More Than A Feeling, Chapter 2
Rated X | Read it here on AO3
Week One- St Joseph, MO
Memorial Day Weekend, 1998
“Okay, folks, come gather around here and we’ll get things started.”
Scully steps forward, joining the half-circle of people who are also here for their first day of work. Besides herself, there are three men: a wiry brown-skinned boy who looks like he’s barely eighteen, a short, pot-bellied white man with a receding hairline, and a tall, handsome dark-haired man with hooded green eyes and a pouty mouth. The woman addressing them is fair-skinned and looks to be in her thirties, soft-bodied with a low brown ponytail. She’s wearing an AC/DC T-shirt and jean shorts that are cut off just above her knees.
“Welcome to More Than a Feeling! My name’s Jean, I’m the lead-man around here. The big-boss is Tami, she owns the show, but I’m next in charge after that. I’ll get you oriented today and then set you up with whoever’s gonna train you for your job. This first week is a trial for you. If you turn out to be a gazoonie, we’ll thank you for your time and send you home with a paycheck. But if you work hard and help us make lots of money, you might get asked to travel with us to the next town. Okay, let’s figure out who’s who here.” Jean flips through the pages of a clipboard, reading off her roster. “Damien Burton,” she asks, looking up at each of the three men.
“That’s me,” the thin man says, holding up one bony hand.
“Good to meet ya, Damian. You’re on games, and Lenny’ll train you. Chris LaCourse?”
The pot bellied man nods but doesn’t speak.
“Chris, you’re gonna ride jock, and Mickey will show you what to do. Luke Michaelson?
“I’m Luke,” the handsome man says, and she resists the urge to look over at him. She knows he’s wearing a white T-shirt and fitted blue jeans, as that’s what he’d been wearing when they parted ways at the Hoover building this morning, ready to meet again as strangers later that day.
“Luke, you’re going to be working with Madge, our camp cook. It’s not rides or games or anything like that, but she needs a new cook to help her get meals out and I saw on your application that you have experience working in kitchens.”
Scully carefully keeps a smirk off of her mouth. Mulder cooking: now there’s an unexpected challenge for this assignment.
“Penelope Kinney,” Jean says next, looking at Scully as she is obviously the only possible Penelope of the group.
“Hi,” Scully says with a small smile.
“You’re on rides, too. You’ll go with Chris and get trained by Mickey.”
Scully nods in acceptance of this, but knows from the research she did to prepare for the case that ride jocks are very rarely female, for good reasons. She wonders why they’d choose to put her in this male-dominated role.
“Alright, follow me and I’ll show you around,” Jean says with a wave of her arm, and the four new recruits trail behind her. “We’re still setting up, obviously,” Jean calls over her shoulder as she leads them across a grassy field dotted with bits of equipment and partially-built booths, “but this will be the midway. This is where your home base will be, Damian, and rides will be over there,” she gestures to her far left, “and concessions are at the back. Luke, the camp cookhouse is over by the boneyard. We’ll go there next.”
“What’s a boneyard?” Damian asks as he steps over an overflowing toolbox.
“Living quarters for the show employees,” Jean answers with a smirk. “They see a lot of action, hence the name. Who all is staying in the bunkhouse?” she asks, glancing back to her new employees.
The three men each raise their hands, but Scully shakes her head.
“You got a trailer, Penelope?” Jean asks, and Scully nods. “Lucky girl! This here is the bunkhouse,” Jean explains as they come to an eighteen-wheel trailer with six doors on each side. “We can house twelve people in each of these, it’s just a little off your check each week. The walls are a bit thin, but it’s your own space with a bed and a mini fridge, and it beats tent camping. Showers are at the back of the trailer, you can use those if yours doesn’t have one, Penelope.”
Jean checks her clipboard and shows the three men their new housing, handing them each a key. She then leads them to a long row of portable outhouses, and Scully grimaces.
“These are the staff donnikers,” Jean says as she gives an affectionate pat to the door of the first outhouse. “I know what you’re thinking, but we keep ‘em clean as a whistle. Those four down at the end with stars on ‘em are for ladies only. Do you know why that is, gentlemen?” She pauses and waits for one of the men to answer, but they each look at each other and shrug. “Because men are fucking disgusting,” Jean supplies, and winks at Scully. “That’s it for staff quarters, let’s get you all started on training.”
