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kenovele · 2 years

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Bog’s blog week 2

Week two in New Zealand. The first week was frantic organisation, battling jetlag and the constant full body tiredness but with the pressure of so much more to do. We have been waiting so long to start our tiny house plans and our New Zealand life, and now that we are here, we just want to get started. We are very motivated and now we want to make the most of every moment. We have things to buy, places to see and projects to start. Benoit has become a super active version of himself, finishing one thing and already thinking about the next, which I think shows his excitement to be here in New Zealand. Which is a good thing, I was worried, I struggled to feel at home in Belgium straight away, but Benoit he seems to have already found his roots here.

This week we have slowly gotten into a routine. Work, life and play. Not too much play yet, our social life is still rather limited to our family, but I think they are enjoying having us back that we haven’t worn out our welcome just yet. I will not give you a blow by blow of everything we have been doing but I will try give you a more of a global insight into our lives here in our second week.

Firstly; the most important. A detailed look into Benoit and his integration in New Zealand. I know that many of you are probably worried or thinking about how one little Belgian is getting along in this massive island on the other side of the earth, full of English speakers and beer drinkers. And so, I have taken the liberty to enlighten you all the best I can, as it is not something that Benoit is inclined to do himself. So firstly, I think he is enjoying himself in the Robinson family home, he is getting along well with Sally and Mark and especially Jamie. He has entertained us with his jokes and easy laugh. Made Sally happy with his cooking. And impressed Mark with his pastels. Occasionally I spy a slight crinkle in his brow and a frown on his lips, but when I enquire for more details it is usually just the state of the crypto market – nothing new there! He fills his days well, either coming to work with me, helping out on site visits or working on his physio application, he has gone to work with Jamie twice this week, he has been offered a job as a painter for my office and boss’s deck. So, he is not without things to do, and of course if he was lazing around at home there would be the famous Robinson list, so nothing to worry about there! Despite the bad weather, I think he really enjoyed working with Jamie, although he has been doing it for free, he is learning to build and probably because he is doing it for free the builders on site are pretty nice with him and haven’t gotten him to do all the horrible jobs that normal new builders would have to do, so maybe, not earning any money is better for his building.

Secondly, we are mobile. We officially own a car, a beautiful little silver Nissan, one that will hopefully be easy on the gas, and not cause us too many issues. Our first big purchase as a couple and it was a rather exciting time. My boss very kindly lent us a car while we were searching for a car, which helped us out a lot as we were able to go on site visits and go look at cars without having to pester Mum for the use of her car too often.

Sport. Our new sport is tennis, we have put down the climbing shoes for a wee while and dusted off our old tennis rackets. We picked up the keys to the tennis courts at the start of this week, luckily thanks to Mums hard work at the tennis club while we were playing as kids, we managed to score ourselves a free key while we decide if tennis is the sport for us or not. We attempted our first game on Tuesday night, although we are both rusty and spent a lot of time running after the ball, we both really enjoyed ourselves. The courts at the top of our road have recently been recovered and so we have nice new courts to play on. The only downside is that the courts are on the corner of a main road and after work there is a lot of traffic from people heading home, so the traffic noise made it difficult to talk while playing, but all we really had to say was ops sorry! We played for two hours, without a disagreement on the rules, nor me throwing the rackets away, so a very positive first experience for our new sport.

Creativity. Art nights. During Covid, Mum, Dad and Jamie started up Wednesday night art nights in my brothers shed where they all got together with their respective projects and spent the night creating, with good company, good music and good laughs. We have had two successful art nights this week, one on Wednesday and a second on Thursday for those who couldn’t make Wednesday, we had a great time, hanging out in the shed, talking and just catching up on lost time. Sometimes it feels like we have never left. And in other cases, it feels like we have been away for a long time, it is a odd balance.

My life, slowly I am doing my best to fit back into the hole that I left over three years ago. Being back home is a challenge, a lot to change and a lot to get used to but part of our long-term goal. I am enjoying being back at work, the fact that I have something to do each day, that I can earn money to go towards our future goals. It took me a while to get back into the Tilsley dynamic, but once I had sorted myself out with my laptop, and all the programs I need, it is all go. I have Benoit helping me out with site visits, mum in the office to help me out with any questions and throw a few jobs my way, and all I have to do it write reports with as many errors as possible. My family is happy to see me, I try to make the most of everyone I can. I went in to have breakfast with Gran and Deeda one morning this week and got treated to a big cooked breakie, a true English breakfast and a good way to start your day. I also got everyone around to gran and Deedas for drinks on Thursday night, it was initially just me that was planning on going but then Mum came with me, Jamie and Benoit met us there after work and then Dad came too so we had everyone there for drinks. Deeda was very excited to have us all and made us all one of his new cocktails, a very strong ‘Russian’, vodka and kahlua.. it knocked my socks off. So integration into the big Robinson family happy hour went off with a bang, hopefully the rest is just as easy.

The future.. this weekend we have visited a few tinyhouses for inspiration and spent our free time (in between mowing lawns and visiting family) drawing up plans, we have decided on a plan that we are both really happy with and are in the process of trying to price up the cost of building it vs buying one new. Obviously we want to build but we have a few things to figure out before that can happen, we will keep you updated but we are both really excited about it!

Until next time. Love Kate and Bog. Xxx

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imgonnadosomethingincredible · 5 years

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ok. here we go.

having lots of thoughts recently. over the past few years. I have no idea. but i havent had to express them coherently. so im writing them down, in a place no one will see. Though of course, i hope someone does see. Please message me if you do.

I’m just really unsure about my sexuality.

Why I think i might be gay:

-I seek out explicit gay media, pretty much exclusively

-I identify attractiveness in males. From a young age too. though more recently it’s been more intense

-I have in the past, developed extremely close male relationships. In particular, one guy in my year - a friend, but not super close - whom we used to jokingly blow kisses to each other from accross the room. I could picture hugging him

-I think i like the idea of being in a relationship with a guy. Spooning. Hugging. Developing an emotional bond with a man

Why I feel like I’m not//what makes it hard to make up my mind:

-Every time i try to label it, any sense of resolution i have immediately dissipates. I’ll say to myself “just accept it, you’re gay”, but i won’t have any relief or anxiety or calm nerves, my brain just goes “ah nah actually”. not in a way that’s like self hating, but i just lose all conviction towards the decision i’ve made. Even when i consider that I might be bisexual, the moment I try and come to that conclusion, i feel like i’m just making a mountain out of a molehill

-Though it’s less strong, I have some desire to be in a relationship with a woman

-In my life, i think i’ve only had two crushes. Both on females. One when i was very very young (like, year 3), and one after school. Never throughout high school. Though i did question whether that second crush was a legit crush or just a desire for relationships. The first crush though, I remember being in tears after tennis practice with her asking my Mum what love was. and then tearing out the pages in my diary where i had drawn hearts with our names in it.

-I’ve never been in a relationship. I have no idea what it’s like. But i want it so fucking bad. which again makes it super fucking hard for me to work out whats the object of desire and the object cause of desire (do i actually want to be with a man or am i just craving a relationship super desperately)

-If i had to, it would be super hard to come out.

-I have no idea how to explore this and work it out.

-I have no desire to have sex with a man in the penetrative sense. And maybe not even a woman. But physical touch is my love language and i want to hug and spoon anyone so bad, and I do want sex in some capacity.

-im 22. and i think this has only been a debate for me for about 2 years. I don’t relate to coming out stories where they say “I always knew something was different//i liked men”

I’m just. being broken up by this. My plan at the moment is to, end of next year, holiday alone. and while on holiday, install tinder, and chat, and see where that leads. I can’t do that where I am - too many people I would know on tinder. But i don’t know how i can wait another year to work things out.

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caringpluto · 6 years

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Get to know me!

tagged by : @gals-s thank u lovely💘

Are you named after someone?

no! at least not my first name :-) my middle names are after my mum and a person in the bible, but my first name is mine and mine alone.

When’s the last time you cried?

omgodddd hmmmm i guess crying while reading fanfics doesn’t count so probably a couple weeks ago? i don’t remember the reason why, but most likely cause my dad said something stupid or over a dumb boy idk

Do you have any kids?

no!!!!!!!!! while some ppl choose to have kids young, i can’t imagine being able to take care of a child anytime soon. and do i ever want kids? im still not sure :/ i just know that if i were to have a child i’d adopt.

Do you use sarcasm?

yes but only with ppl i know who’ll get it. nothing worse than no one getting ur sarcasm so u just come off as a jerk.

What’s the first thing you notice about people?

i mean usually their height ahsdjaslfns i’m relatively tall for a woman so like i notice immediately how tall someone is compared to me. but otherwise, i’d say their voice comes second (i love voices), eyes, and their energy? like if im hanging with someone for a hour or two ill start to feel their energy n how it’s affecting me so yeah!!

Eye color?

blue blue blue!!! my mum would say that they’re green depending on what im wearing lol but for the question i’m answering a greyish blue.

Scary movie or happy ending?

i hate horror in all its forms so im saying happy ending (although i’ve become more cynical as i’ve grown older so i wouldn’t say i enjoy super gross sappy happy endings either)

Any special talents?

i like to think i can write well, i can play piano/alto sax, people say im very good at convincing others to follow me hmmmm i can sleep for 10+ hours and still feel tired.

Day of birth?

december 6th 1998 (it’s coming up!!!)

Any hobbies?

reading, writing, watching netflix/youtube, i run a kpop stan account so that keeps me busy, questioning my existence and role within the universe, witchcraft (ok pls don’t hate me for saying that, i do witchcraft when i can, but i don’t consider it a lifestyle for me so yes it’s a hobby), i’m also in school full time so like OOF

Any pets?

yes!! i have a dog, cat, and bird! technically they’re my parents’ pets but like i live there too so they’re mine

How tall are you?

5′7″ babyyy

What sports do you/have you played?

i played basketball, volleyball, rugby, tennis, figure skating, cross country, and i think that’s it!

Favorite subject?

history!!! history history history :-))) but also my japanese language class

Dream Job?

my dream dream job is to be an author who lives near the mountains in a forest with a pet cat and maybe a lover idk. my other dream job is to be a university professor in japan so ! we aiming high folks !

#blue.txt #tag game #get to know me #thank u for tagging me gals-s #mutuals #do this if u wanna!!

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maddihohneckstudio601 · 2 years

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INTERVIEW

I will play with the length of the interview depending on how long I want it in my publication. I voice recorded our conversation, then went through and typed it out, and created paragraphs from the dialogue. I found this to be quite challenging for me, changing a dialogue to a legible convesation, but am now happy with how it has turned out.

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Where were you born and whereabouts did you grow up?

I was born in Auckland, and I've always lived in the Howick and Buckland’s Beach area. My mum and dad were there so that’s where we were based.

Can you tell me a little bit about your childhood?

