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thatsnotcanonpodcasts · 4 years

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Bionic Eye, Miquela & Manchester United

Congratulations SpaceX for their sucessful manned Crew Dragon mission to the ISS.

Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology. It's not as great as Steve Austin's bionic eye from the Six Million Dollar Man, but it's pretty cool. Scientists have made a bionic eyeball inspired by the actual working of the human eye. This cool tech isn't ready to go in a human head yet, but when it is we can only hope it's cheaper than Steve's eye.

Robots are here, and they're coming for your jobs. Now even actors don't have job security. Miquela is a CGI replacement for advertising models is now leaving Instagram and breaking into acting. Which raises a concerning question. How long until they replace the podcasters?

Football manager is one of the most popular management simulators. Recently they've come under fire from Manchester United for copyright issues. Despite letting it slide for almost 30 years, Man U have decided it's time to sue.

This week in gaming DJ jumps at shadows in Alan Wake and Professor goes full Groundhog Day in Into the Breach.

Bionic eyes giving sight

- https://bgr.com/2020/05/24/bionic-eye-human-prosthetics/

- https://www.nature.com/articles/s41586-020-2285-x

The Rise of Virtual actresses: Miquela

- https://www.theguardian.com/film/2020/may/25/are-virtual-actors-about-to-put-hollywoods-humans-out-of-work-miquela

Man United suing Football Manager

- https://www.theguardian.com/football/2020/may/22/manchester-united-sues-football-manager-makers-over-use-of-name

Games Played

Professor

– Into The Breach – https://store.steampowered.com/app/590380/Into_the_Breach/

Rating: 4/5

– Alan Wake – https://store.steampowered.com/app/108710/Alan_Wake/

Rating: 4/5

Other topics discussed

Sailor Moon Redraw : Jar Jar Binks edition

- https://knowyourmeme.com/photos/1854154-sailor-moon-redraw

Cochlear Implant (A cochlear implant (CI) is a surgically implanted neuroprosthetic device to provide a person with moderate to profound sensorineural hearing loss a modified sense of sound. CI bypasses the normal acoustic hearing process to replace it with electric signals which directly stimulate the auditory nerve.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cochlear_implant

Why some people turned down a 'medical miracle' and decided to stay deaf

- https://www.insider.com/why-deaf-people-turn-down-cochlear-implants-2016-12

Lil Miquela Instagram profile

- https://www.instagram.com/lilmiquela/

James Dean will be digitally resurrected for a new film. Is it movie magic or dark arts?

- https://www.washingtonpost.com/arts-entertainment/2019/11/07/james-dean-will-be-digitally-resurrected-new-film-is-it-movie-magic-or-dark-arts/

Peter Cushing CGI resurrection in Star Wars Rogue One

- https://www.theguardian.com/film/filmblog/2016/dec/16/rogue-one-star-wars-cgi-resurrection-peter-cushing

The Drip: having a large amount of swag typically used in the context of clothing

- https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=the%20drip

Adobe Voco (Adobe Voco will be an audio editing and generating prototype software by Adobe that enables novel editing and generation of audio.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adobe_Voco

Detroit: Become Human (Detroit: Become Human is a 2018 adventure game developed by Quantic Dream and published by Sony Interactive Entertainment.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Detroit:_Become_Human

South Park – They Took Our Jobs

- https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N-kgb1QtSnU

Football Manager ((also known as Worldwide Soccer Manager in North America from 2004 to 2008) is a series of football management simulation video games developed by Sports Interactive and published by Sega.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Football_Manager

P90 (The P90 or ES C90, as it was previously known, is a submachine gun featured in the Counter-Strike series. They are based off FN P90.)

- https://counterstrike.fandom.com/wiki/P90

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FN_P90

Generic Trademark (A generic trademark, also known as a genericised trademark or proprietary eponym, is a trademark or brand name that, because of its popularity or significance, has become the generic name for, or synonymous with, a general class of product or service, usually against the intentions of the trademark's holder.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Generic_trademark

An introduction to YouTube Copyright in United Kingdom

- https://www.bl.uk/business-and-ip-centre/articles/an-introduction-to-youtube-copyright

Pro Evo Soccer (More experienced gamers often use "patches", editing the actual game code and modifying the graphical content to include accurate kits for unlicensed teams, new stadiums, and footballs from Nike, Inc., Puma,Umbro and Mitre, as well as more Adidas balls. Most patches also contain licensed referee kits from FIFA and the official logos of the various European leagues.)

