#cellbit gets too into work on his office and roier likes to be on the outside

[kindlykolorful]

#AskPiratesAU

Captains, did you get any backlash from crewmates about your relationship?

Were any (Dead)past crewmates homophobic and vocal about it?

Yeah... some people didn't agree with me suddenly coming to the ship and becoming captain. There was a little group that wanted to question it, I don't think they were specifically worried about we being a couple but more of me becoming a captain, but they sure said some offensive stuff behind our backs!

Well, they made a very good stew for Cellbit! I prepared it with a lot of love despite it all.

[anonymous-dentist]

The following story is inspired by actual documented accounts.

-

I was first introduced to Agent Cellbit upon the request of Agent Elena....

-

"How aware are you of Agent Cellbit?"

The office is dead silent. There's the clock on Elena's desk, stopped. There's Elena's breathing, and Roier's.

It's... awkward.

But Roier shrugs and answers with an easy smile on his face: "I've heard of him. He's some kind of genius, right? He's solved, like, all of your cases for you since you recruited him. He's the Enigma Guy."

Elena's left eye twitches slightly. The man with the cigarette turns towards the window.

"You're right," Elena says. "But, recently, he's gone... weird."

"He's always been kind of weird, though, right?" Roier asks.

"Yes, but now he's." She lets out a breath, clasps her hands in front of her on her desk, looks Roier in the eyes. "What do you know about the X-Files, Agent Roier?"

Roier blinks, confused. "They're cases the Federation doesn't want to deal with because they're too weird. Aliens and stuff, right?"

Elena nods. "The unexplained and impossible. But they're what Agent Cellbit has become obsessed with, and now he won't work on any actual cases. We would like you to complete a psychological profile of him and determine whether or not he's still fit for duty."

It's Roier's turn to nod. Of course, right. He's the psychologist... technically. He does more crime-fighting than psychoanalyzing these days, but he can do both. He's great at multitasking.

The man with the cigarette doesn't turn away from the window. His hair, pure white, shines in the sunlight.

Roier stares at him. Who is this guy?

Elena clears her throat, says, "We would prefer it if you didn't let Agent Cellbit know that he's being monitored."

"Of course," Roier responds. No shit.

He isn't an amateur. He's a FBI agent! He's got this!

-

Agent Cellbit is in the basement along with the X-Files themselves. He has his own office, and he's never interrupted. He doesn't have a partner, unlike most other agents, and he's become so reclusive recently that people are starting to think that he's dead.

But, no, he's alive.

"I can't believe that they think I'm crazy," Cellbit scoffs.

He's alive, and he's short. He's about at the same height as Roier's chin, but he more than makes up for it with how freaking cool his hair is. The white streak in his bangs goes down through his eyebrow, eyelashes, and his facial hair. And his eyes, they're so blue that he can probably see into another dimension. (Not that those are real.)

He's dressed neatly, at least: he's following bureau policy save for the lack of a tie and a pair of hiking boots where a pair of standard loafers should be. He has a pair of reading glasses pushed up in his hair, and he looks exhausted, and he's exactly who Roier had been picturing through all the rumors.

Cellbit isn't looking at Roier. He's rummaging through a bunch of papers on his mess of a desk, instead. He's pissed, and for good reason! His bosses think he's nuts!

Roier doesn't argue. He didn't mean for Cellbit to see through his lie of being his new partner, but he didn't not expect it; Agent Cellbit is a genius, everybody knows it.

"I'm not crazy," Cellbit says. He turns and points a finger at Roier. "Don't put that in your report. Crazy people always say that they aren't."

He goes back to his desk before Roier can say anything.

Roier rolls his eyes. Wow, rude!

He looks around the office. There are posters plastered across every inch of every wall, each one with something absolutely insane on it: aliens, UFOs, werewolves, vampires. There's even something that looks like the Loch Ness Monster that Cellbit has labeled 'MERMAID?????' in big red letters.

"Since you're here," Cellbit sighs, finally finding what he wanted on his desk and grabbing it, "can I get your opinion on something? Psychology really isn't my thing anymore."

Okay, that's a lie, Roier read Cellbit's profile before heading to the basement. Prior to becoming a Federation employee, Cellbit was a detective specializing in violent crime. He was, and debatably still is, an expert in criminal psychology. He can just get into killers' heads and figure them out, and, honestly? Roier's jealous. Just a little.

Just a little.

Reaching over and poking at his laptop's track pad, Cellbit opens a PowerPoint presentation that projects itself onto the wall behind Roier.

Roier turns to look at it. And he's immediately met with a photo of a dead girl in a pile of leaves. Blood is streaking down her nose, and her eyes are shut. She's in her pajamas.

"Elisangela Neide," says Cellbit, "the fourth person to die in this exact way, in this exact location."

He taps to the next slide. This photo is (presumably) of the victim's back, and two raised bumps next to each other on it.

"But," Cellbit continues, "she is the first to have been discovered with these marks on her lower back."

"Mosquito bites," Roier immediately says. "Look at the forest she's in, it's gotta be full of mosquitos."

"Sure, but they aren't mosquito bites." (Cellbit clicks to the next slide.) "See this? It's the chemical formula for the compound found around the marks."

The formula is... weird. Roier didn't pass chemistry on his first try, but he knows something organic when he sees it. This is organic, definitely, but-

"And," Cellbit continues, "we might already have the killer on record."

He clicks to the next slide and moves to stand next to Roier. The file in his hands is open and showing the same mugshot that's on the presentation: a young man with blank eyes staring at the camera.

Roier shudders. Creepy.

"Here's why this case is with the X-Files," Cellbit explains. "The killer claims to have been working under the orders of aliens."

Roier gives Cellbit a look. "Aliens aren't real. We'd know if they were."

"Unless the government was hiding them from us, but, sure, keep believing that."

"Whatever. If we know the killer, why is the case still open?"

"Because he was in a coma when the four murders happened. Despite that, his fingerprints were found on three of the four bodies, and he's gone to the police in his city almost daily since waking up from his coma saying that he's the killer."

...Huh.

Roier takes another look at the file in Cellbit's hands. Missa Muerto, what a fucking name. Was in a coma for four years after a car accident, has been awake for two weeks, woke up the day after the discovery of Elisangela Neide's body. Fingerprints were not found on her body, but were found on the previous three victims'.

"Weird," Roier comments. He looks back up at Cellbit, meeting his eyes and smiling. "So, are we going?"

Cellbit frowns and backs away slightly, pulling the file close to his chest.

"You aren't actually my partner, you know," he says.

"No, I am. I'm just also here to make sure you're doing your job."

"And psychoanalyzing me."

"Maybe, maybe not. But that isn't important. What is important," Roier says, gesturing towards Missa's projected mugshot, "is bringing the actual killer to justice. Whether it's this guy or not, we need to figure out what's going on."

"...You still think he's the killer?"

"I won't know until I get to interview him myself. Soooo... let's go?"

Cellbit stares at him for a second before turning away with a small huff of laughter. "You really are a psychologist."

And Roier chooses to take it as a compliment. Finally, he's getting some appreciation!

-

Missa Muerto is currently being held in custody in a psychiatric facility in his home city, and so that's where Roier makes Cellbit take him first.

But, before they get to the hospital, their car stops right in the middle of the road.

Roier, driving, groans and slams his foot against the gas pedal a few times. "Come on!"

Cellbit's eyes are wide, and his reading glasses are on, and the case file is in his lap.

He leaves his glasses and the file behind and clambers out of the car, ignoring Roier's questioning noises.

Rolling his eyes, Roier gets out and follows Cellbit around to the trunk of the car. He watches as Cellbit opens the trunk, digs around a little, and pulls out a shiny orange can of spray paint.

Cellbit takes three big steps backwards, nearly trips on his own shoelace, turns around, and paints a big orange 'X' over the road.

"Electronic interference is a classic sign of alien activity," he explains.

"Yeah, or we just have a shitty car," Roier snorts. "Come on, help me push this thing."

Just as he turns around, the car starts back up again. All by itself.

"See? Aliens," Cellbit insists. "Missa is right."

He heads back to the car, but Roier lingers just for a moment. He stares at the car, and then he looks up at the sky.

Nothing.

-

They finally manage to meet with Missa, and the first thing Missa does is insist that Roier and Cellbit both prove that they don't have anything shoved up their noses.

Cellbit chooses to blow his nose as proof. He shows Missa the empty tissue; Missa considers, sighs, and nods his approval.

Roier takes a slightly different approach.

"Come and check for yourself," he tells Missa. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and turns the flashlight on and holds it out. "Here."

"Roier..." Cellbit warns.

But Missa just snatches the phone up and holds it to his chest, the flashlight shining right into Roier's eyes.

"You know what you're looking for, right?" Roier asks, squinting through the light.

Missa nods, hesitant.

More hesitant, he takes a step closer. And then another step. And another.

"It's small," he mumbles, his feet and his words both unsure. "Metal. Kind of shaped like a piece of candy. They put one up me and I can't get it out."

Roier generously tips his head back so Missa can inspect his nostrils properly.

"Nobody believes me," Missa breathes. "But it's real! It's right here!"

He taps the side of his nose vigorously. Now that he's closer, Roier can see blood crusted around the rim of Missa's right nostril. Nosebleed, or he was trying to get the... thing out himself.

"Has anybody done an x-ray?" Cellbit kindly asks.

Missa nods, shining the flashlight right up Roier's nose. "They didn't see anything, but that's impossible! Because it's there! I can feel it!"

He peers into Roier's nose, entirely too close for Roier's comfort. But, really, it's fine. Roier's own dad does weird shit with flashlights all the time, this is fine.

"The aliens put it there?" Cellbit asks.

Missa freezes. "Them."

His hand starts to shake. So do his knees.

Suddenly, he drops Roier's phone and grabs him by the shirt with both hands in a white-knuckled grip.

"Please," he pleads, face twisted up in desperation, "you have to stop me! They say that I have one more to bring them, but I can't! I don't want to!"

Cellbit makes a move closer, but Roier gives him a Look (capital-'L'), and he stops.

Gently, Roier raises his hands and wraps them around Missa's wrists. Loose, easy to break out of.

"Have you ever tried just... telling them 'no'?" Roier asks.

Missa pauses. "Uh. Well..."

Roier takes the opportunity to pull Missa off of him.

"To me, it sounds like you're in a toxic relationship with them," he says. "You're doing good by asking for help. That's step one. Step two is taking accountability."

"But I am taking accountability!" Missa shouts. "I confessed to the murders!"

