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mysteriesofmilo · 4 years ago

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MML Quotes Tournament, round 3

There were a few ties this round, until someone voted while I was looking at the results.

So, here are the results:

Balloon full of stinky water beat Loss can lead to new adventures 9-2 (81.8%)

Haven't heard you complaining beat Hamilton H. County 7-4 (63.6%)

In a Zack matchup, I had to take the bus beat Bird-a-surus 9-2 (81.8%)

Brakes are broke beat Disaster Magazine 7-4 (63.6%)

Unnecessarily disintegrated beat Exfused and concited 9-2 (81.8%)

World War V beat Harpoons and feeding frenzies 9-2 (81.8%)

In a Milo matchup, Squirrels and tuna beat Why seek danger? 7-4 (63.6%)

Ends with a sentient blob beat Doof’s first robot 6-5 (54.5%)

Anxious about shopping carts beat Pizza delivery guy trap 6-5 (54.5%)

Worst punishment beat I smell a Murphy 7-3 (70%)

More ridiculous than his life beat Make some noise 9-2 (81.8%)

Sign has sharp edges beat Plays by his own rules 6-5 (54.5%)

Absurdly fast koala beat Sure that would not work 8-3 (72.7%)

Mice could fly beat My soap is talking 7-4 (63.6%)

Confusing stuff cabbage tree beat Contemplating my tragic existence 7-4 (63.6%)

Vorpel wrap beat Win this cooking show 8-3 (72.7%)

"We can repair it" alarms beat Actually, don't sit back 6-5 (54.5%)

Right amount of whelmed beat Get out of the van 9-2 (81.8%)

I still maintain he's not beat Buffalo with marshmallow 10-1 (90.9%)

Not a wave of fire beat Bug on your face 7-4 (63.6%)

Hanging off the edge of a cliff beat Milo the Great 9-2 (81.8%)

Bungle this assignment beat Monkey on his shoulder 8-3 (72.7%)

Fake sleep magazines beat Get used to it 8-3 (72.7%)

In a Doof matchup, Not this time beat You are worthless 9-2 (81.8%)

Don't listen to me beat Vintage T-shirts 7-4 (63.6%)

Suit on an Undergrounder beat Time capsule 7-4 (63.6%)

BYO toilet paper beat So scared I'm not scared 10-1 (90.9%)

Great Caesar's ghost beat Photos of all the parks 10-1 (90.9%)

Throw this round thing beat Ride dirt bikes 9-2 (81.8%)

Loser shovels the winner's driveway beat If you survive today 6-5 (54.5%)

Run toward the danger beat Where is the exit 8-3 (72.7%)

Take our picture or eradicate us beat Revenge mode 7-4 (63.6%)

Toddler Talent Show beat Impulsive mistakes of his youth 6-5 (54.5%)

We're all gonna try beat Shield your head 7-4 (63.6%)

Blindly followed her instructions beat How many hamsters 9-2 (81.8%)

Judgmental man beat Ate a Congressman 9-2 (81.8%)

I'm hazardous shut out Just a prototype 11-0 (100%)

Head caught in a helicopter beat Picking up Milo 8-3 (72.7%)

Only on a TV show beat Royalty, part monkey or both 10-1 (90.9%)

Dining on other worlds beat 3/4 marmoset 7-4 (63.6%)

Desertland beat Hi plane 8-3 (72.7%)

Murray the Middleman beat Not worse than trash 9-2 (81.8%)

Inside out? beat Uneven playing field 7-4 (63.6%)

Found Milo's backpack beat Cohesive color scheme 10-1 (90.9%)

Those wooden stakes will kill him beat Don't appreciate your bones 8-3 (72.7%)

In a Sphere and Loathing in Outer Space matchup, You look delicious too beat Halfway across the galaxy 10-1 (90.9%)

Actual superintendent beat Garbled screams 6-4 (60%)

Eggs for breakfast beat That goes for anyone in this building 8-3 (72.7%)

Dr. Not Sorry beat Fries with cheese 7-4 (63.6%)

Stranded people beat Flaming pig 8-3 (72.7%)

At increasing velocity beat Your milk carton 6-5 (54.5%)

In a season premiere matchup, A single tent shaped tarp beat They took a bus 6-5 (54.5%)

Dumping toxic waste beat Middle School Safety Award 9-2 (81.8%)

Some are still standing beat Claustro-avoident 8-3 (72.7%)

Fowl beast beat Ice cream combination 9-2 (81.8%)

Disco dancers in Danville beat Snow Flyer 1.5 8-3 (72.7%)

Orange peeling time best Breakfast inside of a lunch 8-3 (72.7%)

Furlong per jiffy somehow beat Required to notify us 6-5 (54.5%)

A to B beat The really big ball 7-4 (63.6%)

In a "describing Murphy's Law" matchup, Stuff just explodes beat Unless someone accidentally 9-2 (81.8%)

In a high speed chase, On his sled of doom beat Commemorative plaque 8-3 (72.7%)

Cyborg grizzly: destroy man beat Country vs Western music 8-2 (80%)

Some say he doesn't exist beat What I sorta can see 8-3 (72.7%)

The end will return beat Sports fuel power 7-4 (63.6%)

Now, here are the next round matchups:

Balloon full of stinky water vs Haven't heard you complaining

I had to take the bus vs Brakes are broke

Unnecessarily disintegrated vs World War V

Squirrels and tuna vs Ends with a sentient blob

Anxious about shopping carts vs Worst punishment

More ridiculous than his life vs Sign has sharp edges

Absurdly fast koala vs Mice could fly

Confusing stuff cabbage tree vs Vorpel wrap

"We can repair it" alarms vs Right amount of whelmed

I still maintain he's not vs Not a wave of fire

Hanging off the edge of a cliff vs Bungle this assignment

Fake sleep magazines vs Not this time

Don't listen to me vs Suit on an Undergrounder

BYO toilet paper vs Great Caesar's ghost

Throw this round thing vs Loser shovels the winner's driveway

Run toward the danger vs Take our picture or eradicate us

Toddler Talent Show vs We're all gonna try

Blindly followed her instructions vs Judgmental man

I'm hazardous vs Head caught in a helicopter

Only on a TV show vs Dining on other worlds

Desertland vs Murray the Middleman

Inside out? vs Found Milo's backpack

This wooden stakes will kill him vs You look delicious too

Actual superintendent vs Eggs for breakfast

Dr. Not Sorry vs Stranded people

At increasing velocity vs A single tent shaped tarp

Dumping toxic waste vs Some are still standing

Fowl beast vs Disco dancers in Danville

Orange peeling time vs Furlong per jiffy

A to B vs Stuff just explodes

On his sled of doom vs Cyborg grizzly: destroy man

Some say he doesn't exist vs The end will return

That's it! Vote here: https://forms.gle/PzruoN5Jbecm11YUA

View the bracket here: https://challonge.com/fbifxfp2

View the full list of quotes here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZW4PSIUnBEw-J89UTNBYtUu1qiFtPkQW1Q1CcaetVho/edit?usp=sharing

And view the wiki here: https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Milo_Murphy%27s_Law_Wiki

#milo murphy's law #mml #quotes tournament

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dandibuja · 6 years ago

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Undécima semana de bocetos digitales inspirados en el serial radiofónico “Cuando Juan y Tula fueron a Siritinga”

CAPÍTULO 51 - Pesadilla de El-Jormaz El-Jormaz tiene una pesadilla en la que recuerda la profecía que le hizo el Oráculo de Kransis en su juventud. Del viento Lar, “que la mariposa morirá a la sombra del dragón”. Del viento Sar, “que la sangre derramada por el cometa hará temblar tu propia sangre”. Del viento Mar, “que el gigante entregará su magia al niño y en ello cumplirá su destino”. Y del viento Zar, “que cuando todo esto se cumpla, verás la cara del enemigo de tu destino y lo amarás”. Al despertarse habla con el monje mudo, que fue quien lo acompañó al Oráculo, años atrás. El monje abandona la abadía para ir al rescate de Juan y Tula, a bordo de un destartalado globo.

CAPÍTULO 52 - Rescate Juan y Tula son rescatados por el monje, siguiendo las instrucciones de El-Jormaz. Mientras en su celda de la abadía militar del Decanato de Treval Sorj, El-Jormaz graba un cilal cifrado para Ban Taur, solicitando un informe completo de la situación política actual y recordándole que le debe su posición actual a su apoyo. Ban Taur es un marciano de Irala, un no nativo de Siritinga, y su ascenso al rango sátrapa fue una violación del protocolo burocrático tradicional. En ese momento Monatir y Sikarra entran en la celda, pero El-Jormaz logra ocultar su cilal. El-Jormaz le reprocha a Sikarra que ocultase a Tanom en lugar de matarlo, pero el sátrapa eunuco le recuerda que su orden exacta fue “hacerlo desaparecer”, y eso hizo. Monatir y Sikarra le hacen ver a El-Jormaz que su situación actual no es muy distinta a la Tanom, y que lo mantendrán oculto mientras deciden que hacer con el.

CAPÍTULO 53 - Largo viaje Juan y Tula viajan rumbo a Arenas en el viejo globo pilotado por el viejo monje mudo. Mientras tanto, Ban Taur dictar el informe que El-Jormaz le pidió. Al terminar entrecierra los ojos y tiene una especie de visión en la que ve a El-Jormaz, pero su silueta se distorsiona por la presencia de un hombre con un cegador disco de plata en vez de cara. [El serial no lo explica, pero creo que esto es el fruto de la magia del monje mudo, que es capaz de acceder a su mente] Después d ella visión, Ban Taur empieza a dictar un nuevo cilal para Sikarra, donde le informa de su comunicación con El-Jormaz.

CAPÍTULO 54 - Amanece en la Abadía Mientras camina por el claustro de la abadía, El-Jormaz dicta un nuevo cilal para Ban Taur, indicándole su intención de abandonar Siritinga, una vez su herida se haya curado. En ese momento los excrementos de una de las golondrinas dorada que vuelan sobre la abadía, manchan el hábito de El-Jormaz, que no puede contener una carcajada. Mientras tanto, Juan y Tula continúan su viaje de regreso a Arenas, y Tana se lamenta de vuelta en su exilio en Sima Sina.

CAPÍTULO 55 - La Luna Helada de Tingar En el Palacio Tirrell en SaucoGrís Monatir y Sikarra comparten un baño ritual, en el que el sátrapa informa a su señor de los planes de El-Jormaz y del destierro de Tana. En la abadía, El-Jormaz elude las preguntas del Abad Madoz, que no entiende que obligación secreta mantiene al gigante en Siritinga.

Eleventh week of digital sketches inspired by the radio serial “Cuando Juan y Tula fueron a Siritinga” (When Juan and Tula went to Siritinga)

CHAPTER 51 - Nightmare of El-Jormaz El-Jormaz has a nightmare in which he remembers the prophecy made by the Oracle of Kransis in his youth. From the Lar wind, "that the butterfly will die in the shadow of the dragon." From the Sar wind, "that the blood shed by the comet will make your own blood quake.” From the Mar wind, "that the giant will give his magic to the child and in that he will fulfill his destiny". And from the Zar wind, "that when all this is accomplished, you will see the face of the enemy of your fate and love it." When he wakes up he talks to the mute monk, who accompanied him to the Oracle year ago. The monk leaves the abbey to go to the rescue of Juan and Tula, aboard a decrepit balloon.

CHAPTER 52 - Rescue Juan and Tula are rescued by the monk, following the instructions of El-Jormaz. While in his cell in the military abbey of the Treval Sorj Deanery, El-Jormaz records an encrypted cilal for Ban Taur, requesting a full report of the current political situation and reminding him that he owes his current position to his support. Ban Taur is a Martian from Irala, a non-native of Siritinga, and his rise to the rank of satrap was a violation of the traditional bureaucratic procedure. At that moment Monatir and Sikarra enter the cell, but El-Jormaz manages to hide his cilal. El-Jormaz reproaches Sikarra for hiding Tanom instead of killing him, but the eunuch satrap reminds him that his exact order was to "make him disappear," and that he did. Monatir and Sikarra show El-Jormaz that his current situation is not very different from Tanom’s, and that they will keep him hidden while they decide what to do with him.

CHAPTER 53 - Long Journey Juan and Tula travel to Arenas in the old balloon piloted by the old mute monk. Meanwhile, Ban Taur dictate the report that El-Jormaz asked for. When he finishes, he narrows his eyes and has a kind of vision in which he sees El-Jormaz, but his silhouette is distorted by the presence of a man with a blinding silver disc instead of a face. [The serial does not explain it, but I think this is the fruit of the magic of the mute monk, who is able to access his mind] After the vision, Ban Taur begins to dictate a new cilal for Sikarra, where he informs him of his communication with El-Jormaz.

CHAPTER 54 - Dawn in the Abbey While walking through the cloister of the abbey, El-Jormaz dictates a new cilal for Ban Taur, indicating his intention to leave Siritinga, once his wound has healed. At that time the droppings of one of the golden swallows that fly over the abbey, stain the habit of El-Jormaz, who cannot contain a laugh. Meanwhile, Juan and Tula continue their journey back to Arenas, and Tana laments back at her exile in Sima Sina. CHAPTER 55 - Tingar's Frozen Moon In the Tirrell Palace in SaucoGrís Monatir and Sikarra share a ritual bath, in which the satrap informs his lord of El-Jormaz's plans and the exile of Tana. In the abbey, El-Jormaz avoids the questions of Abbot Madoz, who does not understand what secret obligation keeps the giant in Siritinga.

#dandibuja #artists on tumblr #Siritinga #Cuando Juan y Tula fueron a Siritinga #space opera #sketches #radio serial

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themurphyzone · 6 years ago

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Absolutely Disastrous Ch 15

Ch 15: Show Your Fighting Spirit! Enter the Champion of Hoenn!

Due to BuzzNav’s latest report on the projected cost of repairs for the Rustboro Gym, Veronica and Milo agreed to battle on the beach instead so the Dewford Gym would be safe from the crossfire.

“I usually do single battles with two Pokémon per side,” Veronica called. “Is that okay with you?”

“Fine with me!” Milo said.

Veronica tossed her Poké Ball. “Then let the battle begin! Show us your fighting spirit, Meditite!”

A blue and white Pokémon popped out, briefly stretching in a yoga pose before bowing politely to Milo. Milo bowed back, and Meditite was pleased at her gesture being returned.

“Diogee, let’s start with Bite attack!” Milo ordered.

“Detect, then follow up with Meditate!” Veronica yelled.

Meditite’s eyes flashed red, and she disappeared as Diogee’s jaws clamped down on empty air. Diogee scuffed the sand with his claws while Meditite reappeared several feet away. Meditite closed her eyes, curling and raising her hands in a basic meditation position.

“Over there!” Milo pointed in Meditite’s direction. “Cut attack!”

“Duck behind a sand dune and keep meditating!” Veronica yelled.

Meditite broke her concentration briefly and ducked behind a large sand dune. Cut slammed into the thick soil, stirring up sandy clouds and bits of driftwood but leaving Meditite unharmed.

“Try Cut again!”

“Ready, Meditite?” Veronica called.

Meditite nodded, vanishing before Cut connected. Then she appeared next to Diogee, her legs spread in a firm stance as he coolly sized him up.

Milo pumped his fist in the air. “Meditite’s in range! Use Bite!”

Diogee charged at Meditite, his mouth wide open and ready to clamp down on her head. Meditite raised her arms, her palms facing outward.

“Force Palm now!”