They make their way back across the field, booths slowly taking shape as well as half of a small roller coaster. They come to a partially built ride being assembled by a young woman with jet-black hair and an olive complexion, her lips painted ruby red in juxtaposition to her dirty coveralls. She’s being assisted by a broad-shouldered man who sports a frustrated wrinkle in his brow, and the two are shouting over music that emanates from a small boombox sitting on the ground.
“I still don’t get it, Summer. How come they don’t fall over when the ride gets going fast?” the man asks the woman, who rolls her eyes.
“It’s gravity, Carl, I don’t know what to tell you,” Summer says derisively. “Put it together right and it won’t matter how it works, just that it does.”
Jean stops and gestures to the new hires.
“Hey Summer, here’s our fresh meat for the week. This is Summer, she’s the lead ride tech. She fixes shit when it breaks. This is Carl, he stayed on from last week.”
Summer looks over the group and flashes Scully a coy smile. “Welcome to the crew. This is the Gravitron we’re putting together,” she says as she surveys the parts scattered on the ground.
“I still don’t get how it works,” Carl admits sheepishly.
“It’s centrifugal force,” Scully supplies without thinking. “The inertia of an object in motion will always try to move in a straight line, but when that’s impossible, in this case because the riders are held in place by the padded walls of the ride, the inertial force will push them to the outermost reaches of the space they can move within in an attempt to find that straight line.”
There is a long pause, and Scully realizes everyone is staring at her with some mixture of confusion and awe. She feels her cheeks burn and she steals a quick glance at Mulder, who is shaking his head with a smirk.
“I really liked physics in school,” she explains, then looks at the ground.
“What’d you put her on, Jean?” Summer asks.
“Ride jock,” Jean answers. “But I’m guessing you want her?”
Scully lifts her head, surprised that her little slip seems to be going over well, rather than exposing her.
“Hell yeah I do,” Summer says, then turns to Carl. “It’s been real, buddy, but you’re on rides now. Hasta la vista.”
Carl joins the other three men and they continue on towards the other end of the field. Mulder shoots her a quick glance over his shoulder and gives her a nearly imperceptible nod before he disappears behind the wall of a booth.
“I’m Summer, good to meet you,” Summer says with an extended hand. She’s thin, with narrow hips and an ample bust, and is much prettier than Scully would have guessed a carnival worker would be, which she realizes is probably an unfair stereotype.
“Penelope,” Scully returns, taking Summer’s hand, which is delicate but covered in rough calluses.
“Can I call you Penny?” Summer asks hopefully, and Scully nods. Summer flashes her a smile that reveals a single turned-in tooth at the front of her mouth. The little imperfection next to her striking beauty somehow makes her even more attractive. “Alright, Miss Penny the physics buff; let’s put this bitch together. We’ve got twenty-four hours to show time.”
-
Mulder glances once more over his shoulder at Scully as she shakes hands with the surprisingly beautiful ride tech, then loses sight of her.
He’d carefully contained his smile when they met up at the Hoover Building that morning, seeing her in tight-fitting jeans and a baggy Rolling Stones T-shirt, her face bare. He wanted to ask her if these were clothes she owned, or if she’d gone shopping in order to dress the part of her undercover persona, but he was too afraid she’d read his questions as teasing.
Things between them have been concurrently difficult and thrilling as of late. Since her miraculous recovery from the cancer that nearly took her life, he’s tried to show her how much she really means to him. At times it feels like there’s something between them, something more than friendship, but at other times she’s distant or he finds himself pulling away. The risk in exploring those feelings is so great, he fears they may never be willing to take it.
After Chris, Carl, and Damian have been dropped off with their respective trainers, Jean leads Mulder over to a makeshift food truck fashioned from a travel trailer with a pop-up canopy just in front of it. Two men are positioning long picnic tables under the canopy while a stout woman in her sixties directs them.
“Madge!” Jean calls out as they approach, and the older woman turns and squints at them in the mid-morning sun. “Here’s your new cook, Luke. He’s got kitchen experience.”