- https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pro_Evolution_Soccer#Gameplay

Quantum Break (From Remedy Entertainment, the masters of cinematic action games, comes Quantum Break, a time-amplified suspenseful blockbuster. The Quantum Break experience is part game, part live action show—where decisions in one dramatically affect the other.)

- https://store.steampowered.com/app/474960/Quantum_Break/

Control (After a secretive agency in New York is invaded by an otherworldly threat, you become the new Director struggling to regain Control in this supernatural 3rd person action-adventure from Remedy Entertainment and 505 Games)

- https://store.steampowered.com/app/870780/Control/

Elvis the Alien (Elvis (real name: Aelphaeis Mangarae) is an alien from the Maian race. He is a 'Protector' (bodyguard) for the Maian ambassador who travels to Earth at Daniel Carrington's request.)

- https://perfectdark.fandom.com/wiki/Elvis

‘Labyrinth’ Sequel: New Director revealed

- https://deadline.com/2020/05/labyrinth-sequel-scott-derrickson-director-maggie-levin-write-script-doctor-strange-1202943188/

‘Labyrinth’ Sequel idea : Jennifer Connelly’s Sarah grows up to be the Goblin King.

- https://twitter.com/kaytaylorrea/status/1265493556988387328

Love, Stranger (TNC Podcast)

- https://thatsnotcanon.com/lovestrangerpodcast

Shout Outs

22 May 2020 – Pac-Man turns 40 - https://www.digitaltrends.com/gaming/pac-man-turns-40-seven-secrets/?utm_source=reddit&utm_medium=web

The yellow dude with the insatiable appetite for power pellets is turning 40, having racked up everything from sales records to a breakfast cereal. And there is no gaming icon who is more recognizable — or who has done more to bring gaming to the front of the collective cultural mind. Pac-Man’s raison d’être is chomping dots. And Iwatani says food was central to the design of the character. As he thought about how to design a game that would attract female players, he thought about how much his wife loved to eat dessert. That verb — eat — began the thought process that led to the game. The original name for Pac-Man in Japan was Puck-Man. Midway Games, which distributed the title in the U.S., changed it to Pac-Man so vandals wouldn’t cut out part of the P to create something that didn’t fit in a family-friendly arcade. The name Puck came from the Japanese expression “puck puck” which loosely translates to “munch munch.” When Pac-Man made his debut on May 22, 1980, video games were largely considered a boy’s club. Creator Toru Iwatani, in a panel presentation at GDC 2011, said he wanted to create a game to change that. “The reason I created Pac-Man was because we wanted to attract female gamers,” he says. “People had to go to the arcade center to play games. That was a playground for boys. It was dirty and smelly. So, we wanted to include female players, so it would become cleaner and brighter.”

22 May 2020 – Perfect Dark turns 20 - https://comicbook.com/gaming/news/perfect-dark-20-years-old-fans-want-new-game/

Rare Ltd's Nintendo 64 classic Perfect Dark turned 20 years old. Released on May 22nd, 2000, the game was Rare's follow-up to GoldenEye 007. Rare originally intended to make another Bond game, but was outbid by Electronic Arts. Instead, Rare decided to develop their own franchise, introducing the world to protagonist Joanna Dark. The resulting game was a massive success, and a prequel was released on Xbox 360. Although critics widely praised its graphics,artificial intelligence, and number of multiplayer options, they frequently criticised its occasional frame rate drops. The game received the BAFTA Interactive Entertainment Moving Images Award for 2000 and theGolden Satellite Award for Best Interactive Product in 2001. The game is occasionally cited as one of the greatest video games of all time. A remaster, also titled Perfect Dark, featuring enhanced graphics and online multiplayer, was released in 2010.