A shock wave exploded from Meditite’s palms just as Diogee reached her, blasting the Dark-type into the ocean. The tides washed over Diogee as he struggled to his feet, but Meditite never gave him the chance to recover. Since Confusion didn’t affect Dark-types, Veronica instructed Meditite to control the water around Diogee’s paws to decrease his mobility instead. Once Diogee was sufficiently trapped and more focused on freeing himself, Meditite blasted him with another Force Palm.

Diogee tried to gather enough energy for Razor Wind, but slumped to the ground, too exhausted to build it up.

“Diogee is unable to battle!” Melissa crowed. “Meditite is the winner!”

“You did great, boy,” Milo said, giving Diogee a Sitrus Berry to eat while he recuperated on the sidelines. Diogee nudged his hand, and Milo laughed. “I’ll try, but you know she’s always been a strong trainer.”

“Diogee’s amazing as ever, Milo!” Veronica called. “Can’t wait to see who else you have!”

“Thanks!” Milo exclaimed. “Marshtomp, come out!”

The Poké Ball flew backward and hit the rock next to Zack, who yelped from the realization that the device had been inches from his face. Marshtomp dug his front limbs into the sand to signify that he was ready.

“Mud Bomb!” Milo shouted.

A mud glob appeared in Marshtomp’s arms, and he hurled it at Meditite, who deflected it with Confusion. The mud sailed into the ocean instead.

Then Meditite turned Confusion onto Marshtomp. A mysterious blue power lit up her eyes, the aura surrounding Marshtomp as he clutched his head and tried to fight her off.

“Go ahead and release Marshtomp!” Veronica yelled.

Marshtomp flew into a sand dune. When he came out, he stumbled dizzily and fired a Water Gun at the ocean.

“Aim a Mud Bomb at Meditite!” Milo called.

Marshtomp created a Mud Bomb, but it sailed away from the sandy field instead.

Veronica grinned. “Perfect, he’s confused! Get in close with a double Force Palm!”

Meditite aimed one Force Palm in Marshtomp’s shoulder and another on his stomach. The shock wave snapped him out of confusion, but his limbs were locked in place.

“Try to shake off the paralysis!” Milo yelled.

But it only took one more Force Palm-Confusion combo to bring Marshtomp down. Milo recalled Marshtomp as Melissa announced the end of the battle and declared Veronica the winner.

“That was a great battle, Veronica,” Milo said. “Your Meditite is really strong!”

“Thanks, Milo!” Veronica said. “You’re not half-bad yourself. I’m sure you’ll figure out a way to beat me soon. You’ve just gotta work on it more. And maybe not use a Dark-type against a Fighting-type.”

Milo laughed. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

Veronica’s phone buzzed, and she rolled her eyes. “That’s my other occupation calling. Gotta deliver a vegetarian pizza to some people at Sea Mauville. Weird place to have a pizza party, but hey, money’s money. In the meantime, why don’t you go train in Granite Cave? Just keep heading north and you’ll see it! Who knows? You might meet some cool Pokémon in there.”

She whistled, summoning a Dodrio whose three heads continued to squabble as she mounted it.

“By the way, I’m a huge fan of your work,” Veronica said to Zack, who blushed and looked away. “Chop, chop, chop, chop away at my heart, I can feel it falling-”

Her singing faded into the distance as Dodrio sped away, leaving large sand clouds in its wake.

“What was that about?” Milo asked.

Zack’s laugh was strained. “Oh, she was just singing ‘We’re Going to the Safari Zone’! You know, the prequel to ‘I’m Going to the Safari Zone’!”

Melissa glanced at him. “I have no idea what you heard, but what she sang was more general pop song dedicated to reining in tweenagers and middle-aged women’s hearts than a random tune someone makes up for a laugh.”

“Ah...you know, we should really run by the Center. Milo’s Pokémon took quite the beating today!” Zack exclaimed hastily.

Diogee wasn’t happy about his 24-hour ban from battles. During Nurse Joy’s examination, she’d discovered that his mouth was more sensitive than normal due to Meditite’s Force Palm. She reassured Milo that point-blank Force Palms were one of Veronica’s favorite tactics and that the resulting shock wave caused mild soreness in some Pokémon.

She proposed a soft food diet and a 24-hour ban from excessive activity, and Milo accepted it. He didn’t mind putting off the rematch.

Then they headed north, ignoring all the taunts from the potion festivals and big laundry groups in town. True to Veronica’s word, Granite Cave sat on the northern edge of the island. Signposts surrounded the entrance, containing descriptions for what kinds of Pokémon could be found inside, several warnings to trainers, and a promotional poster for a new Stumbleberry Swoobat movie.

They decided to deliver the letter to Orton before focusing on training. Melissa wanted to train Poochyena more, while Zack wanted to work on an appeal with Whismur.

Milo provided headlamps for everyone, including a special one for Diogee that accommodated his horn. He also moved several flashlights and battery packs to the front of his backpack for easy access in case the headlamps broke.

They entered the cave, and Milo was almost bowled over by a hiker screaming about darkness and stalactites.

“TURN BACK!” he screamed. “NEVER AGAIN! THE DARKNESS WILL CONSUME US ALL!” The hiker continued his hysterics on the beach, prompting an annoyed Corphish to knock him unconscious with Crabhammer.

While the cave wasn’t narrow enough to trigger Zack’s claustro-avoidant tendencies, the headlamps only provided enough light for a ten-foot radius. Everything else was shrouded in pitch black, making it impossible to discern where a passageway began.

“ECHO!” Milo shouted.

Echo! Echo! Macadamia! Echo!

Milo shrugged. “Well, I tried. Though I should really get my echo fixed.”

“Try what exactly?” Zack asked.

“Spontaneously develop echolocation,” Milo said. “Maybe you have to get bitten by radioactive Zubat first though.”

Melissa shuddered. “Let’s not. And besides, remember how we tried to fix your echo when we were eight? Lavaridge Elliot still hasn’t forgiven us for accidentally slathering him in sour cream.”

Before Zack could ask for more details, Diogee shoved Milo to the ground, narrowly avoiding several fast-moving rock projectiles. Unfortunately, the fall broke Milo’s headlamp and left their field of visibility slightly dimmer.

“Someone’s trying to use Rock Tomb on us,” Melissa said as she released Poochyena. “Keep your ears peeled, okay?”

Poochyena growled, crouching in front of Melissa protectively.

Diogee tensed, but Milo shook a finger at him. “No battling, Diogee. We’ll let Poochyena handle this.”

Diogee huffed in frustration.

“Yeah, I know. But you still have another 23 hours, so just hold tight,” Milo said as he grabbed a flashlight from his backpack. He kept the beam away from the ceiling to avoid disturbing a flock of Zubat.

The rock projectiles came flying at them again, and everybody dropped to the ground. Poochyena bared his teeth, sparks jumping out as he charged a Thunder Fang.

Then the ground under Poochyena trembled, and a large, armored head emerged and rammed into his stomach. Poochyena howled, biting down on his attacker, but his fangs were too small to penetrate the iron plates.

“That’s an Aron!” Melissa exclaimed. “Steel and Rock-type with sky-high defense! I’ve always wanted one of those!”

Mr. Chase had always refused her requests for an Aron though. He was already horrified by Melissa’s tendencies to hang around Graveler, Machop, and Milo.

“This’ll be our training time, Poochyena! Use Swagger!”

A red aura surrounded Poochyena, and he glared ferociously at Aron. Aron refused to be intimidated though, and tunneled through the ground to avoid Poochyena’s gaze. Then Aron slammed into Poochyena’s stomach again.

“Melissa, maybe you should switch to Combusken,” Zack suggested.

Melissa gritted her teeth. “No, Poochyena can do this!”

Poochyena whimpered, baring his fangs stubbornly at Aron. Sparks flew from his mouth as he jumped onto Aron’s back, then it was replaced by bright burning flames.

“Fire Fang, great job!” Melissa called. “Hang on for a little longer!”

Poochyena pressed his Fire Fang against the iron plates, and Aron wailed as she tried to buck Poochyena off. When Poochyena finally let go, Aron was breathing heavily. A fire sprung up around her armored body, even though Poochyena didn’t land another Fire Fang.

“Okay, I think Aron’s weakened enough!” Melissa raised a Poké Ball in triumph. “Welcome to the-”

A weak jolt of electricity struck her hand. Startled, Melissa dropped her Poké Ball.

“Are you okay?” Milo asked. He checked her hand in case she needed burn ointment, but the skin was smooth and unmarked.

“Don’t worry,” Melissa said. “You know how they have those slides at playgrounds with the metal bolt inside and it zaps you when you touch it? It just felt like that. I’m alright, I was just—for lack of a better word—shocked. Poochyena, use Fire Fang on whoever did that!”

A barrage of shimmering leaves struck Poochyena, and the Dark-type collapsed.

“Take a rest, okay?” Melissa said as she recalled Poochyena.

“The sign didn’t mention anything about Electric-types,” Zack said.

“Maybe it’s a Nosepass,” Milo suggested. “They have electromagnetic capabilities. Dr. Magnezone used one as a guide to help him traverse the Ionic Mountains in the Magneto Rising arc.”

Zack picked up a glossy leaf from the attack that knocked Poochyena out. “Then how do you explain the Grass-type move?”

Milo had no answer for that. He carefully approached Aron with a bottle of Burn Heal, but a telekinetic power forced his hand to drop it. Then a ballerina-like Pokémon blocked his path.

Kirlia, the Emotion Pokémon. The cheerful spirit of its Trainer gives it energy for its psychokinetic power. It spins and dances when happy, Melissa’s Pokédex said. This Kirlia is male and can evolve if exposed to a Dawn Stone. Moves include Teleport, Shock Wave, Magical Leaf, and Confusion.

“That explains the shock and leaves,” Zack said.

“I just wanted to be sure,” Melissa admitted. “Kirlia don’t naturally live in caves.”

Kirlia spread his arms, refusing to budge. His legs trembled rapidly despite his bravery.

“I just wanna treat Aron’s burn,” Milo said, holding up the Burn Heal. “If you’ll let me do this, we promise to leave you alone afterward.”

Kirlia regarded him with suspicion, but finally stepped aside and allowed Milo to spray the medicine on Aron. The burn subsided, and Aron blinked in surprise as Melissa approached and fed her an Oran Berry. Kirlia didn’t look too happy about Melissa’s proximity to Aron though.

“Sorry about that, Aron,” Melissa said as she patted the iron plates on Aron’s back. “I didn’t expect that Fire Fang either.”

All of Aron’s previous animosity vanished, and she curiously poked around in Melissa’s bag for more berries. Kirlia said something in Pokémon language that Aron clearly didn’t like, and soon the two were snapping at each other.

“Do you know what they’re saying?” Milo asked Diogee.

Diogee rolled a Poké Ball to Melissa and dropped another one in front of Milo. When Milo tried to pick it up, Diogee snatched it away.

“Diogee says Aron wants to go with Melissa but Kirlia doesn’t want his friend to leave,” Milo translated.

“I thought he just wanted to play fetch,” Zack remarked.

“I wouldn’t mind having you on the team, Aron,” Melissa said. Aron looked up hopefully. “But you should probably talk it over with Kirlia first.”

Aron rolled her eyes, trodding over to the Poké Ball that Melissa dropped earlier. She tapped it with a stubby leg and allowed herself to be sucked inside, and the Poké Ball clicked for a successful capture. Aron didn’t resist at all.

Kirlia could only stare in disbelief. Then he stomped his foot and gave every angry non-verbal gesture imaginable before shoving a Poké Ball into Milo’s hands and ordering him to throw it. Instead, Milo gently tapped the Poké Ball against Kirlia’s head.

Kirlia looked rather surprised at the gesture as he vanished in a burst of red light. The Poké Ball wobbled violently, and it took a full minute before they heard the click.

Under normal circumstances, Milo would’ve celebrated adding new Pokémon to his team, but something just felt off.

But he was still hopeful that he and Kirlia could be friends.

Turned out Aron and Kirlia had seen Orton Mahlson, though they both hid behind a large rock as he passed them.

“Do you mind leading us to him? If you know where he went, I mean,” Melissa asked.

Aron had extensive knowledge of the tunnels underneath Granite Cave. With Marshtomp’s help, they cleared a passage wide enough for everyone to squeeze through. Kirlia stayed near the back, glaring at Aron as she acted as a guide for the humans.

Aron’s tunneling led them to a large, expansive room with sunlight filtering in through cracks in the ceiling, and for once everyone could see without the use of a headlamp.

They crawled out of the hole that Aron made, surprising a man in an odd silver suit. His light brown hair was half-hidden by a gray steampunk styled hat, and one shoe was futuristic and sleek while the other resembled a sandal from ancient times. Although he was missing the giant magnet prop he wore on his right hand for the show, he still wore the iconic robot-like backpack.

Milo was instantly starstruck. “Hi, Orton Mahlson, sir! My name’s Milo Murphy and I’m a really huge fan of your show and your work as Champion! These are my friends Melissa Chase and Zack Underwood! And my Absol, Diogee! Oh, and we just caught the Aron and Kirlia!”

“Whoa, you look a lot older than you do on TV,” Zack said.

Orton raised an eyebrow. “And you kids tunneled all the way here to tell me that? I’m not here to give autographs or shelfies or however you kids commemorate meeting celebrities these days. You’ll have to wait for the next sci-fi convention when my agent’s present.”

“Well, not exactly,” Milo said. “But if you’re offering-”

Melissa elbowed Milo. “We met your dad, Orville Mahlson, after we stopped Team Magma from stealing important data from his company. He wanted us to deliver this letter to you. Oh, and he mentioned you’d be in Granite Cave, and we befriended this Aron and Kirlia who saw you walk by and agreed to help us find you. Please don’t file restraining orders for stalking against us.”

She handed Orville’s letter over. Orton’s mouth twitched in amusement as he ripped open the envelope, took one look at the paper inside, and laughed so hard that he overbalanced from the weight of his backpack and fell to the ground.

The letter fluttered out of his grip and landed on Milo’s shoes.

Dear Orton,

Hi!

Love, Dad

“We stumbled through a cave without natural light for this?” Melissa complained.

Milo couldn’t help but laugh too. “You have to admit, it’s pretty funny after you get over the shock.”

“You guys got an Aron and Kirlia now. It wasn’t entirely pointless,” Zack said.

Orton finally stopped laughing, wiping a tear from his eye as he stood up. “I’m so sorry about that, kids,” he said, though he still sounded like he was going to have another bout of laughter. “My old man’s a jokester. It’s not the first time he’s pulled something like this.”

“He could’ve texted you,” Melissa replied, making it clear she didn’t find the situation all that funny.

“I suppose, but he likes to have fun,” Orton admitted. “Tell you what, since you went through all that trouble for a delivery, why don’t I make it worth your while? Do kids still like ancient paintings?”

“We sure do!” Milo exclaimed.

“Excellent!” Orton said. “Painting’s on the far wall! If you’ll follow me!”

A massive, ancient painting had been etched onto the smooth stone wall. The left side depicted an enormous behemoth whose presence triggered volcanic eruptions and earthquakes, leaving desolate, parched earth in its wake. Its gaping maw shot columns of fire into the sky.

The right side displayed an oceanic leviathan capable of stirring up devastating thunderstorms and tsunamis. Swirling vortexes of water swallowed entire islands, leaving nothing but churning, murky waves behind.

