#chrisfluff

[taylorgrace-writes]

Going Under

Pairings: Chris x reader

Warnings: Medical references, mentions of cancer, needles

Word Count: 2k

Genera: Angst, Fluff, Whump

Part: 1

Authors Note: I am in no way shape or form in the medical field. I have no idea if anything of this is "correct" so please don't come at me! -T

You thought it was just going to be a normal doctor's visit. Just the standard check-up that everyone had around every two years. Chris offered to come with you and you said yes. Going to the doctors gave you enough anxiety as it was but with Chris by your side you knew it wouldn’t be that bad. Everything had gone completely fine until the doctor left the room to bring your blood test to the lab. You sat on the examination table, swinging your sock clad feet back and forth as the white paper below you crinkled with the movement. Chris sat patiently in a chair in the corner of the room, giving you a reassuring smile. You gave him a weak smile back as you looked down at your hands that were fidgeting together. You knew you had no reason to be nervous as everything else had been fine and you were almost free to leave but the scary thought that they might find something through your blood test had your anxiety rising.

“I wonder what’s taking the doctor so long.” Chris remarked as he looked down at his phone to check the time. “He only said it would take 10 minuets at most.” You looked up at the clock that hung on the wall, seeing that it had been 20 minutes since the doctor left. You looked back at Chris with worry written all over your face. “Hey, I’m sure they’re just busy.” He told you knowing you were undoubtedly thinking the worst. You let out a sigh, shaking your head in agreement. Chris was probably right. The parking lot had been pretty full when the two of you got there and the waiting room was definitely not the quietest. Another 20 minutes passed agonizingly slowly before the doctor finally knocked on the door and entered. He was looking down at his clipboard intently, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. “For a second there I didn’t know if you were going to come back.” Chris joked to the doctor letting out a small chuckle. The doctor looked up at Chris giving him a soft smile before turning to you.

“Y/N, the lab found some um abnormalities with your blood work. We would like you to come back tomorrow for some follow up procedures just to make sure you’re okay.” You looked at Chris wide eyed, your head filling with dread.

“What kind of… abnormalities?” Chris asked, chewing on the inside of his lip.

“We detected some traces of liver enzymes in Y/N’s blood.”

“Is that a bad thing?” you asked, voice shaky with concern.

“No, not at all. It’s actually quite common to have small traces of these enzymes in your blood. Your’s is just on the higher end so we want to make sure it's not something more serious.” You nod your head in confirmation before looking back over at Chris. He gives you a reassuring smile before standing up to shake the doctor's hand.

“Thank you so much doc, really appreciate it.”

“Of course, a nurse will be coming in shortly to go over prep for the procedure and to retrieve your clothing.” The doctor tells you and Chris, before shaking you had. “See you tomorrow.” He says before walking out of the room and closing the door behind him. Not even 30 seconds after he leaves a nurse knocks on the door coming in with your clothing and a small pamphlet.

“Hi Y/N, for your procedure tomorrow there really isn’t much you need to do for prep since we only need to take some blood and then bring it back to the lab. Just make sure to stay away from the foods in this pamphlet.” She tells you as she hands the pamphlet over to Chris before handing you your clothes. “You can change and leave whenever you're done just make sure to stop by the front desk to make your appointment for tomorrow.” She tells you before leaving. You slowly stand up, untying the gown from around you and putting your normal street wear back on. When you're done you take Chris’s hand as he leads you to the front where he schedules the appointment for you.

The drive home is quiet and before Chris can say anything to you, you're jumping out of the car and running into his home. You bypass Dodger as you run upstairs to the room the two of you share. You can hear Chris calling after you but you don’t care. You’re scared about tomorrow and right now all you want to do is escape from the world. Chris finds you in the bedroom, snuggled up under the covers as you try to hide away. You feel the bed dip as Chris sits down on the edge of it next to your huddled up form. He rubs your back for a while before slowly lifting up the blanket to see your tear stained cheeks and red watery eyes looking up at him.

“Oh baby.” He coos before sliding in next to you as you cling onto his shirt.

“I’m sc-scared.” you whimper out only for him to shush you as he strokes your hair.

“It’s okay to be scared, baby. That’s normal but I promise whatever we find out tomorrow that you’ll be okay.”

“How do-do you know-know that?” You sniffle up at him.

