first meal the following morning. You recalled walking out into your living room to see him sprawled on your couch, one long leg hanging down onto the floor, one muscled arm bent and thrown across his face. The soft pewter blanket that you’d given him was tucked up beneath his chin, his dark hair spread out over the white couch cushions. You remembered how peaceful he looked then, and how your heart had turned to cement and dropped through your ribs, wishing that you could flop down onto the couch with him. You’d wished that you could climb beneath the blanket and waste the morning in his arms, showing him what it felt like to be with someone who cared for him. You opened your eyes and you were back on Mt. Vernon Street, a maple leaf caught in your scarf. Plucking it out you realized that a good 6 seconds of silence had passed, and Billy was repeating your name.

“You still there? This fuckin’ service…” his voice sounded distant as he pulled the phone away from his ear to check if he’d lost the connection. “Keeps dropping out, you there?”

“Yeah, sorry, Billy, I’m here.” You cleared your throat. “Breakfast pizza. Right.” The leaf fell from your fingers as you tried to recover quickly. “Just saying, pancakes and eggs and bacon makes for a pretty good breakfast, too, Russo.” You deserve more than stale pizza crust.  

“You’n Frankie, I swear you’re tryin’ to turn me into some soft, domestic type.”

The laugh that slipped out wasn’t forced or faked at all, and you were glad that the awkward moment was over. “That what you think of Frank? He’s a softie?”

Then it was Billy’s turn to chuckle. “Hell no, not Frankie. Toughest son of a bitch I ever met.”

“Besides yourself,” you stood up straight, taking a step away from the railing that you’d been leaning against, and resumed walking.

“Besides myself, that’s right.” He repeated, and you could hear the grin you imagined he was wearing. You heard rustling on his end and knew he was shouldering his overstuffed duffle, and then another few seconds of silence. You knew he was heading out the door, knew he only had a minute or two more before he had to leave or else he’d be late, which was completely unacceptable. But you also knew that he hated ending the conversation, so you knew you would have to do it for him.

“You all set over there, Marine? Headin’ out?” You knew you had no right to feel the tightness in your chest that you felt, knew that you were already missing him, missing his voice more than you should, but there really wasn’t much you could do.

“Yeah, just about,” he’d answered quickly , and you knew he was grateful.

“Alright then, Russo, you take care of yourself, you tough son of a bitch.” Stay safe, Billy. Stay safe, come home.  

He laughed. “I will, always do.” You heard his front door open, heard the jingling of keys in his hand as he pulled it closed to lock it up. “Lookin’ forward to your next terrible book recommendation.”

“Ha. You know, one of these days I am gonna send you a flouncy Fabio novel, and then we’ll see who’s laughing.” You suddenly felt the chill that had been in the air the whole time, as though talking to Billy had kept it at bay, and now that the conversation was ending, it was back. You sniffed, rubbing your nose with one hand. “I’ll talk to you soon, Billy.” You had a rule, when either of you left on a deployment, and that was that you didn’t end a call with “goodbye”, both of you hating the way it sounded. When you were both stateside and as safe as any civilian was, “goodbye” wasn’t a problem. It was a different story when gunfire and bombs were involved, when there were rockets digging craters and IEDs buried in the sand, or submarines gliding below the deep blue depths, threatening your aircraft carrier with silent missiles.

“Talk to you soon,” he answered, and you knew that as soon as he could, as soon as he was settled and had a free moment and an internet connection, he’d fire off an email to you. He hung up then, because if he didn’t the call would never end, and you knew it, too. You took a deep breath of autumn air, and pocketed your phone. I’ll miss you, Billy Russo.

That had been one of the last real conversations you’d had with Billy… with the Billy that you knew. The last deployment had changed him, had been harder, different from the rest. His emails were short and lacked the sarcasm you’d come to expect. The few times he’d been able to call you he’d sounded deflated, exhausted, and not just physically. As you led him to the park in silence under the city lights, you wondered how those changes had affected the man you’d come to love. You’re still in there, Billy, I know you are...

.  . .  . . .  .

Billy had spent his entire shift shuffling through every conversation he’d ever had with you; every laugh he’d caught through the phone line, every picture you’d sent while at sea, every single time he’d thought about you since he’d deleted your number. He’d smirked at the security camera on his way to the time clock, knowing that Frank had access to it, making sure he showed up when and where he was supposed to. But where normally he’d spend the night mopping bathrooms and banks, seething about what Frank and Lieberman had reduced him to, tonight he’d been consumed with you. What to tell you, what not to say, what to ask and not to ask… wondering if it could possibly ever go back to the way it was, if you could ever possibly forgive him… if he even deserved your forgiveness. A vivid memory took hold as he dumped the mop bucket and finished up at his final location for the evening.

Billy’s breath was hot as he lowered his mouth to one thigh. His lips and tongue and teeth trailed towards his destination as his hands found the soft flesh of the ass that had been driving him crazy all night. A few strands of hair fell out of place as he looked up, dark eyes on fire, to enjoy the view before him. His vision was blurred from the bourbon, but his hearing worked just fine. He grinned as he flicked his tongue against the slick heat at the apex of the legs his head was lost between, the soft moan of his name urging him on. “Billy… oh, fuck…”

His eyes rolled back as that bimbo’s voice was replaced with yours in his mind, and he increased the pressure he applied with his tongue. Ashley? Allison? Fuck it doesn’t matter… she had her hands in his hair, holding him in place, and he groaned, imagining your fingers gripping and tugging instead. He slipped his tongue into her, dreaming of what you would taste like, and the thought alone sent him for a spin. Finally, completely spellbound by his secret desires, he turned to kiss her thigh, but it was your name that fell from his lips. And it wasn’t the first time, either.

She stiffened, instantly pushing away from him and sat up, a look of pure disgust etched into her carefully painted on face. “Are you fucking kidding me, Billy? Fucking again?” She pulled her legs back from over his shoulders and stood from the bed, scoffing as she tossed her long blonde hair and shook her head. She bent down to retrieve her discarded clothing and started getting dressed.

Billy just sat up, a complete lack of guilt, embarrassment or whatever Allison thought he should be feeling clear in his eyes. He shrugged and shifted so that he was leaning against the headboard, reaching for the phone on his bedside table. I could call her… tell her I’m back…

He’d called you as soon as he’d had his boots back on U.S. soil, but he hadn’t told you that he was back. “Gettin’ out of this hell hole in two weeks,” he’d said while he drank a coffee in his kitchen. “Can’t wait to get the fuck out.” Pinching the bridge of his nose, he lied through his teeth. Fuck, this is hard. He’d always been able to bend the truth to suit his needs before, but not with you, and he felt his stomach turn.

