#cherub au sun

[tmuse-ac]

Did another palette challenge. WOah no wAy! :0

While I do like the palette, I don't the drawing works with it. The original palette is on the left, while a hue shift is on the right. I was just playing with hues and I really liked how the blues went with the maroon colors.

Any-who, the Cherub AU (which I am dying for more stuff of) is by the lovely @starrspice , whose art is amazing, and you should go see it if you haven't. Hope you don't mind that I added a few things! :D

[starrspice]

Uh, I think you broke him

[darkwingswarrior]

Cherub Sun! ( @starrspice ‘s AU)

[ohno-the-sun]

Little comic about @starrspice cherub au

I like their human designs a whole awful lot

[outlandishscenarios]

Second post. I really fell in love with cherub y/n design, and the sun doodle of him blowing the letter inspired the pose and butterfly effect of it, breaking apart to butterflies messengers maybe hope that makes sense.

Cherub y/n, moon, and sun belong to @starrspice

Here's the a bonus doodle

Pov, they looked over and were smitten.

[remidraws]

I could not get @starrspice cherub AU out of my head and had to draw them! I absolutely love the AU and the designs are so cute

[haileebobailee]

Karaoke Night with your favorite cherubs?

this lovely cherub au by @starrspice!

[luveline]

Hi! I just read Prince steve's shot of the steampunk au and god, I loved it. I saw below it said you could make a request for it, so I wanted to know if you could do one about the how they met. I know it's mentioned, but I'd like to see what it was like at the time, if it's not too much trouble.

PS: qmo how you write, you are one of my role models 💕.

prince!steve au ♡ fem, 1.1k

Young people stand like dominoes in the sun, teetering, waiting to topple in on one another if given reason. Nine days of bated breath, the city waits in a ramping anticipation for Prince Steven to meet his soulmate.

You're almost hoping it isn't you so you can go home and rest your aching legs. Hours in the warm summer air, your worst dress sticking to the back of your clammy knees. You're not fit to meet the Prince. But… if you meet the Prince, and you were to somehow be his soulmate, you'd live an easy life. 

You'd live in a Palace, wear the finest clothes, eat the nicest foods (three times a day!). You could spend your days lounging under crystal chandeliers eating plates of fruit and expensive cheeses, air-conditioned and always smelling of vanilla, or sandalwood, or saffron. You've never tried saffron perfume, but it's the most expensive at the apothecary. 

The line mills shorter. You follow close to the heels of a girl dressed in better finery, a cherry red dress that looks like it's made of thin sheets of glass, her dark hair coiled in sweet cherubic curls at the back of her neck. They bounce with every step you take closer to the pedestal. You attach your attention to them, following the winding twist of them to the root over and over. 

You want very badly to be the Prince's soulmate. You'd be stupid not to want such luxury. But letting yourself believe that it's you out of the tens of thousands of eligible young people is asking to feel disheartened.

You convince yourself for the millionth time that it's not you as you follow the line inside of the royal gardens. Trees with weeping branches arc inward, their leaves kissing and sunlight dappled onto the people below. You feel it warming your skin as you take the final stretch. 

Apparently, for the King's soulmate search, he simply held out his arm and let women touch the inside of his palm with their pinky finger. He did this for two days. Prince Steven's search is taking much longer, as he's insisted on greeting and shaking the hands of everyone who's presented themselves. 

You wonder what that might feel like. He's a super pretty man, with exactly the sort of smile a Prince might hope to have. Whenever you see him on the holo screens you feel sick, wanting desperately to remain indifferent to him, but knowing you're just like every other silly young person in the kingdom. You want to be a special perfect royal. You want to take his hand and leave behind your disappointing life. 

Too bad it's a fantasy. 

"Next, please," says a young woman with red hair, looking at you pointedly. 

You bite your bottom lip between your teeth and walk determined to the top of the garden. Up three gentle steps and into a Palace of white, pearly stone. There's a long corridor lined with guards who eye you as you draw in. Deemed decidedly undangerous, they let you pass into a makeshift reception. You'd already had your name taken to be allowed in the line; nothing stands in your way of the Prince but chiffon pink curtains that shine like rose honey in the sun and a surprisingly small girl with a sword. 

