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whentheynameyoujoy · 4 years

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Yup, Sure Was a Finale

I had an epiphany. The reason why I never re-watched the final two parts of Sozin’s Comet even though I’ve popped in episodes at random many times over the years isn’t that I can’t bear the sadness of seeing one of the best, most engaging narratives out there come to an end.

It’s simply that the finale isn’t all that good.

Some honorable mentions of what was enjoyable.

(+) This

Just this.

(+) The Church of Zutara has another convert

“Are you sure they don’t get together?” Hubster, 2020

(+) The tragedy of Azula

And the fact that it’s acknowledged as such. I hope Zuko will do his best to get her help and have a relationship with her…

(+) Sokka being a big bro

And the whole airship sequence in general. It’s wonderfully paced and plotted, with moments of humor, real stakes, Toph being both badass and a scared crying kid, Sokka strategizing and protecting, Suki saving the day, and non-benders being instrumental in thwarting the bad guy firebender’s plans. Would be shame if Bryke never portrayed them this capable ever again…

And now for the main course.

(-) Blink and its over

The wrap-up feels too quick (hashtag Needs More ROtK-style False Endings). A part of this is due to how fast the story goes from the thick of the action to hastily tying up a bunch of loose ends, but the larger issue is how Book 3’s uneven pacing comes home to roost. After spending half a season on filler episodes that at best subtly flesh out established characters while dancing around a huge lionturtle-shaped hole, and at worst contradict the theme of “no one is born bad” with “you’re a hot mess because your great-grandfathers didn’t get along too well”, the frantic “go go go” rush of the second half screeches to a halt with “they won and everyone was happy because now the right people have power and it will be all good from now on yup nothing more to deal with baiiiii”.

Yes, I know, it’s a kids’ show. But goddamn, this particular kids’ show has proven so many times it can do better than the expected tropiness. Showing the characters in their roles as builders of a new world was the least that could have been done.

Oh well!

(-) Ursa

We’ll never know. There will never be a story that delves into this. Yup. Shall forever remain but an intriguing mystery. Is good, though. Mystery is better than a story where Ursa shares her son’s penchant for forgetfulness. Imagine how embarrassing that would be. Speaking of which…

(-) What does Mai see in this jerkbender?

Look, I like to harp a lot on the mess of inconsistent writing that’s Mai but let’s unpack this scene from her perspective, shall we?

Zuko forgot about her! It totally slipped his mind that the one person who prioritized the safety of his dumb ass was rotting in the worst prison in the Fire Nation—because of him! And she was rotting there long enough after the final Agni Kai for the news of Zuko’s upcoming coronation to spread and her uncle to feel sufficiently secure to release her. But then the coronation scene is attended by every single member of Gaang & Friends that was imprisoned?

So what this tells me is that either a) the invasion force had the ability to break themselves out the whole time and for some reason decided not to exercise it until after the war was over, b) Zuko forgot about them as well and no one thought to remind him there were prisons full of POWs until Mai arrived, or, and that’s even better, c) Zuko took care to free every single resistance fighter while making sure Mai would be the one to stay behind bars.

Never thought I’d say this but Mai? Honey? You deserve so much better.

(-) “What does Katara want?”

Asked no one in the writers’ room ever, apparently.

This is not so much anti Cataang as anti romance stories that pay attention to the needs, opinions, and wants of only one partner in general. Over the previous 60 episodes, Katara actively expressed romantic interest in Aang exactly, wait for it,

Once.

And it got retconned out of relevance by the following two interactions where the possibility of a romantic relationship came up, making the Headband dance pretty easy to reclassify as just one of those examples where Aang “teaches” Katara to have fun (as if one of the main obstacles to her having fun wasn’t him constantly fooling around and offloading his duties). And because the writers not only didn’t succeed in portraying Katara’s internal state of mind, but also failed to root her reluctance to pursue a relationship in outside circumstances that could change, her sudden state of unconfused once Aang steps into the spotlight has a single canonical explanation that as much as approaches coherency.

The fact is, though, that trying to interpret canon Cataang from a Watsonian perspective is an exercise in foolishness. Because there is no Watsonian justification for the ship and never has been. Bryke simply conceived of Katara as nothing but a tropey prize for Aang, never saw her as anything beyond that, and were perfectly happy to go on and immortalize her as a passive broodmare for the rest of her life.

And I fully intend to die mad about it.

(-) Iroh dips

OK, it’s been long apparent that the show doesn’t intend to do anything about Iroh’s complicity in AzulOzai’s regime in any meaningful way, and that his sole motivation for doing anything whatsoever is Zuko whom he views as a replacement son which is supposed to be good for some reason. But the finale has him abandon even that, and instead turns him full-on YOLO, idgaf anymore. It really throws Iroh’s supposed love for Zuko into doubt when his last act in the entire show is to take a half-educated 16-year old with no political savvy or an heir to secure a dynastic continuity and plomp him on the throne of a war-mongering imperialist regime where the entirety of the militarist and ruling class is guaranteed to fight him tooth and nail for power.

(I sure hope Mai’s ready to start popping out babies by tea-time otherwise the whole country is fukd in about a week)

Christ, how hard would it be to have Iroh keep the throne warm for a few years while Zuko is getting ready to succeed him? Not only would it make the whole FN reformation bit quite likelier to occur, it would require Iroh’s hedonistic ass to actually sacrifice something for once. And not having Zuko ascend to power, instead spending some time bettering and educating himself first, would be a wonderful message that no matter what you endured and overcame, you never stop growing. A kids’ show, remember?

(-) The conquering of Ba Sing Se

Gee, I feel so blessed to have my attention diverted from battlefields which actually matter to an old dude vanity project I would have been perfectly happy to assume resolved itself off-screen.

The White Lotus in general just bugs me. I was fine with the individual characters and their overall passivity when they were portrayed as lone dissenters living under circumstances where it wasn’t really possible for any single person to mount a meaningful resistance. But as members of a far-reaching shadowy organization that’s left the real fight to a bunch of kids for 59 episodes straight and didn’t turn up until a perfect opportunity presented itself to take control of the largest city in the world and bask in the spotlight?

Yeah, no.

Similarly to the lionturtle-ex-machina, the White Lotus represents a huge missed opportunity for a season-long storytelling. Here’s just a brief list of what they could have been doing throughout Book 3:

orchestrating a Fire Nation uprising;

gathering those directly persecuted by AzulOzai’s regime to help Zuko keep his hold on power once he’s crowned;

establishing themselves as a viable alternative to Ozai;

sabotaging Fire Nation’s war efforts from the inside;

countering Fire Nation propaganda (Asha Greyjoy’s pinecones, anyone?);

running a supply network to alleviate the suffering of Earth Kingdom citizens.

Instead, they sit on their asses until the time comes to claim personal glory.

You know what, good on Bryke for making me conclude that in comparison, the Freedom Fighters were perfectly unproblematic, actually.

(-) Fire Lord Dead-by-Dawn

Yes, a kids’ show, I know! But ffs, this is the same kids’ show that came up with Long Feng and portrayed courtly intrigue, kingly puppets, secret police, spy networks, and information wars. Was it really too much of me to expect something other than “enlightened despot solves everything”? Especially if said enlightened despot has persisting anger issues, no personal support system, no base of followers, and no political experience whatsoever?

If Zuko’s actually serious about regaining the Fire Nation’s honor (i.e. by dismantling the country’s military machine, decolonizing the Earth Kingdom, paying reparations to everyone and their lemur, and funding any and all cultural restoration projects Aang and the SWT come up with), then there is no way, no way in the universe that he doesn’t face a civil war, deposing, and execution within a month.

One reason why his future as a Fire Lord seems rather bleak is that little’s been shown about the actual subjects of AzulOzai’s regime. While we get a vague reassurance that “no Toph, they’re not born bad” (le shockings), they largely remain a voiceless uniform mass of brainwashed clapping seals. What is their view on the Fire Nation’s crimes? Do they associate their condition with their country’s war-mongering? How will they react when Zuko starts dismantling the country piece by piece to rebuild it, bringing it to economic ruin? What will they do when noble Ozai loyalists come out of the woodwork and begin rounding them up under the banner of “Make the Fire Nation Great Again?”

I have no idea, and Zuko doesn’t either because he’s unironically more qualified to rule the Earth Kingdom than his own people.

You know what would have been better? Fire Lord Iroh, White Lotus pulling the strings to maintain the regime, and Crown Prince/People’s Champion Zuko travelling the Fire Nation with Aang and an army of tutors to promote the new boss, only to realize that absolute monarchy is kinda crap for the people he’s one day supposed to rule and gaining their support by ceding some power to them.

I’d laser holes into my TV due to how much I’d enjoy watching that.

(-) All hail Avatar Rock

Literally and metaphorically. Aang doesn’t sacrifice anything, gets everything, and the clever solution of going about getting said everything is handed to him on a silver platter, requiring no active participation on his part whatsoever.

He doesn’t work to unblock his chakras, spiritually or physically.

He only speaks to his past lives to get a pat on the back and a bow-tied solution he could mindlessly follow.

Energy-bending doesn’t require any sacrifice from him, leaves no lasting marks, and only serves for the narrative to praise him as the rare individual that’s unbendable and thus so very very special.

The most infuriating thing is, however, that Aang is clearly shown as being able to beat Ozai without either the Avatar state, or energy-bending.

And he chooses not to. From this moment on, Aang no longer fights to save the world. He fights to preserve his beliefs, going directly against the instructions of his past lives and effectively reneging on his duties as the Avatar.

Again.

It’s not like you can’t portray Aang’s faithfulness to his spiritual beliefs as the key to beating Ozai and saving the world. But that’s not what the show did. There is no link between Aang sparing Ozai and securing a better future, quite to the contrary—Ozai’s survival ends up being a massive problem for the continuation of Zuko’s rule, and consequently a threat to the world at large. His survival benefits Aang and no one else.

Aang’s spiritual purity and his status as a savior of the world are allowed to coexist only due to a deliberate stroke of a writer’s pen.

And I hate it.

Welp, nothing to do about it now except to bury myself up to my tits in fix-it fics I guess.

#atla #atla rewatch #meta #zutara #anti bryke #anti-kataang #anti-aang #anti-maiko

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floraone · 4 years

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What do we mean when we say “sex positivity?”

With Smutember around the corner, and because this is SADLY nothing sex ed talks about consistently around the globe, I want to take a bit of time to about sex positivity if you’ll allow me. Specifically, what we mean when we use the term, and what it doesn’t. Does sex positivity mean you have to like having sex? (Spoiler, it doesn’t). Does sex positivity mean it’s wrong to not be open about doing certain practices? (Nope, it doesn’t either.) Does sex positivity mean I have to either love or hate porn, or erotic literature? (No, again.)

Since I’ll talk about this for a little longer, AND you because get to decide if you want this topic on your dash*, read ahead after the cut. (*and, while we’re at that, with smutember coming: all posts on this blog will be tagged with the hashtag #smutember2020 henceforth. If you don’t want to see this content, please feel free to block the hashtag.)

Forthose who don’t want a long post, here is the TL;DR:

Sex positivity is defined in many, many different ways, but ultimately spans attitudes regarding how we perceive sex and sexual conduct both for ourselves and others. It sees sex as a healthy expression of ourselves in which all consensual expressions of it are valid. In which shaming each other for sex or sex practices or shaming each other for the lack of experiencing sexual desire and having healthy sexual boundaries is not sex-positive. Sex positivity is about embracing all expressions of sex and sexuality (as long as they are between consenting people) as something positive that embraces open communication about personal limits and desires, and encourages exploration. Consent here is the most important prerequisite requirement: That all people involved are of an age and state of mind and consciousness where they are able to willingly consent, as well as have the perceived power to willingly consent to participate in the action.

So, to preface this shortly, this isn’t actually a term that is super easy to define. Which is why scholars (among them feminist, psychologist, social studies and sexual medicine scholars and many others) have not yet agreed on a universal definition. In fact, there are papers solely focusing on comparing definitions to find their common ground. It is, thus, definitely not something that goes without saying.

Before I can speak about what sex positivity is, we have to talk about the most important ingredient, though: Consent.

What is (and isn’t) consent?