22 May 2020 – Berlin WW2 bombing survivor Saturn the alligator dies in Moscow Zoo - https://www.bbc.com/news/amp/world-europe-52784240

After hatching in Mississippi, Saturn was soon brought to Germany, residing at the Berlin Zoological Garden. It was here that his association with Adolf Hitler originated, as Hitler reportedly enjoyed visiting the zoo and especially liked the alligator. It was from this period that the popular rumor emerged that Saturn was Adolf Hitler's "pet". This may have originated with the author Boris Akunin, a Russian writer who hypothesized in an article that this may have been the case. In actuality, he was not Hitler's personal pet, as he was on public display at the zoo. However, some sources report his display at the zoo as being part of a personal menagerie of Hitler's, while Dmitry Vasilyev, a veterinarian at the Moscow Zoo, contends that while Saturn was not Hitler's pet, the two certainly came into contact, as Hitler was known to have visited the Berlin Zoo on occasion. During World War II, much of the Berlin Zoo was destroyed. Of the zoo's 16,000 animals, only 96 survived. When the aquarium building was destroyed by a bomb on 23 November 1943, 20 to 30 alligators and crocodiles were killed. Press reports documented that the streets near the aquarium were littered with alligator andcrocodile corpses, but that some, including Saturn, had survived and were wandering through the city in search of food. Saturn was discovered by British soldiers three years later. The British then gave the alligator to the Soviets in 1946. He lived at the Moscow Zoo until 22 May 2020, when he died of old age.

23 May 2020 – Lost series finale turns 10 - https://observer.com/2020/05/lost-series-finale-the-end-jean-higgins-jeff-pinkner-damon-lindelof/

The 10-year anniversary of its series finale, “The End,” was a grippingly divisive chapter in modern pop culture history. Although the final strokes of its conclusion were not set it stone when that pilot first aired, consideration to the endgame had always been brewing. To unpack how the series navigated the minefield of fan expectations while battling the network for direction, Lost‘s conclusion was rockier than most fans at home realized. From the very beginning of the show’s development, the Lost title was meant to have a double meaning. Yes, the characters themselves were physically lost in the world on this mysterious island. But, more crucially, they were each spiritually lost in their own lives. The show always tried to remain true to the characters and, by the end, to some spiritual outlook about life and our purpose. It also edged open new doors into its story even as the show approached its very end. Lost often felt artistically bold, but that didn’t come without drawbacks. “The End” polarized audiences deeply. Several critics named it among the worst series finales of all time, while others called it an underrated masterpiece. Regardless of the ongoing debate that still ensnares “The End,” Lost as a whole remains one of the most acclaimed television shows in history.

Remembrances

25 May 1939 – Sir Frank Watson Dyson - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Watson_Dyson

English astronomer and Astronomer Royal who is remembered today largely for introducing time signals ("pips") from Greenwich, England, and for the role he played in proving Einstein's theory of general relativity. In 1928, he introduced in the Observatory a new free-pendulum clock, the most accurate clock available at that time and organised the regular wireless transmission from the GPO wireless station at Rugby of Greenwich Mean Time. He also, in 1924, introduced the distribution of the "six pips" via the BBC. Dyson was noted for his study of solar eclipses and was an authority on the spectrum of the corona and on the chromosphere. He is credited with organising expeditions to observe the 1919 solar eclipse at Brazil and Principe, which he somewhat optimistically began preparing for prior to the Armistice of 11 November 1918. Dyson presented his observations of the solar eclipse of May 29, 1919 to a joint meeting of the Royal Society and Royal Astronomical Society on 6 November 1919. The observations confirmed Albert Einstein's theory of the effect of gravity on light which until that time had been received with some scepticism by the scientific community. Dyson died on board a ship at the age of 71 while travelling from Australia to England in 1939 and was buried at sea.

