#coming to Ukranian towns this year

[the-jam-to-the-unicorn]

Name a more iconic trio.

I'll wait.

[kendrixtermina]

It DOESNT MATTER if the Israelis' distant ancestors really came from Palestine

Leaving aside that "indigenous" in a political sense tends to mean "current victim of colonialism or post-colonial structures" and not "being originally from somewhere" (we don't usually call the French "indigenous") consider the following:

All Slavic people & their languages are thought to have originated in what is now Ukraine somewhere in the late middle ages and spread from there to everywhere they live today. Does that mean I can kick a Ukranian out of his house because I have a czech grandpa?

All the Bantu peoples are thought to have originated roughly in what is today Cameroon. Can any west or central African speaking a Bantu language kick out someone in Cameroon from their house? Or even a black person from the USA or the Caribbean?

All the Germanic Peoples originated from Jutland peninsula (what is today Denmark & some bits of Northern Germany.) - can a guy in England, Austria or the USA kick a Dane out of his house?

The people of Australia, Canada, the eastern USA & to a lesser extent South Africa (where many alre also descended from Netherlanders) are all descended from the English. Can they all come to England & kick an English farmer out of his house?

(they can, however, still in practice sometimes get an unfair advantage over Hawaiians & Puerto Ricans, or put a pipeline or mine through a Native American or Australian Aboriginal's home, or expropriate a black person to build a highway... at least there its not based on directly racist laws, in theory a rich POC could do it too.But in practice the result still often screws locals for short-sighted business ventures, so there is some stuff to be fixed still...)

The Romance languages all descend from Latin. Can any Italian kick ppl out out of everything that used to be Roman, including France, England and Bavaria?

Can any Greek kick someone out out of everything that used to be the Byzantine Empire?

Spain belonged to the Islamic empire for a long time. Can a Moroccan go kick a Spanish person out of his house?

Spain does give Spanish nationality to south american spaniards, (to attract skilled workers & fix low population growth), which I know cause my dad insisted on getting it due to patriotic feeling, but while he could buy a house there & vote, he cannot kick anyone out. Not even out of the exact village where his ancestors lived just 100 years ago.

Heck, the czech grandpa I mentioned? His family was expropriated when Communism took over. After communism, my mom & her siblings got an offer to get their farm/house back, but ONLY if they find the ppl currently living in the house an equivalent place.

It turns out there was a family of Romani ppl living there & it would be hard to find them a big house due to housing discrimination - my mom & her siblings just decided to let them keep the house since they were actually using it & none of us was planning to move to rural czechia. It seemed mean to kick out ppl who are being discriminated & had themselves lived there for decades now, after all we have our own places. (and my mom has, like, a painting of the town's church hanging in her living room & remembers living there as a little girl, & has stories about it, including some lewd jokes about the shape of the mountains.)

They should probably do a similar program in Palestine, where Palestinian families can get still-standing houses back or $$ for rebuilding destroyed villages, but the current inhabitants get provided for. Though probably the state should have to find them a new place, not impoverished Palestinians themselves. In the communist expropriation example, chances are the original owner was richer than the current one, which is different in Palestine.

Let us also consider the difference between conquest & immigration.

Conquest means you disrupt the social order & impose your own rules. This is clearly what was done in Palestine.

Immigration is different - I'm all for the right to immigrate & for ppl to live where they want, but immigrating means you fold yourself into an existing society & follow the laws there. (many ppl explicitly immigrate to places where they like the laws more)

The problem is not jewish ppl living in Palestine because they want to live in the land of their distant ancestors, but rather taking over & oppressing everyone else.

No one would mind my dad going to live in Spain where his ancestors lived. Indeed they would probably rejoice, he is a skilled worker & pays lots of tax. But if he came with an army, rebranded the country "new Cuba", demanded that everyone speak Latin American Spanish & started oppressing the local farmers, that would be a very different issue.

Though of course I wonder how many ppl care more about special treatment & free stuff than they do about religion or "connection to the land". Many might end up going to some gated community in the USA if they have to be equal citizens with no special privileges.

[apicturewithasmile]

I posted 631 times in 2022

151 posts created (24%)

480 posts reblogged (76%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@apicturewithasmile (lol... okay)

@livenudebigfoot

@cptnjaneway

@simptasia

@greencheekconure27

I tagged 600 of my posts in 2022

Only 5% of my posts had no tags

#about me - 115 posts

#ukraine - 50 posts

#it me - 41 posts

#dilp science - 38 posts

#benjamin linus - 32 posts (glad he still made it into the top 5)

#russian invasion - 26 posts

#succession - 21 posts

#island husbands - 19 posts

#huub - 16 posts

#taskmaster - 13 posts

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

@ Queer refugees from Ukraine

If you're coming to Germany, especially Berlin, you can contact LesMigras and quarteera for support. They have Ukrainian and Russian speaking people ready to help you settle in and might be able to offer some psychological support.

