#characters can be stupid and in unrealistic scenarios if its funny...

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

guys is it weird for your 20 year old son to build your ex husband out of trash in your house after youve gotten divorced

[zapsoda]

i think its pretty normal for art like tv shows movies and books set around the present to include the use of modern technology and yet frequently when i see characters using shit like cell phones or social media i feel utterly revolted

i was wondering if my feelings applied to all scenarios and no there are absolutely instances when i enjoy characters using phones/social media. one i can name off the top of my head is lee hoon from suicide boy using korean 4chan that was really funny and in-character.

this isnt the most egregious example but in contrast, i hate the use of social media in dear evan hansen. and i think the reason must just be that it seems really stupid and contrived and pointless and unrealistic and out of touch

but thats so weird? was that a thing in the 70s and 80s with like computers and shit? was this a thing when the radio was invented? or is the internet uniquely prone to the worst cringe ass writing known to humankind. cause i find that doubtful

[flatstarcarcosa]

our love has found its way into our mouths before

Summary: Three months ago, Slade died. Four days ago, he seemingly returned to life. Van quickly finds that something is amiss, and that strangers can wear familiar faces.  Ship: wilson and wilson at large  Warnings: Mentions of death, suicide, drug use, mentions of/allusions to sex (not direct smut)  Word Count: 2800  Note: tumblr fucked up my formatting yea boooooooiiiii, i’ll fix it later, lmk if it’s Too Bad Too Be Readable 

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The man in front of Van is not Slade.

They know this, logically. He's not their Slade, at least. He looks like him, sounds like him and moves like him, but he's not. He may as well be a stranger, but every time they seem to settle in with the idea of that, they catch him watching them with something so familiar in his gaze that it all goes right out the window. It's been four days since he barged into the house, only to stop dead in his tracks and drop his helmet at the sight of Van standing in the middle of his bedroom. They were wrapped up in one of his sweaters, brushing their teeth and flipping through the early morning news. It took just a few minutes for them to realize something was amiss. As soon as this Slade mentioned his Van being dead, it all made sense. He hasn't said where exactly he's come from, an alternate timeline or simply the future, but Van's leaning towards the former. Why he doesn't want to tell them is beginning to eat at them, but it's not surprising he's being evasive.

It turns out a Slade is a Slade is Slade. He's currently drumming his fingers on the tabletop, one hand holding a beer mug as he tries incredibly hard not to look at them. Van stirs the straw in their rum and sighs, reaching for a cigarette. “So, how'd I do it?” they finally ask, flicking the lighter.

“Do what?” he asks, brow furrowing.  “You said your Van is dead,” they say, “and we both know there's only one way and only one reason why that is.”

“Actually...there's more than one,” he says. Van blinks as he continues. “My Joey is dead, and Rose hasn't been around in ages. I was...not around, either. Ignored a phone call, came back to find the house tore up, a message scrawled on the wall...” “That sounds exactly like when Joey got kidnapped,” Van says. 

“It was eerily similar, yes,” he says. He takes a swig of beer. “You and Joey got along, and Joey used to come over for 'surprise' visits if I was going to be gone for too long. Because I got him killed, he wasn't. Because Rose hates me, she wasn't. And I...”

Slade trails off, turning his gaze and lowering his head a little. Van taps ash into the ash tray and takes a sip of their rum.  “The fact that it wasn't an ambien and benzo cocktail that did me in is the most unrealistic thing you've said so far. But you'd find a way to blame yourself in that scenario, too.”  Slade frowns.  “I'm glad you think it's funny,” he snarls. “Really, it's balm for the wound.”  “I'm not wrong, though,” Van says. “Admit it, you're surprised too.”  “I'm not going to admit to being surprised that you were murdered rather than death by suicide!” he snaps, voice raising and catching a few glances from the other bar patrons.  “Oh, well,” Van says, lacing the words with sarcasm, “excuse me for being unbothered by a different version of me dying! I never expected to live to see 21 in the first place, so you know, I'm not too worried.”  “I know,” Slade growls, “you never fucking were which is why you never listened to me.”  “Still don't, by the way.” They knock back the rest of their rum, and then suddenly start laughing. Slade blinks, confusion clear on his face as they speak again. “Do you realize we're sitting here having an argument about the most in character way for me to end up dead? Like, what kind of next level dumbassery is this?”  For a moment, Slade says and does nothing, seeming to freeze in his anger. Then it eases out of him, and his face softens. He snorts, raising his beer.  “At least it's on brand,” he says.

The almost-laugh is like hearing music, and it crashes down on Van just how empty the last few months have been. They weren't bereft with grief when Joey and Bill had come home to say that Slade was dead-- shot in the head with a Titan's arrow-- because they'd known that he had died before. They weren't around when it happened, but hell, he'd been in the process of faking his death when the two of them met and entered into a relationship. Van's response to the news had been to say “he'll be back”.  Technically, they were right.  Technically, they were also so, so wrong.  They'd been waiting for Slade to walk back through the door. For him to collapse onto the sofa, or the bed, or whatever surface he found Van occupying. They'd been waiting to hear the low groan he'd make in the back of his throat when he came home exceptionally tired, the only warning they ever got right before he passed out so his body could repair whatever damage he'd done to it.

They'd been waiting for so much, and instead they got a stranger wearing a familiar face that pulled a knife on them and demanded they stop playing tricks on him. To top it off, neither Joey nor Bill are answering their texts or calls. They didn't bother to elaborate on the situation, something in their gut is nagging at them to let this play out on its own.  Van sighs and leans back in their chair, staring up at the musty ceiling and willing the rum to work its way into their system quicker. Luck of the Irish, I guess...

If they think about it too long, all they can come back to is that it isn't fucking fair. Maybe it's selfish to disregard the Slade in front of them for being different, but they don't care. They want their Slade, the one they've been side-by-side with for six years, not the one they've only known for four days.

“Now that I think about it,” they say, looking back at him, “how long was your Van around? Here it's been six years.”

“Eight,” he says.  “Ooh, did y'all still meet in Florida? OH, did I still have my car?”  “Stop fishing,” he says, “but yes. And yes. I still have your car.”

“Excuse me for being curious,” they say. They pull out their wallet, tossing the money for the tab on the table before standing. He takes the hint, draining his beer and following them. He watches as they light another cigarette.  “You'd stopped smoking, though,” he says, idly.  “That sounds fake, too,” they say.  “Why would I lie about it?!” he asks, and Van sighs. He's so short tempered. Slade never had a very long fuse to begin with, but this?

They don't know what this is.  “Slade, jesus,” they sigh, “it was a fucking joke. You remember jokes? I do them professionally on the side? Often about your cranky old fucking ass?”  There's venom in the words, and Van has no idea where it came from. Slade feels it too and they both stop walking. The heavy silence between them wraps itself around their necks, threatening to choke them both until nothing remains.  “I'm- this is...” Slade runs a hand down his face, exhaustion tainting every movement.  “It's not fucking right,” Van says. “It's not your fault, even you don't know how you got here, but it's not fucking right. I'm the only one that didn't think you were dead, but more importantly, I'm the only one who even cared enough about you to think that you'd be back. Everyone else was almost relieved to say 'Slade's dead', because it meant they could wash their hands of you without feeling guilty. You push everyone away, constantly, and I'm the only fucking person that doesn't let you get away with it. I'm the only goddamn one that loves you enough to deal with it, and then you go and you fucking DIE on me because you can't leave Damian the fuck alone!”  It's all coming out at once. Van hadn't even realized it was bubbling over this much, and now the top of the pot has blown off to fly in Slade's direction.  They're just happy they can excuse it with the fact that it's not really him.  “I fucking hate you sometimes,” they say. They throw their cigarette at his feet. It bounces harmlessly before fizzling out. “I worked so hard to bring you and Joey together, not for you, but for him. Because I care about him, because I'm never going to and have never had a father and I could see it every time I looked at him how desperately he wanted a relationship with you. I worked so fucking hard to give him something I'm never going to have and then you go and you FUCK his FIANCE.”

Van reaches out and shoves him with as much force as they can muster. He steps back, and they don't look at him.  “Not only do you fuck her behind his back, and mine, but then you have the unmitigated gall to tell him to stop overreacting. You couldn't just be normal, you couldn't just sit him down like a goddamned adult and tell him she was spying on him, you had to play your fucking games. Everything is always a fucking game to you and I hate you for it. Worse, sometimes I think it's myself I should be hating, for being fucking stupid enough to always play into your bullshit because sometimes you smile at me and laugh at my jokes.”

They go to shove him again, their anger getting the better of them at the last second and instead they end up punching him in the chest. They bring a fist back and punch him again, and again, and again and for his part, he lets them.  “Then you just fucking die, because of course you do!” They're screaming, in public, and they don't care. “Why should you ever face the consequences of your own fucking bullshit, right? That's what you keep all of us around for! Acceptable causalities.” Slade says nothing. He doesn't even move.  It makes Van angrier.  “Say something!” They bang their fists against his chest.  He doesn't.  They don't have the energy to hit him again. He cups their face in his hand, a calloused thumb brushing against their cheek and it feels alien and familiar all at once.  “I'm sorry,” he says. “I...I never told you enough. I never told anyone enough but you're the only one it would have counted for.”  “Yeah well, I'm dead, remember?”  “So am I.”  God, what kind of fucked up irony.  Van finally looks up at him as they reflexively lean into his touch. The weighted silence is still there, it's grip loosened just enough to allow them both to breathe for a bit. Enough to breathe, not enough to think. If they were thinking, they would know what happens next isn't going to end well for either.  Then again, maybe they do know. Disregarding common sense to plunge headfirst into fleeting whims has always been one thing they have in common.  Slade presses his lips to Van's and they offer no resistance as he pulls them flush against him. There's a deep, ravenous hunger in his actions that they're all too eager to fill. It occurs to them that when he'd answered eight years in response to how long his relationship with his Van had been, he didn't mention how long it's been since his version of them had died.

Too long is their only guess.  Van doesn't take notice of how they get back to the house, but they know it's enough steps and enough time to pump the breaks. They also know they don't want too. They don't care now, they don't care that it's not their Slade. They don't care that this Slade seems so much more damaged, so much more raw than the one they had just a few short months ago.  All they care about is that it is some form of him. They care that he smells the same, that he moves the same, that his weight feels the same on top of them. He explores their body as if he's never seen it before, leaving a trail of marks in his wake. He scrapes his teeth against their skin, giving a notation here and there about the differences from the last time he'd seen his version of them.  His fingers trail over their pelvis, and they feel him grin.  “No hysto yet, huh?”  They let out an annoyed huff, digging their nails into his shoulder blade.  “That's what you're worried about?” they ask.  “You feel a lot better after, is all,” he says, gripping their thighs and nudging their legs apart. It doesn't take much work on his end for Van's mind to fade into static, but then again, it never did. He always knew how to get their ever-collapsing thoughts to settle into place, even if only for a few hours.  This time, they don't remember falling asleep. One moment they're awake, pressed into the mattress and near tears as hormones and emotions flood their system and the next they're waking up to the sun piercing in through the window. They find themself wrapped in his arms, snuggled into the crook of his neck and their first thought is no. 

