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#comatoast
djdangerlove · 9 months
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I accidentally said comatoast this morning instead of comatose and I can’t stop reliving the embarrassment so…
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….to be fair he was almost toast.
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stevenbasic · 1 year
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GITJ Post 309: Back to the Study Clinics, p1
That was one of the hardest things I’ve done in a while, just a few minutes ago, leave that beautiful, perfectly built woman alone, asleep in my apartment. There’s nothing I’d rather have done than snuck back under the sheets with Melissa and spend the rest of the morning - even after my pretty embarrassing loss of control against her as she slept. But, duty called and here I am - in the office. I had taken the chance to clean off what I could from Melissa’s remarkable behind, shower quick, and get dressed. Through the whole thing she basically slept, though she did give me a drowsy little kissy-face when I told her ‘bye, I’ve gotta go to work.’
“Yeah there are nights she barely sleeps at all,” Josie was explaining to me, as I readied myself in the hallway to go in to see our first study clinic patient for the morning, waiting in an exam room a few doors down. If you remember, our office had become an external study site for testing Evolution Pharmaceuticals new OTC dietary supplement for women as they looked for FDA approval. “And then there are times,” Josie finished, “where she’s, like, comatoast.”
“Comatose,” I corrected h-
“Yeah whatever,” she continued, pressing on. Josie, one of my new, poorly-trained medical assistants, had known Melissa a long time. Though younger than my new Office Manager by five years or so, I think, she understood her friend well and somehow in fact knew she was upstairs in my apartment sleeping off a night of vodka. That my staff knew my Office Manager had spent the night with me was a little embarrassing, a lot unprofessional, but just another small chip out of the armor of my professional dignity and male pride. “She can sometimes sleep for, like, two days straight,” Josie continued, readjusting her long, medium-brown hair in its ponytail, “especially if she gets really excited.” 
At that, I tried not to blush, or notice how - with her hands behind her head - Josie’s breasts seemed quite big today.
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“Anything really exciting happen last night? This morning? Hm?” Josie then giggled, taking a second to adjust the strap of her bra through her thin blue scrubs. The ‘wink wink’ in her voice was plain to hear, and it brought flashes of memories, Melissa’s and my time together on the couch, and in bed. Josie seemed to know more than she should.
“Well, I think all you girls got a little excited at the bar last night, by the election results,” I began, loathe to start recounting the more lurid details of the evening to my young employee, “but, let’s get to work. Now, why are we doing this on a Wednesday, seeing study patients? Tell me again what that email said?”
“They said they’re fast-tracking everything, ‘cuz of the election results,” Josie explained, reaching out to readjust the two pens in the chest pocket of my new lab coat. The girls had ordered a few in smaller sizes for me. “Evolution needs us to see at least twenty a week now th-"
“Twenty? For real?” I remarked, the idea of it boggling my mind, which was already reeling after the election results, “that’s more than twice as many as we said would be doable when we started..!”
“Yeah I dunno…” Josie agreed, with a noncommittal shrug.
I huffed in my indignity, knowing I really had very little say in the matter at this point. Olivia, Sheryl, Gianna…they were the real decision makers with this thing; as much as I hated to admit it I was more a worker-bee at this point, a drone. The women who ran things at Evolution controlled the money, and - acutely aware of how my geriatric practice was suffering, how anemic it’d become under recent mismanagement - I knew we needed the cash.
“Anyway, who’s supposed to see this patient with me?” I began again, knowing that Josie was scheduled to assist my APRN Vida with Mr. Kowalski’s procedure down the hall, “And what’s this first patient’s name?”
“Her name’s Thalia, Thalia Bates. I don’t think you’ve seen her before. She started on treatment at Evolution. She’s the daughter of some politician guy, a senator from like Minnesota or Canada or something,”  Josie answered, handing me a chart, “and it’s Karen, the new nurse, who’ll be coming in with you. She’s worked with the patient before but I don’t think she’s here yet so-”
I opened the manila folder but just then both Josie and I turned our heads to see Angie, one of the girls from accounting, step out of one of the study exam rooms down the hall, the one where my patient awaited, and scoot quickly away in the opposite direction. She was shoving something into her purse. 
I saw Josie’s eyes narrow. She pulled out her phone, started a text.
“Anyway, I really have to get started so if you’ll excuse me…” I announced, snapping the patient’s chart closed and moving towards the room. I was a little confused why an accountant would be in a room with a patient but whatever. 
“Wait wait,” Josie stopped me, actually stepping towards me as I approached the room, “I didn’t think you were supposed to see these patients alone, by yourself? Karen’s not here yet?””
“It’s fine,” I replied, entering the room. With my first breath my vision began to swim. Spots, patterns appeared on the walls, straight lines and vines warped and everything in my world suddenly became focused on one thing…
“Hi doctor,” the hyper-developed teen seated in a chair across the small room from me chirped, “I’m Thalia…”
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tabbyrp · 12 hours
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What do you call unresponsive bread?