It was a very cruisy childhood that included lots of sailing. My mum and dad owned a sail making company, so we have always owned boats and always racing boats. We were just always out on the water so didn't really do any other sports like netball, tennis, or anything like that cause every weekend we were dragged away on the boat.

With all this sailing early on, did you guys travel a lot?

Not outside of New Zealand, but every weekend we would head out to Waiheke and those surrounding islands. We would also go up to the Bay of Islands a fair amount. The whole family would go on a little 32-foot boat for around a month at Christmas around the bay of islands and mum would pack the boat up with whole tinned food and off we’d go.

Wow, that's so cool, so did you do this from quite a young age?

Yeah, since I was the youngest of three, sailing and being out on the boat is all I really knew. This is honestly how I got into sailing because I remember just going to every yacht club event as my brothers were sailing and dad and mum were both racing.

So, your parents were quite involved with racing? Did they sail round the world or just race within New Zealand?

They didn't ever sail offshore that much. My dad did once when he was about 30 and he got lost for about a week. Since it was back around 50 years ago, they didn’t have very good navigation systems. They thought they were coming into Fiji and all the lights went out and came across a little fishing fleet out at sea, so they had no idea where they were. They did manage to find Fiji in the end.

I guess it's so different in terms of navigation in today’s day and age especially with all the advanced technology. Mum and dad didn't sail around the world or anything like that, however they installed a love for sailing in us.

So, your brother sails a lot?

He's just bought a boat back from France to New Zealand and Lexi (one of my daughters) and I are probably going to go and help deliver it up to Fiji next month which is exciting. Lexi will love it as she's right into like celestial lights, stars, and weather.

I'm guessing all your weekends spent sailing led to your passion of sailing. Is that what got you into racing?

So originally, it is quite funny thinking back, but mum used to sail on Tuesday nights, as it was ladies racing night. So, when I was little, I used to go out on that and then from there I got to go sailing on all sorts of other boats. As I got better, and people wanted me to crew other boats and then I started sailing on guys teams as well. I then got asked to go and sail internationally and do a couple of regattas. I then got invited to trial for the round the world in Sweden, so I got flown up to Sweden to go and trial. Honestly, I was clueless and didn't know that much but I winged it.

How did you guys go in that race?

It's hard, so we came last, which sucks, but we were an all-women’s team, and we just physically weren’t strong enough. We were you racing against guys, and they were also all super experienced. I was the biggest on our boat strength wise, however, some of the guys that you would be sailing against would weigh in at around 110 kilos of muscle. They've also already raced four times around the world, so that experience was just invaluable, and we didn’t have that.

I guess it would’ve been a good place to start, then it would’ve led to more races?

You know, it’s funny, so I sent my mum messages off the boat, and on the first time around the world we only had fax, so you could write and then send it off the boat. I write this letter to mum, whilst being in the middle of the Southern Ocean saying, if I ever decide to do this again show me this letter because hate it and I want to get off the boat, I’d pay $1,000,000 to get on a flight right now.

You would always see planes going across and I’d just want to be sitting in the plane eating plane food and not in the wet and cold. And on the second time I decided to do it, she was like “look, remember what you said, you honestly don’t want to do this,” and I replied saying it wasn’t that bad. Then once I was on the boat, I remember thinking why I didn’t listen to myself the first-time round. But you do forget those times and remember all the good times.

What major races did you compete in?

I raced in two round the worlds and world championships. Sailed for a mixed international team, sailing for Sweden on the first and second one.

Where abouts did you start from when competing in those round the world races?

We began in England and then it was 9 months of Sailing on and off. We would stop off at ports around the world, then ended up back in England again.

Would you race and then have a couple days break?

You would race starting from England then to South Africa, which would take around 30 days, so 30 days at sea. You would arrive and have 3 weeks in port, to ensure the boat was ready for the next leg, which was South Africa to Australia, which would take around 24 days. Then 3 weeks there. Then we did short legs such as Australia to New Zealand, which would only take 5 days. Was a bit of a mix of both.

In that 3-week stopover, did you look and explore the different towns and cities?

In South Africa, they're so excited to have us there due to it being quite a big event, so we felt like little rockstars. We went to safari parks and Cape Town and got to do so many other cool things. We even got to do the bungee jump off the sky tower for free.

It was awesome and just so much fun. Like we partied. We used to walk off the boat get given an envelope full of money and then another envelope with directions to your hotel room and a key. We would then write our phone number and hotel on our arm so when we drank a bit too much, we could point to our arm and get home.

We had these shore managers that oversaw us when we hit port and their jobs were just the worst job in the world, because you would get 13 girls coming off the boat just wanting to party for a couple days, then would all come crashing down. We would sleep for a couple days and then get back into life again. It was awesome. We had so many fun adventures.

Was this all during your mid-twenties?

Yeah, it was mid to late twenties.

Did you become super close to all those girls?

You go through so many experiences together especially while being at sea, some being quite life-threatening situations. I have so many girls now that are just like sisters. You may not talk to them for years at a time, but when you finally catch up it feels as though nothing’s changed. They know you so well. Bridget who is one of my closest friends, would know that when I come on deck after having a sleep, she would know by the way I walked on deck whether I would be in a good or bad mood. And I could do the same as her. You get to know everyone so well.

I bet you saw some pretty amazing things when out on the boat for those long lengths of time.

While being out at sea you see some beautiful days, you would sometimes have dolphins following you. We also had a little bird that lived on our boat for four days, and all in the middle of nowhere. You would also be sailing along and then out of nowhere you would be hit in the face with a flying fish, then yelling noooo I don’t want to stink of fish. Then you would really be excited for rain cause then you would run outside with the dishwashing liquid and that would be your chance to wash yourself.

Would there be a favorite place you visited while on those trips?

We lived in quite a few places when we were training, and I think the coolest place was Stockholm, Sweden. It’s got this amazing archipelago of I think thousands of little islands. We would sail all around them when we were training every day, then at night we would take the little chase boats and go off to these islands and have these parties in the middle of nowhere.

Would you stay in Sweden all year round, or change due to the season?

We would be employed a year before the race, to build the boat, sail the boat and learn everything about it. We did all our summer training in Sweden, and then when winter would come around, we would sail the boat down to Portugal and do our winter training there. When we would leave Sweden, it was so cold it was snowing on the boat. Was very cool.

Did all these experiences lead you to the job you have now?

Everything together. As well as this, the sailing world is quite small – very much who and what you know. It’s a very tight knit community. Once you are in it, when you are looking for a job, someone will always be keen to help you out or will know a position somewhere. Its good once you are in. Sailors are always hard workers. It’s not like a 9-5 job. You do have to work through some really hard times, so they are great people to employ. Especially offshore sailors because you know that when $#!& hits the fan, they will be there to help. They can work no matter what and are super skilled in everything. They must know how to fix engines or sails or even people. Quite motivated and can never not be bothered. So, that and nursing has definitely got me where I am.

Yes, so you studied nursing also, can you tell me a bit about that?

Mum always said to me, ‘You always need something else to fall back on.’ Nursing got me into a lot of jobs, as there were a few times when I would come home from overseas and didn’t have a job and would go back to nursing.

Where abouts did you practice as nurse?

I worked at starship in aesthetics and recovery and worked in cardiac investigations- studying people’s hearts, that type of thing, to see if they needed bypass and then also worked at Ascot Recovery which is basically ladies that have had their boob jobs or face lifts done.

With nursing, I’m guessing it helped with sailing.

We had to have two people on the boat who were fully trained medics, so they sent me off to courses where we would have to go work in hospitals and A&E. We also carried all sorts of drugs, and things to save people’s lives basically on the boat too, so having that knowledge was super helpful.

Was this all part of your training?

Yep, so we had to be fully prepared for anything, cause when you are in the middle of the Southern Ocean, you are a week away from any sort of help, so if something happens, you have to get yourself out of it.

Where there any times that any of your friends or teammates got badly hurt?

You must climb up the mast once a day to check everything, make sure there’s no ropes that are about to break or any cracks in the mast. One girl had to go up in this extremely rough weather. When up there, you have to hold on to the mast really tight, so you don’t get flung away from the mast. We went over a massive wave and she couldn’t hold on. She let go and then was swinging all around the mast and couldn’t grab on to anything to get back. When we finally got her down, she was hardly conscious, had broken ribs and a few other broken bones. People have died in that race. Most times someone does die. We didn’t have any deaths from our team, so were extremely lucky.

One time, we lost Bridgit overboard, which was awful. Whenever you are on deck when rough, you have a harness on. We were all up the front of the boat pulling the sail down and went over a massive wave. The wave picked her up and she went over the side, she was dragging along the side of the boat and mind you, the boat is still going really quick. Those straps can only last a certain length of time.

You know when people say that you get superhuman strength in these types of situations, I just leant over the rail and lifted her up and flicked her straight over my head and onto the deck. There’s no way I could do that normally. She was full of water too. We lay on the deck and asked each other, ‘You alright?’, ‘Yeah, I think so. You?’ and then continued on with it.

Sailing is definitely not like a 9-5-day job. We often laugh about that.

Has sailing sparked a love for travelling?

Yes, I have the travel bug. Every 5 years I think I get ancy. A little bored. I want to go do something else. I just love seeing different things and going different places.

What made you want to live here in Hahei?

I love the peace and quiet down here, as well as the community. I feel like it’s a chill way of life. Its best of both worlds. I work full time for Predict Wind, and love what I do. Very lucky that I can work remotely while living in a place like this, and not in the rat race of Auckland.

I don’t miss the malls. And when I do go up to Auckland, I go get what I need – it’s like a treat. It’s about making do with what you’ve got. Since the supermarket is about 30 mins away, you get to know your neighbors more, because you are always helping each other out with bottles of sauce or some eggs.

Do you miss competitive sailing?

Yes, I do. I love offshore sailing. However, I think as I get older, I am losing my competitive edge a bit. I don’t really care so much anymore. We recently just had the women’s nationals up in Auckland and we got 4th, which is my worse placing in that race ever in over 30 years that I have done it. Little bit gutted, but it’s not about the place anymore, it’s about spending time with friends and enjoying. It’s so much fun out there, and the conversations we have is hilarious.

Where abouts was the women’s nationals?

It was held just out of Auckland. It was the national women’s keelboat champs, and it was on boats where we had 7 crew. We have won it heaps of times, but this time we sailed like muppets. After the first day we sailed so badly we knew there was no way we were going to win, so on the second day we took out a chilly bin full of wine and started drinking at 10am. Luckily there was no wind, so we just drifted around drinking more and more wine.

Have you ever raced in any individual races?

Not really, mainly fully crewed. However, some of the smaller boats you sail have only got three people on them.

Is that quite hard? Or just different?

It’s just different, you get used to jumping onto different boats. You figure it out. There are many ways you can sail, everything from big superyachts down to little single hand boats. Pretty cool sport.

Now you just love to be on the water.

Definitely my happy place. It’s like anything, sometimes a bit of an effort to get out there, but once you are out its awesome.