Orton allowed everyone time to look over the painting before he spoke. “This is where I come for inspiration. As I’m sure you’re aware, I draw inspiration from old myths and legends. For example, the character Roserade Verde was inspired by local stories from the woodcutters around Ilex Forest, who say there’s a presence called the Voice of the Forest. There’s a shrine supposedly hidden somewhere deep in those woods.”

“So are you planning to use this painting somehow in the future?” Milo asked.

Orton chuckled. “I’m not going to answer that. Some of you become rather huffy about spoilers. But there’s another a reason I’m here. I’ve been helping my old man find proof that the Legendary Pokémon said to have created Hoenn have another form. A form that wields such incomprehensible power and devastating strength. Energy that is supposedly similar to Mega Evolution, yet not quite the same. To think that such a terrible and awe-inspiring battle could’ve happened in recorded history...it’s all quite fascinating.”

Orton took a breath, ready to gush more about ancient legends, but heavy footprints echoed from the corridor. Kirlia and Aron tensed, and Diogee whined about having to stay put if there was a battle.

“Just my luck running into you three again,” someone said from the corridor. “As if my current co-workers aren’t enough of a headache already.”

“It’s John!” Zack gasped when they recognized the Aqua member who obscured his hair and eyes with a large blue bandana, then frowned. “Okay, that sounded a lot more frightening in my head.”

“Yeah, he just doesn’t have a terrifying name,” Melissa agreed.

“He should change it to like, the Blue Scourge or something,” Milo said.

John ignored them as he shoved past Orton and examined the painting.

“Um, I’m kinda out of the loop here,” Orton said.

“He threatened an old lady to reveal something about paintings, and we kicked his coworkers’ butts in a Pokémon battle,” Melissa supplied.

“How does he even see with that bandana?” Milo asked.

Zack shrugged. “I just assume it’s see-through.”

“Everybody shut up,” John growled. “It’s obvious you all can’t recognize what’s happening even when the entire story is right in front of you.”

“Entire story?” Orton echoed.

John glared at him, and Orton withered slightly. “For a Champion, you’re the densest moron I’ve ever met. And I work for a dense moron too, so that’s saying something. It’s your duty to protect every inhabitant of your region through knowledge. And instead, you’re just eating up the attention, focusing on silly, trivial things that may be here today but will fade away in time.”

“Hey, don’t call him those things!” Milo protested.

John’s head swiveled around, his lips pursing into a thin white line. Diogee growled and pushed Milo behind him. “Call off your mutt,” John said. “I’m not wasting my time with a pointless battle.”

“Down, Diogee,” Milo whispered, gently pushing on his shoulders until he finally backed off.

“By the way, there’s a third aspect you’re forgetting,” John called over his shoulder as he departed from the room.

“That guy’s real cheery,” Melissa muttered.

This chapter is dedicated to everyone who’s ever had trouble with Brawly and his Makuhita. He’s not really that formidable in ORAS, but in Gen 3 you don’t want his Makuhita getting in all those Bulk Ups and demolishing your team with Vital Throw. Plus, if you inflict a status condition on it, it has the Guts ability which will make it even stronger.

Meditate raises Attack, which in turn would raise the power of Force Palm. Force Palm also has a 30% chance of paralysis, which unfortunately happened to Marshtomp. Meditite also has the Pure Power ability, which doubles its Attack.

Kirlia’s Pokedex entry is the Firered/Leafgreen and X description. I really love the Ralts line.

Aron family is another Gen 3 favorite as well!

The gang meeting Orton in person is pretty much a modified version of Sara, Melissa, and Zack meeting Orton in Missing Milo.

Orton’s outfit in this story is basically a silver colored version of the Dr. Zone outfit, and with a magnet instead of a gift box.

In ORAS, the paintings in Granite Cave depend on the version you play. Omega Ruby has Groudon, Alpha Sapphire has Kyogre. Here they’re side by side.

#milo murphy's law #oras au #absolutely disastrous #melissa chase #zack underwood #diogee #pokemon

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dustedmagazine · 6 years ago

Text

Dust, Volume 5, Number 7

Cy Dune’s Seth Olinsky

It’s summer time finally, and who wants to be bothered with 3000-word essays on the obscure but worthy? Not us, we want shorter reviews for longer days. We’ve got cannonballs to do off lake piers, carbonized meat to ingest, cold brews to drink. So that we can get back to all that, we deliver a robust Dust with the usual mix of garage rockers, Chicago improv’ers, acoustic finger-pickers, up and comers and lately revived-ers. We hope you enjoy it, sitting out there on your deck or fire escape or stoop...and don’t forget the sun screen. Contributors this time include Andrew Forell, Ben Remsen, Justin Cober-Lake, Jennifer Kelly, Isaac Olson, Bill Meyer and Jonathan Shaw.

Martin Brandlmayr — Vive Les Fantômes (Thrill Jockey)

Austrian drummer/composer Martin Brandlmayr’s award winning radio opera Vive Les Fantômes (Long live the Ghosts) combines spoken word and jazz samples with experimental electronics and percussion to create a dialogue across time and genres between Brandlmayr and some of his influences including Thelonious Monk, Miles Davis, Billie Holiday, Jacques Derrida and Hitchcock’s Vertigo. Snatches of live music - a trumpet tuning up, a piano run – emerge between Brandlmayr’s understated free drumming, subtle electronics and the occasional bracing burst of noise. Monk talks sound, Miles issues instructions, and Derrida answers the telephone to speak with an unheard interlocutor. Over an engaging 53 minutes samples repeat in various juxtapositions to create relationships and emphasize their mutability. The spectral voices of long gone cultural giants speak of human frailty and the strength of the creative act. Vive Les Fantômes poignantly addresses memory and mortality. The piece closes on Derrida speaking for the first time in English “OK, I’ll be very glad to meet you. Goodbye.” Et Fin.

Andrew Forell

Burial — Claustro/State Forest (Hyperdub)

Claustro / State Forest by Burial

William Bevan AKA Burial changed the face of electronica with the release of his eponymous debut album in 2006. His take on dubstep, jungle and ambient continues to influence producers, and his releases are highly anticipated. This first release since 2017 distills the elements that have enthralled and intrigued since the debut. A-side “Claustro” returns to Burial’s roots in jungle and rave. Vinyl crackle coats a four-to-the-floor shuffle and a vocal sample repeats in glorious swells of billowing, cloud-like sounds. It’s exhilarating albeit tinged with Burial’s signature yearning melancholy before it drops, dissolves into twinkling stars “Are you ready?” repeats and then “This song goes out to that boy.” before it kicks back in with an almost cheesy refrain “I got my eye on you, tonight.” which in turn fades back to crackle. “State Forest” is a completely different beast. A rich ambient narrative rich in atmospherics, found sounds and keening waves of synths creeping through a desolate landscape of shadow and dread. The funereal pace unfolds with miniscule details — broken twigs underfoot, drips of rain, quiet exhalations — then sudden silence. Burial places the listener in this environment, observant if not omnipotent or omnipresent, like the narrator of a classic Antinovel. Yet “State Forest” is not alienating or discursive. It shows rather than explains — a direct experience like a Beckett tale. It is his most effective piece of music since “Come Down to Us” and its obliqueness is the key to its power.

Andrew Forell

Cy Dune — Desert (Lightning)

youtube

Akron/Family blended so many influences during their ten-year run that they avoided easy classification. With the collaborative nature of the group and its members switching instruments, it was hard to know what came from who, or whether the whole thing was just a bit of folky synergy. Then the band split up, and the years passed. Dana Janssen created Dana Buoy, an unexpected electropop duo more suited for clubs than for Akron/Family's wildernesses. Seth Olinsky, after a couple quick release years ago, emerges now as Cy Dune, with a sound much more in line with the Akron/Family aesthetic.

On Desert, Olinksy's songwriting and guitar playing provide the center of the album, but only to set up the weirdness that surrounds them. The bluesy stomp of “When You Pass Me” puts Cy Dune in the roots tradition, but the jazz influences remain strong enough that it's no surprise that bassist William Parker shows up. “Desert 2” offers chamber oddity, more a sketch than a song, but then “Desert 3” steps into the garage for some rock. Across this short album, Olinsky crams in a five-year hiatus's worth of ideas. The freak-folk of “It Is the Is” closes with some dissonance, a hint of a jazz, and a happy reminder that Cy Dune's desert archives are only beginning to open up.

Justin Cober-Lake

Angharad Davies / Rie Nakajima / Alice Purton — Dethick (Another Timbre)

youtube

What is a score? Sometimes it is a series of staffs marked on lined paper. Sometimes it is a set of images, which may be followed according to varying degrees of specificity. Sometimes it mandates a piece of music down to the smallest detail, sometimes it offers suggestions, and sometimes it gets ignored. It’s common enough for improvisers to select partners based on their musical personalities rather than the instruments they play, so one might say that the selection is a compositional act. In this situation violinist Angharad Davies, cellist Alice Purton and sound artist Rie Nakajima (she plays kinetic devices and found objects) chose to play together for a couple days in a small church in Dethick, England. The choice to play together, the instruments they brought, the chapel’s accouterments and acoustics — that’s the score. The CD’s ten pieces sound like artifacts of a search for possibilities. How close to the language of chamber music, the shared vernacular of the two string players should they hew? How do things sound when you shake them? What does this organ sound like? What will these stone walls and stained glass windows do to the sounds? And what will one player do in the face of each other’s actions? Decisions in the face of puzzlement; that’s how these three women played this score.

Bill Meyer

Dehd — Water

Water by DEHD

Dehd’s Water is spare and sharp, with ambling jangles of prickly guitar, a thud of bass, a shattering clank of snare on the upbeats. The Chicagoan trio — that’s Jason Balla (of Ne-Hi and Earring), Emily Kempf (of Vail and ex- of Lala Lala) and Eric McGrady — situate their songs within the tradition of scrubbed bare garage clangor, albeit with a rockabilly-ish twang sometimes flaring in the guitar lines. The one lavish, elaborate element is vocals, which twine and descant and swirl around each other, though never with undue precision. “Wild,” which leads off the disc, conjoins their various cracked and yearning voices in complicated points and counterparts, sometimes in lush, romantic sustained notes, others in percussive, time-keeping chants. “Lucky” starts in single-voiced sincerity and erupts into massive, girl-group sha-la-la-las (though some of them sung by men). Balla and Kempf recorded these songs while breaking up as a couple; they currently tour them as exes, which must lend the tunes a bit of extra ragged edge. Perhaps that’s why songs like “On My Side” are so fetching, sung with shredded hurt and blistered melody, but reaching for sweetness and finding it.

Jennifer Kelly

DJ Lag and Okzharp — Steamrooms EP (Hyperdub)

Steam Rooms EP by DJ Lag and OKZharp

Durban-based South African Gqom producer DJ Lag teams with London’s Okzharp on the raw, percussion-heavy EP Steamrooms, their first collaboration for Hyperdub. The word Gqom, an onomatopoeia based on the Zulu word for ricochet, is said to mimic the sound of hitting a drum. Steamrooms contains none of the joyful lightness one expects from South African house. This is strictly a woozy, dangerous, disorientating amalgamation of heavy militaristic drums, Zulu chants and stabbing synths tempered somewhat by Okzharp’s grimy London influence. The effect is late-night sweaty club as the drugs are wearing off ad euphoria slips into something sinister and unhinged, but it’s undeniably exciting. I can’t go on; I must go on. Steamrooms’ four tracks exhort you to move till you drop. “Nyusa” encapsulates the atmosphere, shrouded in hiss, a funky unadorned synth riff clangs over an exhausted chant from a breathless dancer and drums thud beneath. The end of the night if not the world.

Andrew Forell

Fetid — Steeping Corporeal Mess (20 Buck Spin)

Steeping Corporeal Mess by Fetid

This new record from Seattle death metal band Fetid may be the essential corrective to our national imaginary’s notion of that city as a monolithic site of liberal social policy, coffee “drinks” with lots of soy and greenwashed, vaguely cosmopolitan modes of cultural production. How many of us remember that Sir Mix-a-Lot, he of boundless enthusiasm for humanity’s anterior, is a Seattle native? Fetid share his interest in the undersides of bodies, and of things. There’s a decidedly intestinal — if not rectal — vibe to the unpleasant cover art for Steeping Corporeal Mess, and songs like “Dripping Subtepidity” and “Reeking Within” indicate a willingness to palpate beneath the Pacific Northwest’s famously moist terrain, to squish and squelch away in its rot and lukewarm organic goo. For a certain kind of listener, this may be the most fun you’ll have with a record this spring. For sure it’ll make you remember why David Lynch chose Washington state for Twin Peaks: who can forget the scene when Agent Cooper slides his long tweezers under Laura Palmer’s fingernail, to pull out a letter “R”? Or how long he has to dig around under there for it?

Jonathan Shaw

The French Tips — It's the Tips (Self Released)

It's the Tips by The French Tips

First: if The French Tips come to town, go. They recently toured with fellow Boiseans Built to Spill and blew them off the stage. As for the self-titled, self-released souvenir I took home: it’s got three great songs, (the first three, conveniently) five that are never worse than good, no duds and a lot of potential. It’s an excellent EP padded into honorable debut. The French Tips’ sound is indebted to, among others, Sleater-Kinney and Savages, but their guileless commitment to community, manifested in onstage instrument switches, shared vocal duties, their embrace of disco beats and a fat, confident, bottom end warms up their post-punk sonics considerably. The disco influence is as much spiritual as it is rhythmic: despite their righteous skronk und drang, despite oceanic guitar and bass which rage and release, surge and ebb, flash and hide, this is dance music, music to help you exorcise the bullshit. The French Tips is a bit green, but should they wish to pursue it, this is a band that deserves a record deal. Thesis statement: “Me and my witches about to burn it down”. I hope they do.

Isaac Olson

Friendship — Undercurrent (Southern Lord)

Undercurrent by Friendship

In this period of endless sub-sub-genres and hybrid forms in heavy music, it’s refreshing to hear a band with a sound that’s so straightforward. Friendship play hardcore: fast, vicious, intense songs that establish a riff and stick with it. Song titles say a lot: “Punishment,” “Lack,” “Garbage,” “Wrecker.” And so on. They’re succinct. There’s usually a breakdown section. There’s a bunch of d-beat songs. If you average the track lengths, you get almost exactly two minutes. It’s all really loud. They probably play really loud when you see them live. They can probably clear the room pretty quickly. It’s sort of fun that these guys call their band “Friendship.” It’s a good record to play when the neighbors put on Fox News. It’s a good way to say, “I don’t want to be your friend.”

Jonathan Shaw

Froth — Duress (Wichita)

Duress by Froth

It’s been a million years, it seems, since we were captivated by the “Yanni/Laurel” debate, a single murmured phrase that sounded like different things to different people. It was like that baked late-night meandering discussion about whether what I see as red is the same as yours come to life, and it vanished into the ravenous maw of internet culture. Except that Froth, an L.A. band currently on its fourth album, made a song about it, “Laurel,” full of clashing guitars and slow unspooling anarchy and whispery narratives. It could be the softest heavy rocker ever or the loudest twee fuzzed bedroom pop, depending on how you hear it. There’s a constant buzz at the bottom of all Froth’s songs, broken more often than not, by a reach for radiant melody. Froth makes an altogether engaging racket that borrows sleepily from Teenaged Fanclubs, in a fuzz-needled daze from MBV. “77,” the second single throws off the anorak for a denatured krautish groove, while “John Peel Slowly,” an instrumental, sketches a dream-landscape with loose-stringed bass, piano and space noises. Make your own sense of it, though. What you hear is largely up to you.