"And that's good! That's step one-and-a-half. But now you need to do step two, which is you taking accountability for yourself. You need to cut them off."

"How?!" Missa cries.

And then he screams, collapsing to the floor and curling into a ball.

His hands, of course, fly to his nose.

Roier immediately drops to his knees next to Missa. Cellbit kneels on Missa's other side. Neither of them move as a squad of nurses and orderlies rush into the room and start trying to help Missa off of the floor.

"Another!" Missa screams. He thrashes in the nurses' grips, blood leaking out from between his hands. "I can't do it! I won't! I can't! No!"

Roier watches as Missa is taken away. He frowns.

"I think he broke my phone," he say, not looking at his phone, still on the floor. "What the fuck was that?"

He looks to Cellbit, who's just smiling.

He's smiling.

"Well, Doctor Roier?" he asks, turning his head to smile creepily in Roier's direction. "What's your diagnosis?"

Roier absently scratches his nose, avoiding Cellibt's gaze.

"I think that he needs help," Roier says.

"That's fair. I think that we need to redo Elisangela Neide's autopsy and check her nasal cavity."

"What, you think Missa was right?"

"I think that you need to expand your horizons. Sure, he might be crazy, but his nose basically exploded as soon as you told him to stop listening to the aliens. They're listening. Who's to say that he's the only one they're listening to?"

-

The autopsy is done again. Cellbit stays and watches. Roier doesn't. (He hates the smell of dead people, yuck!)

After a few hours, Cellbit comes out of the morgue with a little glass vial held triumphantly in his hand.

"I knew it!" he crows, wiggling the tube around like a chemist.

Roier snatches the vial as soon as it's within reach, and he almost immediately drops it.

"What the fuck?" he wheezes. "Why is it heavy!"

He manages to catch it, but just barely.

And then he sees it: a dull metallic object vaguely shaped like a pill. Little wires poke out of cracks in its... shell? Its shell.

Slowly, Roier looks up at a giddy Cellbit.

"Try explaining this in your report," Cellbit taunts. "If I'm crazy for seeing this, then so is the medical examiner. And so are you."

...Fuck, Roier's report!

Sliding the vial into his coat pocket, Roier stands and meets Cellbit's gaze.

"This isn't about the report," he lies. "This is about the truth. Like I said back at the office, this isn't about me proving that you're crazy. It's about finding out who's actually killing people out here."

"Right," Cellbit dryly responds. "And who do you think is 'actually killing people out here'?"

"You're gonna say it's aliens, but I think it's something way simpler. Like a cult. That's the 'them' that Missa is so scared of. They convinced him to kill Elisangela Neide, and they convinced him that he killed the other three victims. Obviously."

Cellbit looks frustrated. Good, Roier feels frustrated.

"A cult," Cellbit flatly says. "Right. A cult is sticking metal tracking devices up people's noses and sending them psychic messages."

Again, frustrated, Roier throws his arms in the air and shouts, "I don't know, man! This is weird!"

"Exactly! Now you know why I have to be the one handling these cases. I'm the only one taking them seriously!"

Roier is ready to start a proper argument, report be damned, but he's stopped by Cellbit's phone ringing in his pocket.

Cellbit takes his phone out and answers the call: "Hello?"

He frowns: "Who is this?"

He pales: "Oh. He- what?"

He sighs: "We're on it."

The call ends. He puts his phone away, scrubs at his face with his hand, sighs again.

He then looks at Roier and explains, "That was the hospital. Missa escaped. The last thing he told the nurses was that he was going to 'take accountability'."

Roier's blood freezes.

Ah. Shit.

-

"Aren't you supposed to be a psychologist?" Cellbit demands as they run through the forest outside of the hospital.

Roier puffs out his cheeks in annoyance. "I'm a psychologist, not a therapist! I'm not trained to actually deal with patients!"

"Are you even trained at all?"

Roier trips over an exposed root and nearly falls, but he narrowly manages to catch himself on a tree.

Leaning against the tree, he shoots Cellbit a dirty look.

"What were you doing, eh?" he snaps. "You were just standing there!"

He takes off again after Cellbit, who hadn't slowed down or stopped to wait. Asshole.

"I was observing," Cellbit huffs. "Keep an eye out for Missa."

"Well, yeah."

"And listen for any strange noises."

"Like what?"

They both skid to a stop as a sudden high-pitched whine fills the air around them, like metallic fingernails scraping down a chalkboard.

Cellbit claps his hands over his ears. "Like that!"

He looks up at the sky. Roier doesn't. Why should he?

"What is that?" he asks.

And then there's a familiar-sounding scream from deeper in the woods.

"Missa!" Roier yells. "Hold on! Don't do anything stupid!"

Ignoring Cellbit's protests, he pulls his gun out and bolts in the direction the scream came from.

"I'm done with you!" Missa shouts. "Leave me alone! Find someone else to bring them to you!"

Leaves crunch and skid under Roier's feet. Twigs snap in his face, leaves pull at his hair.

The noise continues, and it only grows louder the closer Roier gets to Missa.

"First it was Alexandre," Missa rants, barely able to be heard above the noise, "and then it was Reyna, and then it was Casper, and now it's Elisangela! You say you need one more, well! Fuck you, aliens!"

Gasping for breath, Cellbit manages to catch up to Roier. He's pulled his own gun out, and did Elena really let the supposed security risk leave the office with a firearm? What the fuck?

"He was scared of them this morning," Cellbit wheezes. "What the fuck happened?"

"Maybe I am good with patients after all!" Roier suggests.

"That was terrible advice!"

"I'm not a relationship counselor!"

"I can tell!"

Missa continues ranting and shouting even as the noise grows louder and louder. He's unintelligible at this point, speaking in a language that Roier can't understand. (What is it, French?)

The trees are starting to thin out around Roier. A clearing? Gotta be. That's where Missa has to be.

And, Roier realizes as he approaches the tree line, it's where Missa's four victims were found dead.

Missa stands in the middle of a field of leaves and blood staring up at the sky. Wind whips around him, twisting his hair into knots and ruffling his hospital gown so hard that it's starting to tear. His nose is bleeding again.

Roier skids to a stop and aims his gun towards Missa's knee. Just in case he tries to run, that's all.

"Missa, look at me," he carefully says. "Don't listen to them."

Missa doesn't look at him. Missa doesn't look at anything.

His eyes, Roier notices, are a pure black color. They almost seem to be oozing black gunk. It's like he's crying.

"Missa!" Roier calls. "Look at me! Whatever they're telling you is wrong! You're better than them, you know that!"

Next to him, Cellbit quietly says, "Roier. Look up."

He's looking up.

And so Roier does as well.

He looks up, and he sees a bright light, and-

-

Agent Cellbit is fit for duty, but that he needs someone to keep an eye on him. He's invested in his cases, but that means that he needs a partner willing to both act as the skeptic and entertain his wild theories. Otherwise, there is a small possibility of him going rogue. Agent Cellbit appears to be psychologically sound, but further study is needed to make a sound conclusion. I, Agent Roier Brown, submit this report to the committee of sound mind.

Elena doesn't look too impressed.

"You do realize how ridiculous this sounds, right?" she asks, closing the file and placing it on her desk. "A UFO? Really?"

"Maybe a UFO," Roier corrects. "I didn't get a good look at it. It was... really bright."

"Right."

Elena pinches the bridge of her nose. The man with the cigarette is still facing the window.

"Do you, at least, still have the 'metallic object' the medical examiner retrieved from the victim's nose?" Elena asks.

Roier nods and smiles and reaches into his pocket. "Yep! Right here."

He pulls the vial out and places it on Elena's desk.

The man with the cigarette turns around. His suit is white, and so is his cigarette smoke.

Elena's eyes widen slightly. She picks up the vial, turns it around, holds it up to the light. Holds it out for the man with the cigarette to take.

"I see," she awkwardly says.

She coughs even more awkwardly and adds, "As per your report, I'm going to be permanently assigning you to the X-Files unit with Agent Cellbit. Keep an eye on him. If he starts to go AWOL, contact me immediately."

Roier nods again, slightly less smiley. "Got it."

It's her turn to nod. "That will be all, Agent Roier."

Roier nods one last time.

He stands.

He leaves.

He scratches his nose once he's out the door.

Cellbit is outside waiting for him with a new file in his hand.

"They still haven't found Missa's body," he says.

Roier rolls his eyes. "What happened to 'hello'?"

"And the local file for the deaths he caused has vanished. I called, and they told me that there was a fire. Every file was found intact except for Missa's."

Roier thinks back to the light in the sky and the figure within it. Its hand was extended downwards, and Missa's hand was extended up.

"The only copy left is the X-File," Roier supposes.

Cellbit nods. "I won't let him be erased."

That's what the X-Files are for, Roier realizes. They aren't about aliens or monsters or whatever-the-fuck.

They're about remembering those who would otherwise be forgotten. Those that are meant to be forgotten.

Maybe Cellbit isn't that crazy, after all.

(But Roier volunteered to help him for the foreseeable future, so what does that say about him?)

-

[For Spiderbit Week Day Three: Sci-Fi | First Meetings]

[youphoriaot7]

The crows are a well-known attachment to Quesadilla Island. Nobody's exactly sure quite how they got there, nor why there's so many of them—they're just there. They don't seem to intrude, and so everyone simply goes about their day. It's normal, now; just like the bear that checks in on them, just like the eggs they care for.

They seem to especially gravitate towards Philza. He can always be found with at least ten or twelve scattered around—his shoulders, his hat, his cape... They tend to gather most frequently near the Wall, perching on every visible surface. The top edge of the Wall often looks black, every inch of it covered with feathers.

So when the crows are gone, it's noticeable.

Philza's absence hasn't gone unnoticed, of course. Chayanne and Tallulah have mentioned his departure, heading out to explore the outer edges of the island, looking for...something, he didn't mention what. The fact that they've been hanging out with Tubbo and Niki also proves it.

But the crows were the most noticeable.

Slowly, they start to gather...elsewhere. A small group starts a nest in the tower of Cellbit's castle, and he stares at it in confusion for a few days before he shrugs it off. Let them stay; they're not bothering anyone. Another flock takes shelter under the overhang near Forever's presidential office. He grins every time they fly up to the windows. A couple of stragglers find comfort in the quiet of Chume Labs, flying along after the current lone inhabitant and cawing in concern. Pac shrugs them off, trying not to read too much paranoia into it.