Consent is the explicit agreement to participating in any action, and here, specificially, sex. It can be verbal and non-verbal, but it means everyone involved really wants to do all sexual actions that are being done, no exceptions. It means no one is being coerced against their will, no one’s concerns are being ignored, their desires and boundaries are known and being listened to and respected. It means no one is doing something they had no chance to reflect upon if they want it or not, and no one is doing something they don’t want out of obligation or a sense of duty. It means no one is having sexual contact with someone who isn’t able to consent in any form: be it because they can’t consent because of their age, or limited consciousness, or because of perceived verbal or nonverbal threats and/or consequences. The latter, in its most base terms, means (non-exhaustively) that people below the (culturally differing) ages of consent - meaning children and young teenagers - cannot consent, that people who are intoxicated, under the influence of drugs, asleep, in a state of trauma or shock, in a dissociated state of mind or any similar states cannot consent, and that people who feel they have no power to say no cannot conset - i.e. someone who fears consequences to their physical, social or psychological well-being (or those of others) if they say no, which can range from, say, an employee feeling like they can’t decline an employer’s physical advances that they don’t want without negative consequences in any form in their work-environment, or a person in a romantic relationship fearing a break-up if they don’t “deliver” sex even if they don’t want it, or a person who feels they have to “deliver” sex they don’t want in order to prove their personal worth or love or affection or to avoid ridicule. These are of course non-exhaustive. A person who says yes even though they don’t want to because they feel they can’t say no, as well as a person who is too young and/or unable to say no, isn’t consenting.

And because this is so important, here, have that brilliant Tea of Consent by Emmeline May, quoted and photographed off my copy of “More Orgasms Please: Why Female Pleasure Matters” by the Hotbed Collective.

What Sex Positivity Is

Most of us are very intuitive about what sex positivity is, but the fewest of us have ever discussed it at length in any way or form, and thus the edges are very often hazy!

First and foremost, sex positivity is a set of attitudes that forms personal beliefs regarding sexuality, how we perceive collectively shared sexual norms, and how we view sexual autonomy and sexual expression both in ourselves and others. So what does that all entail, and how does that look?

A basic view of this is: sex is good! Sex is, as long as it’s consensual, something healthy, and a valid and enjoyable way to express intimacy, affection, love and desire. It’s not just a means to an end (satisfaction, babies, etc.) and it should not be shrouded in shame or pain or discomfort, and instead be communicated about openly and respectfully. This is of course, in direct answer to sex-negativity: The belief that sex is bad, shameful, sinful, and having it makes you just as sinful.

Here is one of many scientific definitions for the term: “[Sex positivity is] the belief that all consensual expressions of sexuality are valid.” (p.289)

That means if you’re, say, really into having sex while wearing stockings (actually something that comes up very often when you ask people of their fantasies in surveys!) or maybe wanting to be tied up for it (also a VERY frequent fantasy) and do it ONLY with people who are into it, too, and not against their will, then it’s a healthy expression of your desire and no one (no parents, no society, no church or institution or anyone) is entitled to shame or sanction you for it.

As Justin Lehmiller, a social psychologist and sex researcher says, society (including its medical and psychological history and authorities, sadly!) has had a very narrow and restrictive view of what is “ok” to be desirable when it comes to sex in the past and sadly sometimes still the present, and that “they’ve pretty much told us that we shoudn’t do anything other than put penises in vaginas and even that, ideally, should only take place within the confines of a heterosexual, monogamous marriage).” (p.vi) Bringing with it the dogma of immorality and crime, among else.

Sex positivity aims to be the antithesis of this. It means all forms of consensual sexual expression are valid. Not one form is better than another. If you live and love monogamously or heteronormatively, it isn’t better or worse than living in any other form. From polyamory to kinks, or having any kind of consensual fetish that don’t hurt anyone else or their free sexual expression when sharing them with others, all of them are valid, none of them are better or worse than any other individual choice. It means celebrating and validating all forms of sexual expression (or lack thereof!) as well as all forms consensual practices, while having any form of sexual identity and any placement on the wide spectrum that is gender identity.

What Sex Positivity Isn’t

Because sometimes it is easier to thoroughly understand something by outlining what it DOESN’T include, this is more imporant than many might think. And because I’m obviously not the first person to think about this, there is this really great article by Everyday Feminism about what sex positivity isn’t that is written in a very clear and straight-forward way, that I’ll urge everyone to check out, but I’ll also outline some select few of the (more numerous) basics they’ve described here:

🚫 Sex positivity means liking sex

No. Just because someone really, really enjoys sex, that does not mean at all they are sex-positive by default. Sex positivity isn’t synonym with being overly enthusiastic about having sex or surrounding yourself with it. It can! But that’s not at all the point in the slightest. Someone who really likes sex can still be disrespecful about someone else’s sexual expression, or feel entitled to someone else’s sexual acts or interest in sexuality, or that they can judge someone’s sexual identity or form of expression. Sex positivity is about respecting others in all their forms of sexual expression, even if those forms don’t represent your own. Likewise, someone who does not themselves like or enjoy sex can still be respectful of other’s expression of it in any form and with any other person or persons, and see sexuality as a healthy form of self-expression even when it is their choice to not engage in it for any span of time or reasons.

🚫 Sex positivity means everyone should have and like sex because it’s healthy

No. There are uncountably many reasons why someone might be repulsed by sex or simply not interested it. All of them are valid. None of them are to be shamed. Sexual trauma, sexual exploitation, a lack of feeling sexually empowered, pain during sexual intercourse, lack of desire, internalized shame that prevents sex from being enjoyable, the feeling of being in an environment where your sexuality is coerced or objectified and not feeling comfortable with it, being touch-repulsed or simply feeling no inkling of “lust”. All of this is valid. Sex positiy means respecting boundaries in consentual sex. It does not mean you have to have sex if it is unpleasant for you for any number of reasons. Of course, if you want sex and are suffering under any number of reasons that make you not enjoy it even though you would intrinsincally WANT to enjoy it (Anything from pain to sexual trauma to shame), then there are professionals out there qualified to help and counsel you. But they, too, are not entitled to dictate sexual action for you. Only you decide if you want to have sex or not. No one else. You are the master of your sexual expression in any form and are entitled to decide how, when and if you (and only you) want it, and no one else. That is an expression of sex positivity.

🚫 Sex positivity means being open to all forms of sex

No. Being sex positive means you respect the healthy expression of your own and someone else’s sexuality, and this includes their boundaries. You can believe that sex is healthy and enjoyable and should not be shamed in the least, and still not like anal. It does mean however that you still respect someone and their sexual expression when they do like the shit out of anal (pun intended lol, thank you very much.) This person is not entitled for YOU to like anal or to get it from you if you don’t enjoy it, and you are not entitled for them to not desire it. And this of course goes for any sexual practice. Judging and shaming someone for enjoying giving blowjobs is not sex-positive, just like it isn’t sex-positive to expect someone to inherently WANT to give blowjobs. Sexual boundaries are very healthy, and an important form of self-reflection and the root of true informed consent. Knowing what you like and don’t like and that these things will most likely differ from others in their unique expression is an important path to a most healthy sexual expression.

🚫 Sex positivity means always being ready, available, and interested in sex, with anyone.

No. Sexual expectations wear heavily on people from any gender or sexual identity. Many queer or nonbinary people suffer, among else, under sexualisation and being made the stuff of fetishes or being ascribed heavily sexualized attributions. Many men, among else, suffer under normative stereotypes, myths and sexual scripts that say they always want sex and are unmanly when they don’t feel desire 24/7, that they’re always up for sex and never not in the mood. Likewise, the 70s brought women and their sexual freedom into a position heavily reinforced by porn scripts in which they are expected as ‘sexually freed’ beings to be sexually available, ready, interested, and orgasmic at all times, and if you are not, you are a prude, and if you do it too much, you are a slut. These are all (non-exhaustive) forms of sexual shaming and dictated sexual expectations. If you are generally enthusiastic about sex and enjoying it, you are allowed to have phases where you feel less desire. And whether you are someone with a generally smaller libido that sometimes spikes, or you’re someone who has never felt any sexual desire at all, or someone who wants sex a lot, you are sex positive when you respect other’s free expression of it, and this includes the frequency in which they want it or with whom they have it. You get to pick what sex you have and with whom or how many you have it, no one else. Anyone who tells you otherwise under the mantle of ‘sex positivity’ is, as everyday feminism so eloquently put, employing “sexual coercion cloaked in faux-progressive language. If someone is calling you a prude or sex-negative for not having sex with them, they’re violating your consent and their opinion of you is invalid. And just because you want to create a world in which everyone is empowered to make the sexual choices they want doesn’t mean that you personally have to be interested in casual sex.”

🚫 Sex positivity means sex is healthy, so that means I am entitled to sex.

No. It means you are entitled to WANT to have it, but not to have it. In sex as in every other need involving other people (from receiving oral, to boardgames, to conversations, to a hug or affection): Just because you are entitled to want something or even very validly need something, that does not mean someone else is obligated to give it to you. Just because someone needs comfort and company, you are not obligated to give it. Just because someone wants and needs attention, it is not your job to give it. Just because someone wants sex and feels they need it, even if they are your partner, you are not obligated to give it. This can be frustrating, of course. But NO: Just because you want sex, you are not entitled to have it. Ever. From anyone. No one owes you sex, not even if you’re married to them. Everyone has their own sexual agency, and everyone needs to respect it. In fact, feeling entitled to sex lies at the base of sexual aggressive behavior of all kind, and the idea that your own desire for sexual activity rates higher in priority than the individual needs of the person you’re coercing it from. It’s at the root of rape culture, and something we must all internalize to overcome it: Despite you wanting something and it being healthy to have it or to get this something, no one owes it to us or is obligated to give it to us.

🚫 Sex positivity means you have no problems with sex.

No. The term positivity of course often brings overtly positive connotations with it: something easy and happy. Of course, sex positivity doesn’t require you to have an easy or happy relationship with sex and sexuality. Sex can be traumatising, uncomfortable, regrettable, awkward, unpleasant, confusing, or plain boring and uninteresting to you. Even if it isn’t traumatising or painful, it can still be hell of a lot frustrating navigating it and your own desires. Body image issues or and religious restrictions that can be important to you or not, never having orgasmed but really really wanting to, the feelings of not ever having encountered sex that’s truly fun for you, all of these and many, many more are the giant maze that can arise when navigating sexuality in our lives. None of these means you aren’t sex positive. It’s here for survivors of sexual violence and aggression and those who want to reclaim their sexual agency, sexual empowerment and self-expression, just as it is here for asexuals, demisexuals, aromantics, or anyone else. It’s the belief that we have a right to a healthy sexuality without being shamed, violated, sanctioned or discriminated for it, and that we have a right to our boundaries as well as our fantasies.

So, I’m guessing most of you knew this intuitively all along. I’m preaching to the choir. However, seeing it written down often helps us in expressing ourselves, and in the way we confidently navigate our own sexual empowerment.

And, with smutember on the horizon again, when we once again try to incorporate sex positivity in our writing, too, it might serve as a good reminder that we help along the normalisation of sex positivity whenever we portray it in media in general, and fiction specifically! I hope one day we will take all this fully for granted, and everyone around us, too!

#smutember2020 #sex ed #on consent #on sex positivity #celebrating sex positivity together #long post #🍋

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tessatechaitea · 4 years

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Cerebus #3

Time for some good chafing gags!

I love Cerebus. Once I began buying the monthly issues, I stuck with it until Issue #300, no matter how bored I had become with Cerebus's explication of Genesis. I stuck with it because it had entertained me so much and because I loved the idea of a comic book series with a character who grows and changes and eventually dies as an old, decrepit, huge delusional mess. Or was he delusional? Yeah, I think he was. By the end, I think we're supposed to realize Rick was the protagonist? Whoops! I'm getting ahead of myself. I'm still in the issues where I don't have to think too hard about anything and can just sit back and laugh at jokes about chain mail bikinis and a woman who will only fuck somebody who overpowers her physically! What I meant to say before I interrupted myself like usual, I kept with the series because I loved so much of it. Not all of it, of course. Who could love all of it?! Dave Sim was writing things that kept himself interested and wasn't too worried about, say, keeping the audience that loved Church & State while writing Melmoth, or expecting people who loved Guys to be enthusiastic about Coming Home. I appreciated this comic book so much that it's the only reason that I kept purchasing monthly comic books as I entered my thirties. I had gotten to the point where my brain was having too much trouble remembering all the different comic book story lines with a full month long gaps between each twenty-four page bit of story. So at some point just past the year 2000, I decided I'd stop reading monthly comics altogether after March 2004, the final issue of Cerebus. After that, I kept up with Fables and Walking Dead via collected editions. But I was done reading monthlies (until The New 52 somehow dragged me back in to do that blog project!). So yeah. I was (and still am!) a huge Cerebus fan. But that doesn't mean I'm not going to be critical of the series and the writer. Dave Sim makes a lot of mistakes and I'm going to have a lot of fun pointing them out! You might not think they're mistakes but I ask that you hold your comments until the end (you know, my review of Issue #300!) because why would I want to argue on the Internet with other huge comic book nerds? We're the worst! One person I'll never criticize because I don't think they ever do anything wrong: Gerhard! That fucking work horse nails it throughout the entire series! Nothing much to say about Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" since all she says is how she has nothing to say. I was hoping she'd admit to rubbing one out over one of Dave's finished Red Sophia pages but my horrible male nerd projections about how women act once more didn't come to fruition. How is it everything I learned about women from female comic book characters turned out to be so wrong?! I refuse to believe it's because most of them were written by men. Men are so rational and logical! They wouldn't have steered me wrong!