You can also literally contact me personally, if you're coming to Berlin and need someone to help you with German bureaucracy and shit like that or if you just need a cup of tea and someone to show you around town.

113 notes - Posted February 27, 2022

#4

118 notes - Posted February 23, 2022

#3

This morning Russia has bombed cities all over Ukraine, including the centre of Kyiv. They are targeting critical infrastructure and civilians! It's terrorism.

Do not stay silent. Call your politicians and representatives out for not doing enough, demand more support, go to protests and donate money to the Ukrainian military, for example via United24. If you want this war to end with as few civilian casualties as possible, then it needs to end fast and the only way to achieve that is with modern weapons systems!

🇺🇦🇺🇦🇺🇦

132 notes - Posted October 10, 2022

#2

141 notes - Posted February 5, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

in case this gets drowned out in all the coverage about the parasites in chief (both the old and the new) let me be the one to tell you:

the Ukranian army is cutting through Russian defense lines like a hot knife through butter. within just a few days of their Northeast/Kharkiv counter offensive they already reached Luhansk, the easternmost region of the country. Russian troops are either abandoning their equipment and positions to run for the hills (or as Kremlin propaganda puts it “to regroup”) or they surrender en masse. finally some good fucking news!

2,408 notes - Posted September 10, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[petnews2day]

Ukrainian refugees ‘lost hope’ of coming to UK over dog hold up

New Post has been published on https://petnews2day.com/pet-industry-news/pet-travel-news/ukrainian-refugees-lost-hope-of-coming-to-uk-over-dog-hold-up/

Ukrainian refugees ‘lost hope’ of coming to UK over dog hold up

A high volume of emergency applications to process pets in the UK has left refugees feeling stranded in Europe despite having visas to come to the UK.

A Ukrainian family trying to get to Merseyside and their British sponsor have raised concerns about the system of getting pets into the country as they have struggled to organise travel for their beloved family dog.

Inna Oleksiienko and her sons Denys, 17 and Misha, 10, received visas to travel to England at the end of April after escaping a missile strike on their home town, but are still waiting in Warsaw, Poland, due to red tape around Ukrainian pet import applications.

They are currently staying in a hostel with their two-year-old Yorkshire Terrier Oscar, who they say is a member of their family they ‘could never leave’.

Ten-year-old Misha with Yorkshire Terrier Oscar.

The family have been living in a Polish hostel for three months and waiting for their pet import application for Oscar to be processed in the UK after receiving their visas a month ago.

Their Merseyside sponsor, Susan Tootill, who lives in Formby, has also been waiting for an Animal and Plant Health Agency (APHA) approved vet to give her UK home the green light to offer ‘home isolation’ to Oscar.

In March, the Department for Environment and Rural Affairs (Defra) announced that using an emergency licence, people fleeing Ukraine can bring their pets to the UK with any quarantine, vaccination and microchipping costs met by the Government.

The APHA was due to provide ‘quick licence approvals and quarantine arrangements to avoid creating additional burdens or delays’.

However, APHA said it is experiencing a ‘high volume’ of emergency licence applications for pets and due to high demand applications may take longer than usual to be processed.

Yorkshire Terrier Oscar escaped from war torn Ukraine with the Oleksiienko family. Photo: Inna Oleksiienko

‘As a sponsor you cannot help feeling responsible’

Susan Tootill and her husband Bernard, have offered Inna and her sons, along with dog Oscar, accommodation in her home and access to a large, fenced and gated garden.

She said: “I know APHA has been given a difficult job but I was gobsmacked to be told a an APHA superintendent veterinary inspector would have to check my home was suitable.

“APHA told me the requirements of licence issuing have been reached by the Ukrainian family, but it has all been held up because of the home assessment.

“My family have had their own visas a month now, and complied with all requirements for their dog because nobody wants rabies in the country.”

Mrs Tootill has had to cancel charity transport from the Ukraine to Merseyside for the family twice due to waiting on the APHA licence.

Sue Tootill in her Formby garden. Photo: Sue Tootill

She said: “As a sponsor you cannot help feeling responsible and it’s the sponsor that has to deal with giving the family the bad news that they do not want to hear. It’s very emotional as the Ukranian family want to get to a place of safety where they can hopefully settle for a while.

“We’re not the only ones this has been happening to.

“The other difficulty with the travel is also down to the narrow time allowed. The dog must travel 24 hours post tapeworm treatment – and have proof of receiving it – but no longer than 120 hours. Trying to get transport to fit with this is not easy.

“I have sent photographs of my garden to APHA.

“I was devastated when Inna said she was losing hope and that she would have to return to Ukraine, as she could not see any alternative.

“We have received a letter today from an inspector asking us for more information before a licence is issued.