And there, among an audience of officials and important people, sits the Prince. He looks smaller than you imagined, a little tired. The girl with the sword kicks his shin and he perks up, to the ire of the older members of his court. 

"Hey," he calls, "don't be shy! And don't be slow, either. Please. I missed dinner last night–" The girl clears her throat. Prince Steven takes on a more princely effect. "Please, come in." 

The audience isn't exactly paying attention. Any hope they had for a soul mate today has seemingly passed, and you can hear a few poorly muffled scoffs at your appearance. Surely the girl before you posed a more pleasing possibility. She looked like a princess. 

You stall a few paces from him. 

He frowns at you. In his garb, his neat clothes, a heavy platinum crown atop his head, he's strangely intimidating. You assumed he'd feel more familiar up close, like buying a gemstone from the catalogues and finding they've sent you zirconium, but it's the opposite. 

"Are you okay?" the girl asks. 

"She's fine," Prince Steven says, standing up from his ornate chair. He steps down from the short platform, even his steps a princely brand of perfection. "Well you're more than fine," he says to you, and you gather from the get go that he's not flirting with you, only joking to ease your nerves. 

He offers his hand. 

You take in a breath and approach him with measured steps. Being run through by his personal guards crystal sword isn't on your agenda this week. 

All you have to do is touch his hand and go home when nothing happens. You're nervous, but stalling any longer prolongs the awkwardness you've created. 

You step forward. 

Before your fingers can touch his palm, the feathered lines curled around your opposite wrists begin to glow. 

A silence falls. 

You take your hand back but the light doesn't fade. It's white, nearly cream in colour, with the density of fog but none of its cold. Prince Steven's eyes are wide and awash, the sun-kissed skin of his arm paled. "You–" he says, stepping forward again. 

You take his hand. You have to know. 

White light sears and then blooms, like petals unfurling, the source of it indistinguishable from your wrist or his. And then, when you're sure your heart might fall out of your mouth, the light dims. What remains is thin as fairy floss wrapped around your skin and his. 

He rubs the meat of your thumb with the tip of his, and that light glows soft pink, like flower jam. 

"It's you," he says. He sounds happy, as though you were a pleasant surprise. 

You tuck your hand behind your back, and the glow remains. It's you. You're Prince Steven's soul mate. 

"She doesn't look much like a princess," someone whispers. 

"I wouldn't say that," Prince Steven says, his eyes roving over you without apology. His smile is as authentic as they come. "I think you'd better meet my mother." 

"Now?" you ask. 

"Afraid so. Don't worry, though, you look pretty." He offers his hand again. "Come on."

He's a prince. You take his hand.

[starrspice]

They'll keep you dry and warm

Rain or Shine

[asteroshearts]

Costco

Dad!Levi x Mom!Reader

Domestic AU, Modern AU, pure fluff, unnamed young son

Oh, the skip in your step couldn't be contained as you sauntered down to your car, basked in the sun, and dancing in the rays.

You had gotten everything that you needed (and wanted) today at one of your favorite places in the world: Costco Warehouse.

The groceries for the week? Obtained. The random sherpa throw pillow? One and done. Levi's wine, your spontaneous cheeses, tins of tea. You and your son gorged on every sample available until your bellies were full enough for your husband to nearly roll you back to the car.

The wheels of the shopping cart gently rolled to a stop, careful of the precious package you had in there, as Levi wordlessly met eyes with you. Without another sound, you nodded and ducked in the car, swiftly making sure the baby seat was ready. The second you broke away from your two boys, your son perked up immediately from his sleepy state, swiveling his head back and forth and gurgling slightly in his grogginess. Sensing your son's impending panic from not being about to sight you from his seat in the shopping cart, Levi absentmindedly began to rub his knuckles up and down his baby's stomach to soothe him.

"Aw, come here, baby," you cooed, taking your sleepy baby from out of the cart while your husband loaded the trunk. Tiny hands wound against your neck immediately and you tugged your son closer. "That was some yummy food, huh? Are you feeling the food coma yet?" Pressing his face against your neck, you felt his single nod.

Silent, but a listener, just like his father.

"Yea?" You placed him down gently as you began to buckle him in. "I think the meatballs were my favorite." Click. Zip. Pull. "If they're on sale next week maybe we can ask your papa to make them with spaghetti." Tugging on his seat belt straps once more to make sure he was secure, you began to pull away to help Levi bring in your purchases, only to be stopped by a single tiny hand pulling on your sleeve.