Tubbo finds himself swamped with the birds; Niki, too. They guess they're following the children, which seems to be correct, at first glance. (But it's more than that.) Some flock to Bad, others to Foolish—the two groups cawing and chirping whenever their chosen followees' get into spats. Roier catches sight of a couple hanging around Rivers' base, and smiles brightly when he gets back home to see some of his own nearby.

Mouse waves them off for a few hours before sighing—it's certainly not the worst thing in the world, even if they keep accidentally landing where she's trying to work. Jaiden lets them land on her wings, grinning and talking to them as she moves around her day. Etoiles and Antoine aren't quite sure how to react at first—but it's no weirder than anything else they've been dealing with recently, so it's probably not a worry, and therefore, not a concern.

When the children vanish, the crows get anxious. They spend more time away from their makeshift roosts: cawing at the Wall as they fly by, pecking their way across the roads of the main square, shrieking at every passerby in the Favela. They're looking for something—information, the kids; it's not clear what. But either way, their presence is heard.

One day, when the Wall feels taller than ever before, there's a loud rustling of feathers reaching every corner of the main square. The birds' noises are deafening; it's barely possible to hold a conversation unless you move further away. And when the island's inhabitants look up, they see them there—the crows, returning to their original home. There's a figure, as well, standing amongst the potato fields, staring down at the world below him.

Philza Minecraft has returned, and the crows are at home.

[digoload]

the paladin line up!!! (click for better quality)

This is a part of my voltron AU that I already did a bit of art on this here. i'll probably update my foolish design at some other time but there he is for now.

Under the cut -- my reasons for these particular characters, plus some sketched story ideas i had for them/their backstories prior to canon.

(also, yes - qtubbo tucks his jeans into his socks)

Green Paladin - Tubbo. He's green already, fantastic. Also, a nerd like Pidge and naturally curious. I considered other Create-oriented QSMPers for green lion but I think Tubbo fits the best!

Yellow Paladin - Missa. For a while I was gonna make Forever the yellow or blue paladin, but then I realised the whole cast would be wayyyyy too zany or weird. We needed a sturdy, relatable character. Someone who was scared. Someone who didn't really want to be there. Someone who would have an unlikely romance with a menacing purple rebellion-leader alien in space. I knew Missa was perfect for the job.

Blue Paladin - Etoiles. We don't know the specific qualifications for someone to be the blue paladin (thanks Lance), but there are some clear similarities between Lance and Blaytz (I know Allura doesn't really fit with the pattern towards the end of the series, but work with me here), so I sort of made up my own requirements. 1. screams with joy when they get to pilot their lion. 2. dogboy. 3. ready to throw down. (season 1 allura fits all 3 of these, but arguably not really towards s6-7-8). I kinda relate him most to Blaytz out of all the blue paladins.

Red Paladin - Roier. You KNOW it had to be Roier. Who else. Literally who else. The man is red. Ready to throw down. Trusts his instincts. Angsty backstory. Right-hand to the guy who takes the lead in most situations. Also, just in general, I have a vivid vision of qroier in the red lion's cockpit. He could totally pull it off.

Black Paladin - Cellbit. The other characters I considered for this role were bbh and philza, but in the end I liked them more with having alien roles mainly due to their backstories (BBH as an immortal soul-guide demon and Philza as an avian). I just think that Cellbit would fit this role better. He already sort of heads the Order, is associated with the colour black as well. But most of all. I think there's a lot of potential for an angst arc where he goes off on his own for some dumb self sacrificial reason I guess, or maybe because of his extremeee trust issues, and neglects his leader duties because of this. and then there's a whole lesson learned kind of thing, maybe roier brings him back, etc.

Now for some backstories:

I think Tubbo would follow Pidge's backstory and motives pretty closely, given his penchant for breaking into the federation offices and snooping around (very Pidge-like behaviour). The thing I struggled with was getting someone to be kidnapped by space aliens that Tubbo cared enough about to go searching for. I already have plans for Fred, Phil, and the eggs, and they're the main things that drive qtubbo. Also, ideally, they'd have to be somewhat older than Tubbo in order to be on the Kerberos mission in the first place. For a while, I thought about somehow having Tubbo and Pierre being connected, but they're not super close in canon, even if he would make an Excellent Sam Holt.

BUT THEN I REMEMBERED: MORNING CREW. ITS PERFECT. I don't think they'd be directly related, but Pac as Matt Holt just works so well. I think Fit and Ramon would be rebel fighters that free Pac from the Galra and they sort of fall in love that way, but Mike was on the Kerberos mission too and is still missing, and that's Pac's main motivation.

So I think the best people for the Kerberos mission crew would be Pac (technician), Mike (engineer), and Cellbit (pilot). Cellbit obviously takes Shiro's role (sans robot arm, that's Etoiles' duty later on - this AU would divert from VLD canon pretty early on). Roier never gives up on Cellbit, just like Tubbo never gives up on Pac (and Mike). Except unlike Tubbo, who has to purposely get enrolled at the Garrison as a cadet in order to get intel, Roier is already graduate from the same class as Cellbit. He KNOWS there's a coverup of some kind, but he has no way of proving it. Fortunately, an old upperclassman/ex-tutor believes in him enough that he believes in Cellbit too, and together they get to work on figuring out this mystery. When an alien pod crash lands, they know they've got to get a closer look.

Missa is an unfortunate decontamination unit first-responder who gets in the way. They can't just leave him behind to sound the alarm - he has to come with them while they rescue Cellbit! Unbeknownst to them, Tubbo has already taken out the alarms and is also on his way over. Miraculously, they all escape with their lives, and magic space lion adventures ensue.

I feel like none of them would really have any time to change into casual clothing, so they're all in uniform. Cellbit would probably still be in prisoner clothing but tbh I just didn't think of that lol. Also, I wanted to draw him in a garrison uniform that wasn't detox or combat oriented. There are so many cool garrison uniform designs out there so drawing the same one twice was kinda soul crushing lol. cant wait to show you guys their individual character sheets!!

[qroier]

cannot stop thinking about how a spiderbit divorce arc might go mainly because the only way it could ever happen is as a prank, meaning seeing everyone's reactions would be the funniest thing in the world.

like just imagine it roier and cellbit gather the entire island up into a crowd and there's the typical overstimulation constant talking over each other impossible to hear vibes and roier has to shout out CELLBIT IS TRYING TO SPEAK! SHUT UP! and that immediately noticeably lowers the volume because, uh, ce- cellbit? what??

and then cellbit's like thank you gua- roier. thank you roier (and meanwhile pac is starting to hyperventilate or something in the background because what the fuck is going on)

and then they actually announce the divorce and roier obviously says some stupid shit like naooo meus pais meus pais murieron or we're free step bro or y bueno!

except every single person on the entire island including cucurucho from hundreds of blocks away and the fed workers in their offices can hear him because it’s dead. silent. for like a solid 10 seconds.

before pure and utter mayhem erupts that starts with pac breaking out into wails and a variety of people shouting out arguments and disagreements at the top of their lungs

someone tries to argue that divorce is illegal on quesadilla island, foolish suggests going to couple's therapy before being reminded that roier is the therapist (and melissa is conveniently busy that week), niki offers to step up to the therapist plate, bad gets someone to help him lasso the two so they can't leave the same room until they agree to call off the divorce, bagi threatens them with her frying pan, pac offers his other leg to cellbit for him to change his mind, just pure, utter, chaos.

(meanwhile roier and cellbit are giggling laughing their asses off high fiving behind their backs, same as us)

probably one of the few people not voicing complete and utter disagreement is jaiden hfskjs instead she's immediately no questions asked jumping on roier’s side (obviously) and offers to like represent him in court. if it ends up actually getting dragged out I can see foolish pulling a super dramatic "I THOUGHT YOU'D BE GOOD FOR MY SECOND FAVORITE SON" on cellbit and retracting his offer to build another castle anytime. the federation has to call off all work for like a solid week because every worker is either too absorbed by the live action telenovela or too distraught by qsmp island's personification of romantic love breaking up to actually get any work done

quackity, of course, is having the time of his life the entire time. he's the only one upset when it's all revealed to be a prank. he tries to offer himself as a rebound marriage to both of them except roier and cellbit are too busy laughing together to even notice the offer

[becauseplot]

(Alright I know everyone’s got their own lore reasons as to what their qsmp characters are up to while the qsmp Brazil meetup is happening but I have this stupid crack silly fluffy headcanon(??) alternative rattling around in my brain that brings me much joy. So.)

It starts with Roier and Cellbit.

Like most others on the Island, the past couple weeks have been tough for them both. With Cellbit spending most of his time in his office at the Ordo and Roier out working tirelessly (ceaselessly) on Bobby's city, neither of them are home very much, and neither of them are sleeping very much either. When the do make it back to the castle to sleep, the other has either already left or leaves before the other can wake up beside them. Two ships passing in the night. It's awful on several levels, not just physical.

Cellbit broaches the subject first because he knows Roier won’t---neither of them can keep going like this. It's just not sustainable. They're both exhausted. It's becoming increasingly clear that the situation on the Island with the missing eggs isn't going to be improving anytime soon. (If at all; he doesn't say that, though.) Cellbit's brain needs a break, Roier's heart needs a break. They need to regroup. So Cellbit suggests that they sleep.

It's not unheard of for someone on the Island to just conk out for a few days; it's pretty commonplace, actually. (Cellbit teases Roier that he's a pro at oversleeping, and Roier calls him an asshole in three different languages.) They get everything prepared to spend a long weekend asleep, then Cellbit goes to Forever and Pac, Roier goes to Jaiden, and they explain why they're going to be MIA for a bit.

Forever, Pac, and Jaiden totally get it. In fact, they understand all too well. With everything that's been going on, being passed the fuck out for a few days doesn't sound too bad, actually...

One way or another, Roier and Cellbit end up extending an invitation to their friends, saying that there's plenty of room at the castle if they want. They could make a little get-together out of it. And all three accept. So now Forever, Pac, and Jaiden are staying over too.

But of course, Forever, Pac, and Jaiden have to tell their friends where they'll be, so Forever talks to Baghera and Bad, and Pac talks to Mike and the rest of the morning crew, and Jaiden talks to Slime and Foolish and Mouse and anyone she bumps into, really, and Cellbit and Roier see the global chat messages of other tired people on the Island bringing it up in conversation with each other, and they decide, well fuck it, and they make an announcement:

Long depression nap sleepover at the castle this weekend, everyone is invited, bring your own blankets :D

Not everyone goes, of course. Etoiles doesn't feel he can afford to nap when the codes are still prowling about, Tubbo is getting ready to set some big plans in motion, Bad is...doing whatever it is that Bad does nowadays. People have matters to attend to.