Jennifer Kelly

Burton Greene / Damon Smith / Ra Kalam Bob Moses — Life’s Intense Mystery CD (Astral Spirits)

Life's Intense Mystery by Greene / Smith / Moses

If you can translate words into vectors, the name of this album tells you a lot about the forces at work. While pianist Burton Greene and drummer Ra Kalam Bob Moses were born over a decade apart, both were touched by the 1960s’ cosmic spirit. And when you put Patty Waters’ preferred pianist on the same stage with Weasel Walter’s most enduring bassist, intensity is on the agenda. But if you had to boil this music down to one image, it would be the symbol for yin and yang. Opposing forces often complement each other. When the pianist mugs a bit on “Kid Play,” the bass goes with the ferocity of a bull that just figured out that the fight is rigged; and when Moses and Smith dance light and lithe on “Perc-Waves,” Greene deploys some more percussion that asserts an unbudging center of gravity. And if you want to ignore all the metaphors, you can just let yourself fall into the force of this music’s mercurial flow.

Bill Meyer

Invasive Species — Adapter (Baggage Claim)

Adapter by Invasive Species

You know the story; the drummer takes his solo, and the audience heads out for a beer or a piss. Invasive Species’ LP suggests that the problem isn’t drum music, it’s just that you’ve been listening to the wrong drummers and maybe there aren’t enough of them. Kevin Corcoran and Jon Bafus have been playing together for nine years, performing mostly within the city limits of Sacramento, California. Separately, their affiliations range encompass prog bands, Asian fusion ambient music and improvised exchanges with members of the ROVA Saxophone Quartet. Together, they play music that is concerned less with genre than with the possibilities of two augmented drum kits. Grooves collide and mesh, textures interweave and pull tight, meters multiply and never do these combinations seem designed to show off either musician’s prodigious chops. Rather, they show what a marvelous brain massage intuitively organized beats can provide.

Bill Meyer

Tyler Keen / Jacob Wick — S-T (Silt Editions)

Tyler Keen and Jacob Wick may employ different means, but their sounds make sense embedded on either side of a short strip of tape. Both men make noise that gets more complicated the closer you listen to it, and neither particularly needs volume to get noisy. Keen starts out with a blast, but once that subsides unintelligible walkie-talkie chatter, sputtering static, and the sounds of a cassette being snapped into a player pass before your ears. This is restless stuff, paced for the days when you haven’t been able to refill your Adderall RX and can’t be bothered to wait. Wick plays trumpet, probably muted by things they don’t tell you about in jazz school and definitely filtered through the sounds of room and non-invisible recording gear. Fueled by circular breathing that sustains a rarely broken stream of air, Wick’s horn rasps and hisses. Imagine that the sounds of a moth made of steel wool masticating its way through a warehouse full of old army blankets have been transmitted down a gutter and thence onto tape, and you just might imagine the sounds of Wick’s side of this cassette.

This is the second release by Silt Editions, a label with no web footprint aside from an email address ([email protected]). At press time, there were still a few copies in various distributors’ stocks. Happy hunting.

Bill Meyer

Rob Noyes — “You Are Tired” / “Nightmare Study” (Market Square Records)

You Are Tired b/w Nightmare Study by Rob Noyes

There’s no one way to do things, but the 45 rpm single seems tailor-made for playing late at night. “Just one more,” you tell yourself, fishing old records from the shelf and sitting companionably alongside the memories they conjure out of the commingling of sound, mind and the sensate experience of dust transferring from the sleeve to your fingers. “Well, maybe another one.” Rob Noyes is on to your game, and the tune on A-side of the Massachusetts-based 12-string guitar player’s latest record sees through your self-delusion and tells you like it really is. The chiming melody is as ingratiating as a late-night tug on the arm from a loved one. “Aren’t you going to come to bed?” But you’re on a roll, so you flip the record, expecting to hear another cantering tune. That’s when Noyes pulls you down the rabbit hole and into a state of consciousness that the sleep-deprived know only too well. Noyes has mastered a technique that makes him sound like a tape playing backwards even though he’s actually strumming in real time. It’s a neat trick, but it serves a function beyond showing Noyes’ imagination and technical acumen. By plunging the listener into a state of blurry disorientation, it confronts them with the next-day consequences of playing records late into the night.

Bill Meyer

Pelican — Nighttime Stories (Southern Lord)

Nighttime Stories by Pelican

Pelican’s sixth full-length starts in a pensive mode, an acoustic guitar ushering in “WST.” The guitar belonged to guitarist Dallas Thomas’ lately deceased father, and it sets a somber tone. Death haunts these bludgeoning, moody grooves, giving Nighttime Stories a heaviness that can’t be ascribed purely to guitar tone. Later, in the crushing stomp of “Cold Hope,” Pelican grinds relentlessly, the drums scattershot volleys of explosive angst. “Arteries of Blacktop” is likewise weighted and slow, a massive bass churn slugging it out with viscous sheets of amplified guitar sheen. Yet there’s a great deal of epic, serene gorgeousness, too — in the minor key strumming of “Full Moon, Black Water,” the mathy, knotty acrobatic riffs of “Abyssal Plain,” the slow building drone of “It Stared at Me.” The album title commemorates a friend of the band, Jody Minnoch, who died unexpectedly of heart problems in 2014; he’d meant to use the phrase for a Tusk album, but passed before he could do so. The title track glowers with volcanic life force. Hip deep in mourning and existential query, it celebrates a muscular, triumphant still-here-ness.

Jennifer Kelly

Spiral Wave Nomads — Spiral Wave Nomads (Feeding Tube / Twin Lakes)

Spiral Wave Nomads by Spiral Wave Nomads

Spiral Wave Nomads is a two man, two state band. Eric Hardiman (guitars, bass, sitar) lives in upstate New York, and drummer Michael Kiefer lives in Connecticut. This means that distances must be traveled if the two of them are to meet face to face, which is how substantial parts of this LP of cosmic instrumentals was made. And what better thing to do as you cross the verdant hills of the Northeastern USA than jam some tunes? Drifting alone to these ascending guitar lines and undulating percussive surges, it’s easy to imagine one or the other Nomad rounding some valley road and flashing on Popol Vuh’s Aguirre. “Was that a fly fisherman standing in the river, or did I see some conquistador on a raft, hollering at the monkeys?” Drift and drive a little longer and they might marvel at the play of striating light across the clouds and associating to some past pleasantly dreamy experiences involving a CD player loaded with Neu and Jimi Hendrix. All of which is a fanciful way to say that these guys sound like they have done their space rock homework, and they put their knowledge to good use on this LP. So don’t throw away the download code; you might want to program your own rural adventure with these tones.

Bill Meyer

Chad Taylor — Myths and Morals (Eyes & Ears)

Myths and Morals by Chad Taylor

One day at the end of last summer, Chad Taylor showed what it takes to be an MVP. Over the course of one long, humid Sunday afternoon on a semi-shaded stage at the Chicago Jazz Festival, he played three consecutive sets with three different bands. He sustained the set-length dynamics of Jaime Branch’s Fly or Die, swung muscularly with the Jason Stein Quartet, and managed the mercurial flow of the Eric Revis Quartet. He might have soaked through a shirt, but he never dropped a beat, nor did he ever seem less than tuned in to the particular requirements of those three quite different ensembles.

Myths and Morals most closely corresponds to another of Taylor’s projects, the Chicago Underground Duo. While his equipment is restricted to drum kit and mbira (thumb piano), his compositional imagination is wide open. These pieces may tarry for a moment on some texture or pattern, but for the most part they are studies in constant development. Precision and restraint yield surprise and mystery; the music is so involving and complete that it’s easy to forget that you’re listening to solo percussion.

Bill Meyer

Chris Welcome and His Orchestra — Beyond All Things (Gauci Music)

Beyond All Things by Chris Welcome & His Orchestra

A free jazz octet might sound like caviar soup: too much of an indulgent thing. Chris Welcome makes it work here, harnessing the noisy tendencies of this roomful of younger New York players with some light-touch compositional structure and a willingness to swing. In under half an hour, we go from a free-time fanfare highlighting the gestural playing of trumpeter Jaimie Branch and tenorist Sam Weinberg through to a medium-firm groove laid down by bassist Shayna Dulberger and drummer Mike Pride, over which cornetist Kirk Knuffke blows with a coolness so confident that it sounds like the swing feel of the composition was summoned by his playing, not the other way around. Minutes later, that groove gets harder and altoist Anthony Ware delivers a fiery solo while the rest of the horns chatter in the background like they’re doing avant-garde Dixieland (an approach perhaps being alluded to by the appellation “and His Orchestra”). Welcome himself mostly hides behind the sonic bushes, his heavily effected guitar and synthesizer offering eerie interjections and a short woozy solo halfway through the piece. He’s a virtuoso guitarist, but here he gets to be a virtuoso organizer, savvy enough to know the amount of organization called for.

Ben Remsen

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the--highlanders · 7 years ago

Text

“We have to be quiet.” /“You’re trembling.” /“I feel like I can’t breathe.”

for @ettelwenailinon.

on ao3.

Jamie clutched at the Doctor’s sleeve, pulling him away from the box. “Do we have tae go in there, Doctor?”

“Hush, Jamie!” The Doctor clambered inside, taking advantage of the iron grip on his arm to pull Jamie in after him. “We have to be quiet. Whatever that thing chasing us is, it seems to have exceptionally good hearing.” He fumbled to get a hold of the lid, and Jamie glanced around nervously, hoping that they had lost their pursuer.

“Isn’t there anywhere else we could hide?” he asked.

“This is the best place,” the Doctor said, lowering the lid over them. “Now, if we just give it a few minutes -”

“Don’t!” Jamie slammed his hand up against the lid instinctively, wincing as he struck the metal but succeeding in keeping it open by a few inches. The resulting bang echoed across the empty grasslands, and the Doctor flinched.

“What has gotten into you, Jamie?” He tried to grab Jamie’s hand and close the lid, but to no avail.

“Don’t close it just yet,” Jamie begged.

The Doctor did not seem to have heard him. “You do realise what you’ve done, don’t you? You’ve made the weather tower into a – a beacon for that thing out there! It’ll find us in minutes!”

“And...” Jamie searched desperately for some suitable explanation of his actions. He was not entirely sure he understood them himself. “This way we can see it comin’,” he said at last. “It glows in the dark, remember?”

“That’s only helpful if it comes up in front of us,” the Doctor pointed out darkly. He paused, taking in Jamie’s wide eyes and ragged breathing. “Ah – Jamie, are you quite sure you’re feeling alright?”

“I’m fine.” Jamie peered out of the box, avoiding the Doctor’s gaze. The cool air on his skin calmed his racing heart, and he managed to compose himself a little. “Just a wee bit out of breath, that’s all. An’ - well, I dinnae like waiting for it tae find us.”

“I think there’s more to it than that.” The Doctor reached over to place his hand on Jamie’s shoulder comfortingly, but Jamie shook it off. “Jamie -” Something caught his eye, and he froze. “Jamie, let go of the lid.”

“What -”

“Now!” The Doctor grabbed Jamie’s waist, pulling him down on top of him. The lid slammed shut, and Jamie’s breath caught in his throat. The earth beneath them was shuddering with the impact of heavy footsteps, and he tightened his hold on the Doctor’s coat, hearing the creature turn towards them.

Something heavy collided with the box, denting the lid. Jamie curled further into the Doctor, muffling his cry of alarm in his chest. “What’s it doin’?”

Whatever had fallen on them must have been sharp, he thought, shivering. The Doctor was squinting up at a small hole that had been torn in the lid. “It’s reared up on its hind legs,” he said softly. The ground was shaking again, this time with the falling of debris as the tower was pushed around above them. “It must think we’re in the tower – oh. No, it’s getting down now – I think it might be heading off!”

The creature let out a snort of frustration as its footsteps receded away. Jamie breathed a sigh of relief. “Can we get out now?”

“We’re lucky it’s not the brightest of things,” the Doctor continued, allowing himself a small smile. “Ah – no, I don’t think so. It’ll be scouring the grasslands for us for a while yet, if it’s stubborn enough to follow us all the way here. It seems as if it’s been bred for tracking.” He patted Jamie’s back comfortingly. “I know you’re worried for Victoria.”

“Victoria,” Jamie echoed blankly. He had almost forgotten about her in his panic. “Aye. I am.” The words sounded flat, emotionless, and he could almost hear the Doctor’s mind ticking over, his thoughts echoing through the box.

“Not Victoria, then,” he murmured to himself. “What is worrying you, Jamie?”

“Nothin’!” Jamie insisted. “I’m fine. As fine as I can be, with that thing lookin’ for us.”

“You’re trembling,” the Doctor said quietly. He looked up at Jamie pleadingly, eyes glinting through the darkness. “Tell me what’s wrong, Jamie, please.”

“I’ve told ye!” Jamie wanted to scramble away from him, to hide his face, to ignore the Doctor’s endless questions, but the half-caved-in roof left him with little room. “There’s nothing wrong!” He tugged at his collar with shaking hands. The Doctor’s concern felt like a flame blazing through the confined space, and he was burning up with it. “I – what if we suffocate in here?”

“There’s plenty of air, I assure you,” the Doctor said, frowning. “Are you ill?”

“No – no, there’s no’, it’s all stuffy -” Jamie sat up, untangling himself from the Doctor as best he could. His head collided with the lid, and he winced, squeezing his eyes shut. “I cannae – I feel like cannae breathe.” His eyes were stinging - whether with pain or with panic, he was unsure. Tears dripped down his cheeks even as he covered his face with his hands. “Tell me we’re not going tae die here,” he choked out weakly.

The Doctor reached out towards him, then seemed to think better of it, huddling closer to his side of the box to give Jamie more space. “We’re not going to die here,” he said gently. “Jamie, tell me -” Jamie shook his head. “This is important, Jamie – you remember that time with the yeti, hm? And I had you hide in the box? Did you feel like this then?”

“A – aye. Something like it. What does it matter?” Jamie risked glancing up at the Doctor, looking away quickly when he saw his sympathetic expression. “I dinnae want pity.”

“I don’t pity you,” the Doctor said. “Far from it. You’ve been very brave.” Jamie snorted. “But I made you suffer, then and now, and – you really should have told me.”

“I just want tae – tae know what’s wrong with me.” Jamie’s voice quavered and then broke, his next words coming in a hoarse whisper. “Can ye fix it? Can ye give me somethin’ - somethin’ from the TARDIS?”

“I’m afraid not. But it’s just claustrophobia -”

“Claustro – what?” Jamie forced the question out from between gritted teeth, but regretted it a moment later. He clenched his jaw tighter, fearing that if he opened his mouth again he might be sick.

“Claustrophobia,” the Doctor repeated. “Fear of tight spaces. We should be able to manage it. For now -” He pushed the lid of the box open, standing up to step out of it. “I think we have a little bit of elbow room to find a better hiding spot, don’t you?”

Jamie remained curled in the corner of the box, his knees drawn up to his chest. After a long moment, he found that he could breathe again, the twilight breeze cold on his flushed cheeks. Managing to swallow one sob, he gasped out another, grimacing when he realised what he had done. “Sorry,” he whispered. “It’ll hear us -” Uncovering his face, he glanced around at the grasslands. “It’s gone,” he realised.

“For the moment.” The Doctor reached down to take Jamie’s hand and help him stumble out of the box. “Do you think the grass is tall enough that it won’t find us?”

Jamie shrugged, following him away from the tower. “Can we – can we rest a bit?” he asked.

