#characters who hug eachother a little tighter- not even knowing it’s their last time in eachother’s arms

[thief-of-eggs]

There’s something about doomed romances that’s so special and dear to me. The ones that clearly won’t work, or are clearly set up for failure down the road. The one’s where even the depths of their love can’t save them, because the world has set them up to fall. There’s something about those ships in particular that I go absolutely feral for.

[pridepurgatorium]

— I’ve tried hard to love you. (Try harder to save me.)

Lucifer/reader, gn!reader, PG13, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH

Original AO3 link here.

Chapter 5/5 [Series masterlist]

Quite the bombshell to drop after a silly jam session. Your heart was beating out of your chest so you can only imagine what Lucifer’s feels like. If only you had the capacity to fully understand how another being feels, maybe your lives would’ve been easier? But were you really thinking about yourself? Maybe you were really just hoping to get an idea of Lucifer and his vast mindscape. I mean imagine you just start gaining memories about your past lives with your lover but you don’t currently love them- er-? He could love you right now? You’re overthinking again.

“Yes, ma chérie.” You reply to his realization with only a little bit of shame. It kinda felt like you were hiding this from him. You knew that it would come down to this but you were hiding. From him. From the truth. From yourself. And with his realization came your shattering reality. You were really going to die. And it was going to be soon. And you wanted this? You mean yes of course you want to die after all this time. And deaths. But what if this one hurt a lot more? Or what if it failed. What happens after you die? Is it nothingness? No you can’t do that please you just wanna be happy-

Suddenly and rather violently if you do say so yourself, Lucifer grabbed you and hugged you tightly. 

“My dear you’ll be ok.” Gently shushing your hyperventilating you hadn’t even realized started.

“I can’t do it Lucifer! What if there’s nothing after I’m dead? I’ll be alone? Forever! I can’t do that Lucifer! I’m- I can’t be al-alone! I CAN’T- I can’t L-Lucifer maybe this isn’t so bad I-“ Your rambling continues while Lucifer shushes you and hugs you tighter. 

You couldn’t explain this to anyone. How you’d gotten so close to Lucifer so quickly. If anyone walked in you almost think you’d muster a laugh in your despair. Lucifer must have stuck out like a sore thumb. Authoritarian turned soft teddy bear. 

“Sweetheart. Hey. It’s ok. I know your scared. I know we don’t technically know eachother. But know that wherever you go, I will follow.” Your sobbing had the opposite effect of you assume he wanted. You sobbed harder. 

“How will you find me?!? I will be gone with nothing but mortal possessions and memories!” You raised your voice, but Lucifer knew it was not him you were angry at. 

“If I go to heaven how will you find me? If I’m in hell I must be punished! Lucifer I’m-“ Your screaming continued but as if a blessing from The Lord himself none of the brothers investigated. Maybe Diavolo filled them in.

“If you are in heaven I will demand Simeon bring you back to me. And my dear there’s nothing you could do to land in hell, you’re perfect. Wherever you go I will find you, if I cannot do I will find someone who can. My love for you transcends time.” Lucifer said and you got a strange sense of déjà vu but maybe he’s said that before?

More calmed down now, it was time to discuss the logistics with Diavolo and Solomon.

Walking to the castle gave you a sense of familiarity, with your freedom acquired the last time your legs took you here. And now you are back. For a freedom of sorts. But this would be a melancholy freedom. One that would leave everyone you love in shambles but knowing this would be the last time. The last set of your loved ones to see you in the flesh and the finale.

Solomon was filled in on the situation when you and Lucifer got there. You sensed he might want to ask more questions but now was not the time. He was free to read your diary and notebooks when you were dead. The finality of it all. The fact you would not have another exchange program to go back to.There would not be another greeting and welcome to the exchange program for Diavolo. There would not be another Mammon running through the door. There would not be another Lucifer to hold you close and dance with you and sing with you and play songs with you and love you. Perhaps that was what scared you the most.

“We acquired the night dagger, I assume you’ve said your goodbyes?” Solomon asked. 

The picture of apathy. You weren’t even really sure if this was affecting him but if the look in his eyes he was faking. Perhaps that is what hurt you the most. None of them would see you again. Your mind races back to your other friends. The ones in the other timelines. 

“All but you guys.” You reply to the question you’d almost forgotten. 

You and Lucifer had been avoiding a goodbye. If you acknowledge this was your last goodbye you're sure you would have broken down once again.

“Do you truly want to die?” Diavolo asked. The question left you shaken but your resolve was still. 

“Diavolo my time was done long ago. If I don’t die here I think I truly will go mad.” You intended for it to be playful but it ended up more harsh.

“Here’s the night dagger. W- We- You will be missed dearly.” Diavolo finally settled on.

Your dear friends seemed to remember your memories with them and that broke your heart more severely than you had expected possible.

“Solomon and Lord Diavolo, could you please leave us be for a second? I have something to do with them.” Lucifer’s request seemed out of the blue, but to you, you knew what was coming. His final request to you, his friend, his lover. 

They left the two of you in silence.

“Would you care for a dance, my dear?” Lucifer asked.

“Anything for you, my sweetheart.” You said.

He grabbed you and the two of you fell into a rhythm that felt correct. There was no music but if focused hard enough you could almost tell what would be playing. There was no melody in your head but rather, the somber strings of a sad violin, the harsh bang of the timpani. Your life turned into a symphony. 

“If I may be transparent, I had another reason for getting you alone.”

You had expected as much, and you suspected Diavolo at the least also figured out Lucifer’s alternative motives. 

“I don’t think I can kill you in front of anyone else.” He finished.

“I assumed as much. My Morningstar, you will be okay.” You said to him.

“Take the dagger and pretend I’m your most hated enemy and…”

This was awkward and sad and somber and you were tired but you knew Lucifer was even worse.

“I’m sorry this is the way it turned out for you. I’m sorry I broke your heart every time. I love you so much I’m at a loss for how to thoroughly express myself.” 

“It is ok my dear, I must be strong.” He had tears streaming down his face.

He grabbed the dagger and you knew your time was almost up.

Grabbing his face and surrendering him to a macabre kiss, he pierced the dagger in your heart. 

“Goodbye, my Lucifer.”

Your last breath, spent on your lover's name.

“Goodbye my sweetheart. I love you.”

Perhaps that was what hurt him the most. Your fade into nothingness.

But were you really fading into nothingness? Your life impacted the most powerful demons in the world. A great sorcerer. Two kind angels. A reaper. 

A million thoughts raced through your head.

You were gone, but you would not be forgotten. Your policies as ambassador. Your time with the brothers. Helping them grieve their sister. Hopefully they remember what you taught them.

Lucifer had opened up so much. He talked to you about his emotions. This would break him as it broke him every time you died. But you only thought about it now. Perhaps you were selfish. 

He’s beautiful.

And that was your last thought as you finally left for whatever awaited you in the afterlife.

I love you Lucifer.

And with that we conclude, hope you enjoyed this trainwreck. I’m almost 100% sure that I’d cringe if I did anything more than skim it but it’s cathartic to see where I’ve come from, this was my first ever fanfic and it has served it’s purpose in my heart, hopeful it’s enjoyable for you as well.

[loousir]

[Elf] Royal Secrets

Secret Elf King x Royal Second Hand Reader

Faelynn

Warnings: Smoochin, tavern talks, time skips, uhh

Masterlist

-----------------------------------------------------------------

You ran and hand through your hair with a sigh, sitting down on the bar chair with a soft 'plop'. The bartender looked to you with a fond and familiar smile. "Rough day again (Y/n)?" He asked while pulling out a glass from one of the cabinets. "I sometimes think my days will get better but I guess not. He is not fun to deal with... Especially when he's in a bad mood." The bartender smiled again and set a drink down in front of you.

"Well, just relax for tonight. You don't have any tasks for tomorrow do you?" You took a sip of the drink and smiled softly before that disappeared. "No, I don't. But I've got an important meeting day after tomorrow so I have to spend some time finalizing documents and getting ready for it."

"And by some time you mean the whole day? I get that..." A voice two seats over spoke, making both you and the bartender look to him. "Sorry, I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. I'm Lynn." You smiled and introduced yourself as well which lead to the bartender walking off and making drinks for a group that had came in.

You and Lynn hit it off instantly. Both of you talked about various things related to your, work, if you will and you never thought you could fall for someone upon first meeting but...

'I just might have...'

"Lynn, I have a question." He hummed as he took a sip from his own drink. "How often do you come here? I've noticed you a few times before but I've never actually heard you talk to anyone." Lynn smiles softly and sets his cup down. "I try to come as often as I have time. And I've not talked to anyone cause their conversations haven't quite caught my attention like yours." You smiled and looked down to your hands that were intertwined around the small cup that you have.

You sighed and glanced at the clock that hung on the wall behind the bar. "Damn, I have to get going." You looked over to Lynn who had looked up to the clock as well.

'Woah, he's an elf? No wonder he's so beautiful.'

You though as you stared at him. He looked back to you and tilted his head slightly. "Are you ok (Y/n)?" His question had pulled you from your thoughts, making you blush and chuckle. "Yes, sorry. Is there a possibility I could see you again?" Lynn nods. "I'll be available to come pretty often but after this month I won't be able to for a little. It's when things bet busy for me unfortunately." He said with a sad tone and a soft sigh. You smiled and shook your head, slipping off of the chair and walking over to him.

He watched you walk over and grab his hand. You gently kissed his knuckles, keeping eye contact which made him blush slightly. "Til next do we meet Lynn. I look forward to it." You said gently letting his hand linger for a moment before letting him take it back. Lynn smiled and said a soft goodbye as he gently held the hand you kissed as you walked out of the bar.

'What an interesting character...'

•

--- •

The month that Lynn was available seemed to have passed in a flash. The two of you grew much, much closer than I'm sure either of you would've thought. Admittedly, neither of you had met outside of the tavern but, neither minded. This was a place both of you knew and could enjoy. You had been thinking about Lynn frequently. He was talking about something that had happened at his job which made you think.

'What just is his job? Maybe it's similar to mine with the way he talks about things.'

You thought to yourself, zoning out from what Lynn was saying. A soft hand grabbing your own, instantly snapping you from your thoughts. You looked down to his hand, gently grabbing yours. You smiled and held his hand in yours. "Sorry, I was lost in my own head again." You looked over to him to see he wasn't as smiley as you which made your smile fade. "Are you ok Lynn?" He holds on to your hand tighter and pulls it up to his lips, pressing them gently against the back of your hand.