25 May 1981 – Ruby Payne-Scott - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ruby_Payne-Scott

Ruby Violet Payne-Scott, Australian pioneer in radiophysics and radio astronomy, and was the first female radio astronomer. On 18 August 1941, Payne-Scott joined the Radiophysics Laboratory of the Australian government's Commonwealth Scientific and Industrial Research Organisation (CSIRO). During World War II, she was engaged in top secret work investigating radar technology, becoming Australia's expert on the detection of aircraft using Plan Position Indicator (PPI) displays. After the war, in 1948, she published a comprehensive report on factors affecting visibility on PPI displays. She also made important contributions to prototype radar systems operating in the 25cm microwave band, achieving significant improvements. Payne-Scott's expertise as both a physicist and an electrical engineer distinguished her among her colleagues, most of whom lacked a formal physics education. From 1946 to 1951, Payne-Scott focused on these 'burst' radio emissions from the sun, and is credited with discovering Type I and III bursts, and with gathering data that helped characterise Types II and IV. As part of this work, together with Alec Little, she designed and built a new 'swept-lobe' interferometer that could draw a map of solar radio emission strength and polarization once every second, and would automatically record to a movie camera whenever emissions reached a certain intensity. In 2018, the New York Times wrote a belated obituary for her, detailing how her work helped lay the foundation for a new field of science called radio astronomy. In 2008, CSIRO acknowledged Payne-Scott's contribution to science, and established the Payne-Scott Award, intended "for researchers returning from family-related career breaks". She died from complications of dementia at the age of 68 in Mortdale,New South Wales.

25 May 1981 – Fredric Warburg - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fredric_Warburg

Fredric John Warburg, British publisher best known for his association with the author George Orwell. During a career spanning a large part of the 20th century and ending in 1971 Warburg published Orwell's Animal Farm as well as Nineteen Eighty-Four, and works by other leading figures such asThomas Mann and Franz Kafka. Other notable publications included The Third Eye by Lobsang Rampa, Pierre Boulle's The Bridge over the River Kwai, Adolf Hitler's Mein Kampf and William Shirer's The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich. Warburg started his publishing career in 1922, as an apprentice at Routledge & Sons, where he came under the tutelage of William Swan Stallybrass, a man he regarded as "the greatest scholar-publisher of his day". After Stallybrass died in 1931 Warburg became increasingly dissatisfied with Routledge and in 1935 he was dismissed. Later that year he and Roger Senhouse purchased the publishing firm of Martin Secker, which had gone into receivership, and renamed it Secker & Warburg. The firm became renowned for its independent left-wing position, being both anti-fascist and anti-Communist, which put it at loggerheads with many intellectuals of the time. He died from Congestive heart failure at the age of 82 in London.

Famous Birthdays

25 May 1865 – Pieter Zeeman - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pieter_Zeeman

Pieter Zeeman, Dutch physicist who shared the 1902 Nobel Prize in Physics with Hendrik Lorentz for his discovery of the Zeeman effect. In 1896, shortly before moving from Leiden to Amsterdam, he measured the splitting of spectral lines by a strong magnetic field, a discovery now known as the Zeeman effect, for which he won the 1902 Nobel Prize in Physics. This research involved an investigation of the effect of magnetic fields on a light source. He discovered that a spectral line is split into several components in the presence of a magnetic field. The importance of Zeeman's discovery soon became apparent. It confirmed Hendrik Lorentz’s prediction about the polarization of light emitted in the presence of a magnetic field. Thanks to Zeeman's work it became clear that the oscillating particles that according to Lorentz were the source of light emission were negatively charged, and were a thousandfold lighter than the hydrogen atom. This conclusion was reached well before Thomson's discovery of the electron. The Zeeman effect thus became an important tool for elucidating the structure of the atom. He was born in Zonnemaire.

25 May 1889 – Igor Sikorsky - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igor_Sikorsky

Igor Ivanovich Sikorsky, Russian–American aviation pioneer in both helicopters and fixed-wing aircraft. His first success came with the S-2, the second aircraft of his design and construction. His fifth airplane, the S-5, won him national recognition as well as F.A.I. license number 64. HisS-6-A received the highest award at the 1912 Moscow Aviation Exhibition, and in the fall of that year the aircraft won for its young designer, builder and pilot first prize in the military competition at Saint Petersburg. After immigrating to the United States in 1919, Sikorsky founded the Sikorsky Aircraft Corporation in 1923, and developed the first of Pan American Airways' ocean-crossing flying boats in the 1930s. In 1939, Sikorsky designed and flew the Vought-Sikorsky VS-300, the first viable American helicopter, which pioneered the rotor configuration used by most helicopters today. Sikorsky modified the design into the Sikorsky R-4, which became the world's first mass-produced helicopter in 1942. He was born in Kiev.

