#charasumen

[woman-child91]

Fugaku: I want you to eat healthier. We’re having salad for dinner.

Charasuke: But, Menma said we were having burgers for dinner.

Fugaku: If Menma jumped off a cliff. Would you?

Charasuke: …

Fugaku: Charasuke?!

Charasuke: Ummm… I… I just… I mean, it depends.

Fugaku: DON’T JUMP OFF A CLIFF!

Charasuke: Well, I wasn’t planning on it.

Fugaku: But if Menma jumped, you would?

Charasuke: …

Fugaku: CHARASUKE?!

Charasuke: Is there a time limit to answer?

[woman-child91]

Menma: I look so ugly! I got Poison Ivy and my face is all covered in lotion! *cries*

Charasuke: Awww, Menma. Don’t be like that.

Kakashi: You don’t look as bad you think, Menma. Besides, you’re in the springtime of youth! You’ll recover soon.

Sakura: Yes, Menma. Kakashi-sensei is right.

Menma: *stops crying and wipes off tears* You really think so?

Charasuke: Yeah! I mean, we all love how you look like. You’re always so pretty. You’re just not pretty right now.

Menma: *starts loudly crying all over again*

Kakashi: Way to go, Charasuke. Excellent job on lifting up your boyfriend’s spirits.

Sakura: Charasuke! You moron! You made him even more upset!

[woman-child91]

Menma: Did you? Did you just grab my butt?

Charasuke: I’m a weak man.

[woman-child91]

If Charasuke was more like Sasuke

Charasuke: If anyone tries to hurt you. I will protect you, Menma.

Menma: I think I can protect myself.

Charasuke: If they try to get anywhere near you… I will kill them!

Menma: *sarcastic tone* Delightful. I’ve managed to turn you into… Gaara.

[woman-child91]

Charasuke: Wow! Menma, you’ve got quite a lot of admirers. Who are all these people?

Menma: Ugh! I don’t know and I don’t care. They just won’t leave me alone. They’re so annoying.

Random Boys/Girls: Menma! Yoo-hoo! Hi!

Charasuke: I’m getting the feeling that you’re not enjoying this much attention from boys and girls, huh?

Menma: No, I don’t! This… this headache I’m developing is much more preferable than the company.

Charasuke: Are you talking about me or your admirers?

Menma: My admirers. Wait! On second thought, both. My admirers and you. Now get out of my face and go train with Shisui, Itachi or your Dad.

[woman-child91]

RTN!Gaara: My problem is… YOU! YOU RUIN EVERYTHING!!!

Menma: Gaara! What?!

Gaara tackles Menma and they start rolling on the floor fighting.

Kakashi: 1. 2..

Sakura: 3…

Charasuke: I’ve got Menma! *Grabs Menma by his butt and pulls him away from Gaara*

[woman-child91]

Menma: I’m just leaving my bag here while I go ask Kakashi-sensei something about our current mission. You better not take a peek, Charasuke. *leaves*

Sakura: Do you think Menma would find me more attractive if I let my hair grow out again?

Charasuke: Menma left his gym bag here.

Sakura: I mean, I kinda miss my old long hair. It made me look more feminine.

Charasuke: It’s very hard for me to be alone with Menma’s gym bag.

Sakura: But, long hair can also be very high-maintenance.

Charasuke: Specially when he seemed so nervous about me taking a look at what is in it. *opens gym bag and pulls out Menma’s spare clothes. The kind of underwear he finds is not the kind he’d ever expect. It’s a red thong!*

Sakura: Long hair or short hair? Which should I choose?

Charasuke: I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to look at him the same way ever again. I mean… a red thong?! A THONG?! That’s what he wears underneath those plain and boring orange pants of his?

Sakura: Has Menma ever told you what type of girl he likes? I mean, you could help me out here, Charasuke.

Charasuke: Do you think Menma is actually some kind of secret sex kitten?

Sakura: I guess I could let it grow and wait to see his reaction.

Charasuke: I don’t mean just literally.

Sakura: Why didn’t I ever ask Menma what he thought about my long hair?