"Huh?" Eyes matching his blinked widely.

"Mama..." he started out slowly. His wide eyes twinkled with stars. "The chickie is hot, can I eat?" He emphasized his words with a couple more tugs to your sleeve, pointing a single finger at his mouth as he went ahhh silently.

"Aw, yea, that's what you were most excited about!" You beamed and wiggled your fingers at him, smiling widely. Of course: the famous Costco rotisserie chicken.

You had such a patient and quiet child, such a mama's boy, Levi remarked with a playful roll of his eyes. Your son was never difficult to handle and would always follow you around like a little duckling. Normally, he'd just tag along with you as you went down the aisles of Costco, a single hand on your skirt as he hovered around your legs.

But today was different. Today he had taken a hold of your hand without a single word and he was the one leading you. He dragged you to the back of the store where the rotisserie was, much to Levi’s amusement as he pulled the cart along behind you. Your son was a man on a mission, eyes gleaming with determination. He tugged on your skirt twice and pointed one tiny pudgy finger at the row of chicken trays in front of you.

You son even knew the tricks: the ins and outs. When you cooed and reached out to grab a tray, your son stopped you, shaking his head before pointing at all of the other people waiting around you. Your son even knew to wait for the next round of fresh chicken to be placed out.

You and Levi sure had a field day giggling at that, watching your son's back as he looked in awe at the employee behind the counter, muttering about how well he was doing with his first real grocery run.

That little runt was growing up, Levi thought wistfully. His fingers twisted around yours. The beautiful son you two created was really becoming a big boy.

But now, despite how cute your son was, despite his cherubic cheeks, and his open lips, and the twinkle in his eyes, you knew one thing: there was no way in hell Levi was going to let a toddler eat in his new car.

After all, even back in your college days, when Levi's car was a decade old Renault that he picked up for less than 1K, your then-boyfriend would raise hell at the mere mention of eating inside his beat-up trash heap. Even when you two picked up a McDonald's at 3AM, one glare made you think twice about eating a single fry before you left the car.

Levi, your high maintenance husband, made you wince sadly at the thought of saying no to your son as he stared expectantly at you.

"Do you mean you want to eat it when you get back home?"

A shake of his head. "Now, Mama." Oh, this was going to be difficult, wasn't it?

"Aw, I'm sorry, baby, but I don't know if Papa would — "

"That's fine."

What?

You head snapped to the other side of the car, jaw dropping as Levi opened up the adjacent door. You stared in a stunned stupor. What??

"Just a small piece," Levi told your son. "Then you can have more when we get home, hm?"

You were speechless, even as your baby fluttered his legs under the confines of the baby seat and nodded happily as a large smile stretched his chubby cheeks.

The sound of the chicken container being opened broke you out of your reverie, filling the car with the smell of rotisserie and surrounding your son's view with the beautifully brown chicken skin. Even now you couldn't say a word as Levi wiped his hands down with a baby wipe, drying his hands before easily ripping out a strip of chicken and wrapping it in a napkin.

"Careful, okay? It's hot."

Nodding furiously, your son reached out excitedly and quickly took a bite as Levi fed him. Pudgy cheeks let out humorous puffs of air to "cool down" his chicken. Although his mouth was too full to let out gasps of awe and hums of deliciousness, one look at his swinging tubby legs underneath his onesie told you just how over the moon he was.

Snapping the container shut, Levi wiped his hands again before making his way to the driver seat, all as your dropped jaw and speechless expression followed every step he made.

"What?" your husband asked, glancing at your aghast expression from the corner of his eye. Putting the car in reverse, he began the ride back home.

"You're such a — You're such a — !"

A pushover.

A softie.

A great dad.

Playfully huffing, you pouted and puffed out your cheeks, turning in the passenger seat and crossing your arms.

"You know I remember when I was twenty-one, I said I was going to have a fry and before I could even put it in my mouth you pulled over so fast," you recalled, fake-glaring at your husband, watching his side profile as he focused on the road, observing the sleeves of his jacket fall down to expose the dainty bone and curve of his wrist. "You took me outside and said we're going to be eating on the curb if I was going to be impatient."

