the boys plan a party (surprisingly, they dont fuck anything up)
“Okay!” Daniele slammed a list down on the table, prompting the occupants to either jump back (Milo), swear loudly (Leander and Alois), glare at him in annoyance (Connally), or swivel their head around like something out of a horror movie (Raine).
“This,” he began, ignoring the reactions of his boyfriends, “is a list of things that we need to do in order to throw Mal the best birthday ever!”
“I don’t know, it’s gonna be hard to top the one we threw her last year,” Raine drawled, stretching across the table to drag the piece of paper over to him.
“Raine, one of the walls was destroyed and Connally had to be taken to the hospital with a broken arm,” Daniele looked at him like he was crazy which, whilst fair, was also kind of hypocritical.
“I know,” he smiled smugly, mischief gleaming in his usually bored eyes.
“Whatever you’re planning,” Alois said slowly, giving the younger man a warning look, “don’t.”
Raine pouted and fluttered his eyelashes innocently for a moment before reading the list.
“Who thought putting Connally in charge of the decorations would be a good idea?” Milo wondered, reading over Raine’s shoulder.
“What’s that supposed to mean?!” Connally asked, affronted, at the same time Daniele gave them a look that just screamed ‘I did, you idiots’.
“Daniele in charge of cooking? We’d probably be in the hospital for food poisoning if we let that happen,” Raine commented, ignoring both Connally and Daniele with an ease that came from years of practise. That, and he just didn't care.
“We’re gonna need to rewrite the whole list, aren't we?” Alois sighed, resting his head in the palm of his hand.
“Yep,” Raine pulled a black marker from out of his pocket and began editing the list, crossing out bits here and there.
“Why do you have a marker in your pocket?” Milo questioned, staring at the back of his head with a raised eyebrow.
“So I'm always prepared to draw on people’s faces,” the other man answered, voice completely deadpan.
Connally twitched violently, remembering all the times he’d woken up to a moustache drawn on his face.
“Okay!” Raine capped the marker with a flourish and handed the list to Alois who skimmed over it.
“Right, Daniele and I are both on decorations, Connally is on shopping duty, Milo is the cook, Leander gets to remind Lyssa and Kana about it being their cousin’s birthday, and Raine gets to distract Mallory.”
“You did that to get out of doing work, didn't you?” Daniele accused Raine, finger pointed directly in his face.
“I don't know what you mean,” he denied, trying his best to look innocent; it wasn't very convincing.
“I don’t know why you’re here, arguing, when you should be doing your jobs!” Alois yelled at them, slamming the list down on the table with twice the force Daniele used. “Get moving!”
“Um, okay,” Milo set the cookbook down on the table and opened it, flipping through it for a moment before pausing, “what’s Mal’s favourite type of cake again?”
“She doesn't have one,” Daniele called, walking into the kitchen a few minutes later. “And trust me, I would know. Years of going on cake dates with her have yielded no results to that question, save that she burns off calories like a mad thing.”
“Should you even be in here?” the younger man asked, eyebrow raised. “Won’t Alois throw a fit or something?”
“Oh, I wouldn't worry about that, hon,” Daniele dismissed with a wave of his hand. “He’s busy helping Raine to distract Mallory.”
Milo blushed at being called ‘hon’ before shaking his head at the man’s unconcerned demeanour. “You’re a glutton for punishment, you know.”
“Yep~” he winked, smiling widely at the younger man’s reaction.
“Oi!” Alois appeared in the doorway, glaring at them both. “Stop chit chatting and get back to work!”
“Why are you here?” Connally grumbled, staring at Leander out of the corner of his eye. “Shouldn't you be calling Mallory’s cousins or something?”
“I can do that from the store, you know,” Leander pointed out, tapping away at the touchscreen on his phone.
“Oh...yeah,” Connally finished lamely, tossing a bag of sweets into the cart.
“This is why I am the genius,” Leander tucked his phone into his pocket and walked on ahead, turning around with his hands behind his head as he walked backwards, “and you are...whatever it is you are.”
“Gee, thanks,” Connally glared at him. “You’re such a big help.”
“I try,” he smiled back, a thin amused one.
Connally couldn't feel even a hint of guilt for laughing at him when he tripped and fell backwards.
“Uh, Alois?” Mallory asked, frowning even though she knew the man couldn't see.
“Yes?”
“Why do you have your hands over my eyes?”
“It’s a surprise,” he answered, steering in the direction of what she thought was the kitchen.
“Couldn't you have just told me to close my eyes or something, then?” she wondered, “surely, there’s no need for...this.”