But a good chunk of the island decides it's time for a collective fuck-this-I'm-goin'-back-to-bed break. They all show up at the castle at or around the agreed upon time, bringing food to share and drinks to pass around. It's a surprisingly good time, all things considered, casual but still playful and chaotic as all gatherings on the Island tend to be.

After some shenanigans getting the furniture moved out of the way, the guests get themselves set up in the foyer and main hall downstairs, having brought whatever they need for their respective sleeping arrangements: the avians bring blankets and personal belongings for their nests; Foolish drags a massive mattress out of his inventory to accommodate his full, un-shape-shifted height; Fit has a strange, sagging semi-hammock contraption that allows him to sleep without setting his spawnpoint. Cellbit and Roier think of their bed upstairs, shrug, and get themselves situated down on the floor in the hall with everyone else with a spare mattress they find.

Everyone gets cozy. Some people (coughFelpscough) peace-out immediately. Others stay up and chat and tell stories and gossip and giggle and shush each other like little kids at...well, like little kids at a sleepover. It's fun. But one by one, those people drift off as well, and eventually, it's just Roier and Cellbit who are left awake.

As they lay there in the darkness on the twin-sized mattress they pulled out of storage, they stare up at the vaulted ceiling high above their heads, and they listen to them breathing. All of their friends breathing---sleeping, shifting, sighing. Murmuring things, names, in their sleep, dreaming dreams. Good dreams, they hope. They could all do with something good right about now. Just a little something.

Roier whispers this was a nice idea. Cellbit hums in agreement. He closes his eyes and turns and curls around his husband and drags the blanket up to their chins. Roier pulls him in, and they slot together like two puzzle pieces, not a hair's width between them. Cellbit gives Roier a soft kiss. He feels his husband smile against his lips.

Maybe things can get better. Maybe.

They sleep.

[bigbird07]

Haven’t posted QSMP rambles for a while and might not after this but there’s something to be said about a tragic ending…

The ghosts of the island roam through a land that was never there to begin with. How everything went wrong, they will endlessly search for answers. Driven to grief, many parents lose their place without any way back.

How cruel was it of the federation to let me them live a normal life, only to drag everyone back to where it all began. To get them attached to children they could never truly protect.

Think about it- the hope in the beginning, slightly confused but unmarred by the treachery of the islands.

But now it’s over- it has been for a while.

Maybe it was over when they were sent to purgatory, maybe that was supposed to be the end but the islanders clung to life like roaches in the apocalypse.

Jaiden and Max are dead, so is Dan and Spreen for that matter too. The latter two didn’t even survive for that long anyways.

Bad and Foolish are forever wandering with the loss of their children- unable to end their immortal souls.

Fit and Philza have moved on- spurred my greater purposes that condemn them from making fallible connections. They are warriors, not fathers.

Tubbo works in a fugue state- barely even noticing when the Bunny’s or even Cucurucho stop visiting. Only the hum of machines keeping him company on an island that was once filled with family.

Slimecicle, without anyone left to stop him, let himself give into the code. He never was given the chance to heal from his daughter’s death, not with the twisted spirit in her image prodding at his grief.

Cellbit, well that remains a bit of a mystery. His sanity in tatters and his son gone- his husband so different from the person he fell in love with… some say he offed himself, others that he returned to purgatory with Baghera as if to not remember anything more than pure survival instinct.

Roier, stuck as a rat with no one to turn him back. He lived as a rodent and died as one.

Tina… well, maybe it was the loss of Empanada that made her lose the fight to the demonic but now she waits. Endlessly wandering the islands as a deity of rage and uncertainty.

Mike and Pac knew things were going bad quickly- they chose the swiftest way out they could think of. Their bodies intertwined with Richas’ small form at the bottom of a great height.

Bagi has no family once again, what little connection she had to tie her to this world is gone. All that sacrifice and for nothing. She endlessly searches for a way past the island’s reach but comes up short. One day she set sail and never returned.

Missa falls asleep with his children and his platonic husband, underneath the watchful eye of gods brought over by Philza’s presence. Even as crows surround Phil and his body starts to dissipate with the familiar spark of purple- his adventure starting anew, Missa does not go. Death cannot come for a reaper like him and he still has children to stay with.

Fred, for his many short comings, is reset. All his memories gone in an instant. They have one last look at the strange tinkerer in his factory, ignoring the odd feeling in their chest as the federation prepares to leave the island sinking into ruin.

Agent 18 is found slumped against the door of his office by a golden man with fins at his feet. There are scratch marks at the door but no indication of it ever opening. The golden man stays there for a moment before closing the door again and continues walking.

The eggs that weren’t found… who knows if they ever woke up. Maybe they’re still sleeping somewhere, hidden away. Maybe they’ve been sent back to the adoption centre to wait for guardians who will never come back. Perhaps they go to Tallulah’s special hiding place in the centre to curl up with their remaining siblings, close their eyes and never open them.

Quackity… who knows if he was ever really there? A ghost of an experiment clinging to a life he never had.

And well Cucurucho, he puts a blue feather away in his desk, uproots his remaining corn plants for something more practical and prepares for new residents. The experiment starts over, hopefully with more docile subjects this time. With ElQuackity waiting for them at the docks, nothing will go wrong this time… or they’ll just have to do it all over again until they get it right.

** damn, this is way longer than intended to it to be lol. Let me know if I forgot everyone and thanks to the QSMP for the creative outlet for the short run it had and of course, bless the admins who made it possible.

[kissnpunch]

cinta 2 shows a never ending misery for q!roier.

this video shows two perspectives; what’s happening around q!roier and what’s happening on his mind. q!roier is in a limbo, at least that’s what i would say, where he goes around checking spots of the people he cares the most:

first his castle with all he did for bobby after his death, an statue and walls full of art, his favorite thing, of his first family; q!jaiden and bobby. then, in the place where he thought happiness maybe is possible for him; q!cellbit’s castle, discovering a new type of love, not platonic bit romantic and so deep with q!cell.

we have more places like q!vegetta’s tower, q!foolish’s dragon, leo’s room and q!jaiden’s house, and we confirm another thing; he feels alone, very place is empty and every person he loved is gone. in every family (family brown, familoier, familia guapita) a person is gone, for disappearance or death; his father, his husbands and his son.

that wouldn’t be enough suffering? he holds the remains of a betrayal, the first hope of a good life he wanted, after that everything got worse and worse.

in his sadness, he waits for q!cell, his relationship with him is more than husband but soulmates, q!roier wants to keep going, the illusion of his partner as a last chance, the connection between both maybe can help them to see each other, at least one last time.

now about this mf doied, is another twist, we know he works with cucurucho but not just for him… for a mystery man too? hombre misterioso is a character we saw in the happy pills arc, where q!cell was dealing with his guilt and sadnes, this man was teasing him with two facts; he knows him after a long time and he wants something, after that we didn’t get more information of him.

until now, theres a lot of questions:

⇒ what’s the position of hombre misterioso? doied didn’t doubt to obey him even when cucurucho warned the implication about changing his body. looks like hombre misterioso can play dumb with the federation because they don’t notice him.

⇒ what he wants? q!cellbit or q!roier? is weird his understanding of q!roier’s acquaintances, not just his husband but his twin brother, i don’t thing doied work with him but FOR him. at the end, hombre misterioso laughed, because the twin’s fate?

also, i think theses tapes are from a security office, they’re in the same time and that means everything is recording.

cinta 2 is a masterpiece because it shows the worse fate for q!roier, his body is now doied’s property instead of a rat, in the case someone reveals something is useless if they don’t have q!roier’s mind and body ready for the exchange. also, doied followed q!roier since the beginning, is really smart, he can play dumb everyone if he wants.

theres is a loooot going on with q!roier’s lore, i invite you to check his new video and check his povs today!

[boncottontail]

Honestly, even though I fucking hate Doied and would definitely punt him to the sun, I think his backstory is tragic.

All we know currently about Doied is that he works for the Federation and hates Q!Roier with a passion (to the extent of him drugging and torturing him). Since we had no idea that he was a real person (and not just one of Roier’s silly alter egos) before the tapes, I assume that he’s spent his entire life locked away in the Federation offices, while his twin (?) is living the life he’s always dreamed of, full freedom to do anything he desires, away from the clutches of Cucurucho.

SO. I have two theories as to who Doied is and his connection to Q!Roier.

Theory One: Doied is a Q!Roier prototype.

Clinging on to the theory that Q!Roier is a federation experiment (like Q!Jaiden and Q!Baghera), I think that Doied could have been the result of their first trial to create Q!Roier. He came out an unrivaled genius but didn’t look the way he wanted to. But the Federation thought they could use his smarts so they assigned him to work in their offices. Later, they tried again, and came up with Q!Roier. Perfection.

Theory Two: Doied and Q!Roier are twins.

Maybe the Federation ended up making two experimental children at once, splitting the brains (Doied) and the brawn (Q!Roier) between both of them. But even though Doied was a genius who could pull off anything, Q!Roier ended up being the more “stable” of the twins. Favored by the Federation because he was the “perfect” result of their islander experiment, he was sent off to live on the island, while Doied was left locked away underground.

No matter which theory is closer to the truth, the real question is: What is Doied’s motivation? Easy, it’s none other than Jealousy.

Because Doied was smart. He was a genius scientist who invented a majority of the Federation’s machinery for their projects and experiments. Without him, he was sure that the Federation wouldn’t have succeeded as much as it did—but how come Q!Roier, armed only with his kindness and strength, gets to live a free life? Why does he get to have a family, while Doied only had faceless Fed workers and a psycho bear boss to keep him company? It was unfair. It was UNFAIR.

When Cucurucho showed up to Doied’s office, while pulling Q!Roier with a rope tied around his neck, Doied took his chance for revenge. He drugs him. Blindfolds him. Tortures him until he’s puking all over himself, then crushes his communicator to completely cut him off from his precious family and friends and children.

Then, under Cucurucho’s command, he puts Q!Roier’s body into a rat, just because he fucking can.

One day, a strange man named Hombre Misterioso shows up. He tells Doied to switch bodies with Q!Roier. Doied realizes that doing so not only meant stealing his body but his life, too. The life he’s always wanted outside the Federation’s white walls. The life under the sun, the life away from toxic command, the life of freedom.

Now in Q!Roier’s body, Doied experiences life. He experiences adventure and danger. He experiences friendship and unconditional love. He experiences the care of a loving husband.

