#chiefest and greatest calamity

[husbandomail]

Look at the "Christmas gift" I got myself

My coworker was bottle feeding kittens because their mom is feral and I accidently fell in love with one. I mean, come on, look at how she looked at me

I just couldn't say no. I told myself no more cats. I have enough, but then she looked at me with her eyes and I knew I was screwed

Look at how nicely she sits on my shoulder while I work. The Universe told me I had to have her

SHE'S SO CUTE HOLY SHIT I'M OBSESSED

HAVE YOU NAMED HER YET

[husbandomail-archive]

Enjoy these photos of my cat

He loves to cuddle

OHHHHHHH MY GOD HE'S SO CUTE DFHJMK,JHGFDS

[haaaaaaaaaaaave-you-met-ted]

Smaug Fanart by Benjamin Sjöberg

[skxrbrand]

So I'm re-watching the Hobbit Trilogy and I can't help but notice that Smaug is probably a good VC for ol' Khadeneth here~

[louisetaylor]

I wonder when/how he saw examples of this happening in real life...perhaps it was his in-laws' reaction when he yoinked Edith away from them to marry her? I don't remember the story that well

Idk but I always wonder about the parts of an author's real life and experience that went into making a story

Tolkien is 1000% done.

[dartxo]

"Vhagar VS Smaug"

2024

Looking to add to his immense treasure, Smaug descends with fire and death on Casterly Rock, to plunder the fabled wealth of House Lannister for himself. But the Lannisters aren't completely abandoned. For out of the skies comes their ally, Prince Aemond Targaryen upon Vhagar. Smaug hasn't had a challenge like this in centuries. He eagerly rises up to meet them, in what will surely be the ultimate Dance of the Dragons. 

.

The production team for House of the Dragon puts Vhagar's size as 90 meters long, with a 150 meter wingspan. At 130 meters, Smaug is longer, but his 110 meter wingspan is smaller than Vhagar's. Vhagar also has a bulkier, more robust body as opposed to Smaug's long and serpentine frame. Smaug is older, but he isn't really affected by age as Vhagar is; he is much more agile and nimble in both land and air. The dragons of Middle-earth can also cast spells with their gaze, and to quote George R.R. Martin, they, like, talk. All in all, I'd say Smaug, Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities, outmatches Granny Vhagar in almost every way. But it would be a terrific fight nonetheless.

[joshthemaker913]

The Lunar New Year just passed a few days ago, and with it, we officially enter The Year of the Dragon. For the occasion, I made drawings of nine random dragons from various series that I really like. Dragons include Spyro from the Spyro the Dragon series, both versions of Toothless from How to Train Your Dragon, King Ghidorah from the Godzilla series, Smaug from The Hobbit, Shenron from the Dragon Ball series, Fwench Fwy from Chikn Nuggit, Valstrax from the Monster Hunter series, Ridley from the Metroid series, and Drago from the Bakugan series.

Separate drawings below.

The Coolest Little Dragon with a Big Attitude - Spyro

The Night Fury and the Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, Two Different Iterations of the Same Partner of Hiccup - Toothless

The Planet-Destroying Monster Zero - King Ghidorah

The Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities - Smaug

The Eternal Wish-Granting Dragon but Fierce - Shenron

The Eternal Wish-Granting Dragon but Adorable - Fwench Fwy

The Crimson Star of Despair - Valstrax

The Cunning God of Death - Ridley

The Protector of Vestroia and Partner of Dan Kuso - Drago

[marvelandhobbit]

Heart of Middle Earth Chapter 3 - "The Misty Mountains"

“Gandalf. I thought you said this place would be easy to find. I lost my way, twice. I wouldn't have found it at all had it not been for that mark on the door.”

Bilbo looked confused, “Mark? There's no mark on that door. It was painted a week ago.”

“There is a mark. I put it there myself. Bilbo Baggins, Miss Y/l/n, allow me to introduce the leader of our company: Thorin Oakenshield,” Gandalf says as he looks to you and Bilbo.

“So… ...this is the Hobbit. Tell me, Mr. Baggins, have you done much fighting?” Thorin looked Bilbo up and down.

“Pardon me?”

“Ax or sword? What's your weapon of choice?”

“Well, I do have some skill at conkers, if you must know... ...but I fail to see why that's relevant.”

“Thought as much. He looks more like a grocer than a burglar. And who is this young lass?”

Gandalf introduces you, excluding the fact that you are from another world, which you are very thankful for at the moment.

“What news from the meeting in Ered Luin? Did they all come?” Balin asked eagerly.

“Aye, envoys from all seven kingdoms.”