"This may be the last day we get to see eachother for a while." The look you saw in his eyes made you want to cry. He looked so heart broken that he couldn't come see you anymore. "You two can use the spare room upstairs if you need a private place to talk." The bartender said. You looked over to them and nodded. "Thank you," You looked back to Lynn. "Would you like to?" You asked him. He nodded and both of you slipped off the chairs and you lead him to the room.

You flicked on the light and let him step into the room before closing the door behind him. Right as you turned back to him, he connected his lips to yours to which you instantly responded. You gently pressed yourself against him and held onto his hips as his slim fingers caressed your face and hair as if he would never be able to feel them again.

"Lynn," You spoke his name the second the both of you pulled away, both of you panting softly. His bright blue eyes gazed deeply into yours. "I want you to keep coming here, even if I'm not. I'll do what I can to come as often as possible. I wish we could meet at other places but..." Lynn looks away and hesitates heavily on what he was about to say. "It's ok..." You said with a small smile as he looks back to you.

"I'll keep coming. Just don't forget about me."

Lynn smiles as tears well up in his eyes before he collapses into you, hugging you tightly. You hugged him back just as tight. "You're very emotional all of a sudden. Did you have too much to drink?" You joked making him give a few small giggles. He pulled away and wiped his face before looking up to you, smiling. "It's been a very, very long time since I've felt this way and since I've had someone like you in my life." Lynn spoke softly as you navigated both of you over to the bed.

You sat Lynn down first before joining him and wrapping an arm around his waist. "(Y/n)?" You hummed and looked at the reflection of the two of you in the full-body mirror mounted on the wall. Your eyes seemed to have meet and you smiled, making Lynn blush and glance away. "I think we look really good together. Maybe one day we should make it official." Lynn looks up to you with a surprised yet slightly sad and scared look.

"That's up to you though." You said looking down to him with a smile. He didn't say anything but kissed you again, pushing you down on the bed and hovering over top of you. He rested his head on your shoulder and you gently kissed his pointed ears, making him shiver.

That eventually turned into a small makeout session but Lynn pulled away first, having you trail behind slightly not wanting to stop. You glanced at the clock above the door and sighed heavily.

"It seems it's our time to part huh?" You said looking to him as he got off of you. He nodded, which lead you to gently neaten his hair. Lynn leaned into your touch for a moment before taking you hand and kissing it gently, much like you did him when you first met. You smiled and held his hand as you lead him from the room, turning off the light before walking him out to the front doors of the tavern.

Both of you walked down the stone path out to the stables. Lynn always rode a horse to the tavern, which you have also become close with. You leaned in and kissed his lips softly. When both of you pulled away he waved you off and watched as you walked away.

'Til we meet again my dear.'

• --- •

You kept coming back to the tavern, keeping your nightly routine of checking Lynn's seat only to find it empty. You were only slightly disappointed, knowing that he would show up eventually. Your bartender friend smiled and placed a drink down in front of you. "I'm sure you two will meet again soon." He mumbled out before disappearing into the kitchen. You couldn't help but let your gaze linger a moment on the kitchen door, as if his words heald more meaning than you knew.

You spent most of the time thinking about an upcoming meeting you had with the King of the neighboring nation Elfendale. Your "job" is the second hand to the King of your own nation and he had tasked you with speaking to the other King in order to conduct an official alliance and go over some trade stuff. This tavern was on the border to both nations. Half of it was in yours and half was in the other.

The original arrangements were made by you and your neighboring counterpart on how the place would pay taxes and all those fun business things. Before you knew it, your time to leave had come.

'I sure hope this all goes well...'

---

The day finally arrived that you were to go to meet the King of Elfendale. You rode your horse into the town, catching the gazes of many. You had only two guards with you as the three of you rode up to the castle gates. The guards stopped you and asked to state your business. "(Y/n) (L/n), second hand to King Hervé. I'm here on official business." One guard looked to a list before nodding to the other to let the three of you in. Two other guards came and escorted you to put your horse in the royal stables while the other guided your guards to rest while you went in by yourself.

A certain horse in the stables seemed awfully excited to see you, this also caught the guards attention. "Have you met Whinefred before?" You were confused before shaking your head, playing it off. He nodded and put your horse into a stable before leading you up to the large front doors of the castle.

A man in a robe holding a scroll welcomed you in and walked you to the throne room.

"Attention please!" His voice called out to the room. You hadn't looked up from your satchel as you were looking to make sure if all the documents were there. "We welcome (Y/n) (L/n) to our humble castle. He is here for King Hervé since he was unavailable." You smiled and looked up with your eyes closed. 'He's not unavailable, just lazy.' You thought to yourself.

You finally opened your eyes to see an extraordinary familiar face. You contained the shocked expression on your face as the robed man kept talking and leading you towards the other. "-meet, King Faelynn." You looked over to the robed man and asked him with a hushed tone. "Does he have a twin?" The man shook his head. You looked up to Faelynn, shocked. Faelynn seemed quite content in this moment, happy even.

Faelynn stepped down from his throne and walked over to you. "Let's go discuss these in private." He said, motioning to the satchel who's strap you were clutching onto for dear life. You couldn't say anything but simply nodded.

Faelynn lead you to another large door and the guard who stood next to it, opened it for the both of you. Once the two of you were inside and the doors had closed, Faelynn crashed his lips against yours to which you instantly responded. Your hands found their way to his hips, pulling him closer to you.

"I think I've got some explaining to do." Faelynn said right as you pulled away. You nodded, still shocked. You moved yourself away from him and set the satchel down on the grand table behind both of you. He lead you over to a pair of chairs and had you sit before sitting next to you.

"To start, I'm sorry I didn't say anything. That's been one of the few places I can go and just be myself. I've never liked getting treated like a King but I inherited the throne from my father when I was pretty young so that may have been a reason why."

Faelynn held onto your hand and traced his thumb over your knuckles. "I never thought I would fall in love with someone, let alone someone I had just met in a tavern." He said with a soft chuckle, making you smile. You watched his eyes as he continued to speak. "I had seen you few times prior to that and I guess just listening to you I became, infatuated, and as we had started to chat I realized that I had fallen for you."

You smiled and pulled his hand closer to you, carefully removing the glove that framed his slim fingers nicely. You set the glove on the table and you gently kissed his hand, making him blush. "Faelynn." You spoke his full name out loud, making him get goosebumps. "Its odd saying your full name after calling you Lynn for so long." You said with a small chuckle. Faelynn intertwined his fingers with yours.

"Do you remember how you said we should make it official one day?" Faelynn asked, looking up to your eyes. You watched as he smiled more and kept your eyes looking to his. You felt something rather warm slip onto one of your fingers. "As an official alliance between Elfendale and Chroles. Soon to be King, (Y/n) (L/n), would you be mine?" You stared at the silver band that had been placed onto your finger.

Neither spoke for a moment but you looked up to him and pulled him into a kiss. Faelynn kissed back and interlocked your fingers again. Tears welled in your eyes as the two of you pulled away. "As both a personal benefit and an official alliance, I will be yours." Faelynn giggled and pecked your lips again.

"Let's get these papers figured out so we can start planning our wedding."

---- 2433 Not very proof read, may re-write and separate into parts

[t0shii]

scary video games with hq boys

suna rintaro, kenma kozume, matsukawa issei, hanamaki takahiro, nishinoya yuu, tanaka ryunosuke x gn!r

!warnings! mentions of death, gore, etc. some slight game spoilers but tbh it's nothing major so dw! rlly just fluff! light swearing, nothing major.

pt. 2 here

SUNA RINTARO.

plays scary video games very often & is lq a scaredy cat but never lets it show. he especially likes when u sit in his lap & either watch him play or where ur hugging him w ur cheek smushed against his shoulder. holds u super tight during the scariest scenes

currently you were sitting on your boyfriend rintaro's lap, chin resting on his shoulder while he played the latest resident evil game. at first you were watching him play while sitting beside him but after a while it became too much to watch so you took to moving to his lap for comfort.

you could feel sleep creeping up to you, eyelids droopy, cheek smushed on your boyfriends shoulder, that was until rin's character died and screamed so loud you jolted awake, which seemed to startle the boy.

"sorry baby" he says with a sigh, rubbing your back soothingly, "just a few more minutes and i'll be done." to which you nod in response, then lay your head back unto his shoulder, trying your very best not to fall asleep before he was finished.

KENMA KOZUME.

u sitting in his lap while he gamed is nothing but routine at this point. he loves when u hold him while he plays so either sitting in his lap OR sitting behind him is a must must must!! he plays any and all type of games as we know but he seems to gravitate towards scary ones sometimes just so youll hold him a little tighter wont admit it tho

currently you sat behind your boyfriend kenma, both legs beside his. you had originally been playing a game of your own until you got bored of it and opted to playing with kenma's hair instead, putting little braids in it, taking them out and repeating. he never once broke distraction from the game but honestly the game he was playing, outlast, was getting a little too gorey even for you. you wrapped your arms around his waist and rested your face atop his shoulder, "ken," you mumbled, a little muffled from your mouth being pressed against his shoulder but you weren't sure he heard you as there was no reply. "hey ken," you said a little louder than the last, "hm?" you heard him repsond. "can you.. uhm play a different game now?" you mumbled shyly. "is this one boring?" he pause the game and turned his head slightly to look at you . "oh no! it's just that... it's a little scary." he looked at you for a second and blinked once before responding, "let me save real quick, yeah?" to which you nodded in response.

"what d'ya want me to play?" he asked looking back at you again, "anything is fine, ken." he nodded at that and opened a different game. "babe, i thought you liked horror games?" kenma questioned. "yeah i do! that one was just a little too much i think." you explained you got a hum in response while he continued the new game.

MATSUKAWA ISSEI.

he and makki, always playing games together. hes not the biggest gamer & rlly only plays mainstream games

currently, issei was in his gaming chair playing the last of us 2 ,whilst you layed in bed and watched. you had watched him play through the first game so of course you wanted to watch this time too! what you werent ready for was the major character death in the beginning of the game!

issei swore he was hearing something your muffled tears odd but he couldn't tell what it was, that was until he paused his game and heard you cried on your shared bed. "baby?" he called out before walking over to you, "are you crying?" "yes," you said softly under the comforter through little hiccups. "oh baby." he said with a slight chuckle, sitting next to you on the edge of the bed, "c'mere." and when you did you were met with strong arms engulfing you in a hug. "i know it's sad but it's only a game, angel." he explains before kissing the crown of your head

HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO.

again he and mattsun play games all the time with eachother! honestly only plays horror games occasionally and their usually only mainstream tbh.

you and your boyfriend makki were sitting on your shared bed, you in between his legs watching him playing little nightmares. to be honest you were trying your best to pay attention but the chase sequences were starting to get to you, especially as the antagonists all piled up to eat his character.