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katekatharos · 7 years

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I’ve just finished the Haikyuu!! anime and I’m full of feeeeeeeelings and its all @lunarflares and @rageprufrock‘s faults and I need to babble, so SPOILERS for all the anime under the cut

GENERAL THINGS I LOVE

They are all such DUMB BOYS and the show and everyone agrees with you, just lol yes they are so DUMB isn’t it wonderful and IT IS. Wonderful dumb volleyball idiots.

There is no ‘Evil Team’ which deserves to be defeated! All the teams have their own reasons for playing, they all have different styles of playing, they all want to win, and that’s all okay! There isn’t a single character who deliberately aims to injure the opposing players! Wow!!

All the setters are so pretty.

It’s very very much about the teams, not beating individual aces, even Shirotorizawa whose style is BUILT around the unbeatable ace - that’s the team’s style.

They are all friends!! (Except Oikawa > Kageyama lol) but there is so much of the different teams helping and supporting each other its great!

TEAMS I LOVE

KARASUNO!! Dumb murder of mobbing crows from the concrete <3 I mean I’m boring I do tend to love the protagonist team but I love Karasuno SO much.

I love that their all dumb friends and support each other and their academic idiot volleyball geniuses and get snacks after practice together and everything.

I love that they work super super hard and lose SO MUCH so by the end of season three their victory feels well and truly earned. There’s very little ‘I have honed this amazing technique in isolation and will now pull it out for the first time in an official match and shock my own teammates’. When that kinda thing does happen it’s usually because Hinata has misunderstood simple instructions and done something impossible XD

I love that for long stretches of time Hinata isn’t even in the match and that’s okay because its the TEAM who are the protagonists they all have amazing stories and victories.

I love in the second season when they started to get a reputation and they walk into the sports centre and everyone is murmuring about how amazing they are and they are still ULTRA EMBARASSING STUPID DORKS.

Sawamura: Solid dependable captain type who you doesn’t really stand out but when he’s gone BOY do you notice!! He’s so good, he’s such a good boy, he’s so good at keeping these idiots pointing in the same direction and happy and healthy and a TEAM.

Sugawara: I fell in the love with him when he made that awful face as he slammed the gym doors on Hinata and Kageyama. C: He’s so mature and gracious and cedes his place as official setter to a genius first year because it is the right thing for the team, and of course it’s difficult and he struggles with it but he copes and goes out of his way to hammer basic social interaction into Kageyama’s dumb head. (Contrast: Oikawa :D) But he’s not just forgotten! And every time he’s on the court it’s a game changer and he’s amazing and I’m always SO HAPPY when the three third years are playing together!!!

Asahi: Big scary fraidy cat anxious ace <3 <3 so big. so soft.

Tanaka: Boring wannabe punk character destined to be overshadowed.... was my first reaction but NO he is so ridiculous and so good and a really, really strong player in his own right (I wish I had quarter of his mental toughness) and he cares SO MUCH about all his team and every time he makes a scary face I cackle especially when Daichi immediately tells him to stop it.

Nishinoya: He keeps sneaky up on me and stabbing me with how awesome he is - just so super confident and dependable

Ennoshita: interchangeable forgettable second year comes out of nowhere and hits you in the feels. Also wow they are actually doing succession planning? Awesome!

Hinata: bouncy dumb ball of scary overpowering sunshine. I really love his evolution, for refusing to stick to what works 90% of the time and for taking control - I love that the big emotional moment was Hinata trusting Kageyama enough to jump with his eyes closed but that wasn’t enough, he wanted to have control as well, and that caused them to fall out but then they rebuilt their trust stronger as EQUAL PARTNERS.

Kageyama: awkward boy. Everytime he thanks another team member and apologises or asks for feedback on a toss I clap because baby well done you have grown so much.

Tsukishima: I didn’t much like him at first - boring obligatory bully character - but now I WILL FIGHT FOR HIM omg such a precious string bean omg his backstory with his brother is so painfully realistic and the way he holds himself back from fully engaging because it will just hurt more that way when you loose OUCH THAT IS HITTING WAY TOO CLOSE TO HOME SHOW THANK YOU but in season three when he just. goes for it. wow. (and his brother is adorable and ridiculous)

Yamaguchi: Boring minion bully NO amazing precious friend who works so hard and I think his serve in the first Seijoh game was the most stressful, painful moment in the series, even more than Hinata’s failed match point and then his five points in the second game just *Flails hands*

Shimizu: Amazing. Wonderful. I love that she is treated as just as important a member of the team, that she is just as committed as the other third years, I love that she recruits her tiny manager and just OPENS up and smiles and chats with her and is such a good friend.

Yachi: Tiny lesbian! Tiny anxious nerd! Who is so scared and grows so much and who makes fantastic posters which ENABLE THE CLUB TO ACTUALLY DO STUFF.

Sensei and Coach: So good and SO MARRIED it’s not just me who thinks that right?

SEIJOH!!! oh man I am still so sad. I’m so happy for Karasuno but so sad Seijoh who never got to go to the nationals and more importantly didn’t get to beat Shiratorizawa.

I love that they’re the main antagonist team for the first half of the series but they are the team of zero geniuses and TEAMWORK and TRUSTING EACH OTHER and BRINGING OUT THE BEST IN EACH OTHER.

When they stole Oikawa’s catch phrase from him I made a literal cooing noise it was embarrassing.

Like, their first match they made me want Seijoh to win which is awesome, and then their second match I STILL wanted Seijoh to win despite also wanting Karasuno to win, it’s so hard.

I love Sugawara in part for his grace in dealing with his genius kouhai but I love Oikawa for THE EXACT OPPOSITE REASON (lets be honest I’d be Oikawa but I’d cope with it even less well and probably just go away and cry.)

I love that he’s a brat and childish and self-centred and is smug and gloats horribly and has a disgusting personality but that’s he's also empathetic and strives to bring out the best in others, that he developed those skills because they would get him what he wanted (victory) not out of an innate selflessness but that his faith and trust in his team are no less real for that. I love that he is not a genius but is someone geniuses admire/ are scared of.

I love that is so elegant and pretty when he plays and yet pulls them most awful faces.

I love he was the only one we didn’t see cry at the end of the second Seijoh match and gave Iwa-chan the thump across his shoulders.

I love his and Iwa-chan’s relationship (I’ve heard Iwa-chan so much I cannot now remember Iwa-chan’s real name) I love that Iwa-chan was the one to stop him from self-destructing when he went to hit baby Kageyama (ouch!!) and basically bullied him into being a better person and gave him his life philosophy. I love that Oikawa seemed to decide to deal with all his negative feelings towards Kageyama by just being as childish as possible towards him.

I ADORE him turning up to watch the final match and wanting neither of them to win and refusing to stay to watch the award ceremony, but still kind of begrudgingly claiming

I HOPE HE AND IWA CHAN GO ON TO PLAY LOTS OF VOLLEYBALL AND HE GETS A CHANCE TO DEFEAT USHIWAKA IN A MATCH I just really want him to be able to defeat Ushiwaka in a match okay :(

ALL THE TOKYO TEAMS I love them all

Bullshit things I now want

I’m having flashbacks to Prince of Tennis but now I really want a good Warring States era AU urghhhhh

That dumb anime only PoT arc where every single team went to that Japan training camp? I want that, I want every single team being dorks.

For some reason I really want an AU where Oikawa (and Iwa-chan) did go to Shirtorizawa and Oikawa and their demon coach basically made war on each other for three years because wow clash of styles it would be a complete disaster and amazing.

Final thing is, I really really can’t ship Kageyama and Hinata? I look at all the fic for them and every summary includes the bit Kageyama and/or Hinata realises they FEEL something for their team mate and I just go NOPE, too OOC. I literally cannot imagine either of them having enough braincells/self-awareness to notice anything outside volleyball.

I have this mental imagine of Kageyama and Hinata rolling all over the floor tangled up together and screaming at each other and the rest of the team is looking sidelong at Sugawara and he glares back at them to say “I know I’m the team Mum but I draw the line at explaining to my kouhai why they get tingly feelings in their pants when they do this.”

And because Sugawara won’t explain their emotions to them they never figure it out.

#haikyuu!!#haikyu #karasuno #seijoh #oikawa #because I somehow ended up talking about him the most

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nightskyfoxyy · 7 years

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Ok so @super-sailor-mercury did a thing and i felt like doing this so.. part 1 last song i listened to: Starset - Starlight (its so good) last book i read: Howls Moving Castle (read completely through) (am currently still on Larry Correias’ ‘‘Monster Hunting International’‘ but sadly dont really have time/energy to read that much anymore ;w;) favourite colour: Green top 3 shows: Oban star Racers (its old but.. its good), My Hero Academia, Wolfs Rain (yet again, old but good.) rules: bold all the statements that are true for you. i am 5'7 or taller i wear glasses i have at least one tattoo i have at least one piercing (nothing fancy, but... 4 earrings on each side) i have blonde hair i have brown eyes i have short hair my abs are at least somewhat defined i have or had braces PERSONALITY i love meeting new people (no.. just.. no) people tell me im funny (sometimes) helping other people with their problems is a big priority for me (im bad at it but i try) i enjoy physical challenges (sometimes) i enjoy mental challenges (technically yes, but I have a seething hatred for theoretical math) im playfully rude with people i know well i started saying something ironically and now i cant stop there is something i would change about my personality (more like all of it lolz) ABILITY i can sing well (friend used to really love hearing me sing but i dont think I can anymore) i can play an instrument (a recorder. its technically an instrument) i can do over 30 pushups without stopping im a fast runner (sorta? im smol as heck but quik) i have a good memory im good at doing math in my head i can hold my breath underwater for over a minute (actually dont know) i have beaten at least 2 people in arm wrestling i know how to cook at least 3 meals from scratch i know how to throw a proper punch HOBBIES i enjoy playing sports (horseriding counts, right? i like tennis or batminton too tho. just, not competetively. I hate competitions. I hate it. A lot.) i’m on a sports team in my school or somewhere else i’m in an orchestra or choir in my school or somewhere else (used to be when I was really young) i have learnt a new song in the last week i work out at least once a week. (not currently cause Im technically on holiday, but I go to the gym with @fellow-chan 1-3 times a week normally) ive gone for runs at least once a week in the warmer months i have drawn something in the past week i enjoy writing FANDOMS ARE MY #1 PASSION !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i do or have done martial arts EXPERIENCES i have had my first kiss i have had alcohol i have scored the winning goal in a sports game i have watched an entire season of a tv show in one sitting i have been at an overnight event i have been in a taxi i have beaten a video game in one day i have visited another country i have been to one if my favorite musicians concerts RELATIONSHIPS im in a relationship i have had a crush on a celebrity i have a crush on someone i know i have been in at least 3 relationships i have never been in a relationship i have asked someone out or admitted my feelings to them i get crushes easily i have had a crush on someone for over a year i have been in a relationship for over a year i have had feelings for a friend MY LIFE i have at least one person i consider a best friend i live(d) close to my school my parents are still together (well... they didnt split up technically, but since mum is dead.. technically...) i have at least one sibling i live in the united states there is snow right now where i live i have hung out with a friend in the past month i have a smartphone i have at least 15 cds i share my room with someone RANDOM SHIT i have breakdanced i know a person named jamie i have had a teacher with a last name thats hard to pronounce i have dyed my hair i have punched someone in the past week i know someone who has gone to jail i have a broken bone i have eaten a waffle today i know what i want to do with my life i speak at least 2 languages (german, english, and a bit french.) i have made a new friend in the past year i have been given flowers before So.. This was fun :D Actually got around to doing it this time too ^^’ Not gonna tag anyone (except for @fellow-chan . bich you have no choice) but if you wanna do it go ahead. Maybe tag me though so I can read through your stuff too ^^

