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mikanotes · 2 years

Text

— don’t care just missed you

cheong-san x gn!reader | 3.4k words

genre: horror, angst, comfort, then fluff

warnings: swearing, canon-divergence, blood, injury (eye injury), implied cannibalism (technically, he’s half human and half zombie), mentions of death, suicidal ideation, and anxiety. aouad stuff basically.

synopsis: being a shut-in introvert with no interest in spending time with people or going outside was something people weren’t exactly fond of. it turned out to be the best thing in your life when a virus broke out in the school near your house. OR you love cheongsan and don’t care that he barges into your house with a zombie bite on his arm.

a/n: so i just finished all of us are dead and. i’m upset LMFAO i know i said i was taking a break but the end with cheongsan’s implied death(?) made me so upset i wanted to write for him also i. cant find gifs for him

The living room was dark. As was the rest of the world. Or well, maybe saying the world in its entirety would be an exaggeration. The world was dark for the people of Hyosan.

You stared at your laptop screen— the only source of light in your house, currently—, clicking your tongue rhythmically as you stared at your wallpaper. On your toolbar, several old internet browser tabs were open. Social medias and such, platforms with information on what was going on. All refreshed and now gone.

The word was everywhere: zombies. A zombie apocalypse that had started spreading so fast one could compare the city’s situation to the famous movie Train to Busan. Before you could get any more useful information, networks had shut down entirely.

Of course. A classic move. “So misinformation won’t spread” was what the higher-ups of the military had told on TV. But you knew what this meant. Cutting off communications was dangerous, even more so in a city that slowly started to break down under the pressure of some unknown virus that turned people into literal zombies. Not only that, but their means of stopping the spreading of misinformation meant that they stopped the spreading of information in general. Without being in direct contact with what was going on… You couldn’t know anything.

Like, genuinely.

You lived in a small, humble house lodged in the middle of the forest. Your parents owned it and were always on trips. They’d told you you could live there if you wanted since they were almost never home, saying that the house was supposed to be yours when you’d be an adult, but that it worked either way. You’d taken up on the offer with joy, around the end of middle school. No one but your family and close friends knew you lived there. Needless to day you were a bit cut off from everyone else. You liked being alone, and having an entire house (even if a bit small) to yourself. It was nice.

You’d dropped out of school mid-year, leaving your close friends surprised and pleading you to stay. But you’d told yourself that social life wasn’t really for you, and much less the restrictions of the educational system when you were forced to attend school five days out of seven in a week. So you’d shut yourself in your house. You were fine with it, really. You liked it more than going out every other day. You had food stored for months, and you weren’t that far from the city. So if you needed more you could just go to the nearest road, take a taxi, and take a trip to the grocery store to stock up. So you were fine.

Nevertheless, it seemed people naturally craved for the presence of other people. Recently, watching slice-of-life animes during your breaks from homeschool had got you craving for the thrill of a typical “normal teenage life”. And you missed your friends. You wanted to run out school laughing with them, you wanted to go out for ice-cream on sunny, hot days. You wanted to pass notes with them during classes and get detention afterwards. You wanted to buy stuff at the vending machine as you spoke with your classmates.

But you’d chosen the life of someone who stayed inside.

And this choice had turned out to be the best one you’d made in your life when the news of a virus outbreak in your city, and in your former high school especially, had broke out. You were happy. Gleeful, really. You’d just escaped what could’ve been hell on Earth, while simply sitting peacefully at home. And with the ongoing crisis, you’d be excused for any homework and assignments you’d miss. So this was fine. It was even good!

Until you’d look away from your laptop screen and face reality again. You’d swallow thickly, frowning. The old name tag on your desk was something that usually brought you comfort, yet lately it did nothing but worry you.

Lee Cheongsan.

If the school was the epicenter of the virus, then he was in danger. Who knows, maybe he’d even turned already. The thought of your best friend… No, the person you loved turning into a zombie was unpleasant, to say the least. So much that every time it crossed your mind, you had to fight the impulsive urge to run out of your house and to the school. You didn’t live far from the school, so it would be fine. But still. It was careless and impulsive, so you always refrained.