No, they don't want to be awake, and no they don't want time to move forward and no they do not want to deal with the situation they've created. They want to go back to sleep, and they want to go back to sleep with the knowledge that he's here and he's him and that nothing is wrong-- no matter how false the knowledge may be.

They can't. 

They know they can't, but the desperate burning need for it is enough to bring tears to their eyes and for a moment they wonder what life would be like if the damn dog had never taken off that day so many years ago. They wonder where they'd be right now if they'd never had a reason to take notice of his presence in their building. 

If wishes and buts...  Finally, reluctantly, they disentangle themself from his embrace. They pull his discarded shirt on and pick their cellphone out of their jacket. It's time to elaborate now, it's time to get some outside help. What good the help might be they have no idea, they just know they shouldn't be trying to handle this alone. Joey's phone goes straight to voice mail, and frustration begins bubbling in their gut as they listen to his greeting.  “Joey,” they choke out, padding across the living room and into the kitchen. “I don't know what's going on with you, or Bill, or Rose, but I need one of you to fucking call me back before I lose my goddamned mind. It's about your dad...it's about Slade. Something--” they pause to take in a breath, dragging their hand through their hair-- “something's going on and I need- I need one of you to please...help me.”  Van ends the call and tosses the phone onto the kitchen table. Joey not getting back to them is starting to get to them. Whether it was fate, or just luck, Van and Joey got along from the minute they met. They like to think if they'd met him under different circumstances they'd have still ended up friends. All these years and they've always tried not to drag Joey into any problems with Slade, but this is most definitely extenuating circumstances.  It worries them as well. Joey's been through a lot lately, and the longer they go without hearing from him, the more they worry he's relapsed.  “I can't deal with this,” they mumble. They decide to busy themself for the time being, and dig out the coffee maker. They shuffle around the kitchen, pulling out the grounds and the filters, and they get a nasty surprise when they pull out the pot and find they forgot to wash it the last time they used it.  Slade was always the one that double checked that. They blink away new tears as they scrub at it with more force than necessary.

They're leaning against the counter, watching the coffee drip into the pot when a pair of arms wrap around their waist to pull them close enough to nuzzle their hair. Before Van can react they hear a familiar, truly familiar exhausted groan in their ear.  “Next time I run off to get myself killed, I'll let you know beforehand,” Slade says.

He presses a kiss to the top of their head and reaches around them for a coffee mug, leaving them blinking like a dazed animal caught in a pair of headlights. Slade fills the cup and steps away, falling into a kitchen chair and frowning over his drink. He's staring at them with two eyes, and there's not a trace of his usual beard on his face. His hair hangs over his ears, the shaggy locks nearly touching his shoulders and looking nothing like the buzz cut that he—the other him has been sporting.  “What's wrong?” he asks. What's wrong?  What's wrong?

Oh... so many, many things.

[tlbodine]

Hi, I'm currently researching the Horror Comedy genre for a research project (EPQ) and I was wondering if you could offer any resources or analysis on the subject. Sorry if this is ridiculous but I saw a post of yours from a year ago and it seemed like a good explanation.

Oh, gosh :) I love being tapped for questions like this! 

Let’s see. This may have been the post you saw before, but I did touch on horror-comedy previously: https://tlbodine.tumblr.com/post/171853791804/how-to-write-horror-the-horror-comedy

I think the biggest thing, for me, is that horror and comedy are basically the same thing. Both rely on timing and suspense, both are structured the same way, both frequently utilize both absurdity and surprise. 

The difference is that horror has consequences. 

The thing that makes a lot of comedy funny is that nobody gets hurt (or the people who get hurt are people who deserve it, either because they’re “stupid” or they had it coming for some karmic reason). 

Loony Tunes-style slapstick comedy is funny, but it would swiftly become horror if it were more realistic (that’s the whole gag behind the Itchy & Scratchy show on The Simpsons, right?) 

Similarly, horror can be very easily turned into comedy by just twisting the knob a little harder into absurdity -- either give us characters who are such caricatures that we don’t feel bad for them, or make the scenario so unrealistic that it’s no longer threatening, and suddenly it’s all very funny. 

Some essential media to consider: 

The Abbott & Costello horror cross-overs really launched the genre, and deserve a place in any discussion of the topic: https://travsd.wordpress.com/2015/10/02/abbott-and-costello-the-horror-comedies/

Regardless of my opinions of them, I’d be remiss not to acknowledge the Scary Movie franchise. Compare/contrast with Abbott & Costello. 

Pay heed to the trend that every time a wave of horror movies has come through and been popular, a wave of comedy spoofs has tended to follow on its heels. I think this may just be an inevitable cultural cycle: We become afraid, we laugh at our fears, we find new things to be afraid of. 

A few of my personal favorite horror-comedies: 

Gremlins 

Shaun of the Dead 

Cabin in the Woods 

Get Out 

Zombieland 

Hopefully this smattering of thoughts gives you something useful :) Please feel free to reach out with any follow-up questions and I’ll be happy to try to get more specific! 

[funkymbtifiction]

Wings / Strengths Weaknesses

To save everyone (and myself) time... [I shortened these from here.] I basically use these as shorthand to type characters from.

Gut Types:

1w9 - Seeking Rightness and Peace

Calm although eruptions of temper are possible. Detached quality. Tendency to formulate and embrace principles that have little human content, but this is also their strength. When awakened, may be objective and balanced, cool and moderate in their evaluations. More unhealthy, might have perfectionistic expectations not humanly possible to meet. May hold social or political opinions that are supremely logical but ultimately heartless and draconian. The rules come first no matter what. Can be merciless or unwittingly cruel. Often a little colorless in their personal appearance. Many Ones with this wing are plain dressers, preferring functional clothing that is appropriate to context but not flashy. The emphasis on function may extend to their general lifestyle. Practicality is highly valued.

1w2 - Seeking Rightness and Love

This wing generally brings more interpersonal warmth. High standards are tempered by humanism. May understand and partly forgive humanity for not doing its best. Work hard to improve the conditions of others, sacrificing time and energy to do good works. When more unhealthy, can be volatile and self-righteous. Authoritarian inflation and moral vanity on the low side. Can give scolding lectures or display a kind of touchy emotionalism. “Do as I say, not as I do” attitudes possible. Hypocrisy likely because the person is so convinced they have moral good intentions. Overlook inconsistencies in their own behavior. Dependency in relationships. Far more likely to be a jealous intimate subtype than Ones with a 9 wing.

8w7 - Seeking Power and Stimulation

Expansive, and powerful. Gregarious and generous, they may display a cheerful bravado. Can be forceful but with a light touch, funny. Often have a sense of humor about themselves. Extroverted, ambitious, materialistic. May talk loud and be sociable partygoers. Driven to bring the new into being. Can be visionary, idealistic, enterprising. Willing to take risks. 7 wing brings an intellectual capacity. Aggression combines with gluttony to form an virulent tendency to addiction. Prone to temperamental ups and downs—can be moody, egocentric, quick to anger. Tendency to court chaos, inflate themselves narcissistically. Some are ruthlessly materialistic. Can use people up, suck them dry. Maybe be explosive or violent, prone to distorted overreaction.

8w9 - Seeking Power and Peace

Aura of preternatural calm, no self doubt. Take their authority for granted. Gentle, kind-hearted, quieter. Often nurturing, protective parents; steady, supportive friends. Informal and unpretentious, patient, laconic, somewhat introverted. A dry or ironic sense of humor. Aura of implicit, simmering anger. Slow to erupt but when they do it’s sudden and explosive. When unhealthy, callous numbness. They can be oblivious to the force of their anger until after they’ve hurt someone. Calmly dominating, colder; may have an indifference to softer emotions. If very unhealthy, they can be mean without remorse or aggressive in the service of stupid ends. Paranoid plotting, muddled thinking, moral laziness. Can be vengeful in ill-conceived ways, abuse those they love, don’t know when to quit.

9w8 - Seeking Peace and Power

Modest, steady, receptive core. Great force of will. Get things done, make good leaders. May have an animal magnetism of which they are only partly aware. Can seem highly centered, take what they do seriously but remain unimpressed with themselves. Strong internal sense of direction. Relatively fearless and highly intuitive. Not intellectual unless they have it in their background. When more unhealthy, they manifest contradictions. Can be passively amiable then horribly blunt. May be slow to anger and then explode. Or angry but don’t know it; may confuse being assertive with being rude. Placidly callous—both styles support numbness. Tactless and indiscriminate and indiscreet. May be unwittingly disloyal, spilling everyone’s secrets. Sexual confusion, sometimes they are driven by lust.

9w1 - Seeking Peace and Rightness

Model children. Virtuous, orderly, and little trouble. Great moral authority plus good-hearted peacemaking tendencies. Often have a sense of mission, public or private. Principled expression of love. Desire to contribute, do little harm. May be well-liked, modest, endearing, gentle yet firm. Great grace and composure, bursts of spontaneity and sweetness. Elegant simplicity. When unhealthy, they self-neglect. Dutiful to what they shouldn’t be. Play the good child, settle for being overlooked. Passive tolerance of absurd or damaging situations. One-sided relationships where the Nine gives too much. Rationalize, minimize, tell themselves they everything’s fine. Placid numbness creeps over them. Intolerance of their own emotions. Gradually deaden their soul.

Heart Types:

2w1 - Seeking Love and Rightness

Conscience and emotional containment. When healthy, they act from general principles about the value of serving others. Ethics come before pride. May hold themselves to high standards. Discreet and respectful of other people’s boundaries. When upset, tend to go quiet and experience strong emotions internally. More melancholy than Twos with a 3 wing. When less healthy and unhealthy, tend to confuse their sense of mission with self-centered needs. Go blind to their own motives; invade and dominate others. Believe their actions are perfectly justified by their ethic of helping. May repress their personal desires and focus on others as a way to avoid guilty dilemma between the rules and their inner needs. If really blind they will warp their ethics crazily to justify personal selfishness and prideful hostility.

2w3 - Seeking Love and Image

This wing brings Twos an extra measure of sociability and the capacity to make things happen. When healthy, can be charming, good-natured and heartfelt. Really get things done, serve effectively on projects that involve the well-being of others. Thrive on group process and are generally good communicators. Enjoy keeping several threads or projects going at once. Unhealthy Twos with a 3 wing can be quite emotionally competitive and controlling. 3 wing brings a double dose of vanity. Strong tendency to live in one’s images. May grow brazenly deluded, preferring their glamorous, self-important scenarios to reality. Tendencies to deceit and emotional calculation. Highly manipulative. This wing is also more extroverted; dramatization of feeling in the form of hysterical snit-fits is far more possible.