#personal #about me #cause Im a self-centered piece of garbage #lolz #lo rambles

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ekthereal · 7 years

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92 statements tag thingy

can you believe my LOVE @blueagust tagged me again !! wow !!! will your fave ever??????? RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

THE LAST: 1. drink: milk. choked on it while watching the latest episode of bon voyage. jin’s an international treasure. 2. phone call: auntie 3. text message: “do you want me to open the gate?” 4. song you listened to: taemin - danger (A JAM, BANGER AND TIMELESS CLASSIC. INVENTED KPOP.) 5. time you cried: uhh two days ago cause shit happened

HAVE YOU EVER: 6. dated someone twice: nah 7. kissed someone and regretted it: ye 8. been cheated on: no 9. lost someone special: define lost 10. been depressed: not really depressed, just deeply sad 11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahahahahahahahahaha. never combine red wine and beer, youngsters

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS: 12-14. - turquoise, lime green, purple IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU: 15. made new friends: yessssss 16. fallen out of love: not quite in the last year 17. laughed until you cried: yeah lmao today (the aforementioned milk and jin fiasco) 18. found out someone was talking about you: ??? can’t remember 19. met someone who changed you: i literally change all the time so i guess yeah 20. found out who your friends are: yeah 21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: no

GENERAL: 22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them!! 23. do you have any pets: DOGGO. MY ENTIRE HEART. 24. do you want to change your name: sometimes cause it’s usually hard to pronounce for native english speakers 25. what did you do for your last birthday: nothing :( 26. what time did you wake up: half 9 am, i;m surprised cause i usually wake up at 12 27. what were you doing at midnight last night: listening to red velvet i reckon 28. name something you can’t wait for: see gd live 29. when was the last time you saw your mom: 30 mins ago 30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: uhhh?? stop being so materialistic n i wanna permanently live in a different country 31. what are you listening to right now: my sister’s ABNORMALLY LOUD tv show, please turn it off 32. have you ever talked to a person named Tom: yes, he’s a lovely cupcake 33. something that is getting on your nerves: my mum sometimes, but we’re besties other than that 34. most visited website: tumblr, twitter, facebook, youtube. i literally have them all open all the time. 39. long or short hair: what, like what i prefer or what i have?? both? idk. my hair is middle length right now but i like both short and long hair 40. do you have a crush on someone: not really 41. what do you like about yourself: my brain 42. piercings: (complete turn on) yeah 43. blood type: A 44. nickname: i dont have one atm 45. relationship status: forever crying over taehyung and jimin 46. zodiac: aries 47. pronouns: she/her 48. favorite tv show: ru paul’s drag race, game of thrones, supernatural, the walking dead, that 70′s show etc etc 49. tattoos: yessssss 50. right or left handed: right handed 51. surgery: yeah, but it was minor 52. piercing: yeah again?? 53. sport: swimming, tennis, crying 55. vacation: ah, pleeeeeeeeeeeease 56. pair of trainers: i don’t get these!!! yeah, i do own trainers. i do like them. i would love to own more??? my favourites are air force ones. uhh, that enough?

MORE GENERAL 57. eating: cheesy chips 58. drinking: anything sweet 59. i’m about to: start playing sims (i’ve been saying this for the past 12 hours but it will happen eventually) 61. waiting for: bts to (slides £10 to bighit) announce their european tour 62. want: get a new phone 63. get married: mhmmmm 64. career: ANYTHING with history or that includes travelling or youtube

WHICH IS BETTER 65. hugs or kisses: kisses 66. lips or eyes: both 67. shorter or taller: taller 68. older or younger: man idk as long as they make me happy 70. nice arms or nice stomach: arms 71. sensitive or loud: mix of both 72. hook up or relationship: relationship since i haven’t had one in (looks at watch) 39 years 73. troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker

HAVE YOU EVER: 74. kissed a stranger: idk whether to qualify him as a stranger 75. drank hard liquor: oh boy did i 76. lost glasses/contact lenses: no, but lost my sunglasses once and i still think about them 77. turned someone down: yah 78. sex on the first date: (looks into the camera like the office) no 79. broken someone’s heart: i like to think so 80. had your heart broken: yeeeeee, sad times sad times 81. been arrested: no 82. cried when someone died: no 83. fallen for a friend: maybe??

DO YOU BELIEVE IN: 84. yourself: nah 85. miracles: usually 86. love at first sight: i used to but now i’m pretty sure it’s always one-sided 87. santa claus: OF COURSE 88. kiss on the first date: yee 89. angels: the only ones i believe in are named bts

OTHER: 90. current best friend’s name: oana 91. eye color: brown & boring 92. favorite movie: super woman

i literally always tag the same 3 people so: @oanacbx @pugseok @tokyostar. the remaining 17 people can be whoever sees this 🌸

#tagged

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haplesshuman · 7 years

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Breaking Dawn Book 1

In which the plot...has gone walkabouts.

OK, the Book of Suck has been very handy. Whilst I was reading Breaking Dawn, I made notes in the Book of Suck. I have 35 notes, covering 8 pages.

Eight. A5. Pages. Full. Of. Plot. And. Characer. Issues.

Breaking Dawn is an anomaly in the Twilightverse in that I actually wanted to find out if Bella ended up a vampire. So, I looked at the end of the book, because I didn’t have any spoilers and, at the age of 15, assumed that it would end with Bella as a vampire.

I was wrong.

This is the beginning of the beginning of the end. And I still haven’t found my rubber gloves. And... much soap was needed afterwards.

Also, I need to give you a PSA. Chapter 7 has several ethical issues, particularly regarding abortions and medical consent. It’s bad.

1. The preface. Bella asks, if you were being killed by your s/o, would you give them your life?

Nobody’s killing you, Bella. Not yet.

2. The Truck. Yes, Bella’s ancient truck. You know the one. First of all, when it failed to show up in the book - Bells is now driving what I dub the Gawkmobile, because everyone stares at it - I questioned what happened to it. Had it caught fire? Did it get in the crash?

No, it just broke. Or Edward sabotaged it. And then bought her the Gawkmobile. OK. Wait a second.

THAT TRUCK WAS A GIFT, DAMN IT! Let’s put it this way. Bella is about to give up humanity, and it means she won’t be able to see her parents. The truck was a gift from her father. She may want something very solid to remember him by. And it ‘breaks down’ (cause never known).

Also... nobody openly admires cars.

And how does anyone know that the car is

3. Staring. Nobody is staring at you. And if you didn’t want to get married, why did you say yes, Bells? I’m just going to headdesk.

5. Black Credit Card. How is this a status symbol, lest it be one for the super rich only? And how did a not-rich teenager get one?

Enjoy the mountain of credit card debt, kiddo.

6. Police Mess up. Charlie, if Billy knows that Jacob is A-OK, take the damn posters down. Put pictures on the corkboard. Decorate it like Homer decorated his workstation. Anything.

7. The Uninvited: Leah. Her mum was invited. Her brother was invited. Leah was not. DUDE, THAT WILL MAKE HER BITTER IF SHE CARES ABOUT YOU, AND IF SHE DOESN’T, SHE’LL BE MAD SHE WAS LEFT OUT WHEN THE REST OF HER FAMILY WAS INVITED.

8. Charlie and Renee. Sorry, Tumblr doesn’t do accents. Charlie takes it well. I thought for a second Renee’s reaction would be an off-page one, but nope, the anti-marriage Renee Something takes it fine, just to make everything easier for Bells and Edward.

To be honest, it would’ve been better if Renee had actually died, and that was why Bella had come to Forks.

I’ve seen that done, by the way. It’s the reason why Emily Benedict came to Mullaby in The Girl who Chased the Moon. And it worked fine. Especially since part of the dual plotline was Emily finding out the truth about what caused her mother to leave the town she’s been sent to.

10. Dartmouth. OK. This is actually combining two points from the Book of Suck. First of all, Bells accepted the Dartmouth place that was bought for her. Someone who worked their behind off to get that place didn’t get it.

And then, to make matters worse, Bells decides that she actually wants to go to college, and Edward suddenly says that he doesn’t think she wants to go to college.

If you don’t think she wants to go to college, WHY DID YOU PUT SO MUCH EFFORT INTO GETTING HER A PLACE?

I’m just going to swear.

11. Turning 19. Another combo point. At one point, Bella calls being frozen at 18 every woman’s dream. I beg to differ, having a sucky time at 18 with only a few bright spots. Turning 19 was fine. Heck, I consider 2nd July International 19-Year-Olds Day. The thing I disliked most about being 19 was spending my last day as a teenager attending yet another funeral.

Later, Bells changed her mind about not turning 19. Well, of course. Now she’s not going to want to be a vampire ever, right?

12. Jacob at the wedding. Edward has Bells meet Jacob as a surprise, making me hope that the whole wedding was Bells being trolled and Jacob was just picking Edward up so they can elope.

Of course it’s not. And Jacob has a fit when Bella says that she wants to get turned into a vampire after the honeymoon. Jacob, please leave the wedding and get some brain bleach. Just get over yourself.

13. The Geography Fail. Or rather, consistency fail! Rio de Janeiro isn’t on the west coast of Brazil, because Brazil doesn’t have a west coast. It’s on the east coast. Yet... within two sentences, it’s simultaneously on the east and west coast. The editor missed a trick there.

14. Isle Esme. What a name. Honestly, couldn’t it be Esme Isle? Or Esme Island? Whatever, I’d rather be on Tracy Island than there.

15. The swimming. Seeing as we don’t see Bella actually put on any swimming garb, I’m assuming she’s skinny-dipping, which means I’m just going to go to my happy place and check the Miami Open scores. BRB. I’ll just leave you with a tennis gif whilst I check.

And now I’m back.

16. I almost forgot... The plot of chapter 2 is... Soppy dialogue, Edward is dragged away, Bells remembers the Denali sisters who I’ve never heard of before and they talk about immortal children.

OK. This is the last book. I have no idea who the Denali sisters are.

Hapless Human considers putting an appropriate metaphor in, but then remembers how immortal children are created and thinks better of it.