"makki... i don't think i like this game." you admitted shyly. "oh, why?" he asked raising a brow you couldn't even see, "it's pretty popular though.", "yeah but the chase sequences are really scary makki." you whined leaning your head back on his shoulder. "it's almost over, dont worry." he said with a smile while looking down at you and pampering your cheek with a million little kisses to make you feel better.

NISHINOYA YUU.

i swear he stays up so goddamn late playing games with his bestie tanaka it's almost annoying but his hushed giggles when tanaka makes a joke that only the two of you would actually find funny makes it worth it! don't let him near horror games omg.

you have no idea why you let yuu choose a horror game, he was shrieking every 5 minutes even when nothing was happening on the screen. currently, he was playing PT and you sat beside him, laughing at his exaggerated reactions all the while getting scared at the jumpscares just as bad as he was.

"babe i'm not answering that phone, nuh uh,no way" he said pausing the game and looking at you. "yuu the guide says you have to in order to progress!" you giggle at him. "well i guess i'm just not gonna progress!" he exclaims dramatically, tossing the controller somewhere in the room. "besides, i'd rather cuddle with you instead." he grins throwing himself onto you, causing you to fall. "you're such a scaredy-cat." you laugh rolling your eyes, while combing your hands through his spikey hair.

TANAKA RYUNOSUKE.

actually is super passionate abt his horror games 😤 hes a pussy but pushes through every time.

you liked watching your boyfriend ryu play games, but this game just wasn't doing it for you. currently he was playing outlast 2, and the atmosphere was creeping you out so bad you had to look away, not only that but the chase sequences were making you feel anxious.

"holy fuck stop chasing me damnit." ryu mumbled under his breath as the veiled antagonist chased him for what seemed like the 10th time. and honestly you couldn't take it anymore. you snaked your arms around his waist from behind and rested your eyes over his shoulder. "you doing okay?" he asked, a little concerned. "can you take a break from this one ryu?" you mumbled. he thought for a minute before pausing his game and turning to look at you, "is my baby scared?" hey cooed at you, which you nod a yes in response. hugging you real tight he says, "of course we can take a break but only if i get cuddles in return." it was a deal you simply could not refuse.

a/n love horror games so ofc i wanted to write abt it lmfao. i rlly wanna play the new little nightmares game SO BAD ughhh. any who i tried to add some variety in here so pls enjoy lmfao. sorry for any mistakes i def didnt proofread 😩

[possiamo-andare]

No More Divisions - Chapter Seven: Goodbye

JJ x Original Character

hey everyone, the feedback I've been getting is amazing, thanks so much!! I know my writing isn't perfect but to know someone somewhere is reading and enjoying it makes me so happy! <3

MASTERLIST

~

It was 3:10 pm. John B. and Sarah were late. Under different circumstances I probably wouldn't have cared but knowing the situation we were in, every second counted.

Although we were all very nervous, Pope was the worst of all. He was pacing the dock, talking to himself in hushed tones. He was scaring me a little.

"Pope," Kiara spoke up, cautiously walking towards him.

He stopped and looked to her. "What if they got caught?"

Kiara cupped her hands and brought them to Pope's face. "No. They're fine, just late."

I stood beside Kiara. "She's right Pope, he'll be here any second."

"C'mon dude," JJ smirked, patting his friend on the back. "You know JB, he's always late."

Pope nodded, smiling at all of us. "You're right, he'll be here."

We all hugged Pope, hoping that our reassuring words helped him. To be honest, I didn't even know if I was correct. He could be caught or even worse, dead. The police around here had tunnel vision, like JJ said, and I was scared for John B. and Sarah. The reward mixed in with how determined the police were made a scary pair of odds for John B. and Sarah.

We all separate after a minute of hugging Pope, except for Kiara. She continues to hug Pope and reassure him, even after JJ and I have backed away. I don't say anything even though I know what's going on. I look to JJ to see if he senses the same thing, but I realized he's not looking at Kiara and Pope, he's looking at me. Inch by inch, he's shifted towards my side and now he's so close that his hand touches mine.

Once our fingers graze, my eyes widen and I pull away. He's making me so nervous. To avoid his fingers again, I cross my arms over my chest.

JJ looks away and towards Kiara and Pope, who are still talking. "So, are we gonna talk about it, or are you just gonna ignore me?"

I glance at him, scoffing quietly. "I'm not ignoring you. I'm trying to focus on the task at hand. I have to be responsible."

JJ groans. "How am I even attracted to you? Doesn't matter, I am."

Now I'm suppressing laughter. I turn towards him. His body is not facing me yet and he hasn't looked back at me. "You're attracted to me?"

JJ's eyes widen as I speak, turning towards me quickly. He's looking directly at me. "I'm -"

"Cops!" Pope yells, pointing to something behind us.

JJ and I both jump in surprise and turn around. Every hair on my body is up. I'm on high alert. These cops are probably here because they know we have something to do with John B. and they want to see who is gonna break. It's not gonna be me.

I see the police car park on the grass and turn off the ignition, the car's lights turning off. JJ stands in front of me as Kiara and Pope run closer to us. We're all trying to protect eachother just in case.

Yet, we don't have to protect eachother. Instead of a cop poking his head out of the car, it turns out to be John B. I laugh, surprised. He was definitely the last person I though I'd see driving a cop car.

"JB!" JJ yells, running to his friend as John B. makes his way to us.

"Hey." John B. smiles at us and hugs JJ. He looks completely exhausted. There's deep bags under his eyes I can see from where I'm standing. His clothes are very dirty too; sweat and dirt coating his body. I'm sure he'll be glad to be near the water.

Pope is not far behind and hugs him soon after. Kiara and I wait until he comes to us.

As he's hugging Kiara, JJ speaks up. "Where the hell did you get a cop car?"

John B. turned to JJ and shrugged. "Kinda stole it."

JJ howls, acting so juvenile. "That's so cool."

John B. turns to me and smiles. "Callie..."

I give him a shy smile. He doesn't need to say anything, I already know. I open my arms wide and hug him. This is the first time I'm actually talking to John B., let alone hugging him but it feels so natural. I know it's because we already feel so close to each other.

As we hug, John B. speaks. "I can't thank you enough. Sarah is so lucky to have you."

We let go of eachother and I look at John B. again. "You have me too now." Then, my brain reminds me of something and I feel like I got punched in the gut. "Where's Sarah?"

John B. frowns. "She said she'd meet me here. She's not here?"

I shake my head, starting to panic. If she's not with John B., then where the hell is she? Is she with the police? My mind is operating on minimal sleep and my brain is thinking of the worst possible situations.

"She's not." I'm full on panicking. The girl that's basically my sister is gone.

"I can't leave without her." John B. said, looking at all of us.

"No," Kiara frowns, grabbing onto John B.'s elbow. "You have to. Sarah's gonna get here eventually."

Kiara was right. Sarah was gonna show up eventually. We'll see John B. hopefully soon so Sarah will see him again.

Kiara is trying to push John B. to the boat but she's having difficulty.

Pope stops them and looks to John B., brows furrowed. "You're gonna get caught if you stay here any longer. How will that help Sarah?"

We have all surrounded John B. now. He nods, realizing Pope and Kiara are right. Even though it's hard for me because I know Sarah wants to say goodbye, we have to make sure John B. is away from OBX. That is our first priority.

John B. closes his eyes, takes a deep breath, and then opens them again. He's looking at all of us, almost as if he's trying to remember what we look like. I have to keep reminding myself that this is not the last time I'm gonna see John B. Once we find out a way to clear his name, he'll be back.

He nods at me. "Tell Sarah I love her."

I nod, trying not to react to what he's said. I don't think they've said that to eachother yet and I'm sad they can't say it to eachother now.

John B. says goodbye one more time before walking past us and onto the dock. Kiara gives him the key and he waves at her first, then all of us. We wave back and we don't stop waving until he's on the boat and gone, his boat only a small dot on the water.

I can't believe we did it.

I turn to JJ, exhausted. "I can't believe Sarah didn't get to say goodbye."

JJ smirks. "Don't get all sappy on me. We're gonna see him again."

I nod, holding back tears. I'm holding back tears because of Sarah and John B. and how they didn't get to say bye, but mostly because I'm so exhausted. It's been a rough 24 hours and I know it's not gonna get any easier.

JJ reaches for my hand. "Are we gonna talk about my rad macking skills?"

I looked up at him, making a fake gagging sound. "If you ever say that word again, I'll kill you."

I don't know if the murder jokes were appropriate but JJ didn't mind.

"Which word? Rad? Or macking?" JJ sarcastically asks, stepping closer to me. I already know he wants to kiss me again and I'm ready for him to make the first move.

I scrunch my nose up. "Ew. Macking? Just say kissing."

"What a Kook." JJ rolled his eyes, glancing at my lips.

I wanna make fun of him but I can't because something else has caught his attention. He's looking at something behind me. I turn around and almost gasp. Behind us, on the dock, stood Kiara and Pope and they were kissing. Finally.

I scoffed, watching them for a second longer and then turning my head back around. "Wow -"

I can't get a word in because as soon as my head is facing JJ again, his lips are on mine. I kiss him back instantly, my hands reaching up to wrap around his neck.

I want to kiss him deeply but I never get the chance to because we're pulled apart by the sirens.

We look to the grass of JJ's house and we see like two or three black SUV's parking.

"Kiara! Pope!" I yell to them. They pull apart and follow my finger.

Once they see the police, they run to us. They're off the dock in seconds and we're trying to run but it's too late. The police, who I realize now are not police but the feds, have surrounded us. JJ grabs my hand and I hold onto his. No matter what, I'm not leaving these guys. They're my friends now. They're more than that. They're like family.

One of the feds steps forward. He stands right in front of me but he looks at all of us. Deputy Shoupe walks right past us and onto the dock, gun in hand. Once he sees that John B. is gone, he curses for a moment then holsters his weapon. He turns around and storms back to us.

"Where is he?" He glares at all of us. First he looks at Kiara. "Kiara, what would your father say?"

Kiara says nothing, she just holds onto Pope tighter.

Deputy Shoupe looks at Pope. "You're gonna loose your scholarship for your friends?"

Pope says nothing.

Deputy Shoupe then looks to JJ. "Not surprised. You really wanna go down like your old man?"

JJ says nothing. He only reacts to Shoupe's mean comments by squeezing my hand for a moment. I squeeze back.