Charasuke: I’m talking about him actually being into getting spanked, dominated, talked dirty to. And no, it’s not like I’ve ever thought about doing those things to him. I don’t think? *zips up bag and turns to Sakura*

Sakura: Could you ask him for me whether he likes long or short hair on girls?

Charasuke: Ask who?

Menma: I’m back. Kakashi-sensei said that we’ll be meeting in 30 minutes at the gates. Hey! You didn’t open my bag? Did you, Charasuke?

Charasuke: *blushes and turns face away* Me? Open your bag? Of course not! How could you even think such a thing?

Sakura: Yes, Menma. I’ve been with him this whole time and all he’s been doing has been listening to my girl problems.

[woman-child91]

IF Charasuke and Menma were like reversed roles of Sasuke and Naruto. Meaning? What if Menma wanted to "kill" Charasuke?

Menma: Any last words before I kill you?

Charasuke: Not that I think you’ll respond to simple flattery. But, there are worse things in life than dying at the hands of a deadly sex kitten.

Menma: *blushes* This is exactly why you and I can’t ever get along. Quit saying creepy jokes!

Charasuke: Who ever said I was joking?

Menma: …

Dark Kurama: Awww, what’s the matter? Too stunned and embarrassed for words, Menma?

[woman-child91]

Charasuke: How is the world’s cutest boy doing today?

Menma: Who are you talking about?

Charasuke: You, silly.

Menma: *blushes but, hides it by turning his back to him* That’s disgusting. I don’t want to be called cute by the likes of you! You should go train or something. *He thinks I’m cute? He actually thinks I’m cute. Did you hear him, Kurama? I’m so happy!*

Dark Kurama: Sheesh, kid! Does the word tsundere ring a bell to you?

[woman-child91]

Charasuke asking Menma out on a date

Charasuke: So, do you wanna go out sometime?

Menma: No.

Charasuke: How about Friday night?

Menma: Ummm… no.

Charasuke: Saturday’s good for me. How about Saturday?

Menma: I’m not going out with you… ever!

Charasuke: Okay. Fine. Sheesh!

Menma: …

Charasuke: … so is Sunday out of the question?

Menma: *punches Charasuke on the stomach*

Charasuke: Okay. Got it.

[woman-child91]

This is what I think goes down every time Menma is trying to force Charasuke to train.

Menma: Where are you hiding? You big scaredy cat! Show that handsome face already!

Charasuke: (running away from Menma) No! I don’t wanna train!

[woman-child91]

Naruto worrying about Sasuke

Sasuke: I’m fine. I’ve just been overusing my Sharingan a bit.

Naruto: Really? You okay? Let me see. *touches his forehead with his hand*

Sasuke: *entire face starts turning red*

Naruto: You feel feverish and you’re all red.

Sasuke: *shoves Naruto off of him* I said I’m fine! Quit touching me!

Menma worrying about Charasuke

Menma: *runs up to hold a wobbly Charasuke* Are you alright?

Charasuke: *has to lean on Menma not to fall* I’m just a little tired. That’s all. My Dad’s training has just been extra harsh lately.

Menma: You idiot! Why didn’t you say something sooner?! You need to get a proper rest and get your energy back. What good will your Sharingan do us on a mission if you’re all tired out?

Charasuke: *smiles and starts caressing Menma’s cheek* Aww, you’re so cute when you’re worrying about me. My sweet little, kitty.

Menma: *blushes and slaps Charasuke’s hand away* Shut up! I’m not worried about you at all! I’m just… I’m… just worried about you messing up our new mission.

Charasuke: You’re such an adorable and shy tsundere, aren’t you? *leans in close for a kiss*

Menma: If your lips touch mine… I’ll use Rasengan on you!

Kakashi: Boys! I’m happy to see such vigorous and loving relationship between the two of you. I really am. But, don’t you think you could save all your flirting for maybe AFTER we’ve finished our mission?

Menma: WE ARE NOT FLIRTING!

Kakashi: Well, you sure could’ve fooled me.

Sakura: *mutters* Stupid Charasuke hogging up all of Menma’s attention for himself.

[woman-child91]

My Future Charasuke x Menma Series

Part 13

Charasuke is reminiscing about the past and tells Sai something that Menma once said.