3w2 - Seeking Image and Love

Highly gregarious. Tendency towards playing a role. Social perception, prestige and recognition important. Personal warmth, leadership qualities. Sincere desire to do well by others; may be genuinely nice. If they have achieved success, generous in their mentorships. When unhealthy, they are preoccupied with seeming ideal. This can extend to friendships, family, work. Want to seem a perfect spouse, friend, parent, employee, good child. Strong social focus because they need validation from others. Preening and boastful behavior possible. Bursts of egotism. Wanting to be on top, better than others. Slip into impersonation easily, may falsify feeling and not know it themselves. Deep emotional self-recognition is lost. Malicious intentional deceit is possible. Behavior of con-artists and sociopaths.

3w4 - Seeking Image and Identity

Less image-conscious or project an image more implicit and subtle. 4 wing brings a degree of introversion. May measure themselves more by their creations, artistic or social. Compete with themselves more than with other people. Motivation and ability to work on oneself. May accomplish everything they set out to do, then embark on self-analysis. Will still like a challenge, but thoughtful, intuitive or humanistic concerns of prime interest. The low side of this wing can bring a haunted, self-tormented quality or a haughty, competitive pretentiousness. Might be snobs or accuse critics of being too plebian to appreciate them. Cool, hard shell. In private, can lapse into self-questioning and melodrama. Instability and moodiness can be factors. Unrealistic grandiosity.

4w3 - Seeking Identity and Image

Outgoing, sense of humor and style. Prize being creative and effective. Intuitive and ambitious; may have good imaginations, often talented. Colorful, fancy dressers, make a distinct impression. Self-knowledge combines well with social and organizational skills. When unhealthy, have a public/private split. Conceals feelings in public then goes home to loneliness. Can enjoy their work and be dissatisfied in love. Tendency to melodrama and flamboyance; true feelings often hide. Competitive, sneaky, aware of how they look. Some have bad taste. May be fickle in love, drawn to romantic images that they have projected onto others. Could have a dull spouse, then fantasize about glamorous strangers. Achievements can be tainted by jealousy, revenge, or a desire to prove the crowd wrong.

4w5 - Seeking Identity and Knowledge

Withdrawn, complex creativity. Intellectual, exceptional depth of feeling and insight. Very much their own person; original and idiosyncratic. Have a spiritual and aesthetic openness. Will find multiple levels of meaning. May have a strong need and ability to pour themselves into artistic creations. Loners; enigmatic and hard to read. Externally reserved, internally resonant. When they open up it can be sudden and total. When unhealthy or defensive, easily alienated and depressed. Many have a sense of not belonging. Can get lost in their process, drown in their ocean. Whiny, ruminate and relive past experience. Prone to shame. Air of sullen, withdrawn disappointment. May live within a private mythology of pain and loss. Can get deeply morbid and fall in love with death.

Head Types:

5w4 - Seeking Knowledge and Identity

Abstract, intuitive cast of thought, as though thinking in geometric shapes instead of words or realistic images. May be talented artistically and inhabit moods. Combine intellectual and emotional imagination. Enjoy the realm of philosophy and beautiful constructs. The marriage of mental perspective and aesthetics. Fluctuate between impersonal withdrawal and bursts of friendly caring. Can get floaty and abstract. Act like they’re inside a bubble, sometimes with an air of implicit superiority. Cliché of the “absentminded professor” applies especially to Fives with this wing. Environmentally sensitive and subject at times to total overwhelm. Touchy about criticism. Can be slow to recover from traumatic events. Melancholy isolation and bleak existential depression are possible pitfalls.

5w6 - Seeking Knowledge and Security

Detail, technical knowledge, thinks in logical sequence. Intellectual, extremely analytical. Loyal friends, offering strong behind-the-scenes support. Kind, patient teachers, skillful experts. Sense of mission and work hard. Project an aura of sensitive nerdiness, clumsy social skills. When defensive, unnerved by others’ expectations. May like people but avoid them. Sensitive to social indebtedness. Has trouble saying “thank you.” Fear of taking action, develop “information addiction” instead. Asks lots of questions but doesn't get around to deciding. When unhealthy, they suspiciously scrutinize other people’s motives but can blindly follow. Misanthropic and Scrooge-like when defensive. Cuts off their feelings consistently. Cold, skeptical, ironic, and disassociated.

6w5 - Seeking Security and Knowledge

Introverted, intellectual. Many interests, competencies and skills. Original, idiosyncratic point of view. Bookish; interested in history or feel rooted in the past or related to a long tradition. Good at predicting the future. May test friends for a long time but become a friend for life. When unhealthy, project a willed remoteness. Hidden dimensions, intensity and activity. Tension between needing to be seen and withdrawing for protection. Might act arrogant, cryptic or cynical when afraid. Can be diplomatic and say things without saying them. Counterphobics are cool loners or argumentative and violent. Can brood over injustices, entertain conspiracy theories, spend time alone building cases. Paranoid. Sneaky vengeance, passive/aggressive toward others, self-attacking and self-destructive at home.

6w7 - Seeking Security and Stimulation

Outgoing, nervous. Want to be liked, pursues others. Can be charming, sociable, ingratiating. Fast tempo. Personal warmth. Cheerful, forward-looking drive, disarmingly funny. Self-effacing, gracious, curious. When unhealthy, may be self-contradicting and want two things at once. Sometimes test others overtly, drive you crazy with mixed messages. It may be hard to follow what they’re saying. When threatened, impossible to please. When counterphobic, accusative. Some get caught up in big plans they hope will result in material security. Insecure, irritable, petty, irrational, chaotic. Mood swings, inferiority complexes, runaway fears. Hair-trigger paranoid flare-ups . Falsely accuse others and not realize it. Other times plead to be taken care of. Conservative in their lifestyle.

7w6 - Seeking Stimulation and Security

Responsible, faithful, lovable, nervous and funny. Oriented to relationships, want acceptance. Steady, willing to stick with commitments. Openly vulnerable, unguarded, tender sweetness. Has trouble expressing anger. May evade authority but are still aware of it. Canny and practical, they look for deals and loopholes. When unhealthy, may have episodes of sensitivity or insecurity. Get their feelings easily hurt. Sensitive to comparisons. May avoid testing themselves. Grow dependent and addicted to other people, afraid to be alone, suspicious and skittish. Easily feels guilt, may act irresponsibly. Shallow, falls in and out of love easily. Breezily betray others by running away. Can be reckless, unstable, and self-destructive. Hates to be told what to do.

7w8 - Seeking Stimulation and Power

Generous, gregarious, expansive. Loyal to their friends. Leaps aggressively to their defense. Loud or boisterous, urbane and witty. Enjoy social celebrations, storytelling, jokes, food and travel. Self-confidence for worldly matters and getting what they want. Talent for making something out of nothing. Shares what they have, wants others to share their interests. When unhealthy, demanding, selfish, impatient. Self-justifying narcissism. Wants what they want right now. Aggressive, greedy for money, pleasure, recognition. Can demand others say only what they want to hear—sugarcoated truths. Lashes out angrily if reality doesn’t meet their expectations; sometimes vengeful. Moralize to others while being irresponsible. Amnesia for promises. Particular difficulty with sexual fidelity.

 - ENFP Mod

[courage-a-word-of-justice]

Cells at Work! 13 (FINAL) | Double Decker! 2 | Slime Datta Ken 1 | Run with the Wind 1 | Bakumatsu 1 | Zombieland Saga 1 | DakaIchi 1 | Radiant 1 | SSSS.Gridman 1

Warning for discussion of 18+, potentially triggery things within the DakaIchi discussion...and the nature of that show being a yaoi will tell you whether you want to read that discussion in the first place. (There are full stops and lines around it in case you want to dodge that particular part, since Radiant comes right after it.)

...Otherwise, have at it.

Cells at Work! 13 (FINAL)

Apparently “distal” just means your extremities…

For some reason, I already knew about the fact that you can die from losing one third of your blood…because I read a Tumblr post that was meant to be for action writers and it was about blood loss.

…Huh? Was this a blood transfusion? That would explain why these new RBCs are so clueless about our RBC. Update: Yup, guessed it.

Come to think of it, there’s a WBC Nendoroid and a Platelet one but no RBC. That’s a bit disappointing…

The WBCs using that wobbly stick thing in the background are amusing, eheh.

Anyways, that was fun, even if I did get used to the routine of RBC getting lost and WBC fighting antigens in the end. See you next time!

Double Decker! 2

We’re now properly in the fall season, and of course now that the first drop’s out of the way, we’re starting with the best show this season (at least for the moment).

So does that mean if we’re NEETs we’re not paying for these detectives…? Is this an incentive for people to pay their taxes (LOL)…? (Okay, I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Sheesh.)

DD Partners…? Sounds…uh, partnery, considering what DD stands for.

Why is Travis blinking so much when he’s apologising…?

Snarky narrator is fun. I thought it was Kirill during ep 1 (or at least, it was for a bit), but now this narrator’s talking too much in 3rd person for it to be true. Maybe…it’s future Kirill. *collective facepalms from the peanut gallery* Or maybe it’s Kirill and a narrator, and Kirill will then break the 4th wall somewhere.

Now that’s monkeying around…LOL. *gets pelted by tomatoes* Oh c’mon, can’t I get in a decent joke around here?!

Well, as much as the can thing Doug does to Kirill is tropey for anime, I gotta admit this ain’t monkey busin-eh? You want me to stop with the jokes? Aw. Fine then, I’ll stop…

There’s something utterly relatable about having gone down the path of your dreams, only for it not to work out. In fact, I think I’m going down that path right now and I need to decide where to head next. That’s why I’m watching this episode right now – to make sure I don’t regret my future, by focussing on the present with a good anime.

According to this link to Google Books I got when I googled “ignis” and “desperatio” together, this might have something to do with a Panegyric of the Saints…something to do with hell, worms, fire and despair…? Uh, wuh? Am I just investigating this the wrong way?

Sanctus Bridge? As in “sanctuary”? Wow, that’s…ironic.

The rabbit police mascot…you can see it on Deana’s dashboard, LOL. Plus the bird police mascot that goes with it.

The name shots you get of these criminals aren’t nearly as good as “dick suck” (sic) in Kekkai Sensen, but they’re pretty close. Plus they actually do have correct Japanese translations, unlike “dick suck” (LOL).