“Two more weeks? That’s not bad, Marine. You and Frank taking care of each other?” He heard the tingling sound of a spoon clattering into the sink and guessed that you’d just made yourself a coffee, too.

Billy set his mug down and rested his forehead in his hand, raking it back through his hair. His mind immediately went to that night, in that tent, after that mission had lead them straight into that ambush resulting in the greatest loss to their unit that they’d ever suffered.

“Did you complete the mission?” Rawlins barked the question repeatedly, even while his men bled and suffered- the ones that had made it back, anyway. His clean white shirt and well rested mind didn’t belong in that tent. Covered in blood, some of it his own but most of it Frank’s, Billy sat in silence. Wringing his hands, a dull hum drowning out the noise, he considered things he never thought he would- he considered a transfer to a different unit, considered leaving the military completely. This shit… its all wrong… this isn’t right, not what I signed up for… The abrupt sound of a metal folding chair crashing to the ground as Frank, still bleeding from a gunshot wound, launched himself at Rawlins out of rage as the entitled asshole asked his question again broke him from his thoughts. Aw shit, Frankie. In two strides Billy crossed to where Frank had just landed a brutal punch that punctured the man’s eye socket. He’s gonna fuckin kill ‘em. He grabbed his brother by the shoulders and hauled him into the next room, tossing him through the door.

“You’re gonna fuckin protect him, Bill?!” Frank’s voice was uneven, his eyes flashing. “Sends us into a goddamn ambush when we told him, I told him and you’re takin’ his side?!”

“I’m protecting you Frank. This is never gonna be on him. We’re here to take the fall, Frankie, not Rawlins… and I’m done. I’m out… and you should think about it too.” He left Frank gaping like a big mouth bass, needing to be anywhere but in the room with the words he’d just said aloud.

“Yeah,” he answered your question. “Yeah Frankie’n me got each other’s backs, like always.”

He heard you swallow on the other end of the line before you spoke. “Hey, you okay Billy? Something you’re not telling me?” Shit, she’s too good at this… at knowin me…

“Yeah, yeah I’m fine. It’s just…” he rubbed the heel of his palm into his eye. “Things are different this time… just… lookin forward to gettin out, ya know?”

“Okay, well… just keep your head up, Russo. Two more weeks until beers and burgers.” His chest tightened as you tried to reassure him, tried to give him some tiny spark to get him through. I don’t deserve her… she’s … this is why I have to do this, cut her out… she’s too good for my bullshit… “Hey what’d you think of the book I sent?”

“Think it was perfect for me,” he answered, staring out his window at the gray New York City morning.

You’d laughed, and his chest tightened another notch. “It’s about a man who sold his soul to the devil, Billy. You may be dark and mysterious but you’re not the devil.”

Least I got to hear that laugh again. “If you insist… but I did like it… I highlighted a line for you. You’re always highlighting things for me so I did one this time…” the last time.

Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic. That was the line that he’d selected, the line he hoped would help you understand; understand that he had made his choice, and that he couldn’t take you with him.

He shook his head, enraged shouts pulling him away from the memory of your last phone call, just a few days before. Allison was still berating him for being a womanizer and an asshole, for using her for sex- I use you because you make it too easy. Yeah, I’m an asshole, everyone knows that, what’s your goddamn point?- but he didn’t care, just scrolled through his phone until he found the photo he’d been looking for, the one from the night that he met you.

The fact that your roommate was perched in his lap barely registered when he looked at it. He didn’t even see Frank anymore. All he saw was the frozen laughter on your face, the happiness captured that night that felt worlds away now, even as he sat in the same city that the photo had been taken in. He used two fingers to zoom in until only you were visible in the frame of the picture. I really fucked up… He never told you, but that picture kept him going on some of the worst days; reminded him that there was at least one person who gave a shit about him, one person that believed in him...one person that saw him for who he really was and kept him in their life anyway, asking for nothing but the same in return. Allison was shrieking his name, trying to get him to pay attention to her as she made a show of gearing up to storm out. Billy zoomed back out on the photo before he pressed delete, erasing your number while he was at it so he couldn’t make any more mistakes with you.

“...knew you were fucked up, Billy, but Jesus. You want to fuck her that bad, go the fuck ahead, see if I care. Then she can feel like shit, too when you forget her name... ”

Rage bubbled up at the thought that he could ever forget you, at the idea that she meant anything to him, anything close to what you meant. He stood, tossing his phone on the bed and advanced on Allison, fists curled at his sides. She took a step back, bottom lip quivering but eyes locked on his. “Don’t you fucking talk about her. You don’t get to say anything about her, you hear me?” His nostrils flared and his eyes flashed. “You mean nothing to me, sweetheart. You’re nothin’ but a nice ass in a tight dress and that’s all you’ll ever be, and ya know somethin’ else? I don’t think this,” he gestured between her and himself demonstratively with his pointer finger, “is gonna work out anymore. Get the fuck out.”

She opened her mouth to unleash more insults, but Billy just gave her a look that shut her up once and for all. “I said get the fuck outta my place.” He growled, and she turned, walking quickly towards the front door, slamming it behind her.  Good. She’s gone. She’d never be you, and he knew that. None of the women he fucked would ever be you. I don’t deserve her… she deserves better than me...better than the bullshit I’m involved in… It sliced at his heart like shards of glass, cutting you from his life so finally, but you’d been the only one who mattered, and he wouldn’t allow you to become a target. Attachments are weaknesses…

He reached your apartment at 9:30 on the dot, and you’d been waiting like you said you would be. “Let’s take a walk,” you’d suggested, leading him down the block with the use of a long cane that you held out in front of you. His heart hammered and his mouth ran drier with every single silent step, as he prepared himself to tell you everything- everything he’d done, every choice he’d made, everything done to him and why he had to let you go. The curved wrought iron fence surrounding the small patch of green that New Yorkers called “parks” came into view, and you walked through it to a bench near a fountain. You took a seat and released a shaky sigh, and it hit him how hard you were trying to keep it together. You took your dark glasses off, folding them and setting them in your lap before turning your face up to his. Your eyes, once bright blue and always shining, we’re now a frosty, icy color, some light scarring around the edges of the right one, and his fingers twitched, aching to reach out to you. “Take a seat, Billy,” you softly requested, patting the bench beside you. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”

@something-tofightfor @my-little-dumpster-fire @suchatinyinfinity @lexxierave @agent-bossypants @zaffrenotes @songforhema @thesumofmychoices @fireeyes-on-teller-dixon-grimes @lysawayne @ethereal-heavcns @ymariejp

let me know if you’d like to be added or removed! 