25 May 1944 – Frank Oz - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Frank_Oz

Frank Richard Oznowicz, American actor, puppeteer, director and producer. He began his career as a puppeteer, performing the Muppet characters of Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear, Animal, and Sam Eagle in The Muppet Show; and Cookie Monster, Bert, and Grover in Sesame Street. He is also known for the role of Yoda in the Star Wars series, providing the voice for the character in several films and television series. His work as a director includes Little Shop of Horrors , Dirty Rotten Scoundrels, The Score and Death at a Funeral . Oz has performed as a Muppet performer in over 75 productions including Labyrinth, video releases, and television specials, as well as countless other public appearances, episodes of Sesame Street, and other Jim Henson series. His puppetry work spans from 1963 to the present, although he semi-retired from performing his Muppets characters in 2001. Oz is also known as the performer of Jedi Master Yoda from George Lucas' Star Wars series. Jim Henson had originally been contacted by Lucas about possibly performing Yoda. Henson was preoccupied and instead suggested Oz to be assigned as chief puppeteer of the character, as well as a creative consultant. Oz performed the puppet and provided the voice for Yoda in The Empire Strikes Back , Return of the Jedi , Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace , and Star Wars: The Last Jedi. Oz had a great deal of creative input on the character and was himself responsible for creating the character's trademark syntax. He was born in Hereford,Herefordshire.

Events of Interest

25 May 1895 – Oscar Wilde arrested for indecency - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/oscar-wilde-is-sent-to-prison-for-indecency

Writer Oscar Wilde is sent to prison after being convicted of sodomy. The famed writer of Dorian Gray and The Importance of Being Earnest brought attention to his private life in a feud with Sir John Sholto Douglas, whose son was intimately involved with Wilde. Homosexuality was a criminal offense and serious societal taboo at this time in Britain. Wilde had gone back and forth between hiding his sexual orientation and attempting to gain some measure of public acceptance. At Wilde’s first criminal trial, he was cross-examined extensively on the “love that dare not speak its name.” Wilde managed to secure a mistrial when a lone juror refused to vote to convict. The second trial began on May 21. Although many of the potential witnesses refused to betray Wilde by testifying, he was convicted. The judge remarked at his sentencing, “It is the worst case I have ever tried. I shall pass the severest sentence that the law allows. In my judgment it is totally inadequate for such a case as this. The sentence of the Court is that you be imprisoned and kept to hard labor for two years.

26 May 1897 – Dracula goes to sale in London - https://www.history.com/this-day-in-history/dracula-goes-on-sale-in-london

The first copies of the classic vampire novel Dracula, by Irish writer Bram Stoker, appear in London bookshops on May 26, 1897. It earned him literary fame and became known as a masterpiece of Victorian-era Gothic literature. Written in the form of diaries and journals of its main characters, Dracula is the story of a vampire who makes his way from Transylvania—a region of Eastern Europe now in Romania—to Yorkshire, England, and preys on innocents there to get the blood he needs to live. Stoker had originally named the vampire “Count Wampyr.” He found the name Dracula in a book on Wallachia and Moldavia written by retired diplomat William Wilkinson, which he borrowed from a Yorkshire public library during his family’s vacations there. Vampires–who left their burial places at night to drink the blood of humans–were popular figures in folk tales from ancient times, but Stoker’s novel catapulted them into the mainstream of 20th-century literature. Late 20th-century examples of the vampire craze include the bestselling novels of American writer Anne Rice and the cult hit TV series Buffy the Vampire Slayer. The 21st century saw the wildly popularTwilight film and book series.

25 May 2010 – Fireball was released in Italy

-https://www.scifihistory.net/may-25.html

- https://www.betafilm.com/en/product/d/fireball.html

- https://horrornews.net/559/film-review-fireball-2009/

On this day in 2010 (in Italy), Fireball burned up the charts of the home video marketplace. The feature starred Ian Somerhalder and Lexa Doig, and here's the plot summary : Tyler “The Fuse” Draven is a former pro linebacker who has finally hit rock bottom. Draven has been caught using steroids and is no longer allowed to play pro football; if that’s not enough he has a news reporter constantly harassing him waving a camera in his face. After attacking the news reporter Tyler is sent to prison and one would think that would be the end to this mans story however a fire erupts in the prison and melds with the steroids in Draven’s blood stream causing him to suddenly be able to control heat and fire, now somebody is gonna pay!