And maybe Doied might end up getting a little attached to his cute egg children. Maybe Doied will end up taking a bit of a liking to his twin’s husband—but Q!Cellbit is a smart guy. He knows his husband from the inside out. There’s a chance that he already noticed how oddly different “Q Roier” is. The signs were there in the most recent stream. The lack of “guapito” and the hug only directed at the eggs…

Doied experiences love for the first time, then it gets ripped right off his hands. A tragic end for a tragic character.

[unmotivated-student]

How about an au where qRoier is a police officer and qCellbit is a famous private detective hired by the government to assist the police with a really difficult case?

In this, Cellbit would be used to working alone so he wouldn't be very excited when Roier was assigned as his assistant during his investigation. At first he refuses to have him as a partner/assistant even tries to push him away but little by little he begins to get used to Roier's presence, there begins to be more and more trust between the two until all of this leads to the realization that what they both feel for each other may be more than simple affection/companionship.

∆∆∆

"Why did you follow me?"

"Why didn't you tell your sexy police assistant that you were coming to investigate this place?"

"Because I don't need a "assistant", I can investigate and deduce by myself"

"And that's how it works, you are going to do all your enigma and mystery stuff while I use bullets and fists when necessary, you are more like the brain and I'm the muscle that contributes from time to time"

∆∆∆

"Be careful"

"Aaaww so you DO care about me"

"I mean, be careful you don't contaminate my crime scene"

"Did you have to ruin the moment like that?"

"It was you who didn't let me finish the sentence"

"Culero"

"Pendejo"

∆∆∆

"There is a small problem"

"What is it?"

"We may have fallen into a trap and we are in danger here"

"No mames"

"Yeah, if I'm not wrong, this place may explode in a couple of minutes"

"I told you it was strange that the murderer left clues on how to find them, and you call yourself a detective?! ¡¿No que muy detective cabrón?!"

"¡Cale a boca e corra, filho da puta! We have to get out of here, you can say "I told you so" as many times as you want when we're outside!"

∆∆∆

"Why did you decide to be a detective?"

"It's a long story"

"Isn't there a short version I can listen to?"

"I like solving mysteries and I'm pretty good at it"

"And that's it?" Cellbit nodded "I feel like that wasn't even 2% of the full story" Cellbit nodded again.

"And why did you decide to be a police officer?"

"Long story"

"Can I listen to the short version too?"

"The uniform looks sexy on me" They both broke loose laughing. "Someday will I be able to hear the full version of your story Cellbo?"

"Let's make a deal, when this is all over, let's go for a coffee and exchange stories, what do you think?"

"Oh, how subtle Mr. Detective, if you wanted a date with me, you just had to ask for it"

"Pendejo"

"We're both pendejos, aren't we?" Roier laughed.

"I think you're right, we are"

"And I accept the deal"

"What-..?"

"Let's go get that coffee when we have that criminal behind bars" Roier smiled.

Cellbit's brain stopped working for a moment and the only thing he could think was "Has Roier's smile always been this bright?"

I see romcom potential with this idea and I would like to know if someone has already written something like this because I want to read it :D

Edit: If there is anyone in the world who wants to use this, you can do so.

[I was playing the great ace attorney when this hit my brain xd]

[kanene-yaaay]

Cuddle Time

Kanene's notes: This was supposed to just be posted tomorrow but I got too excited dfghjhgfgh. I am extremaly weak for any fanfic with cuddles and Guapoduo so I decided to get one of my favorite tropes and add some giggly fluff to it. Hope you like!

Warnings: This is a tickle fic. There's a lot of swearing. But besides that, this is purely fluff with a pinch of angsty thoughts that are barely there before going away. Ler!Roier and Ticklish!Cellbit. Around 2.500 words. My spanish is still something I'm trying to improve so pls forgive any grammar mistakes.

[~*~]

Roier was on his lap. 

This was a common occurrence, nowadays. Still, it made Cellbit’s heartbeat in a samba rhythm before calming down to a song of safety and happiness every time he thought about it. Feelings which only increased as Roier kept idly playing with his hair and massaging his scalp.

Technically, he knew exactly what his husband was doing. He used the same technique every time the detective got too lost in his enigmas, trying to claw and rip his way into the Federation’s secrets so they could have a tiny chance to escape from this island. First he would come to his office (not the one in Order Theoritas, but the old one because he kept forgetting to move the computer to the new building) and call him to go home, one, two, even three times before giving up and following one of the three usual routes: 

1) Going away and doing whatever project he had in mind - usually with Richarlyson, - ending up in their Castle to sleep when he was over.

2) Staying on the coach nearby and sing while going through his albums, both the one with their investigations or the other with their daily lives, pulling Cellbit’s attention from time to time to remember some lost memory while showing him a fun picture of Cellbit’s first day in the island or Foolish shooting Slime in their wedding.

3) Deciding to make this the perfect opportunity to have his own quality cuddle time with his husband. This route usually brought plenty of other options that could consist in: Choosing to drap himself on the other’s shoulders and play with his free hand, talking about any and everything or just keeping the soft silence between them. Or giving him a massage, not without chuckling and throwing pokes of fun in a teasy tune about how the other would absolutely melt with the touch and pretend that he wasn’t fighting to keep his eyes open. 

Sometimes, like this one, he would simply sit on his lap and rest his face on the creek of his neck, smiling half amused and half fondly about how Cellbit wouldn’t even comment or blink when he decided to do that, just open his arms and then keep writing or typing when he was comfortable on the new position.

The brazilian couldn’t actually point with precise exaction when each route was chosen every time, especially since others factors played in this like his husband’s feelings, Forever and Felps coming with Roier to help him to pull him out of the dark places of his mind after a bad day of working for the Federation or when Richarlyson would be around, wanting to spend time with him and Cellbit would be too much of a butter heart to actually deny his son anything under the Sun. 

(He was doing all of this for them after all.)

Even when he thought he had finally come to find a pattern in Roier’s choices, his love would just come with a new route or decision that would totally throw him off the track and oblige him to reorganize all his thoughts. 

But it was okay. He didn’t mind being wrong in this at all. Actually, it was like a domestic, nice puzzle that Cellbit could spend the rest of their lives trying to solve and he just couldn’t wait for when this would be his only worry.

He only was certain on one thing: most of the time Roier preferred to keep the third option for when Cellbit spent too much time on his books and forgot to keep up with simple human things like day and night, sleep schedules and eating. Cellbit was actually grateful that, even so, his husband would still keep trying to quietly convince him to let go of his enigmas with soft touches, some jokes, distracting kisses and complaints until the other finally caved and went home with him than Roier actively coming and physically pulling him out of his chair to rest. 

Even if the idea of being carried in his strong arms, toned with muscles and strength, would sometimes make his brain and face fry, both knew that his investigation was way too important and his mind too set in find a solution for him to try to rest even when papers and books and photos weren’t in front of him. This action would just make both of their frustration grow when his thoughts wouldn’t just shut off and Roier wouldn't get to rest as well.

So, they played this game. 

Roier pretended that each one of his moves were just him enjoying some quality time with his husband and not a plan to lovely break his resolve bit by bit until he went to eat and sleep and Cellbit pretended that he wasn’t, piece by piece, archiving a few good leads to follow on the next days and finishing his thoughts with the ones he already had in hand as yawns crept their way up his throat with each minute of the snuggle.

Right now the mexican was rubbing his back, changing from feeling the goosebumps following his fingertips when they lightly traced the skin to listening to his small (barely even audibles if he wasn’t so close) appreciative hums when he firmly pressed his thumbs in circles on his shoulders, following the path to his neck and going back before re-starting his circle.

(...)

It’s been a couple of hours since Roier first appeared and demanded cuddles - determined to make his husband get out of his office this night after spending the last three days there, - until he finally stopped listening to the typing of his computer. He turned his head from its resting place on the other’s shoulders, watching as Cellbit pinched the bridge of his nose with a tired, frustrated expression on his face.

Trying to know anything about their current prison was a painfully slow and exhausting process. It was no news to watch the shadows under his husband’s eyes get darker and darker as each answer brought other 4 new questions. Sometimes, Cellbit would confess in the sleepless nights, he came out of his investigations feeling much emptier than when he started, sensing his hope starting to give out to desperation.

And how could Roier let him shimmer in those thoughts under his supervision?

He turned around and kissed his chin, hands slowly creeping up to his sides, laying there for comfort and warmth as Cellbit twitched instinctively, sighed and opened a tiny smile at the other, letting his hand fall on Roier’s arm and rubbing circles there, still staring at the computer.

“Terminó? (Did you finish?) Did you already…” he then began typing idly on the back of the chair, pretending to be the detective “....hacked la Federacion?” (the Federation?)

“Uh hm, uh hum.” Cellbit immediately jumped on his silliness, also typing quickly and senselessly on his computer before doing a lower, grave voice full of glitching. “I’m in.”

“Apoco si, pendejo.” (Sure, stupid.)

“É verdade, é verdade. It’s true. I called a boat to come get us all of this, it must be getting close.” 

“Si, si. Ya están en Vergiça, cabrón.” (Yes, yes. They’re already got on Dickland, idiot.)

“Oh, did you find them when you went there?”

“En portugués, Cellbit, en portugués.” (In portuguese, Cellbit, in portuguese.)

The brazilian let out a fond snicker, rolling his eyes, trying but not succeeding to hide how much happy it made him that the other was making a true effort to learn his language just as much as he tried to learn spanish.

“Ok, ok. Você encontrou com eles quando foi pra lá?”

“No, no, no. No pude ir porqué (I couldn’t go because) mi pepee is very small.”

Cellbit couldn’t stop the crackle that was fished from his throat at this, hand lightly hitting his tabletop and coming to hide his eyes, losing their battle of keeping a serious face as the conversation grew more and more foolish and they went deeper and deeper in the joke.

Roier smiled. He missed hearing that freeing sound. Even though Cellbit got much more relaxed and happy around him, it was easier to see that, since Jaiden’s mission in that giant dungeon, he had been much more stressed and on edge. 

That is why he couldn’t help but immediately reflect the joy in his husband’s face as his laughter took turns in being totally quiet or having high pitched sounds. It was adorable.

Also, it gave him a very good idea.

He absently adjusted his hold on the other’s waist, glad that his smirk was hidden due their position.

“Que te ries, cabrón, eh? Que te ries?” (What are you laughing at, huh, idiot? What are you laughing at?)  He threw the bait, already knowing what the other would say.