“But where’s the fun in that? Besides, you wouldn't listen,” he was smiling, she could just tell, as he brought them to a stop. “We’re here, by the way.”
“No shit, Sherlock,” she grumbled, huffing when he didn't remove his hands from her eyes.
“Be patient, Mal,” there was the press of lips against the top of her head and the sound of him opening the door.
“Surprise,” he removed his hands, finally, and watched her blink slightly when that word was echoed by everyone occupying the room.
“Happy birthday, bitch!” Lyssa chirped, adjusting her glasses with a smirk. A smirk Mallory returned.
“Thank you, dumbass,” she returned, eyes scanning the room. Daniele had his arm resting on Milo’s head, Leander was having a glaring contest with Lyssa, and Connally was leaning against the counter. Kana was sat in one of the kitchen chairs, her dumb cat in her lap. Raine was perched on the edge of the table, face amused rather than blank for once.
“You knew,” she accused him, biting down on her lip to suppress the smile that threatened to break out over her face.
“Yep,” he agreed easily, smirking at her.
“And you didn't tell me,” she gasped, pulling a face of mock offence, “how could you?!”
“Quite easily,” he retorted, pushing himself away from the table and walking over to wrap an arm around her.
“I’m impressed that you managed to keep it a secret,” she mused, wrapping an arm around him in return before kissing him quickly on the cheek and pulling away and walking over to Leander.
She poked him on the shoulder and, when he turned around with his mouth open (fully prepared to yell at her, she guessed), kissed him on the cheek.
“I suppose I should say thank you,” she said, ignoring the spluttering man as she moved over to Milo and Daniele.
Milo smiled at her, soft and sweet, and she returned that smile, albeit with a much less soft and sweet one.
Daniele pulled them both into a hug, dropping a kiss onto her forehead as he did so.
“God, can you be anymore sappy?” Lyssa asked, snarky voice in full force.
“Oh, we could be,” Milo chirped. “For your sake though, we won't be.”
“Urg- ow!” Lyssa yelped, glaring at both Leander and Kana, Leander for throwing a pen full force at her head, Kana for pinching her in the side.
Mallory shared an amused look with her youngest cousin, Lyssa was still very much the same as she always was, before pulling herself away from Daniele and Milo to walk over to Connally.
“What part did you play?” she asked, tilting her head back to look at him.
“Personal shopper,” he drawled, dropping his head down to kiss her on the nose; she giggled at him.
“We all chipped in, really,” Alois said from where he was leaning against the doorframe. “Well, except for Lyssa and Kana.”
“Shut it,” the ginger haired woman glared at him.
“Thank you,” Mallory said simply. “I don't really care about birthday parties, and you know that very well, but thank you.”
@srazar @myreidola @writersloth @millie-likes-art @editedandwrittenbyhannah
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Headcanons...
that are actually canon about Mallory’s fam crew.
Daniele:
Likes to think he can cook but actually burns everything nine times out of ten. Only thing he can actually always make without ruining it is birthday cake for some reason.
Fashion guy who thinks wearing fishnets under jeans is a fashion crime. Mallory disagrees.
Buys random shit, never uses it and then wonders why the budget is so low.
Highkey tries to match everyone with someone, much to their disgust.
Raine:
King of the emotionless face and voice.
Mallory’s “camera-man”, teaboy and occasional make-out partner when they’re both bored.
Says he’s not a cuddly person but he is. Mallory knows.
Only one Mallory likes most of the time.
Alois:
Mother Hen with a loud voice and long hair. Don’t tell him, he’s in denial.
Thinks Mallory is hot cute because she is always herself. Also thinks Raine is cute for some reason.
Disaster bi.
Spends a ton on shampoo but also steals Mallory’s.
Leander:
“Ladies man” *insert gagging sound effects from Mallory here*
Easily made irritated, usually by Mallory and Raine “borrowing” his blood to summon demons.
Was once pushed off a bridge by Mallory. Fortunately, or unfortunately if you’re Mallory, it wasn't a very high bridge and the water wasn't that deep.
Says he’s 100% straight but he isn't.
Connolly:
Trash(TM), according to Mallory. If anyone else outside of the fam crew says that, they die. (you can feel the love in this family can’t you?)
Bad with women, hasn't had a date in years. He also has never had sex according to Mallory.
he should really stop using Mallory as a therapist tbh. he knows she’ll still be snarky with him regardless of his problems.
he’s a total perfectionist and that means he tends to nag others about things. Mallory messes it up of spite.
@writer-grandma @srazar @esoteric-eclectic-eccentric and @myreidola
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