“We are not giving up hope we know Inna and her family, including Oscar their Yorkshire Terrier will get here.

“My Ukrainian family’s dog complies with all regulations and APHA have admitted that the ‘hold up’ has been with them.”

Bill Esterson, Labour MP for Sefton Central and his team have been trying to help Mrs Tootill by liaising with Defra.

He said: “This looks like another example of the government putting rules in place without making sure they have the staff able to help people in a timely fashion to reach the sanctuary that they have been offered by generous people in this country.”

Escape from Ukraine

Ms Oleksiienko and her sons left their small town, Bila Tserkva, in the Kyiv region, on March 13 after a missile strike.

She said: “At the beginning of the war my children escaped to the village to their grandma. I became a volunteer in my school, where I worked as a teacher. I helped our army and with other people weaved camouflage nets.

Bila Tserkva after the missile strike. Image: Inna Oleksiienko

“But after the missile strike I decided to escape to Poland. A lot of people tried to escape with their families, but we tried and got into the train carriage.

“When we got inside there weren’t any spare place and we were sitting on our suitcases all the way to Lviv. It’s almost ten hours.

“It was a terrible experience, because we weren’t allowed to use any lights or even mobile phones, because of camouflage mode.

“Our dog was exhausted and frightened too. In the morning one of the passengers of our evacuation train came to me and said that she thought that our dog was huge because he breathed heavily.

“When we arrived we saw many women and children. They were standing in a long queue and waiting for a train to Poland. By this train we arrived to the Ukrainian-Poland border.

“We walked a really long distance with our suitcase and dog.

Inna Oleksiienko and her son Misha. Image: Inna Oleksiienko

“There were also many Ukrainian refugees and it took us about three to four hours to cross the border.

“But when we crossed the border we met Polish volunteers. They gave us food and hot tea.

“It was really moving. Then they helped us to find a bus to Warsaw. We traveled to our hostel. It was nearly midnight when we got there. We were too exhausted and tired, but we were safe.

“Volunteers gave us all necessary things and accommodation. Now we are still living in a hostel in a room without locks.

“We felt happy when we received all the visas quickly.

“We had all necessary vaccinations for our dog, microchip, blood tests. But we are still waiting for license from APHA and at one point we lost hope.

“We decided we would return to Ukraine if we didn’t get the licence because Oscar is a member of our family. We can’t travel without him.

“Our host family are really friendly and helpful people. They have done everything they can to make this process quicker. We really appreciate their help.”

Read More

An APHA spokesperson said: “We have been working through the Veterinary Delivery Partnership contractors and their network of veterinary practices in England to bolster support for home isolation visits and regular monitoring of the pet during the rabies monitoring period.

“We continue to work as quickly as possible to process Ukrainian pet import applications and will contact people as soon as their application is approved.”

What are the rules around bringing pets to the UK from Ukraine?

According to Defra and APHA, if you are from Ukraine and are seeking refuge in the UK, you can bring your pet dog, cat or ferret without it going into quarantine or isolation if it has:

been vaccinated against rabies and had a blood test 30 days later to confirm the vaccine worked, and waited 3 months after the blood test to travel to the UK

been microchipped

a pet passport or health certificate issued before you left Ukraine

had tapeworm treatment

You will need a licence to bring your pet to the UK if your pet:

does not meet all these requirements

meets these requirements, but you do not have proof that it does

has been issued with an EU pet passport since leaving Ukraine

Before travel, the APHA emails a licence form for the pet, which needs to be returned.

Depending on the pet’s vaccines, APHA may then send out a home isolation form asking about the home where the Ukrainian refugees and their pets will be staying.

The form then has to be filled in by the UK host and the Ukrainian owners.

It is at that point that APHA will email to say whether the pet needs to go into quarantine, isolation kennels or home isolation when it arrives in the UK and will email a licence.

Quarantine for pets from Ukraine can be up to four months as it is an ‘unlisted country’ for rabies.

The APHA said pets are being considered on a ‘case by case basis’ and that that home isolation requires the home to meet a very high standard of requirements including ensuring that the pet cannot escape, that there is no risk to other animals or to people, whilst also providing acceptable welfare needs.

[noesa]

Oh. Dear listeners, I have just received word that the Target employees have successfully performed a ritual to summon the Dread Powers into our humble plane of existence. Um, let’s see... all running water has been replaced with cockroaches, an army of mannequin clowns is marching on the town from all directions, and the sun has been replaced with a great eye that watches all and understands none. So, not too different from a typical Thursday afternoon.

Ah, it appears that all across the city, people are being abducted from their homes and offices and bloodstone circles by the Dread Powers, to be placed in whatever hellscape would cause them the most suffering. There does not seem to be any stopping them - even as we speak, a thick fog has blanketed the studio, and I am gripped by the fear that already no one can hear me and I am all alone, projecting my voice out into an empty world. So, in the face of this imminent disaster, before we are all lost to our own personalized domains of torment, I give you... the weather.