I should probably do a little research on Frank Thorne.

Frank Thorne was best known for his work on Marvel's Red Sonja. Yes, I lifted that directly from Wikipedia. But I typed it myself! Another thing I learned from Wikipedia (I'd do more research than just Wikipedia but I don't want to wind up on YouTube where I'll not only learn about Frank Thorne's artistic history but also that the American Democratic party runs a pedophile sex traffic ring and also something about cannibals? I mean, it sounds like something I'd like to believe!) is that Thorne wrote a book called How to Draw Sexy Women. So, you know, he's probably one of my heroes? Frank Thorne is currently 90 years old and he might have the most adorable picture of anybody on Wikipedia.

I want to be best friends with him right now. Six year old me would have been over the moon in love with him (I had a Grandfather Fixation when I was really young that probably had nothing to do with my father leaving when I was two).

This issue not only introduces Red Sophia but also the wizard Henrot. That's an anagram of "Thorne"! Red Sophia is an anagram for "Hi! Do Rapes." I don't agree with that at all. I'm just the anagram messenger. I'm also not suggesting that Dave Sim knew what he was doing anagrammatically! I mean with the Red Sophia anagram. He definitely meant the Henrot/Thorne one! Cerebus has returned to civilization but now needs some quick cash because one thing Cerebus always needs is quick cash. He's only wealthy a few times and those times don't usually last long. He goes to see Henrot (who allegedly gets his power from two of the five Spheres of the Gods! So now we kind of know more about those things even if it is just a rumor) to question him about any paying mercenary gigs.

You might think the missing word in Henrot's dialogue was a mistake by Dave Sim but later we'll probably learn in, I don't know, Issue #143 that Henrot's first language is Borelean to account for this seeming error.

Cerebus doesn't usually take assassination or torture jobs because he finds them distasteful but he needs the money. Sure, he'll take any job that has him killing people in battle or invading private wizard's towers to murder the owner and steal the owner's stuff. But assassination and torture? So wrong! Once Cerebus takes the job, he learns that he was to take Henrot's daughter, Red Sophia, along with him. The target besmirched her honor so she needs to watch him die slowly and painfully. Is this where the MeToo hashtag goes?

Red Sophia drawing tutorial: Draw some big tits, some big lips, and a big mass of hair. Connect them with some kind of woman shaped lines. Ta-da!

Red Sophia chatters incessantly and dances around while Cerebus carries all of the gear. It's funny because female characters get to represent all women instead of being a unique character! Ha ha! Women really do talk a lot, right? And they're always all, "Carry my purse for me!" And guys are all like, "Stifle your emotions like a normal person! Carry your own purse! Stop dancing around whimsically and try to act tough and cool like regular people do! Play some sports already! Take care of me like you were my replacement mother!" In the "A Note from the Publisher," Deni wrote that since the first issue (remember the first issue? So many issues ago!), Dave had wanted to write a story where Cerebus interacts with a female. She doesn't say Dave wanted to write a female character. He just wanted Cerebus to interact with a female. So I guess that's what this is! Cerebus interacts with a female stereotype who is also a sex fantasy. Not because she's hot but because she constantly tries to fuck Cerebus throughout their adventure! What sword and sorcery reading nerd didn't dream of that three or four times a day in a dark room? I'm being harsh on Sim because it's more fun than lavishing praise on him. You can tell Sim realizes the inherent problems with Red Sonja because that's the bulk of his parody. The problem isn't Dave's take on the character; the real problem is simply the character Red Sonja! In 1978, Sim was already commenting on the ridiculous armor artists draw on women (there will be chafing jokes!)! And in this story, Dave Sim expresses how ridiculous it was to create a female character who was raped and then given great fighting skills by some Goddess with the catch that she can never fuck a man unless he beats her in fair combat. Just looking at it from a guy's point of view, I'd probably be all, "You know what? I don't want those powers. Could you maybe just strike down the asshole who raped me and let me not have to attempt to beat up every woman I'm attracted to?" Is that enough hot takes on Red Sophia? Cause I want to get to the part of this review where I can admit that I fucking love her so much. Later Cerebus meets Elrod who is really just Foghorn Leghorn. I'm pretty sure Red Sophia was less Red Sonja than Pepé Le Pew. I know, I know! There are probably some sensitive reasons why I'm not supposed to like Pepé too! But he was my mother's favorite Looney Tunes character! Anyway, I can't blame Dave Sim for making his first female character about 75% stereotypes of women. He's still a young writer! You've got to give him about another 183 issues to really clarify his stance on the interactions between genders! I'm sure it'll be more layered, nuanced, and rational.

Cerebus might be an Earth Pig but he's not a chauvinist pig. He doesn't take sexual advantage of Red Sophia here; he just makes her carry all the gear. It's a good joke that I'm ruining by explaining it instead of scanning in the punchline!

Just for comparison, let's take a look at a modern interpretation of Red Sonja by Ed Benes. I bet just that artist's name alone gives male comic book nerds a chubby. Not a full on hard on though. Those are probably reserved for hearing the name "Frank Cho."

What do they teach in art school? Women can turn 180 degrees at the waist? Not that I'm complaining! Dark room, here I come!

Oh shit. I forgot I was reading this comic book! Okay, um, so Red Sophia attacks Cerebus for besmirching her honor. Or Cerebus attacks Red Sophia for knocking him into a bush with her ass. Maybe it's a little bit of both. Anyway, Cerebus defeats her so Red Sophia begins throwing her ample bosom at Cerebus every chance she gets. Cerebus is not interested for some reason. Maybe it's because he stuck a sword in his vagina when he was younger? That happened, right? Or was that a flashback about him having his period? Now that I'm thinking about it...what the fuck is this comic book? I think maybe I hallucinated some of it! Cerebus isn't a fucking slut, man! He doesn't just fuck any hot woman whom he defeats in battle! He needs to fall in love and/or get completely wrecked on Peach Schnapps. So he has no interest in Red Sophia. I suppose a woman trying to kill you is a bit of a turn off. And then later, when she gets you into a fight with Thugg the Unseemly, it's less of an aphrodisiac than you might think.

I think Borelean might be Red Sophia's first language as well. I mean, she is Henrot's daughter.

The Letterer part of Dave Sim has already fucked up twice this issue. I bet he was too busy having his sword and sorcery fantasies in a dark room to pay close attention to the script. This is probably why Dave Sim eventually gave up masturbation. Later, Red Sophia feeds Cerebus granola and it totally cracks Dave Sim up. He said so in the Swords of Cerebus essay! Didn't you read it? I, for one, prefer the joke on the following page about Cerebus being a cannibal. Or an aardvark who eats human meat, anyway. I think that's close enough to cannibalism. We learn later that aardvarks can have offspring with humans so I feel like the aardvarks in this book are less sentient funny talking animals and more severely deformed human beings.

Red Sophia's tent. If this we were well into Mothers & Daughters when this tent made an appearance, I'd think Dave purposefully drew it this way. Since we're only on Issue #3, I think he was just feeling horny when he drew it.

If at any time during this review I've referred to Red Sophia as Red Sonja, just remember that English is my second language. I'm Borelean. I apologize to Dave Sim for earlier suggesting that Red Sophia was simply a bunch of female stereotypes mashed together into a character. As I said, I love her. I figured I probably started loving her after she makes several more appearances but I'm pretty sure this is the page where I knew needed more Red Sophia in my life.

How can you not be completely charmed by the "I'm pretty good at hand-holding" line?

This is a good reminder that I shouldn't be judging early Dave Sim by Issue #186 Dave Sim and beyond. He should always get the benefit of the doubt and, even after #186, he should retain it. I need to be reading the material both with fresh eyes as if reading it for the first time and with the knowledge of the whole in an attempt to understand it better. This scene is just so fucking charming that I hate that it might be ruined for many people based on their "knowledge" of Dave Sim. I put knowledge in quotes because, really, how many people who think of Dave as a misogynist have actually read Cerebus or Tangent? How many have just heard they're supposed to despise him because he's been called a misogynist? I mean, sure, you just have to read a bunch of his Biblical explications to understand you're dealing with something other than neurotypical! But it'd be nice if more people came to their Dave Sim conclusions themselves instead of just jumping on the bandwagon. I'm not saying people who think he's a misogynist aren't automatically wrong! Dave thinks they are but come on. He eventually gives out a lot of slack with which to make quite a few nooses to hang himself with. Um, okay, back to not judging Cerebus based on future Dave's rants about the Marxist/feminist/homosexual axis! Cerebus and Sophia finally reach the target where Cerebus discovers that the target, Tanes Feras, loves Sophia. And just like that, he figures out how to get rid of Sophia while also torturing Feras (possibly to death? Time will tell!). He commands Sophia to marry Feras because she must do whatever he asks. Sure, she thought it would involved his super long tongue and her metal-chafed butthole. But that's the great thing about love! It doesn't care what you want. Henrot seems to accept this conclusion for now. He'll definitely be back later. And so will Red Sophia. I can't wait!

The map of Cerebus's world by Deni's brother, Clovis. He ran out of ideas when he got to "Ocean Sea."

I'll have to remember to keep referring back to this map throughout the series. Although I'll probably only need it for the first twenty-five issues. And then maybe after Mothers & Daughters. Nothing noteworthy in Aardvark Comment this month. Just some Canadians saying things like, "Glad to see a Canadian comic book from Canada about Canada!" Which is confusing because I didn't realize how much of Cerebus was representative of Canada. I've really got to rethink my Canadian stereotypes. Now I'll be sure to picture Canadians as 50% Cerebus and 50% Joey Jeremiah. Cerebus #3 Rating: B+. Sim's art remains a bit more on the amateurish side than the professional side. But that's to be expected. Already you can see improvements in the consistency of Cerebus's look and I think maybe his snout is already getting shorter and girthier. This was the first issue where he drew a woman so I can't fault him for drawing a blow-up doll in a chain mail bikini. Why would I? I'd never fault anybody for drawing a blow-up doll in a chain mail bikini! I also just thought up a new category to search on eBay. This issue begins to show where Sim really excels: his characters. The first two issues basically highlight Cerebus dealing with a few generic characters. But Red Sophia (and Henrot to a lesser extent) captures the spotlight this issue. Ignoring some of the shallow aspects of her character creation (if you even believe those exists. Don't take my super-professional critical opinion on it!), she's really rather charming and a competent foil for the Earth Pig. Just knowing that she's the tip of the iceberg in the gallery of recurring characters excites me more than those fantasies I keep having in my dark room.

#Cerebus #Dave Sim

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fourteenacross · 5 years

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octet - 5/25/19, 2pm

Hello, hello, I'm back from New Jersey! Which, you probably didn't even know I left, because I never post here anymore, but since we've yet to find a new platform for fannish happenings, I don't really have anywhere else to post show notes and the like.

Anyway, we saw Octet and Hadestown over the long weekend. I saw Hadestown at the NYTW in 2016, but I saw it the same day I saw Hamilton for the first time and my notes are lost to the ages. More about that later, though. (Tomorrow, probably.) For now, I'm going to focus on Octet.

So, here's what I knew about Octet going in: - Part of Dave Malloy's five year residency at the Signature Theatre - internet/discourse - Alex Gibson - a cappella? - support group?

The day before I did a little bit more digging, but I was kind of into going in blind, so I didn't dig too much.

Overall, I really liked it! My above the cut review is that, like all good Malloy shows, it brought up a lot of interesting concepts and shined a light on very relatable behaviors and ways of thinking. It doesn't really have a plot or narrative, and seems to largely exist to explore different types of internet denizens. As such, the characters vacillate between being actual people and being archetypes. I think all of this is fine--not everything needs to be a tautly plotted story, it's okay for this to be a song cycle, not a narrative musical. But I'm putting that out there for anyone who's thinking about going, just so you're aware when you head in.

First off, the set dressing is amazing. It looks just like a ratty church all purpose room, down to the way the light switches are labelled and the signs on the wall with clean-up instructions for group leaders. The walk in is papered with flyers advertising self-help groups, tutoring, charity walks, etc.

The show is set up like a support group meeting. A couple actors come in before the start and clean up the detritus of a bingo game and set up for the meeting, and then the group gathers and they begin. The group is “Friends of Saul,” and group members are told to put their phones off and in a basket against the wall, as they're here for various screen addictions.

Hymn: The Forest: This was a very Malloy song--it starts off a a meditation on a beautiful forest and takes a left turn. Delightful. Halfway through, Velma comes into the meeting and joins the other seven folks for the end of the hymn.