“Because you are the bravest, strongest, toughest girl I know. I mean look at ya! You somehow manage to put up with Dodger and me on a daily basis.” He jokes, making you giggle a little. “It’s going to be okay but you need to believe it's going to be okay too.” he tells you. “Can you do that for me?” he asks as you give him a small smile, nodding your head in agreement. He gives you a big smile before giving you a kiss on the forehead and pulling you closer to him.

The rest of the night goes by smoothly but when you awake the next morning your anxiety has resurfaced. You quickly throw on a pair of jeans and a shirt before heading downstairs to the kitchen where you find Chris already up and making breakfast.

“Hey baby, how’d ya sleep?” He asks, looking over his shoulder at you before going back to making his famous scrambled eggs.

“Okay.” you whisper out as you find a seat at the island.

“The eggs are almost done.” he tells you as he grabs two plates from the dishwasher. He loads them up along with some fruit and toast before setting one down in front of you and the other beside you where he usually sits for meals. You wait patiently for Chris as he pours the two of you some juice before sliding into the chair next to you. He smiles at you before digging into his food. You shakily pick up your fork, stabbing some of the egg onto it before bringing it to your lips. Out of the corner of his eye Chris can see your trembling hands. He knows you're nervous so he tries to take your mind off of it by talking.“So I was thinking, maybe we could go to the doctors this morning for your procedure then we can have the rest of the day to ourselves. We can take Dodger on a walk, maybe get some ice cream…” He trails off sending a knowing smile in your direction. Chris knows you love ice cream as it's one of your favorite treats, he was expecting to get some sort of reaction out of you but instead you just hum in agreement as your leg bounces on the edge of the chair. “Baby it’s going to be alright.” Chris says, resting his hand on your bouncing thigh. You look up at him giving him a weak smile before pushing off the chair.

“Thanks for breakfast Chris.” you tell him before heading back upstairs to your room. A frown forms on Chris’s face as he looks down at your plate. You had barely eaten a thing. Chris lets out a sigh before looking down at Dodger who whimpers out, laying his head down in his paws.

“I know buddy, I hope she’s going to be okay too.”

Before you know it Chris is leading your trembling form down one of the hallways in the hospital. Your eyes dart here and there trying to focus on the doctor's white lab coat in front of you as he leads you and Chris to a separate area of the hospital where more advanced blood tests are done. You can hear the doctor talking to Chris but in your anxiety induced state all you can make out is the mumbling of the two men’s voices. The doctor leads you into a room with a large reclining chair that Chris softly guides you to sit down in. Again there’s the muffled noise of the men’s voices but soon they stop as you hear the soft click of the door shutting.

“Hey baby,” Chris says, scooting the chair he was seated in next to you. “How ya feeling.” You look at him, eyes glossy and bottom lip wobbling. “Hey, it’s going to be okay Y/N. Remember what we talked about last night? You’re going to be okay but you have to believe in yourself.” You nod your head slightly. Soon the doctor arrives back with a nurse who explains how everything will work. You jerk at the cold antiseptic wipe she runs over your arm before she pulls out the needle. You know it's small but the thought of it scares you, making you let out a whimper that catches Chris’s attention.“She’s really nervous.” Chris tells the nurse. She looks back at you before speaking up.

“Would you like your boyfriend to hold your hand?” she asks. You shake your head vigorously as Chris lets out a chuckle, standing up and walking around to the other side of you. Your grip on his hand is tight as Chris continues to watch you observe all the vials that need to be filled. When the nurse is ready she instructs you to look at Chris so you don’t have to watch the blood leave your body. You let out a sharp breath as the needle is inserted into your arm, your eyes welling up with tears.

“You’re okay baby, you're doing great.” he comments as he rubs small circles with his thumb on the back of your hand. In only a matter of minutes all the vials are filled and a bandaid is placed over your arm.

“We should know the results in about an hour. You can either stay here or go get something to eat while you’re waiting.” The nurse tells the two of you. Chris looks down at you giving you a smile before looking back up to the nurse.

“I think we’ll go have some lunch first.” The nurse gives you a smile and shakes Chris’s hand before walking the two of you out. “So what do you wanna do for lunch baby?” Chris asks, wrapping an arm around your shoulders.

“Taco Bell?” you ask him.

As you and Chris munch away on your food he gets a phone call from the hospital informing that your results are ready and to come back whenever you're ready. You had been so calm during lunch, practically forgetting about the test results. You know when Chris stands up to throw out his garbage that it’s time to go and the anxiety returns. As you walk into the hospital Chris has his arm around you again.