“Nothing, nothing.” Suddenly a squeal filled the room, which might or not be related with Roier choosing this exact time to rhythmically squeeze his sides, going up and down on the tickle spot quickly and skillfully, counting that the surprise attack and fast scribbling of his fingers would be enough to not allow the other to turn the tables before he could enjoy at least a good amount of Cellbit’s cute laughter. “Guapito!”

“Huh? Que dije, gatinho? No hablo inglés, sorry, sorry.” (Huh? What did you say, gatinho? I don’t speak english, sorry, sorry.)

“Pendejo!” He tried to grab his wrists, but with a swift movement Roier caught one of his hands and intertwined their fingers, pulling his arm up and then having no obstacles to attack his unprotected armpit with all the scratches and pokes that he knew that would make the detective completely lose any trace of coherent thought. 

Cellbit threw his head backwards with a short ‘eee’ sound, silent laughter ringing in the air for a few seconds before he tried to become a ball of protection, squeaks and yelps falling like a waterfall from his lips as his hand went from trying to hide his smile to pushing the tickling away.

“Awww, no mames, wey. Cellbit you’re so ticklish, man. You’re ticklish everywhere.”

As if to prove what he was saying, Roier began spidering his fingers anywhere his fingers could reach, prodding the space between his ribs, scribbling on his sides, squeezing his hips, tracing his neck all while watching the other’s laughter descend in a string of high pitched giggling that made his cheeks burn and eyes gleam in mirth. 

“Literally ticklish everywhere. A ver, a ver: Boom” (Look at this, look at this) 

A poke on his armpit and another squeal shot through the room, more of them following as he kept poking his entire torso randomly, drinking on the gigantic smile on Cellbit’s face. “See? Very, very ticklish. Boom. Boom. Boom.”

“Não, sem cócegas, sem cócegas!” (No, no tickling, no tickling!) His voice was breathless, the words barely understandable with all the giggles.

Roier adjusted himself to a sitting position on his lap, letting go of his arm so both of his hands would be free. Cellbit latched on his wrists but didn’t actually push him away.

“Oh no,” He gasped dramatically, making his voice in a deep tune of despair that he knew sounded ridiculous enough to increase the foolishness of all of this, both of his hands following Cellbit’s torso around when it instinctively tried to squirm away from his hold, digging on any tickle spot available before happily jumping to another, no matter how much the detective tried to wiggle away or cull in protection. “Las cosquillas, Cellbit! Las cosquillas te encontraron, nooo! Ya no puedo salvarlo, és muy tarde.” (The tickles, Cellbit! The tickles found you, nooo! I can no longer save you, it’s too late)

Roier then added a few grunting sounds as he made an entire show of fighting his own hands, throwing himself from one side to another and swearing before finally stopping his attack. He felt a bit silly in doing all that but seeing the blush crept in Cellbit’s neck and how his snickers still danced joyfully in the air for the next few minutes even after he ceased his attack, he felt proud.

The brazilian tried for a third time to open his eyes - black and glinting with a playful mirth and a few unshed tears - and endured exactly two entire seconds of looking at Roier before his chuckling grew anew. Roier couldn’t help but laugh with him.

“Se murió, noo. Estás completamente muerto.” (He died, noo. He is completely dead.)

Cellbit weakly punched his shoulder, his own still bouncing with the leftover laughter.

“Callate, estúpido!” (Shut up, stupid!)

“Eh? Estúpido?” Roier didn’t wait not a single second before clawing on his stomach, sniggering malefically at the surprised crackling that exploded from the other, his hand hitting the tabletop. “Ya está, ya está. Ya no voy más a dejarte ir. Grosseirinho. Gatinho grosseirinho” (Enough, enough. I’m not letting you go, now. Rude. Rude gatinho)

“Desculpa, desculpa.” (I’m sorry, i’m sorry)

“Nah, nah, nah. Con esa boquita me besas?” (Do you kiss me with that mouth?)

With a bolt of strength Cellbit adjusted his hold and pulled the other forward, making him lose his balance and fall on his chest. He lost no time before capturing his lips in a kiss, immediately making Roier’s brain stop and his entire body freeze before melting on his chest, the tickle attack coming to halt, totally forgotten.

They spent a few moments like this before breaking apart. 

“Si, con esa boquita te beso.” (Yes, I kiss you with that mouth.) Cellbit replied, satisfied in taking the other’s teasy grin right out his lips.

Roier, ignoring how hot his cheeks felt, snickered at how proud and playful the other’s smirk was, especially when Cellbit didn’t try even the slightest bit to hide how smug he felt since, even with a rushed plan created while he was laughing his ass off, he knew his husband well enough to know exactly what to do to stop his thoughts and attacks immediately. 

It wasn’t easy to catch the flirty fighter out of guard but it was worth it every single time.

Still, Roier just couldn’t help himself but tease his love just a tiny little bit more.

“Nah, pinche beso sin fueza. (Nah, what a fucking weak kiss) One more, one more.” 

He then lowered his head, pretending to go for another kiss before quickly changing his direction and planting a raspberry on the other’s neck, quickly following it with another and another and a fourth one before losing the battle against his own crackles and resting his forehead on Cellbit’s shoulder, still not believing in the honest to god shriek that came out of the other’s mouth, more laughing quickly following it.

Cellbit sweared at him and lightly pushed his arm, but both just let themselves calm down from the adrenaline and the high in a melody of increasingly quieter giggles.

“How did you say cosquillas in portuguese? Co… consewhat?”

“Nah, nah, nah. I’m not teaching you that.”

“Come on, man!”

Cellbit squeezed his side, making him jump with a yelp and get out of the chair while he was quick to follow, standing on his feet and stretching with a yawn. A worryingly number of cracks followed that action and that made Roier relax, knowing his husband would be too tired to get any revenge now. It was almost 4 am, afterall.

“Outro dia te conto. Vamos, pendejo,” (I will tell you another day. Let’s go, idiot) the detective turned off the computer and held his hand out, giving Roier’s one a tender kiss when he immediately answered the gesture before intertwining their fingers. Roier could feel a bolt of electricity and warmth travel his entire body at that “Let’s go to the castle. I will finish the rest of my work tomorrow.”

Roier kissed his cheek and pulled his warpstone, smiling. “I will follow you, gatinho.”

No matter what or where, he really would.

Cellbit smiled, pulled his own warpstone, starting to disappear in sparkles of purple. “I will wait, guapito.”

And, for forever, that is also true.

They slept relaxed and in peace that night.

[~*~]

Random fun fact: Forever and Felps are the only ones capable of making Cellbit stop working for very different reasons: Forever because he also has a thick skull and can and WILL spend the entire night complaining about the fact that Cellbit isn’t getting out of his office and how HE is already bored for being in his office and even calling Richas and Roier to try to help him. While Felps is because the logic and serious part of his brain automatically shut off everytime his best friend is around and usually they get lost talking about semantics and philosophy and random questions like what can and can not be considered a soup.

[miscellaneoussmp]

I don't have anything particularly funny or insightful to say this time around. Anyways, here's Cellbit having a thoroughly average day (cw/tw: minor derealization):

The day starts with the worst part of it, the alarm clock going off. Cellbit groans and rolls over in his husband's hold to turn it off. Roier mumbles something incomprehensible as Cellbit sits up with a yawn. He presses a kiss to Roier's cheek before actually getting out of bed. He rubs his eyes, trying to get rid of the odd feeling clinging to him. Maybe he's coming down with something.

After walking downstairs, Cellbit enters the living room. He sighs softly, seeing Tubbo fast asleep on the couch. It's not odd sight, but Cellbit would have appreciated some warning that he was staying over. At least the younger showered before sleeping; grease is an ordeal o gat out of the couch. He pulls the blanket further over Tubbo, letting him sleep for a bit longer. Cellbit rubs his eyes again and walks into the modest kitchen. After turning on the coffee machine and filling the kettle, he grabs five mugs. One mug for each person in the house.

It wasn't long until Cellbit was joined by Roier and Richas, who was being held by the other. Roier puts Richas down before taking his mug of coffee. Richas' mug is filled with juice rather than coffee. It's a school day, so no coffee for him in order to avoid complaints from his teacher. Mouse comes down next, and she looks already ready for the day. She grabs her mug, filling it with coffee and a bit of creamer. Cellbit compliments her hair, as it looks like she touched up the dye. Tubbo comes into the kitchen last. Somehow, he looks more exhausted than Cellbit feels. Roier and Mouse joke about Tubbo's love life being the thing that's exhausted him, both getting flipped off in response. Tubbo pours the hot water from the kettle into his mug before dropping a tea bag in. The rest of breakfast is comprised of avocado toast and regular toast.

Cellbit waves by to Jaiden, as they separate to go to their respective offices. Jaiden works in a different department, law Cellbit thinks. Upon sitting down in his office, he gets to work. It was about an hour or two later when Cellbit decided he needed a bit of break. He uses the bathroom, and he looks at himself in the mirror above the sink. His eyes catch on the light streak in his hair. How long has he had it? Is this what Jaiden meant by stress? There's that odd feeling behind his eyes again. He needs another coffee. The rest of the day passes by way too slowly but way too quick all at once. Writing case reports is as fulfilling as it is mind-numbing.

Cellbit takes Richas back upstairs to get ready for the day. He had to rush after hearing the honking of a car in the driveway. It was easier to carpool with Jaiden, as Bobby and Richas go to the same school and he and Jaiden work at the same place. After they're on the road, slightly late as always, Cellbit looks back at the boys in the backseat. They're messing around, teasing, everything that brothers do. He can't help but feel like he's looking at a ghost when he looks at Bobby. Maybe one cup of coffee wasn't enough. The music in the car is low, but Cellbit can recognize it as Jaiden's favorite. Jaiden pulls into the school's drop-off line, and almost instantly, Bobby and Richas are unbuckled. The back door unlocks, and the boys run out towards the school. Once they're inside, Jaiden pulls the car away, and now they're on the road to work. Cellbit complains about today's off feeling and how he thinks he's getting sick, Jaiden listens and suggests maybe it's stress. Maybe. They're in the parking lot of their workplace soon after.

Cellbit decides to walk home. It wasn't that far, and exercise is good. Maybe the odd feeling will leave if he gets some fresh air. He gets home just in time for dinner. Richas greets him at the door. Meanwhile, everyone else is already at the table. He sits at the table with Roier, Richas, Mouse, and Tubbo. The rest of the table bows their heads for grace, and suddenly, Cellbit is lost. He can't remember the words to the simple prayer. Is he sick? Is it stress? He bows his head anyway. The rest of dinner goes fine, aside from a minor food fight near the end over a stupid argument, Cellbit didn't catch it.