Refresh: Paula, the group leader, welcomes Velma to the group and tells them that Saul can’t be here this week, but he’s asked her to lead. She then asks if anyone wants to share. Jessica acquiesces and talks about how she was the subject of a viral video and has been "egosurfing" ever since, a compulsion to read all the shitty things strangers are saying about her without knowing her at all. (Unsurprisingly, Malloy says this song was heavily influenced by his feelings post-Comet.) Margo Seibert kills this song, which delves into our kneejerk tendency to pile on, sometimes without knowing or caring about context. It made me think a lot about how this goes both ways--the song focused on the negative, but obviously Milkshake Duck Syndrome is the same basic concept at its core.

Candy: Henry offers to share next. He talks about how his life is going okay at the moment, he's been on a few dates, but he hasn't had the heart to tell the guy about his "problem" yet, which is that he's addicted to video games. The song obviously invokes Candy Crush, but also refers to various other games including MMORPGs, FPSs, RPGs, and other phone puzzles games. I love this song--it is insanely catchy, Alex Gibson is delightful, and it's also profoundly sad and relatable. Henry eventually reveals that he uses games to avoid the real world and he's fairly sure he doesn't care if he dies, so he uses these games to string himself along and pass the time. Ouch. Also hashtag relatable content.

Glow: Paula shares next and talks about how she and her husband are both screen addicts and how they'll lie next to each other in bed, each on their own devices, ignoring the other, and how she wishes he would stop bringing the catastrophes of the world into their bed. She's lonely and sad and he doesn't see it because he doesn't look up from his phone. Starr Busby is incredible and, as a person who had to take an eight-month twitter break because she couldn’t handle the constant barrage of despair, I feel this song pretty hard.

Fugue State: Paula sets a metronome ticking for a five minute silent fugue state. The characters cycle through various thoughts about social media and the internet, calling out specific formatting for jokes and call out posts and "um actually"ing other people's comments in a whirlwind of commentary on how we interact with each other online. It's a very well put together song, but it's another one of those moments where it's clear this is a collection of songs about a concept rather than a narrative story.

Hymn: Monster: There's a five minute break, in which Henry approaches Velma, who's been quiet up to this point. She launches into a fast and awkward explanation of how she's on a self-imposed internet hiatus because she keeps getting tied up in discourse that's not good for her. She talks about being a part of a previous group that was not good and how she's since gotten into tarot instead, but there are parts of that group that aren't good, too (she delves into the Sephora Starter Witch Kit debacle), so instead she's taking a break and only talking to her one friend, whom she refers to constantly as "my friend." It was a very stark moment of self-recognition, tee bee aitch, and Velma is definitely the closest to the fannish millennial internet archetype. She says she found the group after Saul broke into a chat with her friend to tell her about it, so her friend said she had to come to check it out. After her monologue about all of this to Henry, the others return from their break to sing a hymn called "Monster" that talks about online trolls and how engaging with them and reading their exploits poisons your brain.

Solo: Karly and Ed alternate in this song, coming together in moments of similar sentiment. It's really an interesting way to handle the topics in question. Karly is singing about dating apps and how hard it is to find a dude who actually cares about her and the thin line between being asserting herself and the possibility of being the impetus for another MRA mass shooting. Ed, meanwhile, is a lonely dude who is on the verge of turning to the incel community because they can relate to his feelings of rejection and isolation. The whole thing is creepy and awful and very well blended--there's some empathy on both sides, while also making it clear how awful these dudes are.

Actually: This is Toby's song. Toby is a former punk kid turned conspiracy theorist. This is the song I struggled with the most. I just couldn't follow it narratively--I wasn't even 100% positive about the "conspiracy theorist" part until I could come home to read the lyrics. The lighting in this song was wonderful, though, and the ensemble was great. It just didn't click with me and it was harder for me to follow.

Little God: Dang, I loved this bit. It was the weirdest, and also had a distinctly Douglas Adams flavor, which was especially apt as I was attending the show on Towel Day. (So, honestly, it’s not surprising that I liked this bit so much, in retrospect.) Marvin, a neuroscientist, is up late with his new baby daughter when he has a vision from god. He chalks it up to a dream until god appears to him again the next morning. He goes to his lab, where all the other scientists have had a similar experience, and god appears to them in the visage of a little girl, whom they call Little God. They do a series of tests to prove whether god is real, and can manage to find scientific explanations for them all, trapped in this cycle of seeing wonderful things and then dissecting them clinically. Velma ends his story by telling him he's "The Hanged Man," the tarot card that represents everything one believes about oneself being flipped on its head.

Tower Tea Ceremony: The group starts a tea ceremony, passing around cups of tea, after which Paula comes around adding drops of something to the cups. Velma nervously asks what it is, and Paula calmly explains that it's a powerful group psychedelic that induces a five minute coma. Everyone else is chill with this, but Velma is visibly startled and nervous and does not drink her tea. Everyone else passes out, leaving her alone.

Beautiful: While everyone else is passed out, Velma sings her story. She was lonely and felt ugly and fat and stupid. She spent a lot of time alone and cut herself, but eventually found another girl just like her on the other side of the world. She had the same interests and liked the same things and felt the same way. She tells Velma that she's worthwhile and that there's light inside of her and, through seeing the same within her friend, she's able to start to accept that about herself. Kuhoo Verma is something else entirely on this song. It felt so personal and quiet and perfect. And, to be honest, it really anchored the show for me. After almost twenty-five years of being a nerdy, lonely kid on the internet, I tend to be very kneejerk protective of internet friendships. When people deride the internet as toxic, my urge is always to defend it because it's the source of all the good things in my life. I didn't have a lot of friends as a kid and I was socially anxious, but the internet was a way for me to meet other people who liked the same weird things I liked. These days that's a much more common, accepted story, but it was weird and new in 1996, so I spent a lot of years either lying about how I knew my friends or insisting that the internet wasn't just pedophiles and murderers. Obviously in the years since, the internet has grown into something bigger and, frequently, more toxic than I could have imagined at ten, eleven years old on the AOL Jonny Quest message boards. The urge to defend it has never gone away, however, and so I was obviously a little nervous about this show. But I trust Dave and I know that he's a big ol' nerd like the rest of us and doesn't pretend to be above our petty, silly forms of entertainment. And I'm glad I did, because it's important to me that this was the song he ended on--a quiet reminder that there's good to be found on the internet, that it's not all bad, that parts of it can be life-saving.

Hymn: The Field: The show ends with the group closing out their meeting with another hymn. Paula tells everyone next week’s meeting will be somewhere else and that she’ll email the details. Velma says she isn’t sure if she’ll come back, and she’s told that it doesn’t matter—the same people don’t always come week to week, but Saul will make sure there are eight people in attendance. The hymn is a nice, sweet song about coming together beyond the fighting and ugliness to appreciate each other and the world.

So, yeah, overall, I enjoyed it. I really needed to sit and think about it for a little bit after first seeing it, and I think repeat listenings will find a lot more to enjoy about it. Like I said, there’s not so much a story or narrative to get lost in, but the individual songs hold up well in the loose framework of the show, and a lot of them are both catchy and thought-provoking in a very Malloy way. I’m glad I got to see it, and I’m interested to see where it goes from here, if anywhere.

#octet #dave malloy #show notes

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kindabraveandlittlestupid · 6 years

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Try not to get caught up with the labels: Feminist, Equalist, or Humanist. The tag matters less than the larger goal society should set out to achieve. Equality for all and sometimes Equity to make small tips to the scale where needed. I am not afraid of embracing the concept of being a Male Feminist because my world is saturated by politics and I understand the players. I know the villains who wish to pit Feminist against Equalist or Humanist are doing so not because they believe any of the labels but because they benefit from the distraction between like-minded individuals who seek the same goals. Most men are not in the social position to be “The Patriarchy” but those men of wealth and power through industry, politics, or religion are the Patriarchy. An so long as they can make Men believe Women are a threat to them, that Black Lives Matter is a danger to White Americans or that Immigrants are taking the wealth of the country, these powerful men do very well so long as we keep fighting with the person next to us instead of realizing the real villains are often above us.

This is one reason why I like the idea of the Rise of Matriarchs in American Society. We can rattle these men’s cages and make them aware their power is suspect to change by a greater majority of society. This is not to say women cannot be corrupted by wealth and power as well but societies that have a more representative/diverse governments tend to be LESS corrupt and that is a step towards progress everyone benefits (except the extremely wealthy men who clutch power).

This post (despite the starter above) is not a political breakdown post though I plan to write on these subjects more in the future. Instead, it's more of clarification of my views and where I stand on various topics related to feminism. I realize there are topics that I might not touch base on and if you want me to add one you can shoot me a note. I also might hold opinions that do not take an absolutist view towards a topic and in today's politics that can be dangerous on the left and right because anyone who isn't falling in line 100% can be labeled a traitor to the cause or party.

Access to Birth Control and Planned Parenthood

I am always bewildered how nonsensical conservatives are in regards to these topics. The very best means of avoiding abortions is education, family planning, and birth control which prevent young women from having to make a difficult choice. Despite this, they believe in abstinence and try to remove birth control basically pushing more young women into the realm of motherhood because of a few minutes of passion that will ultimately decide the next 18+ years of their lives!

I believe Planned Parenthood should be available and welcome in each community to ensure that young women and men are protected, educated, and equipped with the proper means of avoiding unwanted pregnancies. I also believe condoms, IUDs, Birth Control Pills and Plan B’s should be available on the cheap and discreet to further protection. Lastly, Birth Control should be covered by insurance, even business insurance regardless of the employers personal/religious views. In other words, I am pretty damn liberal on this.

Abortion Rights (Link)

There are fewer choices a woman might face more difficult then deciding if she should or should not get an Abortion. I wrote in detail about this topic before so I will give you the short version. I believe NO ONE likes the idea of a abortion but those of us who understand the issue also know that forcing any woman regardless of age, race or social position to give birth also not ok. We in society should make this choice informative and safe. We do that by having comprehensive sexual education and birth control to be the ‘front line’ of avoiding this difficult choice. If she decides to take the next step or explore her options it shouldn't be done by bullshit church clinics attempting to use shame, guilt or false information to change her views but institutions that provide her all the options and information she could need to make the choice that's best for her. Everything should be her choice without influence from the community, the church, her parents or even the male involved. Aftercare programs should also be there to help her no matter what choice she chooses.

I think we should aim for the 20 weeks (Recent science article suggests this is possible when the babies consciousness kicks in. Open to changing if the article ends up being false) and under as the optimal time to make the choice. However, I am open to learning more on this topic and discussing if the “when” should be pushed further back. Lastly, if it comes down the choice between saving the mother or unborn fetus, I believe the mother's life is more important unless she deems otherwise. There are few political topics where I think men should shut up and let women decide... this is one of them.

Paid Family Leave

This isn't just a woman's issue but also a men's issue as well. I would actually argue this is a progressive issue as both the father and mother both deserve to take part in raising a child in those early stages. We need to consider this as a long-standing social program to allow career-oriented adults (both male and female) to continue their careers but also to support their family. We also need to ensure employers don't attempt to punish these women (and men) by skipping over them for promotions or refusing raises because they decided to have a child.

There is no argument from me that women deserve a longer leave of absence being the one who gave birth and breastfeeds the baby. I think both parents could benefit from this sort of social net and it's important we build it in such a way that it also covers two mothers or two fathers and even adoption.

Girls Education

With a better education for girls in the United States (and for the matter the world) has proven to improve economies, lower crime and even slow overpopulation because academic opportunity provides new options instead of simply being a wife/mother (nothing wrong with those if you choose that as part of your lifestyle). This is still a major issue as there are still countries that place girls education as secondary to boys education. Even if they are far away it is still our responsibility to ensure girls rights to an education is provided for them. Its pretty clear I believe in this topic wholeheartedly, however if you know me then you know there is more often then not a but around the corner.

The only caveat I can think to note is Female only education programs. An example of this is Girls Who Code that teaches programming to young girls. I love this program and I think its great they are trying to narrow the tech industry gap by pushing for more female coders. However, as someone who worked in a non-profit industry for a few years and created co-ed athletic leagues, there is value in having boys work with girls. These young women won't be working with only females forever, eventually, they will have to work with male coders and gender segregation robs them of that early experience. On a second point (and the real thing the operators of this program are missing out on) it is the fact if they have males in their class/program they can catch/alter/adjust the problematic behavior of male students to make them the new gold standard of how a male coder should act with their female coworkers. I suppose this is all just perception but I always believed its better to have both genders work together so they might view each other as equals rather embrace a gender segregation to achieve some corporate goal of having a bigger female workforce without address the issue of toxic male work environments.

MeToo Movement

I admit I am of mixed feelings about the MeToo Movement. I hesitate to support ANY movement that relies heavily on the court of public opinion. I worry about the history we all have and how sharp this social edge is at cutting down men (and women) who stand accused of any transgression. At the same time, I understand this is the reaction when sexual assault (verbal or physical) is simply swept under the rug for decades.

It scares me a little making me wonder if I ever pushed something too far. I think of jobs were I work with men and we goof off telling stories but having female coworkers nearby. They participated in the tales but I feel a dreadful concern that one or more of them simply played along trying not to make a fuss. Perhaps I made someone feel uncomfortable online at some point in the past.