Intro

Artist – Goblins from Mars

Song Title – Super Mario - Overworld Theme (GFM Trap Remix)

Song Link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GNMe6kF0j0&index=4&list=PLHmTsVREU3Ar1AJWkimkl6Pux3R5PB-QJ

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ramad1des · 9 years

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يوم أول في المستشفى الجامعي!

ظهيرة يوم صيفي قائظ, - اوتش حر! اخبرت ابي والشمس تنصب محرقة علي, نظر لي بلطف “مقرعا” اخذت اقوم بتعديل جهاز التكييف الذي ل�� فائدة منه في سيارة غير مظللة كهذه بينما راح ابي يقوم بضبط اعدادات “جوجل ماب” كي نصل الى وجهتنا سالمين, وصلنا مبكرين عن موعدنا المفترض بساعة بعد أن ضعنا في شوارع الرياض قليلا وهذا يرجع إلى عادة أبي التي تجعلنا نخرج مبكرين بساعة ونصف عن أي موعد احتراسا لحدوث طارئ كازدحام السير أو ضياعنا “كما يحدث عادة”, اعلمناهم بوجودنا ثم جلسنا ننتظر وننتظر, ربع ساعة… نصف …. سحبت قلمي الإلكتروني واخذت ارسم “سيكون نهارا طويلا” فكرت.

ساعة مرت, ساعتان, ثم حان دخولنا, تثاءب أبي “الحمد لله” واشار لي بسرعه, ذهبت إلى العيادة ركضا تقريبا, المهندس الذي لاقيته لأول مرة يبدوا لطيفا وهذا مهم جدا ومطمئن، فمن يرغب أن يعالج عند شخصٍ بغيضٍ عبوسٍ وان كان “تشيخوف” زمانه!

- “تفضلي” كلمني المهندس <والذي عرفت بأن اسمه حسن> مشيرا إلى كابين عازل للصوت والذي بالمناسبة أسميه “كابين الرعب” لأنه …. حسنا سأشرح السبب في النهاية!

جلست وتم اغلاق الباب علي فأصبحت في صمت دامس إلا صوت أنفاسي المتتالية، أشار لي من خلف الزجاج فهززت رأسي اتمتم لنفسي بأسى “نعم أعرف ما سأفعل” دقيقة و <هوبا> بدأ الأمر! كان علي أن أرفع يدي كلما سمعت صوتا, استمر الأمر دقيقة ربما ثم انتهى, أُشير لي أن أخرج فخرجت مسرعة مستبشرة بخلاصي.

تبعت أبي والمهندس إلى غرفة أخرى هنا يبدأ الجزء الأسهل لكن المحيّر أيضا, شغل المهندس جهاز اللابتوب وطلب مني سماعتي مددتها له, أمسكها ونظرة ذهول تطل من عينيه, اخذ وقتا وهو يفك اللاصق الذي كنت قد دثرت سماعتي به “كانت كميته كبيرة على فكره” بالطبع أثناء هذا كنت صامتة نظرا لأن سماعتي معه وبالتالي فأنا لا أسمع “أصمت دونها رأفة بحال البشرية فصوتي دونها عالياً بشكل مفجع” , نظرت إلى أبي فرأيته يشرح للمهندس سبب هذا اللاصق وضحكة لطيفة تطل من عينيه فابتسمت لطرافة المنظر واللاصق ينفلت من السماعة ليلتصق بسطح الطاولة ويعيث في الغرفة فسادا!, لأشرح لكم كي تكونوا على بينة, سماعتي كانت قد سقطت من رأسي ذات يوم فشرخ الجزء التحتي منها “البي تي” واصبح يلزمه لاصق كي يعمل وكي لايمتد الشرخ ويتطاول, الجزء العلوي من السماعة “البروسيسر” لا يلتصق بالجزء السفلي دون شيء يثبته وهذه حكاية اللاصق الحزينة كلها :)

