#chloe is tall awkward and lanky to ME

[kotzwinkled]

some mlb designs!

[ionizingdotjpeg]

Be more chill characters but as littlest pet shop figures

Aka “how i would cast the bmc characters if I was making a lps remake on youtube”

Jeremy

First off, Jeremy. I chose the giraffe because they are lanky and tall and awkward looking and basically just jeremy. look at that thing. look into it’s soulful blue eyes.

Rich

a close runnerup for for him would be the rooster lps refrencubg his red hair streak however this little ferret guy spoke out to me.

Micheal

Looks chill but also friendly, very nice looking young man.

Christine

now, to the untrained eye, this might look like a regular picture of christine, however upon further inspection it’s a joyful looking mouse.this mouse has big dreams and a big heart full of love and joy and its quite literally her.

Brooke

do i have to explain this. like at all?

Chloe

a bit mean looking, a bit of a diva, but thats okay because its chloe. quite literally wearing a tiara because of course she is.

Jake

i cant quite explain this one. he just looks so kind.

Jenna

LOOK!!! ITS HER AGAHAJABAGGAHAHA!! she has a cute big bow and 8 legs and js bright purple and despite that nobody pays attentuon to her… she looks so sweet and kind and deserves the world shes doing her best PLEASE (guess my favorite character)

Squip

Only fitting that the cool computer is played by the stereotypical cool boy lps. i do not trust those eyes.

Mr Heere

do not ask him why his son is a giraffe. he does not know either. not a singular thought behind those eyes.

[percontaion-points]

All Grown Up chapters 1 & 2

Click to see the rest of the snark & image descriptions

Chapter 1

My stepmother quickly exited from the kitchen, wiping her hands on a dish towel. She was probably making more baked goods for her Women’s Club. Club, ha! More like an excuse to get together and gossip about whoever hadn’t attended the so called meeting.

The internal misogyny is strong here, and we're literally still on the first page.

The Mackey’s house was one of the biggest on the block. It was definitely bigger than our four bedroom house. They had at least six bedrooms.

Our house was beige with green trim, while theirs white with blue trim. The Mackeys had a four car garage, ours a two, and they had the pool. Not that a pool was all that useful in Tillamook. However, the Mackeys had a heater installed so it was able to be used more often.

Who the fuck cares.

This isn't boding well for the story that we're literally on page three and we're already pausing everything in order to explain bullshit like this.

We stopped in front of the most gorgeous boy I had ever seen. He was tall and lean, but still muscular. His face was perfect, as if angels had created it by hand. And his hair, oh God, his hair, it was the same dark chocolate brown as Elaine’s, but held naturally sun bleached highlights. It was wavy and seemed to be either perfectly unruly or styled into the best bed head I had ever seen. Then his eye color, his sparkling hazel eyes, my infatuation began immediately.

"Leonard!" She yelled in a purposely annoying tone.

"Yes, Wilhelmina?"

Wilhelmina?

"Don’t call me that." There was a quick slap to his arm before her introduction. "Chloe, this is Leo. Leo, Chloe." She motioned between us. Like the bumbling idiot I'd suddenly reverted to, I could only stare and smile.

"Hey, Chloe, nice to meet you," he smiled back.

Swoon!

I'd like to find the author and spritz her in the face with a spraybottle for this scene alone. (The rest of the book isn't looking promising for the author's face to dry out anytime soon, too.)

When Mina found out about my fashion preferences, she made a vow to teach me the ways of the shopper.

I’d rather be a Jedi.

I was average, nothing special. I had fair skin, brown hair to my waist, dark brown eyes, black rimmed glasses and I was awkward and lanky. All knees and elbows as my father, Kenneth, always said. I was under no impression I was more than the girl next door.

~ ~ ~

Having Christy as a step-sister with her dark bronze skin, black hair, almond-shaped, hazel eyes and curve after curve, wasn't exactly an ego boost. Compared to her and K.C.'s Native American genetics, I was definitely the ugly step-sister.

In case I didn't tell you, but this is more pulled to publish Twilight garbage.

Yeah, there's a reason why most people haven't heard of these books before.