“Yes, I think so.” Ducking amongst the grasses, the Doctor gave a murmur of satisfaction when he found a small hollow in the ground. “It shouldn’t see us here,” he said gently. “We can sit here, and – ah – get our breath back.”

Jamie sat down beside him, squeezing his hand gratefully. “Mm.” The panic was fading now. His mind felt numb and slow, and his lips did not seem to want to form words properly. “Doctor?”

“Mm?”

“Thank ye.”

The Doctor smiled, sadness and regret flickering in the depths of his expression. “I’ll do better by you in future, Jamie. I promise.”

#second doctor #fanfic archive #my writing

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nelsonmochilero · 5 years ago

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🌟ESTAMOS EN EL MISMO BARCO / WE'RE ON THE SAME #BOAT //🇪🇦ES Mientras el mundo toma distintas medidas frente a la pandemia unos se apresuran más que otros a salir de sus claustros. Una cosa es cierta: No tenemos la menos idea de lo que va a pasar. Simplemente estamos siendo precavidos. Por eso subrayo el hecho de vivir el presente y estar en el momento. Mucha gente se está proyectando al futuro y haciendo planes para evitar tener que adaptarse a la situación. La negación es un mecanismo de defensa, si. Pero no nos defendamos de nosotros mismos. Estamos en el mismo barco. Antes de pensar cuál será el siguiente destino de viajes habría que pensar en la gente que no vemos, la familia que esta sola, los amigos que necesitan ayuda. Pongámonos de pie en el presente, el mañana llegará por sí solo. ⭐ @NelsonMochilero Esta foto la tomé en el increíble Lago Fagnano, Tierra del Fuego, #Argentina. Frente al #camping Hain. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ //🇬🇧ENG As the world takes different measures about the pandemic, some are rushing more than others to leave their cloisters. One thing is certain: We have no idea what is going to happen. We are simply being cautious. That is why I stress the fact of living in the present and being in the moment. Many people are projecting themselves into the future and making plans to avoid having to adapt to the situation. Denial is a defense mechanism, yes. But let's not defend from ourselves. We are in the same boat. Before thinking about the next travel destination, we should think about the people we don't see, the family that is alone,friends who need help. Let's stand in the present, tomorrow will come on its own. ⭐ #NelsonMochilero This photo was taken in the fantastic Fagnano Lake, #TierradelFuego, Argentina. In front of the Hain campsite. . . . . . . . . . . . . #paisajes #earthvacations #Travel #wonderful_places #greatshotz #landscapes #landscape #wonderful_places #landscape_lovers #landscape_captures #landscapephotography #welivetoexplore #exploremore (en Argentina) https://www.instagram.com/p/B_0LVYenVsp/?igshid=1di6knfga8753

#boat #argentina #camping #nelsonmochilero #tierradelfuego #paisajes #earthvacations #travel #wonderful_places #greatshotz #landscapes #landscape #landscape_lovers #landscape_captures #landscapephotography #welivetoexplore #exploremore

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empressdrega27 · 8 years ago

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The Dragon and the Pharaoh

WOOO! And so it begins~

@claustro-phobic-turtle @dem-obscure-imagines

Enjoy!

Chapter One: Stolen Property

Elizabeth snarled. A low raspy sound that came from deep in her chest. It was a quirk of hers, that snarl. She only did it when she was royally pissed about something. And at the moment, she had a really good reason to be royally pissed.

Drega (that was her code name) wasn’t the most popular girl on the Young Justice roster, and when she was officially inducted into the honest to goodness Justice League, her popularity plummeted even lower. It was Stargirl and Batgirl mostly. For some reason, they despised her. They never gave her an explanation why, but they made sure she knew how much they hated her.

This was the first time they’d stolen from her though.

It had been a book. A book of ancient dragon spells, and most importantly, it had been a gift from a dear friend. Elizabeth’s predecessor, Konnex, the former king of Arkaydia. It was a beautiful book, bound in black leather with a special lock on the front. Only someone with the skill to use the spells inside, could open the book and read it. Not to mention that the whole book was written in Draconic.

So why would someone steal a book they couldn’t read?

Because they were petty, idiotic children. That’s why.

And it wasn’t even that they had stolen the book that made Elizabeth so angry, it was the fact that they had somehow convinced Zatanna to help them. Stargirl, Batgirl, and their following of moronic, braindead ditzes had stolen the book and told Zatanna that they were holding an ‘interdimensional scavenger hunt’ with Elizabeth. They assured Zatanna that Elizabeth knew all about this and of course she’ll be fine with it! It was her idea after all!

So Zatanna opened a portal to a random dimension and dropped the book right into it.

As she recalled the memory, Elizabeth’s snarl developed into a full on growl. Her fangs were poking out and her ears were lowered close to her head. Who was it that had taught Zatanna how to open a portal in the first place?! Elizabeth. Who had searched endlessly for a way to free Zatanna’s father?! Elizabeth! And who made sure that Zatanna had a someone to talk to and train with?! ELIZABETH.

She wanted to scream. How could she?! Zatanna knew what those girls were like and she still helped them!

Elizabeth stopped and took a deep breath. She had to calm down. There was nothing to be gained from loosing her temper.

Elizabeth was the protector of the Multiverse, so she was able to find where her “friends” had sent the book. The portal had opened into,

a museum?

Strange.

There were some info slips on a desk nearby.

‘The American Museum of Natural History’

Okay, now that Elizabeth knew where she was, it was just a matter of finding the book. She took out a crystal and said a quick divining spell. The crystal flew out until there was no slack on it’s string and started pulling Elizabeth towards her stolen property. It was only a matter of time before she reached her destination.

The artifact restoration room.

Elizabeth tried the door. It was locked. Of course it was. This was a large institution with thousands of valuable artifacts. Unfortunately, no lock could stop Elizabeth. With a flick of her wrist the lock clicked and the door opened. She walked into the large room and eased herself between the tables of artifacts.

No, no, no, AH HA! There it was! Elizabeth gently picked up the book and checked it over for any damage. It was just as she last saw it, well, maybe a bit cleaner.

The historians who were studying the book had made notes. Elizabeth picked them up and read through them quickly. They had made very little progress determining anything besides how old the book was. The historian’s note also said that they had received the book three days ago. Ah. That meant that this dimension’s time flow was faster than hers. It also seemed that this world was a few years behind. While it was 2016 in her world, it was 2006 here. No matter. It wasn’t like she’d be spending a lot of time here.

Now that she had her book, it was time to go. Elizabeth destroyed the notes and placed a memory fog charm on the room, so that who ever knew about the book would walk into the room and forget all about it. As she started to walk out, she felt bad. All these people were working hard to decode this mysterious artifact, and now it was gone and they wouldn’t even remember. Elizabeth couldn’t just leave without leaving something in return. After all, they took excellent care of her book for her. So she wandered about, looking at various artifacts and items, until she came to a large stone slab. It just happened to be written in a dialect of Inca that she understood. So, she wrote a key and aged the paper so it looked like something someone had missed. Now they’d have no trouble decoding this dialect again!

Feeling quite proud of herself, Elizabeth started making her way to the exit. However, she had neglected to watch the time. She had entered the museum just after it had closed, and that had been an hour ago. Suddenly, Elizabeth felt a great surge of magic, and then all the exhibits came to life. She was stunned. She’d seen animation magic before, but never on this scale. It was remarkable.

There was just one problem. None of the exhibits had ever seen anything like her either. There was no way of knowing how they’d react. It seemed that Elizabeth’s only option was to take the back way. So she placed her book into her bag and started carefully making her way out. She was doing fine until she heard hooves. She looked around and saw that there were stairs leading to the second floor, just to her right. Elizabeth had no choice, she had to go up those stairs.

With a powerful jump she cleared the railing and trotted briskly into the adjacent wing. (It should be noted that Drega’s idea of going up stairs, is jumping high enough to sail over the railing, avoiding the stairs altogether)

She continued on and found herself in the Egyptian wing of the museum. It would’ve been a pleasant surprise, if not for the sudden cacophonous wailing that filled the air. Elizabeth didn’t hesitate and bolted toward the source of the sound. Her somewhat shocking appearance aside, someone was in danger and she was going to save them damn it!

She raced along the corridors, the wailing getting louder by the minute, until she came to the source. In the wall was a huge hall, leading to a temple-like area. And at the end of this temple was a sarcophagus.

The wailing was coming from inside it.

Elizabeth froze. She’d seen living mummies before. They weren’t pretty. Or nice. OR ANYTHING REMOTELY GOOD. AT ALL. The sarcophagus was locked, she could see that from where she was standing. That would lead one to believe that whatever was in there, was supposed to stay in there. She started to back away, but the wailing became worse. Who or whatever was in that box was supremely unhappy with their current situation, and Elizabeth couldn’t just leave them there.

The shear amount of desperation in their voice.......

It was heartbreaking.

There was no doubt in her mind anymore that this was no unstoppable force of evil. It was a person, trapped, and alone,and they needed her help.

Elizabeth charged forward, ignoring the giant Anubis statues, and lifted the stone slab off of the sarcophagus as if it weighed nothing. Then she extended her index finger’s claw and cut the locks and pins off. As soon as the last pin was released, the lid of the sarcophagus flew into the wall and slid to the ground with a thud.

A figure wrapped in linen sat up slowly and looked around. Elizabeth jumped back, into the shadows, and waited. She could now tell that the figure was male, based on his smell and his body shape.

The man stood up and stepped out of the box. He started unwrapping the bandages covering his face. When he finished, he coughed and a large cloud of dust was expelled from his mouth. Just how long had he been in there? He looked directly at her and said,

“You would not believe how stuffy it is in there”.

Elizabeth blinked and then snorted a bit.

This caught the attention of the man. He smiled brightly. All he could see of his rescuer was a pair of glowing silver eyes with vertical pupils. He was curious.

“I have been trapped in there for quite a while. I would very much like to see who rescued me.”

Elizabeth shifted uncomfortably.

“I, uh. I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

The man tilted his head and inquired, “Why not?”

Elizabeth sighed and explained, “Most people that haven’t met me before, have a, um, strong reaction to me”.

“What kind of reaction?”

“Screaming, gasps of shock and dismay, fainting. That sort of thing”.

He looked surprised for a moment before smiling gently and saying,

“Perhaps you have not met the right people yet. I can promise you with absolute certainty that I will not scream, faint, or gasp in dismay at your appearance. It’s the least I can do”.

He seemed so sincere. And he did have a right to see who let him out......

“Okay”, Elizabeth conceded.

She carefully walked into the light and stopped in front of him. She braced herself for the gasp or the screaming, but it never came. He smiled. A massive grin in fact.

“There. That wasn’t so hard now was it?”, he asked.

“You....You’re not afraid of me? How?”

“You haven’t given me any reason to be afraid of you. So I don’t see any reason why should be”.

Elizabeth was stunned. Everyone she’d ever met had been at least a little scared the first time they saw her, but not him.

“Ah, how rude of me. I haven’t introduced myself. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers. Might I have the honor of knowing the name of my rescuer?”

Elizabeth smiled a bit and replied with an equal amount of gusto,

“I am the mighty Drega! Protector of the weak, and defender of the innocent. But that’s just the name I use when I’m doin my job. My real name is Elizabeth.”

Ahkmenrah bowed lowly and replied,

“Mighty Drega, protector of the weak, defender of the innocent, I thank you for freeing me! In return for your valor, I offer you anything you desire”, He gestured around the room, “Choose, and it shall be yours”.

She looked around and answered,

“It’s all beautiful, but there’s nothing here that I want.”

Ahkmenrah’s smile faltered and he insisted, “Surely there is something you want. I must reward you. I have been trapped in that, that, prison, for so long. I thought I’d never escape. Please, isn’t there anything, anything at all, that you would like?”

Elizabeth thought for a moment. She thought about her so called friends and how she got to this place. It occurred to her that she did want something, though, she didn’t know if Ahkmenrah would be willing to part with it.

“I want you to be my friend. I’ve never met someone who didn’t flinch at the sight of me, or who didn’t look ready to run away from me. I understand if you don’t want to.”

Ahkmenrah looked up at Elizabeth and said

“That is something you need not ask for. I was your friend the moment you freed me Drega.”

She beamed, “Thank you, Ahkmenrah. Oh, and you can call me Elizabeth. I told you that’s what my friends call me.”

“You are most welcome. And you may call me Ahk or Ahkmen. That’s what my friends and family used to call me.”

“Ahk it is then! Now, would you mind telling me more about all of this?”, Elizabeth gestured to the museum.

“Absolutely, my friend.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It had been four days since Elizabeth had freed Ahkmenrah from his sarcophagus. She had come to visit him everyday after, and he had quickly become her best friend. And she, his.

They had decided early on to keep their respective existence a secret from the other inhabitants, particularly after an incident the day after where the new night guard and Theodore Roosevelt came to Ahk’s tomb. The former president had taunted the pharaoh. Not that he knew that the wailing was simply a voice recording designed to keep people away.

Elizabeth had made herself and Ahk invisible to everyone in the museum, just in case, and after that, she was glad she did. She was appalled by their behavior. Ahk was touched that she was so offended on his behalf, but he assured her that he forgave them. He knew their reasons and he understood, he didn’t like them, but he understood.

Ahk had been astonished at Elizabeth’s skill in magic. The first time she made comfortable chairs appear out if thin air, he couldn’t stop talking about it. He asked her questions endlessly, and asked her to do more. She obliged him, and he was certain he’d never tire of seeing her do such incredible things.

She was happy to do it of course. He was so fascinated by it, how could she refuse? It was nice to be able to be herself completely, magic, fangs, and all.

Now, Elizabeth was returning to the museum, but when she got there, she knew something was wrong. She was a bit late, so she expected Ahk to be thrashing and wanting to be let out, but there was nothing. The whole museum was silent. Elizabeth had thought about opening the sarcophagus, but Ahk had made her promise to never open it during the day.

She understood why. But that still didn’t change the fact that something was wrong! She decided to check the tablet instead, only to find that it wasn’t there. Well that explained it. If the tablet was missing, then naturally, the exhibits would be dormant. Ahk included.

Fortunately, Elizabeth had spent enough time near the tablet that she could feel it’s magic, and from what she could feel, it was still in the building. It must be turned off. Rather than blindly charging to the tablet’s location, she used a special magic ability: farsight. With it, she could see across long distances, but only if she knew exactly what she was looking for.

She followed the signal, and she could see the tablet, and all of the people in the room. There were three old men, the new night guard, and Elizabeth presumed, the night guard’s son. The boy had the tablet, and his father was trying to get him to turn the middle piece. The old men were trash talking the guard.

Oh, now Elizabeth recognized those men. They were the old night guards. The ones who caused Ahk so much pain. Her eyes narrowed, and a low growl escaped her throat. Those men would pay for what they’ve done, but for now the tablet was the first priority.

“Turn the piece. Do it.”, Elizabeth mumbled.

The boy looked scared, but determined. He looked at his dad and then at the tablet. Then he turned the piece.

“Smart boy”, Elizabeth exclaimed.

She turned and picked the stone slab off the box. Ahk sat up and looked around.

“Something’s wrong”, he said.

Elizabeth leaned the slab against the wall and replied, “Ya got that right. The tablet’s been stolen”.

Ahk’s head jerked up, “Stolen?! By whom?”

Elizabeth snarled and replied lowly, “Guess”.

For a moment Ahk’s face was passive, until it clicked in his head.

“My former jailers I presume”.