The Deputy Shoupe looks to me. He looks beyond surprised. "Callie Miller? What are you doing hanging around with people like them."

I glare at Deputy Shoupe. I say nothing, only stare at a man that once use to coach my soccer team when I was younger. Now, this man meant nothing to me.

"Your parents are looking for you. Worried sick. Ward told us you ran off to help Sarah. She's manipulated you into thinking that John B. is innocent." Deputy Shoupe speaks to me but I stay silent. That is, until he brings up John B.'s innocence.

I take a deep breath and then speak. "John B. is innocent." My voice is even and smooth.

Shoupe has an amused look on his face. "I'm sure he is."

"It wasn't John B. who killed Peterkin. I was there. I saw it." I continued to stay cool.

The fed standing in front of me shifted on his feet when I said this. I look to him. His brows are furrowed but he speaks clearly, "Who did it then?"

I gulp. God, these four words were going to be so hard to say. But they must be said. For John B. "It was Rafe Cameron."

The fed raised his eyebrows but other than that, didn't look that surprised. I figured he didn't believe me either. Deputy Shoupe sure didn't.

"Rafe Cameron?" Shoupe laughed. "Why would Rafe want to kill Peterkin?"

My eyes narrowed. "Why would John B. kill Peterkin. She was the only cop that thought he was a good kid."

The fed in front of me sighed. "I've been told the same thing you're telling me now by another girl. That girl's name was Sarah Cameron."

My head instantly turned to the fed. "You know where Sarah is?"

He shook his head. "She left before I could properly talk to her."

I frowned. Where the hell was Sarah then? "Her and I are telling the truth. Why would we purposely rat out her brother?"

The fed is about to speak again but he doesn't get a chance to. Shoupe cuts him off. He's clearly annoyed about the whole escape John B. made and since he knows we won't talk, he is ready to get rid of us and look for John B.

"They're no use to us now." Shoupe says to the fed.

The fed shrugs. "Bring them along anyways. Their parents will pick them up there."

Shoupe looks at me. "Your parents are waiting for you Callie. You're riding in a different car."

My eyes widen. I look to JJ. He's in just as much shock as I am in. Shoupe grabs onto my arm and tips me from JJ's grasp.

I plant my feet to the floor. "No, let me stay with them."

Shoupe rolls his eyes. "C'mon Miller."

"Callie!" JJ yells, trying to push his way through the bodies of cops to get to me.

I look to him. "It's ok." I don't want to cry in front of him.

I see Kiara and Pope fighting the cops as well and I can't help but smile. They think I'm worth fighting for.

Before I can even wave goodbye, I'm thrown into the backseat of Shoupe's car and the doors are locked. The hardest part is watching all of my friends getting put into different cars. Although they're not beside me, I still feel their presence.

I close my eyes. I take a breath. I open my eyes. I'm gonna get through this and find Sarah. I'm gonna get back to my friends. That's not gonna be the last time I'm ever gonna see them.

I keep telling this to myself over and over again as Shoupe drives me to the headquarters.

[mankaisimp]

Accidentally kissing them

A/N: I couldn't fit all of this onto the last post cuz of the character limit, so this is for today!

Banri

You walked towards your classroom, hands in your front pockets, walking slow as you whistled a random tune.

As you were approaching your classroom, the door in front of you bursts opened.

"Banri! Hey! Don't you dare leave my classroom!"

"Yeah,yeah,yeah,shut up I'm leaving."

The upperclassman slammed shut the door as he bumped into your shoulder.

"Outta my way,short-ass"

You stopped dead in your trail, clenching your fists. You began to debate rather to go after that asshole or just move on.

"Where did that little punk go?" Your train of thought stopped as the classroom door opened, revealing an older man.

"Hey,you,kid. How long have you been standing there?"

"Long enough for that jackass to almost hit me in the face with the door."

"Good. Do me a favor and go after him,I'll tell your teacher that you're in trouble and have to talk to me."

"What do I get in return?"

"Holy hell."the Teacher pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I'll give you those free lunch passes. Just tell me who's your teacher so I can tell them and go after that boy."

"Deal."

You walked away as you've now been given a challenge.

You searched and searched,but to your luck, you couldn't find the boy.

"Fucking asshole" you gritted your teeth, as you went to the bike rack hoping that the boy will be there.

As you finally made it, you saw a familiar face.

"Hey asshat!" You yelled

"For fuck's sake what do you want?" The boy turned around.

"Who the fuck are you? I was expecting the old bastard to send the hall monitor after me." The boy smirked.

"I'd have never expect the old bastard to send some hot stuff after me." The boy went on,amused.

"Shut the fuck up. Go back to your classroom, you greasy motherfucker."

"Hey! You can call me whatever you want, but don't diss the damn hair,ok?!"

"Yeah,yeah, just shut up and go back to class."

As you were about to storm off, the boy pinned you against the wall,hovering over you.

"Hm? Do you have a bone to pick with me, darling?" The boy tilted his head a little,raising an eyebrow.

"Well I mean, your bitch-ass did bumped into me and almost hit me with the door, so yeah. I do have a bone to pick with you,greaser." You spit back.

"Tch. Do you even know who you're talking too, tough guy?

"Yeah, I do." You paused for dramatic effect.

"You're just a damn wannabe gangster who thinks they're the shit. But guess what greaser, you really ain't shit."

The boy grips your already pinned wrists tighter as he lowers his head down towards your ear.

"Are you really sure you want to say that? After all, I'm Banri Settsu."

Your eyes widened as you realized how much of a big deal the douche is.

"I-"

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" Another voice yelled.

Both you and banri jumped.

"Ah shit, we gotta go!" Banri gritted his teeth.

Banri grabbed you by your wrist and dragged you around the entire school, only looking back to sure you guys lost the person who yelled.

After a few minutes, banri stopped moving.

"We lost them." He said, as he sat down on the football field's grass

"Huh? You fucking asshole! Now you're gonna get us more in troubl-"

Your sentence was cut short by the fact that Banri put his lips on yours.

"God, you won't stop talking my ear off."

"Hey asshole, you're supposed to ask for consent!"

"Well, it was an accident."

"How the fuck was it an accident?"

"You were talking so damn much that I couldn't think." Banri grinned.

"Oh, you sly motherfucker! Just so you know-"

"Ah ah ah, before you start ranting, I want to ask you a question."

"What now?" You said, agitated.

"Can you give me your number?"

"And why would I do that?"

"Cuz, You and I both know that the school will be looking for us for a few weeks."

" I mean, skipping class is as bad as kicking a puppy to them."

"Plus, if you're ever in trouble, you can call me and I'll show up."

"Fine, but only cuz I don't want to get in trouble!"

You grabbed banri's phone, hastily punching in numbers.

"There! I gave you my phone number! Now go back to class!" You yelled as you ran back towards the school.

"Well do." Banri said to himself, smirking.

Tsumugi

You sat down at an empty booth, looking out of the window while waiting for your tutor to show up. After a few minutes of staring outise,you sighed as you whipped out your phone to text your tutor.

"Hey,are you almost here yet?"

"Yep! I'm two stores away."

As you read your tutor's text, the shop's door opened.

"Hey,sorry for being late." Your tutor,Tsumugi sat beside you.

"It's all good."

You opened your laptop and logged into your account.

"So, how's acting treating you?" You asked

"Pretty good. The members fight from time to time, but they make up pretty quickly."

"Oh, here's a question that really stomps me." You moved the laptop towards tsumugi so he can see the question.

"I don't blame you, as a college student,I always had a problem with solving these equations too."

"Ok, thanks again for meeting up with me on short notice,Tsumugi!" You waved back at your tutor,as you headed out the door, finished with your study session.

As you exited the shop, you felt a drop of water hit your head... then two... and then a lot.

"Oh shoot!" You whispered to yourself, as you bolted down the street.

As you ran down the streets, you heard thunder.

"I should try to find shelter until the thunder stops" you told yourself, as you entered a random flower shop.

"Hello, can I please stay in here until the thunder stop?" You asked the teenager cashier.

"Eh,whatever,sure."

You thanked the cashier as you wonder around the shop.

"Maybe I should buy Tsumugi flowers as a way to thank him?"

Your mind stopped wondering once you heard the door's bell ringing, signaling that someone has entered the store.

You paid no attention as you went back to searching through the racks of flowers.

"Huh, I've never seen this before" you thought as you picked up a small tree.

"Ma'am,If you're going to touch that bonsai tree,then you better pay for it." The teenage cashier said unenthusiastically.

"Wait, Bonsai?" You questioned.

"I'm pretty sure Tsumugi had said that he likes anything Bonsai." You thought to yourself.

"Hey,How much is this?"

"Thank you, come again." The cashier gave you the Bonsai tree.

As you walked out, you were greeted by the sight of Tsumugi.

"Oh Y/N, It started raining real hard and I notice you ran in here for shelter."

"Yeah, I was planning on staying here until the thunder stops."

"Well, I can drive you back home if you'd like."

"Are you sure? I don't want you to waste gas, especially not in this weather."

"Oh no, it's perfectly fine!" Tsumugi said with his usual warm smile.

"Well if you say so."

Tsumugi turned on the car and started to drive out of the parking spot.

"Huh, I didn't realize you bought a bonsai tree,Y/N."

"H-huh? Oh yeah! I bought this for a friend of m-mine." You said as your cheeks turn pink.

You're pretty sure Tsumugi saw you become fluster in a matter of seconds, but he never brought it up.

"Thanks for the ride Tsumugi!" You said, as you closed the car door.

"No problem! If you ever need any planting tips, just send me a message!"

"Plant..?" You thought to yourself.

You looked down to realize you've forgotten you were carrying the bonsai tree.

"Oh wait! This is for you!" You sputtered as you ran to the driver's side and gave tsumugi the tree.

"Huh?Are you sure Y/N? After all, you said you bought this for a friend."

"Well... that was a lie. I actually bought this for you as a thank you gift for tutoring me."

"Oh! Thank you Y/N. I really appreciate your generosity." Tsumugi got out of his car.

"Is it ok if I hug you?"

"Yeah!"

Tsumugi hugged you, putting his chin on top of your head.

"You're really such a kind person Y/N..." Tsumugi mumbled.

"Thank you for saying that..."

You found yourself unexpectedly moving your lips towards Tsumigi's lips. You know you shouldn't be doing this, but it feels so right.

You squeak as your lips and his lips found eachother.

After what feels like an eternity, you pulled back.

"Haha, that was unexpected." Tsumugi said, flustered.