Oh yeah. THEY’RE CREATED BY TURNING SMALL CHILDREN INTO VAMPIRES. BASICALLY, DRINKING THEIR BLOOD AND EFFECTIVELY KILLING THEM.

Wait a second. A telephone is calling. The great white telephone.

And the concept of immortal children was never mentioned before. Someone fired the gun without telling us that there’s a gun to be fired in the first place!

Oh, then we have nightmares. Bells needs a shrink.

17. Stereotypes. Enter stage left, cue unfortunate implications, I need say no more.

18. Alice and Renee. Alice is a sister-in-lawzilla. She’s ended up being more of a bridezilla than the actual bride!

And as for Renee... she’s so OOC about the wedding I think she’s been possessed.

In the Book of Suck, I said I’d insert the relevant gif. So I shall. Anti-marriage person planning a wedding with the groom’s sisterzilla? I think we need a facepalm,

19. Part 1 of Chapter 7. Bella fails at cooking, and is sick and is convinced she’s pregnant. SEVERAL LAWS OF BIOLOGY HAVE BEEN TORN UP AND SET ON FIRE. Also, we have to talk periods. They’re very irregular, especially in the early days. I should know, I’m a woman and can’t predict my periods from one month to the next. If my period was five days late, I wouldn’t assume I was pregnant.

20. Vampire fertility. You can’t have male vampires be fertile and females infertile. Either BOTH are fertile or BOTH are infertile. Anything else is sexist.

So... Bella turns down calling on a local doctor (because needles) and decides to phone Carlisle. And Carlisle decides to tell all the diagnosis to Edward. This has been done on The Archers. It failed there. The pregnant woman’s diagnosis was told to her abusive husband and he used it to guilt trip her.

They split up.

Unlike that pregnancy, Bella’s pregnancy is a genuine accident.

21. Pregnancy making you want kids. Bells has this happen to her. I quite honestly believe that the “you don’t want kids now? Just wait till you’re pregnant!” argument is a myth. And I actually want children someday.

22. Edward’s reaction. He’s not to thrilled about being a dad. In fact, he wants Bella to have an abortion. He’s basically told Carlisle that’s what’s going to happen, WITHOUT consulting Bella, who is CARRYING THE GOD DAMN BABY! If my RE classes are anything to go by, the father doesn’t have a say in whether an abortion happens or not. And since Bella’s the one carrying the baby, what she says goes. IT’S HER BODY, NOT YOURS YOU IDIOT!

...Urgh.

Anyway. Next week, we’re doing the second Princess Diaries book. It won’t make me sick, I hope. And I hope I’ll have the rubber gloves for part 2.

#breakingdawn #review #thisisgonnssuck

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adoubleshotdepresso · 4 years

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Sometimes it’s more than “just a little bit sad.”

I’m usually pretty good at coming up with some kind of witty or humorous introduction to my writing, even when the subjects can be pretty serious, and not exactly jolly, but the last couple of months have definitely been some of the darkest days of my entire existence, so I thought it would be the perfect time to have a chat about depression. I’m not talking about the occasionally sad day, when the weather is miserable, nothing is going right and you woke up too late to get yourself a Masai White Chocolate Mocha, I’m talking about the type of sadness that easily overwhelms your entire existence, and soon takes control of your life.

Hi, hello, welcome to the show. As a lot of you may know, I suffer pretty horribly from mental illness, in particular, depression. And it’s something I’ve had to deal with since I was around 14 years old. I just turned 27, so I have spent quite a large proportion of my life sad and miserable, which is about as fun as it sounds. Just joking. None of it’s fun, not one part of it to come to think of it. Which doesn’t mean I’m an actual professional, but speaking from experience I’m pretty knowledgeable of how this disease can affect your life, and everyone in it.

Hold onto your Kleenex, grab a hold of a pet and get comfy, because unfortunately this isn’t going to be great, or uplifting, and if you’re expecting some type of happy ending, I’m sorry but you’re going to be disappointed, because even though I try damn hard every day to get through it, I still haven’t found peace with myself, or the disease I will probably have to live with for the rest of my life.

Let’s take a stroll down memory lane to where it all began. Or where I first noticed I may have been struggling with a mental illness. I was teenager, and still a kid in my opinion. I was bullied a fair bit, mostly when I was in Grade 8, which would have made me about 13 years old. It wasn’t anything significant, just the generalised bullying most teenage girls know of, and I mean, I’m sure it didn’t help my pending depressive disorder, I’m nearly positive I still would have ended up in the same boat even if I wasn’t bullied at all.

But then there were DRAGONS. Just kidding, I needed some comic relief. Thanks Colin, for the reminder.

Because I was a hormonal teenager when all of this started, everyone (including myself) thought it was just the regular “she’s just being an asshole teenager” type of moods, but once I hit the age of 17 or 18, we began to realise it was probably something more than just “growing up”. After already a few years of having to deal with mental illness without actually knowing I had it, my mum took me to my regular General Practitioner and we had a chat about my general behaviour and moods. I had to do a Mental Health Plan, which is basically a whole bunch of questions, like “how often do you feel sad, or get teary for no reason”, and you had to answer “None of the time to all of the time”, and that basically tells Medicare if you need funded psychology treatment.

If you’ve never been to a psychologist, it sucks. I hate every moment I have to be in their shitty office, sitting on their shitty chairs all while having to listen to their shitty advice. I’m sure some psychologists are great and manage to help their patience live their lives to the fullest, but all of mine so far have been basically useless. It’s hard enough for me to open up my feelings to complete strangers, let alone relate to anything that they’re saying. I know a whole bunch of people who go see therapist regularly and find it really helpful, and even though I don’t have anything great to say about them right now, I would highly recommend going to see one if you feel like you may be developing or experiencing some type of mental illness. It doesn’t have to be a negative experience, and who knows, my next doctor might be the answer to all my questions.

Now you know the background, I’m going to tell you how it really feels to be depressed. Which comes in stages, so we’re going to treat this sort of like a really sad and gross cake recipe.

Step 1: I can feel it coming a mile away. So you think I would know what to do by now, since I have the ability to recognise all the signs. But I see it coming, and it still hits me by surprise every fucking time. I start to slowly isolate myself from my friends and family, and just tell everyone I’m feeling “under the weather”. Which isn’t exactly a downright lie, but it’s not the whole truth either. I start not wanting to talk to people, which is unlike myself, and begin to spend a lot of time at home, mostly in my room in bed. And that’s when the overthinking begins.

Step 2: I’ll get home from work one night, have a shower, go to bed and stay there for the next several days. I will only get up to eat, drink and to look after my pets. And sometimes when things are really dark, it’s even hard for me to do that. I start missing out on days at work, because the thought of leaving the safety of my own house is horrifying. Even though I’ve been living a somewhat normal life, the thought of what’s outside is enough to make me call in sick, and not leave my bed for days, even weeks at a time. To others, this may seem like pure laziness. That I don’t want to go to work and earn my keep, to have the freedom of a healthy wage, to see the people who make me the happiest. But it’s not laziness. It’s impossible. That’s what it is. Depression makes every day living impossible.

It gets harder and harder to keep going. And sometimes it feels easier to just give up, and that’s where step 3 comes in.

Step 3: Overthinking. Exhaustion. Paranoia. Three things that should probably never go together. Those things alone are enough to push some people to the edge, but you mash them all together and you have yourself one heck of a party. I think everyone who suffers from any type of mental illness knows what it feels like to overthink everything. Whether that’s your position at work, the integrity of the relationships in your life or even small and stupid things, such as, “I don’t think my dog loves me anymore”. I start to overthink everything, and suddenly things that were totally insignificant suddenly become super important.

I start to question if I’m a good person or not, and start to tell myself, maybe I deserve to feel like this, because if I was actually a decent person, I wouldn’t have these feelings. I look back at how I’ve treated people in the past, and wonder if I was a better friend, maybe I would feel less alone going through all of this, and I think for me, that’s my biggest downfall. I tell myself I deserve to be suffering every day, and no one actually gives a damn if I am, and it’s hard for people to help you when you can’t even help yourself.

Exhaustion basically comes in a “buy one get one free” type of deal, and it’s a damn vicious cycle to be in. You stress about every day living, and that makes you wide awake even at 4 in the morning. And then the next day, you’re even more tired, which makes you feel more stressed. To be honest, if I got enough sleep every night for the rest of my life, I feel like I would be able to cope a whole lot better. At the moment, I’m only getting a few hours of interrupted sleep every night, with waking up super early in the morning, and not being able to go back to sleep. Take into consideration I already take two different types of medication to aid with my sleep, but even that isn’t enough to keep me asleep the last couple of months.

Being exhausted makes life really difficult, especially when you work in a 24 hour, 7 days a week call centre for a somewhat prestigious and successful financial institution. No matter what I do, no matter the medication I take, nothing can help me sleep. I even shut off all my electronic devices, listen to audiobooks, yoga and medication and all the advice from professionals, sleep still evades me. The best “cure” for chronic insomnia I have found, is intense and consistent workouts throughout the day. A couple of nights ago I slept the best in a few months, and all it took was over an hour of tennis with no breaks, with leg day just before shower and bed. But working full time hours, on a rotating and every-changing roster, this is not always possible. So, I’m sort of left with doing the best I can with what I have, and that’s still kind of shit. Unfortunately I don’t have an answer for this solution as I still have not found a remedy for insomnia, even after suffering for more than 3 years. I promise to keep you posted if there’s ever a cure for this rubbish.

And then eventually comes paranoia. Once you’re sleep deprived, and been over thinking everything for a few weeks, you start to become paranoid. Nothing is what it seems, and no matter what people tell you, you just think they’re lying. There’s not much else to say about paranoia, as I’m sure you all know the broad definition. I would never wish that upon anything.

Step 4: Nearly the hardest part I’ll ever have to deal with. Self harm. Self mutilation. Basically physically hurting your own self, because your brain tells you too. I first started hurting myself when I was teenager. I used to buy those silver pencil sharpeners by the kilo, take out the blade and cut my wrists. Nothing to cause any type of actual harm, but any type of self self should be taken seriously, and investigated, no matter how stupid or in-effective it may be. They may not have been deep enough to be hospitalised or anything, but I do have several scars along my wrists that remind me every day of where I’ve come from.

As I got older though, these self harm habits became slightly more serious. I stopped cutting myself, as it was pretty inconvenient, and didn’t really hurt that much as an adult, so I began extinguishing my own cigarettes on my skin. This hurts a lot. And not only just for a little while, but for days after. Sometimes I’d hold the butt of the cigarette to my skin for so long, my skin would melt onto the cig. It caused infections, and severe bubbling, which looked like a blister that was filled with gross stuff. These scars will remain with me forever. They go from the very base of my wrist, all up the inside of my left forearm. These scars are the ones I am most ashamed of. For some reason, these scars represent my mental illness, and it is something I have to look at every day, and will do forever.