“Yep.”, suddenly Elizabeth heard people approaching, “Quick! Someone’s coming!”

The two hid and Elizabeth saw the guard’s son run into the tomb. He had the tablet, but not for long. The leader of the old guards grabbed it and pushed him into the tomb. The boy’s father appeared and tried to stop them, but the old geezer with the bad attitude punched him and threw him in the tomb as well. They took the guard’s keys and locked them in.

Ahk looked at Elizabeth and whispered, “What shall we do? Those awful men have my tablet. Ra only knows what they’ll do with it.”

“We need to go after them. It’s the only way.”

Ahk’s eyes widened, “Elizabeth, if you’re seen by anyone.......”

She sighed, “I know. But it’s my job to protect people, and that includes you and this museum.”

“You’re right. But first, we should introduce ourselves to our friends.”

“No. First you should save them from the jackals~”, Elizabeth grinned.

Ahk looked and sure enough, the jackals were about to shish-kebab the guard and his son. Ahk stood and calmly commanded the jackals to back off. The guard and his son turned around.

“Uh, Hi! Thanks for um, doing that.”, the guard said.

Ahk smiled and replied, “No problem. We haven’t been introduced. I am Ahkmenrah, fourth king of the fourth king, ruler of the land of my fathers.”

Elizabeth (who had turned herself invisible) rolled her eyes. He really did introduce himself like that to everyone. When the guard, Larry was his name, tried to do an equally impressive intro of himself, Elizabeth was having an extremely difficult time trying not to laugh.

“Anyways, how did you, um, get out? Last I checked you were still”, Larry pointed to the sarcophagus, “In there.”

“Actually, I’ve been released since you started working here”.

“What?!”, Larry exclaimed, “Who let you out?!”

Ahk smirked and looked at Elizabeth.

“A box of junior mints says they gasp”.

Elizabeth grinned and said, “I say Larry will, but Nicky won’t”.

“You’re on”.

Elizabeth lowered the invisiblity spell. Larry made an inhuman squeak in the back of his throat, but Nicky didn’t gasp at all.

“Cool!”, Nicky yelled, looking up at the winged creature.

After a few more introductions, and breaking the door (”You could have just unlocked it” “I know, but it was more fun to destroy it~”), the strange group was on their way!

They found the museum in utter chaos.

The Huns appeared and as it happened, Ahk could speak Hun. Cool. Then they released Sacagawea, who Teddy Roosevelt was in love with. Neat. Then to the miniatures who were fighting, like the rest of the museum. Larry tried to get everyone’s attention, but it was no use.

Elizabeth, being tired of the situation, roared at them. Some people fell down. The civil war dudes were shivering.

“Serves you right!”, Elizabeth yelled, “This man is trying to help you and all you wanna do is fight, fight, FIGHT! If we don’t get the tablet back NOW, everyone in this museum will CEASE TO EXIST. So listen up.” Elizabeth looked at Larry, “Go ahead.”

Larry explained the plan, and everyone got to work. Using farsight, Elizabeth could estimate the general area that each old man was in. Soon, two were down.

One to go.

They went outside, and Sac tracked Cecil. (They found out all their names from Larry) Suddenly, Elizabeth heard hoofbeats, lots of them.

“Cecil has the stagecoach!”, Elizabeth roared.

But by the time anyone heard her, Teddy was half the man he used to be. He had saved Sac at least. But now what to do? They still had to catch up with Cecil and the stagecoach. Larry had a plan, it was crazy, but it just might work.

Larry borrowed Teddy’s horse Texas, and Nicky and Ahk rode Rexy, the living T-Rex skeleton. (Elizabeth had nearly lost her mind when she saw him. “HE’S SO ADORABLE. AHK LOOK AT HIS WITTLE FACE~” “Little?!)

Elizabeth, meanwhile, was flying after them. Her wings were too large for her to fly right beside the stage, but Elizabeth could divebomb Cecil if all was lost. Yes, Elizabeth was crazy enough to dive into the stagecoach to stop it.

Thankfully, that wasn’t necessary. The tablet was returned to it’s rightful owner, and all the exhibits were on their way back to the museum. When they got back Ahk helped Larry count all the exhibits and make sure they were all there. Eventually, he took a break and pulled Elizabeth aside.

“Thank you, for helping us get the tablet back.”

“It was my pleasure.”

Ahk frowned, “I suppose this is it then. Now that everyone knows about you, you’ll erase their memories and leave”.

Elizabeth was shocked.

“Where on Earth did you get that idea? I’m not going anywhere.”

“You mean, You’ll stay? Even though the whole museum knows about you?”

Elizabeth smirked, “Someone’s gotta keep you outta trouble”.

Ahk couldn’t help himself, he rushed forward and gave Elizabeth the biggest hug he could. Surprised by the sudden hug, Elizabeth made a very odd noise, and proceeded hug Ahk back and blush madly.

Ahk thought that the noise was adorable, that she was adorable. He didn’t want to let go of her. She didn’t wanna let go either, but they had too. As they made their way back inside to clean up the museum, Ahk knew one thing for certain: he was madly in love with his best friend. Now if only she would feel the same way. No. She was a being of extraordinary power and grace, a goddess, and he was a dead man with nothing to offer, or so he thought.

Elizabeth was also experiencing a moment of clarity, but she was not happy about it. She didn’t want to be in love damn it! She’d had her heart broken so many times.....

No. Ahk wasn’t like them. He was better than that, but he’d never feel that way about her.

Or would he?

The End

For now~

#oooh a cliffhanger #drega writes #Drega x Ahkmenrah #Medjay #self insert #f/o

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zarinthelwrites · 8 years ago

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Blooming from the Mud Pt. 8 (Bleach/DGM)

“You don’t even know where you’re going,” Kuchiki says, moving in front of him.

“You’re going to walk into a wall with your nose that high in the air,” mocks Kanda.

“You’ll trip over your own shadow with your feet so twisted,” Kuchiki snaps.

“You’re about to trip over the dog--” Kanda warns, just a second too late as Lizard darts out in front of the man and he goes sprawling.

Kuchiki scrambles to his feet, dusting off his clothes even though the entire Seireitei is cleaner than a hospital room floor.

“Why are the dogs even coming,” says Kuchiki, eyeing Lizard darkly.

“Why don’t you look where you’re going,” says Kanda, reaching into his new, convenient ration pack and giving the dog a treat. Fishbone whines a bit at not also receiving one, then turns to eye Kuchiki with a hopeful expression.

“No,” says Kuchiki, firmly. Then he wilts a bit as Fishbone’s eyes get wider and his tail starts to wag.

By the time that they arrive at the West Gate, Fishbone is happily munching on his own share of the rations. Kanda is expecting to have to summon whoever is in charge of lifting this particular waste of a door, but either Kuchiki is more influential than Kanda realized or no one cares who leaves the Seireitei, only who enters.

The end result is Kuchiki leading Kanda and the two happy dogs through a smaller, regular sized door cut to open from the inside. Kanda casually memorizes its position. This trip has paid off already.

The gifts just keep on coming as Kuchiki’s pace quickens the minute he enters the Rukongai. In addition, he hangs his head just a tiny bit forward, so his hair drifts forward in a shamefully bland attempt to hide his face.

“Avoiding someone, Kuchiki?” Kanda asks, lips twitching.

“You don’t know anything,” Kuchiki murmurs from the corner of his mouth. He draws himself stiffly up, pretending as if his previous attempt to hide his stature had never happened. “The Five Noble Clans of the Seireitei were each given the option of living within or outside of the Walled City, but only the Kuchiki and the Shihouin were courageous enough to leave behind their ancestral lands. The Shiba Clan chose to remain living in their territory, the first 3 Districts of the West Rukongai.

“Three Districts for one clan?” Kanda asks, amused but also nostalgic for the Chang Clan that had raised him in that place hidden from the sky.

“The Shiba Clan has a certain....specialty that makes many speculate that they would not...ah... do well in an enclosed space.”

“Claustrophobia?” Kanda suggests.

“Claustro--” Kuchiki blinks at him. “No, Kanda. Explosions.” An uncomfortable looks flickers over his face. “I dislike calling you so familiarly,” he added. “Give me your family name.”

“That is my family name,” Kanda snaps. His only family did not share the name, though. The scientists had not let him use Karma as his last name.

“Ah. Then what is your first name, then?”

“Fuck you,” says Kanda. “And fuck--”

“Hey look! I can’t believe it! Sojun Kuchiki, in the flesh,” a voice cries from the nearby town that they are having this argument directly in front of.

“Kukaku Shiba,” says Kuchiki, eyes widening in horror while his tone remains mild and polite.

The lady in question is wearing a red and white sleeveless robe that is very deeply cut down the front. The tattoo on her left arm only serves to make her wooden right arm more obvious. Both of her hands rest on her hips and she is grinning in a way that gives Kanda a sudden, visceral overlay of Allen in the midst of a prank gone horribly right.

“Dropped by unannounced for a personal visit, Sojun?” She winks at him. “You know that no matter how pretty you are, I’m truly only into the ladies~”

“Kukaku, your house moves,” Kuchiki points out almost plaintively. “It’s impossible for me to have just happened to arrive.”

“And yet you did!” Kukaku points out gleefully. “There I was, blowing up a pond, minding my own business,”

This lady definitely reminds Kanda far too much of his fellow Exorcists.

“When I spot you-- you, the hikikomori--”

“I am not a hikikomori--”

“And this brat--”

“I am not a brat--”

“Arguing, right in front of my own front door! The shock I felt! The wonder! The pure, concentrated joy so great that I could bottle it all up and set it on fire!”

“Please do not.”

“Aww, Sojun, I know you are just sad that I’m not available, but there’s nothing I can do about your habit of bottling up your feelings til they explode. My methods are much more fun. Anyway, what’s brought you away from your true beloved, your paperwork?”

“More paperwork,” says Kanda. He is going to need to just grap Kuchiki and run if this goes on for much longer. Getting sucked into the pace of someone like Kukaku Shiba is something that needs to be done quickly, or you end up binding yourself to them for all eternity or stupid shit like that.

Kukaku cracks up, sides shaking with laughter.

“That’s perfect,” she pants. “That’s the greatest thing I’ve ever heard. Though I wasn’t aware the 6th Division recruited brats.”

Kanda crosses his arms over his chest.

“I’m 11th Division,” he says, then grabs Kuchiki by the arm and bolts, dogs streaking behind him. Kuchiki may be chained by the requirements of manners, but Kanda sure as hell isn’t.

He doesn’t let up on the pace until they enter the 4th District.

“When it comes to people like that, you need to know when to cut your loses,” Kanda informs Kuchiki, willfully ignoring the fact that he has never once followed this advice in his long, terrible life.

“I was engaged to marry her when we were children,” says Kuchiki, sounding dazed. “Then her brother became the Shiba Clan head, and he broke it off.”

“Good for him,” says Kanda, not sure why he has to listen to this.

“She wants me to bring Byakuya out here so he can meet her.”

Kanda has no clue who this is. Who any of these people are, really.

“I’ve been holding out, but with the Shihouin Clan Lady exiled, he’s just been moping around the grounds, looking miserable. I don’t understand what was fun about playing tag with the Flash Goddess, but my son is a genius....”

Despite the fact that living with Allen had forced Kanda to grow inured to people whose explanations made less sense the more they explained, he had hoped he’d been done with that part of his life.

“He’ll be fine,” says Kanda, dismissing the entire explanation to the part of his brain he reserves for things only Lavi would care about.

“Yes,” Kuchiki agrees, returning to his more usual blank face mask. He stares forward towards the forest and sighs. “50 more Districts to go, then.”

Fishbone barks in agreement.

“We could always just fight more Hollows on the way,” Kanda suggests.

“Why would that help us go faster?” Kuchiki asks.

“We wouldn’t be bored,” says Kanda. “And Fishbone and Lizard need exercise.”

“Fishbone and Lizard,” Kuchiki repeats. “The dogs. Those dogs.” He points at them.

“Yes, those dogs.”

“Their names. Ah...seem a bit unfitting.”

“That’s what they looked like,” says Kanda.

“What they looked like.”

“Yes.”

“But now they look like dogs.”

“Yes.”

“And they always were dogs.”

“Yes.”

“I take back what I first said to you,” says Kuchiki abruptly.

Kanda can’t remember what Kuchiki first said to him, and can’t imagine it was that important.

“What?” He asks anyway.

“You do talk like a member of the 11th Division.”

Chapter Four: The Second Generation

As it turns out, Sojun Kuchiki could use shunpo. He couldn’t maintain it long enough to actually cut their travel time, but he could and did use it to avoid getting splashed the first time Fishbone and Lizard took their bath in the nearby river.

“Tch,” says Kanda. He’d known how far away to stand, but Kuchiki had been close enough that Kanda had hoped he’d fall in and get soaked.

“I do have a younger sister,” says Sojun dryly.

Every time Sojun bringings up something new about his family Kanda wants to take another step farther away. The only big family he’s ever dealt with were the Noahs. So far, Sojun has a father, a sister, and a son? While looking about 22. Though Kanda would be the first person to tell you that what age you look like in Soul Society doesn’t mean shit.

“People age in Soul Society, right?” Kanda checks.

This does the double duty of getting an answer and distracting Sojun from dodging away from the muddy dogs as Fishbone promptly dives in between his legs. This wouldn’t have caused Sojun to fall except that he was so worried about hurting the dogs that he’d rather fall over than chance kicking them. It never gets old.

“Yes, people age,” Sojun says, giving up on getting back up from the muddy ground and instead petting Lizard and trying to prevent the dog from licking his zanpaktou. “You’re the type that retains memories from when you were in the Living World, correct?”

Kanda nods.

“Souls like you tend to age based on two variables. Memory milestones, and reiatsu. Reiatsu above a certain level can slow the aging process to an unbelievable degree-- some of the Captains are over 1,000 years old, easily. And then there’s...ah..the milestones. I’ve only seen this happen once, mind you. When someone I knew was reunited with their wife, who had survived them by... almost 30 years, I think it was. It seemed like they had aged years over night. They told me later...it was as if the world was only truly real for them once she was there with them.”

The food here tastes like dust.

“There’s a long way to go,” murmurs Kanda. When he was truly nine he had dreamed of being so alone, so free. How fitting, that he would know of that freedom only to miss his clanking chains.

“You’re so urgent, Kanda,” Sojun says gently, lightly jumping back to his feet. “We’re halfway there already!”

Kanda blinks away the lotus flowers hiding behind his eyes.

#bleach #dgm #please tell me about your reactions i want to know

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mysteriesofmilo · 4 years ago

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Quotes tournament, round 2!!

It's time to finally move on from the opening round of our MML quotes tournament! Now because I did not separate the seasons, this will end up being the biggest round we have ever had in any of our tournaments. And because I will be away from home for the next few days, I will plan to end it on Sunday the 28th. Now, here are the results of round 1:

Balloon full of stinky water beat Who I'm not yet 13-6 (68.4%)

Pizza delivery guy trap beat Babies are evil? 16-4 (80%)

Absurdly fast koala beat Head has tensile strength 11-9 (55%)

"We can repair it" alarms beat Shark cage 12-8 (60%)

Don't listen to me barely edged out British pizza 10-9 (52.4%)

Impulsive mistakes of his youth beat Never been in trouble 14-5 (73.7%)

In one previously tied matchup, Desertland beat Soy dogs 11-8 (57.9%)

Those wooden stakes will kill him beat Sounded hinty 15-4 (78.9%)

Dr. Not Sorry beat Quadruped thespians 12-7 (63.2%)

In the other previously tied matchup, Orange peeling time barely beat Easy to Get Lost and Die in Woods 10-9 (52.4%)

Now on to the next round!