[allycat-writes]

Before Happily Ever After Epilogue

Okay, back again with the epilogue for my last Josh thing. One year later, the group reconvenes on the mountain.

Warnings: Just swearing and kinda shitty storytelling on Josh’s part.

Part 1   Part 2

Again, likes are incredible but reblogs are phenomenal!!!

“So, what do you say? My sisters’ are busy and no one else is here yet…” Josh started, drawing your attention from where you were leaned on the stairway, examining the cabin you’d practically grown up in. You glanced down to find him giving you that familiar mischievous look as he leaned against the bottom bannister, raising an eyebrow.

“Are you always this horny? God, Washington,” you replied, rolling your eyes. He grinned, shaking his head.

“First off, flattered to be called God. I know I am pretty great at what I do,” he paused, giving you a playful wink causing you to roll your eyes at your boyfriend again as he started up the stairs to meet you, “Second! Why do you always assume I’m talking about sex? I mean, it is our one year anniversary but I had something else in mind. At least for right now.” He grinned, wrapping his arms around your waist to pull you flush against his body.

“Then wha-” You froze as you realized what he wanted. “Oh, no. No, no, no. Are you fucking serious, Josh? No way in hell am I ever stepping a goddamn foot back in that place and there’s no way you can convince me otherwise!”

“Princess, come on! It’ll be fun! You think I’m gonna let anything hurt you or that banging bod of yours?”

“I honestly think that’s all you like me for,” you muttered, rolling your eyes. Josh gripped you tighter, lifting your chin up to place a soft kiss on your lips that had you melting against him.

“You know I love you. You may be absolutely stunning but that’s just a bonus. You’ve been there for me. Through everything. The psyche ward when I was younger, my abandonment issues, my fears and upsets. How could I not love everything about you?” he asked, his voice soft as you met his striking green eyes. You sighed, shaking your head. You stood on your toes, pressing another kiss to his lips. You broke away with a groan as a wolf-whistle sounded through the cabin, Chris clapping at the show.

“If you like what you see so much, why don’t you join us?” you snarked, rolling your eyes at him.

“Sorry, you’re not really my type. Josh, on the other hand…” Chris joked, giving your boyfriend a wink.

“Shit, I guess we are gonna party like pornstars this weekend!” Josh exclaimed, his eyes lighting up, giving Chris a playful grin.

“Hey, yeah, sorry to ruin this thirst fest, but he’s mine and the only one fucking him will be me, kisses,” you sighed, dragging him to his usual room.

“Guess you can’t play nice with Chris, huh?” Josh teased as you shut the door behind you two. You rolled your eyes before you pushed him back onto the bed, standing in front of him. His eyes followed your movement as you reached to pull your shirt over your head, effectively silencing him.

———————

Later, when you and Josh finally emerged from his room, you found Chris and Ashley cozied up together, sharing a bottle of wine, and Hannah and Beth looking through old family photo albums with Matt. “Shit, Josh, I forgot how dorky you used to look before you finally passed four feet.” Josh just grinned, shrugging slightly as he pulled you downstairs to join the party. He disappeared for a moment before coming back with two containers of whiskey and you groaned.

“I’m gonna spend most of the night babysitting your black-out drunk ass, aren’t I?”

“Hey, at least it’s a great ass,” Josh joked, winking at you as he handed you a bottle. You rolled your eyes, setting the bottle down before you sat down on the loveseat, curling your legs underneath your body. Josh took a seat next to you, pulling you close as he opened the bottle of whiskey, taking a swig. You leaned your head on his shoulder as he started speaking. “Wanna hear a story?” He grinned, looking around the room at his friends and his sisters.

“Please tell me it’s not a sex story you’re about to tell them,” you groaned, looking up at him. He turned his head to wink at you.

“Not unless you want me to,” he replied, grinning at you. Beth rolled her eyes. She heard the bathroom door open and saw Sam emerge from the bathroom, wrapped only in a towel. Josh took a swig of the whiskey.

“I would rather not hear about your sex life, Joshie. My sex life is a lot more interesting,” she replied, raising her voice so Sam could hear from upstairs. Josh started coughing the whiskey, staring at his sister in shock as he coughed.

“Oh fuck off, Beth,” Sam called down, rolling her eyes. She disappeared into her room, shaking her head at Beth. Six pairs of eyes stared at Beth as she shrugged, smirking.

“Well, fuck,” you breathed, grinning at her.

“Fuck. Let’s drink to that shit! Fuck, that’s my little sister!” Josh exclaimed, his eyes still wide as he grinned. He whooped as Sam stepped out of her room, starting towards the stairs.

“Hey, you owe me $20, man,” Matt started, leaning towards Chris who was staring at Beth, mouth agape.

“……You…You were betting on my boyfriend’s sister being into girls?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Both of them, actually. Five for both of them and then ten they’d get together,” Matt replied smugly, as Chris grumbled, fishing his wallet out of his pocket and pulling a $20 bill out. Matt grabbed it, saluting two fingers at Chris. “Anyways, you were talking about a story?”

“Oh, shit, yeah,” Josh laughed, taking a swig. “So. This is a mostly true story that happened not too far from here on a dark, noiseless night like tonight. A guy and his best friend, a girl with a banging body,” Josh paused his story to give you a playful wink and you groaned, “found some creepy ass, abandoned sanitarium in these very woods. The guy figured if he got his friend scared enough it might lead to some much needed comfort from him. So, he convinces her to go in and explore.”

“Why do I feel like this is the two of you but it’s about to turn into some B-List horror movie shit complete with some sort of raunchy shit mixed in?” Sam sighed, sitting on the ground in front of the couch Beth was sitting on, Sam leaning against Beth’s legs.

“Hey, I’m telling the story. If you think you can do better, too bad, fuck off. Anyways, as I was saying before someone so rudely interrupted me, they head in and check this shit out, right? It’s been abandoned for practically forever so there’s fucking wheelchairs left overturned and decaying walls and doors that are left cracked. So, they decide to go explore, because what’s the worst that could happen, right? So he thinks maybe he can convince her of a quick bone session in one of these empty rooms they’re coming upon. So he’s trying to make his move on this gorgeous babe when they hear it. The soft sound from one of the hallways they’d just explored of a wheelchair quietly screeching down the hall. So. Slowly. So, obviously, he’s gotta save the girl, right? So he puts on this macho show to impress the girl thinking it’s just some vagrant that’s been squatting in the vacant, destroyed building. He steps out into the hallway, opening his mouth to tell whoever to scram, when he sees it. This big, ugly thing with antlers, bone thin, long limbs, and it towers over him, a crazed look on it’s warped face—”

“Seriously, Josh? A wendigo? That’s what you think that noise was?” you scoffed, rolling your eyes.