Along the same wrist, I have the word ‘strength’ tattooed there, to remind me when I see the scars, to always be strong, and if I can get through those times, then I can maybe keep doing it again.

I don’t struggle with that type of self harm anymore, but as I got older and began to take different types of prescription medication, I began to somewhat overdose on my tablets every now and then, not to actually kill myself, but to cause some type of pain in my body. It also helps me sleep away the days when I already haven’t slept for days at a time. I would still consider this as self harm, as you are deliberately doing harm to your soul, and your body. More than once, these acts of stupidness have ended up in hospital. Both times I had to stay overnight, get my heart monitored regularly, and then forced to go see a psychologist for wanting to harm myself.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, not all self harm are cuts and scars. Sometimes self harm can go unnoticed, and people have their ways of hiding it very well even from the closest to themselves. If you think your loved one is self harming in any way, I would advise to gently ask them about it, and get them to start talking about if they have any thoughts about doing harm to themselves. Don’t downright accuse of someone of self harming, as this does not go down well, trust me. If you think their lives are in danger, please seek medical attention as soon as possible.

Step 5. Suicide.

I hate this, I hate typing it, I hate saying it, I hate reading it. I hate everything about this fucking word. Not only because it’s heartbreaking for people who lose their friends and family due to it, but also because I’ve tried it. More than once. And not a whole lot of people know this. The first time I tried to kill myself, I took a whole bunch of my medication, mixed it with alcohol, prayed to all the gods that I would gently fall asleep, and never wake up. It’s not glamorous. It’s not entertaining, and it’s not something I’m fucking proud of.

The next time was only a few weeks ago. Everything was okay, and then I clocked off at work, went for a walk, took a lift to the roof of a building, stood on the edge and was ready to jump off, and die. I was up there, I took my engagement ring off, I left my phone on the ledge, and stared down at the concrete, really contemplating if this was going to be high enough to really end my life. And you know what stopped me? The thought of having someone find my body, and what that might do to their life, stopped me from jumping. Even in wanting to die, I didn’t want to inconvenience anyone with my dead body.

It’s horrible, it’s selfish, but it is what it is, and I can’t take back those actions or erase that afternoon from my life. I didn’t leave a note, and I was just going to leave everyone behind. I’m one of the luckier ones I guess, in that I get to move on with my life and try to heal the wounds I created myself.

If one your friends or loved ones are talking about wanting to hurt themselves, and it doesn’t matter how, you need to be there for them no matter how hard it is on you, because I can guarantee it’s harder for them right now, and if you feel like you ever need support, please know there are actual decent humans out there who will care if you die, and will do nearly everything possible to save your life.

#depression mentalillness anxiety writing hardlife

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thisdaynews · 5 years

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Australian Open: Sofia Kenin thanks dad after maiden Grand Slam title

New Post has been published on https://thebiafrastar.com/australian-open-sofia-kenin-thanks-dad-after-maiden-grand-slam-title/

Australian Open: Sofia Kenin thanks dad after maiden Grand Slam title

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Highlights: Kenin beats Muguruza to win Australian Open

2020 Australian Open Venue:Melbourne ParkDates:20 January to 2 February Coverage:Listen on BBC Radio 5 Live Sports Extra and online; Live text on selected matches on the BBC Sport website and app; Watch highlights on BBC Two and BBC iPlayer.

When Sofia Kenin was closing in on her maiden Grand Slam title, her dad could barely watch.

Alex Kenin’s face was contorted with tension and then covered with his hands as he hunched forward nervously on his seat.

This was the moment they had dreamed of ever since she picked up a racquet aged five and became a child prodigy who hit with the stars.

When Kenin’s 4-6 6-2 6-2 win over Garbine Muguruza in the Australian Open final was complete, the 21-year-old American raced around the net to the opposite corner of the court to tenderly grasp the hand of her father, who is also her coach.

She says they both asked each other what had just happened.

Two hours or so later, with the Daphne Akhurst trophy on the table and a glass of Champagne in her hand, she had a simple message to the man who gave her the “American dream”.

“Just thank you to him. We can share this forever,” said Kenin.

Alex, a quiet Russian who moved to New York in 1987, responded by using his two index fingers to draw a smile on his face.

“He saw I had talent and we said ‘let’s just go for it and do this professionally for my life’,” said Kenin, who will rise to seventh in the world when the rankings are updated on Monday.

“He knows what he is talking about and comes up with the right plans and the right strategies. He just knows it.

“He did it by learning the whole experience. He is crazy smart.”

Sofia Kenin (left) and father Alexander, who made many sacrifices in order to help his daughter’s career

What makes Kenin’s rise remarkable is the fact her dad has guided her all the way there as a self-taught coach with little background in the sport.

Alex drove one of New York City’s iconic yellow cabs before becoming a computer consultant, then took over as her coach when his daughter’s career became more serious.

He played tennis “just for fun” in his younger days back home in Moscow and Crimea but says he did not play “well”.

It was apparent his daughter, who Alex and wife Svetlana took to be born back in Russia before returning to Manhattan shortly afterwards, was a special talent.

She quickly became a star in the States, featuring on television programmes and the covers of magazines which labelled her as a future Grand Slam champion.

Famously, aged seven, she claimed she would be able to return a serve from hard-hitting American star Andy Roddick, then practised with the likes of Grand Slam champions John McEnroe, Venus Williams and Kim Clijsters.

The WTA posted a video this week of four-time Grand Slam singles champion Clijsters giving a tour to a then six-year-old Kenin, with the Belgian saying “who knows, she might be one of the new big stars”.

Quickly she rose through the junior ranks, with two-time Grand Slam champion Naomi Osaka even saying recently that Kenin “killed it” during those years.

The constant by her side has been her dad, who says he was never tempted to hire a ‘professional’ coach.

“She was always number one at 12, 14, 16, 18. So why change a good thing?” said Alex, who thanked journalists for their “attention” after he spoke to them.

His daughter has become the youngest Australian Open champion since Maria Sharapova in 2008 and the eighth woman to become a first-time Grand Slam winner in the past 12 events.

As with Japanese 22-year-old Osaka and 19-year-old Canadian Bianca Andreescu before her, she has become the latest young star to leave the world wondering if she can go on to dominate the game.

Throw American 15-year-old Coco Gauff, who Kenin impressively beat in the last 16 in Melbourne, into the mix and the future of the women’s game looks bright.

“I saw what Naomi and Bianca achieved and I really wanted to achieve that,” said Kenin, whose given name is Sofia but is known by its diminutive Sonya – the name of Alex’s mother – at home.

“It gave me a big boost, big motivation.

“My dad was telling me: ‘It is great for them and you can really achieve this too’.

“I’ve seen women’s tennis is changing. We can all play each other on any given day and there can be a lot of damage happening.”

Muguruza, a two-time Grand Slam champion, can testify as to the damage Kenin can cause.

The American’s relentless returning, ability to execute under pressure and an insatiable will-to-win ground down the Spaniard, who led by a set before being mentally and physically worn down in Saturday’s final in Melbourne.

Kenin swung the match her way with a monumental hold from 3-2 40-0 down in the third set.

Two backhands down the line under the most intense of pressure were outrageous, a third winner – this time down the other flank – almost ridiculous.

An ace out wide and a crosscourt forehand winner – after drawing Muguruza into the net – clinched the hold. It also virtually clinched the championship.

Muguruza crumbled from that point, producing three double faults – including one on match point – in what proved to be the final game.

“I knew I needed to come up with the five best shots of my life. I mean, let’s go!” laughed Kenin, who plans to spend some of her £2.1m winnings in luxury jewellery stores in Melbourne.

Growing up in the affluent Manhattan neighbourhood of Upper East Side, she says she is a “typical blonde girl” from that area.

“I’m into all those fancy stores,” said Kenin, who has almost doubled her previous career winnings of £2.9m.

“I like to have that luxurious life. I’ve worked so hard for it. it’s super exciting and I get to do what I want.”

That she is able to do that is down to father Alex and mother Svetlana, who was back home in Florida with Kenin’s grandma, sister and dogs.

Kenin said her mum cannot watch her matches because she gets too nervous.

“I called her right after the match just to tell her that everything’s fine, I won, she can just relax now,” said Kenin, who mouthed “Oh my God! Look at all these people” when she walked into a packed media room.

“I told her I’m not going to be able to talk to you for hours, but at least you know that I won.

“I’m coming home, you can give me the biggest hug of your life.”

Although the rest of the Kenin family could see exactly what was happening on Rod Laver Arena through the television pictures, Alex melted the hearts of more than a few people who watched him film his daughter’s maiden Grand Slam acceptance speech on his mobile phone.

Afterwards, sitting alone in a quiet media area and going through countless messages on the same device, he had a confession to make.

“It didn’t go too well, I didn’t press record properly,” he laughed.

It was probably the only mistake he has made this fortnight.

Kenin wins maiden Grand Slam

Kenin v Muguruza – as it happened

Live scores, schedule and results

Alerts: Get tennis news sent to your phone

#Grand #title

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onlinethoughtsandscribbles · 5 years

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The Girl Who Beats Boys

I have just realized that the reason I have been told sometimes that I tend to think like a man, and that during most of my life, I have mostly had more boys than girls as friends, is the fact that I have mainly been raised by men as a kid.

My mum died when I was just about 5 or 6 months old, my dad had been living as a man in a foreign country for almost 10 years, he had a lot of friends there though, some of them were Egyptian, some weren't, and only a few of them had wives. So it pretty much just me and my dad for about 6 days a week, and during some weekends, it was me and all of them.

The situation stayed like that for about 4 years, then he got married, and during their first months of marriage, I stayed a lot at both my uncles' homes, which was in the same building, so technically, I was still around.

Each of my uncles had two boys as sons, they were a lot older than I was, and they were all very different. Both brothers were pretty much the opposite in everything; it was just a constant competition all the time. Everyone had a different favorite singer that they kept defending all the time and fighting about, they both cheered for different football teams as well.

God, I remember watching tons of matches, and of course, the day that every single Egyptian remembers just like it was yesterday. The very famous 6-1 humiliation, fuck, that day was just crazy. I still cannot believe the constant adrenaline rush, the mixed feeling I have received by watching 4 different reactions that was all equally epic!

I still remember my cousin screaming with cheers with every goal, he was laughing like such a maniac, as if he has turned to a Joker, and the other one was getting more blue and silent with every goal, and eventually tearing up. It was such a mess!

I used to play video games a lot too, whatever it is, you name it, and I know I will have played it. It was my most favorite time of the day, going into daily adventures and helping my heroes defeat all evils. Oh, the rush it brought me with every single victory! It was indispensable!

I played a lot with boys too as a kid, we used to play hide and seek, running games, ball games, throw and catch, basketball, table tennis, all of it. I was kind of their partner during play time, cause I was really fast, at some point in upper elementary grade years, I used to be a part of a trio group with two other boys, we used to play basketball in school. I used to beat them a lot too, even in arm wrestling! :D And any running based game was my edge, I was unbeatable and I was well-known for it. They didn't like to get beaten though; sometimes they took it too personal.