Loss can lead to new adventures vs Balloon full of stinky water

Haven't heard you complaining vs Hamilton H. County

I had to take the bus vs Bird-a-surus

Brakes are broke vs Disaster Magazine

Unnecessarily disintegrated vs Exfused and concited

World War V vs Harpoons and feeding frenzies

Why seek danger? vs Squirrels and tuna

Doof’s first robot vs Ends with a sentient blob

Anxious about shopping carts vs Pizza delivery guy trap

I smell a Murphy vs Worst punishment

Make some noise vs More ridiculous than his life

Plays by his own rules vs Sign has sharp edges

Sure that would not work vs Absurdly fast koala

Mice could fly vs My soap is talking

Contemplating my tragic existence vs Confusing stuff cabbage tree

Vorpel wrap vs Win this cooking show

Actually don't sit back vs "We can repair it" alarms

Right amount of whelmed vs Get out of the van

Buffalo with marshmallow vs I still maintain he's not

Not a wave of fire vs Bug on your face

Hanging off the edge of a cliff vs Milo the Great

Monkey on his shoulder vs Bungle this assignment

Get used to it vs Fake sleep magazines

You are worthless vs Not this time

Vintage T-shirts vs Don't listen to me

Time capsule vs Suit on an Undergrounder

So scared I'm not scared vs BYO toilet paper

Photos of all the parks vs Great Caesar's ghost

Ride dirt bikes vs Throw this round thing

Loser shovels the winner's driveway vs If you survive today

Where is the exit vs Run toward the danger

Take our picture or eradicate us vs Revenge mode

Toddler Talent Show vs Impulsive mistakes of his youth

Shield your head vs We're all gonna try

Blindly followed her instructions vs How many hamsters

Judgmental man vs Ate a Congressman

I'm hazardous vs Just a prototype

Head caught in a helicopter vs Picking up Milo

Only on a TV show vs Royalty, part monkey or both

Dining on other worlds vs 3/4 marmoset

Hi plane vs Desertland

Not worse than trash vs Murray the Middleman

Inside out? vs Uneven playing field

Found Milo's backpack vs Cohesive color scheme

Don't appreciate your bones vs Those wooden stakes will kill him

You look delicious too vs Halfway across the galaxy

Actual superintendent vs Garbled screams

That goes for anyone in this building vs Eggs for breakfast

Fries with cheese vs Dr. Not Sorry

Flaming pig vs Stranded people

Your milk carton vs At increasing velocity

They took a bus vs A single tent shaped tarp

Dumping toxic waste vs Middle School Safety Award

Claustro-avoident vs Some are still standing

Fowl beast vs Ice cream combination

Disco dancers in Danville vs Snow Flyer 1.5

Breakfast inside of a lunch vs Orange peeling time

Furlong per jiffy vs Required to notify us

The really big ball vs A to B

Unless someone accidentally vs Stuff just explodes

Commemorative plaque vs On his sled of doom

Cyborg grizzly: destroy man vs Country vs western music

Some say he doesn't exist vs What I sorta can see

And there you have it! Sorry the last round has been down since last night; I was in the middle of updating the bracket when I fell asleep. Anyway, vote here: https://forms.gle/JXgXzP9D2fwakJ4i7

View the updated bracket here: https://challonge.com/fbifxfp2

View the full list of quotes here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1ZW4PSIUnBEw-J89UTNBYtUu1qiFtPkQW1Q1CcaetVho/edit?usp=sharing

And view the wiki here:

https://milomurphyslaw.fandom.com/wiki/Milo_Murphy%27s_Law_Wiki

Happy Thanksgiving! Time for faith🙏, family👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, friends👥, food🦃, and football🏈, in that order!

#milo murphy's law #mml #quotes tournament #biggest round ever #happy thanksgiving

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welcome-to-rayman · 5 years ago

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There's a difference. It's suble, but there's a difference.

Season 1, Episode 1, Segment B

The Undergrounders

Zack is not claustrophobic.

Zack is claustro-avoidant.

#mml #milo murphy #zack underwood #melissa chase #the undergrounders #fears #claustro-avoidant #milo murphy's law

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themurphyzone · 6 years ago

Text

Absolutely Disastrous Ch 13

Ch 13: Get Your Flames on, Zack and Lydia! Treecko’s Growing Potential and Tepig’s Dazzling Debut!

Bradley accepted the free PokéNav in exchange for agreeing to not leave a bad review of Mahlson Corp on the Internet, though he refused to follow Milo into the CEO’s office and stormed off to train for his next gym battle. Milo felt pretty bad when he watched Bradley try to press an elevator button, but misjudged the length of his new Breloom arm and wound up poking at empty air.

“Don’t worry,” Amanda said, settling Minccino on top of Milo’s head to provide him with fluffy reassurance. Minccino stretched out, trying to flatten Milo’s cowlick with her tongue. “If he’d been fully turned into a Breloom, every trainer in the city would be bombarding him with Poké Balls.”

“I’ll make sure the scientist is written up and disciplined for this incident,” Orville asserted, gesturing for everyone to take a seat on the plush, luxurious couches in his office. Diogee laid down on the deep red carpet, nuzzling into its soft fuzz, Milo tried to sit too, but the couch cushion swallowed him until only his legs poked out and he had to be extracted by Melissa and Zack. He settled for the floor instead.

“I assume the scientist isn’t why you brought us here,” Melissa said. “What’s so top secret that you couldn’t tell us in the Pokémon Center?”

Orville set the briefcase on top of his desk, removing the documents and locking them into a vault behind a painting of a Relicanth. “I’d like to know about the people who were interested in my company’s research. Did the thieves talk about what they planned to do with this data?”

“Something about creating more land and being heroes,” Zack said. “Sorry, I was a little more focused on the walls suffocating us than anything that old man said.”

“Walls can’t suffocate you,” Melissa scoffed.

“They can if they sense you’re claustro-avoidant,” Zack retorted.

Lydia sat between Melissa and Zack, forcing them to the ends of the couch and ending their argument. “The businessman mentioned something about magma.”

“Cavendish and Ignacio—that’s who stole your documents—belong to an organization called Team Magma,” Milo added. “You have data on ancient geographical formations and they want to reawaken a Pokémon named Groudon.”

“Wait a minute,” Zack said, holding his hand up in a time-out. “Didn’t Dakota say something about reawakening something called a Cry-ogre?”

Melissa pounded the armrest at the mention of Dakota’s name. “It’s not Cry-ogre. It’s KY-owes me seven thousand Pokédollars-gre!”

“He dined and dashed on us. Though he mentioned he was the boss of Team Aqua, whatever that is,” Milo explained for Lydia, Amanda, and Orville’s benefit. “But his sandwich and smoothie cost a thousand.”

“The other six thousand includes taxes, interest, and emotional distress,” Melissa said. “And I’m gonna keep tacking on other charges ‘til he coughs up the money.”

Orville winced. “You planning to go into business?”

“Nope. My career goals are strictly journalist, author, and queen of the universe,’ Melissa replied.

“Er, good career goals. I think,” Orville said, unsure of how to respond to the last one. To be fair, most people didn’t think Melissa could be queen of the universe. Not that it was a hard title to obtain if she ever succeeded in stuffing Arceus into a Poké Ball. “Now, I want to give each of you a PokéNav. Along with helping you navigate the different biomes of Hoenn, it has the Mahlson Corp number and my personal cell registered in there too. I understand that all of you carry cell phones, but it wouldn’t hurt to carry a spare. Besides, I’d like to keep in touch due to the threat of the ancient Pokémon awakening if either Team Magma or Aqua succeed. If you find any more information, please contact us. In the meantime, I will place more funding into the areas of study these documents cover.”

“Hypothetically, what’s your policy in case the PokéNav catches on fire or is somehow destroyed under weird circumstances?” Zack asked as Milo reached for his device.

The PokéNav caught on fire, and Diogee pulled Milo back before he could touch it. Melissa stamped it out quickly, but the PokéNav was charred and blackened beyond repair.

“We replace it,” Orville said, pulling out another PokéNav from his desk.

The girls made sure everyone’s numbers were placed into the PokéNavs, then sealed them in fireproof bags before storing them into their backpacks.

“I also have two favors to ask,” Orville said. “First, I have a letter to my son, Orton. He’s probably in Granite Cave again. It’s just outside Dewford.”

He slid a sealed envelope across his desk.

“Lydia and I are skipping Dewford actually,” Amanda said. “We’re heading to Slateport after her contest in Rustboro.”

“In that case, would you two mind delivering these parts to a friend of mine?” Orville asked. He handed a small toolkit full of gears and rods to Amanda. “His name is Captain Bob Webber, and you can find him in the Shipyard. Bob is currently in the process of building a submarine for deep-sea exploration. There’s much we don’t know about the world, the ocean especially, but perhaps he’ll be able to shed some light on these mysteries upon the submarine’s completion.”

Melissa carefully folded the letter into a travel book. “We’ll deliver the letter,” she promised.

Orville nodded in approval. “Thank you. Orton’s researched many old myths and legends, partly for interest and partly for the storylines on Dr. Magnezone. I believe his knowledge will be useful. That’s all I have on my end. Feel free to call if you have any questions.”

“You don’t mind if we hold off for a few days, right?” Milo asked. “Zack and Lydia are competing in the Rustboro Contest soon.”

“Tepig and I have a totally rocking routine!” Lydia boasted. “We’re gonna get that Ribbon for sure!”

“I should probably figure something out with Treecko,” Zack admitted.

Melissa yawned. “But not tonight. It’s been a long day, and I just want a nice, comfy bed.”

As they gathered their belongings, Diogee sprang up and growled at a bookshelf.

“What’s he growling at?” Lydia asked.

Milo shrugged. He tried to hold Diogee back with his collar, but he was slowly dragged forward instead. “I’m not sure. Maybe he just doesn’t like dust bunnies.”

Once Diogee was close enough, he pounced on the bookshelf. Milo let go of the collar just in time, avoiding a head collision with the wooden frame. The books trembled, and Milo reached out to catch an expensive figurine of a Shiftry.

Something small and pink fled from the gap between the wall and bookshelf, and Diogee shot after it. A piercing wail erupted, and everybody shrieked and covered their ears. Zack and Melissa fought over a pillow to further muffle the noise while the Whismur continued its tearful rampage. Diogee was now more concerned with keeping his paws pressed to his head rather than chasing Whismur though.

In an attempt to escape the room, the Whismur crashed into Zack, and Melissa triumphantly claimed the pillow. A spare Pok é was knocked loose from Zack’s belt and hit Whismur on the head.

A red light engulfed Whismur and sucked it into the container, stopping the piercing wail to everybody’s relief. The Poké Ball fell to the floor, shaking three times before emitting a small popping noise.

Orville was the first to recover. He patted Zack on the shoulder. “Seems Whismur decided to choose you! Treat it well, okay?”

Zack could only stare at the Poké Ball in disbelief. “That was kinda anticlimactic for a capture.”

“Don’t worry, guys. I have noise-canceling earmuffs in my backpack,” Milo said. “As my dad always says, ‘Always protect yourself from Dr. Magnezone fans crying over the Season 4 finale and freak biplane accidents.’“

The next day, Milo focused on taking preventative measures against interruptions to Zack and Lydia’s training. After yesterday’s chance meetings of crime syndicate bosses, strange battles filled with moves he was pretty sure weren’t legal, and befriending the Mahlson Corp CEO, he was glad for a quiet day. Well, unless one counted the panic that ensued when Milo was carried across town by an entire line of remote-controlled shopping carts, but there was no harm done beyond accidentally busting Rustboro Elliot’s kneecap.

Minccino was more interested in helping Amanda make PokéBlocks than in battling, just as Marshtomp was more interested in eating Amanda’s PokéBlocks rather than making them.

Melissa worked on Torchic and Poochyena’s teamwork, praising them whenever their combined attacks landed a hit on the practice dummy. She recorded Torchic unleashing a spiral of flames that surrounded the practice dummy in a mesmerizing fiery column.

“First time I’ve seen more than a few embers!” Melissa exclaimed as she gave Torchic and Poochyena several PokéBlocks for a job well done. “Fire Spin’s definitely gonna be a huge help.”

“That’s great, but Flame Charge is stronger,” Lydia declared.

Tepig agreed wholeheartedly.

“Wanna put that to the test?” Melissa asked.

“You’re on!”

The girls and their Fire-starters rushed onto the practice field, trading fire attacks as they jokingly taunted each other. Torchic’s brute force and Tepig’s carefully executed attacks proved to be an equal match.

Just in case, Milo set a few fire extinguishers within reach.

Meanwhile, Zack was trying to perfect an appeal with Treecko and Whismur. Treecko used a rapid-fire Bullet Seed while Whismur countered with Echoed Voice, destroying each seed with its cry. Then Treecko switched to Mega Drain, drawing energy from the remaining seeds. Green sparkles showered the room.

Milo could barely tell that Whismur was caught less than a day ago.

Since his friends were preoccupied with training, Milo decided to call his folks on the Pokémon Center videophone. He hadn’t really gotten the chance to chat with them since leaving Murphy Ranch.

“Diogee, would you mind getting Marshtomp?” Milo asked as he logged into the system. “He’s probably trying to swipe Amanda’s PokéBlocks again.”

Diogee trotted off.

The phone was only halfway through the first ring before someone on the other side picked up.

“Milo! About time you called!” Sara grinned, her screen flickering to life.

Milo smiled. “Sorry, it’s been hectic. I have a badge now!”

He proudly displayed his Stone Badge to Sara, who shrieked at the sight of it. “Oh my gosh, you already have a badge! You’re like a mini Pokémon Master already. Wait right there, let me get Mom and Dad! They gotta see this too!”

While he waited for Sara to come back, he polished his Stone Badge on a clean cloth. He was about to hold the badge against the light to check for smudges when a Linoone calmly strolled up to him and snatched it from his hand.

Hope you don’t get tired of this same old tune,

He’s Recurring Linoone!

“Get back here!” Milo shouted. “And how did you even hire backup singers?”

Milo dove for the badge, but Recurring Linoone jumped onto his head and scurried to the exit. Before the thieving Normal-type could reach it, he slammed into a wall of white fur and dropped the Stone Badge. While Diogee carefully returned the badge to its case, Marshtomp tossed Recurring Linoone out of the Pokémon Center.

“Thanks,” Milo said gratefully as he sat down at the videophone. Sara had returned with Brigitte and Martin during the commotion, and they waved excitedly as they fired question after question at him.

“Yes, no, Melissa has a Torchic, I’ve met lots of interesting people already, yes, and I haven’t broken my clavicle yet,” Milo said. He tilted the camera down to Diogee and Marshtomp. “Say hi, you two!”

His Pokémon happily greeted his family.

“You’re doing a great job with them,” Martin said. “And Diogee’s doing a great job at being your partner.”

Diogee stood up a little straighter.

“We’re also traveling with Zack. He’s Professor Underwood’s son,” Milo said, recounting how they rescued Professor Underwood from the swarm of Magikarp and gained their starters in the process. “And he caught a Whismur in the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office! He’s training it right now, but he’s not using it in the contest. He’s sticking with Treecko. Oh, and Melissa caught a Poochyena in Petalburg!”

Sara’s jaw dropped. “Back up, Milo! You actually went to the Mahlson Corp CEO’s office?”

