#charmybeeble

[bloggingboutburgers]

the more I read questions and answers on your blog about medias and how every single characters out there gets shipped together because that's-how-shit-goes™, the more im considering making ace media myself. we gotta do everything in this house! Reminds me of that time I made the conscious decision to make 99% of my characters and stories LGBT, just to make heterobaiting on the people aorund me 😈

We really DO have to do everything in this house huh 😈

I get it tho. It's definitely tempting. Especially for underrepresented identities where you can be like "heyo surprise those exist". I myself have been tempted to someday write a story about a main character who has trouble making friends, finally making a friend, getting close, and then having to face terrible heartbreak when it turns out said 'friend' wants a romantic and sexual relationship and MC is actually aroace and just... Actually wanted a friend. Idk. No idea if anyone would be up for reading it and it'd be hard to write but still

[bloggingboutburgers]

hey! just stumbled on your blog today and I have to say it is one of the best surprises of my day! Happy to meet you as another aroace french fellow!! I have a question (a bit more private, so you do not have to answer if you are feeling uncomfortable about answering)! The comics about you and your partner truly are adorable, and you two seem to be really close! Society has this very strict view of couples so that they HAVE to love each other romantically, be mutually jealous, have sex, yadda yadda... obviously there is much more diverse couples than that, and thank goodness!! So I was wondering, since there is no romantic attraction on your side, what drives you in in your partner? Is it the secure and complex feeling of intimacy one has when in a relationship? Or something else entirely? I am curious! I love to hear about arospec couple experience! wish you the best for you and your partner! lots of love and support!!

Hey! Very happy to e-meet you as well, and thank you so much for the kind words TwT Very glad to be a nice surprise!

That's also a fair question! In all fairness, my partner was the one who brought up the idea of us being in a queerplatonic relationship, and my reaction to that was�� Painfully anticlimactic. But within months of trying it out I was definitely sold, way more sold than I thought I was gonna be.

I still sorta ask myself the question pretty often, to be honest. Like, what draws me to this so much, because it surprises me a lot, and makes me question myself as an aromantic at times – even though I always wind up coming back to the conclusion that, yeah, I am very much an aromantic.

Security definitely plays a big part into it – I'll even say safety. The fact that being with them allows me to get affection and positive physical contact without having anything expected of me beyond that in return is huge to me. I may not be interested in romantic love but I want affection from time to time like a lot of human beings I think, and I've found myself being pretty touch-starved/hug-starved quite a few times in my life. So I'd let friends hug me a lot, up until I realized a handful of them might’ve been seeing something other than just the bare thing of sharing affection as a human being in those hugs, and put me on the defensive. And then I’ve lived most of my life being wary of most people and of what they’d expect from me if I dared to get « too close » to them.

What I have with my partner allows me to have that affection, and to be able to give that affection, be it physically, verbally, or anything like that, without having to worry about my boundaries being crossed. They make me feel loved and safe at the same time and it can be a pretty tall order for someone like me. I guess that’s how I could put it best?

…Also they’re adorable and very funny, overall a very sunny person and I’m honoured I get to selfishly enjoy that from a front row.

…I could go on and on because there’d be a lot to say but yeah!! I hope that made sense TwT Thank you so much for the lovely good wishes^^

[bloggingboutburgers]

Thank YOU for the response and the kind words again!^^

I guess it’s a pretty good way of summing it up, yeah^^ “Compagnon de vie” is definitely a good wording for it! As @zofiam (I hope it’s OK that I’m tagging you TwT), another fellow French ace, once put it in my asks, it’s about “having a person to face and be in the world with, not someone to become your own world”, and honestly, they put it better than I ever could’ve. And 100% agree on the “belonging to” part! It’s good to have a feeling of “belonging WITH”, like, you fit well with that person and it’s a nice vibe that is fluid if need be, but you’re not their “property”, and that’s a feeling that romantic love evokes a little bit too much to me, especially when jealousy is involved.

And yeah – as you put it very well, these kinds of feelings are very varied and much more nuanced than the black-and-whiteness that is constantly presented to us by the norm. So I’m super grateful when people are open to seeing those nuances^^

hey! just stumbled on your blog today and I have to say it is one of the best surprises of my day! Happy to meet you as another aroace french fellow!! I have a question (a bit more private, so you do not have to answer if you are feeling uncomfortable about answering)! The comics about you and your partner truly are adorable, and you two seem to be really close! Society has this very strict view of couples so that they HAVE to love each other romantically, be mutually jealous, have sex, yadda yadda... obviously there is much more diverse couples than that, and thank goodness!! So I was wondering, since there is no romantic attraction on your side, what drives you in in your partner? Is it the secure and complex feeling of intimacy one has when in a relationship? Or something else entirely? I am curious! I love to hear about arospec couple experience! wish you the best for you and your partner! lots of love and support!!

Hey! Very happy to e-meet you as well, and thank you so much for the kind words TwT Very glad to be a nice surprise!

That's also a fair question! In all fairness, my partner was the one who brought up the idea of us being in a queerplatonic relationship, and my reaction to that was… Painfully anticlimactic. But within months of trying it out I was definitely sold, way more sold than I thought I was gonna be.

I still sorta ask myself the question pretty often, to be honest. Like, what draws me to this so much, because it surprises me a lot, and makes me question myself as an aromantic at times – even though I always wind up coming back to the conclusion that, yeah, I am very much an aromantic.

Security definitely plays a big part into it – I'll even say safety. The fact that being with them allows me to get affection and positive physical contact without having anything expected of me beyond that in return is huge to me. I may not be interested in romantic love but I want affection from time to time like a lot of human beings I think, and I've found myself being pretty touch-starved/hug-starved quite a few times in my life. So I'd let friends hug me a lot, up until I realized a handful of them might’ve been seeing something other than just the bare thing of sharing affection as a human being in those hugs, and put me on the defensive. And then I’ve lived most of my life being wary of most people and of what they’d expect from me if I dared to get « too close » to them.

What I have with my partner allows me to have that affection, and to be able to give that affection, be it physically, verbally, or anything like that, without having to worry about my boundaries being crossed. They make me feel loved and safe at the same time and it can be a pretty tall order for someone like me. I guess that’s how I could put it best?

…Also they’re adorable and very funny, overall a very sunny person and I’m honoured I get to selfishly enjoy that from a front row.

…I could go on and on because there’d be a lot to say but yeah!! I hope that made sense TwT Thank you so much for the lovely good wishes^^