And I still remember that even though as a kid, I was somehow beautiful and also very smart and funny, I was rarely picked by a cool boy. They always liked other girls, and they were mostly girls that almost never play during break times, you know those who are mostly shy and have pretty smiles and a nicely done hair? Yeah, that was mainly how they looked like, but gosh they were so damn boring, they do nothing, they didn't like to read, play video games or even actual games. "What's fun about that?" was the question I always asked myself about them and never found the answer to. I guess some of them might have liked using coloring books though, maybe use nail polish and different glittery pens. Yet, they never read comics either, and I used to be one of those top comic collectors, so it was just something crazy for a fan like me.

Unlike the boys my age, all the men in my family were always super proud and crazy about me, they were decent men. They were the kind of family that wants the best for you, always shows you of, and has very high hopes and expectations in you. They were truly content and happy with every success that I have ever made, they used to rush in on the same day of any good news concerning me just to cheer for me and congratulate me. Whenever some of my family came over, I also remember liking to sit around with my dad than with the rest of the women and their kids after we're done eating. I liked listening to their conversations, and whenever I had something to say, they always listened and even considered my point of view. They were good men, some of the very last. I still remember what my uncle has told me on his death bed too, he said that I am very unique and special; he said I should be more confident, and even arrogant when needed. He also said I should be careful while choosing a man.

And you know what I have concluded? Most boys were actually intimated. They didn’t like the idea that a girl could beat them, even if it was just a game. They were never actually okay with the idea that it's possible to lose to a girl, so while we were young and innocent, they just preferred to keep me as a friend or even avoid me, so it was always pretty clear to me, I never had any false expectations, things were predictable, so it was fine.

But as we got older and started wearing masks, things began to change. They didn’t need to avoid me anymore, if I am that good at something that I do, maybe they could make use of it instead of avoiding me. And if they can't use it or they don’t really want to, there was always a lot of competition, they have always felt challenged, and I guess sometimes small. I was never demeaning though, I was just the way I am, and sometimes it was too much.

The men in my family were different, they were always happy to show me off, they have always whole-heartedly wished me the best of luck in life, they were the exact opposite of almost all the boys I have known.

So let's just say that some boys don't ever grow up to be men, they stay boys. And the above are all signs of how they might act and what they might do. Maybe this knowledge could help open our eyes a little bit.

#BoysWillBeBoys

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cockapoohq · 7 years

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What is the name and age of your Cockapoo and why did you choose that name?

Her name is Luna, she is an apricot cockapoo and she’s 2 in three months’ time. Me and my boyfriend had a list of names ranging from Willow, Twix, Autumn to Sansa Bark and Tails (Sonic’s sidekick). We kept deleting ones from the list, both of us had different ideas on what her name could be, but in the end, we realised the only one we both agreed on was Luna. It suits her, and when we decided on it we hadn’t met any other dogs called Luna, now they seem to be everywhere.

Does your dog have a silly nickname that you have given them and what’s the story behind it?

Luna Long Bottom! This started as she needed a haircut. She doesn’t have a lot of curls so it wasn’t obvious she needed a trim until you see her long haired bottom

She gets ‘Lunes’ or maybe it’s spelt ‘Loons’ a lot too.

Can we have one of your favourite images of your Cockapoo please? Let us know why its one of your favourites.

I love this photo, she was only 5 months old when it was taken. She looks so happy. She loves to get mucky and covered in mud and here in this photo she has spent the day the way she would love to spend everyday – rolling around with her brother (same litter) and getting into trouble.

Does your Cockapoo sleep in a crate, or do they sleep upstairs with you on the bed? What were your reasons for your choice?

She’s done every sleeping arrangement. For the first 2 weeks of us getting her, she was in a crate. But she is quite clever and figured out how to open the gate, and managed to lock herself out of the crate with all her food/water/bedding in. The next night we gave her free reign over the living room and that worked for a while.

At 18 months old, every few nights she would wake us in the early hours barking. If one of us dared nip to the loo in the middle of the night it meant that you would have to sleep the rest of the night downstairs as she would howl and bark. It was getting us down and was stressful. I spent way too many hours in bed desperate for the loo but unwilling to go as I knew it would wake her.

We gave in! Finally, after 18 months it was too much hassle, we let her upstairs to sleep. She had won!

Luckily, she was an angel upstairs, she snuggles in-between us and with the exception of the odd kiss from her in the middle of the night, she sleeps right through.

She still gets excited at bed time and trots about on the bed, proud that she is finally getting what she has always wanted. We’re all sleeping much better now. Sometimes my boyfriend can go downstairs in the morning, have breakfast and be awake for hours, and she will stay in bed with me. The only con I can say with her sleeping in the bed is her smelly trumps, but she’s cute so she gets away with trying to suffocate us with her toxic gas.

What is the first thing your Cockapoo does in the mornings when you wake up? (Any bed head photos welcome!)

She usually does a little army crawl towards the top of the bed and then just snuggles and kisses me. Sometimes if I don’t wake up she brings me her favourite ball. I’m keep waking up to a tennis ball at the side of my neck and can’t figure out why she brings me one?

Here is her waking up early as we were all going on holiday. I think she wanted to snooze for a little bit longer.

What food do they eat? Are they on dry food? Wet food? Or a raw diet?

She has Lilly’s Kitchen wet tinned food. They’re not like the tinned food I remember as a kid that would make you gag when you open them. Lilly’s Kitchen looks really nice, you can see proper veg and in all honesty, smells quite nice too! We’ve tried her on different tinned dog food, but all the rest have given her a funny tummy.

She has treats too! Sometimes it can be chicken with gravy, sometimes steak (cause she’s spoilt). I allow her to have human treats too, I grew up with dogs and was use that they get a little bit of what you’re having (obviously, so long as it isn’t toxic to them).

She can be fussy, she loves having a bit of my toast, but only if it has butter on, if its marg she snubs it!

What’s their favourite food that they just can’t resist?

She loves cold food, she loves the Doggy Frozen Yogurt on a hot day, and will beg for ice cubes. When doing training with her we found out that she will do anything for a bit of steak/lamb, so we had to use that for a high value treat.

Has your dog been on holiday, if so, where and did they enjoy it? Do you have dog holidays planned?

She’s been away three times. I would recommend CanineCottages.co.uk – so far the cottages that we have booked through them have been clean (a must for me, just because I have a dog, does not mean I want to holiday in a place that smells like dog!) perfect locations and Luna has loved them!

We’ve had two summer holidays, one was close to beach were we took Luna every day, and one winter holiday were she got to enjoy acres of woodland and snoozing in front of a log burner.

What’s their favourite toy and why?

She adores her Chuckit ball – she only plays with it when we take her to a field as she loves it so much we don’t want her to lose it. It’s bright orange so easier to see and heavier than a tennis ball so you can ‘chuck it’ further, it seems to fit with most throwers too.

What’s the hardest thing about living with a Cockapoo?

I grew up with dogs, but Luna is my first dog where I am the mum. My boyfriend has never had a pet before, even when growing up. We don’t have children so suddenly having someone else to take care of was tough. The first year was so hard. We loved her, but we were so keen to be the best dog owners that we forgot about ourselves. We have now found a nice routine that suits us all.

The truly hardest part is the worry, if she’s licking her paw too much, we can’t just simply ask her if she is okay, and have to make do with the limited information we have to make the decision to take her to the vets or not. In those situations, I wish she could talk and tell us if she’s hurt.

What’s the best thing about living with a Cockapoo?

There are so many, the joy she gets playing fetch makes you go out even in the coldest weather. How contented you feel just snuggling with her and looking into her eyes.

She loves unconditionally – she doesn’t care if I’ve put on a few pounds and my hair is stuck up from sleep, she’s just happy to see me. It doesn’t matter to her that you’re having a bad day and your being snappy, she will just jump up and plonk herself in your lap and demand tummy tickles and kisses until you’re smiling again. The best thing about living with a cockapoo is being loved so much by them.

Tell us a bit about what happens to your Cockapoo during the day? Are they left alone? If so, how long? Do you use doggy dare care or a dog walker? Do you take them to the field, or prefer to take them for walks?

We’re lucky, my boyfriend works from home all week but he goes out to the gym so she’s never got someone at home 24/7. He’s with her most of the day Monday’s and Friday’s, on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s she goes doggy daycare and I work from home on Wednesday’s. I mainly take her to a field to play fetch as she still pulls on her lead and I have a bad back which sets off if I walk her too much. Every night my boyfriend takes her for a long walk too. She’s always out and about, has a better social life than me! We both have brilliant parents who love dog sitting, so if we go anywhere at the weekend it’s rare that she is left too long. Actually, we need to arrange times for her to be alone as she gets quite clingy if she gets use to someone constantly being with her, so on some weekends we will nip out for breakfast without her to ensure she gets some alone time.

Where is their favourite place to go for a walk?

As her favourite thing to do is play fetch, I think she would say a dog friendly beach. She loves the beach and will spend all day there playing if she could.

What advice would you give to someone looking into getting a cockapoo?

The first year is the hardest. It’s like having a baby, you truly have to want a dog and be prepared to put them first. I was covered in bite marks and scratches and some days it was really tough, even though I loved every inch of her!

Cockapoo’s need a good amount of exercise and get covered in mud quite easily. I know most cockapoo owners sing their praises and I’ve seen people refer to them as ‘Wonder Dogs’ who are perfect for everyone, are hypoallergenic and don’t molt.

It’s not true, Luna molts (a stupid amount!), I’m assuming she could cause allergic reactions. No dog breed is a ‘wonder dog’ that will fit in with everyone’s lifestyle. I think its dangerous to promote them as such, as then possibly someone not ready for a cockapoo will get one and feel like they’re bad as they are struggling coping when everyone else is saying cockapoos are ‘perfect’.

Research loads, find out how often people need to take them to the groomers and how much it costs? Can you take them out twice a day and possibly bath them as they always seem to attract mud? Dog food can be super expensive now, can you afford it? What would you do if you want to go abroad on holiday? Is the person who will be dog sitting active enough to take care of a cockapoo?

I absolutely adore my Luna to bits, but I think it’s best for Cockapoo owners to be brutally honest with people. If you don’t have much time to take them out walking, maybe a smaller dog my suit your lifestyle better?

Research lots of different breeds to see the difference. Join facebook groups and see what people are asking in them. It could be that you don’t have the time to have a puppy, if so, that’s fine, there are lots of older dogs in shelters that need a home. Whichever route you choose, remember that if it was super easy to have a dog, everyone would have one. And to finish on a happy note, the love you get from them is amazing. I wish we could all live in the moment the way dogs do!

What was the last photo of your dog that you took?

Luna, loving the snow!

The post Cockapoo owner interview with Emma and Luna appeared first on Cockapoo HQ.

