bloggingboutburgers - Tumblr blog

[bloggingboutburgers]

Idk it wound up being a very mentally tiring week and I'm glad I can hold on to this thought when things start hurting too much

[bloggingboutburgers]

Saw your most recent comic and I just wanted thank you so much. I’ve left a lot of fandom spaces recently due to rampant aphobia, so it’s a breath of fresh air to see this comic

From an AroAce reader

Yeah, arguably that's the reason I'm not engaging actively in any fandom anymore... ...Well, that, and somehow I get gratification from drawing comics about being aroace of all things, so I guess I don't miss it. This feels better.

But... Honestly, in a lot of people's defense, I'm not the first one who's raised this point and I hope I'm not the last, because we're far from having reached decent, widespread respect in that sense yet. I see tidbits of improvements little by little but... Yeah there's a very long way to go. If anything I'm glad we don't have to feel alone with that feeling, it's small consolation probably, but it's already something.

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Hear, have some chocy milk for your troubles!

Pfr- Thanks-

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Boop 🐾

...Oh wow I left two boops unanswered for a while

Sorry about that TwT

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Sneak Boop Attack!

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Hi and congratulations on your upcoming union!

Heya! Sorry I'm late, but thank you so much! Well- it'll be an upcoming union IF the US government allows us, and my European brain won't fully rest reassured until it's confirmed they do, which will take months IF it does go well... TwT But fingers crossed!

[bloggingboutburgers]

I just read your Webtoon and as an aroace person I like it a lot :D

That’s all, have a nice day/night

🧡💛🤍🩵💙

Aaaa, thank you so much!! TwT And sorry I'm replying so late!! Hope you have a nice day/night as well!

[bloggingboutburgers]

Being a questioning (possibly aro) person with an aversion to saliva is crazy bc idk if I don’t want to kiss people because yeauch saliva or bc I just. Don’t want to kiss people.

...Honestly it can get so confusing when stuff overlaps

[bloggingboutburgers]

Greetings. Have you heard of In Stars and Time? If so, do you have thoughts? If not, I hope one day you have the time. That way, you'll have thoughts.

...As one can imagine, I have so many thoughts about it.

Heya! I have, and I've also been told about supposedly the aro/ace rep in it, although I have yet to see that for myself. We just started playing a little bit of it with my partner a while ago just to check it out.

I'm French and we did not expect there would be so much French, and also I accidentally have the same first name as the Tutorial Kid, so that was a pretty hilarious experience

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Yeah, I know "not all aro/aces" and all, but please don't use "not all aro/aces" as an excuse to not explore anything exclusively aro/ace ever. Otherwise any trace of aro/aceness might end up effectively lost to fandom osmosis.

To sum up... If you wouldn't be homophobic that way, please don't be aphobic that way.

[bloggingboutburgers]

This gig is doing wonders for my self-esteem related to my age tbh

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Flashback to that one moment where it felt like I'd found an aroace cheatcode on life somehow

[bloggingboutburgers]

hey! just have a quick question about getting into qprs... i have this person i've known for about 2-3 years now and i'd absolutely love to get into a qpr with them; i've tried to hint at it in the past but my autistic ass can't figure out how to say it and have them pick it up (they've never noticed any of my hints before) without explicitly asking "hey have you heard of this thing called a queer-platonic relationship before? yeah i want to do that with you", as that'd just be awkward and i have nowhere fucking near the confidence to do that with all my anxiety and whatnot. essentially i'm asking for your wisdom on how to suggest it to someone without explicitly saying that and with truckloads more anxiety than the average person. any help will be much appreciated, but keep in mind that autism bars a lot of stuff, including the ability to properly judge social situations (this is one area where i particularly struggle). thank you!!

Heya!

I've said it in the past in response to some other asks, but my partner was the one who suggested the idea of a QPR to me, not the other way around (I had no idea what QPRs were at the time), so... I'm not the best person to give advice on this TwT Of course it doesn't help that every person is different and that there's no guarantee that what works for a person will necessarily work for another...

I will say this though, in case it helps in any way: my partner had known me for a year and a half before they offered the idea, and apparently they'd wanted to offer it within just a couple months of starting to talk to me. Thing is, I'd made it clear early on that I'm not interested in romance or sex (as an aroace it's kind of something I'd built a reflex to let everyone know, at that point, so people wouldn't build expectations on me), so they might've thought even the idea of a QPR might make me wanna distance myself... But no, actually, I took it like it was a completely natural consequence with the most anticlimatic "OK sure sounds cool" imaginable.