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Comatoast
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hardware-sparks · 1 year
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comatoast
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nightcoremoon · 2 years
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what do you feed a vegetable for breakfast
comatoast
man I sure hope that medically braindead people don’t get offended when they read this joke
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atariforce · 5 years
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California Games BMX Bike Racing by comatoast / Dr Moocowz
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tkflt · 6 years
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🎉 2018 recap vid from our main man @dondraijones!! 🌎 Movement is 💪 and music is 👌🎶 Most clips shot with him wearing our #Ultras and #StealthUltras 👟 . 💬 Words from @dondraijones ⏬ . "Recap of 2018 because all the cool kids are doing it. This year was okay in my opinion. One thing that I set out to do was to get good at bar work and lache... I'd say I'd accomplished that although I'm not near the level in striving for. 2019 I have really only one big resolution and that's to be more mobile with my body. @kadenfreeflow and I are setting out to have full splits by the end of the year, but I also want a better squat, proper landing mechanics for Dem knees, and more rom in my shoulders. Goal of 2020 is to make a video doing every 'big' jump, line, etc I've done over my years of training. However I need to get my body in order before I do so... I'm not 18 anymore :P" . "Also like to thank @tkflt for still believing in me and providing me with $, travel, and encouragement. Also @somaticmovement cause my squad phenomenal. Lastly @comatoastworldwide cause we are 'toasting' to the good life in 2019. Cheers fam!" -@dondraijones 💪 . #TakeFlight #TKFLT #Parkour #freerunning #tkflt #dondraijones #somaticmovement #comatoast #Jump #Leap #Lache #Huge #Move #Movement #Logic #Music #Team #PKFR #Pk4life #Tricks #Flips #Flow #FlyWithUs https://www.instagram.com/p/BsCyG-GH4_w/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1hnc96conp7n8
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bsideinacoma · 7 years
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Presenting Onslaught! I have completed my newest build a figure. Th new Marvel Legends BAF version actually comes with a Red Skull head, however I like th original comic style Onslaught more. So I went with his traditional look. #onslaught #magneto #xmen #brotherhoodofmutants #marvel #marvellegends #marvelbaf #toynerd #customtoy #bside #comatosetoys #comatoast #breatheinyourneighborhood
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I love the feeling of my focus slipping be away when I go do the thing that is not the thing I was doing
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sarcasticstoner29 · 3 years
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Comatoasted should be used as stoner slang. Bc it’s a thing with the right Indica Marijuana Strain … Brownie Scout leaves you ComaToasted. 😂
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woowper · 4 years
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I wanna be comatoast
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dearoldtuxedo · 4 years
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❤️ Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee❤️ 
Well, I’m kinda a teensy bit embarrassed to explained how it all started, but since you’re desperate, I’d be happy to lay the skinny on you!
We go way back. 2008 was a lonely year for me. Ringer had a new calf and had no time for me, Hooty was too busy with an open and closed trial case (that somehow lasted for two weeks), and Jitters was in a comatoast. It was just me and myself and I. So, I decided I must keep myself occupied so I don’t seem like a whiny and needy friend. 
I got myself a pet rock. It died two days later. I tried fooling around on the internet. My computer then caught a virus, along with a fever. I did a lot of unspeakable things I wish not to mention. Eventually, I started hanging around at bars and cafes, hoping I could find myself a new date. One I can actually be happy in. Then, at night, I was flipping through channels endlessly on the old telly, at 3am. I was much too bored to sleep.
Then, suddenly, I was moved by a sweet, far-out melody. This band, playing on my TV, called the Banana Splits, really had me trapped like a fly to honey. Their music was just my taste, and the video they shot gave me a throwback to my happy times in the seventies. Most importantly, the band members looked nice. All of them were cute, but something about Drooper made me blush. He had a fine singing voice, and he really knew how to move. Also, I digged that mane.
So the next day, I purchased their album, watched their new corny little kiddie show, and even picked up on facts about them in Animal and Clock magazine. Drooper not only looked sweet and humble, but by truth, he was in reality. Basically, my love for kitten began out as a mere fan infatuation. And like any fan, I seeked into more knowledge, and collected merchandise. I have never missed one episode of their funny, yet some call ridiculous, kids’ show. 
As the years flow on by, the more I indulged into Drooper’s good vibes, the more I got to know him through honest media sources, the more deeper I fell for him. I even stopped scheduling date plans, cuz all I could think about was him. He was the one I wanted, and knew he was for me. Don’t worry, I wasn’t one of “those fans.” My love for the lion didn’t draw me off focus from life, and hanging out with friends. I was obsessed, but not jiving crazy. I learned my lesson from the 80s. 
At first I was gonna accept our love being one-sided, since I didn’t know he would be into dudes. But until I found out that he was, like, pansexual, I thought I had a chance to woo him. So, every night, I visited the Banana Pad just to flirt and shower him with over the top romantic gestures, as an anonymous admirer. These were simply tests, bud. I really liked him, and wanted to know if he liked me back. As soon as I began to notice, (actually I asked Hooty just to make sure) it was time to get serious.
Right there on his front porch, with a bouquet of plastic flowers. He told me his name, even though I already knew. 🥰
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troyweekesjr · 7 years
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When you tryna #sleep and #bae is being #annoying!! #troyweekesmusic #genesisolivia #baby #dad #fatherdaughter #fatherdaughtergoals #fatherdaughtertime #shesleeping #comatoast #father #daughter #infantcomedy #comedy #fatherdaughterduo #fatherdaughterfun #fatherdaughter #fatherduties #fatherdaugthercomedy
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underground hip hop mix i did with the homie arsenal in denver, co...
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mossboy5000 · 2 years
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whitebeartsd · 6 years
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When your dog is almost comatoast so you can pose their faces. 🤣
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