Seriously, what’s up with Doug’s head prodding? Is it to stop him from trichotillomania (which is the pulling out of hair)? I can see it getting vaguely annoying when the excitement of a new season wears off…

The CGI is kind of awkward in this. You’d need to stare at it for a bit to realise it’s CGI and it’s not the worst effort I’ve seen (*grumbles* Tsukigakirei *grumble*) but it’s still pretty bad…

Oh! Those doors! Is Doug’s car…a DeLorean? (dramatic piano SFX in background)

Was it just me, or did Kirill’s face go funny for a second as he was moping about how he didn’t get to do anything…?

“Let me be your Double Decker!” – That’s what he says as a double decker bus goes by…clever wordplay, huh?

“One is poverty. The other is class.” – Okay, my studies tell me that’s pretty much impossible. Even in social situations, you have a clear leader and subordinates. Poverty is fine and dandy in regards to giving the boot – heck, that’s why things like the Millenium Development Goals exist (or rather, existed in that case, since those were replaced in 2015) – but class? That’s a bit of a difficult one, unless you want to resort to hardline socialist methods, Marxist methods…or communist ones. Not that any of those are bad, it’s just that I happen to like capitalism,even with its flaws and no matter what imbalances it causes to others. It’s just that not having capitalism would mean everyone’s equal, but then everyone’s worse off as a result…because if everyone has the same stuff, no one is different and no one is diverse enough to make anyone special. Get what I mean?

I think this episode sold me even more on the show, the premise…the everything. Except maybe that “I want to get rid of class” part.

That Time I Got Reincarnated as a Slime 1

I just memorise this show as “Slime Datta Ken”, so if you’re wondering what that is…now you know.

What was that opening segment for, man…? This is just a boring isekai intro.

I’m laughing! He values his computer over his life? As much as I know I’m attached to my computer, you should prioritise 1) getting Mikami an ambulance, 2) stopping the blood flow or 3) just getting Mikami to preserve his own life. Not that I’ve ever been in a life or death scenario, but that’s common sense, even if it’s a bit nihilistic or unrealistic.

Seriously, there’s currently no pull but how intriguing these unexplained “acquisition” scenes are. Like seriously. Those effects are cool and somewhat intriguing in the same way as Juuni Taisen was.

The picture of a flower…where did it come from? A child? Hmm, interesting way to express such a though process.

The CGI of the reveal was actually really good. Like, Houseki no Kuni good!

Actually, this is very Houseki no Kuni. Reestablishing what it is that makes humans human and what causes a creature to live and all that.

I never knew a slime could be this expressive…

“I see you have guts.” – That’s probably something you shouldn’t say to a slime, LOL.

Oh! This reminds me of a writing piece I had to do one time where you had to tell a tale from a monster’s perspective and make them sympathetic. I wrote about a dragon, so there’s something nostalgic about this.

There really isn’t a lot of movement in this show. Not that I mind it – Juuni Taisen I used to love a bunch and that was based off a novel, but this is an LN-based show…the level of writing in this show is clearly from the LN camp, for one thing. How it got such great production values, however, is another question entirely…

The slime and dragon friendship that just formed made me wanna go “ET!”, just because the gesture they did to seal said friendship did kind of look like that, haha.

Mechasoft Doors MX…hey, I am getting my fix of anime OSs this season after all! Just…not in Gridman yet. Update: There are zero OSs in Gridman, not in episode 1 at least...

Oh wow! That fight scene was so darned cool! It makes me wanna see more already! And the fact he (I already know from promo material the slime’s name is Rimuru) uses his slime form and human form interchangeably…that’s even cooler!

The font down the bottom and up the top of the next episode box appears to say “Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken” (due to the frequency of one of the symbols that appears to be an S, then you do the same for E and you realise it works…then you realise the text is just stylised romaji). There are zeroes and ones on the left and right sides, which might correlate to Rimuru’s “analysis voice”…whatever that may be. Anyways, I’m pretty confident this’ll be something for my lineup, but it’s too early for judgement calls. It’s a keeper…for now.

Run with the Wind 1

Now here’s a show I didn’t expect to follow going in…I picked it up merely on ANN recs.

I’m laughing like a maniac! As much as it was a compelling opening, after the dude arrives on his bike and asks “Do you like running?” to a thief, I lost it. For some reason, I find it almost so unrealistic it became hilarious, in a stupid sort of way. Or maybe I just have a really bad sense of humour. Who knows?

That one guy running in the back in the OP is basically me every time I’m meant to do something physical. Even going up three floors via stairs gets me out of breath though and I live a fairly sedentary lifestyle, so I ain’t a good comparison.

That nickname “Shindo” puzzles me. I can’t think of a kanji combo that would result in wordplay with the characters for “god” and “child” using the name “Takashi Sugiyama”, but I guess maybe we’ll find out in a later episode…?

Thank…uh, goodness for the censorship on Musa…

Musa speaks unusually politely (because I noticed he used “gozonji desu” at one point, which is a keigo variant for “shitteiru”). Maybe it’s because they barely know each other that there’s keigo being flung about. That seems reasonable, at least.

There’s something authentic about this sense of camaraderie. I can tell because my extended family is huge, so gatherings are often like this but multiplied in scale.

“Tsuru no Yu” – Technically that translates to “Crane’s Bath”…”Public Bath” is the place’s purpose.

I was wondering why we’d somehow reverted to not having 10 dudes, but then they show this is actually Haiji’s perspective of the event from the start of the episode and show the scar on his knee. That’s gotta be important for later.

…and Haiji left his towel, LOL.

I still laugh every time I see Haiji’s stupid face (the one he makes when he asks “Do you like running?”).

I’ve associated the slurring of words like “yakusoku-ssu” to be for smol bishies like Yumoto, so having Haiji use it is a bit of whiplash. Then again, apparently that slurring is only used by men to assert their masculinity as far as I know…so, uh, yeah.

Actually…I’ve been wondering. How long are courses at this uni? Where I am, being a straight literature major is 3 years (assuming you also do other stuff that fulfils a straight Arts degree). Also, Fune wo Amu (by the same creator) is about a dude making a dictionary…hmm, so the creator really likes books.

Wait, as far as my short term memory operates, most of these guys at Chikuseisou do arts majors, aside from the law student and the smoker (who does engineering). They do literature or sociology, mostly. So if that’s correct…the author also likes sociology. I’ve been thinking about doing some sociology myself, it would really complement what I know about international studies.

As explained by Kyra, chiku – sei – sou. The sei means blue/green and the chiku means bamboo. Switching the two and reading them differently gives you “Aotake”.

Rent’s $300? Must be cheap, eh?

Also see Kyra’s post for information about the food-based suicide note.

The Kanto Gogakuren refers to this manga, Sakigake!! Otokojuku. It’s basically Again!!, but with more Fist of the North Star-style dudes.

Hmm…turns out you can refer to this show as KazeTsuyo. That’s going to make me confuse it with SekaTsuyo, though…(SekaTsuyo = Wanna Be the Strongest in the World!) Also, it turns out the character for “Kakeru” in this case means “to run” (normally it means “to dash” with a kanji normally used for flying). Wait…did I ever mention how much this show’s aesthetic visuals always look as if they’re a Powerpoint theme (see images below)? They do look like that, don’t they?

I still have no idea why Kakeru has a bad case of resting b**** face, but…uh yeah, forget I said that. The sound direction in this show’s really nice. It really takes advantage of quiet moment to insert natural sounds.

I think if you go “yes!” when Haiji says “I’m going to win over all the dudes”, then you’re sold on the show. I did go “yes”, just without speaking. You know those feelings you only get in your gut and heart? Yeah, like that.

Huh? I noticed a dude called Bruce Chiou is in the credits and he’s definitely on RErideD this season too…

Out of this one, Slime Datta Ken and Double Decker it’s ranked last, but this show’s still a pretty strong addition to the seasonal lineup. Only time will tell if I kick it out or not…

Bakumatsu 1

The only experience I have with this era in anime is Bakumatsu Rock, I think…and that means I don’t know much about it.

Actually…considering the OP, scratch that. I know a bunch because of Touken Ranbu and other similar historical shows.

A…boob window? On a man? I get the black skintight vest is meant to be sexy, but I can’t see the point of that diamond…it’s just something extra for the animators and the illustrators to deal with.

C’mon. Can we not have Dudes Swishing Their Swords at the 4th Wall as something meant to hype up the audience? It’s a cliché, almost as bad as the running scenes you often get in OPs and EDs…Seriously, I can’t believe I’m getting mad at 10 dudes swinging their swords like this (specifically I’m getting mad because they were all in succession – doesn’t matter if it was in time to the music or not).

Okay, who transplanted WWI into this? I know that’s the point of the show, but the sepia really sold the idea of “this is meant to be Old-Timey Wimey Stuff and whoever’s meant to be watching is meant to be a history buff so they can spot the difference”.

Part of the ep title is “Mou Ichido no Bakumatsu”, so a better translation is “The Bakumatsu (Era) – Again!”

Wait, I thought Kondo was meant to look hotter than this (especially because he had what appears to be a coin – or an old-timey family crest – on his head). The frumpy mouth doesn’t sell the goods, yo.

Somehow…I knew Katsura would have glasses. He has them in Bakumatsu Rock. But is it historically accurate to have glasses in the Bakumatsu era, though?

Come to think of it…something that controls time would be pretty hard to destroy, no?

I think I read on ANN that swords being too big to draw in ship quarters is accurate. Hmm.

If this is such an important treasure…then why not have more padlocks on it? Or more guards closer to it (although those guys probably ran away)? Or some other protection around it? Couldn’t this supposed Yoshinobu-sama fight for himself?...Then again, I think this is just a case of overthinking. (insert MST3K mantra here)

Puh-lease. As much as I want a kunoichi (lady ninja) in my shows, don’t make them Naruto run. That’s one of my pet peeves…

Uh…Hagi? That’s probably it, considering there’s a river in the show.

Kakesoba.

Kamaboko.

Tanuki soba.

Well, there’s something to be said about being able to steal Shinsengumi jackets while the men are eating noodles. At least it didn’t involve knocking them out though (weak LOL).

Okay…why do the Shinsengumi look like waiters now? As much as I like a dude in a waiter suit, if I wanted a waiter, I’d go to a fancy French restaurant…

I feel like I’m being clubbed over the head with themes in this show. C’mon, have more tact than that.

There’s basically no chemistry between these guys (Katsura and Shinsaku). How did they meet?

Wait, so Darker Blue is Sakamoto if Green is Katsura and Red is Shinsaku? Sakamoto (Ryouma) is the redhead in Bakumatsu Rock, isn’t he? Okay then. But who’s White?

Seriously, Shinsaku. Learn from the kunoichi and stay quiet and stealthy. I don’t need another shonen hero…

Oh man, Toshizou is normally one of the Shinsengumi I like best (or at least I recognise his name more) out of these kinds of shows. If he has Perma-Scowl, I can’t possibly like this version.