Our freshmen year went about the same except Mina was still at my side.

[literally not even two pages later]

Sophomore year of high school started off much like freshman.

We are literally in the first chapter and the author seems bored with her own story. That's never a good sign.

I wasn’t sure what junior and senior year would hold for us.

Chapter 1 summary: The story starts off with our main character, Chloe, being introduced to her new neighbors. They have a daughter, Mina, the same age as Chloe, as well as a 17 year old son, Leo. Chloe's mother walked out a few years ago, and her father has remarried. So now she has two step-siblings.

As you might have guessed from the title alone, this story isn't going to focus on fourteen year old Chloe. However, rather than trying to explain to the reader about how Chloe and Leo have known one another for a decade or whatever, it's instead going to start us off with Chloe at fourteen, and then badly skim over two years of them in high school.

I can tell that this one is going to be a real winner when not even the author seems invested in her own story.

Chapter 2

Well, he had them on her until his hands dropped lower than her hips and Leo appeared next to them.

Chapter 2 summary: I take it back after reading this chapter. I want for the author to skip 100% of the childhood stuff and get to the points where the characters are old enough to be in an adult relationship. Because this chapter was that bad.

Right after graduating from high school, Chloe's older step-sister got pregnant with her boyfriend. This resulted in stricter rules for Chloe, which she naturally didn't find all that fair. (She's not her step-sister, after all.)

But enough about dumb family drama. It's the first warm day, and everybody is going to be at a bonfire down at the beach. What follows is some of the most insipid, immature, dumb dialogue and narration that I've read...

In at least three days.

Mina's mom calls, and Mina tells Chloe that Leo dropped by with some friends unexpectedly. So Mina invited them to hang out, while chanting about “college boys! College boys!” They show up, and Leo will not stop checking Chloe out.

[mawklee]

Idk what your fandoms are aaaa so i guess bmc??

yES thank you god bless ur soul my friendThe character I least understand:Probably Chloe,,, , or Jeremy's dad,, sorry lolInteractions I enjoyed the most:Rich calling Jake "Jakey D" bc tru best brofriends have the best nicknamesAlso the entire boyf riends thing obviouslyAnd J's dad asking Michael if he loves Jeremy and our dear sweet Micycle is just like "whhat hahahahaa"Also Jake singing to Christine because I love Jake's voice he can step on me anytimeAnd finally "did you kill Eminem???" ".....not exactly" bc that was so funny the first time I read itThe character who scares me the most:Definitely the terrible walking floppy disc bc that thing really fucked J and Rich up,, like if I got a squip it would take me down in two seconds flatThe character who is mostly like me:Our humble little tall ass beanpole,,,, Jremy Heere,, ,the awkward lanky dork with the dopey smile and homosexual tendencies,,,, ,,Hottest looking character:Jakey D he can step on me anYTIME IM GAYOne thing I dislike about my main character:He's not my boyfriend,, ,One thing I like about my hated character:I don't hate anyone,, but J's dad is probably my least fav just because I'm not a big fan of the pants song but I do like the fact that he knows how gay his son's best friend is,A quote or scene that haunts me:"Everything about me makes me wanna die"The squip manipulated Jeremy into saying that but J wouldn't have said it if he didn't mean it and fuck I'm so similar to him god there are so many thingsAlso Michael In The Bathroom. Just the entire goddamn song. Because Michael has one friend and they love each other but he just got abandoned by the closest person in his life and he's falling apart and yeah I've been there I've lived thatA death that left me indifferent:The squip lmao (That's the only """death""" but I wasn't sad to see that bitch go)A character I wish died but didn't:The squip because it's not actuALLY GONE AND LIKE IT MADE RICH LOSE HIS MIND CAN YOU IMAGINE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN IT KIND OF SNEAKS BACK LIKE HOW DOES RICH RESPOND TO IT does he have a panic attack????? Does he swallow it down?????? Does Jake help him deal with it?????????? I've thought about this a lot and I just want my kids to be happy oka yMy ship that never sailed:None. All the ships are canon literally all of them thanks Joe Tracz for my entire life no one is straight it's all real bye