But you were scared. And you missed him.

You missed the texts he would send you saying your empty seat in class made his heart ache in a dramatic way, before insulting you for saying he was dramatic. You missed his smile when you’d open the door every time he’d come to see you. You missed his hugs. The way he held your hand when you were anxious. You missed your childhood days with him, you missed the teenage ones that you’d barely had the chance to experience. You missed going to his family’s restaurant when he managed to get you to leave the house. You missed studying with him. You missed taking pictures with him that he’d purposefully try to make blurry. You missed him.

And after several days of zoning out entirely, loud knocking brought you out of that daze you were in. You were scared shitless, to say the least. Just a while ago you’d heard announcements about explosions that would happen around the city, and in the school in particular. You’d sat there, unmoving as the image of Cheongsan and your friends drenched in blood and dead on the ground plagued your anxious mind. You didn’t want to leave for the safe-place the military kept talking about. When they’d come to your house, you’d grabbed every belonging you’d used recently and ran straight to the basement, hiding there and staying as quiet as possible in hopes that they’d deem this house abandoned. Your safe place was obviously your house. So you would stay. You were almost certain the explosions wouldn’t reach it. And even if they did, so what?

You didn’t really… feel like living that much anymore. While you knew Cheongsan was someone who was strong and smart, you were still almost certain he could be dead. And you loved him. And he loved you. You both knew. So why would you want to live if the one you loved was dead?

The point was that irritatingly loud knocking brought you out of that train of thoughts. You picked up the knife on your table and carefully walked over to the door.

The military again? Maybe this time you should answer, you thought. But you couldn’t be sure. And you didn’t have a view on who was outside. You had to at least walk over there and—

“[name]!” a familiar voice yelled outside. And you froze, and dropped the knife. Because what else could you do? — “It’s me. It’s Cheongsan. Are you there?”

Then you ran and opened the door.

There he was. He looked exhausted. His features were painted with red, and one of his eyes was… weirdly bloody. The veins around it were prominent and visible, almost zombie-like. He was panting, a hand holding the side of your doorframe. You noticed that, besides the blood all over his clothes, a part of his sleeve was torn— Like someone, or something, had bit his arm.

You grabbed his collar and yanked him inside your house. You closed the door and locked it back to the way it was before, before turning around abruptly. “Cheongsan.”

“I’m… I can’t stay here.” he said, before opening his mouth but hesitating. He took a deep breath. “I was bitten by… Someone who’s kind of a zombie. But not really. I think I’ll turn soon.”

Then why did you come? you thought. You didn’t care. You didn’t care if he would turn while locked in the same room as you. Honestly, you’d prefer it if he turned with you around. So you could die together. But Cheongsan cared. He would never want to put you in this kind of danger. So why was he here?

Oh. You understood.

“I just wanted to say goodbye.” he said, and you knew. You felt your throat burn and noticed with how much difficulty he gulped. His eye was red, like he wanted to cry. You both wanted to cry. He didn’t wanna say goodbye. You wouldn’t let him say goodbye.

Before you could say anything, he grabbed the sides of your arms and pulled you towards him. He planted his lips on yours in a short, desperate kiss. You wanted it to last, you wanted it to last so long you’d die. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want him to say that he was sorry and he should leave. You didn’t want him to say he loved you like it was the last time he’d be able to. But he pulled away and looked at you, sad.

“I should leave. I’m sorry. I love you.”

It was Cheongsan. Of course he’d say it. You grabbed his wrist and held it tight. It was warm, his skin. Not much like a zombie, much more like him. You’d missed the feel of it. “You shouldn’t have come here.”

He looked away.

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m leaving, now.”

“No, you’re not.”

You suddenly moved towards the living room, pulling him along, before pulling him in front of you and holding him in place. “You’re not leaving this damn place, Lee Cheongsan.”

“No, I have to. [name], I’m gonna turn—”

“Does it look like I give a fuck? Look me in my eye and tell me if it looks like I fucking care, Cheongsan.” you said sternly, before coughing out a bitter laugh. “I’m selfish, so you’re staying. I haven’t seen you in way too long. I spent hours worrying about wether or not you were alive. Now that I know you are, I’ll spend all the time we have left with you. Zombie or not. You’re staying here.”