Oh goodness. Souji’s a friggin’ sadist. Come to think of it though, I think this (Okita) Souji looks like the one from Gintama.

Why does Toshizou sound a frigton like any given Touken Ranbu sword…?

If that katana is symbolic…Toshizou must be hecka masculine, LEL. (Note: A “LEL” is not quite a LOL, it’s mostly done in jest. If anything, it’s probably about half a LOL.)

If that blonde ain’t Abe no Seimei, Yoshinobu-sama or some other important historical figure I know the name of, I’m eating my hat! (Not that I’m wearing one, it’s a figure of speech.)

I like Sakamoto’s face here, but man, I get distracted by the man candy below it…(i.e. his abs and bare chest, LOL. What did you think I was referring to?)

Oh great. (sarcastic) Sanada Yukimura almost always has that silly helmet, ever since Sengoku Musou I’ve pretty much tried to run away from it. I’d recognise it anywhere.

Who had the grand idea of letting Sanada keep his horse, anyway?

Okay, as much as I like making snarky comments, I made one too many here, methinks. Time for the drop pile.

Zombieland Saga 1

I read spoilers just a little bit, so I know the main twist is “zombie idols that sing death metal” already. If you didn’t want to know that at this point…sorry.

Whoa! They killed their protag off the bat? Not that I didn’t know that wouldn’t happen (already knew it would), but that’s gutsy. Truck-kun, go back to your darn isekai shows already.

Okay, I know this is a schoolgirl, but can we not with Sakura’s Schoolgirl Run for Dainty Ladies? This is a zombie show, dangit. Run properly. Can we also not with the boob jiggle?

Well, that’s one way to defeat a police officer (or get yourself arrested): Spade to the Brain.

Otsumami appears to be the name for the squid in Kotaro’s pocket.

You can’t see Kotaro’s eyes, even behind those sunnies…hmm…

Wow. Miyano sounds like he’s having such fun voicing Kotaro, y’know?

From the flyer: “They are coming soon from the underground...” Yup, that’s right, alright. Zombies have already come from the underground.

Tae’s credited under ????. They’re still holding out on us!

It seems like a pretty good keeper, provided you can keep up with who’s who.

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..

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DakaIchi 1

Yep, the BL anime. Thought I’d never try one? Think again.

As much as I do think I’d want to be hugged by Takato, his face…makes him look like he came out of Junjou Romantica…? Uhh…awkward.

Please don’t let this be a work full of sadism and BDSM. I’m not that kinky, y’know…?

Uh, if you ever knew “boundaries”, Azumaya, that would be great. Thanks.

LOL, what a way to win a dude over. $10! That is cheap for a star.

I’m still wondering if this all constitutes “assault” or some other illegal business. I mean, Takato agreed to everything under the influence of a bunch of drinks.

LOL, the director’s shirt says “concentration”. As in, “focus on the stuff you’re doing”.

Hey wait, how does anyone pull off a kabedon on an operation curtain?!

Uh…maybe it’s just my inexperience with the genre, but…what the heck was that scene with the feathers?

Dangit, Yaoi Hands. If I weren’t so aware of you already, you wouldn’t be breaking the immersion of this show!!!

Random Dance Ending? I so did not expect that, I’m laughing as a result.

Uhh…I cannot believe I did that. I watched an episode of a yaoi anime and coveredit without it ruining my pride! To think I watched 18+ shoujo ai before 18+ shonen ai is really something I cannot get my head around, though…not that I will ever tell you which shoujo ai show I watched. So…uh, it was actually pretty decent aside from the “I don’t get what the heck this scene is meant to be” bits which are probably staples of the genre.

...

..

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Radiant 1

Uhh…why do I feel like I’m watching Deltora Quest for the 3rd time? Not that Deltora Quest is bad, it’s just too stereotypically high fantasy.

Mahoutsukai. Literally “mage”, but could be “wizard” or “sorcerer” if you went with it loosely. Then again, the French word for sorcerer must be pretty close to the English one which should be enough of a guide for translators, right?

Eh? It’s an…elephant –cow? What is this, Avatar  the Last Airbender? (half-snarking)

I think as the show goes along, its comedic timing is actually getting…better. That’s something, huh?

The show’s just a tiny bit too heavy-handed with its themes of racism or whatever sorcerers stand for. Then again, this is a shonen show. It’s allowed to be this way.

Geez, stylised English really is the order of the day for anime these days, huh? Lessee here…Alma’s…uh, Observatory, I think it says…?

Uh…all this talk about grimoires is giving me bad flashbacks…bad, screamy flashbacks involving a certain Asta…

I just noticed Alma gets referred to that way by Seth. Are these two not related, even though they share the same house (?) and hair colour?

Oh great. (sarcastic) Toilet humour. One of my worst enemies, aside from fanservice…

What’s up with the bat (?)? It knd of seems to be Alma’s…

Hey, I…think I know this kind of story too well. It’s going to eventually end, after a long run, with an adult Seth and that girl from one of the key visuals together…or something. Shonen are weird like that. They always end with a happily ever after and an adult protagonist, or the “the adventure just keeps happening!” sort of thing…y’know?

The plural of Nemesis is “Nemeses”, but it seems the book Seth read said “Nemesis’ Egg”. So the plural is the same as the singular in this case.

Huh? They chose to put both fancily-written French and then Japanese under it, as a homage to the French origins of this work? Huh, interesting.

Tommy’s saying “Gyaaaaah!” not “Yaaaaaaah!” - there’s a difference between those two, y’know?

SSSS.Gridman 1

As a self-professed fan of heroes who never actually got into tokusatsu because I keep missing Power Rangers when it airs on local TV stations, this and Garo are filling in a genre space I never really had until I started wandering tokusatsu wikis...which was before the live-action Power Rangers came out, methinks.

Why do I feel like I’ve seen this font (the one “SSSS.Gridman” is written in)? I thought it was a Calvin Harris music video, since I have a few downloaded legally (due to a CD I found in one particular library), but Harris’s font is slightly different to this one…Well, after some experimentation, it seems to be Arial with extra kerning.

“Amnesiac” is starting to become an anime trope in itself…

Seven-Two-One, LOL.

Ahh, children in puberty. Can’t tell whether relationships are romantic or just platonic. (wistful)

If Utsumi isn’t the goth dude from earlier, I’m eating my hat! (Not that I’m wearing one right-oh, I’ve used this joke before, haven’t I?)

…dangit, now I have to eat my metaphorical hat. By the by, I thought Utsumi was an Ume sort of character (as in, the type who would usually get voiced by Yuichiro Umehara), but no, it was Soma Saito.

The girl with the purple hair reminds me of the Administrator (or whatever her name is, the AI) from Yakusoku no Nanayamatsuri.

Regardless of whether the scene was with volume or not, that awkward pause between Shinjo, Utsumi and Hibiki went just a weeny bit too long…

When Takarada approached Utsumi and Hibiki, the colours of her earphones and eyes really popped!

They seem to treat memory loss as something minor, like a cold. It’s a bit awkward, I think.

Utsumi, kid. If you think computers from the 70s and 80s are huge, you should see server rooms! Those computers are huge! Not to mention, the first computers filled up entire rooms (just like servers do). Even portable server units are about a good 160 cm tall with wheels…oh, you don’t want to hear me prattle on about this? Okay, moving on.

“This really is a pile of junk, huh?” I had to go back and check someone hadn’t skipped a word – they did skip the word, in fact.

T-This is what Trigger have held out on us for? A monster like this looks terrible in CGI, man. Even if it is one of the better efforts. I mean, the eyes don’t even look in the same direction…

Why does Utsumi refer to the computer as “Junk”?

The Ultra series? Y’mean Ultraman?

Let’s just say…Gridman looks much better than the kaiju here.

They didn’t even dispose of the kaiju head properly, LOL.

I feel like the battle didn’t quite get my blood boiling. (Probably because I was grumbling too hard at the kaiju and the parts where the execution got a little too silly.) I’ll put it on hold and see if it gets better in a few episodes, but I’m not holding my breath. Since this is Trigger, it could pull off some great stuff if it tried…it’s just this seemed a little soulless in comparison to everything else I’ve seen them do. Or maybe my increased consumption of anime this year has left me jaded...

[aleksandrakv]

Social media in Adam Lambert’s life&career

It’s been so long since I’ve written anything longer than a tweet about Adam, but this stanning lethargy doesn’t reflect the level of my interest in the man. It may appear so, but can the lack of online presence automatically imply the lack of interest? In today’s state of affairs, when artists have carefully constructed and heavily monitored internet presence, when YouTube views are everything and the most powerful politicians seem to pay more attention to Twitter than their jobs, it would be understandable if it could. The www. has finally become literally that – a worldwide group chat, where presidents tweet, where actors, musicians and sportsmen keep vlogs on YouTube, writers publish their essays on Facebook, and everybody comments.

Adam Lambert has chosen not to do so. In an era when YouTube stars become singers who get Saturday Night Live slots where they whisper the lyrics into a microphone, and when the top trending video which garnered more than 30 million views in a day is one of a reality star announcing her pregnancy, Adam has taken a quiet step back in the past few years - and I together with him. I couldn’t help it. Twitter has lost its appeal to me ever since a constant possibility that Adam could see a particularly flaily or witty tweet was no longer an option – the magic of giddy anticipation was gone. For all intents and purposes, Adam has semi-abandoned Twitter and moved to Instagram; a Facebook affiliated app which I never took a liking to.

I was upset and a little resentful. I didn’t understand why. Not only did I have to suffer the cruel Atlantic Ocean between us, but now we were on different online apps, which is a fate way worse than living on different continents, according to cyber sense of geography. In my bitterness, I even had an occasional mean thought on the subject. Oh yeah, that’s because he can ogle hot guys there. What about MEEE? Or, even worse: it’s because of the filters. The man LOVES a good filter, the vain queen. Or, absolutely the worst: he wanted to escape the twitter crazies. It was the worst because I should have known that the crazies are everywhere. I was bitchy, mean, and so, so wrong. This essay is my redemption. The price I want to pay for my stupidity, because Adam does have a social media presence, albeit not as aggressive as I might like. There is a reason for that, which he has already given. I had read it before, but it flew right over me like a sparrow, equally tender and fragile, leaving my head unruffled and thoughtless as if nothing had happened.