"And now look at you — you're letting a toddler have rotisserie chicken in the backseat. You love your son more than me, the mother of your child?" You finished by fluttering your eyelashes. Of course this was all jokes, you both knew Levi's heart was more than big enough for his son and the love of his life, the most beautiful woman he had ever laid eyes on.

Scoffing, he only flashed his grey eyes at your briefly before turning at the curb. "Don't be ridiculous. We know any toddler with my genes would be leaps and bounds cleaner than you."

Gasping playfully at the smirk he pulled, eyes twinkling with mirth, you batted playfully at his thigh.

"So — " Bat. " Freaking — " Bat. "Rude — !" Bat.

"Brat, that hurts." Yeah, right.

Barely containing his soft chuckles, you attempted to dodge away from his right hand as it tried to grab yours, quickly waving his attempts away before Levi's hand shot forward. His fingers wrapped around yours, trapping your arm before he linked his fingers with your own. When you tried to pull away, he let you go, but only replaced the space on his palm with your thigh pressed against the white seats. You waited for the heat to crawl up your face as he gently rubbed your thigh and soothingly rubbed it up and down.

"Baby, can you believe this?" you cried dramatically, turning in your seat to try and face your son. "Your papa is so mean to me!"

Finishing with the final bite of his chicken, your son blinked owlishly at you, completely deaf to the conversation his parents were having.

Holding out the empty napkin in both hands, your son gave a dopey smile to the back of Levi's seat. "Papa, I'm done!"

Exhaling softly, the tiniest of smiles appeared at the corner of his lip as he turned into your driveway. "Good job," he whispered, just as subtly. You took the soiled napkin from your son's hands and wiped his fingers clean before tossing the paper in the bin.

"More?" Your son's lashes were going to be long like Levi's and now they fluttered as he blinked. Then, remembering his manners, he beamed so hard that the fat of his cheeks nearly eclipsed his eyes. "Please, Papa!"

"Sure," Levi declared softly. Unbuckling his seatbelt, your husband went around the car to grab his son from out of his baby seat. "Whatever you want."

[landoffreaksandfrogs]

I'm a cherubhead so I HAVE to hear what you did to them in the swap au. is caliborn still a turdburger but completely ineffectual now? did calliope girlboss too close to the sun? etc etc

so im definitely going to keep the themes of the cherubs characters, i.e. representing the fandom, but kind of like, theyre still not necessarily not still the things that they are.

caliborn is now the fandom's passion, but also somewhat their...all-encompassing presence in the early fandom days. constant bucket jokes, "let me tell you about homestuck," the fake stories where the cop read homestuck, their presence at cons. its passion! its a positive reaction to homestuck, but its kind of overwhelming and is "cringe." caliborn kind of struggles to treat the alpha kids as...other people, rather than characters. but he...DOES want to kind of push everyone into a "happy ending" and have everyone he ships to HOLD HANDS ALREADY.

on the opposite side, calliope represents fandom antipathy and criticism. shes always questioning WHY certain "writing choices" were made, even if in-universe these writing choices are simply. choices. that the characters around her made. deeply critical and humiliated by her brothers antics, her goal is not to destroy homestuck, but to make something *better* from its ashes. shes kind of like. the shame ex-homestucks feel. the thing with swap!calliope is that you do still sympathize with her on some level. shes frustrated and just *sad* that she cant let the story go. on some levels shes similar to alt!callie from canon, just angrier.

her "lord english" form (name pending) is a combination of AM (janes autoresponder), aradia, herself, and one other female troll who i havent decided yet.

[outlandishscenarios]

Okay there be two post cause one was more recent then the other. Have at thee cherub fan art. Forgive the extremely late valentines art. The art was for valentines day

These special beans belong to @starrspice

[meraki-sunset]

There's still one thing I don't understand about the concept of an absolved timeline: as alt!Calliope explained, this is a timeline whose relevance is fed from the canon, or in other words, us readers who came from the original homestuck in search of a new story. But in a completely technical standpoint the alpha timeline exist because there is no other timeline that end up creating LE, whose influence reaches far before time ever existed, and thus needs to be created to complete the biggest time loop ever existed in the history of paradox space. This timeline however, fail this exact condition on account of Gamzee regain his autonomy from LE, thus giving him no reason to remain in the battle against Caliborn, if he even raised the cherubs in the first place. So without this event, and subsequently possessed lil cal->doc scratch ->Lord English, how is this timeline not doomed 100 times and back?