Lord knows I was a victim myself to a young stalker who drove past my work taking pics and texting the line “LOL. I know where you work”. I was only able to make her stop harassment when she texted things like she was gonna lie to the police and send me to jail and I replied back with the screenshots of the whole conversation making her think how they (the police) might react when I share the text logs (clearly she didn't think her grand plan thru). I also endured a few indecent encounters with drunk women (usually on Saint Patricks Day) when I wear my kilt to the bar and they lift the edge to get a peek. I politely laughed it off and brush their hand away trying to ignore the fact they were we attempting to see if I was wearing the kilt authentically.

When you’re the victim of something like this you know it in your core that people were mistreating you. I know I never groped a woman, physically assaulted anyone or flashed myself but have I made improper jokes and I hope I never made anyone feel uncomfortable.

In the end, the MeTooMovement is a good thing. It needs to evolve into the next stage taking on a political form where it becomes not just a hashtag and social media post but evolve into real-world policy and social change that adjusts how men treat women in society (and the occasional female on male transgression). We can all do a little better and MeToo has the momentum to perhaps create a lasting social change by creating consent and decency program that could be taught both in schools and also in adult careers.

Women in Politics (Link)

I touched base with this topic before and I am pretty comfortable in my position. We don’t need more women in politics, we need more Smart Women in politics (and for that matter, we could do with some smarter men as well). Women make roughly between 20 to 30% of the leadership positions in government. Champions like Lee, Clinton, Warren, and Collins make up some of the smartest women in politics and bring a character with them that makes not only Washington better but the whole country better.

The reason why I make the distinction between “More Smart Women in Politics” and just “More Women in Politics” because of women like DeVos, Palin, Bachmann, and Sanders exist. Really just stupid stupid people who don’t know nor care about the long-term effect of their policies and their divisive rhetoric. We could do better than the likes of them and I hope this 2018 election brings a wave of strong/smart women who will balance out this government to something more representing of the country... 50/50.

NOTE: Preferably a BLUE wave of strong women.

Conclusion

I handpicked these topics because they relate to women's issues. By no means are these topics the only thing women care about but they connect deeply with feminism. As I said above if there is something you care for me to add to the list and hear my personal views/beliefs then shoot me a note. If we do not agree 100% on a topic I ask you to reflect on what I write before writing a hot worded post. If you have an opposing or slightly different view on a subject and think I could benefit from hearing a feminine take on a topic, by all means, share your post (and links to information). I am always evolving in my opinions and alternative views with thoughtful insight commonly shift my views. As always thanks for reading.

Regards Michael California

#Male Feminist #Supporting Women #Progressive #Liberal #Politics #GirlsWhoCode #Women in Politics #MeToo #Me Too Movement #Abortion #Abortion Rights #Pro Choice #Planned Parenthood #Paid Family Leave #Girls Education #Equality #Equity

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ghchgc · 3 years

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phooll123 · 4 years

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New top story from Time: state of black history

Freshman year of high school can make anyone feel lost, but Seattle teen Janelle Gary felt especially lost when she entered high school in 2015. After she was forced to move when her building was demolished, part of a wave of gentrification driving out residents of the historically black Central District neighborhood, she ended up in an honors class where she was one of the few black students.

And, she says, black perspectives were also in the minority within most of her classes. In her honors history class, she felt the teacher was “tip-toeing” around hard race-related questions and “trying to avoid” a controversial discussion — for example, when it came to the role race played in the government’s response to the Hurricane Katrina cleanup. But things were different in her Ethnic Studies class, where teacher Jesse Hagopian didn’t shy away from looking at the impact of race on both history and current events.

Hagopian knows what it’s like to be the only black kid in an honors class because he was that kid too. In college, a class on race in society encouraged him to challenge the way he had always thought about race. “When I graduated college,” he says, “I decided the best thing I could do was teach [kids] these issues in high school before they dropped out.” Now, 2020 will be the second year Hagopian and a group of other educators inspired by the Black Lives Matter movement have organized a national Black Lives Matter Week of Action in Schools. Thousands of teachers—including in the three largest school districts, New York City, Los Angeles and Chicago—will wear “Black Lives Matter” shirts to school and teach lessons on black history and race issues from February 3 to February 7. Among their demands is Black History and Ethnic Studies to be required classes at all K-12 schools.

Their call to action echoes a line from TIME magazine’s 1963 cover story on James Baldwin’s rise to fame, when the scholar said, “I began to be bugged by the teaching of American history, because it seemed that history had been taught without cognizance of my presence.”

February marks Black History Month. Dating back to 1976, it’s an expansion of “Negro History Week” started February 7, 1926, by Carter G. Woodson, known as “the father of Black History,” as time “set aside…for the purpose of emphasizing what has already been learned about the Negro during the year,” as Woodson once explained.

But nationwide, secondary school teachers are going out of their way to teach African and African history not only during the month of February, but year-round as Woodson envisioned.

SECTION HEADER TK

But even now, when students learn black history, they’re generally learning about the same people over and over again: Rosa Parks, Martin Luther King Jr., Harriet Tubman, Barack Obama. Teachers and students alike tell TIME that there’s little variation, overall, in what such lessons cover.

And there’s a reason for that, says LaGarrett King, Professor of Social Studies Education and Founding Director of the Carter Center for K12 Black History Education.

“One of the main problems with us getting black history right is we are still trying to use this notion that black history is American history, which sounds good,” says King. But, he says, that creates a problem when American history is taught, as it often is, as a story in which “every generation has improved our society.” The narrative of constant improvement imposes a tendency to make excuses, to attempt to argue that only some “bad people” in American history were racist, and to move quickly through topics that might make white students feel guilty. In addition, black stories often end up told through a white lens, and stories of black people resisting in any way other than nonviolent protest—like Denmark Vesey‘s rebellion—are left out.

“Black history is typically taught through European contact,” King says. “If the first time that black people enter the school curriculum is through when they’re enslaved, that gives the impression these particular people were not that important to American democracy and didn’t contribute to the intellectual development to the country.”

“students walk away from our schools with no knowledge of African civilizations. TKTK, I can tell you’re making a note to yourself. This section is still a bit disorganized but I think this is going in the right direction.

“The last major narrative of black presence in U.S. history tends to be the civil rights movement,” says Christopher Busey, a professor at the University of Florida’s School of Teaching and Learning who, with Irenea Walker, studied how Black History is represented in social studies standards, “and that’s largely presented as successful [because of the] Civil Rights Act and the Voting Rights Act. So what ends up happening is, when we have more contemporary movements such as Black Lives Matter, people are largely unable to make sense of it because we skipped the war on drugs with Reagan and the targeting of black communities by police. Their last conceptions of black citizenship are tied to this idea that we all had a dream and that we overcame and then Obama [was elected President].”

Another challenges is that many in the mostly-white teacher population have not taken a course on black history themselves, and may not feel comfortable teaching it.

Ursula Wolfe-Rocca, 44, a white high school social studies teacher who teaches black history year-round in a World History class in an affluent mostly white school district in the Portland, Ore., area, said the best school-wide teach-in on Black History was in response to racist graffiti found in the bathroom. But, she says, she’s seen resistance to incorporating black history into the curriculum because white teachers don’t feel prepared to talk about race. “It reinforces the fundamental flaw which is that black history is seen as peripheral or black lives are seen as peripheral in every context,” she says, “so it feels like a burden to them.”

She says is often asked what it’s like to teach black history in a predominantly white school. “The subtext is always, ‘black history is for black students.’ The answer to why do white kids need black history is that it is history and it’s their history too,” she says. “It’s a shared collective past.”

H2 Here: things are changing

When Carter G. Woodson wrote his first black history articles, he was responding to lynchings. He started a publication called the Negro History Bulletin in 1937 to talk about, blacks in civil war, that was a little mag, sent to the churches and sunday schools and public schools, that’s how they learned about it,

The civil rights movement of the ’50s, ’60s, and ’70s led to further growth of this discipline, and inspired students to stage walkouts to ask for more black history classes. And today, in the post-Ferguson world, global events are once again sparking a change in how black history is taught. [This should maybe move to the top section]

“Whenever there’s a tragedy in black America, there’s always been an uptick on black history courses, most recently Black Lives Matter and police shootings,” says King. Just as social media fueled the Black Lives Matter movement, it’s fueled discussion among teachers on how to contextualize these current events, such as hashtags on Twitter like #FergusonSyllabus and #CharlottesvilleSyllabus.

“I have spent so much time talking about Black Lives Matter over the last two years and I’ve had to weave Black Lives Matter into my lectures on various topics because students — both K-12 and college level — heard about the movement, and they wanted to figure out how does this connect to what happened in the ’60s or even earlier. They wanted to understand what they were seeing on television,” Keisha N. Blain, professor of History at the University of Pittsburgh, who has taught K-12 students in summer programs.

And the teachers who are pushing for change aren’t acting alone. [Or some transition like that]

In 2005, Philadelphia became the first major American city that requires students to take a Black History class to graduate. Seven states have launched commissions designed to oversee state mandates to teach Black History in public schools, and Illinois requires colleges and universities to offer Black History courses. To meet rising demand, there are six Black History textbooks on the market, and go-to websites for online resources include Teaching Tolerance, Teaching for Change, Zinn Education Project, and Rethinking Schools.

For the past two years, The College Board has been piloting an Advanced Placement seminar in the African Diaspora, developed in partnership with Columbia University’s Teachers College, the University of Notre Dame and Tuskegee University. In 2019-2020 school year, 11 schools nationwide are piloting the seminar, up from two in the 2017-2018 school year.

“I realized African-American people had a life before they were colonized,” said Tatiana Amaya, 19, freshman at Claremont McKenna College, describing what she learned from the African-American history class in high school and further coursework at a local community college in her senior year.

TK not everywhere is making the same strides As a recent New York Times investigation on textbooks showed, textbooks vary on how much they get into race issues. A Texas textbook attributes the 1950s growth of the suburbs to “crime and congestion” in the cities, while a California textbook points out that African-Americans couldn’t buy houses in these new areas.

Teachers that teach black history year-round are the exception not the rule, so students at schools that don’t teach Black History learn it through family members, at church, such as at Sunday School, or at some kind of “Freedom Schools” that teaches black history during summer and over school breaks, usually with small class sizes, and pairing younger students with older student mentors. (The Children’s Defense Fund runs these programs nationwide, but dozens of programs call themselves “freedom schools” that aren’t affiliated with the non-profit.) While they aren’t preparing students to teach Just as in 1964, 21st century “freedom schools” aim to as ’60s civil rights activist Charlie Cobb put it, “fill an intellectual and creative vacuum” in students lives and “to get them to articulate their own desires, demands, and questions.”

The teaching of Black History in school is “Steadily improving, yet still stagnant,” argues King.

When Martin Luther King, Jr. and Malcolm X are brought up, it’s usually in terms of King as the non-violent one and his expression about advocating for change “by any means necessary” often appears as “opposite” to Martin Luther King Jr.’s strategy of nonviolent resistance. “U.S. curriculum at both elementary and secondary level tends to pit those two against each other,” says Busey, and to frame King as an example to follow and Malcolm X as someone to fear—even though, as LaGarrett King points out, “I haven’t seen any historical record of Malcolm X lynching any white people.”

“It’s okay for white people to have guns but as soon as a black person has a gun, it’s so scary,” as William Anderson, 36, who teaches an Ethnic Studies class in Denver, explains the common misconception that Malcolm X was violent. “I know his rhetoric could make white people uncomfortable.”

But, educators say, that framing means students could miss part of Malcolm X’s life worth emulating, like his resilience. As the son of a father killed by white supremacists and a mother in a psychiatric hospital for nearly three decades, “his life is a beautiful example of what transformation and growth can look like,” says Anderson.

“Before I took an African-American history course, I didn’t realize how much we center black men when it comes to the civil rights movement — Malcolm X, Martin Luther King, Jr., Carter G Woodson. But a lot of the time we left women out—Shirley Chisholm, Ida B. Wells, Fannie Lou Hamer,” says Maye-gan Brown, 22, a senior at Muhlenberg College in Allentown, Penn., who took a required Philadelphia black history class in her freshman year of high school.

The impact of learning African and African-American history is anecdotal at this point, as it’s almost impossible to track what’s happening in the classrooms nationwide on a daily basis. But teachers tell TIME that it’s motiving students to learn. In 2018-2019 school year, 80% of students in the five schools piloting the AP African Diaspora classes, passed the course, including underperforming students, according to Kassie Freeman, a senior faculty fellow at the Institute for Urban and Minority Education at Teachers College, who helped develop the class.

Since Abigail Henry, who teaches African and African-American history to ninth-graders in Philadelphia, started putting historical leaders on trial in mock trial — such as arguing whether George Washington “promoted the institution of slavery” — she noticed special education students “who barely say anything in class, all of a sudden get one of the highest grades” during such interactive lessons.