“The scary part is done baby, they’re just going to go over the observations with us then we can go home.” You smile up at him as he pulls you a little closer to his form.

This time a nurse leads you to a different room with a long table and chairs on either side. Your doctor and a few other people are already in there when you and Chris arrive. They were all talking quietly but all went silent as you and Chris came in. The doctor comes over to shake your hand and then Chris’s before instructing you to sit. In front of you is a box of tissues, a small paper cup of water, and a plain manila folder. You look over to Chris as he rests a reassuring hand on your thigh. The doctors soon start talking but you quickly zone them out, their scientific words passing right over your head. You catch only chunks and phrases like ‘liver’, ‘weight loss’, ‘nausea’, and ‘loss of appetite’. You have no idea what this all means but when you look at Chris he seems to know and it's not good. Tears are silently running down his cheeks as his hand tries to wipe them away.

“Chris, what’s wrong?” you ask him as he chokes back a sob.

“Y/N, you have cancer.”

Cancer? How could you have cancer? You were healthy and completely fine two years ago. What has changed since then? When the two of you got home Chris finally stopped crying, he knew he needed to be strong for you. He also understood you had no idea what was going to happen to you. Chris motioned for you to come sit on his lap while he rested on the couch.

“Baby, do you know what's wrong?” he asked you, you shook your head no. Why had he been crying? You could get rid of cancer, and you were young and healthy, you would bounce back in no time, so why was Chris so upset over this? “Y/N, you have metastasis liver cancer. The doctors don’t know how you got it, or why you got it so young, but it started down here,” he tells you, pointing to your chest. “But it started to move and now it's up here,” he tells you, pointing to your head. “In your brain.”

“Can’t they get rid of it?” you ask him. Chris looks away from you for a beat, biting his cheek before looking back at you.

“No, they can’t. The chemo treatment would be too risky on your body and could kill you quicker than the cancer.”

“Will I die from this?” you ask Chris, tears now sliding down your cheeks as well as his.

“Yeah, baby. The doctors think you have around a year left.” Chris chokes on the last part as you bury your head into his chest. How could this be happening?

[taylorgrace-writes]

Going Under

Pairings: Chris x reader

Warnings: mentions of cancer, bed wetting

Word Count: 1k

Genera: Angst, Fluff, Whump

Part: 4

As the weeks went by you became less and less yourself. You became constantly tired, no longer wanting to do anything at all. Your appetite was little to none and in the course of 4 weeks you had lost up to 50 pounds. Most nights were spent dry heaving over the toilet bowl as Chris rubbed slow circles on your back. Your hair had been falling out in patches and clumps until there was none at all. Headaches became a constant pain and nurses would be coming over to the house to check on you daily. Friends and family came over less often and soon your bedside table was littered with sympathy cards. Tear stains were ever-present on your cheeks and you couldn’t even remember the last time you smiled. Chris was the only constant in your life these days. He always stayed by your side no matter what and was always there for you. His constant reassurance and positive manner was something you deeply relied on. Even though each week was more difficult than the last you would have never thought it would come to this point. 

You and Chris had been laying in bed watching some sitcom on the television as you rest your eyes. Chris had been quietly reading to you, something that you enjoyed ever since he read to you that first night you stayed over at his place. It had been storming out and to get your mind off of it he started reading to you. Now, whenever you were stressed, scared, or just wanted to hear his voice he would read to you. As you lay in bed listening to his soft voice you hadn’t even realized the dampness seeping out from under you. Chris soon paused in his reading which prompted you to open your eyes. He slowly lifted the covers to find a large wet spot around your thighs and upper back. Now realizing what you had done you immediately burst into tears. Your breath comes out in short gasps. 

“Hey, no, baby, it’s okay. It’s okay.” Chris tried to tell you as tears streamed down your cheeks. “Y/N, hey, it’s okay. Come on, you gotta breathe for me, sweetheart.” Your big glossy eyes looked up to meet him as he grabbed your hand to put it on his chest. “Big breaths, remember?” He asked you as he exaggerated his breathing, trying to get you to mimic his own. Soon your breathing evened out as Chris continued to calm you. “There you go. Good girl. You’re doing so well for me.” He told you. “I’m gonna go start a bath for you okay?” He told you as he slipped out from beside you. You waited for him in the now wet sheets before he came back for you, helping you to the bathroom before assisting you out of your soiled clothes and placing you into the tub. “Relax darling, I’m just gonna go start the wash and change the sheets okay?” You let out a hum of approval before he walked out, back to the bedroom. After he left you let the tears fall. You were so embarrassed. How could this have happened? You were a grown-up for God's sake yet you were peeing the bed like a little girl. How could Chris stand to be with you? 