What you're saying is true. According to canon, no timeline exept the alpha can exist. only homestuck canon can exist and every other timeline with even the slight variation will get doomed and everyone in it die without fail. Period. No point in arguing.

I say that's stupid and i don't like it.

SO i'm making use of what i call "the pesterquest dinamic"

Spoiler alert

In pesterquest MSPAReader, after meeting the homestuck cast and learning about their horrible fate to come, basically says "fuck you this is my timeline now" and dives into the Green sun and absorves it's powers, becoming a guardian, like Beckerel and Doc Scratch

With this power they sever the timeline they've intervined into from canon logic.

They create a "Locked timeline". a Timeline that doesn't have to create Lord English. It needs to, it should, the things that happen in the homestuck timeline are part of a big infinite loop that must create him and can't be tampered with or it will result in doom. But that's the thing with loops, they don't have a begining or end. any part of it that you sever can be the begining, the middle or the end

What i'm trying to say is, time in homestuck isn't linear, it doesn't follow the logic that changing something in the past should change the future. it doesn't it just marks the timeline as doomed when something is changed and that's the end. just a cross in the clipboard and fate moves to the next timeline leaving that one to rot

So grabing a timeline, severing a chunk of it (like the period where the kids and trolls haven't played the game), changing it for the better and letting it survive by external means is posible acording to Pesterquest.

Just imagine this. if a homestuck timeline is a book, and you rip a page, does the book change? did you changed the past? do the future events of the book change because tecnically the events of the page you ripped are no longer part of the book? No, the book follows it course. it just became a useless book. A broken book. It's now a doomed timeline. It can't no longer fullfill it's purpose. it'll be disposed of. That's how homestuck timelines it works.

That's why i always refer to CSAU as "infested with paradoxes" and "leaching from the canon timeline" because i know it shouldn't exist acording to canon. acording to canon it should be doomed.

But it's not. Because every little thing that CSAU lacks, every page that has been riped, that should doom it, CSAU steals it from canon homestuck

That's what i tryed to explain with "the river and the puddle" analogy. The puddle doesn't dry because it feeds from the river. CSAU doesn't get doomed because it leaches from homestuck.

How did The Felt get to the game in CSAU? The Felt are LE's minions and acording to canon before they got to the game they were at hussies mansion, where LE killed Hussie, and then Jack escaped with them and Ms. Paint inside of an oven and into the Alpha kid's game. That never happened in CSAU, that event of LE breaking into Hussies mansion with his minions and killing him never happened in this AU, yet the characters from it are here, with memories of it happening. they remember it happening tho it didn't. That's because they're copies, they're stolen from canon.

CSAU steals it's missing pieces from canon to stay alive, like a parasite, a harmless one in a comensalistic relationship. Canon doesn't even know we're here.

And the guardian who keeps the timeline safe, the force that gives it relevance for it to keep doing what it does and keep feeding from the river, who keeps the puddle's tiny stream of water that conects it to the river from being severed, It's us. It's you and It's me. CSAU is relevant to us for diferent reasons for every person, but that's why it exists. Because it's important to me and maybe to you and that's all tha matters. Canon it's it's sourse of missing pieces with which patches it's paradoxes and we are it's sourse of relevance. That's what makes an absolved timeline, that's all it takes.

A will to survive and people to care.

I hope there's more timelines like this one out there

[rosemarymonths]

Introducing a full October of rosemary!! (Oct. 1st - 31st)

You can submit fanart, fics, cosplays, etc for any prompts!! Late submissions are also perfectly valid. The calendar + cover were designed by ilovedogboys on twitter & tumblr!

Prompts:

Day 1: Dating

How do you think post retcon Rosemary’s date went? Or what do you think happened right after their first drunken kiss in pre retcon?? Or what do YOU think Rose and Kanaya should have done on their first date?

Day 2: Aspects

Light and Space, it’s self explanatory.

Day 3: Cats

Girls with cats!!

Day 4: Moths

Girls with moths!! Or maybe it’s a mothman au?

Day 5: Video Games / Movies

Lesbian gaming time or watching bad vampire movies? You decide!