“Would you hush up? I’m trying to tell a story here!” he whined, glaring at you. You waved a hand, raising an eyebrow at him to continue. “Thank you. So. Yeah, it’s a big ugly, fucking terrifying thing. He screams, drawing his lovely companion’s attention to the hallway, unaware that he’s effectively dooming her, too. So this creature carts them both off to its lair, trapping them. So the guy decided to show the girl one last night of pleasure before they both end up toast. And pleasure it is,” Josh wiggled his eyebrows suggestively, causing Ashley to snort, rolling her eyes at him. “Anyways, the next day their friends are looking for them, searching everywhere like crazy and the only thing they find is a blue, lace bra.”

“You are honestly so stupid, Washington,” Sam sighed, rolling her eyes as Chris and Matt stood up, applauding loudly. Matt mimicked the sound of cheers as Josh stood up, raising the whiskey bottle in a salute before he bowed, sloshing whiskey on the hardwood floor.

“Jesus, Josh, would you watch out, you drama queen?” you asked, pulling him back down next to you.

“That was honestly the lamest story I have ever had to witness. Shit, Y/N, sorry you’re stuck with my brother,” Hannah snorted, shaking her head at her brother’s antics.

“It could be worse, I guess. At least I’m not poor Ash, stuck with Chris,” you teased, wrapping your arms around Josh to bury your head in his neck. He smiled, happy and content, surrounded by his friends, and family, and his soulmate. “Do you really think what we heard was a wendigo last year? You know those aren’t real. How do you even know what they are?”

“You inspired me with your weird fascination with supernatural shit and folklore. Decided I’d see what all it’s about and I stumbled on some weird shit the natives of this area believed in.” He shrugged, turning to press a soft kiss into your hair. He turned back to look at his friends. “You know. You guys have been here for me through everything. Through all of the struggles and the good times and the parties and just all of this. Through thick and thin. I don’t know honestly what I would do without all of you,” Josh paused, smiling fondly at the group, “Anyways, enough with the sappy shit. Who wants to go explore an abandoned sanitarium?” You laughed, tightening your grip on him, hiding your smile in his shoulder. You shook your head because you knew there was no one else for you.

———————

@fahrenheit39 (ilysm Shay I knew you’d kill it at class today)

Permenant Tag List:

@killerqueenofthenight

[kimabutch]

Some scattered ep 85 thoughts:

Holy SHIT that was a realistic portrayal of depression, particularly a specific type of depression. Like, really really on-the-nose in a terrifying way that made me think of a lot of friends I’ve had. 

Kudos not only to Sam for an amazing performance but also to everyone else — I knew a little bit about what he was going to say but Percy, Vex, and Grog absolutely broke my heart. Moments from all of them that killed me:

Grog gently asking Scanlan his mother’s name.

Percy telling Grog that he’s his older brother. Actually, everything from Percy tbh. It’s so rare for him to admit how much he misses his family, much less for him to relate that to what others are going through. Also rare for him to be so angry — he’s sharp with people a lot and clearly has some anger issues, but usually keeps it bottled inside. 

Vex telling Vax that her main takeaway from all this was that they should talk less. We don’t see it all the time, but I feel like Vex could be extremely cruel to people she’s angry at. 

Vax also broke my heart but I had much more complicated feelings about that, cause I relate to him, but in a very, very bad way. His reaction to it was extremely well-meaning, as it always is, and he was justified in calling out Scanlan for shit like straight-up refusing to answer questions about his age or past... BUT I felt like his reaction to Scanlan was very self-focused. Scanlan was talking about his own feelings and Vax kept bringing it back to how Scanlan had affected him, not talking about Scanlan himself. And FUCK, that’s a realistic reaction to those things and it was awesome acting and again [warning for getting kinda personal here], something to which I deeply, deeply relate because that sort of behaviour is one of the things I dislike most about myself.

I’ve never been sadder that Ashley couldn’t have been there for an episode. Not even after Molly. 

Scanlan just shifting between anger at others, self-loathing, gentleness, embarrassment... fuck. The whole thing would have hurt less if Scanlan was angry during the whole ordeal but Scanlan’s immediate comedown from his anger just twisted the knife more.

I thought Scanlan was going to punch Percy when he said that Kaylie was a shitty person. 

I never thought I’d be so emotionally invested in a character I hated SO much at the beginning. I still wouldn’t ever want to meet Scanlan and I stand by hating him for sexually harassing women at the beginning of the campaign, but fuck if it isn’t compelling, and fuck if I don’t somehow care about him.

I listened to it as a podcast, and I don’t know if I’m emotionally prepared to actually watch the video version.

Anyways, I’m emotionally compromised, and even more so because of how relatable it is. I’d heard about the episode, but not in a million years did I expect it to be that hard-hitting. I can’t tell whether I need to take a break from the series to think about everything, or if I want to press on — I thought the year-long break happened at this point, not later, so that kinda changes my plans.

[tenaciousarcadeexpert]

Criminal Minds-The Good Ol Days

Tagging: @marvelfanlife, @itsmeedee, @cynbx, @jaqren, @gabriellewritermua, @princesswagger15, @screaminginbi, @tleighstone12, @cosmicmelaninflower

A collaboration fic with @princesswagger15​

Chapter 7-Hangover

 Elle was getting hammered, drinking tons of beer to the point that she was loosening herself at the party along with the others. She was partying so hard to the point that she ran out and puked on the nearest tree she could find. After pacing herself, she took the time to catch her breath as she tries to recover. She then got up and looked around to see her surroundings, with her vision all a blur. She saw several couples making out, a person smoking a cigarette. She shielded her eyes from the light and continued to look around and saw a couple arguing. Although her vision was still a haze, she could recognize from the sound of her voice that it was Meadows who was arguing with a man, whether it was a guest or a boyfriend, the sight of her slapping him when he tries to win her over prompted her to snicker.

“Poor girl.” She looked away, only to notice the young man leaving, where she sees a person in a coat walking past Meadows carrying a luggage. She then squint her eyes as she tries to get a better look at the person. Due to her hazy vision, she couldn’t get a exact look at the person, though judging by the coat, the type of suitcase and body language, she sensed that it wasn’t a student, possibly a teacher perhaps. The real question is why carry a suitcase this late at night, especially one that’s travel sized. Curious, she then decides to follow the person.

At the same some, Kate, was starting to feel a bit more relaxed as she briefly laughed and chatted with others. Although not as wasted and hungover as her friends, she started to feel a bit light-headed and decided to call it a night and leave the party when she sees Elle walking out, still feeling tipsy. Worried about her, she decides to follow her.   In the meantime, Elle continues to follow the person, still curious about the suitcase he or she is carrying. She continues to follow the person all the way to the teacher’s parking lot when she accidentally steps on a twig. Panicking, she hides behind a car as the person looks around. Just then, the person’s phone rang. Elle carefully tilt her head to the side as she tries to hear what the person is saying.