After Chris threw your wet clothes along with his into the wash he returned back to the bedroom to strip the sheets off the bed and throw those in the washer too. He remade the bed with fresh sheets before going downstairs to the kitchen to make an important call. 

“Hey, mom.” He spoke into the phone. “Um, Y/N wetted the bed. I just, I don’t know how I’m supposed to help her.” His mom told him what to do and how to help you. Chris knew that you must be embarrassed as he would be too but he also knew that this was no way your fault at all. The doctors said that there may be a slight chance of you not always being able to control your movements so Chris had stocked up on things he thought might help. He set out a waterproof cover over the mattress of his bed before grabbing you a fresh pair of pajamas and some absorbent panties for you. When he returned back to the bathroom he found you seated in the tub, knees pulled up close to your chest as your arms wrapped around your body. You were sniffling, hot tears coating your cheeks as you sat in the now cool bathwater. “Baby it’s okay,” Chris told you as he helped you out of the tub. You were confused at the new panties but Chris explained them to you, reassuring you all the while. As he helped you back into bed you were startled by the slight rustling noise coming from under you. Again Chris explained to you about the cover. As soon as he finished you burst out once again in tears. “Baby, it's okay.”

“I’m so sorry Chris.” you whimpered out to him. 

“You have no reason to be sorry. This is completely normal. The doctors told me this might happen.”

“I just can’t believe this. How can I be so helpless? I mean, I can’t even hold in my pee anymore.” You told him, breaking down.

“Y/N, you're not helpless. Look at you! You’re so brave and strong. I’m not even sure if I was in your place if I could still be alive. And who cares if you can’t control your movements all the time? The doctors said this might happen and it is in no way your fault. Trust me I don’t mind a little pee. It sure as hell beats cleaning up Dodgers half-dead rabbits he finds in the yard.” Chris told you as you let out a small chuckle. “I know you must be embarrassed but honey you have no reason to be. I know you can’t help it and I promise I’ll be here for you. You don’t have to worry, baby. I’m not gonna leave you just because of that.” Chris told you, pulling you closer to him. “I love you so much, all of you, no matter what.” 

“I love you too Chris,” you whispered out as he placed a gentle kiss on your lips. 

“Now, where were we?” he asked before grabbing his book off his nightstand and continuing where he had last left off.

[taylorgrace-writes]

Going Under

Pairings: Chris x reader

Warnings: mentions of cancer

Word Count: 1k

Genera: Angst, Fluff, Whump

Part: 3

Chris slowly blinked his eyes open to be met with the early morning sun glowing through the blinds of the window. He let out a yawn, stretching his arms up over his head before turning on his side to face you. When he saw you he immediately knew something was wrong. You were curled up into a small little ball, desperately trying to wrap the blankets closer around your shivering form. You whimpered out in your sleep and as Chris raised a hand to move some hair out of your face he couldn’t believe how cold your skin was. How could you be this cold? He was perfectly comfortable in just his boxers with a thin blanket covering him and here you were in long sweatpants, fuzzy socks, and one of his sweatshirts with multiple blankets tucked around your form and you were still terribly cold. A small frown ghosted over Chris’s lips as he gently shook your shoulder, trying to arouse you.

“Y/N, baby, wake up.” he called out as your body shuddered. Chris watched as you slowly opened your eyes before trying to burrow further under the covers.

“How are you not freezing cold?” you stuttered out.