Milo nodded. “Uh, yeah. I guess it sounds weird without the context, but his name’s Orville and he’s really nice. We’re delivering a letter to Orton as a favor actually and-”

“YOU’RE GOING TO MEET ORTON? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?” Sara shrieked, her smile stretching so much that Milo was afraid her face was going to stay that way. “CAN YOU GET ME AN AUTOGRAPH? CAN YOU DOCUMENT THE EXACT SPOT WHERE HE’LL STAND SO WE CAN CREATE A NATIONAL MONUMENT TO DR. MAGNEZONE IN THAT AREA?”

Sara’s Absol, Nyx, got annoyed and carted her off while she begged for Dr. Magnezone’s autograph.

“The Absol pups are doing well,” Brigitte said. “We’re still trying out shampoo brands on Rowdy to tame his fur though. No success yet.”

“Razor and Zorro keep challenging each other,” Martin added. “Nobody wants to judge whose horn is longer, so they have a tendency to decimate a few trees since they have to decide for themselves.”

Milo giggled as his parents gave him updates on the Absol and the entire Murphy family. His cousin Reggie was now banned from Kalos due to the Mona Florges incident, Nate had a sprained ankle from stepping on a Drilbur and still denied having EHML even though the examination table collapsed with him sitting on it, and Uncle Joey had crashed into a set belonging to Pokéstar Studios and was being approached for a major role in a new movie.

“Lucario Man vs Brycen Man: Dusk of Revenge? Well, good for Uncle Joey!” Milo said, though he wasn’t sure what that movie would mean for Brycen Man’s established canon.

“And be careful, okay?” Brigitte said. “There’s been some weird activity around the mountain. Some strange people in red hoodies keep talking about meteorites and rocks.”

“I’ll see if Richard thinks it’s worth investigating,” Martin promised. “Sometimes they come onto the property, but they don’t seem interested in stealing the Absol. They just take soil samples and leave.”

“Not to mention the pirate dress-up party,” Brigitte said. “Though they don’t seem to do much except insult people in hoodies.”

“Oh, we had a few run-ins already,” Milo admitted. “It was how I met Orville. He’s the CEO of Mahlson Corp, by the way. The people in red hoodies are called Team Magma, and they went after Mahlson Corp’s research. We stopped them in Rusturf Tunnel. And the boss of Team Aqua owes Melissa seven thousand Pokédollars.”

Martin and Brigitte fell silent as they processed this information.

Milo decided to tell them about Bradley, Lydia, and Amanda instead.

Though the Rustboro Contest wouldn’t start for another hour, the registration line was open and coordinators could use the extra time to prepare. Zack had been relieved when he discovered that Hoenn didn’t place a huge emphasis on appearances like Sinnoh, because he didn’t have a formal outfit to change into. Milo didn’t mind lending the tuxedo he packed for emergency formal occasions to Zack, but it was probably wrinkled from being crammed into his backpack.

Zack and Lydia presented their Contest Passes to the attendant, who waved them into a room for participants only.

Whismur sat in Milo’s lap since he wouldn’t be performing, shying away when any stranger passed them. Diogee stood guard on the side, watching for signs of a rail breaking or a seat collapsing in addition to making sure nobody got too close to Whismur.

Diogee really wanted to make up for scaring Whismur when they met.

“-and Musicals favor Pokémon with arms. Minccino would do well since she can hold the props, but Tepig wouldn’t get much applause,” Amanda said. “There’s way more room for creativity in Contests.”

“You think Zack and Lydia are gonna move into the battle round?” Melissa asked.

Amanda nodded. “Lydia works super hard. Sometimes it’s hard to convince her that she needs to take the break I scheduled. I don’t know about Zack though. Maybe he’ll pass, maybe he won’t.”

“Zack’s gonna pass. He worked really hard yesterday,” Milo said.

“Might not be enough,” Melissa admitted. “It’s not Zack’s fault, but he didn’t have time to train considering everything that happened since we came to town.”

The lights onstage flared, and the announcer cleared her throat to get the audience’s attention.

“Welcome to the Rustboro Contest! My name is Shelley, and I’ll be your MC! Before we begin, let’s give a round of applause to our judges!” Shelley declared, gesturing to the judges’ panel.

“Rustboro City’s Nurse Joy. Looking forward to seeing all these lovely Pokémon!”

“Mr. Sukizo, president of the Pokémon Fan Club. Let’s make this a remarkable Contest!”

Mr. Sukizo, the Remarkable Pokémon. He hails from a remarkable town in a remarkable country and judges remarkable Pokémon in remarkable competitions.

“Whoops, forgot to turn the silly thing off,” Milo said, quickly shutting down his Pokédex.

“So...is he one of Hoenn’s native Pokémon?” Amanda asked.

Melissa shook her head. “No, but it’s an easy mistake to make.”

Shelley heaved a great sigh, shooting an irritated glare at the empty seat next to Mr. Sukizo. “Due to unfortunate circumstances involving a Lairon, a tube of mint toothpaste, and a sombrero, Mr. Contesta will not be presiding over today’s competition. Instead, please give a warm welcome to-” she squinted at a note card “-the Supreme Lord of Subterranous and its Colony of Mrs. Forrester’s Basement. Give it up for Scott the Undergrounder, everybody.”

“The winner shall be our leader!” Scott exclaimed.

“The winner will receive the Rustboro Ribbon, which will bring them one step closer to the Grand Festival!” Shelley yelled. “Let’s get this Contest underway! Introducing our first contestant, Russell!”

Russell sent out a Wurmple, which showed off its climbing prowess through String Shot. Mr. Sukizo and Nurse Joy complimented Russell for using Wurmple’s natural abilities to weave a beautiful picture of a flower, while Scott tried to collect the string for some weird art project.

His performance was followed by a Slakoth, a Nincada, and a Lombre before Shelley finally shouted Lydia’s name.

Lydia gave the audience a dazzling smile, sending her Poké Ball flying high into the air.

“Let’s get our flames on, Tepig!” Lydia shouted as the Fire-type materialized.

Tepig squealed, stomping the ground and snorting tiny embers.

“Use Attract!”

Tepig winked, and several small pink hearts surrounded his body. Then he cloaked himself in a Flame Charge and zigzagged around the stage in an intricate pattern. The hearts zoomed after Tepig, blazing in spectacular red and gold flames when they touched the fiery streaks he left behind.

“Finale time!” Lydia cheered. “Roll into those hearts with Defense Curl!”

Tepig cut off Flame Charge and rolled into every heart, tucking into a ball just before impact. The flaming hearts burst into a brilliant cloud of warm sparkles.

Lydia and Tepig struck a pose and bowed to the captivated crowd.

“WHOO! GO, LYDIA!” Amanda screeched, her voice rising above every other cheer from the captivated crowd.

“What a passionate performance!” Shelley clapped. “Let’s see what our judges have to say!”

“You don’t see Tepig very often around here, but I’m sure there are many people here who’d like to catch one for themselves after today!” Nurse Joy exclaimed.

“Remarkable!” Mr. Sukizo added.

“The bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. “And we will happily be enslaved to His Lardiness for all eternity!”

Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo inched away from him.

Shelley stared at Scott for a moment, then recovered and introduced the next competitor.

“Lydia was really amazing!” Milo exclaimed. Whismur flinched, and Milo stroked one of his ears to calm him down. “Sorry, I’ll gush quietly next time.”

“You should save your compliments, Milo,” Amanda said. “I’m sure Lydia and Tepig want to hear them. Those two thrive on attention.��

“We have one more competitor left in the appeal round! Give it up for Zack Underwood, everyone!” Shelley shouted.

The curtains parted to reveal Zack, who waved nervously at the audience before releasing Treecko. He didn’t shout anything spectacular like most coordinators during their appeal.

“Zack Underwood? As in the Lumberzacks?”

“Aren’t they from Johto?”

“He’s the cutest one!”

“No, Max is cuter!”

The announcement of his name seemed to stir something in the crowd, especially the preteen girls who seemed interested in getting him to sign their faces in permanent marker.

“I think we should help him figure out a catchphrase,” Milo suggested.

Unfortunately, Zack’s nerves were affecting Treecko. Bullet Seed didn’t form a perfect circle into the ground. The top portion stuck out into a point and one side was wavy. Luckily, Treecko was trying to play it off by crossing his arms and acting like the unusual shape was deliberate. But Zack didn’t seem to take the cue.

“Mega Drain!” Zack yelled.

Treecko spread his arms and closed his eyes, drawing bright green energy from the seeds to create a large, verdant circle around Treecko. Zack closed his appeal with a display of Treecko’s agility, ending with Treecko messing up a landing on Zack’s shoulder.

“His Treecko is amazing!”

“They’re cute in a dorky way!”

Melissa folded her arms. “Why is everyone focusing on how cute he is and not his performance?”

Milo held Whismur so he could cheer for Zack too. Whismur’s cries blended in with the fangirls’ screaming. “What, you don’t think he’s cute?” Milo asked.

Melissa punched him in the shoulder.

“That question was rhetorical.”

“Good.”

They missed out on Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo’s comments, but they bore witness to Scott’s incredibly bizarre dance moves that didn’t resemble chopping down a tree while eating pancakes in any culture no matter what he claimed.

Shelley called for a brief interlude to allow the judges enough time to decide who would be moving onto the battle round. Milo, Melissa, and Amanda rushed out of their seats to meet up with Zack and Lydia, who were hanging out in the lobby.

Whismur jumped out of Milo’s arms and hopped straight into Zack’s lap, greeting Treecko with an enthusiastic shout. Treecko chewed his leaf and held up his hand in response.

“You were on fire, Tepig!” Milo exclaimed. “Literally and figuratively!”

Tepig lifted his tail proudly.

“Don’t get a big head,” Lydia warned playfully.

“Told you feeding him those Cheri berries would make his flames brighter,” Amanda said.

“It totally worked, Amanda,” Lydia agreed. “I can’t wait for the battle round! Though I really hope we don’t face that Lombre. That Water Gun and Nature Power combo would be awful for anyone weak to Water.”

“That Lombre slipped on a puddle and lost control of Water Gun too,” Amanda reminded her. “There’s a good possibility it won’t be in the battle round.”

“I don’t think I’ll be in the battle round either,” Zack admitted. “It was nice of the judges to say we had potential, but I could tell Treecko and I weren’t in sync.”

“Don’t say that, Zack! All we need to do is find your confidence and think up a catchphrase for you!” Milo exclaimed.

Zack raised an eyebrow. “A catchphrase?”

Melissa shrugged. “You didn’t yell anything when you sent out Treecko. Your previous popularity was the only thing that kept the fangirls’ eyes on you.”

“It’s not a bad idea,” Lydia agreed, snapping Zack out of his panic over the idea that the majority of the audience was made up of fangirls with a crush on him. “You just need a catchphrase to psych yourself up!”

The TV screens flickered to life, and pictures of the participants flashed onto the screen. Lydia’s picture appeared in the second slot, but Zack’s didn’t show up. Eight coordinators were moving on.

Much to Lydia’s relief, the Lombre trainer didn’t appear either.

“If your picture is onscreen, please head to the backroom immediately. Matchups will be randomly determined by the computer.”

“That’s our cue! Wish us luck!” Lydia exclaimed, running off with Tepig in tow.

The others headed back to their seats, and Zack put on a pair of sunglasses and hat to avoid being recognized. Strangely, he didn’t change out of his clothes or recall his Treecko, so Milo figured that Zack’s fangirls had really bad eyesight.

Tepig’s Flame Charge knocked out Russell’s Wurmple before half the allotted five minutes had passed. Wurmple didn’t get the chance to show off any fancy maneuvers with String Shot.

A Beautifly’s Gust rendered a Shroomish’s powder-based attacks ineffective, and a Skitty accidentally knocked itself out through recoil damage when Assist unexpectedly turned into Double-Edge.

In the semifinals, Lydia faced an Aron who was fond of using Mud Slap. A quarter of her points were knocked off after Tepig was hit by a splatter of mud, but she recovered quickly by immobilizing Aron with Attract and letting an Ember finish the job.

Beautifly fended off Dustox’s poison attacks and advanced to the finals as well.

“Let’s all get hyped for our final round!” Shelley exclaimed. “Will Becky and Beautifly blow away Lydia and Tepig’s flames? Remember, whoever wins the final round will get the Rustboro Ribbon! You have five minutes to knock out your opponent or deplete as many points as you can! Without further ado, the battle starts now!”

Becky ordered a Stun Spore as soon as the clock started, which Tepig dodged. But since the Stun Spore enhanced Beautifly’s shimmering wings, Lydia still lost several points.

“Ember!” Lydia shouted.

Tepig aimed several sparks of fire at Beautifly, but a Gust attack blew them away harmlessly. Then Tepig followed up with Attract, and although Beautifly wasn’t affected the way Aron had been, it was lulled into a false sense of security and failed to counter the next onslaught of Ember.

Becky’s point bar decreased by a quarter.

“Use Absorb!” Becky yelled.

“Ember again!”

The attacks dissipated into red and green sparkles.

“Approaching the halfway mark!” Shelley warned.

“We gotta hurry up, use Flame Charge!”

“Counter with Silver Wind!”

Beautifly’s Silver Wind whipped at Tepig’s body, and he stumbled and lost the fire he’d created for Flame Charge.

“Go around!” Lydia yelled.

Tepig scrambled out of Silver Wind’s way, quickly cloaking himself in Flame Charge and zooming around the stage. Beautifly broke off Silver Wind and flew after Tepig, only to stop in confusion when its target disappeared. Tepig’s fire flashed in streaks and disappeared just as quickly, causing Becky’s point total to decrease further.

Once Beautifly was low to the ground, Tepig slammed into it.

Beautifly crumpled into a heap, and the buzzer sounded.

“ALRIGHT, SHE WON! SHE WON!” Amanda screeched so loudly that even Shelley glared at her. Minccino shook her head at her trainer’s behavior and climbed onto Diogee’s fur in an attempt to camouflage herself.

Melissa and Zack held onto Amanda’s arm to prevent her from climbing over the railing.

“Congratulations, you two!” Milo shouted.

Becky recalled Beautifly and walked off stage as the judges ushered Lydia and Tepig onto the winner’s platform.

“Bacon shall be our leader!” Scott declared. Somehow he’d gotten hold of Shelley’s microphone.

Nurse Joy and Mr. Sukizo congratulated Lydia and presented her with the Rustboro Ribbon as Shelley and Scott fought for control over the microphone.

The Contest Hall cleared out rather quickly because Mildred dug her way to the surface and felt the need to decimate a few walls in order to defend her master.

Bob Webber is actually from Phineas and Ferb (the guy who says okay and snaps his fingers in The Lake Nose Monster and Candace’s Big Day), but hey I needed another captain and he came to mind.

I don’t like Pokemon Musicals. Not nearly as fun as Contests.

Shelley is the name of the announcer in Battle of the Bands. The one with the blue streak in her hair and voiced by Olivia Olson. I checked the MML wiki. Apparently, her name was mentioned in the closed captioning.

While a Contest Hall doesn’t exist in Rustboro in the games, there was a Rustboro Contest that served as May’s introduction to contests in the anime.

Hoenn contest battles tend to be a little more like regular battles where the objective is to knock out the opponent, but with a creative twist. This isn’t the case in Sinnoh, where more emphasis is placed on execution rather than power.

Well, this concludes Rustboro! Next time, setting sail to Dewford!

#absolutely disastrous #milo murphy's law #pokemon #oras au #melissa chase #zack underwood #amanda and lydia

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