"Y-yeah!" You sputtered as you shove the bonsai tree towards Tsumigi.

"Well, I'll be going." Tsumugi said as he awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck.

"Y-yeah... see you!"

Both you and Tsumugi turned the opposite way.

"Oh and Tsumugi.."

"Yes,Y/N?"

"Please stay safe."

"I will." Tsumugi nodded as he entered his car and drives away.

[spitefulinamillionways]

one shot idea: maybe how the family would react to beej having something like a panic attack or a nightmare? honestly i just love fics where they help him when he’s vulnerable (also if you ever want to post some art i would love to see it!)

awh, now i’m thinking about how juno would react to beej’s panic attacks..

•

Betelgeuse woke up in a cold sweat. He frantically looked around his small room, the old storage closet, before taking a deep breath and getting out of bed, throwing the blanket on the ground. He rushed into the kitchen and snatched a cup out of the cupboard, though many followed and landed on the floor, smashing everywhere.

“Shit!” He hissed, quickly trying to pick up all the shards of glass, cutting himself accidentally in the process. He wiped his hand on his shirt before being stopped by the light being turned on and a quiet, tired voice speaking up from the other side of the kitchen.

“Beej? What are you doing so late at night?” Lydia mumbled, rubbing her eyes.

“Oh, uh, I-” He was interrupted by Lydia shushing him, “I just..wanted to get a drink of water.” He whispered, looking back down at the glass, picking up the last few shards and throwing them away.

“Ghosts don’t need to drink water though...” She leaned against the door, half asleep. The door to the kitchen was opened again, causing Lydia to fall over and catch herself.

“What’s going on in here?” Barbara and Adam rushed through the door, both looking equally as concerned as the other.

“I just..wanted a drink..” Betelgeuse sat on the counter and filled a half-smashed cup with water, then drank it slowly. He was about to throw it into the sink, but even he realised how dumb of an idea that was. He put the cup down next to him and looked back up at the three, getting a proper look at them and sighed in relief. Thank god they were actually okay..

“Okay, but why did you smash so many cups?” Barbara asked, crossing her arms.

“I was in a hurry.” He mumbled, dangling his feet at the end of the counter and picking his fingernails.

Lydia sat next to him on the counter, looking at the cup. How the hell did he drink out of this?

“What hurry? It’s not like anybody was stopping you.” Lydia put the cup down and looked straight at Betelgeuse.

Betelgeuse stared right back at Lydia, which made her roll her eyes and turn to the Maitlands, shrugging. The two sighed and walked over to him.

“You can tell us if anything happened.” Adam reassured, holding Betelgeuse’s arm. After a couple moments of silence, he finally said something.

“Well, I- Okay..so, you all would never leave me, would you?” Betelgeuse began, “Like..you know what I mean. Abandon me or just..I don’t fucking know..” He seemed a lot quieter than usual and couldn’t even keep eye contact with any of them. Another silence fell upon the room.

“Beej..why would we ever do that? At this point, it’s like a kid asking their parents if they’d ever put them up for adoption or...I don’t know, a person asking the person they’re dating if they’d ever just break up with them for no reason!” Lydia explained, putting her hand on the demon’s back, who’s hair was now a deep purple. The Maitlands nodded and looked at eachother, feeling almost pity for the poor thing.

“Uh, yeah, you’re right, I’ll go back to bed now.” Betelgeuse quickly got up and began speed-walking out the door, before being grabbed by his shirt and pulled back.

“We aren’t done yet. We still don’t know what happened.” Barbara sat him down on the chair, to which he promptly stood back up. Barbara pushed him back down on the chair, with more force this time. Betelgeuse sat there fairly awkwardly, resting his head on his hand.

“What is this, a police interrogation?” He asked with a gruff and mumbly tone. Lydia stood up, took a flashlight and shone it in his face.

“No. It’s actually a kidnapping. Tell us all you know about what happened.” She shone the flashlight straight in his eyes, Betelgeuse not even flinching a bit.

“Yeah. We’re not letting you go!” Adam laughed and took another chair for himself.

“Ooh, kinky.” Betelgeuse looked at Adam, who just rolled his eyes, still smiling.

“Whatever you say, bucko.” Adam replied, to Betelgeuse’s surprise.

Barbara raised her eyebrows at Betelgeuse before taking the flashlight and shone it straight in his eyes. She noticed he didn’t seem to care so she gave up and gave it back to Lydia. She tried to think of reasons why Betelgeuse would be acting out all of a sudden. I mean, now he seemed like his usual self but before that. His ‘quiet and nervous-ish’ side, which he apparently had.

“Seriously, though, what happened?” She asked, leaning on the chair Adam was sitting on, “Why did you ask that?”

“It doesn’t matter. You guys should go back to bed.” Betelgeuse looked away again, raising his shoulders slightly, “I’ll go too...”

Why did this demon have to be so stubborn? Was he that protective of his pride that he couldn’t even talk about his feelings? Well, getting into the specifics, that is.

“Did you have a nightmare?” Adam finally asked, raising an eyebrow.

“I- Adam, I’m not scared of anything. Why would I have nightmares?” Betelgeuse looked disappointed, like how a mother would look at a child when their report card turns out to be shit. The ‘I-thought-you-were-better-than-this’ look.

“You sure do seem to be terrified of being abandoned.” Lydia muttered, playing with the flashlight.

“Well, maybe I am, maybe I’m not.” He shrugged, smirking. The smirk slowly went down once he realised how obvious it was that, yes, he was terrified of being abandoned, “Maybe I am..”

“Well, what was your nightmare about? Did we abandon you or something?” Barbara asked, standing closer to Betelgeuse now.

“Look, I- Do we have to talk about this now?!” He raised his voice slightly, thank god/satan Charles was a heavy sleeper. He sat in silence for a little bit, everyone else around him talking, or at least trying to. The longer he thought about what had happened, the worse it got. He went from lightly picking at his nails to fully biting them and from feeling fairly uncomfortable to tears welling up in his eyes.

“It’s just that I-” He mumbled, his voice breaking, which only pissed him off more. He usually only cried to other people when something big was happening. Not now. It was just a dream. It wasn’t real. Nothing like that would ever happen. Never.

“Beej?- Are you okay?” Lydia looked slightly concerned at the state of him. Betelgeuse looked up at her, his face red and hands shaking. He tried talking but nothing came out. The three quickly tried calming him as frantically as they could. But he couldn’t hear. He didn’t hear. All he heard was her. Her shouts and screams, hurting the people he loved and cared for all because of a dumb mistake he made. It was his fault. It was always his fault. Any fuckup she made or even anyone made, it was always him. He was always trailed back to it somehow, in some way. He was probably a fuckup in itself, it’s not like she ever cared of what he thought about or had to say. She deserved to die. She’s never coming back.

His thoughts were interrupted all of a sudden.

“Betelgeuse, we’d never leave you! None of us would, we promise. You’re part of the family now. We can’t just...leave you.” Lydia explained, tilting her head slightly.

Betelgeuse looked at her as if he didn’t believe a word she’d said, but accepted it anyway. It’s what he’d like to believe, too. He quickly stood up and hugged Lydia, something the two hadn’t done in a while. It lasted for over a minute, the Maitlands slowly joining in too.

“Thank you, guys...I just think-” Betelgeuse was interrupted, yet again, by Lydia.

“Nope! Don’t wanna hear it! Anything negative you have to say right now, just- No!” She held everyone tighter, smiling.

Betelgeuse laughed and let go of them, though slightly hesitating to do so. He sat back down and wiped his face, sighing shakily. The room was silent for a while, as if to process what had just went on.

“Really though. Thank you. It sounds cheesy because it is and I hate saying this kind of shit as you hate hearing it but I just..I don’t know. Forget it.” His talking slowly turned to mumbling and rambling. He wasn’t good at showing he cared for someone, “I..really don’t deserve you all.”

•

healdjksjf sorry if this isn’t good!! i’m writing this late at night because i completely forgot to check my inbox until now at like 2am like a dumbass,,,

if i made any grammar mistakes or the writing is just bad i’ll probably re read and rewrite some of it in the morning when i can, so if i did make any mistakes just wait a bit and they’ll be fixed soon!!!

i actually really had a lot of fun writing this! it was kinda difficult to keep beej in character throughout the whole thing, but in the end i think i did at least a little decently, right? i don’t know. you be the judge

thank you so much for always sending me asks when i make posts about it, i really appreciate it!

[5-falsehoods-phonated]

Sorry for bothering you, but I couldn't help but wonder, what do you think of Janus' playlist? After several days of analysing it, I'm so overwhelmed with all the emotions towards the snake boy! The character potential, possible development, ideas for fics are just bashing me on the head and heart! I would love to hear your thoughts on the matter. Lots of love and have a good day! P.S. Expect some requests for songfics for sure!

It's not a bother, thank you for asking! Oh I have many feelings, as I usually do for all the playlists but this one...man. Hope you like long answers XD

First just the overall impression is great. I love the sort of contradicting roaring 1920s nihilistic aesthetic. Makes me think of a tired anti-hero, their cape swirling behind them as they turn away from the chaos, knowing they'll have a mess to clean up later but for right now they would very much enjoy a glass of wine. Its smooth. Its jazzy. It's dark. Its nostalgic in a different way from Patton, where instead of tugging softly at your heartstrings it settles a weight on your shoulders. Not in a bad way, just like someone added an extra five pounds of awareness to what you were already carrying, if that makes sense?

He boils down to an emo with class for me and I love it.

I'm not gonna go song by song but heres a few thoughts.

I absolutely love Black Hole Sun being on it as a vintage cover. Soundgarden is such a good band and this song in particular is one of my favorites, right up there with Tighter and Tighter and Spoonman. It's a dark song that has contrasting themes and means different things to different people, which is perfect for Janus' outlook on life and Thomas. And of course the reference to the snake fits right in.

It Seemed The Better Way is one of my favorites on the list. The style of the song and Leonard Cohen's voice reminds of Mark Lanegan's style and is so soothing.

Talking at the same time just made me think of all the Sides talking through a dilemma but really just arguing and talking over one another, contradicting each other and themselves in the process. It makes me want to bang all their heads together and yell "COMMUNICATION BITCH" which I really hope season 3 addresses the important of good and healthy communication and it takes the last side to do it but I digress. It's a song that points out unfairness and frustrating contradictions and I love that the angsty snake likes this song.