The rest of the night is average. Roier curls up with Cellbit on the couch, while Richas sits at the coffee table drawing. Mouse is sitting on the floor with Richas, and Tubbo is sitting on the single seat tinkering with something. It's domestic. It's achingly domestic. He kisses Roier on the cheek and says he's going to sleep early. His husband looks only jokingly upset about it. Cellbit lays in bed, and he falls asleep faster than he ever has before.

Cellbit wakes up on the floor of an unfamiliar cargo ship surrounded by three people he immediately recognizes, and one he doesn't. He can't remember what he dreamt about if he even dreamt at all.

[anonymous-dentist]

doied falling in love/having a crush on cellbit?

maybe something with doied in roier's body orr when cellbit got kidnapped and was doing experiments on felps ! (idk if u remember but he got out of there bc someone who he was working with helped him, maybe doied?🤔)

Growing up, Doied was always told that he was too ugly to find love. Sure, it was his stupid twin brother telling him that, but how could Doied not believe him when Roier has always managed to look twice the man that Doied is?

But it’s fine, Doied wouldn’t want to love someone who would only like him for his looks. That’s shallow; Doied is an intelligent man, and he likes to think that whoever he ends up with will value his intelligence, just as he will value theirs (because, really, is he going to marry an idiot?)

And then Doied comes back from vacation in May only to find a new employee assigned to the monitoring of Experiment Number 0000312: Codename Felps.

The man is tall, and his eyes are deader than the corpses buried beneath Cucurucho’s office’s floorboards. He’s clearly been through the Federation’s “Employee Training Program”, but there’s a certain wryness to his manufactured smile that makes Doied think that he might be one of the good ones, one of the employees like Doied himself who were smart enough to figure out how to break free of the Federation’s conditioning. With any luck, this guy will receive the same warm welcome Doied did and will get a promotion to something other than grunt observational work.

Absently, and for whatever reason, Doied feels the need to check his reflection in the window; he looks terrible, but he’s used to it.

The man’s handshake is strong when Doied introduces himself. For some reason, Doied feels a little faint.

“I’m Cellbit,” the new guy says, voice flat and lifeless and deep and rugged and-

Wow.

-

Send a prompt and I’ll write a couple sentences!

[youphoriaot7]

He's not on the GPS.

Cellbit has done a lot of things during the time Roier has known him, but only a very small number of them have involved turning off his communicator. When they have, it generally hasn't been good.

And Cellbit's communicator is not on the GPS.

Generally, Roier wouldn't think twice about it. But, hell, maybe his husband is finally rubbing off on him, because he's worried. He's worried as hell, because that fucking bear doesn't exactly have the best track record with Cellbit. Not to mention he knows just what Cellbit was risking yesterday by running this mission, and it was damn near everything. And they failed.

He doesn't know what the Federation will want to do with him.

He'll never forget the soft footfalls behind him on the creaking boards of the old house. The sound only just barely being enough of a heads-up for him to spring up from his position leaning against the doorframe. The door opening away from his nose as he came face-to-face with that...that thing.

The way Cellbit's whole face seemed to fall when it passed him that book. The way his face had paled as he read the words inside, tucking it into his pocket before saying he needed to leave.

The way Roier had squeezed the other man's hand tightly before he'd left, so tightly he could feel their rings digging into his skin—despite the fact that it was the least of his worries. The way he'd had to explain to Bagi about what had happened the last time Cellbit received consequences from the Federation, how he'd come to have the white streak in his hair.

But without a doubt, worse than any of that was the waiting.

He tries staying at the castle, but he gets too antsy. Staying in any one place for too long isn't really Roier's style. Besides, he thinks, maybe Cellbit would go somewhere else first. Perhaps the Ordo, to organize the materials—because if he knows his husband, the other man will want to get back to work as soon as he can. (It's not likely, but at least it's something to do other than sit and wait around in the empty castle.)

The favela is dead silent, not a peep in any of the buildings. He remembers with a twinge of pain how lively the small neighborhood used to be. (Everyone is gone now. Three physically, three living elsewhere.) He checks the Ordo, but it turns up no more than he'd expected. Which is to say, nada.

Perhaps he can get lucky and catch him at the train station, leaving the offices. He may not be able to get inside, but no one can stop him from waiting nearby.

Still feeling uneasy, he tries to wander the fields, looking for materials for both his building projects and that stupid robot sitting at the top of his castle tower. The distractions don't work very well at all, and he sighs as he pulls out his communicator once more.

That is when he realizes that Cellbit's communicator is nowhere to be found.

Roier will be the first to admit it: he panics. He knows what happened the last time Cellbit went missing. Quickly, he fires off a message to the silent communicator, asking where he is, if he's okay, did they get you again, do you need help? They go unanswered, of course, and Roier shoves the communicator back into the pocket of his hoodie.

He can check the castle one more time. That was where he'd promised to meet Cellbit, after all. If the other man had managed to warp away, maybe he was there right now.

Roier's footsteps echo against the cobblestone of the bridge as he shoots off a text to Bagi, letting her know that Cellbit is still unaccounted for, but if anything changes, he'll tell her. He can tell by the way her reply takes longer than usual that she's worrying as well, and her simple, clipped, one-word response isn't a surprise to him.

He pushes inside the house, wriggling past the gate as he makes his way through the front room. And so, the search begins.

Not in the dining room. Not in the kitchen. Not in the ritual room, the bedroom, or the kids' atelier. It doesn't matter. He'll scour every inch of this damn structure if he has to. Though with every room searched without a sign of his gatinho, he finds himself getting more and more discouraged.

Then, suddenly, it dawns on him, and mentally he kicks himself for not thinking of it sooner. The elevator down to the Fear Room feels like it takes much longer than usual—or maybe it's just the difference between being in a hurry and not. Eventually, though, it lands, and he pushes through the door to get down to the true room.

The elevator is much louder than he expects and he flinches slightly, praying that no one else knows he's here. Should he turn off his communicator, too? As the world shifts around him, he's immediately scanning his surroundings, still trying to force down the knife of panic that rests high in his chest—

—there.

"...pendejo," Roier mumbles, stepping over to the side of the bed. The investigator is passed out on top of the covers, one arm flung across his forehead, the other tightly gripping his communicator. "Me diste un susto."

Carefully, Roier pries the device out of Cellbit's grip, trying not to wake him—but the man is as silent as a stone. After a bit of maneuvering, he manages to get Cellbit under the covers, setting the communicator and shoulder plates on the nearby desk.

He looks exhausted, just as tired as Roier has felt this past week. World weary. He should definitely get some rest. Never mind the way Roier's stomach pangs with worry, frantic to know what the white piece of shit had told him. Never mind the way Cellbit had shut off his communicator prior to going in—surely it was just so his sleep wouldn't be interrupted.

It isn't fair for him to want answers right now when they'll be just as fine later. Besides, he knows that's all Cellbit wanted, too.

Instead, he simply squeezes Cellbit's shoulder before moving away, back up the elevator and through the hidden door.

"You held down the fort while I slept," he murmurs, glancing back at the door one last time. "...let me take care of things now."

[x-bee-x]

Hi @faes-elytra, I was your last minute pinch hitter for @mcythorrorgiftexchange, and I had a ton of fun, and I'm really proud of this, I hope you enjoy!

The Sharpest Lives

Cannibalism, blood, unreality because of dreaming question mark, panic attack, emetophobia.

2,573 words

The slivers of moonlight coming through the break between where the curtains met, hanging on a bar above the window of his office, looking out and onto the landscape of the island they had come to reluctantly call home, showed Cellbit that it was probably time to bookmark his place in enigma solvings for the evening.

Try to at the very least head in the direction of the bedroom where he and his husband slept.

He could do that, he probably should do that, but there was work to do and puzzles to solve and coffee to drink, there was probably some in the pot in the kitchen still actually, he should probably check, stretching his legs for a few minutes would probably be good actually.

Before he got the chance to do so though, bare footsteps padded against hardwood, a slightly rough and sleepy voice followed them.

"Gatinho?"

A very cute and not yet having gone to sleep or perhaps freshly woken up Roier came up next to the chair on wheels that Cellbit sat in and was rubbing one of his eyes with a fist.

"Qué estás haciendo?"

"Olá guapito."

Cellbit stretched his arms out and above his head, earning a couple of joints crackling.

"Same thing I've been doing most of the time. Trying to figure out these puzzles that have been showing up around the island. Was thinking of getting something to drink."

"Would that 'something' you were considering getting up for to drink be something other than coffee by chance?"

Cellbit stayed where he was sat.

"Mhm. I had a suspicion. And when was the last time you had anything besides coffee to put in your system?"

Cellbit stayed sitting.

"Si, I had a suspicion about that answer too. Eres tan listo pero al mismo tiempo tan tonto a veces. You are very smart but also very dumb sometimes."

Cellbit's ears on the top of his head flattened a bit, so Roier pet between them, his fingers tangling lightly in his curls.

"It's okay though, gatinho, hold on."

Roier walked from Cellbit's office to their kitchen, he heard a few glasses clinging together as they were moved and then the sink filling up the glass with water, then Roier was back and handing it to him.

"Here is an actual drink, Cellbo."

"Onrigado guapito."

"You can bring that upstairs with you, come on, we're going to bed."

"Aye, but I'm still working, there's so much to do still."

"And you can work on them when you wake up, they will still be here tomorrow, gatinho."

"I was just going to do them for a little bit longer, I was going to go to bed before the sun rises, really."

"Cellbit."

That made him pause and look at Roier.

"They will still be here for you to solve when you wake up I promise."

He repeated and took one of Cellbit's hands in his own.

"Come to bed, Cellbo, I'm tired, and I know you are probably too even if you don't think you feel it right now, the bed gets so cold without my kitty to keep both it and me warm"

Well, Cellbit supposed he couldn't argue or deny anymore, so he let Roier help him stand up, they walked up the stairs and into their bedroom, Roier laid down first then Cellbit followed to make him the little spoon as they cuddled, and quickly drifted to sleep.

Cellbit woke up, and without opening his eyes, knew there was a too bright light above him.

What he was laying on was hard, so he was somewhere outside, at least on the ground.

It was hot and his skin was sticky because of sweat and the air around him smelled tangy like iron and decay.

Cellbit managed to open his eyes, it was more of a squint as he became acclimated to his surroundings, but he still managed to open them enough to see the world as he decided he almost certainly wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon.