Mulder hides his grimace behind a smile. He had no hand in completing the application that was submitted on his behalf, and he wonders if the inclusion of a history as a line cook was some sick joke by one of the coordinating agents. It’s not that he’s incapable of cooking, he’s just never found much value in preparing meals for one.
Madge approaches them with a slight limp. Her sun-weathered arms are covered in faded Sailor-Jerry style tattoos and she has a handkerchief tied around her head in the style of a biker. Her oversized T-shirt reads “I’d rather be riding my Harley,” and she extends her hand as she nears, a lopsided smile on her mouth.
“Welcome to the crew, Luke,” she says warmly. “You’re gonna help me keep all these fuckers fed while they run the show.”
Mulder takes her hand and smiles back, finding her immediately likable. “Sounds like an important job. I look forward to it.”
Jean instructs them to spend no more than a couple hours going over the basics, then Mulder can take some time to get settled in his bunk before they start dinner prep. She leaves them, and Madge leads Mulder inside the cook trailer, from which Pink Floyd blares at what strikes him as an unnecessarily loud volume. By the way she moves, favoring her right side, he gathers that she’s suffered a stroke at some point, and as she points out the various storage and prep areas he notices long-faded track marks on her inner arms.
“The best part about working the cook trailer is that you get to make good shit for yourself. You ever had a bacon cheddar jalapeno corn dog?” Madge asks with a gleam in her eye as she leans heavy on the prep counter.
“No, but it sounds amazing,” Mulder says with a genuine smile, and she nods knowingly.
“You just wait, Buddy Boy. You’re gonna get nice and fat this summer,” she says with a maternal pat to his arm.
-
After Summer shows Scully the trailer that houses the tools and equipment she will use to set up and repair rides during the show run, then outfits her with coveralls and a walkie-talkie, they make good progress on setting up the Gravitron before it’s time for Scully to get situated in the boneyard. Summer leads her behind a row of booths and explains that there are areas of the show that are off limits to guests that they can use to get around without being stopped with questions about where the goldfish game or the bathroom is. They pass by a narrow alleyway between booths and Summer gives Scully a mischievous little glance before she beckons her into the alley with a quirk of her head.
“C’mere, I wanna show you something,” Summer says as they run into a dead end where an antique fortune teller machine is situated. “This little baby is my pride and joy,” Summer says as she pats the carefully-maintained wood exterior.
The sign across the top reads Princess Doraldina Tells Past~Present~Future, and boasts that the Queen of Fortune will provide a reading for only five cents. Inside the glass case, a mannequin with long, dark hair, a green dress, and stacked necklaces sits perched with one hand over a crystal ball and the other pointing at a deck of cards spread out on the table before her.
“Isn’t she amazing?” Summer asks, looking back and forth between Scully and Doraldina. “I found her at some fairgrounds back east, abandoned from a longstanding show that closed its doors. They were ready to throw her in the dumpster, but I saved her. I keep her tucked away because I don’t let just anyone get their fortune read,” Summer says as she digs in her pocket for a nickel, “but you seem worthy of a reading from Doraldina.”
Summer holds out her open palm and Scully takes the nickel, figuring that Penelope the carny probably believes in silly things like nickel fortunes. She pops the nickel into the machine and Doraldina comes to life, her head slowly turning back and forth as her chest rises and falls with her breaths, the hand extended above the cards moving right to left as though considering their meaning. After a moment, a slip of paper appears in a slot towards the bottom of the machine, and Scully reaches down to retrieve it.
“What does it say?” Summer asks with unconcealed excitement, and Scully suppresses the roll of her eyes.
She reads the card first to herself, and feels a little flush in response to the message written on it. Summer impatiently steps behind her and reads it over her shoulder.
“True happiness lies on the other side of a leap of faith—if you are willing to risk the fall,” Summer reads, then looks at Scully expectantly. “Does that mean anything to you?” she asks, and Scully stuffs the card into the back pocket of her jeans.
“Uh, no, not really,” she lies.
Summer shrugs. “Maybe it will soon. Sometimes it’s for the future.”