“Hello David? Yeah, I got everything. What do you want me to do with them? In the cabin? Okay, okay, I’ll be there.” The person then looked around to see no one else present in the parking lot before continuing. “No, I uh made sure that I wasn’t being followed. Okay, I’ll see you there.” The person hung up as they opened the back door of a gray Toyota camry car, placing the suitcase in and closing and getting inside. Elle cautiously stood up as the person drives away. As she slowly walks back, she suddenly felt a hand touching her shoulder.​

“What the-” She gasped and turned around to see Kate standing right behind her. “Jesus Christ Kate. What the hell?”

“What are you doing here?” She stammered, motioning her hand. “I-I was, I was just, I-” She sighs. “I-I thought I just saw something, so I guess I ended up here.”

Kate crossed her arms.“What did you see?” “A person in a gray coat carrying a large suitcase and I could’ve sworn I saw something peeking out of it. She was even calling someone named ‘David’”

She cupped her friend’s face. “Elle, you’re drunk, maybe you were just seeing things.” “No, no. I swear what I’m saying is true. A person was here and was calling someone, saying to meet at the ‘usual place’.” “My god Elle. Why were you even following the person? It could be a professor that was just going home.” “B-b-but I-” “Elle, just leave it. Now come on, we should get going. The party wiped me out.” Kate then grabs her hand, only for Elle to pull back before she could touch her wrist.

“You know what? Forget it.”

“Elle I-”

“I said forget it! Sorry to even bother telling you.” She turned her back away. “Besides, I’m drunk anyway.” She then walks away, feeling hurt. All Kate could do was look on, helplessly. She may be drunk, but she might have a point, if only she could’ve took the time to hear what she had to say.

                                 ------------------------------------------

 The next day, everyone were completely wiped out from the party. The building reeked of alcohol, cigarettes and vomit. Pieces of clothing were discarded everywhere on the floor, hanging on the ceiling and even on the bushes. The next morning was a mess and everyone would suffer the consequences of last night.

JJ woke up to the sounds of her alarm clock buzzing. All she could remember was walking back to the dorm, still drenched and collapsing onto the bed. The first thing she saw was Ashley hovering above her.

“JJ……..” Her voice echoed. She lift her eyes up as the sight of her roommate still swirls around her. Still, Ashley kept trying to wake her up.  

“Hmm…..” JJ said, still trying to adjust to the light.

“JJ…...JJ! Wake up!”

“HOLY SHIIT!” She jerked up the bed, starting Ashley. She then looked around to find herself back in her dorm and saw that her alarm clock was still ringing. She then turned her alarm clock off. “A-are you alright?”

“I-I don’t know….. I guess.” She catched her breath. “What happened? What time is it?”

“It’s uh……….. 11:35 am.”

“Wait what?” She then picked up her clock and looked at the time. “Crap!” She clutched her head. “Didn’t Hotch say that we were supposed to meet today?” “Yeah…….shit, I overslept.” She then smelled her clothes and hair. “And I smell like chlorine…….fuck.”

“Well, it’s almost noon and Hotch told us that we have to meet by twelve.”

“Damn, do you think I’ve got time for a shower?”

“I don’t know.” Ashley then leaned over to sniff her friend. “Ugh, you probably need to take a two hour shower.”

“Oh shit, I don’t have two hours, I have less than twenty minutes to get ready. What should I do?”

“Change bra, panties, shirt and pants. Put your hair in a ponytail.”

“What about the smell? Do you have any perfume?”

“Yea I should, just look on my table.” Ashley goes through her drawer, taking out bottle of lavender scented perfume. “How’s this?”

“Ooooo gimme.” JJ snatched the bottle from her hands as she frantically grabs random pieces of clothing. “Thank you.” “You’re welcome. Now hurry.”

“On it!”

                                       -------------------------------------

A couple of hours ago, Matt was in a deep sleep, still enjoying that sweet and steamy night of passion he had with Kristy last night. He tossed and turned, recalling each moment of the hot sex. Just then, he suddenly woke up from his long and peaceful slumber to see Hotch staring down, smirking at him.

“Good morning sleeping beauty.”

“H-hi Hotch.” He rubbed his eyes.

“Had a nice rest?”

“Uhh yea I did.” Matt said as he covered himself as best as he could. Still, he couldn’t help but notice his roommate giving him a smug look. “Uh Hotch, why are you staring at me like that?” “Oh nothing, just hear you moan Kristy’s name in your sleep but you know, no big deal…” Hotch looked at Matt expectantly.

“W-wha wait what?” He stammered. “I was?”

Hotch nods. “Did you and Kristy…….you know what last night??”

Matt then looks away from Hotch, trying to get away from his searching gaze. “Uh…...I have no idea what you’re talking about-”

“Matt.......”

“Uh.......yea this isn't going to be easy to explain, is it?”

“HAHAHAHAHAH N O P E ! !”

“Yep, figured.” He then took a deep breath and sat upright on his bed. “Alright, it’s true, we fucked. In my car.”

Just then, Hotch cracked open a large smile and laughed. “Oh man, I knew it, I knew it!” “W-wait a second, you knew?” He scoffs. “I mean, I had a feeling you did, and it wasn’t just hearing you moan her name in your sleep.” Just then, Hotch stood up as he pulls out a pair of blue panties that was partially ripped. “I found this peeking out in your jacket pocket.” He then tossed them to Matt. “And I also saw a couple of hickeys on your neck. Seems like you two had a hell of a night.”

“In fairness, Kristy and I are in a relationship now. It’s not our fault that we decided to make it official by getting it on in my car.”

“Well, I hope you know that you need to hide that hickey before we go out today.”

“What? Cause I'll be teased at by the others? We were literally in our underwear before. I don't think there's anything more humiliating than that.”

“Hmm, all I can say is that with the moaning, the panties and hickeys, Kristy sure isn't disappointed is she?”

“No, she wasn't…” Matt said smirking and looking down at his hands.

“HAHAHA! NICE”

“Yes, she was…... she was rather........impressed.”

“Woow. I don’t know what to say, but damn Matt, you've got game.”

He chuckled. “Thanks.” He then got up from the bed and took off his pants. “Well... What about you Hotch? Have you and Hailey......?” He asked as he puts on a pair of jeans.

“I uhhhhhhhhhh...................................................................................no…we didn't.”

“WHHHAAAAAATTTT??!”

“Yea I know.”

“Why?!”