بعد تركيب سماعتي بجهاز الكومبيوتر تم عمل اختبار غريب لي اخبرني بأنه اختبارا للعصب السمعي بعد الانتهاء منه وبدء البرمجة طلبت منه أن يحتفظ بالبرنامج الذي استخدمه عادة دون المساس به “لأطمئن نفسيا فقط تحسباً لو أن برمجته سيئة وهذا ماتم تفنيده في النهاية” فابتسم واخبرني أن هذه آلية عمله, بدأ يعلي الأصوات ويسألني هكذا جيد؟ كنت أخبره برأيي في الصوت أطلب منه أن يعليه تارةً أو يخفضه تارة واخبره لو شعرت أن الصوت كان مكتوماً وبالطبع كنت اطلب من والدي أن يتحدث حتى أقرر استحساني للصوت من عدمه, عندما وصلنا لنتيجة جيدة أخبرته أن يتوقف فاقترح علي أن يقوم برفع الصوت لمرة أخيره؟ بعد أن قام برفعه شعرت, كيف أصف ماشعرت به؟ كان شيئاً غريبا مع كل صوت وكأن طبلة أذني تهتز, كأنما شيئا ما يخترقها, “مارأيك؟” جازفت وقلت جيد ! لكن لأشعر بالأمان أكثر طلبت منه أن يقوم بحفظ برنامج آخر لنفس البرمجة لكن بصوت أخفض فابتسم وقال لي أن هذا ما يقوم بفعله أصلا, وهكذا تقريبا انتهينا, طرقة على الباب اضطرت المهندس أن يخرج فهمس لي أبي قلقا “شلون بتردين تركبين السماعة والتّيب شالوه!” فاأخبرته ضاحكة وأنا أربت على حقيبتي “لاتخاف جايبه تيب كامل احتياط” وخلال قهقته عاد المهندس ليفصل سماعتي عن جهاز الكمبيوتر ثم أعطاني إياها وهو ينظر قلقا إلى اللاصق الذي لازال ملتصق بالطاولة, شغلت السماعة قبل أن اخرج اللاصق من حقيبتي وياللعجب ! لقد اشتغلت وإن كنت أظنها لفترة قليلة فحسب!! حمدت الله وسرت إلى كابين الرعب مرة أخرى ليعيد لي نفس الاختبار ويقارن بين النتيجتين لقياس مدى التحسن في البرمجة وكانت النتيجة مذهله والحمد لله, صافح أبي مودعا وخرجنا أنا وأبي فرحين حتى أننا نسينا شمس الظهيرة وانتظارنا ومسيرة الألف ميل بين المشفى وسيارتنا! أثناء سيرنا عفوا اصطلاؤنا في الشمس الرائعة:) كانت ضوضاء المراجعين المنعشه , ماذا؟ منعشه!! أجل بدت لي هكذا بعد البرمجة بل وشديدة العذوبة والجمال حتى ! كان أبي يسير أمامي على بعد لابأس به, حادثني وسمعته ! حتى أنا لا أصدق هذا لكنني فعلا سمعته! وسط صوت الهواء القوي وضوضاء السيارات والناس, ولم أكن أرى وجهه أيضا لكنني سمعته ! بالطبع وددت لو أنني خررت ساجدة شكرا لله وسط الجموع ونهضت صائحة أبشرهم أني أسمع بشكل مختلف, لكنني اكتفيت بأن صحت بهجة في داخل عقلي فحسب و اكملت خطواتي المسرورة نحو السيارة التي لازالت تبدوا بعيدة جدا.

*“كابين الرعب"

هوالسوء المتجلي لي منذ ثمان سنوات تقريبا <منذ بدأت بفقد سمعي> أولا لأن الهدوء الشديد في الكابين يبعث فيك أحد شعورين إما أن يخيفك الصمت أو يغلبك النعاس!

أما ثانيا وبعيدا عن الصمت المخيف الذي يجعل صوت أنفاسك يبدو اعلى بديسبلات كثيرة فإنك وحالما يبدأ الاختبار يبدأ عقلك بتقليد الأصوات التي من المفترض ان تضغط على الزر حال سماعها وتبدأ حالة من الحيرة المبكية والتساؤل الشديد هل هذا الصوت من عقلي؟ هل هذا الصوت منبعث من الجهاز؟ أنا لاأظن مطلقا أنني قد خرجت من الاختبار بنتيجة دقيقة أبدا! وطوال الاختبار وأنا ارزح تحت ضغط نفسي هائل! "سألت صديقاتي فكان شعورهن مماثلا لشعوري” فما قصة الأصوات العقلية الباطنية ياترى؟