Day 6: Books

Rose and Kanaya sure do love to read! What are they reading though while they’re being all coy and shy with each other??

Day 7: Addictions/Insecurities

Rose’s liquor issue, Kanaya’s uncontrollable thirst for blood, and their individual insecurities is the feelings jam for today.

Day 8: Warrior Cats

I made a threat that if I was in charge of rosemary month, I would make warrior cats a whole prompt. Are they feral fantasy cats, or maybe 10 year olds larping on the black top?

Day 9: Meteorstuck

What did Rose and Kanaya get up to on the meteor?? Did Dave third wheel like a clingy child and not leave an ounce of alone time for them?

Day 10: AUs

Choose your favorite AUs!!

Day 11: Meeting the Guardians

Rose and Kanaya meet each other’s parents!! How’d it go?

Day 12: Jasprose Love Day

A whole day dedicated to Jasprose being a pesky, pesky sweet catgirl and bugging Rose and Kanaya endlessly.

Day 13: Trickster

Rose somehow comes into contact with cherub drugs, oh boy!

Day 14: Family

Got any rosemary fankids on Earth C? The most happiest ending, after all, is just Rose, Kanaya, and their fat baby.

Day 15: Sadstuck

What depressing scenario are you cooking up for Rose and Kanaya this day? Remember Game Over??

These two sure do go through a lot together.

Day 16: Spring

Lesbians going through seasonal changes!! What are Rose and Kanaya doing during Spring?

Day 17: Summer

What summery activities are Rose and Kanaya up to?

Day 18: Fall

The most comfiest season of them all, what adorable things are Rose and Kanaya during Fall?? Playing in the dead leaves??

Day 19: Winter

Rose and Kanaya surviving through winter; are they out in the snow or bundled up inside their house?

Day 20: Earth / Alternia

All about Rose and Kanaya’s childhoods.

Day 21: Grimdark/Rainbow Drinker

The parallels of their grief fueled rages, their skin tones swapping, the fact they both got hit in the same spot!!

Day 22: Dreambubbles

Dead girlfriends get to reunite once again, as they should!

Day 23: Star-Crossed Lovers

Remember that time Karkat forbid sloppy interspecies makeouts??

Day 24: Fashion

Lesbians in some swanky outfits ohh yeahh.

Day 25: Rosemary Kiss Anniversary!!

The rosemary kiss panel is 10 years old!! Redraw to celebrate it!

Day 26: Wedding

Rose and Kanaya get married!!

Day 27: Honeymoon

What are they doing for their honeymoon?? Hopefully not causing any chaos.

Day 28: Rain / Sun

Maybe they’re going through weathers on Earth C?? Or perhaps we can talk about the contrasting weather between their home lives! Kanaya is awfully associated with the sun, and Rose could be linked with the rain. Either way, do something with rain or the sun!

Day 29: Double Date

Who are Rose and Kanaya going on a double date with?

Day 30: Lilith In Starlight

Let’s take a moment to remember that amazing rosemary song.

Day 31: Halloween!!

Rose and Kanaya celebrate Halloween!! What costumes are they wearing? Are they passing out candy? Going to halloween parties? Or maybe taking their child(ren) out for the night?? Or maybe they’re going trick or treating as a date, who knows!! Thank you for participating in rosemary month!!

Specific tags I’ll be tracking are: #rosemarymonth , #rosemarymonth2022

You can also @ this account to make sure! If you have any questions, the inbox is open. Happy rosemary month!!

[my-own-walker]

Someone You've Never Seen Before

A Kyle Spencer Fan Fiction

frat!kyle AU, fem!main character, sexual themes, mature language, use of drugs and alcohol, frat boy antics

10.

Summer had officially taken her last bow. I felt genuinely chilly standing outside the KLG house on Sunday morning. The mid-morning sun shone just barely through the large willow tree in the front yard, the branches preventing it from sharing its warmth with me. The dress, sheer tights, and cardigan I wore did nothing to insulate me, either. I checked the time on my phone. 10:27 am.

We agreed to meet at 10:30, but of course, I was early. I felt rather foolish for waiting the way I was, trying too hard not to stare at the house expectantly. In an attempt to look disinterested, I placed headphones in my ears, putting my playlist on shuffle. I turned to face the street, rather than the yard, and a Two Door Cinema Club song began to play.