Scully nods noncommittally and Summer leads her back to the main walkway until she can make out the boneyard in the distance.
“I’ll see you at the cook trailer around six,” Summer says as they part ways, and Scully heaves a relieved sigh at having a moment to herself.
“Penelope, was it?” says a familiar voice behind her, and she turns to see Mulder approaching, a dirty apron tied around his waist.
“That’s what they call me,” she says dryly, and he catches up to her as they continue on together.
“Luke,” he says, extending his hand, and she bites her lip to suppress a smile as she shakes it.
“So I gathered,” she replies, deciding that Penny isn’t the kind of girl who instantly trusts handsome strangers she meets at the carnival.
“I like the outfit,” Mulder remarks, giving her a head to toe glance. She finds herself also surveying her outfit, which is smudged with axle grease and dirt.
“Likewise,” she says with a glance at his apron, and he smiles at her. “Do you cook, Luke?” she asks rhetorically, and he shrugs.
“Apparently I do.”
“Should I be concerned? I’d rather not get food poisoning my first day on the job,” she quips, and he shakes his head.
“I think you’ve made an unfair assumption about me, Penelope,” he says, casting her a too-familiar glance that makes her belly tumble.
“I’ve only just met you,” she says flatly, trying to shift the tone of the conversation. “I don’t know enough to assume anything.”
“Well, word on the street is that we’ll get a break around midnight, and I had my eye on that little grassy knoll for a midnight snack,” Mulder says, pointing over to a small grassy hill on the edge of the fairgrounds. “Perhaps if you had a similar hankering around that time, we could get to know each other a bit better over some of my world-renowned cooking.”
Scully feels her cheeks warm at the invitation, though she understands this is simply a way for them to create a time and place to speak privately about the case.
“If I find myself available at that time, perhaps I will,” she replies, her eyes on the ground.
“So, how’d you score a trailer and I’m stuck in the carny frat house?” Mulder asks as they near the boneyard.
“I suppose someone thought it may be unsafe for an unarmed woman to stay in said carny frat house,” she replies, recalling the coordinating agent giving her keys to a Datsun pickup truck with a small vintage trailer attached to it. “Though now seeing that you have an exterior locking door, I’m not sure it makes much of a difference.”
“I think you’ll find it makes a difference when you try to fall asleep tonight, or tomorrow morning, or whenever they let us clock off,” Mulder says as he digs in his pocket for the key Jean gave him. “That thing is like a tin can. We may as well all be in one room.”
“That might actually prove useful,” she offers, and he shoots her a doubtful look.
“Wanna trade?” he says sarcastically, and she gives him a small smile.
“Nah, I think I’m good,” she says, and they each go their separate ways; she to a gravel lot full of trailers, campers, and RVs, and he towards the bunk house.
Her trailer is extremely modest, with a small kitchenette and a table that converts into a bed, but no bathroom. She is very grateful for a more private space than Mulder was afforded, as well as a small cabinet that was outfitted with a key-coded lock in which they can keep case notes and any evidence they locate before they’re able to get it to the local field office. She makes the table up into a bed and lies down, staring at the fabric-covered ceiling as she considers what they know and what they need to find out.
There have been six reports of missing persons, all locally-hired employees of the More Than a Feeling carnival. Some went missing in their first week with the show, while others were brought on to travel and disappeared weeks or months down the line. No bodies have been recovered, and there is no evidence with which to bring charges, nor any suspects. The owner of the carnival, Tami Marksmith, claims to have no information regarding her missing employees. Their bunkhouse rooms were left untouched, their final paychecks uncashed. Some were trouble employees, others not. Absent any leads or any other options, the FBI sent two of their agents undercover to infiltrate the show and try to get to the bottom of what’s happening, which is how she and Mulder have found themselves here.
Scully rolls to her side with a sigh, regretting that this particular moment in time is the one in which they were put on such an assignment, one that means high stress and long hours together, but not as themselves. It’s only recently that she’s come to accept the fact that her feelings for him aren’t entirely platonic, and she’s still actively adjusting to what it means to be his partner and his friend while longing for something more. Add to the mix that he’s playing a part, and she already feels like she doesn’t know which end is up. She unsnaps her coveralls, reaching into her jeans pocket and pulling out the fortune card she got from Summer’s machine.