“Baby, it's just you.” Chris told you sympathetically “Remember the doctors told us you were going to have cold spells.” You hum in agreement as you try to snuggle into Chris’s warm chest. He gently runs a hand over shoulder before letting out a sigh. “How about we go take a bath, how does that sound?” You let out a little moan before shaking your head agreeing to the bath. “Okay, you stay right here and I’ll be right back for ya.” Chris tells you gently moving your body off of him. You let out a whine of protest at the lack of warmth from him as he gets up and tightly wraps the blankets around your shivering form. He leans down to give you a quick kiss to the forehead before heading into the bathroom. He starts the water, making sure it is warm enough for you but not enough to burn your skin. He adds some of your favorite essential oils to the bath along with bubbles. He throws a bath towel into the dryer before walking back to your shared room to grab you. He gently lifts you up, blankets and all, as you cling to his warm chest. He walks with your form into the bathroom before softly setting you down on the toilet. You gasp out at the cold porcelain on your bottom as Chris hushes you. “I know honey, I know, but once we get you all warmed up you’ll feel alot better.” he tells you before slowly removing the blankets from around your body. Your shuddering intenses as he takes off your socks and your shirt, exposing your skin to the cool air. “Almost done baby.” he tells you before gently standing you up so he can help pull down your sweatpants. You have been naked in front of Chris many times before so there is no shame or embarrassment as you stand there, shivering and crossing your arms over your chest, trying to keep warm. Chris gently helps you into the tub. He instantly sees your body relax as you let the warm water surround your cold body. You close your eyes as your body slowly melts into the water. Chris smiles down at you softly before raising his hand to brush a few loose strands of hair away from your face. As you feel his warm hand touch your skin you open your eyes to see him fondly looking down at you. “Feels good huh?” Chris says. You nod your head in agreement before reaching for his hand to hold. 

“Want you with me.” you murmur out, gently tugging on his hand.

“Let me wash your hair first then I’ll join you for a little bit, okay?” You again nod your head in agreement before letting go of Chris’s hand. He grabs your shampoo bottle before gently sitting you up and positioning you so you're facing him, your head resting on his shoulder. He pours some of the shampoo into his large hands before gently massaging it into your hair. You let out a content sigh as his fingers comb through your hair. Tears prick at the corners of his eyes at how quickly the cancer has taken a toll on you. Just a few months ago you were perfectly fine and now here you were, so small and frail, your tired body slumped against his. He could easily count each of your back bones and your ribs were starting to become more prominent through your thin skin. He needs to stay strong for you, he knows that, so he takes a deep breath, holding back the tears before gently leaning you back to wash out the shampoo. With one hand he holds your body and with the other he gently runs it through your thin hair, rinsing out all the shampoo. He then lays you back down before stripping from his own clothes and joining you in the warm tub. He gently maneuvers your body so you're between his two legs, your back resting against his solid chest. He holds you like this for a while just enjoying the moment, not knowing if he’ll ever experience another bath with you again. Before you know it he’s moving out from under you whispering that he’ll be right back. He’s back in no time at all, setting a warm fluffy white towel near the sink before returning over to you. He gently lifted you from the tub before quickly wrapping you up. He set you down on the toilet once more as he unplugged the drain then brought out the hair dryer. He turned on the warm air as he gently ran a brush through your damp hair. When your hair is dry he carries you to the bedroom before helping you into your favorite pair of footie pajamas and fuzzy socks. “Feeling any better baby?” You give him a slight shrug. You want to tell him you feel great, you want to say you're doing amazing but if you did you’d be lying. You didn’t feel great, not at all. You wanted to tell Chris everything about how you felt nauseous whenever you were around food, how things you used to like to do no longer brought you pleasure, how you hated how thin and frail you were, how you were so tired you could easily sleep the day away. You wanted to tell him but you didn’t because you didn’t want him to worry about you more than he already was. So you put on a brave face and a small smile, trying to convince him you were alright. “Wanna try some soup?” he asked. Chris noticed you were eating less and less each day. He didn’t want to pressure you to eat if you really didn’t want to but he also knew that even a small amount of food in your system would help you feel better. Your response was another slight shrug so before he went down to the kitchen to make you some he wrapped you up in blankets again before putting on your favorite disney movie to watch. He came back soon with a steaming bowl of soup along with a mug of your favorite tea and some meds the doctors prescribed to help with your decline. Chris sat down next to you, raising up a spoonful of the soup to your lips as you hesitantly swallowed it. After a couple of spoonfuls Chris had you drink some of the tea with your meds before setting the unfinished soup aside. He gently got under the covers next to you before pulling your body close to his. “It’s okay princess.” he told you as you let out a sniffle, silent tears streaming down your cheeks. “It’s all going to be okay.” Even though you knew that it was just going to get harder than this, his comforting words let you believe if only for a second that everything would truly be okay.