"There's a spanner in the works, you know."

Boy, was that the truth. Hannah, the perpetual spanner in the works, standing in the way of herself. 

The hours leading up to the date, from Thursday night until Sunday at 10:27, well, now 10:28 am, I went back and forth with myself. Contemplating every damn aspect of the meetup. Was it a joke? Was he out to get me? I didn't actually develop feelings for a frat guy, did I? The part of myself that was obsessed with my own morals and hatred toward all things Greek life died a little when I thought too hard about it all.

The spanner in the works. Standing in the way of myself, preventing things from happening smoothly, ever. 

My ego wouldn't even let me tell Lily about this. My best friend. The girl I told everything. Part of me felt anti-woman for not gossiping, giggling, and kicking my feet with my friend over this. Instead, I internalized it all. I kept the dismay in. A burden shared is a burden halved, but I refused to look weak. 

Life has a way of falling into place. Things have a way of working out. For everyone. Everyone except me and the people around me. The events that are supposed to go off without a hitch like a well-oiled machine come sputtering to an awkward stop on account of me. The spanner in the works. Hannah the spanner.

Someone tapped my shoulder. I jumped and spun around, tearing an earbud out of my ear, jostled free from the grip of my thoughts.

"Hey," Kyle breathed, smiling. He panted slightly, making clear that he had jogged to me from the door. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I laughed, grabbing his arm for stability, hinging at the hips slightly. "Christ, I was miles away," I managed. I started walking in the direction of Sleepwalker Coffee Co. (my choice, clearly), still holding onto Kyle. He followed suit.

"What were you thinking about?" he inquired, looking down and sideways at me with a smirk on his rosy face. The cherubic expression made my stomach turn.

"Do you want the honest answer?"

"Nothing but."

I let the silence drag on for a moment as we walked along, the sun finally peeking through the trees enough to warm my bones. I dropped my arm back down to my side, no longer holding on to Kyle. 

"Music," I replied, simply. A small lie, but I was at least listening to music. That made it partly honest.

"Anything about music in particular?" Kyle pressed. "Or just the complex, vast theory of sound itself?" His tone dripped with sarcasm, which I'll admit, got a pretty hearty laugh out of me.

"I guess, but I can't remember," I lied again. We rounded the corner at the end of the street, turning onto the street the coffee shop was on. We had just a few more blocks to walk to get there.

"Well, okay," he sighed, redirecting. "What's your favorite song, then?"

"Oh, you can't ask that!" I exclaimed, pausing my stride to look him in the eyes. "How can I boil it down to just one song? That's cruel."

"I can tell you mine, it's easy." Kyle kicked a small rock and it skittered across the pavement, landing in the street. He definitely would have continued kicking it down the street had it not landed too far out of his way.

"Oh yeah?" I challenged. "What is it, then?"

"Just tell me one song you like, and I'll tell you," he bargained.

"You're unreal," I chuckled, continuing to walk. "I like Sweet Jane. Velvet Underground. I don't know." My replies felt really flippant coming out of my mouth, but I couldn't help it. Part of me still disliked him, or maybe, wanted to seem cool.

"Ooh," he cooed, jogging slightly to catch up to me on the sidewalk. "Sweet Jaaaaane," he sang grabbing my hand and lacing his fingers with mine. 

"Ah, so you know it then," I laughed, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. Suddenly all too aware that the two of us were holding hands, I took stock. It was slightly rough but strong. His fingers were long and laced between mine like vines woven around themselves. 

"I know it well," he smiled. "I love Lonesome Cowboy Bill. The Velvet Underground are so good."

"I don't think I know that one," I said, noticing that we were coming upon the coffee shop. I stopped right next to the stairs leading up to the door, effectively blocking his path. "Now you have to tell me your favorite song. Of all time. Since you can pick one."

His expression brightened. He drew his bottom lip between his teeth and smiled slightly, eyes twinkling with precious delight. "Oh! You Pretty Things. David Bowie," he grinned. My stomach lurched. 

"You like David Bowie?" I asked, with a bit too much giddy excitement in my tone.

"Yes, he's only like, my favorite artist," he answered. 

"We have a LOT in common," I gushed, grabbing his arm. He looked down at the small touch for a beat, then snaked an arm around my shoulder to guide me inside the shop.