Scarlett Johansens Trust On Me is one I'm posting a fanart of soon, it put such a clear image in my head of Janus smoothly talking to Thomas about listening to him and taking care of himself while below surface level hes desperately trying to hold this vision together of everything being fine while the world crumbles. It's just Tbomas walking along with his sides as they smile as the sunshine while Janus is stumbling behind with an old umbrella, batting away dead branches with his staff while everyone else is oblivious.

Mandy Goes To Med School. Janus canonically listens to the Dredston Dolls and no one else I've ever met listens to them or knows who they are and it fills me with unreasonable happiness that someone on the team got this song on the playlist. Many have interpreted this song as back alley abortions and illegal sex changes, both elective surgeries that have consequences if done improperly. I honestly think the bare bones of this song apply to Janus. Percieved "selfishness over selflessness" and the consequences being up in the air for both. A sort of damned if you do, damned if you dont situation, which definitely paints Janus, at least for me, as a world weary tired ex-optimist who's experiences have shaped his perception of the world in a way that can be hard for others to understand. I think this song fits him to a T.

Evil Night Together makes me think of him, Remus and Virgil just having a ball of a night causing chaos together and laughing all the way through. It fills me with a lot of happiness thinking of the idiocy those three got up to when they were on better terms with each other.

Dont Tell Mama...makes me way too excited fr the last dark side. I get this strong feeling from the song the Janus very much works in the shadows, to the point where hes even a bit secluded from the other 'dark sides' to an extent. Maybe the last one is someone who really tries to run the show and wouldnt be pleased with what Janus is trying to do. Not saying Mystery Orange is evil, none of them are.

I feel like You're A Cad is a comment on him and Virgils relationship. The way that they are now, secretive and closed off, a friendship cant really work between them but they keep coming back no matter how many times they broke eachothers trust. I don't think Janus and Virgil hate each other, I just think they need to communicate better like everyone else does but they kept trying without knowing how and hurting each other in the process.

As Far As I Can See feels like a self deprecating view point that all the "dark sides" have and it makes me want to hug not only him but Remus, Virgil and even Orange until they feel even a little bit better. In this house we love and appreciate our good bad boys.

Change. Okay first: the first line of this song is "theres something in the wind" and in Sally's Song on Virgils playlist the first line is "I sense theres something in the wind." Coincidence maybe and probably but I'm holding out for Remus' for the third. 'Lately, I've been thinkin' it's just someone else's job to care Who am I to sympathize when no one gave a damn?' is such an OOF I just cant. I strongly feel like this is Janus rethinking what his purpose could possibly be if no one is willing to listen. Could apply to Logan too but he has Erase Me already so.....

Come Little Children by Erutan. That's it, Janus also canonically also listens to the Willow Maid and cries the first time he heard no you cant change my mind. He also watches Hocus Pocus every year and loves it. Remus joins him. Virgil did when they were on better terms. You also cant change my mind on this. I think this song is just commenting on how Janus hides the truth for Thomas so he can see the world from a better perspective than what it actually is. Self preservation and lying to ourselves and all that.

Into The Unknown from Over the Garden Wall I think is telling us everything is changing and revealing itself the farther we go with Thomas' dilemmas. They're all stemming from somewhere so where will we end up? Who can say, but in the meantime aren't the lies we're telling ourselves pretty? Janus is observing everything falling apart and hoping he isn't lying when he tells himself everything will work itself out. Only time will tell. It's a sad, longing note to end the playlist on, but it's very fitting.

Overall this playlist cements the fact the the Angst Train really just said "Choo choo mothfucker" and steamrolled on regardless of the fact that were stuck on the tracks. And I love it.

Janus is a sad, angsty boy tired of everyone's bullshit and honestly just wants everyone to get along so he can finally sit back and play his game cube without his gloves on in the common room of the mindscape without being hissed or glared at, and is that really too much to ask? Also, he's crying in the art on spotify, with such a resigned look on his face and I just...my heart.

Sorry this is so long, like I said I have a lot of feelings. Add your own thoughts if you like, you and anyone else who wants to. This is my interpretation of only some of the songs so of course there are more and different things worth mentioning. This is a judgement free blog where all opinions are welcome.

[jcmorrigan]

A long time ago, my friends put my nickname (Jacey) into the “fanfic generator” with Papyrus as my ship, Sora as my best friend, and Eraqus as my rival

Context: I selfshipped with Papyrus, I love Sora like a little brother, and I want to bash Eraqus’ skull in

This is what happened

***

Jacey stopped and gazed into space. Oh no. It was happening; She couldn't help thinking about Papyrus again. She tried not too. Desperate to avoid the thoughts that could not be, no, - would not be- held back. But like dozens of unstoppable griffins they came creeping forward till they filled Her brain; Papyruss smile shined like water, as impressive as a venus, it filled the cave network and Jacey was helplessly but willingly absorbed into them. Papyruss eyes were like mercurys.If you rolled them they would go quite far. (Almost as lovely as mine. lol!/AN) Papyruss legs were like a tree. Straight and tight. Papyruss chest was like a Minotaurs. Powerful and impossible to ignore. How could Jacey not be helpless in the face of that?. Jacey snapped out of it. But the thoughts of Papyrus would be back. Would She be able to resist next time? --- Far far away, in a magical far away distant land.. --- Interlude: Jacey was finding it really hard to concentrate at this movement her thoughts kept trying to think of Papyrus. Despite what was happening, it was hard to focus! ---- I'm sooo sorry for not updating! I'm working really hard on some other cool stories As usually, the fandom characters aren't mine, but everything else is! Enjoy! Summary: I suck at writing summaries. Bsides the 'fic isn't that long! I am Jacey. I was sitting behind my desk. I felt the tears well up in my eyes . After Our last adventure, I found out just exactly how cruel people could be. How nasty and inconsiderate real humans actually were. I stared at a picture of a polar bear. A magnificent beast who would not hesitate to kill me but at least it would be quick. Not a overlong conspiracy of many years, just to be unleashed on me when I was at my weakest and darkest moment. When I needed my friends the most. But there had been one tiny ray of light in this whole . I remembered fondly the day I discovered it. It was a tuesday morning I rememberanced. The memories surfaced before my mind's eye and took the most wonderful shapes. Before I well knew it, a single tear welled up in my eyes and trickled down my cheek. Because even when all my 'friends' betrayed me there was one consistant factor in my life: Master Eraqus. And I knew that the rising aspirations between them could never become true, the feelings I had for Master Eraqus were the only thing in this world that still felt true to him. No lies, just that single, pure sense and feeling for Master Eraqus. Alas, I thought to meself hopelessly. Why must they battle? Why must I be destined to destroy Master Eraqus? Can I ever tell Master Eraqus how much Master Eraqus means to me? If only I could. Then all my pain would be over. No more betrayal. No more suffering under the laughter from Papyrus (who told me he loved me, only to stab me right inti the heart at valentines day!). No, only Master Eraqus and my true feelings for Him. A/N Lol this has all been so depressive lol! My next bit will be less dark! Fortunately Sora worked at a newspaper nowadays and he used the database of the newspaper to find out home turf of Master Eraqus's ruffians. Their search led to a night club in the darkiest and stormiest part of Twilight Town. I was a little hesitant to go. It was rather scary and it was dark and stomy in that secting of Twilight Town. But the courage in me was greater than my fear because with my customer service I should be able to accomplish anything, right, I thought to myself. And Sora would join me. So not to fall out of fashion we both donned their most gothyest clothing. I had to admit that Sora looked kind of sexy in that outfit of his. But I didn't dare to comment on that. I instead poored down my soul into my make-up. I bore gorgeous blood-rose coloured finger nails with black streaking zig-zags and gave Sora matching treatment. Sora lovely eyes met mine and for a moment we were both swimming in a pool made of a gorgeous combination of their eyes colours. It was romance we knew, but we didn't know whether it was a forbidden one or not! Then we went off and defeated Master Eraqus. --- And then, at the worst possible moment. It happened. Again. Jacey gazed at Papyrus. It was impossible to resist this time. Like a hangglider Jacey was pulled towards Papyrus. It was a like breakout in a war. It was a like a musket piercing through Her heart. It was a like magnets. There was No resisting. No mercy. No longer anything else mattered. Papyrus looked shocked and then...and then...not shocked. He had known all along. Of course. How could Jacey have been so stupid? Those long looks at eachother,the times they gazed at the stars together, the candle lit dinners. The tender hugs.. It wasn't just friendship. It never was. It was more and Papyrus had known all along. "I knew" Papyrus said. "oh" Jacey said, realizing all this for the first time. But there was more...Papyrus wasn't pulling away. He was pushing tighter. Holding Jacey like a wild ferret. At some point their clothes came off. They got ripped in the process of the pashioning She didn't care. This is what She had needed for so long. too long. Week. maybe more. But this was now now. Jacey and Papyrus together at last! They canoddled like lovers and just kissed.. They cuddled a lot and then held hands. Afterwards they looked at eachother as if for the first time and had a cigarette. But they knew they must leave. They didn't want anyone to see. Their forbidden love must remain hidden for now. Perhaps forever. Jacey took one last look at Papyrus. "Goodbye my snuggly one" "Love you too, my one and only Jacey" And then they departed.

[weirdochick56]

Enhanced- Bucky Barnes Chapter Four

Bucky Barnes x Mutant!Reader

Warnings: A violent scene is described in this chapter. A tiny bit of angst. 

Disclaimers: I don’t own any MCU characters/plots mentioned.

Word Count: 2, 484 words

(Gif’s not mine!)

Read Chapter Three Here!!

***

The darkness that surrounded you was serene. Calm and welcoming almost. You expected it to be cold and dark, but...it’s warm and enlightening. You figure it’s because you feel a part of the darkness.  

It took you in, accepted you and embraced your every flaw. From the ones engraved on your soul to the ones decorating your skin and mind. 

It didn’t push, it didn’t expect anything of you, thus it didn’t pressure you.

 You felt safe and at peace as our body floated in never-ending blackness. You were alone, but you didn’t feel like it.

 Suddenly, a strong force came in the opposite direction and sucked you through a small hole. A light. 

You release a gut-wrenching scream and your eyes fly open. 

It all happens so fast. You sit up and gasp, taking in a huge gulp of air, as much as you lungs could take in one breath.

 A bright light hits you directly in the eyes, forcing you to release a small groan and screw them shut, laying back down. Then your hearing tunes in.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep. Beep.

The beeping has become erratic. You cautiously open your crusty, dry eyes when you hear shuffling beside you, something warm is moving your hand.

When you look over, your head still hazy, the first thing you see is Bucky. His eyes are wide and his mouth is moving erratically, but you can’t seem to make out anything he’s saying. 