Learning about Black History inspired civil rights leaders to act. For example, Jeanne Theoharis’s The Rebellious Life of Mrs. Rosa Parks traces the political awakening of Rosa Parks, who became the face of the Montgomery Bus Boycott, to her horror after discovering William Gallo Schell’s 1901 book Is the Negro a Beast? as an eight years old and then becoming determined to “read everything I could” about black history and rebellions against white supremacists when she got to high school.

Students told TIME learning history about their ancestors helped them feel rooted at a time when everything is uprooted with gentrification.

“We’re told you can be anything you want to be as long as you go to school and get an education, yet there hasn’t been investment in my community, and children are passing by abandoned buildings, homeless people, crime scenes and dodging bullets on the way to school. That says, people don’t care about me,” says Brown.

Listening to Malcolm X’s 1964 speech “The Ballot or the Bullet,” Anderson’s student Makaia Loya, 17, an aspiring teacher and social worker, found “situations [Malcolm X] was talking about I could relate to my culture, my family and my history.” For example, when Malcolm X declared, “When you spend your dollar out of the community in which you live, the community in which you spend your money becomes richer and richer, the community out of which you take your money becomes poorer and poorer,” she started rethinking her career goals. “I grew up thinking, ‘I’m getting as far as I can from here, the ghetto. And now I’m like, as soon as Ieave and have something to bring back, I’m coming back.”

Lessons about black history also resonated with Pascagoula, Miss., senior Kinchasa Anderson, 18, during a field trip last fall to Medgar Evers‘ house in Jackson, Miss., where blood stains are still visible on the driveway from when white supremacist Byron de la Beckwith shot the activist on June 12, 1963. “It just struck me — these people really put their life on the line for us, for my generation, for generations to come,” says Anderson.

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itsfinancethings · 4 years

Link

January 27, 2020 at 07:43PM

But nationwide, secondary school teachers are going out of their way to teach African and African history not only during the month of February, but year-round as Woodson envisioned.

SECTION HEADER TK

And there’s a reason for that, says LaGarrett King, Professor of Social Studies Education and Founding Director of the Carter Center for K12 Black History Education.

Another challenges is that many in the mostly-white teacher population have not taken a course on black history themselves, and may not feel comfortable teaching it.

H2 Here: things are changing

And the teachers who are pushing for change aren’t acting alone. [Or some transition like that]

The teaching of Black History in school is “Steadily improving, yet still stagnant,” argues King.

Students told TIME learning history about their ancestors helped them feel rooted at a time when everything is uprooted with gentrification.

#IFTTT #Blogger

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viralnewstime · 4 years

Link

But nationwide, secondary school teachers are going out of their way to teach African and African history not only during the month of February, but year-round as Woodson envisioned.

SECTION HEADER TK

And there’s a reason for that, says LaGarrett King, Professor of Social Studies Education and Founding Director of the Carter Center for K12 Black History Education.

Another challenges is that many in the mostly-white teacher population have not taken a course on black history themselves, and may not feel comfortable teaching it.

H2 Here: things are changing

And the teachers who are pushing for change aren’t acting alone. [Or some transition like that]

The teaching of Black History in school is “Steadily improving, yet still stagnant,” argues King.

Students told TIME learning history about their ancestors helped them feel rooted at a time when everything is uprooted with gentrification.

#Blogger

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samanthapagesof · 5 years

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#Planet5050

March, is a national women's history month. This year's focus is on women in technical, scientific, and mathematic fields and to stick to my trend of blog posts this week, I wanted to talk about a hashtag. I know a hashtag, how hipster can I be. Well, this particular hashtag was created by the United Nations Women. This hashtag is on the rise over many platforms of social media from March of 2018 to present. It is continuing to grow and spread awareness, #Planet5050. The hashtag was created from the campaign “Planet 50-50 by 2039: Step It Up for Gender Equality”. The movement is to build a future foundation for their Sustainable Development Goals, and their commitments on gender equality, women's rights, and the empowerment of women's rights. The organization is using the best tool available for spreading their cause, social media. Director of the Nations Women Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuke stated “We must not leave anyone behind. We must not leave behind those who are willing and able to serve their countries, to serve their universities, to serve their churches, to sever their companies, and to serve the united nations.”

Why talk about a hashtag that was created over a year ago? Aren’t we supposed to talk about what's “trending” like Klohe Kardashian vs. Jordyn Woods and Tristan Tompson, or something about Megan Markle and how her body movements are really describing the dysfunction of the royal family. You know something the whole world totally needs to know about. But, there is a method to my madness. I am the type of person who doesn’t really go in depth in politics. I keep myself updated by checking the news every couple days or so. I also check for any major events on social media, not just celebrities news. Though I am a Gen Z female who grew up alongside the internet, I also on occasion check the NY Times, Washington Post, CNN, National Geographic, and NBC. I prefer diversity in my news sources to avoid bias.

Why would I talk about the hashtag from a year ago when I usually never take a stand on political issues. Now, that is not mean to say I don’t have a stand but rather I am not one who likes to argue and most people who talk about politics ONLY want to argue. I think that the topics of old are what create the foundation of the new. The message established by the United Nations Women a year ago is just as if not more so relevant today.

Gender Equality has been a battle we as a people have been fighting for years. It goes back to 1843 in Seneca Falls, New York when the women's suffrage movement was born. The fight for equality hasn’t been just an issue for our society, the Roman Empire, and the Greek Empire both suffered from the aftermath of this same fight.

My point, Planet 50-50 is a campaign to bring together the genders for ALL to have equal rights. I think that campaign is one of the few that has a genuine opportunity to become a possibility. While yes, they are focusing on women primarily. They are calling for gender equality by 2039. That’s 20 years from now, this organization is calling for this year-long battle to be resolved by then. I personally think, there is never an eradication of a problem but instead, it is satisfied, for now. It is literally impossible to please every single person on this earth for the same purpose. Impossible, this battle will continue to the end of the human race. But, that doesn’t mean that the progress we have made is to be ignored. Women are making around $0.77 to the dollar a man does, it used to be below $0.39 to the dollar. That is a HUGE step in the right direction. No problem is ever fixed within days or even years. Life is trial and error. Whatever doesn’t work we address it and try to work to fix it. That is what I believe this campaign represents. It a hopeful wish to have the problem satisfied by 2039, but who knows what life will be like in 20 years. I didn’t ever think I would leave the house a week after turning 18 and move across the country to start over. But I did it. We have put men and women on the moon, we as a society did that. We have had disease, war with foreign nations, war with each other, but we survived. We are at this very moment making advancements in technology never thought of 50 years ago. Although the hover car was a favorite idea of older movies and cartoons, it is something we are still working on.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams”. We can only move forward with the progress we have and hope for the best for the feature. #Planet5050

#Womens Rights #Women's National History Month #Gender Idenity #Gender Rights #Equal Rights #Planet 5050

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prosperopedia · 6 years

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Beginners Guide to Raising a Family for Father’s

Let me start out this simple guide by giving some of my background. That seems like a good starting point. I’m going to share with you some of the things I’ve learned over the past 15-plus years of being married. I’ll also go beyond that time in history and share what I’ve learned about what it takes to build a solid family over the 40-plus years I’ve been part of a family. Neither the family I grew up in, nor the family I’m in charge of now have ever been close to perfect. That’s why I titled this the “Beginner’s Guide.”

In reality, we are all beginners. Wherever we are on life’s continuum – whether sons learning to be men, newlyweds, young dads, old dads (I think that’s where I am now), grandpas, and those who are preparing to fade off into history – there is always much more to learn than we currently know. Thank goodness, for those of faith, we understand that there will be many more years to continue working toward perfection after we’ve returned to the dust from which we were taken.

I have been blessed to the husband of an amazing wife, and the father of six children. I have one daughter and six rowdy boys. We love to travel together. We’ve lived in China and Costa Rica. We’ve traveled together all throughout the United States, some parts of Canada and Mexico, and in a few other places in Latin America. We enjoy doing music, competitive sports, and lots of other fun things. Although it’s fun to get a break from the crowd once in awhile, we generally love being together.

I think that as a family we’d score pretty well if we took one of those sophisticated tests that assess your overall happiness level, although there are too many times in my mind when I’m frustrated and yell at my kids, when I swear for no good reason, when I spend too much time watching college football instead of catching up on my list of house chores, and when I have to tell my wife sorry for doing dumb things.

We’ve been referred to by a neighbor of ours as “the family that walks between the raindrops”, but that just means he doesn’t know us well enough to observe that, like most families and people generally, we endure some significant storms, and that there are lots of moments when we have to ask ourselves, “What in the heck are we doing?” We likely have failed more than we’ve succeeded, but we are certainly in the business of trying…again and again.

In my beginner’s guide to raising a family, I’m going to point out some principles, share some stories, and hopefully provide some advice and context that might help you raise your family.

The Proclamation on the Family

I’m going to start my list of tips for raising a good family by sharing a document that has been read by tens if not hundreds of millions of people throughout the world. It was published by the leaders of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (or LDS Church, the religion to which I adhere) in 1995, read over the pulpit to a worldwide audience of women by Gordon B. Hinckley, the president of the church. When he read it, President Hinckley stated that the proclamation was for not just the membership of the church, but for the entire world. In his introduction, he stated that the proclamation was issued to “warn and forewarn” the world against leaving “standards, doctrines, and practices relative to the family.” He then read what has become known as “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” I will embed the video below, but I will first summarize some of its key points. Among other important assertions, The Family Proclamation states:

Gender is an eternal characteristic; boys have always been boys, and girls have always been girls, even before this life began and after it ends.

Marriage between a man and a woman is critical, even essential for raising a family.

Sexual relations should only take place between a married man and wife.

Married men and women are encouraged to have children and to conscientiously teach them to do good.

Children are entitled to be born to married parents who are faithful to each other.

Happiness comes from following the teachings of Jesus and by

God ultimately holds people accountable for not fulfilling their roles as fathers and mothers.

It doesn’t take long going through that list to get the impression that it may be slightly idealistic. However, the ideals represented in the document are ones that the most successful families, be they members of the LDS Church, other Christians, or people of other religious convictions, strive to uphold.

As I look at my own family and our commitment to living the principles found in that document, I can see clear benefits of both studying that document and living by what it teaches, regardless of what religion you are or how religious you are.

youtube

The Challenge of Raising a Family

Raising a solid, functional family may be one of the most difficult things a man can do in this life. It’s more difficult than obtaining a college degree. It’s often harder than setting sports records or achieving lofty business goals. Many times it can compete with those other ambitions. But it’s certainly worthwhile.

I’ve set and achieved educational goals. Before I got old, I sought after athletic achievement in baseball, football, and other sports. I’ve become a serial entrepreneur, and I’ve built and sold successful businesses several times. I’ve even developed somewhat of an amateur music career. All of those things are fulfilling, fun, and give flavor to life, but I would not take any of those things over my role as a husband and father.

The Perfect Family

The concept of a perfect family has changed significantly over the past several decades, especially since the sexual revolution of the 1960s, when the widespread pursuit of pleasure started eroding the traditional Judeo-Christian concept of what constitutes a family.

For those who are still committed to the traditional concept of family, the perfect family consists of a husband, a wife, and some children existing in a household where love rules and contention is overcome by bonds that are strong enough to create a unique unit of relationships that are special. The parents in a perfect family don’t get divorced. They communicate well. They adore each other. Their children are disciplined, grateful, well adjusted, not bratty.

To my knowledge, the perfect family simply doesn’t exist. I have observed families who are certainly closer to perfection than my own, but even those have weaknesses.

So while we fathers from time to time have these moments when we feel like things couldn’t get any better, we understand that we have a lot of work to do.

Here are some things I’ve seen work very well as I’ve led my own family. I hope they’ll work for yours.

What a Husband and Father Should Be

The standard for men in modern society has deteriorated quickly, leading to a time in history when expectations for adult males have settled for simply requesting that we not be too drunk too often, and that we not sexually assault women, although it permits every other sort of debauchery. It’s hard to think of a lower bar than what modern society has set for men. Our roles as providers, leaders, and heroes for our wives and children have given way to indulgence, addiction to selfishness, to pornography. A #MeToo social media hashtag is passed around millions of times daily, underscoring the failures that have surfaced in the collective characters of men in the 21st Century.

Society’s pathetic expectations for men are far too low for a man who wants to raise a decent family. Instead, we have to be better. We often have to separate ourselves from that influence. We’d be better served to turn off the television and disconnect sufficiently from that influence.

To raise a good family, a husband and father can’t get bogged down in what a depraved society has put forward as the model of a man.

Instead, a family man has to be unselfish, giving, patient, a hard worker, worthy of emulation.

The essence of raising a good family is to become, as much as is in your power, a good man.