The too bright light was actually the sun, and the ground he was laying on was in fact earth, so he was outside as it turns out.

The iron and death he had been smelling was coming from a starting to dry puddle of blood from a cleanly sliced jugular vein and was now around the nearby body of a random person who was once alive.

Cellbit twitched his nose and rubbed the sleep from his eyes, before landing on a figure crouched next to the body, knife in hand as he filleted a section of meat from one of their limbs.

"Hey there sleepy head."

The figure took a break from cutting through skin and muscle and tendons, smile and eyes the only things visible beyond the void of their face hidden behind the hood of their cloak, their joints popping as they stood up fully and into their almost unnaturally tall form.

"Hi Bad."

Cellbit responded somewhat weakly, his voice still a bit rough from sleep, it was also a little softer and a bit higher pitched.

Like when he was a teenager.

He didn't really wake up.

Back when he thought he knew everything about what to expect in this world because he had been alive a whole- 17 years? Yeah that sounded about right- and at least half of those he had been living alone.

When he had long since realized that there was no one on his side, in the same age range or not, certainly not any family.

Before he met someone who introduced himself as Badboyhalo- "But you can call me Bad, that's what I usually go by, it's a little easier."-who said he wasn't human- "What are you then?" Cellbit asked with wide blue eyes. "Someone you shouldn't usually meet for a very long time."- who was tall and wore a head to toe black cloak and didn't completely mind when Cellbit cursed but would correct him occasionally- "Stupid fucking thing." "Language." "Stupid fudging thing."- who taught him that sometimes there was someone he could actually call a teammate and that it was okay to hold their hand when he needed the reminder that he was still young all things considered after all and not everything had to fall on his shoulders all the time.

"Why are you doing that?"

Cellbit's eyes glanced over to the body Bad was previously standing over and dissecting but was now walking over with a piece of the flesh in his clawed hands.

"What do you mean? Getting something to eat. You know that we do this sometimes."

And Cellbit did know that, or he knew, because he used to do that with Bad.

Right, he was back in the hunger games with Bad, he didn't actually wake up.

"Gotta keep our energy up, got more traveling to do and almost definitely more people to fight off, you know the drill."

Bad handed him the section of still bloody muscle, leaving behind red claws and practically glowing eyes and smile.

"We'll head out when you finish."

Cellbit accepted the meat, nodded in thanks, and bit into the piece of tissue.

Cellbit woke up, and without opening his eyes, knew there was a too bright light above him.

He was laying on something softer, but not by much, still though, he didn't think he was laying on the ground.

There was a loud alarm buzzing and the clicking of something being unlocked.

"Levante-se e brilhe, presidiários!"

Ah, so he didn't really wake up here either, he was back in Alcatraz.

He also has the second syllable of his name removed at this point.

He unfolded his arms that were laying across his chest, stretched them above his head which earned a couple of pops from his elbows and upper back, and opened his eyes to the bright prison fluorescents.

A guard with curly hair that was shorter but not completely unlike his own, walked up and unlocked the "room" Cell was being kept in.

"Comporte-se."

Cell licked his lips and smirked before waltzing in the direction of where the most recent two inmates were.

He found their cell block empty though, and because he had been keeping an eye out and wasn't an idiot, found the hole big enough for them to squeeze through about six inches off the ground and covered up.

Mike was elsewhere, Cell wasn't searching for him though, he was searching for his more compliant and pliant counterpart.

Maybe he'll just make his way into the mechanisms of the prison where their little hole in the wall led and wait to surprise Pac.

Sure enough, not terribly long later, Cell heard something being moved, rubble shift and clink, then someone poke their head and in turn their full body through the place in the wall.

"Olà querdinho."

Pac gasped and turned his head in the direction of the voice, a strand of black hair hanging separate from the rest in the middle of his forehead, and startled deep brown almost black eyes blinking.

"C-Cell, o que você está fazendo aqui?"

"I heard about your little trip."

"Oh, that thing, you did?"

"Mhm. And I was very interested in it. Tell me quierdo, why didn't you think to ask me about it, don't you think I would want to come with you guys?"

Cell stepped forward, and Pac stepped back, his back hitting the wall of the tunnel.

Cell raised one arm to rest his hand above Pac's head and stretched the other forward to rest on Pac's shoulder to lower him into sitting, Cell crouching to the same level.

"Why didn't you ask me, Peqi, did you not want me to come with you, you didn't think I deserved to be out of this place too?"

"N-não, Cell, disculpe, we just weren't thinking."

"That's right, you weren't thinking, and you maybe should have been, sim?"

Pac nodded so fast his head threatened to fall off, as Cell was now holding a small knife that seemed to have materialized from nothing, bringing it forward and towards Pac's lap.

"I think you need a bit of punishment because of your lack of thinking, don't you?"

Pac whimpered softly and a tear that was holding onto the corner of one of his eyes made a path down his cheekbone, as Cell cut the fabric of his pants like paper from his left thigh down to his ankle.

"A-adiar, but now we thought together, and y-you can come."

"Oh, I'm definitely coming, don't you worry your sweet little head, but I still think you need punishing, querdinho."

Cell separated the fabric even more to see the skin, and held Pac's leg still, biting and taking a chunk of muscle from his thigh, to which Pac screamed, and Cell licked iron and carmine from his teeth and smiled before going back for more.

Cellbit woke up, but there was no nearly blinding light above him, there was light, but it wasn't entirely unpleasant.

What he was laying on was hard, so he was somewhere outside, at least on the ground.

His hands and face were sticky and tacky like there was something that was wet but was now drying on them, and the air around him smelled tangy like iron and decay.

As Cellbit opened his eyes, the somewhat bright but comfortable light was actually the moon, and the ground he was laying on was in fact earth, as it turns out.

The iron and death he had been smelling was coming from a nearly dry puddle of blood that he couldn't really find the original source of, because it seemed to be draining from several places, of a nearby once alive body.

As Cellbit became more aware of his surroundings and he looked at the body further, he realized they were some nameless worker for the Federation, their already blank face unrecognizable with claw marks and pieces of tissue taken from it.

Their uniform was ripped open to reveal their chest which also had scratches and sections of muscle missing and was torn open to make a chasm into the cavity between their rib cage.

Oh, he remembered this, so Cellbit hadn't really woken up here either, again.

The sticky, and the more he moved cracking, feeling was from blood on his skin and under his nails and in his stubble.

Cellbit suddenly realized the sensation of something sticking between his teeth and iron and crimson coating his teeth and tongue as he tried to take a breath to ease his dry throat.

He looked above the worker's body and at the wall of the building they were propped up against and saw a series of cyphers that was made out a message written in their blood and made by Cellbit.

He licked the feeling from his teeth a final time, stood up on slightly popping knees, straightened his bloody clothes, and walked to where he had been staying by himself until all of this was over, or was solved, or until people started to come to their senses and came to his side.

Cellbit woke up with his chest heaving and stomach churning, barely glancing at the red numbers of the clock to see that it had been just over an hour since he came upstairs, he haphazardly unfolded and tossed the blanket covering him, stood on all too shaky legs, and ran to the en suite bathroom.

He payed no mind to how hard his knees hit the tile as he practically collapsed in front of the toilet and vomited.

Cellbit had tears coming from his screwed shut eyes and racing down the apples of his cheeks and splashing in tandem with what all he threw up into the toilet bowl.

He could feel the tacking burgundy on his skin and under his nails and his mouth tasted like salt and iron and acid as his somehow found something to throw up besides coffee.

Something touched his back and he nearly screamed, he flinched hard enough for the arms he had folded and was using as a pillow so his head wasn't completely in the bowl, scrambling and hitting the upright lid, and whatever was on his back removed itself abruptly.

"Por favor, de novo não, saia da minha cabeça!"

Cellbit pleaded and repeated into the air like a prayer in between gasps and stomach convulsions.

When his stomach finally decided to give him a break, and his tears were mostly dry, he heard the toilet flush above him.

But he didn't do that, he was too exhausted to move, and he intended on leaving his mess in the water below until he regained energy or passed out, whichever came first.

Whatever was touching him before was back, this time there were two what he realized were hands around his biceps, leaning him back and into the entrance of who he assumed the hands belonged too.

One hand ran along Cellbit's bicep in comfort, the other was in his hair and scratching his scalp lightly, a smooth accented voice whispering praises and reassurances into his ear.

"Roier."

"It's me, gatinho, I'm right here."

Cellbit felt Roier's chest vibrate as he responded.

"You're real."

"Of course I am, Cellbo, and you are too, and you're safe."

Roier pet his head and Cellbit finally let himself start to relax.

"I really am awake this time."

[cerunilea]

Ok, so if we're under the assumption that Cellbit is the one killing the Federation workers and purposely leaving those messages for Cucurucho, I am (even more) so incredibly excited to see what the eventual "consequences" Cucurucho spoke of will end up being. Even before the murders he was going to face some sort of punishment, but adding on the steadily increasing list of things he is doing to destabilize and spread fear through the working class of the organization, I shudder to think how drastic and hard-hitting that punishment will actually end up being — I am very, VERY curious as to what they have in store for him (hopefully incredibly traumatic with lasting, emotionally painful damage... it's been so long since the feral wet cat has been properly put through the horrors and quite frankly I do kind of miss it).

Man knows he was going to take the fall, actively trying to put all of the blame onto himself to pull the brunt of the consequences of some of the recent major hijinks pulled by his fellow islanders, and now he's using this last bit of time to sow as much chaos and thin the workforce, in a way that would not bring negative fallout on the people he cares about (which Bagi is... kind of complicating as she is trying to do the exact same thing for him) as he goes out with a bang.

Obviously there's more nuances to the situation, with Cellbit definitely also using all this to... let go of his carefully crafted emotional limits (and sanity) for a bit(?), the ongoing actions of the other islanders contributing to the chaos (ex. Etoiles killing like 20 guards in his recent infiltration mission, Quackity kidnapping Fred, Foolish getting stuck in his office for several days making his coworkers think he was killed off too, and Bagi and Roier gearing up to support Cellbit in his killing spree, etc.), Cucuruchito's probable role in temporarily distracting the islanders while the Feds try to wrestle everything under control and deal with the black concrete/missing eggs situation, and more that I can't think of offhand. But, from what I can tell, the Federation is probably the most disarrayed that they've ever been since the players first arrived 7 months ago, and Cellbit is capitalizing off that moment of weakness to magnify the chaos severalfold while getting some revenge in the process before he is once again ensnared by their chains, potentially to a permanent detriment depending on what "consequences" the Federation decides to impose on him.