“And what did the dwarves of the Iron Hill say? Is Dain with us?”

“They will not come. They say this quest is ours, and ours alone.”

“You’re doing a quest?” Bilbo curiously asked.

“Bilbo, my dear fellow, let us have a little more light.” 

Gandalf spreads a map over the dining table.

“Far to the East, over ranges and rivers, beyond woodlands and wastelands, lies a single solitary peak.”

“The Lonely Mountain.” Bilbo reads aloud as we look at the map together.

“Aye, Oin has read the portents, and the portents say: it is time.” Gloin adds.

“Ravens have been seen flying back to the mountain as it was foretold. When the birds of the old return to Erebor, the reign of the beast will end.” 

“Uh…what beast?” Bilbo stammered.

Well that would be a reference to Smaug the terrible, chiefest and greatest calamity of our age. Airborne fire breather, teeth like razors, claws like meat hooks, extremely fond of precious metals.” Bofur chimes in.

“Yes, I know what a dragon is.”

“I’m not afraid, I’m up for it. I’ll give him a taste of the dwarfish iron right up his jacksy!”

“Good lad, Ori!”

“Sit down!”

“The task would be difficult enough with an army behind us, but we number just thirteen, and not thirteen of the best, nor brightest.” Balin looked around him.

“Hey! Who are you calling dim?” Ori huffed.

The company of dwarves were starting to get riled up. You and Bilbo tried your best to stay quiet and out of the way.

“We may be few in number. But we’re fighters, all of us! To the last dwarf!” File exclaimed.

“And you forget we have a wizard in our company, Gandalf will have killed hundreds of dragons in his time.” Kili added.

“Oh, well. No, uh, I…I wouldn’t say…”

“How many then?”

“ What?”

“Well, how many dragons have you killed? Go on, give us a number!”

“Enough!” Thorin stood up and all of the dwarves quieted down. “If we have read these signs, do you not think others will have read them too? Rumors have begun to spread. The dragon Smaug has not been seen for sixty years. Eyes look East to the mountain, assessing, wondering, weighing the risk. Perhaps the vast wealth of our people now lies unprotected. Do we sit back while others claim what is rightfully ours? Or do we seize this chance to take back Erebor?” 

“You forget, the Front Gate is sealed. There is no way into the mountain.”

“That, my dear Balin, is not entirely true.” Gandalf pulled a key out of his pocket. Thorin seemed to have instantly recognized it.

“How come you by this?”

“It was given to me by your father. By Thrain. For safekeeping. It is yours now.”

Gandalf hands the key to Thorin.

“If there is a key, there must be a door.” Fili spoke. 

“These runes speak of a hidden passage to the Lower Halls.”

“There's another way in.”

“Well, if we can find it, but Dwarf doors are invisible when closed. The answer lies hidden somewhere in this map...and I do not have the skill to find it. But there are others in Middle-earth who can. The task I have in mind will require a great deal of stealth... ...and no small amount of courage. But if we are careful and clever, I believe that it can be done.”

“That's why we need a burglar.”

“Hmm. And a good one too. An expert, I'd imagine.” Bilbo adds.

“And are you?” Oin asks.

Bilbo looks behind him and notices that the dwarves are talking to him. 

“Am I what?” He asks confused.

“He said he's an expert.”

“Me? No. No, no, no. I'm not a burglar. I've never stolen a thing in my life.”

“Well, I'm afraid I have to agree with Mr. Baggins. He's hardly burglar material.”

“Aye, the Wild is no place for gentle folk who can neither fight nor fend for themselves.” 

Balin and Dwalin remarked.

“Enough! If I say Bilbo Baggins is a burglar, then a burglar he is. Hobbits are remarkably light on their feet. In fact, they can pass unseen by most, if they choose. And, while the dragon is accustomed to the smell of Dwarf... ...the scent of a Hobbit is all but unknown to him... ...which gives us a distinct advantage. You asked me to find the 14th member of this company and I have chosen Mr. Baggins. There's a lot more to him than appearances suggest. And he's got a great deal more to offer than any of you know. Including himself. You must trust me on this.” Gandalf insisted. 

“Very well. We will do it your way. Give him the contract.”

You realize that Gandalf seems to have forgotten about you, “What about me? May I come along on this journey?”

Thorin stands up, though not as sudden as before. 

“I don’t know how to fight or use weapons, but I can cook, kind of, and I’m more than able and willing to learn how to fight.”

Thorin stares into your eyes for what feels like an eternity.

“Please, I wouldn’t be a burden at all.”

“Fine… Balin give them the contract to sign.”

“It’s just the usual summary of out-of-pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth.”