Developing Self-Discipline

I remember several years ago when the news broke that Tiger Woods had taken a tire iron to the head from his soon to be ex-wife. She had found out about his sexual exploits, and her response was at least not surprising, if not entirely justified. In the months following the downfall of the world’s best golfer, it was broadcast that Tiger “suffered” from a thing called “sex addiction,” which apparently made it impossible for him to be faithful to his wife. His so-called affliction sounded concocted to me. The idea that a man cannot having control of his sexual urges came from fraudulent studies like those of Sigmund Freud and Alfred Kinsley, and have been blithely accepted by and built upon by those who have come after them, until we have created a situation where our moral agency has given way to impulses and pleasure seeking. That mentality does the opposite of helping men be capable of raising functional families. When a generation of men have been conditioned to believe that they shouldn’t, in fact they can’t, control their sexual appetites, it is impossible for them to be good husbands, good fathers. Their mistakes not only destroy themselves, but they affect heavily the next generation and beyond.

The best advice a guy could take to prepare himself to get married or to reinforce his current marriage is this: discipline your sexual habits. In my religion, similar to many other Christian religions, we are strict about observing a chastity law that prohibits any sexual relationships before marriage, and that restricts sexual interactions to only the person to whom you are married. No exceptions.

Statistics and experience show that without this kind of discipline over natural instincts, there cannot be successful marriages, which also means there cannot be functioning families.

Another form of discipline seems to always come in a close second to the important quality of being chaste.The habits you develop with regard to finances can either make or break your marriage. Data relating to causes of divorce shows a high financial correlation between lack of financial discipline and divorce rates. The less financially responsible you are, the more likely your marriage is not going to last.

The takeaway: learn to be a solid earner and get on the path to financial discipline. If you need help making your way toward a financially disciplined lifestyle, I recommend the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps approach to personal and family finances.

Marry the Right Woman

I’m not a person who believes in the idea of a Utopian soul mate. For many reasons, I don’t believe that any man has been matched up by the universe with one particular person they are destined to meet and to whom they must be married to avoid living a life that always falls short of the ideal. Based on my strong belief that we all have been given our respective abilities to choose, it would be impossible to think that the one true love theory could have merit.

However, I do think that it is a highly appropriate decision for any man who’s in the market for finding and courting a potential marriage partner to focus his attention on women with whom he has similar interests and high compatibility.

Despite the popular notion that opposites attract in relationships, I have read that the best marriages tend to exist among couples who have lots of things in common. I’ve found that to be true in my own marriage. After dating hundreds of different girls at the college marriage mecca of America, Brigham Young University, I finally found one (during my third senior year) who was as committed to my religion as I am, who loved dancing and music like I do, whose family wasn’t wealthy but not too poor (economically similar to mine), who was from a culture (Texas) that used the word “y’all” like I did growing up and still do today, and who, very importantly for me, loved sports, especially football.

While I was in the dating field, until I got engaged at age 27, I often referred to Proverbs 31:10-31 in the Bible, which starts out, “Who can find a virtuous woman, for her price is far above rubies?” I learned from those verses of scripture a lot about the Biblical perspective of what a woman should be: kind, unselfish, hard working, supportive of her husband, dedicated to her children. When I met my future wife, I matched her up against what I had decided to look for. It turns out that process worked very well.

Despite some significant differences in our families (my in-laws are Texas A&M fans, and I come from an FSU Seminoles background) our similarities have allowed us to bond successfully over more than 15 years, with many more together expected in our future.

Marrying the right person and being the right person to attract that person was obviously a critical step for me in raising a good family.

Be Fiercely Loyal to Your Wife

Once you’ve found and married a good woman, it becomes your opportunity and obligation to be unwaveringly loyal to her.

Before I was married, when I was dating around looking for someone I could fall in love with, I was like most single adults. I was flirty. I intentionally struck up conversations with girls often as a way to get to know them, often with the purpose of asking them out on a date.

To a large extent, that “playing the field” approach was backed off whenever I had a steady girlfriend, someone I had committed to in a way that meant excluding other girls. Then, whenever a dating relationship was broken off, I would usually intentionally go back to the mindset that would allow me to find another girlfriend.

When I was engaged, I was more vigilant about shutting down flirting or other attempts to attract other girls. Then, when I got married, I knew it was time to become fully committed to the girl I was now fully committed.

Too often, men will get married without conscientiously making this transition to full exclusion to their new bride. Women often make the same mistake. For a marriage to be fully functional, a man has to determine that, although he will have professional, social, and other interactions with women, his interactions with all other women will always be of an nature that is free of reproach, that never can be called into question. The Bible explains that a man “shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” Attaining that kind of unity with your spouse naturally expects a high degree of loyalty.

In our personal application of this principle, this is how my wife and I demonstrate our loyalty to each other and avoid any hint of straying. We never ride in a car alone with someone of the opposite sex. In our business and other dealings, we would never go to lunch with someone of the opposite sex. We don’t go into a home alone with a member of the opposite sex. In general, we do everything practical to avoid any appearance of showing romantic interest in anyone else.

That approach has given the two of us an added layer of trust between us and has established a clear boundary that helps us to reinforce our relationship.

Many of the stories you hear about infidelity start with one of both members of a married couple not setting those boundaries of total loyalty. A man will go to lunch with a co-worker “innocently” a few times, then he finds himself involved in an affair that destroys his marriage and turns his kids’ lives upside down. Set those boundaries and commit to complete loyalty, and you’ll spare yourself and your family the pain and heartache that can never be compensated for no matter what pleasure or ego boost might come from getting attention from a woman who’s not your wife.

One of my favorite quotes about fatherhood, one from Theodore Hesburgh, captures this commitment to loyalty and the value it provides in strengthening a family: “The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” Whether it’s the temptation to indulge in pornography or the difficulty in turning down social opportunities, developing a fierce loyalty to your wife becomes a source of resilience in a marriage.

Learn to Be Unselfish and Deferential

A funny experience I had shortly before I got met my wife provided an epiphany and a lesson that I’ve referred back to often. While I was at a gathering of couples, most of them newly married, at my brother’s home, I walked in and asked if anyone wanted to play basketball. Being a single guy, I was surprised at their natural responses. They each immediately looked over at their respective wife, their body language asking for permission.

From that experience it was clear to me that these guys had learned that their options weren’t entirely their own now that they were married. They had to sacrifice some of their own independence for the sake of a higher cause, their marriage relationships.

I’ve found out over the decade and a half since I got married and began having kids that I have to give up whatever selfishness I had as a single guy (everything from always controlling my own time to getting a good night’s sleep whenever I wanted) and instead replace it with a commitment to doing what’s best for my marriage relationship and for the health and well-being of the entire family. Sometimes when I find myself tired and sick, I have to get out of bed in the middle of the night and take care of a child who needs help. My wife does the same for me.

I’ve heard several times with regards to marriage, it’s not 50/50. Each partner has to give 100%. That principle should be taught to kids as well, making the whole family operational as a unit instead of each of the individuals trying to figure out how to get away with giving the least that they can get away with, or to break even with the relationship. That attitude cannot last long for any one particular member of the family to be at

Selfishness kills marriage and family relationships. Selflessness causes them to thrive.

Weekly Date Night

Having a weekly date night is recommended by most marriage experts. I’ve found that scheduling a regular night with my wife each week and being committed to make that happen is very valuable for a making the family run smoothly. It allows us a chance to have a conversation without being interrupted by children or other distractions, and it reminds us to one degree of another of the time we were dating. We usually go out to eat at a restaurant, sometimes followed by shopping. Sometimes we’ll go see a movie or do something else entertaining.

During our weekly date night, we occasionally take one of our six kids with us, which gives us a chance to chance to catch up with that child individually. We normally rotate the date night schedule through all of our kids so that each has a chance to feel special and to develop their relationship with their parents.

Weekly and Daily Planning Meetings

One of the most valuable skills I learned while serving for two years as a missionary volunteer was to set aside at least an hour each week to plan and coordinate with my wife. We normally hold our weekly planning meeting Sunday nights, which seems most appropriate because it’s on the eve of when we kick off our week and implement our plans.

Besides holding a regular weekly planning meeting, we also try to catch up each night with our plans for the next day and make adjustments wherever necessary.

During our weekly planning meetings, we set and review our family goals, do calendaring for the upcoming week and beyond, create to-do lists, and essentially spiritually create what’s going to happen in the coming week.

During our quick nightly planning sprints, we check over what’s coming up the next day and make whatever plans we need to.

To make our planning more efficient, we use an online calendar. We prefer Google Calendar because of how it allows us to share calendars between our various Google accounts.

Weekly Family Night

In our family, we set aside one night each week during which we hold a family night. That activity normally is scheduled for Monday night, but it can change depending upon plans that involve sports, music events, and other activities.

Although it takes effort and can sometimes be frustrating, holding weekly family night ultimately builds unity among family members. It also creates a more formal setting for your wife and you to assess how your kids are doing, make plans together, and to teach and instruct your family.

During our weekly family night meetings, we normally sing church hymns, recite our family motto (I’ll include it below), have a religious and/or academic lesson, visit friends, do service for the needy, go out for entertainment, or take part in some other activity together.

During one of our family night meetings several years ago, we decided to create a family motto, which we recite together during our weekly Our kids participated in creating the motto, so they feel ownership of it. This is what we came up with.

We are the Robbins family.

We strive to be like Jesus, and treat others with kindness.

We are honest and true. We are loyal to each other.

We have fun together. We are helpful and hard-working.

We never give up, or take the easy way out.

We earnestly seek after knowledge and wisdom.

We work together as a family to build our faith.

We are the Robbins family.

Consciously, Assertively Spend One-on-One Time with Your Kids

In addition to our weekly family night and our less frequent inclusion of them into our date nights, my wife and I spend conscious quality time with each of our kids. With each additional child we’ve had we’ve come to understand that there is no extra allotment of additional hours in a day, so we have to be more assertive to make sure each gets attention from us.

To spend the time with my kids that they need, I’ve had to give up other things and make adjustments. Years ago as a BSA leader, I found myself taking them on camping trips with me even though they weren’t old enough. My wife and I have taught each of my kids (including my daughter) to appreciate watching college football, so we can enjoy that activity together instead of having to give it up entirely.

Some of the major ills I see among today’s kids is a result of what I sometimes refer to as “Fortnite Parenting”, named after the highly popular, but (in my strong opinion) entirely valueless video game. Raising children doesn’t mean simply keeping them out of the way, occupied with something that is destructive. Perhaps the most effective way to develop your children’s respective abilities to become good people and to have a solid relationship with their parents is to replace their screen time (pretty much of it, except what they’re using for educational purposes) with valuable, scheduled interaction with one or both parents.

Raising A Family is Worth the Effort

I hope my little beginner’s guide to raising a family has been helpful to you. The things I listed here have worked very well for me, my wife, and our kids.

Being the head of a family has certainly been hard work, in some ways harder than I ever imagined. However, the returns are immeasurable. For those who put in the effort to create and maintain a healthy, functioning family, the effort is always worth it.

The post Beginners Guide to Raising a Family for Father’s appeared first on The Handbook for Happiness, and Success, and Prosperity Prosperopedia.

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mainemanus-blog · 6 years

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Groom Life: Ways To Participate In Wedding Planning (Your Bride Will Thank Us!)

Here are several ways grooms can do some research, share an opinion, and help out with all the details of planning your wedding day.

Now that you put your marriage proposal plan into action, let’s talk about some ways you can participate in the wedding planning. Wedding planning can be short and painless or long and stressful – and just about every descriptive term in between! It all depends on your goals and your vision for the Big Day. Regardless of what kind of event you’d like to have or how many people you’ll invite, it will take a great deal of thought and effort. The important part is that you lend a helping hand and share your opinions when they’re needed to ensure that it all goes as smoothly as possible and everyone ends up happy in the end.

BEFORE YOUR EVENT…

PLAN YOUR WEDDING BUDGET

One of the most difficult but crucial aspects of wedding planning is determining a budget. Plan to save in advance or your proposal, then save even more prior to the event date. And plan to write several sizable checks before and after. Offer your help in outlining the budget, prioritizing the wedding choices that are most important to you, and organizing certain elements of the preparation.

FIND A WEDDING VENUE

The wedding and reception venues will determine much of the overall vibe of your event. Be sure to choose something fun, inspirational, and memorable for you and your guests. Do some research online and call around to determine pricing and availability. These will be the major factors in making a final decision – and easy headaches for you to save your bride.

HELP WITH THE CREATIVE STUFF

The internet provides all sorts of fun options to get inspired and purchase unique, custom stationery for your event. This is a great way to showcase the theme or highlight some recognizable and fun characteristics of the couple. Poke around online and find some fun designs you think represent the two of you and share them. You can always go the DIY Wedding route too!