+

We spoke about everything under the sun over the course of a few hours and a couple of coffees. I was so entranced by him that I actually let my drink get cold, rendering it undrinkable when I finally remembered its existence. 

Not only did we have music tastes in common, but we also shared a lot of the same tastes in film and food. I, being less experienced in the realm of movie-watching, though, agreed to let him show me a few of his favorite films. In fact, we headed straight back to his house afterward to watch one of said movies. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but Kyle had proven himself trustworthy of not trying any funny business. Even still, I couldn't quiet the thoughts of him possibly thinking I was weird, or worse, that I might be falling for him.

All of those thoughts were silenced, though, when he closed the door to his room behind him. It felt different this time. I wasn't there out of pure obligation or drunken irresponsibility. This time, I wanted to be there.

"Which one did I say we were watching, again?" Kyle asked, crossing the room over to the TV, switching it on using the button on the side. He slid a small basket out of the stand and pulled out a disc binder full of movies. I flopped down onto the sofa, crossing my legs. 

"Wow, you're serious about film," I laughed, kicking myself for how stupid the sentence sounded as soon as it left my mouth. "You said Catch Me If You Can, I'm pretty sure."

"Right, right," he murmured, flipping the binder open, letting the left side land on the ground with a loud thump. He thumbed through the discs, the casings making a plasticky crinkling sound as they moved. "Wait, I totally forgot about this one."

"Which one?"

"The Lost Boys. You seen it?" he asked, an excited tone creeping in.

"Yes! But I will happily watch it again, Kyle," I exclaimed. "Tis the season, right? Vampires and fall go hand in hand."

He slid the disc out of the casing and threw it in the DVD player, then crossed the room to join me on the couch. He sat close, but not too close, and used the remote to start the film. The space between us felt like a canyon. In the silence waiting for the movie to start, it was so quiet, it was hard to tell if I was alive. 

The feeling came out of nowhere, knocking me in the stomach and making it hard to breathe. As if, all at once, smoke filled the room and replaced all the clean air with a stifling smog. I needed to come up for air, and the only way I figured I could was in the safety of Kyle's touch. It was a sudden and intense thirst.

I couldn't even focus on the movie. I couldn't focus on anything. I couldn't even breathe. The only movement I could rally was one of my eyes, letting them dart to the side to look at Kyle in my periphery. I had never known anything like it. Just complete paralysis at the hands of an indescribable need. A need for him and only him to simply touch me.

His hand twitched on his knee. I watched him shift out of the corner of my eye. I don't think I had taken a full breath since he sat down next to me. Then, he spoke.

"Hannah," he rasped. My name sounded so beautiful coming from his lips. I turned to face him and without delay his lips were on mine. I froze, unsure if it was real life. Unsure if he was actually kissing me. Unsure if I was actually enjoying it. But in an instant, I could breathe again. I could fill my lungs with fresh, new air that made me dizzy. I relaxed into him.

He stopped. "Wait, Hannah, is this oka-" he whispered, interrupted by my mouth reconnecting with his. My hand felt its way up to his hair, my fingers lacing tightly in his blonde curls. I slid closer to him and paused, looking him deeply in his eyes before continuing.

His breaths came out ragged and loud between kisses. Our foreheads rested together. My hand moved down from his hair to his chest. I could feel his heart positively racing beneath my palm. He snaked his arms around my waist and pulled me closer, if that was even possible. I was practically sitting in his lap. I drank in the moment so furiously I felt I might drown. 

I felt like I was on fire. Like someone had set a slow and steady match beneath my center, deep in the pit of my stomach.

What the fuck are you doing? What the fuck is happening? my brain screamed, but my heart wanted more, and I wouldn't let cerebral obstacles prevent me from continuing to be that close to him.

He reached up and cupped the side of my face in his palm, deepening the kisses to something more, his tongue creeping its way inside my mouth. The warmth of the contact spread throughout my entire body, rendering me almost drunk. Kyle consumed my senses. 

I pulled away. Both of us sat there, breathless, staring into each other's eyes. The movie played quietly in the background. My heart beat so hard I was sure he could hear it.

"Wow," he panted, placing a hand over mine, which was still resting on his chest. A flush crept across my cheeks. "Was that real?"

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