“I don’t know, I guess we weren't.............ready.”

“Oh okay.”

“Yea” Hotch croaked.

Matt then continues to find a shirt, but to no avail, given the hickeys on his neck. “Well.... Do you have any idea on how I can hide the hickey?”

“I don’t know, I don't have makeup.”

“Hmmm......Maybe we can ask Garcia?”

“Oh hohohohohohoho, you really want Garcia to know about that special little hickey you got on your neck because of you and Kristy fucking in a car yesterday?”

“I DONT SEE YOU GIVING ANY FUCKING IDEAS! HAHAH DO YOU WANNA HELP ME?”

Hotch scratched his head. “S-s-say you got bit by a mosquito?” He then shrugs his shoulders at Matt.

He sighs. “Oh Hotch. No offense but you're no help to me man!”

“Oh I'm sorry that I couldn't help you cause you let your girlfriend bite your neck like a bat!”

“At least I actually bang my girlfriend!”

“Well, at least I don't have to worry about hiding a goddamn hickey on my neck!”

“Gee, well could you at least just be my FRIEND AND HELP ME?!”

“How? I don't have anything else on me but the clothes I'm wearing.”

“Would white deodorant hide it?”

“Maybe but barely,” He then rubbed his chin as he tries to help his friend out. “Though I do have a turtleneck in my closet, but I-”

“PLEASE LET ME BORROW IT!!!”

“You sure? I don't even know what size you are. Who knows, you might be....."bigger" than me.”

“Let me try it on! Come on man, you know they’ll attack me once they see this.” Matt said as he pointed to his hickey.

“Uhhhhhhhhhh okay.” He then hands him the green turtleneck.

Matt then takes it and tries to pull it down around his body with no luck.

“Yeah no Matt, that won’t fit you.”

“No, no, no, no, I got this Hotch.”

Hotch then walk up to his roommate as he tries to help him out. “Just give it back! It wont fit!”

“No no, I can fit, I just need to keep pulling.”

“Matt give it back! I swear if you rip it-” Hotch was then interrupted by the sound of the sweater ripping.

“H-Hotch I-”

“MATT WHAT THE FUCK!”

“Okay, I'm sorry I really am, you were right, I should have listened to you but I didn't.”

“AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!” He screamed as he looked down on his beloved turtleneck sweater. “That was my favorite sweater. Why, why?”

“I’M SORRY. I truly am, I didn't mean to rip it. I'll buy you a new sweater, with my own money.” Matt reassured Hotch as he continues to mourn his ripped turtleneck.

“Matt...... my grandma made this for me!”

“Oh well.........shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Tell you what, don’t hide the hickey and let everyone make fun of you and we're even. Deal?”

“Okay fine.” He sighs as he puts on a random navy blue shirt.

“Lets go.” Hotch says as they both walk out the door.

Just as they leave, they saw Reid dragging his feet as he walks pass their dorm. As he walks past them, they noticed how he wasn’t walking but was limping instead. They couldn’t help but wonder what’s gotten into him.

“Uhh hey Spence.” Said Matt.

Reid slowly turned around. “Uh, hey guys. Didn’t see you there.”

“Nice walk- er limp you got going on.” Hotch said.

“Oh uhhhhhhh, I tripped on a loose pavement stone during the walk back. It still kinda hurts.” He grunts.

“Uh, you okay Reid?” “Uh yeah.” Reid waved his arm. “ Yeah, just feeling a bit tipsy, that’s all. I’m gonna head to my dorm and.” He then tries to away away, only to collapse and stumble to the floor.

“Reid! You okay?!” Matt said, leaning down to help Reid.

“I don’t know, maybe, maybe not.” He struggles to lift himself. “Ow, my knees.” “Alright, let’s get him up.” Hotch yells as he and Matt pull Reid up, carrying him into their dorm and placing him on Hotch’s bed.

“Thanks guys.”

“No problem.” Matt responds. “What happened to you?”

“What do you mean? I tripped on my way here.” “No no no no something happened to make you limp like that.”

Hotch then sat beside the skinny brunette. “Come on Reid, you can tell us what happened.”

“Uh……….” Reid hesitated.

Matt then closed the door. “Don’t worry, we won’t make you of or judge you Reid. We promise.”

“You sure about that. I don’t know if you guys can handle the truth.”

“Reid, we can handle anything you tell us, and it wont leave this room unless you want it to okay?” Hotch said.

“Okay.” Reid nods. “I think I can trust you guys.” He took a deep breath as he opens up. “About what I said earlier, that I tripped. That was a lie.” “We know.” “Anyway, the truth is….that I was walking back from the girl’s dormitory. After the party, Marissa and I headed to her dorm. We played video games, ate ice cream and we……..” He rubbed two of his fingers as he hesitated in finishing up his sentence.

“OOOOO I think I get it!” Matt shouted.

“Yeah, I lost my virginity and ahh-” He clutched the right side of his body. “I’m in so much pain right now.”

“That’s what it was like for me my first time. I was so happy, but soooooo sore.”

“Really? What was it like?”

“Well when I first woke up, everything was fine. But then I made the HUGE mistake and made a quick, sudden movement and for the next two days, I had to walk so slowly.”

“Wow, tha-” Just then, Reid looked across from Matt’s bed to see something small and blue. “Is that a-” “Yes Spence, that’s a woman’s panty on my bed.” He then pick it up and puts it in his closet while Hotch covers his mouth, trying not to laugh. “You’re not the only one that got some last night.”

“Cool. What about you Hotch-” “No, I didn’t get laid last night.” “Oh, okay.” He then picks up a small mirror as he pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.

“Woah.” Hotch and Matt looked on.

“Yeah, and that’s not all. These things are everywhere…..e v e r y w h e r e.”

“Damn Spencer.”

“Though, you’re not the only one.” Matt then pulled down the collar of his shirt, also revealing multiple hickeys on his neck and collarbone.

“Damn Matt, you got game.” Reid said, surprised.

“Yeah, I did.” He chuckled. “But look at you, you love marks yourself. You got some game too Reid.”

“Yeah, but what am I gonna do? I can barely walk, I lost a couple of buttons on my favorite shirt, and I don’t know how to conceal these little bites and scratches on my body. I look like i lost a fight with a paper and pen.”

Hotch and Matt looked at each other before turning their focus back on Reid. “Tell you what, if the guys ask, say you got beat up by a bear and barely escaped.” Matt said.

“Really Matt?” Hotch said, facepalming. “That’s the most unrealistic thing I have ever heard.”

“Well, do you have a better idea?”

“Say, ummm y-you fell down a rocky hill.” He shrugged his shoulders.