When it comes time to decorate your wedding space, we’re partial to seeking inspiration from FiftyFlowers! We have literally thousands of different flowers that come in more colors and shades than you can imagine – and they’re super easy to search and navigate through on our website. Seek out some inspiration for flower bouquets and arrangements, as well as table displays, guestbook layouts, seating charts, and other ways to add personalized flair to your event. Get creative and impress your future spouse!

CREATE A WEDDING REGISTRY (OR FOUR)

As strange as it may seem, all your friends and family want and expect to get you gifts to celebrate your wedded bliss. If you can take some stress off your partner’s back by surfing around Amazon for things you want to start marriage off right, why not do it?! This sounds like a no-brainer – and you can use it as an excuse to shop for Groomsmen gifts and other fun stuff too.

MAKE YOUR WEDDING GUEST LIST

I left people off my wedding guest list. You will too. You’ll inevitably feel bad that you intentionally left someone off your list, and you’ll feel even worse when you unintentionally leave out a great, old friend. This is almost unavoidable considering that you and your bride-to-be are combining lists of your favorite family and friends from an entire lifetime and narrowing down from there. If you really want to help, prepare your list of preferred guests and prepare to be flexible. For bonus points, create a diagram of the reception space and tables, and start the process of assigning seats!

DECIDE ON WEDDING FOOD AND DRINKS

Much of your food choice will be determined by the venue and catering selection, so pay attention to the menu in advance and choose wisely. Some weddings require choosing your meal with RSVP then provide seated dinner service, while others simply host all-you-can-eat buffets. Offer your input and choose to your taste, but be considerate of who will be in attendance and what their preferences may be.

Drinks come in many forms. Open bars are expensive, but so is buying cases of wine. Maybe you want everyone to pay for their own booze. Or maybe you don’t want anyone to drink at all. You know the crowd and you know your budget so plan accordingly.

EXPERT TIP: Keep who’s drinking and who’s not in mind when you’re making your seating chart.

RESEARCH THE LEGAL PARTS OF MARRIAGE

Think your marriage is official right after the priest says, “You may now kiss the bride!”? WRONG! There are many legal requirements following marriage – and many of them fall to the bride if she plans to change her name. Be helpful by doing some research on the legal requirements for your state and locality. Your new wife may need to change IDs, credit cards, bills, banking, titles, and more depending on her commitments, so help her get the ball rolling and you may be a hero.

*This is, by no means, limited to women! Nor should it be expected from anyone. This is a large commitment, so be respectful of that.

HIRE A WEDDING OFFICIANT

Consider the type of service you’d like performed and how the officiant will play a role. If you’ll be married in a church, finding an officiant may be simple. If you’re getting married in a small mountain town, it may be more difficult. Depending on your style and the law in your area, a family member or friend may also perform the ceremony. Finding someone with a bit of experience may provide you with some confidence and comfort as you nervously fumble through the ceremony.

PICK A WEDDING BAND OR DJ

The choice of band or DJ will have an impact on the dancing at your reception, so be thoughtful of your guests. We suggest researching online and getting recommendations from the venue. Consider what songs you’ll want to be played during the reception and at various traditional points in the ceremony (first dance, father-daughter dance, etc). Many bands and DJs can also be helpful in MCing the event, which may be valuable to you.

BOOK A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER OR VIDEOGRAPHER

Will you hire a photographer or videographer? Both? Maybe you’ll decide to have your guests snap photos will disposable cameras or share pictures to a specific hashtag on Instagram. Whatever your style and budget, there is a solution to match, so do your homework and find the best option to suit your event. Reserve talented pros as far in advance as possible because they can book fast – and be prepared to pay a deposit.

WEDDING DAY PLANNING & DECORATION (SETUP TOO!)

Show you care by lending your opinions and efforts. Offer your help to create a timeline for the days leading up to your wedding day. When will flowers, cakes, clothes, and other items be ready for pickup? How and when will you transport everything? Where will it all go? It’s important to take care of the details in advance to ensure that everything is in its place when it’s time to walk down the aisle.

Planning a wedding was one of the longest, most complex investments of time and finances I’ve ever made. There was a lot to think about and even more to do. But I’m so grateful for every moment of our celebration and all of the wonderful memories we made with family and friends. It’s likely the last time I’ll have such attention paid to me and the last time I’ll have so many people in one place celebrating my wife and I. It was a day we’ll always remember and we’re very grateful we made the effort we did to make it special as it was. If you invest yourself in the planning, I’m sure you’ll feel the same way.

Stay tuned for our next edition of the Groom Life Series…

Groom Life: Ways To Participate In Wedding Planning (Your Bride Will Thank Us!) published first on their blog, reposted for me

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clusterassets · 6 years

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New world news from Time: Women in the Philippines Have Had Enough of President Duterte’s ‘Macho’ Leadership

As Philippine President Rodrigo Duterte prepared for his State of the Nation Address (SONA) on Monday, his third since assuming power in 2016, protesters took to the streets in and around Manila. Police expected around 40,000 protesters against his administration and 40,000 in favor of the controversial leader.

Among those anti-government protesters are women’s rights activists, who have increasingly been speaking out against the Duterte administration. Since taking office in June 2016, the 73-year-old leader has ordered soldiers to shoot female rebels “in the vagina,” made inappropriate comments about his female Vice President’s legs, joked about raping Miss Universe, and equated having a second wife to keeping a “spare tire” in the trunk of a car.

“When he says these things, he’s sending out a message to all men out there that ‘I get away with it, so you can,'” says Inday Espina-Varona, a 54-year-old journalist and one of several co-founders of the #BabaeAko movement. Translated as ‘I Am Woman,’ the social media campaign began in May after Duterte declared that the next Chief Justice of the Philippines could not be a woman.

For some, the Philippines’ position in World Economic Forum’s top ten countries in the world for gender equality merely masks deeper cracks in society. The country of 103 million may have had two female presidents, but Duterte has nevertheless managed to capitalize on a deeply-entrenched strain of misogyny. Just as women across the U.S. have come together to protest President Donald Trump’s comments, including his boast about grabbing women by the pussy, women in the Philippines have now mobilized to call out sexism in the Duterte administration.

Both veterans and newcomers to the Philippine women’s rights movement took part in Monday’s march in Manila, along with several other rights groups in their own version of a SONA. “We knew we had to get together to answer him,” says 55-year-old actress May Paner, another co-founder of #BabaeAko. Under the hashtag, women across the Philippines uploaded videos of themselves to social media platforms calling out Duterte’s sexist rhetoric. Among them were high-profile female leaders, including Congress representatives, former Solicitor General Florin Hilbay, and a former cabinet member of the Duterte administration, Judy Taguiwalo.

That did nothing to stop Duterte, who kissed a married woman in front of an audience of overseas Filipino workers on June 4 in Seoul, South Korea. (Although the woman later said that there was “no malice” in the kiss, the stunt was condemned by politicians and women’s rights groups as an abuse of power.) The kiss prompted the women’s movement to take to the streets eight days later, with some calling for his resignation.

“That kiss has been framed as a playful gesture of a father to one of his children, which resonates with many women who feel they have to tolerate this behavior as it is more costly to point out,” says Sharmila Parmanand, PhD candidate in Gender Studies at the University of Cambridge. “There is still this very overt sexualization of women, and the infrastructure to combat sexism is struggling against a political culture that is still very patriarchal.”

Although a recent McKinsey report also showed that the Philippines leads the Asia-Pacific Region on gender equality in the workplace, many women still say there’s a long way to go more generally. “We have to look at what type of gender equality are we talking about when there are all these festering pushbacks against the status of women in Philippine society,” Maria Tanyag, research fellow at Monash University’s Gender, Peace and Security Department in Melbourne, tells TIME. The Catholic Church wields a strong influence in the country, where abortion and divorce are still illegal. Activists are pushing to raise the country’s age of consent up from 12 years old, which is the lowest in Asia, and despite the passing of a landmark reproductive health bill under the previous administration, observers say the country’s sexual education framework still falls short. And a series of blunders in the past year illustrate broader underlying sexist attitudes, including a marketing campaign run by San Miguel beer that was criticized for promoting rape culture, a callout for game show contestants with “sexy legs,” and a police-issued rape prevention poster that advised women not to “dress provocatively.”

To his critics, Duterte’s sexism has emboldened others. The president has not shied away from using gendered insults and threats, particularly against female critics both in the Philippines and abroad. Vice President Leni Robredo, a political opponent of Duterte, has slammed his “tasteless” remarks about her legs and “short skirt.” Senator Leila de Lima, a strong critic of the drugs war, filed a lawsuit against Duterte in 2016, alleging sexual harassment and slut shaming after he alluded to owning a sex tape of her and her driver. The President has even made lewd comments about foreign representatives, such as a United Nations representative whom he derided as a “daughter of a whore” after she investigated extrajudicial killings as part of the country’s war on drugs.

“It was really that impact of Duterte coming into power and making terrible statements about women that fueled my fire. I saw that there was something that needed to be done,” says Mich Dulce, a co-founder of Grrrl Gang Manila, a feminist collective created in March 2017. It holds regular safe space meet-ups for women and girls in the Philippine capital on themes such as ‘Feminism 101’ and ‘Toxic Masculinity,’ tied together with music performances, demonstrations and talks in local schools and workplaces about the barriers women face. “It’s just like Trump, where people who didn’t care before are looking for ways to make a change,” says 37-year-old Dulce, who also fronts an all-women feminist punk band called The Male Gaze. “We are not the only group or collective that came out of that time—it’s part of a whole conscious collective, where we are all reacting to the same things,” agrees fellow co-founder Marla Darwin.

#BabaeAkoSaSONA 💪💪💪👩🏻👩🏻👩🏻 pic.twitter.com/xfVNp8EC8E

— Mich Dulce (@michdulce) July 23, 2018

Official from the administration have dismissed criticisms of sexism and misogyny as “over-acting” and taking Duterte too seriously. Presidential spokesman Harry Roque has used this defense of Duterte’s behavior multiple times, imploring critics to “not take the words of the President literally, but of course, we should take the President’s word seriously.” Another top aide has condemned the #BabaeAko movement as “clearly political,” and Duterte himself has batted away backlash against the incident in Seoul by saying critics were “just jealous.”

Duterte is not the first strongman leader in Philippine politics, but his comments reflect something deeper about his style of government and the kind of leader he wants to be. For many Filipinos, President Ferdinand Marcos’ dictatorship and brutal rule through martial law in the 1970s remains a fresh memory. And today, Duterte has Southeast Asian ‘strongman‘ compatriots in the form of Cambodia’s Hun Sen and Thailand’s Prime Minister Prayuth Chan-ocha, as well as Russian President Vladimir Putin and U.S. President Donald Trump further afield. “We are seeing the exaggeration of masculinity to serve a purpose to legitimize certain foreign and domestic policies,” Tanyag tells TIME, speaking of this broader trend.

Indeed, Duterte’s macho leadership may have a more pragmatic basis, particularly regarding the war on drugs—arguably the centerpiece of his domestic policies. Philippine authorities say 4,500 drug suspects have been killed since July 2016, although human rights observers estimate that the number is closer to 12,000. “There is this macho mindset of the war on drugs being justified because it protects women and children,” Parmanand says, calling this rhetoric “benevolent paternalism.” In fact, the drug war has had a major impact on women and children, whether because of losing family members or facing financial difficulty due to lower family incomes as a result of extrajudicial killings.

Beyond the drug war, Dutete’s leadership has displayed hallmarks of “hypermasculinity” elsewhere, Tanyag says. In May 2017, the southern island of Mindanao was placed under martial law after ISIS-backed militants seized the city of Marawi. Despite the government declaring victory over the extremists in October, Duterte was granted the power to extend martial law in the region for a further year the following month, with critics arguing against increased powers for the military. According to Tanyag, this kind of reaction from the president shows that he “prioritizes violence, domination and aggression” in his leadership.

As Duterte’s leadership becomes a major cause for concern, women of all ages have come together to protest. “His actions are reversing so many of the gains we had worked so hard for,” says Teresita Quintos Deles, one of the country’s most prominent civil society advocates and chair-convener of EveryWoman, a coalition of women’s rights organizations from across the Philippines.

Speaking ahead of Monday’s march, Deles sounded energized, looking forward to marching with women from all sections of Philippine society. “I thought I had fought the fight of my lifetime already,” Deles says, referring to her activism for women’s rights and peacemaking after the ouster of President Marcos and under the leadership of President Aquino. “I didn’t think I would have to do this again at the age of 69, but we are back marching in the streets again, and the happy thing is that is it intergenerational.”

Members of Grrrl Gang Manila, as well as the #BabaeAko founders are also marching, with supporters wearing purple and fuchsia to mark the traditional colors of the Philippine women’s movement. “Young Filipinas are taking up action and recognizing that yes, there is a thread that criss crosses the generations, and that sisterhood is real,” says Deles. “More and more people are saying that this can’t be the end of our story.”

July 23, 2018 at 07:10PM ClusterAssets Inc., https://ClusterAssets.wordpress.com

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