True happiness lies on the other side of a leap of faith—if you are willing to risk the fall.
She doesn’t believe that a random fortune from a machine holds any meaning, but she can admit that it feels apropos for her relationship with Mulder at the moment. Some days she feels ready to take the leap, but others she is so afraid of the fall that she closes herself off to him and hides behind their working relationship as the reason there can never be more than this. Reaching towards the window, she tucks the fortune between the glass and the frame.
True happiness. She wonders what that even means.
Just before six, Scully makes her way to the cook trailer. Long before she sees it, she hears the din of voices and laughter and the steady thrum of music emanating from under the canopy. As she nears, she sees strings of lights have been strung up between the canopy and trailer, and several long picnic tables are set up both beneath and beside it. Her mouth stretches into a smile when she sees Mulder, still clad in an apron and his white T-shirt, standing before a grill with spatula in hand, his head bobbing along to the music as he serves burgers onto the waiting buns of carnival employees who are lined up holding plates.
“Penny!” Summer calls, waving her over to one of the tables beneath the canopy. Scully sits down beside her, surveying the table to see the familiar faces of Jean, Damian, Chris and Carl, as well as a few people she hasn’t met yet.
“How’s your first day going, Penelope?” Jean asks, and it doesn’t read as a platitude.
“Great so far, I’m learning a lot,” Scully replies, taking the beer Summer offers her and sipping at it. She knows that she needs to fit in with the other employees, which may include some drinking, but she also needs to stay sharp.
“That’s great to hear,” Jean replies jovially, then turns to the woman beside her. “This is Tami, she owns the show.”
Scully recognizes Tami from her photo in the case file. She’s in her forties, short with a curvy hourglass shape under her baggy clothes. Her mahogany skin is peppered with freckles, and her hair worn in a tight afro. Scully takes her hand and Tami meets her eye with a stoic expression.
“You need anything, you let me know,” Tami says. “We take care of our people here.”
Scully gives her a tight-lipped smile and nods, wondering how she is able to make the declaration with such conviction given that several of her employees have gone missing without a trace.
“Thank you,” she replies, taking another sip of her beer.
After everyone’s meals have been served, Mulder takes a seat at the other end of the table and introductions are made while they eat burgers and freshly-made potato salad. Scully retells the story from her undercover profile regarding her need for a fresh start after leaving an abusive marriage, and Mulder puts on an Oscar-worthy performance explaining his propensity for petty theft as a young man, and the way his criminal record has stood in the way of steady employment. The others seem to have varied backgrounds: some are challenged to find traditional employment due to criminal records or inability to meet the expectations of corporate America, while others choose this lifestyle for its varied experiences and opportunity to travel.
“Do you enjoy the work?” Mulder asks a man who was introduced to them as Picker, the resident “juice man” who is in charge of making sure that the electrical needs of the show are met and who is also Summer and Scully’s direct supervisor.
Picker cracks a gummy smile, showing off his crooked, discolored teeth as he runs a hand over his bald head. “Nah, I don’t enjoy it, I fucking love it, man,” he says emphatically. “Every day is something new. Every customer at the show is having the best day of their life. Smiling faces, loud music, good food, and partying with your friends every night? What’s not to like?”
The other members of the crew raise their beers in agreement while the newcomers smile sheepishly, a feeling of excitement crackling around the table.
“Okay, okay, okay,” Jean says, calling the attention of the table as she claps her hands. “This has been real inspirational and shit, but it’s about time to get back to it. We’ve got a little over eighteen hours until showtime, so I hope you newbies are ready to work hard.” Scully catches the affectionate look Tami gives Jean as she commands the attention of the employees. “Something you’ll learn fast is that the time between slough, when we tear down the show, and the jump to the next town to set up and open again is an all-hands-on-deck effort. You won’t be getting much sleep between now and then, but once the doors open we’ll make sure you have time to rest and get ready for the week. Newbies, you can call it at midnight tonight but you’re back on the clock at 6:00am. The doors open at noon tomorrow and we need to be ready. Are we ready to make big money?”