Even on his preferred social network, Adam’s behavior is somewhat atypical, in a sense that he doesn’t hesitate to share less than perfect photos. Unfiltered, sweaty, in-your-face, flaking makeup photos of the realistic kind - a rare occurrence among the Hollywood hotties. But he is a geek like the rest of us. The anticipation of waiting for the first photos to appear when he has a concert is one of the best parts of being his fan. Adam is incredibly photogenic, but sometimes, those photos are low quality ones, taken by fans on their phones, from pretty unflattering angles. Adam somehow manages to look great in most of them, despite the low angles and the fact that great physical exertion makes everyone look awful. Being photographed in the middle of an adrenaline rush while singing from the top of your lungs for two hours is challenging. His facial features almost rearrange with strain, but Adam simply knows how to pose and is rarely caught off guard – a life’s tiny miracle.  I love those candid pictures. And Adam posts only the best of them.

It’s the professional photos where he shines the most. Those are usually true works of art, crispy sharp and simply stunning in their quality. I don’t think I’ve ever seen less than perfect professional photo of Adam. They capture the moments that would otherwise be missed and allow you to fully appreciate the visual side the concert. In videos, the focus is primarily on the sound and the movement, but if I had to choose which medium reflects Adam’s emotional state and journey during concerts best, I would choose photography. It’s a strange thing to say about a singer, but Adam has a very expressive face and body. It’s like their muteness and stillness don’t subtract, but add to the experience of Adam’s process of creation.

In addition to music photography, Adam posts everything and anything that’s important to him, seemingly with no rhyme or reason. His Instagram page is a mess, a potpourri of professional photos, fan photos, album covers, photos of his family, friends, his dog, travelling photos, fashion photos, and all that in uneven levels of quality which most posters would never allow themselves. Adam has it all, from professional HD quality to grainy and blurry shots taken by a phone. It’s a far cry from carefully coordinated, handpicked and posted after a thousandth try stylish representation of other serious posters. He doesn’t juice for a week before taking selfies. He doesn’t always filter. He doesn’t always look pretty. He isn’t always all mysterious and artistic. He’s sometimes such a goofball. He is definitely an undisciplined Instagram user. 

It’s a revealing fact. He deletes his posts sometimes, and I’m not sure if it’s the morning after self-filtering, or he gets the call. Social media can make or break a career nowadays. But on the other hand, you can be a successful artist without constant media presence – although it is a pretty rare occurrence. The only example coming to my mind is Frank Ocean. There are artists who have a modest number of followers and YouTube views, and yet they can and do fill up arenas, just as there are artists who have millions of followers and cannot have a decent tour. 

In Adam’s case, I feel like he is past making or breaking his career online. At this point, he doesn’t need a heavily moderated Instagram page or a vlogging channel to achieve anything - other than making me happier, that is. The fact that I would love if Adam was more present, by engaging with his fans more, or, in best case scenario, vlogging about his life and career (I would sell my firstborn for that), doesn’t mean much in grander scheme of things. Adam has allowed himself the luxury of doing what he wants, and his Instagram page reflects that in the clearest of ways. I am not saying he wouldn’t benefit from having 50 million followers on Twitter or Instagram, but, he just doesn’t have that. If he can’t get it from doing his job and being who he is, he will never get it anyway. He refuses to participate in the social media race. So, unlike many a budding YouTube star trying to make it in other fields by creating an ideal, unrealistic impression of themselves, with their uniform, heavily filtered, grayscale artsy photos, Adam’s multifarious posts do reveal a lot simply by not being what one would expect. He’s a rebel just for kicks there. 

Oh, there is some vanity there; he isn’t above it nor does he pretend to be. He smizes and pouts in many filtered photos and videos, enjoying his flawless skin provided by Instagram CEO Kevin Systrom’s filtering system, turning his head like this and like that like a Valley girl – but that’s just Adam playing with his toy. He has this proclivity for ridiculous behavior; that and the fact that he loves the ageless chibi art of Creative Sharka makes me sometimes think that he has entered a serious fear-of-getting-old phase. It would have been true if he posted such photos only, which he most definitely doesn’t.

Adam is a naturally beautiful man, why does he have to goof around like that? Well, because he is so much more than that. Because more than stunning good looks, he has a killer sense of humor. Because more than looking pretty and feeding his vanity, he loves having fun. He mocks himself, too. “I swear I didn't realize I was making full duck face” is his own comment on a truly astounding full duck face he made while trying to credit Valentino for a clothing item. He loves stand-up comedy. He’s watched the Amy Schumer Leather special, and the Ricky Gervais Humanity special, and posted about both shows. That’s how I know.

There’s a selfie which he took while Antinous was being tattooed on his torso – a particularly painful experience, according to him; hence the awkward facial expression. The photo is so ridiculous and unflattering that it immediately reminded me of the comical selfies which Ricky Gervais takes all the time, trying to look as ugly as possible in them, thus expressing his mockery on the worldwide mania of posting unrealistically perfect photos. Adam has a comedic streak a mile wide, and not only does it come out in concerts and movie roles such as his part of Eddie in the Rocky Horror Picture Show, but also in his Instagram page as well. Unlike Ricky, Adam just wants to laugh at himself. Yes, he sometimes looks ridiculous and weird - don’t we all? He’s no bullshitter, and never will be. 

Now would be a great moment to mention his Grandma June alter ego. So, Adam has decided it would be great to make himself look forty years older, name the character Grandma June and rant throughout several videos on many a current topic. Who? What? Adam, the most eligible gay bachelor of several times? Adam, the Zeus in a thong sex symbol for many? Unbelievable. Waves of discomfort could be felt throughout the shallower waters of the fandom. Was he just having fun with it? Was he mocking himself for overusing de-aging filters? Was he helping himself get over his own fear of aging by laughing at his own expense? Was it some kind of reverse psychology/psychotherapy via Snapchat filters? Was it to shock his fans who come to his page for hotness and beauty galore, only to find Grandma June blinking owlishly at them? The list is endless. It’s like he was saying, ‘yeah, I’m hot, but I’m also ridiculous, funny and a little bit on the crazy side.’ Who knows. It’s certainly less ridiculous than me putting words in his mouth. It is also very non-Hollywood of Adam, where ageism is rampant and the anti-aging industry flourishes, where kids start injecting botox as soon as they’re twenty and where a lot of people take faces they’re born with as a slight suggestion. Interesting topic.

We’re now traipsing deeper and deeper into Adam’s more hidden depths. This makes it sound like scrolling through his Instagram page is a voyage into the heart of darkness, the Apocalypse Now style; but it does feel adventurous after you parse through the regular job-related stuff. Such aside interests tell us a lot about him and his fascinations, like his love and respect for other artists. He is a true fan at heart, expressing himself unabashedly and passionately – so many pictures of Freddie, Bowie and George Michael, but also Goldfrapp, Demi, Lady Gaga, and all his musician friends. Sometimes, he puts the flailers in his own fandom to shame. I like that about him. I feel like it’s a level we can relate on. And I love that he doesn’t have cheap, tit-for-tat, I’ll-do-you-and-you-do-me mentality. When he says that he likes something, you better fucking believe that he does.

He also loves nature. He posts sceneries – the beloved Runyon Canyon, the Ibiza cruise, Mexico, Bali, Mykonos in Greece, Argentina, you name it - but, he will also post a photo of a single olive tree. The fandom speculated for three days about what it could possibly mean. He posted a video of a single butterfly flapping its wings, and a colony of bats, and a lonely gecko crawling up the wall and a mother duck and her ducklings swimming in the lake. Endless photos of Pharaoh don’t even count. Details from around him capture his attention in a way that he expresses his emotive, intuitive side by showing us the impact they have on him. In his private moments, he is a far cry from a wild rocker living his wild rock’n’roll life. He’s so much more than that. He’s a tree watcher. A butterfly watcher. A bird watcher. Life and observing life clearly excites him.

He also loves architecture. He will post pictures of streets and buildings, sculptures and monuments, from everywhere he goes, and he travels a lot. Someone else would probably spend all pre- and post-concert time in hibernation accumulating energy, but not Adam. He loves the bas-reliefs, ancient facades, the Greco-Roman culture, supporting columns and carvings of Venetian houses; but every now and then he will also post some strange things, like tombstones. He’s a traveler with a twist. When he goes somewhere new, he sometimes visits cemeteries.  He’s been to Boston Cemetery and Buenos Aires Cemetery. He posted a photo of the entrance to Jesus’ tomb from his visit to Jerusalem. No matter what B Hollywood horror movies are trying to tell us, cemeteries are never about being creepy or frightful -- they are like a library for the imagination. Wandering cemeteries around the globe, reading headstones, thinking about the lives of the people there, the mind wanders into a thousand stories. It can be therapeutic. But, who knows what Adam’s motives were. All I know is that he is more than just a traveler – he is also a spiritual explorer.

In everything he does, he rarely stays within the lines. This diversity tells us that Adam is a complex man before he is an artist, and even less than he is an artist, that he is a promoting artist. His self-promoting campaigns are there, but ever so subtle and discrete - nothing like the aggressive campaigning that has become obligatory nowadays. I’m not talking about the management or the label part in it, or whoever is in charge of his promotion; just Adam’s own role in it. A few tweets, a few Instagram posts, mostly just informative in nature, before a new release. Regarding concerts, a tweet before and after is a rarity. An occasional review. He will sometimes post great photos after concerts, though. I have no idea how to explain such behavior other than to say that he doesn’t want to do it, nor does he feel like he has to. Maybe he is of the ‘an artist should never reveal too much and keep a level of mystery’ persuasion. Maybe he believes the music will find its way to those who want to hear it. Or maybe he just finds it tacky, as I do, the ad nauseam self-promoting of certain artists. Who knows. I certainly wouldn’t find it tacky if Adam did it. We’ll see how Era 4 will roll out and if Adam will be more talkative then. The one explanation I personally find the most believable is that he is a well-mannered man who believes that you should let someone else praise you, and not your own mouth; an outsider, and not your own lips; but that’s because I tend to attribute Adam superhuman qualities. He can’t be that much of a gentleman, can he?

He is not very verbose in his Instagram captions either; most of them, that is. His posts are usually with very little or no comment from him. He tags the people in the photo, or he gives credit to the photographer – he is pretty diligent about it. On few unfortunate occasions when that didn’t happen, we had a mutiny among the photographers which ended with bruised egos on both sides.

So sparse are his comments, that when you do bump onto a few loquacious ones, you just know that it must be something of utter importance or that he feels strongly about. You don’t have to guess anything then, or draw unfortunate conclusions, which is a game his fans like to play and that Adam likes to engage us in by dropping random hints. No game here – his words are loud and crystal clear, concise and to the point, and apart from bringing my attention to the relevance of such particular posts, they serve to remind me what a great thinker and an amazing human being Adam is. Those words are always about love and equality.   