He must’ve felt there was no point in arguing, because he frowned, then sighed, and lowered his arms. He bit his lip and slowly nodded. There were tears at the corner of his eye. You glanced at the injured one and instinctively moved your gaze away.

“Doesn’t it hurt?”

“Kind of.”

You couldn’t help how upset your expression was in this moment. You didn’t like seeing him in pain. You were certain he’d gone through far worse pains during the time you weren’t in contact but it still made you worry. His hands twitched at his sides.

“I’m gonna turn.” he said quietly. You nodded, only bringing him closer. You wrapped your arms around his neck.

“Yeah.”

“I might kill you.”

“Uh-huh.”

“I don’t want to kill you.”

“Then you won’t.”

You weren’t pretending. You weren’t scared. You’d sort of given up on the idea of being scared of zombies, at this point. People themselves could be considered scarier, anyway. And this was the person closest to you. The person you’d put above everyone else. This was Lee Cheongsan. And maybe it was wishful thinking, but you strongly believed he wouldn’t hurt you. Or that at least, he wouldn’t kill you. You didn’t know how the virus worked, considering how little information you had access to, but if there was a way for him not to turn completely, it would happen. After all, he hadn’t told you he was bitten by an actual zombie. From what he said, it seemed like your theory was plausible, and that the boy could very well stay at least half human.

You felt his muscles twitch under your embrace, his back stretching and him wincing. His jaw was tense, as was every muscle in his body. He groaned in pain and you felt his hands grab the hem of your shirt and tighten around the fabric. He wanted to get away from you— You wouldn’t let him. His body contorted to the best of its ability while stuck in your arms, before falling completely limp against your hold. You lost balance due to the sudden shift in weight and fell on the floor with a yell.

It hurt your head and for a moment your attention was elsewhere, as you winced in pain. You huffed and looked up. The ceiling. Then you looked down. Under your chin, Cheongsan’s head. And… All over you… Well, Cheongsan. He was completely unmoving. His chest was on yours, yet you couldn’t feel his heartbeat. Your fingers touched the side of his neck.

His pulse was there. It was faint, but it was there. That was odd. From what you’d understood, the zombies invading your city were basically dead and the virus was what kept them on their feet. So why… Was he alive?

You stayed like this for a while. Maybe it was a minute, maybe ten. You couldn’t be sure, you’d kind of zoned out. But eventually, you felt him move. He groaned in pain, and then slowly pushed himself off the floor— and, well, you. He was breathing heavily. He was breathing. He looked down at you like he was confused. Otherwise… He looked perfectly fine.

“…[name].”

You didn’t reply. You didn’t need to. He was Cheongsan. There was no doubting it. He wasn’t some undead human-turned-zombie. He wasn’t like the ones you’d seen running in the forest while staring out the window before. He was Cheongsan, with the same gaze you knew.

Except he looked …Hungry. He gulped and panted a little.

“I really want to bite you.”

“Are you certain you haven’t seen anyone walk around there? Someone who looks human? There’s a group of zombies with… Human behavior. We’re looking for them.”

You sighed and leaned against your doorframe. “Listen, Officer. As it happens, I don’t spend my days staring out the window to check if zombies are crawling around. That’s your fucking job to do, not mine. I have studying to do, actually. Exams are coming up. And this is the third time you ask me. Could you tell your team to leave me the fuck alone when you go back? Thanks.”

The cop hesitated before closing his mouth and nodding. “Sorry. Thank you. Have a good day. And if you decide you want to come to the camp, you can contact us—”

“You as well!”

You closed the door with a slam and locked it (out of habit) before heaving a sigh. You were really annoyed, quite frankly. You did have to study, that was right. Since it had been a few months since the explosions in Hyosan, it was not surprising that you’d eventually received an email telling you school had resumed. So the incessant visits from police officers and the military weren’t exactly ideal. It seemed living in a remote area near a place that was literally bombed down, and not having done any effort to leave it or go to the safe zone was considered a bit odd, if not straight-up suspicious. It was understandable, if you were honest. But it didn’t make it any less irritating.