Charasuke: A long time ago. Sakura, Menma and I talked about something. We wondered what happiness would look like if we could give it a physical form. If I’m not mistaken. I think it was Menma who said that the shape of happiness might resemble glass. His reasoning made sense. He said that even though you don’t usually notice it. It’s still definitely there. You merely have to change your point of view slightly. And then that glass will sparkle and reflect the light. I doubt that anything else could argue it’s own existence more eloquently.

[woman-child91]

My Future Charasuke x Menma Series

Part 6

Tsunade just found out that the person responsible for killing Menma’s entire family was, Madara. Of course, she only informs the still remaining members of Team 7 about this and Charasuke starts changing even more than before.

Sai joins Team 7 as Menma’s replacement. But, nothing that happened in the anime/manga is going to happen in this future series. Sai and Sasuke don’t become friends. Sasuke doesn’t even try to befriend him.

Kakashi: Alright, you guys! Since we have a new member on our team. I think we should introduce ourselves again. Sakura, you go first.

Sakura: Hello, I’m Sakura Haruno. My likes? I like training under Lady Tsunade. My dislikes? I don’t like Menma not being here. My goals? I want to see Menma again.

Sai: My name is, Sai. My likes? I don’t really like anything. My dislikes? I don’t have those either. My goals? I can’t think of any.

Charasuke: My name is Charasuke Uchiha. My likes? I like training. My dislikes? I hate it when people compare me with my big brother. My goals? Is there anyone you’d hate so much you’d actually wanna kill them? I used to think that sort of thinking was unacceptable. Unless you followed the rules, killing someone was just murder. But now, it’s hatred that’s guiding me! I’m fighting to kill someone and in doing so, I’ll be saving someone else. I’m going to become a murderer for his sake. I’m going to stain my hands so that he won’t. *So please, wait for me, Menma.*

Kakashi: *I knew everything that happened with Menma had changed Charasuke. But, I had no idea the change was this drastic. Just what are you thinking, Charasuke?*

[woman-child91]

What if Menma had payed Charasuke a visit?

Think of this as a "Deleted Scene".

Charasuke is just coming back from a date with his 6 fangirls. He’s just closing his bedroom door behind him when he sees a masked boy with black hair sitting on his bed. He’s shirtless and is only wearing leather pants, gloves and boots.

Menma (Masked): So, had a good time hanging out with the kittens?

Charasuke: What?

Menma (Masked): I think you should outgrow such a childish hobby. If you ask my opinion. Just like I’ve outgrown my need for you.

Charasuke: *activates Sharingan* I don’t care who you are. But, I’m through listening to your annoying riddles.

Menma (Masked): Too slow! *uses Thunder God Jutsu to appear in front of him and punches him before he can finish the hand signs for a Fireball Jutsu*

[woman-child91]

Charasuke "welcoming" Menma back after finding out all he did when he had joined Obito

Charasuke: Is this a dream? Is it really you?

Menma: You should rest. I almost killed you with that massive black Rasengan I launched at the village.

Charasuke: *pokes Menma’s cheek* You… you’re actually alive?

Menma: So it would appear.

Charasuke: Appear? *clenches fist before pulling Menma’s face towards him* Don’t do that! Don’t sound so detached!

Menma: Forgive me. Old habit. *smirks* You big crybaby.

Charasuke: Bastard! *lets go of Menma’s face* Why? How many times are you going to lie to me? *nearly falls to the ground. He can barely stand up straight due to the heavy injuries he sustained from getting caught by the Rasengan. He has to lean back on the wall for support.*

Menma: I won’t make any excuses. I also don’t really care what you think of me.

Charasuke: *Activates Sharingan and punches Menma right on the face* Damn you! *starts beating the crap outta Menma while yelling at him* Do you have any idea what you put us through? The doubt? The pain? Coward! Why couldn’t you have told us?

Sakura walking into the hospital room

Sasuke: Why? Tell me why? *continues beating up Menma*

Sakura: Charasuke! No! Stop it! Right now! *yanks Charasuke off of the bloodied and bruised Menma*