You squint your eyes, trying to read his lips. And then your ears zoom into his words. “...okay?”

“What?” says the words hurt your throat. They’re weak and cracking. 

He grips your hand tighter, his eyes glossy with unshed tears. “I’m going to get you a doctor okay?” He doesn’t wait for you to answer before releasing your hand and running out of the room.

“Bucky wa-” your hand is left outstretched towards the doorway.

*

“Okay miss Y/l/n. It seems all your vital signs are just about right.” The doctor, a chubby middle-aged man with a retreating hairline, smiles sympathetically at you. 

You nod stiffly, shifting your gaze over to Bucky, who’s leaning on a wall all the way on the other side of the room, his arms crossed over his chest and his concerned eyes trailed on you. Once your gazes meet, he’s quick to look away. 

The doctor clears his throat, gaining your attention and looking between you two. “I’ll leave you to rest then. I’ll be back in a few hours.” He throws Bucky a small smile and nods then leaves, closing the door lightly behind you.

“Why did you do it?” As soon as the door closes, Bucky blurts out the seemingly pressing question.

Your head snaps towards him and you frown. “Buck-”

“No,” he stalks over to you, his jaw clenched. “Why Y/n? I-I just. I-I n-” he pauses his breaking speech and lets a small sigh leave his lips, closing his eyes tightly. 

Your heart squeezed painfully in your chest. He finally opens his eyes, they’re damp, his jaw clenched so hard, it’s difficult to believe it wasn’t broken by now. 

“I need to know why y-you’d ever even consider-”

You interrupt him, your voice soft. “C-can we not talk about this? I,” you swallow the lump in your throat. “ I don’t feel comfortable.”

He grips the corners of your bed tightly, his knuckles turning white and his eyes set on your bandaged wrists, which you self-consciously hide from his view. “Y/n, you almost died. You can’t really expect me-”

You look him in the eyes, your own pleading. “Please Bucky.”

He scoffs, hangs his head and nods. His response is but a whisper. “Fine.” 

You sag at his compliant response, relief flooding you. After a second of tense silence, you decide to break it.

“Where is everybody?” 

He throws you a look, conveying the fact that he knew you were trying to change the subject, but true to his word doesn’t comment on it. “They’re waiting outside. You scared us doll.” He looks you in the eye then chuckles humorlessly. 

You hate to admit it, but you had were disappointed he hadn’t been personally affected by the whole ordeal. You know it’s wrong to feel this way, and you feel horrible about it, but you also can’t help it. 

Biting your lip, you elude his gaze, fiddling with the paper-thin hospital sheets laying on you. “That wasn’t my intention. I thought no one would notice.” Your last sentence is uttered reluctantly, scared of Bucky’s reaction to your confession.

Bucky lets out a small, incredulous scoff. “Not your intention Y/n? Y-you...are you kidding me? Did you really think no one would notice that you-” the vein in his neck is sticking out. He runs his hand through his face, a frustrated habit of his. Then his gaze flickers back to you, significantly softer and filled concern. 

“Do you know what it was like to find you laying in that bathroom floor, Y/n?” he swallows thickly, clearly pushing back tears. “I,” he holds his hands out, staring at them with a terrified glance. “I held your limp body in my hands. There was blood everywhere. Your blood, on me.” He looks down at himself. You suck in a sharp breath. 

He fists his hands and closes his eyes painfully. “And the worst part? I saw the life leave your eyes. I kept begging you to stay with me. Not to leave because,” his hand snakes into yours. You squeeze his hand tightly, holding back tears of your own. He seemed to understand what you meant and continued speak in a broken voice. “Because the thought of you dead, Y/n, terrified me. Lord knows I need you.” A single tear slides down his cheek, leaving a small wet trail on his cheek.

He doesn’t make a move to wipe it away, his eyes trained on you. He stares into your eyes and you do the same, ignoring your racing heart in the process, and searching for any type of sign that he was lying. But you can’t find anything that wasn’t sincerity and painful indignation in them. 

Your breath hitches in your throat at his words. What did he mean he needs you? You only just started talking. 

And yet, as you asked yourself the question, you realize, James Buchanan Barnes is the only person that could understand what you’d gone through. He might not know what it was, but he had the look. The one of someone tortured by their past. The same look you had. 

Maybe James Buchanan Barnes cared and trusted you enough to see this side of him because you and he were so similar. 

Maybe James Buchanan Barnes and you were destined to meet. 

***

A few hours fly by. Bucky leaves and the rest of the Avengers suddenly invade your hospital room. His still words float around in your brain a dozen times more. And you blush profusely, trying to repress the small smile you’d always feel creeping onto your face. It wasn’t of much help.

“Y/n?! Oh my God, you scared me!” Wanda rushes over as soon as her eyes land on you and tugs you into a bone-crushing hug. She buries her face into your hair. “Don’t ever do that again, please.” You smile and pat her back, holding back the urge to reciprocate her worried statement with one reminding her you couldn't possibly promise her that. 

Then, Tony runs over, taking your hands into his, his eyes stare at you with such heartbreaking sadness, it’s hard to not feel guilty.  “Oh, Buttercup...I’m so sorry.” 

You gulp, nodding and offering a forced smile. He looks like he wants to say more, but doesn’t do anything further. Something you're incredibly thankful for.

One by one, the Avengers offer you hugs and Thor even brought you a huge teddy bear, stating “So you don’t feel lonely at night Lady Y/n.” Your heart warms at their words and caring gestures. 

It’s sad, but you’d never felt more a part of the team than now. 

Steve and Bucky are nowhere in sight, which only serves to sadden and worry you. But you push those feelings aside, focusing on the lightening mood the rest of the Avengers had created in your small hospital room. 

Finally, the question burning deep in your brain you frown. “Hey, guys? Where are Bucky and Steve?” 

The room immediately goes silent and your eyebrows only plunge lower. The Avengers look at eachother. “What?”

Tony looks over at you, sighing. “They’re...talking outside.”

You raise a brow. “Why do I get the feeling you’re lying?” 

Tony lets out another sigh, looking directly at Natasha, who widens her eyes generously and shakes her head. You scoff. 

“You know, for a super spy you aren’t very sneaky Nat.” Her head snaps over to you and she smiles sheepishly. 

“Where are they?”

Tony lets his shoulders sag, defeated. “They- Y/n. I’m gonna tell you-”

“Tony, don’t,” Natasha warns.

Tony dismisses her with his hand, then turns back to you. “But you have to promise me you won’t leave this room if I do.”

You huff. “Deal. Now spill.”

“Steve and Bucky...are,” Tony swallows, seeming regretful about opening his mouth. You glare at him. 

“They’re what Tony?”

Tony presses his lips together. “Well, you know, it started out as a small discussion then,” he shrugs. “They started getting a little more aggressive with eachother and-”

“Tony.”

“Well Bucky, sort of, kind of,-”

“Tony!”

Tony jumps, startled. 

Thor laughs loudly from behind him. “I think what the man of iron is trying to express in words lady Y/n, is that the soldier for the colder seasons drepa the captain.

When all you offer as a response is small, confused look, he grins amusedly, clarifying. “Or as you Americans would like to call it; Bucky snapped Steve in half like a twig.”

Your eyes widen in alarm and you rush to take off your blanket. “He what? W-where are they? Is anyone seriously hurt?” 

Tony’s eyes widen with urgency and Natasha is quick to cut in, her voice, as usual, monotone. “I think Thor’s being a little dramatic.”

Thor glares at her, “Hey!”

Natasha continues, disregarding his small protest. “Bucky didn’t kill Steve. He just...roughed him up a bit.” She shrugs nonchalantly. 

“Uh, you call giving him a broken nose, two fractured ribs, and a black eye, roughing him up?” Tony puts his fingers in quotes and throws her an incredulous look.

“What?”

“Okay, maybe it was a bit harsh, but Steve deserved it,” Natasha admits. 

“Guys.”

“I agree, he was being a dick to Y/n. But did you see the way he jumped on Steve when he mentioned Y/n? It was so slick!” Wanda gushes with a small smirk.

“Guys.”

Thor snickers. “It was one of the most savage yet satisfying things my old Norseman eyes have ever had the pleasure of seeing.”

Tony turns to him, horrified. “You find this amusing, Thor?! He could’ve killed him!”

“Oh come on Tony. Don’t be overdramatic, Steve is strong enough,” Clint scoffs. 

“Guys!” All their heads snap towards you and growl. 

“What the fuck happened between them?!” 

***

BUCKY’S POV (A FEW HOURS EARLIER)

I step out of Y/n’s hospital room, my heart beating at a rapid pace. Goddamn it. Why did she have to make me feel so damn vulnerable?

I look up just to find Steve standing there, the rest of the team close behind, and a concerned look etched on his face as he headed for Y/n’s door. 

“Bucky. You were with her in the ambulance, have they told you anything?”

I can hear him talking to me. I can even see his facial muscles and his mouth moving, but I couldn’t register anything he was saying. All I could really hear and see was red. The more he talks, the angrier I get. 

“Is she okay?”

That registered at least. I clench my teeth and fist my hands. 

Steve frowns. “Buck?”

“Leave.” Is all I growl, refusing to let him so much as look at Y/n’s door. 

“What-”

“I said; leave.” I’m now standing nose to nose with him, anger pulsing through my veins like never before. 

Steve clenches his jaw. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you Bucky, but I’m gonna go see Y/n. So if you’ll excuse me,” just as Steve tries to sidestep me I beat him to it and push his chest back. 

“What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with me is that that girl in there,” I throw my thumb over my shoulder aggressively. “Has been through hell and back. She doesn’t need you to remind her of why she did what she did.” Steve swallows thickly but continues looking at me evenly, refusing to back down. “Leave, man. This is the last time I’m gonna say it. You don’t deserve to see her.” I glance at the team. “In fact, none of you do. You did this to her.”

Steve scoffs. “No, Bucky. Y/n did this to herself it was her choice.”

I can see Tony cringe from the corner of my eye. Wrong choice of words Steve. 

I look at him calmly. “Say that again. I dare you.”

Steve squares his shoulders and puffs his chest. “I said; we had no influence in Y/n’s choice. She was the one who decided to-”

I didn’t wait for him to finish, pounding on him and bringing my fist down onto his face. I heard a sickening crack come from his nose but I didn’t stop, punching at everything I could get my knuckles on. “It’s...all...your...fault.”

Honestly, I don’t know where the hell I got the strength to take Captain America down in one move and on top of that be beating him to a pulp, but right now I don’t care.