Jean cups her hand around her ear and the staff all shout “Big money!” so loudly Scully flinches.
“Hell yeah!” Tami agrees, and they finish their meal in high spirits before she and Summer get back to work setting up the Music Fest ride.
-
The sun has long since set, the air heavy with dew but still warm from the late spring heat of the day. Mulder makes his way to the grassy hill with two cardboard bowls in hand and waits for Scully. His feet and lower back ache from hours of standing, but through his fatigue he feels the accomplishment of a day of hard work.
He grew immediately fond of Madge, with her gruff affection and her quick wit, and the nickname of “Buddy Boy” she bestowed upon him. While he’s a quick learner, it became clear right away that he didn’t have the experience she was expecting. Despite that, Madge was patient and helpful in her corrections regarding which knife to use and at what temperature to cook the various foods they prepared.
He sees Scully’s small form approaching him in the ambient glow from the flood lights set up around the fairgrounds, and her posture tells him she’s dead on her feet before she’s close enough that he can see the familiar set of her mouth that means she would have liked to have been asleep hours ago. He takes one last look around them to be sure there is no one within earshot, but they agreed only to use their aliases even when they were alone, just in case.
“Hey, sunshine,” he calls to her, and she pushes her mouth into an attempt at a smile.
“Hey,” she replies, dropping down beside him.
She smells like grease, dirt, and sweat, though he finds the smell of a sweaty Scully to be a particularly appealing one. He hands her one of the cardboard bowls and she picks up a fried ball of dough, casting him a questioning look.
“Fried pizza balls,” he explains, popping one in his mouth. “Maybe not your usual fare, but I think you’ve burned more than enough calories to earn it.”
She nods in agreement and takes a bite out of one, then turns to him with a surprised expression. “This is delicious, Mu–Luke,” she says, making a face at her near slip-up.
“Don’t act so surprised,” he teases, bumping her with his shoulder. “So, anything gained today?”
She shakes her head solemnly, swallowing. “I don’t think so. Not yet, anyway. Summer isn’t setting off any red flags for me, but I haven’t had a good opening to ask her about her past yet. I don’t want to be too eager and make her suspicious.”
“Well you may have already made her suspicious with your knowledge of centrifugal force,” he points out, and she grimaces. “You’re too smart for your own good.”
“I’m going to quote you on that,” she retorts. “What about Madge?”
“She’s been with the show a long time. I think she has a history of addiction, but not too recent that I can tell. I like her,” he says.
“Well,” Scully says on an exhale, “based on the pattern, Chris and Damian are at risk, as well as you and I as the newcomers. So we’ll need to keep an eye on them as well.”
Mulder nods. “It’s only day one, can’t expect much at this point. Should we meet here again tomorrow, at midnight unless a different time makes more sense?”
“Don’t you think that will look strange?” she questions, finishing her last pizza ball and stacking her bowl inside his. “Why would two new employees be so chummy after one day?”
Mulder laughs dismissively. “No, no one will wonder why I’m trying to get you out here alone every night, Sc—Penelope. You heard Jean say why they call it the boneyard, right?”
He can practically feel her blushing, though she characteristically plays it cool.
“Right,” she says levelly. “Well, I’m exhausted. I’m going to go take what is probably the worst shower of my life and go to bed.”
She stands, taking the bowls from him and making her way back towards the boneyard.
“Hey, can I call you Penny, too?” he yells when she is several yards away from him, and she holds one fist up over her head, the thumb cocked in approval.
After his own shower, he settles into his bunk, which is a room only large enough for a twin sized bed, a small counter, and a mini fridge. As he tries to fall asleep around the intermittent peels of laughter, the crackle of radios, and the grunt of someone who is either masturbating or having extremely one-sided sex, he thinks about Scully in her little coveralls, grease streaking her cheek and already caked under her fingernails. There’s not a single version of her he doesn’t find beautiful, he’s found. Not a single presentation of this woman that doesn’t make his heart skip a beat while his hands reach for her of their own volition.
Despite the noise, exhaustion overtakes him and he sleeps, deep and dreamless, until a foghorn sounds outside the door at 6:00am and rouses him for another day on the job.
Tagging @today-in-fic
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