*“شاهدت عددا من المرضى يستلمون سماعاتهم للمرة الأولى وكنت سعيدة بمرآهم ووددت لو أتيحت لي فرصة جمعهم واخبارهم أي عالم جميل هم مقبلون عليه, أي مرحلة زاخرة بالروعة والتجدد والاستكشاف بدؤوا بعيشها؟ وبشكل ما مرآهم غرس في قلبي شعور محبب من سكينة وانتماء, ذات يوم اخبرت أول صديقة زارعة قوقعة لي أنني حين رأيتها للمرة الأولى شعرت بخيط من نور امتد من روحي ليرتبط بروحها مباركا تشابهنا بالاسم والوضع, وهذا نوع مما شعرت به حال رؤيتي للزارعين ذاهبين وعائدين بحقائبهم الممهورة بشعار "Cochlear” الشهير".

يوم أول في الم��تشفى الجامعي, هل كان يستحق العناء؟

بالطبع فهذه أجمل برمجة مرت علي مطلقا! لكن لأكن أمينه هناك أربع برمجات أبهرتني من بين عشرات البرمجات التي خضعت لها خلال خمس سنوات, كانت البرمجة الأولى التي أبهرتني بعد أشهر من الزراعة على يدي مهندس زائر من شركة كوكلير كان أردني الجنسية أظن بأن اسمه “أحمد”, فعلا كان هو من فتح لي أبواب الاستفادة الحقة من سماعتي, برمجته كانت غريبه ووقتها طويل لكنه أعطى كل حرف حقه وتأكد من أني اسمعه بعدها احببت القوقعة بشكل لايصدق!

البرمجة الثانية

كانت من قبل دكتورتي اللطيفة “

مريم الكندري

”, أشد ما ابهرني بها هو التمييز كان قويا جدا رغم كون الأصوات أصبحت مكتومه لكنها كانت برمجة جيدة جدا, كنت لأعطيها ممتاز لكن بسبب اكتشافي انني لا أسمع صوتي بها “وهذا ماجعلني أزعج الآخرين ازعاجا جما كوني لا اسمع صوتي فلا أتحكم بدرجته” وأيضا اكتشفت كون حرف الميم ملغيا بها, لكنها قطعيا كانت احدى أهم وأروع برمجاتي.

البرمجة الثالثة كانت عند البروفيسور الرائع “أحمد خاطر” وااااو ! وقتها عرف الجميع كم كان صوتي العالي مزيفا! فالبروفيسور عرف سريعا أمري قائلا بنظرة الخبير “أنت لاتسمعين صوتك!” نظرت له ذاهله, فكيف لا أسمع صوتي؟, ضغطة زر وانخفض صوتي درجات كثيرة! حتى أنني حينما عدت إلى المنزل وحادثت أمي اخذت تنظر لي نادمة لتخبرني “كنا ظالمينج لما نقولج قصري صوتج وطلعت السالفه جذي!” وأجل كان البروفيسور خاطر هو من اكتشف عدم سماعي لحرف الميم :)

البرمجة الرابعة والأروع على الإطلاق كانت لدى المهندس “حسن” والتي قد ذكرت قصة حياتها بإسهاب أعلاه, كانت هي البرمجة التي جعلتني اسمع كثيرا من الأحاديث التي كنت أفتقد سماعها في الاجتماعات العائلية بفضل من الله, لم أكن أطلب المستحيل, أعلم أن قوقعتي لن تكون كأذني الطبيعية تماما, لكنني طلبت أن أسمع صوتي فحصلت عليه, أن أسمع في الضوضاء فسمعت “ليس بنسبة 100% لكن بشكل كنت أظنه مستحيلا وأنا راضيه وشاكرة”.

في النهاية وكما يقال “زبدة الكلام” بعد برمجتي الأخيرة أنا أكثر سعادة:)

RAMAD*

#cochlearimplant #cochlearimplants #cochlear_implant #cochlear implant #hearing #medel #cochlear #deaf #صم #زراعة القوقعة #زارعين القوقعة #زراعة_القوقعة #المسار السمعي #المعينات السمعية #سماعات #RAMAD*

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