One of such glimpses into his more private, passionate side is certainly his love and appreciation for  Creative Sharka, a fan who makes digital paintings and chibi art of Adam and the moments in his career. He has posted her art several times and even met with her during his tour - such gratitude and appreciation of a fan really warms my heart. It tells me what I already knew: that he is such a fan himself, a great lover of everything that inspires him and open in his heart for the reciprocal love exchange between artists as the highest form of flattery. He’s had such situation in his career several times, on various levels, but this one with a fan feels truly rewarding.

Creative Sharka gives him her art, but it doesn’t have to be a tangible thing. One of the most revealing and emotional comments he wrote under a photo from one of his performances reveals so much. It is a photo whose focal point are the backs of two people, two guys, who are leaning against one another in a hug, their heads connected, and they are facing Adam singing on the stage in the background. They are in the forefront, their body language speaking of love; Adam is in the background, perhaps inspiring such connection. His comment says, “Really in luv w this photo. So sweet.”  I’ve never read Adam saying that about any picture, and it’s one of the amateur, fan ones, too – and all the more precious for that.  

But, does he always feel the love? Do we? Most of the times, I am sure that he does. But I have always imagined Adam as a highly emotional guy, which also means a great capacity for sadness, too, especially with so many reasons for it surrounding us. There is one, literally one sad comment that I have encountered during all these years. It’s under a photo of Frank the Robot’s head, taken before the show, with the top half of it waiting patiently to be connected with its bottom half by diligent Queen crew, so that Adam can ride it and spew obscenities into the audience from its shiny, metallic head. “Sad Clown,” is Adam’s caption. I don’t know if he felt bad for Frank at that moment, or the words are about Killer Queen, but there is a possibility  that the words are about Frank’s rider later on. Sometimes, he does have to hide his sadness and paint his smile on. Who doesn’t.

He truly belongs to one of the rarest of species – a beautiful man who becomes even more beautiful when he opens his mouth and speaks. Or sings. In the pre-Trump, pre-Brexit, pre-Vučić era, I used to take his words for granted. I believed everybody thought so, or almost everybody. I was spectacularly wrong. The bout of sadness that gripped me then is still not easing up. How can it? This Weltschmerz has affected everyone with a soul - Adam, too. Will our physical reality ever satisfy the demands of our minds and souls ever again? I believe so, as long as there are people like Adam, like Emma Gonzalez, like many others who are fighting for it. That is what hope sounds like. With rising urgency, Adam speaks up.

“Black lives matter. For all of u who totally miss the point of this movement, the GOAL is for all lives to matter equally. But as it stands, racism is preventing us from that ideal. We must fix the reality so we can grow toward hope.”

We must fix the reality… We really do, Adam. Faced with such thoughts, don’t all previous words about promotion and lack of internet presence sound frivolous? I am glad that this is how Adam feels. I am so proud of him for sharing his thoughts. 

When he posted a photo of Freddie, pointing out the hypocrisy of the ruling US political party using Freddie Mercury’s music, some people seemed to have an issue with that. This was Adam’s reply:

“I realize that there are many different schools of thought frequented by people following me on social media. EVERYONE is entitled to their opinions and beliefs. Including me. This is MY Instagram page where I share my experiences and feelings. If you don't agree with something, that's perfectly ok with me - but I'm not going to refrain from being me, and no one is forcing you to either.”

And refrained he has not. 

He’s spoken against the gun violence. 

He’s spoken about Orlando. About Paris. About all mass shootings. 

He’s also spoken at the Los Angeles Pride Resist March last year. Here are some of his words:

“I typically avoid publicly speaking about politics because of its divisiveness. People get real sensitive, and I ain’t trying to piss anybody off. But, this year things have gone way too far.

So I’m not speaking today about being a democrat vs. a republican. Today is about right vs. wrong. The current presidential administration has manipulated the country using fear and hate to gain power to divide us. Our differences are being used against us. And the shockwaves of this dangerous rhetoric have rippled throughout our community and beyond. And it fucking hurts. We’ve come way too far to stand by and watch our social progress be yanked backwards. It’s almost as if they’re going, ‘Eh, you’re different. You can’t sit with us.’ What the fuck is that? It’s childish and it needs to end now.

Our pride parade is usually an all out shit show of a party where we all dress up like crazy unicorns and prance around through the streets. Yeah! It’s a celebration of the progress we have made – our liberation, our freedom, our glitter. But this year, we are facing such dark forces that pride has taken on a deeper purpose. Protest. So today, we stand together in order to support anyone whose human rights are at risk. We resist homophobia. We resist transphobia. We resist misogyny. Bi-invisibility. We resist racism. Xenophobia. And we resist extremism, and anything else that helps promote hate. We stand defiant and will not be brainwashed. We refuse to be sucked into that kind of negativity.

But, I ask you not to fight hate with hate. We don’t want to be hypocrites. So how can we resist? I’ll tell you what I think:  with unity, with visibility, truth, inclusion, acceptance, and most importantly – love.”

Don’t his words boom loud? Read them and abide by them. Don’t scroll through or ignore them. 

Shame on those who think that Adam should only do his job and stop voicing his opinions and views. 

Shame on those who, blinded by his beauty, refer to him as a Ken doll. 

Shame on those who say that he is back in the closet. 

In his Love Letter to the LGBTQ community, which was published in Billboard magazine last year, he talks more about what his community means to him:

“Y'all are my true inspiration. You're life lines that have kept me grounded and thankful. All the LGBTQ musicians, dancers, drag queens, bar stars, club kids, DJ's, designers, actors, stylists, glam squads..... YOU are my circus family. It is because of all those years traipsing round our nocturnal playgrounds that I had any sense of how and why I wanted to stay the course; to rep for my queer family!

And now 8 years later, the LGBTQ community has come SO far. I see fellow artists AND civilians coming out with no apologies and no fucks given. Despite the current obstacles we face, I am blown away by our progress. We have come so far. My true fans share the same principles so we continue to welcome other alien weirdos into our family. Thank you ALL for inspiring and supporting my journey. I promise to keep doing the same for all of you.”

Should he speak more frequently? Adam has voiced his opinions time and again, but he won’t misuse the opportunity given to him. He has a sophisticated sense for not crossing the line between his art and his humanitarian fight. He  never pushes anything under anyone’s nose; not his art; not his fight. He never uses just causes as a self-promoting opportunity. 

This is all part of the reply to the question from the beginning about what the lack of social presence can mean. His social presence isn’t lacking, it is just of the unobtrusive kind. It’s all out there, only a few clicks away. Are we so used to the constant media shoveling content down our metaphorical throats that we can’t even register when something’s said only once?

Apparently, I am. Because I have already read Adam Lambert’s own explanation about deciding to moderate his social media presence and it hasn’t even made a blip on my radar at the time. I won’t tell you where his words are from, you can try to guess. It’s a direct quote. It says everything.  

How pathetic now seems the discussion about  flattering vs. less flattering photos? Don’t ask this man about the size of his gauges for a hundredth time and expect him to engage with his fans more. But Adam does, he does engage, for he isn’t a mean man and he answers the same trivial questions again and again. It’s perhaps a much better option than talking, I don’t know, about Weltschmerz. Sometimes, such discussions are better avoided, and not only that - he has already said what he wanted to say. It’s much more bearable to repeat the silly topics than the raw, emotional ones. The repetition hurts, and devalues the latter.  

It really is a journey, from Grandma June, to cultivating self-love and True Individuality; only not to the heart of darkness, but to the one of lightness. It’s all him, the philosopher and the comedian, the Frank’s head rider and the march speaker. Read his words. Don’t forget them, like I did. Laugh with him, but also think with him and be sad with him.

“True Individuality seems daunting in our age of social media popularity contests. Sometimes it’s terrifying to face your true, whole self, stripped of any pretense. The good, the bad, the cracks, and the scars. I am no stranger to the feeling of not liking myself. Once I get past my own body image issues, I realize that I sometimes also neglect my own spirit. Living in a world filled with so much hatred sometimes makes cultivating self-love a very difficult task. I have always struggled with this as I’m sure many of you have. My path is a kind of paradox in that I get to share my craft with the world, but also be willing to throw myself to the wolves. To dare to be different, but still wanting to be accepted. There is vast beauty to be found in life’s contradictions. This non-binary reality allows us to lead happy, expressive lives, and yet this very freedom comes with great risks. I’m not alone in this limbo. Through my art, I pledge to bring empathy and courage to anyone who has been made to feel unworthy or ashamed while daring to be themselves.”

***

~The sources for everything mentioned in the essay are Adam Lambert’s social media pages. I’ve decided against posting any links because I feel like this one reference is enough.

~No photos either,  since I mention too many of them  and this bloody thing is too long already. Just this one.

[delayedcritique]

DADDY’S HOME 2 REVIEW

“All you have to do movie is be better than A Bad Moms Christmas”

BY COLLIN DE LADE

              Daddy’s Home 2 is the latest Christmas family comedy about a group of established comedic adult characters that have to survive the holidays with their wacky parents coming to town. After fighting over who is the true dad of the family, Brad and Dusty, played by Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg, have learned to work together as co-parents. Not only does Brad and Dusty have to plan out one big Christmas for the kids, but they also have the problem of their own dads coming to visit. Mel Gibson plays Mark Wahlberg’s dad and John Lithgow plays Will Ferrell’s father. Can Brad and Dusty survive the holiday season and still remain friends along the way? Released only one week after the disastrous Bad Moms Christmas, I wasn’t expecting much out of this comedy sequel. While I don’t think this is anywhere close to a good movie, Daddy’s Home 2 surprisingly delivered on some goofy laughs throughout.

              Daddy’s Home 2 has everything that would make for a bad comedy. There was no reason to make a sequel from the first film, a lot of the humor is wildly immature and unrealistic, and there are multiple aspects that feel disturbing rather than funny. This is a very poorly made and cartoonish film, but it at least succeeded at making me laugh. I could analyze a comedy like this all day for its many cringe-worthy moments and manufactured manipulation of the audience’s emotions, but by the end of it all, this comedy made me laugh.

Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg once again were very funny together, I thought Mel Gibson and John Lithgow were good additions to the cast, and the kids were adorably funny throughout. Right from the moment when Will Ferrell was freaking out at seeing his dad come down the escalator, I was charmed by the stupidity of the film. John Lithgow was absolutely adorable in the movie. Aside from one scene involving an improv routine, he was the only actor to consistently make me laugh. Mel Gibson was also surprisingly charming in the movie. He plays the cocky womanizer that’s also the neglected father that’s commonly in comedies, but he brings a twisted charm to the role. Finally, I thought the young kids were good in the movie too. Even more, than in the first one, the young actor brought some charm and likability that wasn’t there in the original.