“Funeral arrangements?” Bilbo gulped. The rest of the contract unfolds onto the floor.

As you and Bilbo read through the contract, he reads about the possible evisceration and incineration. The next thing you know Bilbo faints onto the floor.

“I'll be all right. Just let me sit quietly for a moment.

When Bilbo came to, he and Gandalf talked quietly, from what you could tell and remember from the book and movies, he denies the offer of being a burglar. You are leaning against the doorway to the living room, listening to the conversations around you, when you sense someone standing behind you. 

“Forgive me for interrupting your thinking, but I couldn’t help but be curious about where you are from. You are certainly not from the Blue Mountains or the Grey Mountains.”

“No, I am not from either of those.”

“Then where?”

“Um,” you stutter.

“Fili come over and join us.” One of the dwarves called out.

“I suppose we will have to save this conversation until next time.” He bows his head a little.

“I suppose so.” You are thankful for not having to explain everything to him and making a reminder in your head to ask Gandalf where you should say you’re from if someone asks again. You’re broken out of your train of thought again when the dwarves start singing.

“Far over the Misty Mountains cold. To dungeons deep and caverns old. We must away ere break of day. To find our long forgotten gold. The pines were roaring on the height, the winds were moaning in the night. The fire was red, it flaming spread. The trees like torches blazed with light."

-Author's note -

And onto the start of the adventure in the next chapter! I was wondering if I should do all of the scenes from the hobbit, or skim over some and focus on the more important scenes instead. Let me know what you think or if you have any suggestions! I'm hoping to post some one-shots later as well!

[ghostsandgod]

Bilbo & Smaug Complete Scene

'Chiefest and Greatest of Calamities' - now THAT'S a gravestone epitaph.

[grymfared]

It must look rather unbecoming of him, scowling at the vibrant journal that seemed to have been enchanted to sing- which perhaps would be charming to anyone who wasn't Malchior, last of the great Fire Drakes of the northern mountains, chiefest and greatest of calamities- and maybe if he had a way to break the enchantment on it, he'd feel less annoyed. He'd considered throwing it into the ocean, but ... it had been given to him when he'd found himself in such a daze ... when he'd been brought through a city full of light to an apartment ... of course he knew what that was, and certainly hadn't asked the odd guide who had been so kind as to drive him there. Of course he knew what a car was- he didn't ask about that either! That would be rather foolish if he didn't know- but he certainly did, and he was most certainly not suffering in the way of a man who had been thrown so wildly far from his own era! By his account, everything was just fine, thank you very much!

He wasn't very convincing in that regard, and deep down he knew it. But if nothing else, he had always been rather skilled at pretending, and why would it be any different now?

It's different because he's defenseless and he knows he's being watched. Not because he sees anyone directly in front of him, but because he's a dragon, and dragons were always aware of their surroundings. In order to protect their treasures from thieves, or to detect the presence of those who would wish to take their heads back to kings and queens in exchange for glory- ❝ I know you're there. Are you simply content to continue watching, or will you show yourself? ❞

❲ @wingherc ❳

[husbandomail]

I have another moon for you

I also have evidence my kitten is a goofy large creature (she's almost 10lbs and she's only 6 months!)

Her head is comically too small for her body, but she's evening out

(Don't mind the clutter. I was finishing up a craft project)

Here's the eclipse from last month. I don't remember if I sent it or not

I'm ngl I thought that said your kitten was 10 mb. that's a lotta ram for a cat LMAO. she's so cute!!

[husbandomail-archive]

I went camping at a "dark site" yesterday and I got this garbage shot because I fell asleep before the moon got above the trees

Here's a better shot from tonight from my bedroom (I went home early because camping on crutches is hard)

ON CRUTCHES?!?!?! GIRL ARE YOU OKAY

[lor210]

Lord Smaug the Impenetrable should never be described as silly or little. The absolute slander. He is Tremendous and the Greatest and Chiefest of Calamities with a wonderful jewel encrusted belly to top it all off.

Wait, I'm now being told that there was some sort of incident involving an unfortunate missing scale and some sort of singer/performer referred to only as Bard. 😂🤣😂

Neil, why did they draw Smaug to be such a silly little guy?

He's not little. He's a long way away.