He finally manages to push me off him, his face bloody and his breaths coming in labored pants. Nurses and doctors are rushing over to see what the commotion was all about. 

I don’t wait for them, dodging the aiding Avengers’ hands with a level of stealth even I didn’t know I had. I was so angry. I kick him in the ribs, ignoring his painful grunts, and sit on his stomach, my hands lunging for and tightly gripping his throat. 

I could only see red flashing behind my lids. I was pissed, sure, but I would never kill Steve, not really.

Steve continues to scratch at my hands and the rest of the Avengers are trying to pry me off. I scowl. “I should kill you for what you did, but I won’t. Believe it or not, Y/n would never forgive me for it. Even after you hurt her so much.” Then I stood up, ripped my arms from the team’s grips and stormed off, bumping my shoulder harshly with Natasha’s on my way out. 

Read Chapter Five Here!!

***

Okay, here it is folks!!

I honestly need a Bucky in my life, lol.

Anywho, as always reply, request, send asks about ANYTHING you want to ask me.

A Special Thanks To:

@jessikared97 @sherlockedtash88 and @lilypalmer1987 my brave-souled forevers! (lol)

As well as:

@wantingtobekorra

@littlephoenix-fire

@burningcoffeetimetravel

@superwholockwannabe

@babyplutoszx2

@stydia-4-ever

@animegirlgeeky 

@moli1497 -my lovely “Enhanced” people.

[literallyprentissstwin]

pain of the past 🌗 - spencer reid x reader

this has been requested by an Anon <3 

Prompt: #90 - “Why didn´t you tell me?” with Spencer Reid

Characters: Spencer Reid, Y/N Y/L/N, Unsub, team of Season 7

Warnings: mention of rape & abortion, hurt/comfort, angst 

A/N: I don´t really know if this makes sense, but there you go :) feedback is appreciated :) 

wordcount: 1.8k 

 Y/N knew that it would be hard, but she didn´t expect it to be that hard.

The team had travelled to Kennesaw, Georgia to help the police find an unsub who raped and tortured young women between the age of 18 to 25 and kills them before he dumbs them right outside the city. As soon as Y/N heard about where they were going and what this case was about, a bad feeling had crept up on her. Everything was just too familiar. Not only the fact, that they travelled back into her hometown, but also the case. Because unknown to the team and her boyfriend Spencer, she was hiding something.

 It took the team 2 days to catch their unsub. He did a mistake and his latest victim was able to identify the man, which goes to the name Marcus Valentine. A name Y/N hadn´t heard in years and actually never wanted to hear ever again. After the police officers brought the man in, it was the task of the BAU to interrogate him and get him to confess. Since Y/N was the only one to really fit the victimology and the type of women he liked, Hotch send her in. God, if he only knew or if she would have only said something.

 And here she was, sitting in that interrogation room opposite to the man who had caused her so much pain in her past, hoping that he wouldn´t recognize her. She prayed, because she really wanted to keep this part of her past in the dark; her team didn´t need to know about this dark chapter of her life. Y/N´s thought were interrupted by Derek bringing Marcus Valentine into the interrogation room. He sat him down onto the chair on the other side of the table and fixed the handcuffs under the table before he exited the room again, leaving Y/N room to start her interrogation.

 „Hello, Mr. Valentine. My name is Agent Y/N Y/L/N and I´m with the FBI. Before I start this, are you aware of your rights? Or do I need to repeat them to you?“, the agent said, trying to sound as serious as possible and to surpress the nervous shakes that were running through her body.

„No, darling. Your charming co-worker already read them to me so I´m fine. But, do we know eachother? You look so familiar?“, Marcus asked as he looked at Y/N.

„I don´t think so.“, Y/N said quickly and opened the case file in front of her, „you know why you´re here?“

„Yeah, I kind of heard about it.“, Valentine stated, still looking at Y/N and trying to remember where he know her from.

„Great, so you´ll admit that you raped and tortured Jessica Alvis, Monica Real, Biance Domenco and Lily Garnett before you killed them and dumbed them outside of this town.“, Y/N asked as she placed several photos of the victims  on the table in front of her, in a way that Marcus had to look at them.

„If I confess to those murders, will you answer me some of my questions?“

„Mr. Valentine, I´m not here to play any games. Did you kill those women or not? It´s a simple question.“

„You still look so familiar to me. I´m sure I´ve seen you around her before.“, Marcus started again.

„Look, I´m only here to do my job. If I were you, I would confess to those murders and maybe, just maybe things will get a bit easier for you.“, Y/N reasoned as she gathered the pictures back in her file and put out some paper and a pen for their unsub to write his confession on. But he wasn´t having any of it.

„I think I know who you are, Lisa.“, Marcus said and just like that, Y/N felt like she´s been hit in the face with a chair.

„I-I don´t..“, Y/N stammered but wasn´t able to form any correct words.

„You´re still as pretty as the last time I´ve seen you. If not even prettier. Tell me, how´s your mom doing?“, Marcus smirked and carefully leant back into his chair.

„Please..I don´t know what you´re talking about.“, Y/N said as she got up.

„Does your team know? About your dark past? About the fact that you´re not the little miss perfect you pretend to be?“, Marcus continued talking.

Y/N noticed that her breath started to quicken and she felt dizzy. She wasn´t able to move or say a word to this sick bastard in front of her. Just as she was about to gather some courage to leave the room, Spencer and Derek rushed in. While Derek tried to shut the unsub up and continue the interrogation, Spencer brought Y/N outside oft he room into the conference room the team had been working in the past few weeks. Carefully, he sat her down on a chair and instructed her to take deep breaths. As soon as Y/N had calmed down, she started to sob and Spencer engulfed her in a comforting hug, trying to comfort her. Right about, when the tears had subsided, the rest of the team joined the couple and they closed the door behind them.

„He confessed…everything. It´s over.“, Derek said as he looked down at Y/N, worry glacing his eyes.

„Good.“, Y/N murmured, not letting go of Spencer. „Y/N, i really hate to ask this and I don´t know if I´m even in the place to do so, but what did Marcus mean with what he said?“, JJ wanted to know as she sat down in a chair next to the woman.

Y/N closed her eyes and sighed. She had hoped so much to never ever talk about this moment in her past again. But here she was. She couldn´t leave them hanging there just like this; they deserved to know.

So, in the hope, that the team would understand, she took a deep breath before she began to explain: „Okay…first of all, I need you to know that I had no choice, okay? I was 18, I just graduated, my life was about to start, and i didn´t know what else to do and..“

„Hey, hey, hey! No one will judge you okay?“, Spencer tried to comfort his girlfriend.

„O-Okay..so, I know Marcus. We grew up in this town together. He was a few years over me and I-I always had this bad feeling about him. One night, we were at this party of a friend and…I don´t remember how it happened or when, but what I know is that I basically had no other choice than letting him do what he wanted to do to me. I screamed and fought, but nobody was there to help me. After he was done, I was like in trance. I left the party and went right home. I took a billion of showers to try to get him off me, but nothing worked. I felt so dirty and disgusting. I really thought it couldn´t get any worse, but then…“, Y/N explained but needed to stop to gather herself.

„But then you got pregnant.“, Hotch stated and looked at his agent, anger boiling inside of him.

„Yeah…yeah, I-I got pregnant. I-I didn´t know what to do. I couldn´t tell my mom or my dad, my friends also didn´t care and I was not ready to be a Mom quite yet. I didn´t know if I could give this child all the love in the world it deserved after knowing how it was conceived you know? So I did the only thing that felt right to me.“

„You had an abortion.“, Emily said, totally feeling the emotional pain of the young woman back in the years as she herself had basically experienced it as well.

„I-I know I shouldn´t have done that, but I was so helpless and alone and..and.“

„Shhh, it´s okay. Deep breaths. No one´s judging you, we all understand okay?“, Reid whispered and hugged his girlfriend tighter.

„A-After that abortion, I left the city and I changed my name from Lisa Miller to Y/N Y/L/N. I needed a fresh start. My mom didn´t care anyway. I kept this part of my past for myself, because I´m not very proud of it.“

„Does anyone know about it?“, Rossi wanted to know.

„No, I never told anybody. You guys are the first one to know about this.“, Y/N said.

An uncomfortable silence spread within the group.

„Well, can anybody say anything? I-I should probably never tell you guys about it. I´m sorry.“, Y/N whimpered and was about to get up when Spencer spoke up.

„No, I´m glad you chose to tell us now , eventhough it kind of didn´t happen out of free will. But I can only speak for myself when I say that I´m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell me about this painful memory in your past. And please, you really don´t need to feel ashamed or bad about anything. You were only 18, this child wasn´t made during an act of love. Sure, there would have been plenty of opportunities left for you, but I understand why you chose this one. And I personally don´t see you any different than before. To me, you´re still that awesome, strong and brave woman I fell in love with.“, he said as he smiled down at her.

Everyone on the team nodded at that. „I agree, minus the falling in love part tho.“, Derek joked and everyone started to laugh, which kind of lifted the mood in the group. After a little while, the group parted and only left Spencer and Y/N to themselves.

„Why didn´t you tell me? You didn´t have to suffer all alone.“ , Spencer wanted to know as soon as the others had left.

„I-I´m sorry I should have probably told you, but you know, I felt so dirty and ashamed, even after all these years. It´s not something I´m proud of talking about. Also I had this feeling that as soon as I tell you about it, you would want to break up with me and see me as weak a-and I couldn´t stand the thought of loosing you.“, Y/N reasoned.

„Seeing you as weak and breaking up with you? Why should I? Over all, I´m proud of you.“, Spencer whispered to Y/N at which the woman smiled.

„Why?“, she giggled.

„Well, first: because you´re amazing and second, because you´re one of the strongest and bravest people I know because you take the pain of the past and use it to become a better version of yourself in the present and future. And this is something that I truly admire about you.“, Spencer explained and kissed his girlfriend on her forehead.

„I love you, Spence.“, Y/N mumbled, tears slowly creeping down her cheeks.

„I love you so much more. I always will.“

[ @dontshootmespence @veroinnumera @ultrarebelheart @illegalcerebral @cherrybombs-and-rabbitholes @bucky-smiles @butsomeofusarelookingatthestars @jennferjareau @crimindsaspe @remember-me-forever-silent-angel @ssaunitchief @docspencerreid @uncomfie @lookwhatyoumademequeue @tenaciousarcadeexpert @marvelfanlife @sam-carter-in-training @sweater-vest-reid @crimeshowtrash @acespence @spencerreidreads @idkbutspencer @iammostdefinitelyonfire26 @princesswagger14 @dionnaea ]