              Judging this as a comedy that’s sole purpose was to make me laugh, Daddy’s Home 2 surprisingly made me laugh more than in the first film. I would put this sequel over the first film simply because this was more than just jokes about making Will Ferrell appear as a pathetic loser. Judging this as a movie that is to be judged for its story and overall quality, my critical side begins to come out. Daddy’s Home 2 is a ridiculously unrealistic family comedy that’s meant to take place in the real world. You’ll get a scene of Will Ferrell stumbling with a snow blower that sucks up all the lights of the house immediately followed by concerns about John Lithgow hiding something from his son. The movie jumps back and forth from being a genially funny movie to an over the top Will Ferrell wacky festival of silly gags and stupid scenarios. Take for example the improv routine I mentioned earlier. John Lithgow is having a mental breakdown on stage that Will Ferrell is too naive to tell that it’s not part of the bit. It’s stupid stuff like that which prevent this from being an actual good movie.

              I am a big sucker for a funny comedy, and I got plenty of laughs out of this movie. Many people will not find this movie funny. If you have a problem with gun violence or gender equality, then you’re going to find this movie offensive. The main way to determine if you should see this movie is if you liked the first movie or not. The humor is very similar, and the quality is not that far off from the first one. If you completely disagree with me that this is a pretty funny movie, then that’s completely understandable as comedy is very subjective. It’s not the must-see movie of the holiday season, but it’s also not Bad Moms Christmas.

6.5/10

[imperialdramons]

Things I personally can’t stand in fics and writing in general. LONG rant, so stick with me people. This is a long overdue list that’s been in my drafts for ages.) VERY SUBJECTIVE in case that wasn’t obvious from the first sentence lmao. 1) Characters shipping the otp mentioned. I already like said OTP otherwise I wouldn’t be reading this fic. You don’t have to sell me on the concept of these characters dating, again, it’s why I’m reading the fic. You also don’t have to make characters ship them because, again, that’s what you have friends for- you talk to each other about what you like about the ship rather than sit by as a bystander while two other people go on talking about why they like said ship without allowing you to contribute a word. This is what we have social media for- conversation and opinions. 

I really despise when everyone in a fic suddenly decides “these characters ought to date yes they’re soul mates” almost as if they’re part of a hive-mind when this is the most unrealistic thing to expect when you put two characters in a room full of different people. Trust me, most people would be very uninterested in other people’s love life. The most you would get would be a few close friends making gags (but again- you don’t have to sell ME on the concept of the characters dating. I fail to see both the charm and the point of this) If you’re going for realism, this isn’t where you’ll find it. If you’re going for a joke, I fail to see the humor in it. If you’re planning to make me resent a otp I normally would love by literally forcing me to read opinions of people I don’t even know- you brought your A-game pumpkin, and you succeeded. I often get the impression characters that ship the fic’s otp are trying to either parody what I feel about the characters, or tell me how to feel about the characters, and neither of these leave a good impression. Is the point of this stunt to make the characters feel awkward? There’s many different scenarios you could put them into that could make them feel equally as awkward and give more rewarding results- especially since the fics i’ve read including this have had the characters react very little to others “shipping” them- it kind of just goes on in the background (why? if there is no point to it, why include it? again, it feels like you’re trying to sell me something i’ve already bought). Is it written so often bc there’s some satisfying factor in knowing everyone agrees with you both inside and outside the fic? Oh. I think we’ve reached the reason this is so popular in fics. Score 1+ for the hive mind!

2) Convenient stupidity. When a character acts in a way to either mislead or derail the plot from its actual purpose without getting punished for their stupidity or given a chance to redeem themselves. It’s such a time-waster, and often causes the plot to regress and for the characters to go through the same motions again. It’s not a deal-breaker, but it’s a real joykill to have to read about the characters trying to fix a problem that could easily have been avoided had the character just not acted stupid when it seemed convenient to drag things out further.

3) PLEASE DO NOT COPY SITCOM JOKES FROM SHOWS LIKE SEINFELD AND THE BIG BANG THEORY I WILL LITERALLY FLIP MY LID. It doesn’t take a trained eye to notice when a joke doesn’t fit the phrasing of a character. Some lines from popular sitcoms work with every character because they’re so generic, but sometimes the lines sound absolutely out of character when they come from a character who feels like they’re being held at gunpoint just to hammer in a joke or two. I have seen characters butchered momentarily just to hammer in a few jokes that immediately lose their humor, mainly because the jokes are not funny if I can tell someone is forcing the words into the character’s mouth. It doesn’t sound like anything they’d actually say, but something someone else wants them to say. It isn’t a deal-breaker, but it really takes me out of the fic. There was one fic that actually had me dig through my bad 90′s sitcom archive to find 3 shows with the exact same joke as said fic. Do you know how disturbing it is to read a fic and suddenly see Jerry Seinfeld’s face pop up in your mind like a jump scare? It’s terrifying.

4) I can’t stand when a fic has all the depression tags, all the dark and tragic story tropes, but let’s throw in a joke in every third paragraph despite talking about a dark subject- let’s even ruin the most serious moments with a joke because hey jokes are supposed to break tension right. Let’s not care if it looks out of place or forced, we have to have a joke dammnit. Yes, humor is often used to lighten up the mood when things get too serious- but you actually have to allow your audience to have a pause for things to remain serious for a while before you can make a joke. A lot of the joke relies on the element of surprise (timing), and the delivery. If you don’t allow us to breathe in and grow accustomed to the serious and dark tone, you won’t be able to make us laugh when you genuinely write something funny. It’s just harder to get into it when there’s so many jokes. Instead of being a dark fic with some nicely paced jokes, it turns into an internal conflict of whether or not you label the fic as a dark humor satire or dark themed fic with a lot of comedy in it that just doesn’t pace well. Very few people can get away with this without making the humor seem completely out of place (but I have actually seen it done), and it takes a huge amount of skill to actually make dark humor work- because when dark humor doesn’t work, it just sounds offensive or insulting. (Dark Humor is often offensive, but what’s offensive has to either have some truth to it, or genuinely be funny to work as dark humor.) Meanwhile, when regular humor doesn’t work, we often either don’t notice the joke, or just shrug at it “yeah it was bad but i’ve read worse” and keep reading. I have seen so many fics write dark themes wrong by making light of a very dark situation and that is all fine and good if you’re writing a comedy that is mocking tragic and dark tropes in the form of a satire. However, this doesn’t work if you want said fic to be “inspirational” or “educational” (or even SERIOUS) about mental illness or disorders. It really just confuses the reader as to what your actual goal is with the fic if you’re both trying to mock the problem, and educate people about the problem. This just goes out to the smartasses that dismiss criticism bc “I has the depression so you are wrong and your opinion is stupid bc you dont have the depression so anything you say is wrong 8D” Please gently fuck off.

5) This might be an unpopular opinion, but I personally rank a fic’s appeal by how well they conduct a premise. You might also say I rank fics by how badly they mess up an easy premise/moral they have to work with and make a simple topic seem very absurd. I don’t care if the premise is simple- if they wrote it well, they deserve props for it. If they wrote a difficult premise and the fic kind of fell apart, I can still give them some props because I can tell there was effort put into trying to make something work. However, when a fic takes an easy premise and completely butchers it, ohhhh boy. It almost becomes something akin to reading my immortal- for shits and giggles- a beautiful trainwreck. However, here’s a fun fact; I don’t hate my immortal, or hellstorm evangelion, and wouldn’t class them as “the worst fics in harry potter and evangelion”. Why? Because they started off with an absurd premise. As soon as I read an absurd premise, I know the fic is going to be absurd. The fic delivers what it promises, and I genuinely can’t flaw it for that. Of course the fics are bad, OOC on top of crazy ideas, but it didn’t really market itself differently or as anything but OOC and crazy- and this is why I also don’t take them seriously- because in a way- they don’t take themselves seriously.

What I do take seriously however are fics that try their hardest to make a point and then fail miserably because they didn’t bother to do even the smallest amount of research- and I really do mean the most minuscule amount of research. I read a fic where a bruise lasted for 2 months. A bruise. Lasted 2 months. If a bruise is big and dark enough after 2 weeks you shouldn’t see a doctor, you should see an exorcist- because that thing needs to be sent to the shadow realm and fast. 2 months? A simple google search would have solved this. I actually didn’t know how long a bruise lasted for, but I took one look at that and shook my head, thinking “No. I really don’t think this is accurate.” but I actually decided to go look it up because “I might be wrong”. I might be nitpicking, but when your fic is trying to go for realism it doesn’t really help that you have these small bits of misinformation that could easily be corrected... One or two won’t kill the mood if the fic is good enough, but if the fic focuses on a subject that involves, oh, I don’t know, doctors/medicine (which i might add- i know near to nothing about) and relies on misinformation that even I can spot?... Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just skim some reliable sources for relevant information about what you’re writing about. Small aside- I get bothered when people put the word “literally” in front of things they mean to say are “figurative”. I can actually gloss over this most times (i do it too sometimes almost unknowingly), but when someone writes “Literally kicked the door down-” and in the very next sentence, say the door “swung open”- No. That is inaccurate. You can’t just shove “literally” in front of things and not expect it to change meaning. That is literally illiteracy.

6) Nicknames. I really cringe at “Darling” or “Cutie” in fics. Yes, people do this in real life and I’m guilty of it too- but have you ever been that one friend in a friendship circle where you don’t exactly feel as if you belong there and then you’re hearing 2 people call each other "darling” over and over again? Doesn’t that feel even the least bit uncomfortable? I often get that impression when I read fics of two characters going back and forth like this- i feel like the awkward third wheel that’s imposing on their fun. I can handle some pet names, but when they constantly say “darling” and “sweetie” over and over again, I can’t help but to feel as if the characters are losing some of their character in the dialogue (it is actually very corny). Most fics of non-canon ships are already putting characters into situations that are hard to swallow- but nicknames like “darling”? That’s probably an aspect of fics i’ll never be able to handle. I can’t say why I feel this way other than the fact it always feels forced and shoehorned in (unless the character themselves have also used this word multiple times) There are of course the exceptions. The exceptions are the characters who you can actually see say this kind of thing. Ringabel from Bravely Default is an easy example, or say, Cat Noir from Miraculous- but the phrases fit because they align with their character, and aren’t just put there to “be cute” but to be “accurate” to the portrayal. That doesn’t mean “if you dont use pet names for these characters, you’re misrepresenting them”- it just means that these specific characters seem like they might engage in petnames, whereas someone as... hm... let’s say Jotaro from jjba probably wouldn’t do it in a serious manner, and neither would Cyrus from Platinum. Some characters fit the bill and others don’t, and I know this is highly subjective, but to make things simple; the goofy characters are always the ones who I can see use such language seriously or unironically without it feeling out of place.

THERE’S MORE, But I’m tired and this rant has been long long long and I want to go eat eat eat. Maybe later i’ll add a few more in a brief because this kind of went on for a lil too long than necessary.