[ataviisms]

high fantasy verse info

waylon was not born a dragon, but cursed into becoming one. he was born into a poor family in a small village; his mother died giving birth to him. he appeared to be a normal child, at first. but as he grew his skin began to crack and disfigure him.

his father abandoned him at his aunt's door when he was only five. his aunt treated him like a burden, decrying him as a monster and a changeling. the other villagers weren't much kinder. hatred and anger began to grow in waylon's heart, until his feelings soon overwhelmed him.

in his anger, he sought out a witch and pleaded for help. some way to change the way he looked so that people would respect him; some way to get back at his aunt and the rest of the village for their cruelty.

but unbeknownst to waylon, a witch's bargain comes at a price. his was his humanity. at sixteen he got into an argument with his aunt, and the change that the witch had promised began to happen. his skin became scale, his hands became claws, great leathery wings sprouted from his back, and in his fury he destroyed not only his aunt, but the entire village in a spout of flame.

he's been a dragon for years, now. reclusive, but no less immense and terrible. no less forgiving. and he likes it that way.

[grymfared]

when malchior had first arrived in spirale, he had played the part of the archmage. now, with his powers draining, it was harder and harder to maintain that guise- and so in his attemtps to save his strength, he simply allowed himself to be what he was from the start. the last of the great fire drakes of the north. malchior the magnificent, chiefest and greatest of calamities. a being stronger than these undead- surely-

can you communicate with me, comes a voice, and malchior's attention turns to a new companion. someone alive. of course i can communicate, he says, although he knows it must be a little unsettling to hear a voice from a mouth that did not move as human mouths did. you are alive, unlike these things, he continues, a swift motion of his tail knocking some aside- there is no need for me to hurt you. at least, not now. perhaps not ever. things were different in this day and age, the age of the city of spirale. and he was not forced to fight for causes that he did not believe in ⎛ not like before. every day he cursed the brotherhood, because that was not the person he wanted to be. sometimes, he cursed herald too, for sending him so far away ⎠we are fighting for the same cause, yes? to lay the undead to rest once more- so i will not hurt you. of course, the same could not be said for the undead, could it?

something is wrong here, he says, wings outstretched to beat against the fog- which seemed to return as quickly as he'd banished it- they are ... agitated. more than i have seen before. i will fly us far from this place if you so wish it.

@grymfared

ʚїɞ - Fern had been forced to reckon with some preconceived notions about dragons at the start of this bout. From what she knew, Spirale didn't have things like dragons natively. The Glitched didn't appear to have any monsters among their ranks aside from the few species that lurked in Cotes, too. So the fact that there was a dragon in her midst meant it came from another world, right?

They were already over a week in, and it had become clear how the mechanics worked. The crimson mist she'd encountered was one of the "modifiers". The problem was that she was at the point that her power was waning from overuse.

"Can you communicate with me? You're not... about to hurt me, are you?" Dragons were terrifying monsters in the world she came from. She had to make sure.

[grymfared]

4, 11, 17, 26, 32

romance and relationships

4. does your muse find any specific features particularly attractive?

malchior likes looking at people's eyes. dragons seem to be able to lure other entities in by making eye contact ⎛ see: glaurung refrence in malchior post ⎠ but it isn't about that, it's just that malchior sees the eyes as the window to the soul...

11. how comfortable is your muse with their appearance and their body?

malchior is not called "malchior the magnificent" for no reason. granted, humans gave him that title along with "dread dragon" and "chiefest and greatest of calamities" because dragons are prideful and maybe some ego strokes will make them not destroy things ... but malchior is aware that the human body he made is very attractive, and he's proud of it. similarly, he's proud of his dragon body. his confidence is absolutely unflappable there and it can be a little obnoxous.

17. what are some of the signs that your muse shows their care/love without saying they love/care about their partner?

malchior is a dragon, he's territorial, so when he starts offering things that he considers "his" to someone else, it shows he really is invested. dragons show love as acts of service and gift giving, because theres no other situation where such wildly prideful creatures would do any of that!

26. is your muse more likely to be loud and proud about being in a relationship, or are they more quiet about it at first and open up about it over time?

malchior's quiet about his relationships- this stems from the fact that his relationship with rorek put them both in danger. ultimately, when it was discovered, rorek and malchior both ended up in awful situations- rorek staged his fight for the people of the kingdom and trapped malchior, but was murdered before he could free him ⎛ hence why malchior was stuck for a thousand years ⎠ - notably, being with malchior gave rorek dragon sickness ... so yeah, malchior keeps things rather quiet in general ... and isn't too keen on a new relationship ... as far as he knows.

32. does your muse have an ideal "type"?

i have written about something i like to call "the rorek factor" before, and by this i mean malchior has based his standards for romance on how people measure up to archmage rorek. this also gets into how malchior and rorek's story was not at all what was written in the grimoire, the two were wildly toxic boyfriends but also were the dynamic duo- so in that way, malchior is likely to be more interested in someone if they are a prodigy mage lmao. but he also does appreciate kindness and honesty and bravery...