But most importantly... "Hey have you heard of this thing called a queer-platonic relationship before? yeah i want to do that with you" IS pretty much exactly how they asked me, and that went well. If there's anything that I can offer as advice or comfort, it's that very fact. I can tell you from experience that it didn't make things awkward for me at all. The confidence part of course is another whole issue that I don't wanna downplay, though I'm not really sure what to offer as an alternative... TwT But I hope whatever you go for, it'll work out well for you in the end.

Here's pretty much word for word how it went for us, if it helps at all as well! There definitely was some tension whiplash to bear with, and some discussions that followed to see where that really left us, but in the end, we really are vibing^^ And personally, I feel there's nothing that works better than actually speaking from the heart and sincerely, as terrifying (and socially dangerous) as that can be sometimes. It can slam back in your face sometimes, I won't deny that, but it can also help a great deal other times, and in my experience, it gets easier the more you do it. Heck, I know it's easier said than done TwT But that's the most sincere thing I could say about that.

[bloggingboutburgers]

Bottomline is – of course I want to be loved. Luckily for me, I AM loved, too. So don't you go worrying about me "not being loved".

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Aaaa I'm glad you like them!!! And many thanks to @aseriesofunfortunatejan for the support on that too, she is indeed nice èwé

Early bday gift....

My friend @aseriesofunfortunatejan got me these for my birthday!!! They were made by @bloggingboutburgers They are so cute and cool and it made me super happy. (Ignore the strange entity carrying them for now, I'll figure out the right place for them later...)

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hi! I have a relationship question I hope you don't mind me asking, you're pretty much my go-to blog for stuff abt qprs 😭 how do you and your partner navigate conflicting emotional needs? for example physical affection and date-like activities, things that one of you really values and would want in order to feel supported but that are too far out of the other's comfort zone. ofc communication is always key, but once you communicate both of your needs where do you go from there? how do you two find ways to balance both of your needs where each of you feels supported and that your needs are being met in a way that doesn't compromise the other's boundaries? I'm sure this is a thing in even romantic relationships too but in my experience this is a little harder to navigate in a qpr, and it's something I'm struggling with atm, so I'm grateful for any advice and experiences you would be willing to share! 🙏

Sorry you're having trouble in that sense TwT I'm sure it's an issue that happens in a lot of types of relationships indeed, but it doesn't make it any less difficult!

To be honest though... I guess I'm lucky, because my QPP and I don't have that many issues in that sense, I don't think? Our needs and wants typically align pretty well, and if one of them IS too much for another's boundaries, we typically have no issue communicating honestly and moving on from it fine. Maybe it helps us that both of us (especially them) have had to be extra-aware of our respective families' wants and needs more than our own growing up, and we're very aware of that, so we want to give each other room to vibe the way we both want to? (I'll say though, I kinda sucked at that on our early years. I'd sometimes throw stupid tantrums and be an ass about such insignificant things, but I want to hurt them and put pressure on them less than anything, so I guess I've quietly strived to become better at it year after year... Maybe time and self-reflection over time just helps sometimes?)

That said... Yeah, it's not happened often that we've found things we weren't compatible on that left us at a dead end. And in some rare cases where we don't really know yet how things are gonna go if it comes to this or that, we have a bit of a "we'll figure it out when we get there" approach, I feel?

No idea if that's gonna keep on fine like that or if it'll bite us in the ass in the future, but to be honest, the only way we'll find out is to go ahead and see. And so far so good. I guess that's the way I see it anyway? But... Yeah I'm definitely one of the lucky ones I feel TwT Even though I'm always afraid of doing things that hurt my partner without realizing and letting that sit for years... I try to take measures so I never do, and so, if anything IS going badly, I don't fail to notice it. Don't wanna make the same mistakes my parents did and stuff.

...Ofc that's just my view on that, my partner @civiart might have a totally different response to this so I'll let them correct/complete if they feel it's needed TwT But I hope I'm doing our case justice!

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I just wanted to say I really appreciate your comics. A lot of your experiences really resonated with me and made me feel less alone. Thank you for sharing your art and experiences.

Thank YOU for liking them and taking the time to be kind about them here! TwT The whole thing is very mutual, whenever I post those it's kind of a shot I'm shooting to see if I'll keep feeling alone in this or that feeling or not, and more often than not, I definitely don't feel alone, and I feel those feelings are understood and validated^^ So it means a lot to me too!!