#cockapoo

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mylifeashannablog-blog · 7 years

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The story of J and me - continued

Buongiorno,

I’m back, yet again, to continue, and hopefully finish, the story of J and me.

We left off when I first met J on the pontoon. That wasn’t the only time I saw him that day though.

Every afternoon, I would head down to the beach at 2:30pm for Beach volleyball and touch footie. However, that day, J was also there for it which was unusual.

I’m not sure whether he’d seen me there before and he wanted to see me again or he just simply decided to go that day. Either way, he was there and so was I.

I wasn’t very good at it but the best thing was, I didn’t even care. I was with him and I was happy and that’s all that mattered.

What I only realised later was at that point, J’s little brothers had run to their parents and said ‘J has a girlfriend!’. Not gonna lie, although I was happy I understand that he probably was slightly embarrassed. Just a little bit.

I headed up to the table tennis room (aka teen lounge) with one of the guys from the sports shed (let’s call him M) to see if I could finally defeat him in table tennis. Halfway through our game, J walked through the door and asked to play the winner.

I won.

Yet again, I had never seen J in the teen lounge, even though he was a teen, so I was left wondering the same thing:

Did he come because of me?

There was no end to our game. It just went on and on and on. Eventually, M realised that he had no chance of playing again and headed off.

So it was just me and J. Interesting.

I reckon we played for a solid hour before getting bored and taking a break. We both knew we wanted to head down to the beach and jump in the water.

So he asked me if I wanted to go kayaking. And so I said yes.

When I asked my dad if I could go kayaking, he told me that I could as long as he could see me at all times. I told J and he was cool with it. I think that was one of the things I respected about J - he never judged what my parents would and wouldn’t let me do.

So we went kayaking and although short, it was the most fun I had had in a long time. And, I completely forgot about L.

That was an accomplishment.

After that, I didn’t see him again that night. It didn’t mean that I didn’t think about him though.

In fact, that was one of the only things I could do

The next day was pretty awesome. I didn’t see him in the morning cause he was on a school visit but that afternoon was incredible.

I found him in the teen lounge after lunch and we played table tennis until his little brothers came bounding in. That was when I met W and R (that’s what we’ll call them for now).

Then his mum came in offering ice-cream. She offered everyone else and then unexpectedly, she offered me too. I said yes (of course) - don’t worry I still used my manners! What I didn’t know was that she already knew who I was - I just hadn’t really met her yet.

After ice-cream, we headed down to the beach for volleyball and touch footie. That was when I met J’s mum (we’ll call her O). She was super nice but I think she realised something was going on.

Funny thing was, she was absolutely fine with it. In fact, later on, she kept encouraging it. It was a bit awkies tho.

After getting really hot in touch footie, we decided to go for a swim again. We went kayaking first and I met his dad (let’s call him C) who was also super nice. He also knew who I was.

Just a little bit strange.

While we were kayaking, I mentioned stand up paddle boarding. So sure enough, we kayaked back to shore and hopped on a paddle board.

The same paddle board.

So here comes one of the disadvantages of having a friend who’s 5’11”.

Paddleboarding is extremely hard.

Yes, we fell off four times. Yes, it was mostly his fault. But yes, it was amazing.

I think that was one of the best moments with J that holiday. And even better, that was just the beginning of our paddle boarding trips.

W (J’s lil bro) told me later that all the adults were saying it was ‘romantic’ that we always fell off together. I had to correct him and tell him that it wasn’t romantic - if the board wobbles and one of us fall off, the other one can’t balance so they fall off too.

Basically, we fall off because we both suck at balancing.

That night, he finally came down to the teen lounge after dinner (he never used to) and we had such a fun time.

Afterwards, we headed down to the beach and played games, most of which involved me attempting to defend him throwing the ball and me failing at doing so.

I think that was when our parents started to realise how much fun we had together.

Okay so, unfortunately, I have to tell you the rest of this tomorrow cause it’s getting kinda late (I know - I’m not running to catch a bus today!).

I’ll try to finish it tomorrow but as we all know, it’s probably not gonna happen so I’m not gonna make any promises.

Ludges you to the moon and back

Hanna

#romance #love #holidayromance #heartbreak

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peachhplum · 7 years

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The Real Reason I Learned To Appreciate Home

// Sponsored by State Farm (my social media fee was donated to Habitat for Humanity) and all views are, as always, my own.

“As I built my house, I built myself.” – Habitat for Humanity Homeowner

Since I started blogging almost a decade ago, I’ve been asked countless times where my love for design and the home came from. I’ve always answered that it stemmed from discovering an issue of a British design mag, Livingetc, at a petrol (gas!) station while my mum filled up the car with fuel. I was twelve years old, and completely captivated with all things décor and design from that first issue onwards. I remember it like it was yesterday. However, it wasn’t in that moment that I learned to love and appreciate my home. That story starts differently.

It was a cold winter Saturday, early in 1998, in the midst of a British winter. I was eleven years old, Titanic was dominating, well, just about everything, and I had woken up at a friend’s house. I had stayed over the previous night following a visit to the movies to see, you guessed it, Titanic. I remember my friend being upset with his parents because they wouldn’t let us head out to play football (I was secretly relieved because I hated playing football!). Instead, his parents said we had to drive me back home. I didn’t think much of it as I just figured they had things to do as a family that day. Plus, no football so, hey, I wasn’t complaining.After 45 minutes, we pulled up to our family home (pictured above as it is today under new ownership; I don’t have a digital picture of the house because it was the days of disposable cameras) and I immediately spotted my gran’s car parked in the drive. My gran and I have always been very close and so to see that she was unexpectedly visiting filled me with excitement. “Way more fun than football,” I thought to myself as I said my “thank yous” and jumped out the car, rushing as fast as my feet would take me to the front porch. Key in the door. Shoes kicked off by the doormat. Through the hallway, past the flowers on the entry table and into the kitchen…That’s when my excitement was immediately crushed. I saw my mum hunched over the apron sink sobbing.

The previous night while I’d been at the sleepover, her husband of twenty years and my dad of eleven years had decided to leave our family so he could start a new life with his mistress, the woman with whom he’d been having an affair for six months. He hadn’t even had the courage to say goodbye to me; we didn’t see or hear from him again for six months.

It had been a shock to us all, as there were no signs that my parents were unhappy. We were fortunate enough to lead a very privileged life: my mum and dad worked hard to afford to send us to good schools, we enjoyed a week-long family holiday every year in Europe, Christmases were spent as a family by the inglenook fireplace, and summers were spent playing tennis on the lawn. It was as idyllic as it sounds.The house was located in a charming village deep within the English countryside. My bedroom window overlooked rolling fields, mooing cows and there was often the distant, comforting hum of a tractor, dog barking or flock of birds tweeting. Gran would come to stay and we would walk her dog, Bruno, for hours down country lanes and across the fields. Despite being nearly sixty years apart in age, we would laugh and chat for hours on end. When she was staying I would run downstairs to her room every morning and jump under the covers to chat and I would pretend I liked drinking coffee so I would feel more grown up! I look back to those times – the unaltered, naive bliss of childhood – with misty-eyed warmth. I treasure those memories and realize just how lucky I was to live in such a safe and loving environment during those early years of childhood.

But, and with the sincere hope it won’t sound melodramatic, that winter Saturday in 1998 when I arrived home to find our family broken apart, that was day that my childhood ended. It was that day that the calm and comforting place I had known as home changed forever. Lying in bed that night I remember shivering at the unknown that lay ahead.The years that followed were turbulent to say the least. My poor mum was, understandably, wracked with grief and my teenager brother was old enough to escape the house and deal with the emotions in his own way, in his own time. As a pre-teen I was confined to the house. As a result had to grow up super-fast and learn to deal with lots of situations that even now as a thirty-year-old adult, can be hard to think about. It’s not my place to share the full details of what happened over those tumultuous years, and arguably there would be little to be gained from doing so, but suffice to say that home was not the safe sanctuary it had been.

Yet, despite all the challenges and heartache of that time period in my life I still had a physical home to go to. And you know what? I should have been more grateful for that. I should have acted out less; been more grateful for what I did have. I feel as though I took for granted just how fortunate I was to have a physical space to protect me.As the years passed, I grew older, gained independence, (came out, but that’s a whole other blog post!), moved to a new city to attend university and that’s where I met my now husband. Since we graduated we’ve moved a lot (not least to a whole new country!) but I’ve always placed a big emphasis on creating a homely, welcoming and calm space for us both to call home. From the memories of my early childhood years, I knew how great home could feel when it was a happy, loving and safe space. I finally had the opportunity to recreate that feeling of true contentment and security by creating a home with the love of my life.

I now realize that over the twelve years my heartmate and I have lived together, we’ve not just been building a home together but I’ve been building myself, too. The physicality of ‘safeness’ that comes from having four solid walls to call home is so much more than the obvious physical security the home itself affords you. It’s also the emotional bedrock that comes alongside the physical security of your own home brings. The knowledge that you always have somewhere safe to return. It’s a space filled with the fabric of your life: the things and the people you love. There are ups, there are downs, but through it all there’s one constant: the security of your home.I found myself recalling the memories I’ve shared here as I sat at the recent Habitat for Humanity dinner in NYC listening to Clive Rainey, HFH First Volunteer, recall a conversation he had with a Habitat for Humanity homeowner. She was a single mum who was raising her son living in a domestic abuse shelter: her husband had beaten her and said she was useless. She said that the moment she first picked up the hammer on the site of her Habitat for Humanity home she was helping to build, she realized she had the power to change her future, and build a life and safe sanctuary – a home – for her and her son. “As I built my house, I built myself,” she said.

As I heard this story, I reflected on my own experiences and how beyond fortunate I feel to have found the man I adore, to live in the city I love and to have spent the last twelve years creating and building my own safe sanctuary – our home. (I’ve shared pictures from some of those homes throughout this post.) And I thought about how moved I was to do more to help their cause to bring safe and secure homes to people in local communities in New York City. As well as donating my social media fee from State Farm to share my experience of being part of Neighborhood of Good®, I’m going to be volunteering my time to makeover a community center in New York City in time for the holidays.The story of that single mum who, despite all of her horrific experiences, found renewed spirit and opportunity to create a home for her and her son, was thanks to the amazing work of Habitat for Humanity and their volunteers. I sat at the dinner and thought to myself how privileged I have been to re-discover the joy of those early childhood years and build a happy, safe home of my own as an adult. Now, I have the opportunity to play a small part in bringing that priceless feeling of ‘home’ to others in my community. And you can too. Please join me in getting involved and consider signing up to volunteer at your local Habitat for Humanity chapter, or donate to support their amazing work. I’m, looking forward to sharing lots more of my experiences volunteering for Habitat for Humanity in the coming months, too!

// Photography by Will Taylor, bar images 1, 4 & 5 which were taken by Andrew Boyd for Bright.Bazaar

#home decoration #interior design #floor care

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