“You guys are worse than Derek and Luke. Maybe I’ll just let them tease me. This could be karma for accidentally letting you guys strip down in your underwear in front of the girls.”

“I mean if you really want to step into the lion’s den then okay.”

“Yeah, though I also would’ve suggest wearing my turtleneck, had someone not…..”

“I SAID I WAS SORRY!”

“Well it ain’t gonna bring my turtleneck back is it?!”

“.......No.” “Guys, guys, it’s fine, it’s fine. I’ve been through a lot worse than that. Hmmm…...maybe I could wear a scarf. Yeah that’s sounds nice.”

“Oh okay, cool.”

“So……….are we good?”

Both Matt and Hotch nodded. “Yeah, we’re good.” “Cool……….uh, you mind helping me to my dorm? So that I could change?” “Oh yeah, right.” The two then helped their friend up as they escort him to his dorm.

                                     ---------------------------------------

Elsewhere, Garcia tossed and turn, feeling a thick and lumpy blanket as she rubbed her eyes and woke up to find herself in a bed that clearly was not hers. “What the-” She lifted herself from the bed, looking around, seeing that she wasn’t in her dorm, but a guys dorm.

“Where am I?” She thought. As she looked around, she suddenly looked down and gasped when she finds herself in her bra and underwear.

“What the-why, why am I half naked? Where’s my dress? Where’s my dress?” She panicked, scrambling around as she looks for her dress till she found her dress folded neatly on the desk. “Got you!” Just then, she suddenly gasped as she heard the door open. “Oh no, oh no.” She panics and frantically struggles in putting her dress on, just when the door opens and closes. Garcia then screams and hides behind the other side of the bed. A few seconds later, she carefully peeks up as the first thing she saw was a couple of wet legs. She then scrolls up to see none other than Luke Alvez hovering above her, in nothing my a towel. 

“Uh I-I” Luke didn’t bother saying anything, other than picking up her discarded short-sleeved cardigan.

“T-thanks” She stammered as she takes the cardigan from his hand. She then awkwardly walks away, not saying any words. “Garcia?” “Yeah?” “We’re supposed to meet up today.” “M-meet?” “Hotch and the others. We’re supposed to meet up by the forest today.” “Oh yeah. I’ll be there.” “Garcia I-” Before he could say anything, she closed the door.  Just as she was walking away, she quietly mutters at herself, getting all flustered as she has no memory of what happened the night before, apart from blacking out. But whatever it was, it lead to Luke coming back in a towel. Thinking that they had a one night stand, she then gets all flustered thinking about it and Luke.

                               --------------------------------------------

“Emily, Emily!” The mousy brunette woke up to see Tara on her bed. “What is it?” She rubbed her eyes. “It’s ten, and it’s Sunday, which means……” “Shit.” She clutched her head. “We’re supposed to meet up with Hotch and the gang today.” “I know…...we should probably get ready.” “Yes…….or……………….we can stay here for a few more minutes. It’s only ten, we still have time.” She cupped Tara’s face. She smiled back in return and kiss her. Seems like a few more minutes wouldn’t hurt.

                                       -------------------------------

 By noon, everyone finally met, right near the entrance of the forest, though everyone were still hungover from yesterday. Garcia continues to keep her distance from Luke, Derek and Matt talking about their sexual conquests and the hickeys that they got from their girlfriends, Kate struggling to stay awake, Tara and Emily still being affectionate and teasing one another, Reid still sore from having sex with Marissa and trying to conceal his soreness but to no avail and Elle still thinking about what she saw last night. Hotch couldn’t help but look on dismay, seeing that everyone was a wreck, including himself. Just then, he noticed that the group is not complete.

“Wait a sec, where’s J-” “I’m here! I’m here!” JJ and Ashley ran up to them, touching their knees as they catch their breath. “Sorry we’re late.” “Jesus JJ. What the hell happen to both of you?” Kate asked.

“Long story, I overslept, but we’re here now. We’re here.” Hotch then sighs. “Okay. Now,  that we’re all here, I guess we should all get going. With the sun still up, we can still see the path on the way back as well as the shortcut the girls found the other day.. Hopefully, this won’t be an issue anymore. Any questions?” No one said anything. “Good, now let’s roll.” The rest of the gang nods in agreement as they walk through the entrance of the forest. Hopefully they don’t get lost this time.

[lilstar242]

The Crescent Curse- 13

The mirror was within Giselle’s reach, but she still couldn’t bring her arm up to touch it. Giselle’s reflection was in a pale blue dress, her curly hair tied with a butterfly pin. She was smiling, her green eyes sparkling. Giselle found the courage to touch the mirror, but as she did the reflection changed. The dress turned to a black hoodie, ripped to the thread, accompanied by muddy jeans that stuck to Giselle’s legs from the cold. Her hair was a tangled mess, her eyes were tired and rough.

“Finally, you’re awake.”

Giselle sat up, squinting at the morning sun. Willow stood in front of her, leaning on a tree and looking down on Giselle. She rolled her eyes as Giselle made an effort to get up.

“By the way,” Willow said, her blonde hair blowing fiercely in the wind. “We’re leaving now.” She gestured for Giselle to join the pack as they walked an opening in the forest.

“Giselle!” Adrian exclaimed as Giselle and Willow walked towards them. Willow brushed past them, not even taking the time to notice how tired Adrian and Giselle were.

“Hi, Adrian.”

“You look tired,” Adrian stated. “And you’re acting like it too”. He added, teasing Giselle. She glared back at him, putting her hood up to avoid eye contact.

“Yeah, I’m tired.”

“You know Giselle, I will always wonder how your mood changes faster than a bullet.”

Giselle was about to protest but her eyes wandered to her surroundings. They had a reached the edge of the forest where it gave in to a desert; iron red rocks, shallow hills of sand and a cloudless sky that brushed over with a rich dust.

“Where are we?”

“The desert of Crescent Island.” Adrian replied as the pack began to descend into the wasteland. Nothingness surrounded them, but there was something deeper in the atmosphere made Giselle feel uneasy. Her eyes were growing heavy from the lack of sleep, her back was warm from the blazing sun, her hair frizzy from the strong wind. Dust blew into Giselle's face and her legs were tired from walking the day before.

“Careful...” She thought she heard Willow say. “The desert here likes to play tricks.”

A shadow rolled over Giselle as she looked up to see the clouds growing darker. Giselle was certain something was right even if nothing on Crescent Island ever seemed alright.

“Ignore Willow.” Adrian said, rolling his eyes. “She’s joking.”

Giselle barely took notice of Adrian's words, she gripped onto the little bottle Clarissa had given her that was still present in the pockets.