“It’s like you get less and less polite each time they come to ask you questions.” someone said behind you. You sighed and turned around, walking over to your desk and sitting down on the chair.

“Well, obviously.” you exhaled, stretching your arms in front of you. “I’m not exactly free.”

You looked over your shoulder to see Cheongsan leaning on the wall next to the hallway and smiling. You grinned and spun in your chair. “What?”

“Nothing. I’m just happy.”

“You’re an idiot.”

You turned back to your desk with a smile as Cheongsan cursed back at you. You heard him laugh and walk over to you, before wrapping his arms around your neck. He set his chin on top of your head and sighed in content.

“I’m gonna go out tonight. Namra told me the fixed dates for “that” were on the last fridays of each month.” he said quietly. You moved your head up right as he did and stared up at him, smiling. You pet the side of his face and he leaned into your palm, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Okay. Take care when you go out.” you said. He nodded.

“I will.”

You stared at him. He was pretty. He was happy. He was better, now. His wounds had healed, and he looked healthier and more well-rested. You stared at him long, and long enough for you to frown. You spun around in your chair to face him and extended your hand towards him. He instinctively leaned down towards you.

You fixed his eyepatch and tutted, shaking your head. “You look like Kaneki Ken, like this.”

He laughed and tilted his head. “Really? I must look pretty cool, then.”

“Yeah.” you sighed, scoffing a little as you leaned back on your chair. “You look like an idiot who selflessly puts others before himself and somehow pulls off cool shit without getting killed. You are pretty similar.”

He lightly hit your arm and laughed, while you smiled. You also have to eat the way he does, is something you both thought but didn’t say. Turns out, he never did bite you. He said he wanted to when he turned, but never did. He always managed not to. Even when you told him it was fine, that you didn’t mind if it helped him stay alive. But he never did. And eventually, he found alternatives— Thanks to Namra, partially. So it was okay.

Now you lived a life as odd as anyone else’s after this crisis. You lived in your remote little house in the forest, hiding your boyfriend-turned-half-zombie while studying for university entrance exams online. Things were weird, but things were good. You preferred them that way. During the past few months, Cheongsan had told you all about what happened at the school. He’d told you about how he wanted to text you the moment everything went down but he was in the cafeteria and his phone wasn’t with him. He told you about everytime he almost died, and every time one of your friends did. He told you he saw him mom. He told you about Onjo’s dad. He told you why he was injured. He told you, because he needed to tell you. He told you because he needed you to know the reason he wanted to cry. And he cried, and so did you. It felt as painful as it felt relieving. Now you knew about what had went down, but you also knew about the deaths of people you loved and cared about. That was a harsh and cold reality that made you cry despite your preparation for it. Nothing could make you emotionless enough not to react to that. Maybe that was a good thing, but it hurt.

During all that time, you got him new clothes. The bloody uniform was getting a little old. Despite the memories it held, he refused to throw it away. You understood. Maybe it was because it held that many memories that he wanted to keep it. So it sat quietly in the middle of his clothes.

He got an eyepatch, too, to cover the scar. He kept going on about how cool he looked and you’d always insult him in return. He couldn’t even put it right, this idiot. It got you smiling.

You and Cheongsan had always loved each other. He’d finally told you when your last day at school came around, giving you his nametag as he cleared his throat and tried to confess. So you gave him yours and only grinned as you left the school. You texted a lot before everything happened. You’d only then realized how lonely you felt without his texts and calls. Your friend texted you too, before. But… Things happened.

Cheongsan asked you out, too. You thought it was dumb, and that you two were practically already dating at this point, anyway. He insisted. So you said yes. It was nice to think about. Cheongsan’s my boyfriend, you’d think, then smile like an idiot. It wasn’t so bad to make it official.

Cheongsan was alright, and so were you. That was all that mattered. Things were okay.

#lee cheongsan x reader #cheongsan x reader #lee cheong san x reader #cheong san x reader #all of us are dead x reader #aouad x reader #x reader

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