The sky became darker as Giselle found it hard to see. It wasn’t the beautiful starry nights Giselle had witnessed on Crescent Island. It was a bleak, shadowy type mist that seemed to surround them. The others didn’t seem to notice the layer of ash and dust among them, even Adrian continued to walk on as usual. The mist grew thicker, turning from a light shade of grey to a pitch black. Giselle clutched onto the bottle, struggling to see anything as she coughed loudly.

“Adrian?”

“Yeah.” Adrian said so faintly Giselle wasn’t sure if she heard it at all. “Giselle?”

The world spun and her eyes closed, out of her control.

A woman. A crow. No, the same thing. It was the only thing present in Giselle’s vision.

Someone shook her, Giselle jumped and her eyes opened suddenly. The black mist seemed to have disappeared and Adrian was standing in front of Giselle, his arms on her shoulders.

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.” he joked, but Giselle felt too uneasy for jokes. Although the mist had gone, she still felt it all around her. Although it was light, her mind was still trapped in darkness. She felt claustrophobic despite being in the open.

“What is it?” Giselle said weakly, staring into space. The whole pack had stopped to wait for Giselle.

“What’s what?” Adrian said, trying to catch her eyes.

“The mi... the... mist. The black one.” Giselle stumbled across her words as Adrian tried to make sense of them. His face turned serious.

“Adrian...” Willow pulled his arm. “We need to...”

"Get back!” Demarcus suddenly growled. A large black figure jumped from non-existent shadows and pounced on Willow. Adrian grabbed Giselle’s hand and ran through the sand. Giselle looked ahead at Adrian's back, she couldn’t even imagine what the figure was. The terrain made them slower, Giselle trusted that Adrian knew where he was going.

They ran until they reached trees and grass. Giselle ducked behind a tree as Adrian took his place in front of her, one arm out protectively. Giselle could see the edge of the desert through the trees, but dust covered it so Willow’s fate was unknown. They were away from the action, it was quiet. But Giselle still felt the fog on her skin, in her bones. Adrian was on alert, the panic of his breath seeping into the atmosphere.

The ground suddenly shook, something powerful hit a tree nearby. Giselle didn’t wait for Adrian she instinctively ran the opposite way, deeper into the thick of the forest. Adrian followed her, his speed catching up with her. He looked back. A black panther had pinned Willow to the ground, who was in her werewolf state. Willow struggled, shaking her head and growling at her attacker. The panther growled back, its razor teeth showing. Its paws were on the Willow’s chest. Its teeth went closer to her throat. Adrian stopped. A wolf never give up on their pack.

So he turned back.

He whistled something in the air, loud and short. His face formed into that of a wolf’s.

Giselle continued to run. Her legs ached, the little potion bottle jolted about in her pocket. Despite being parched, hungry, out of breath, she carried on running. Giselle reached sand, and it instantly slowed her down. She fell to her knees, the sound of her blood pumping in her ears. Giselle looked up once she had caught her breath; the sea was so close but it wasn’t one she recognised.

Giselle reached the edge of Crescent Island. Giselle lay in the sand for a moment. She felt dizzy and closed her eyes.

Something trapped itself tightly around Giselle’s body.

Giselle jumped, trying to escape from the gridlock as it slowly lifted her into the air. Giselle looked around, struggling hard to get the potion from her pocket as her stomach dropped. She was high above the ground, exposed to a new view of Crescent Island. She froze, her heart beating against the scaly black chains that held her. Giselle felt gushes of the powerful wind at her sides as she tilted her head upwards. The throat of a large animal came into view. Giselle’s hands shook, her breath quickened. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look down to see how high she was. She tried hard to hold on to the unfathomable claws but her entire body was weak.

But she felt herself slowing down, like a pleasant ride. Giselle, still panicked, cautiously opened her eyes to glance down. She was closer to the ground now, and a patch of land that contained several buildings.

The claws around Giselle became relaxed the closer her feet fell in contact with the ground. They had landed aside from the houses she saw, but she knew they weren’t far.

Once she had landed, Giselle looked round to see the creature that swept her away from the forest.

A dragon closed its wind, the air rushing as it did so. The dragon then laid down, tucking its hind legs underneath the wings. Giselle stood there, amazed, as the dragon lowered its head so its eyes were level with Giselle’s. She stared into the eyes; the big, black irises that looked friendly, not threatening. The dragon laid still, its eyes never leaving Giselle, its wings never once moving. Conjuring up brave energy within her, Giselle put her hand on the dragon’s nose, stroking it gently.

“Thank you...” She whispered.

“You’re welcome.”

Giselle jumped back in shock.

“Err... you.. erm...” Giselle stuttered.

The dragon lifted his head in response.

“What? Is not what you say when someone thanks you?” The dragon laid down again, this time on his side so his head nested in the grass. “I think I might stay here for a while.” His voice sounded more like an older boy rather than a powerful dragon.

Still amazed, Giselle nodded. The dragon raised his head again, but remained in his position on the ground.

“You gonna keep staring at me like that?” He said accusingly. “It’s scaring me.”

“Your a...dragon. A talking dragon.”

“What? You never seen a talking dragon before?”

Giselle shook her head, and the dragon laughed to himself.

“Well, I’ve never known Adrian to have a human friend.”

“You know Adrian?”

“Good friends I guess. But you still haven’t told me your name.”

Giselle took a seat on a nearby rock, watching the dragon inventively.

They introduced themselves to each other as if they were two normal people in a normal circumstance. The dragon introduced himself as Raphael, who Adrian called for to take Giselle to the village.

“I’d go if I were you.” Raphael said.

“Go where?”

“The Fisherman’s Village. That’s where you wanted to go right?” Raphael’s magnificent head nodded towards the houses that laid out on a patch of land before them. Giselle scanned around at the houses, the people, the streets. She realised that she could never share this moment with Ashley, who wanted to come to Crescent Island so much.

“What?” Raphael said, getting up from his relaxed position on the ground. “Was the Fisherman’s Village not the place you wanted to go?”

Giselle looked up at the large eyes of Raphael.

“I... I don’t know. When I came here,” Giselle explained. “This is all I wanted. But... I’m not sure now.”

“Please decide.” Raphael said. “I would like to rest now.”

“Okay.” Giselle said, not wanting to cause Raphael anymore trouble. “I’ll stay. Thank You, Raphael.”

Raphael nodded his head in reply before spreading out his midnight-black wings and taking off into the daylight. Giselle prayed that Adrian was okay and took a deep breath. She walked towards the village. Although she had no money, nothing on her except the little bottle Clarissa had given her still tightly in her pocket. She hoped the villagers were kind enough to point her in the right direction. And so she descended to the small, peaceful settlement of the Fisherman’s Village.