[musical interlude]

Well. Dear listeners, given that you are listening to this broadcast and not trapped within an unending nightmare, it would seem the Dread Powers... have been defeated.

During the break, our very own Tamika Flynn successfully performed a counter-ritual to seal the Dread Powers into a Foot Locker size 10 shoebox. When asked for comment, she said she learned what to do when an eldritch entity tries to cross over into your world by reading Field Guide to the Birds of North America by Roger Tory Peterson. She then sealed the shoebox in a 20 foot cube of concrete and buried it in an unmarked location in the desert, which - by pure coincidence - just so happened to be the same unmarked location in the desert where we buried the statue of the Apache Tracker several years ago.

The Target employees were gently kettled into an unmarked black vehicle, which then took them to an undisclosed location, no doubt to be given a stern talking to on the dangers of summoning unknowable gods that feed on human fear.

In other news, the Target is now hiring! If you like to work for a fun employer who values every part of you - your creativity, your spatial awareness, your hands, your teeth, your knowledge of Ukranian folk dances, your teeth, your teeth, your teeth - come down to the local Target! Each interview comes with a complementary dental exam!

[gardenerian]

More Milkovich sibs because I love them!!!

They actually celebrate thanksgiving

Yes, really

Terry liked to eat, so thanksgiving is a Milkovich tradition.

Everyone gets wasted. They eat whatever they have. Everyone gets fucking wasted

The Gallagher's join the tradition, and once Terry is dead Mickey's siblings come back to town each year

It's the first time the Gallagher's have seen Mickey interact with his siblings on this scale, and he greets Iggy and Colin by tackling them down the stairs for not coming to his wedding

Iggy and Colin just laugh and wrestle with him and then scoop him over their shoulders because this is their baby brother and he's not covered in bruises, he's healthy and happy and wearing a wedding ring

The rest of the night is just as fun and crazy

At one point a game of Monopoly is started because someone (lip) wants to see how the Milkovichs handle it

People nearly die

Ousins pop up throughout the night, Lou gets punched in the face

The night ends with Mickey getting hoisted up by his brothers and drunkenly singing in ukranian

I love Milkovich siblings expect more of these I sure hope you got the first one

“people almost die” absolutely took me out 😭 that’s so funny and i believe it 100% 😭 but gosh yes i love the idea of the siblings reuniting and finding some common ground. now that they’re able to openly care about each other and know each other fully. and i’d love to see ian and mickey both trying to manage their families at the same time. the comedic potential is impeccable!!! them singing together 🥺

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Mod: this is a bit of a big topic for a doll blog, and to be clear I sympathize with all those who are affected, and all those who do not want this to be happening. We do have readers and hobbyists and artists from all over the world in the hobby, and everyone is affected indirectly or directly by this so I think this is OK to discuss here since we will all have seen how this affected people within the community.

This anon is directing the post towards a user, I think assuming they are from the US, I opened the comments to one of the supportive confessions when this news first broke awhile back, and the user they are directing this towards is in fact Ukrainian, living in Ukraine.

My policy on this blog is if your country is currently being invaded, I don't expect you to have thoughtful and reasoned views about your invaders and you're free to vent whatever you want in the comments. Obviously those of us who are not in current danger can be rational and considerate, but I don't think it's fair to expect, in this example a Ukranian person to be sympathetic to soldiers who are commiting war crimes, the ordinary citizens are not the people they're dealing with and the comments will come from that perspective, versus those of us in Western countries who have the emotional bandwidth to consider all those who are affected. Citizens don't choose what their government do and shouldn't be blamed for their actions, as this anon points out, but in the case of being currently under attack that will not be at the forefront of your mind.

I also agree with this anon that we are already seeing a bias emerging due to all this, and this is unfair to innocent citizens, however please consider the readers here are from all over the world and not just the US and that will make a difference to their perspectives on events.

CW: War discussion

the shit imp saying in https://the-bjd-community-confess.tumblr.com/post/682547892762886144 is seriously xenophobic. I'm a russian in the USA and the shit theyre spouting is literally 1:1 to what I heard from the "russians are bad!" kind of people. The kind that throw things at you, bully you, say hurtful things, once they find out you're russian in the USA. Russians ARE hurt by the government in this. They always have been. Even when Stalin was alive, he single-handedly has the world's largest kill-count he's responsible for, and majority of those he killed, were his own people. Only 10 years ago Putin let Russian's  several mafia groups essentially run the city. It was normal to have "fees" youd pay at bus stops and trains to the mafia so they wouldn't mug you. And now, I still have family in Russia and if you compared it to the social climate from 10-20 years ago nothing changed. 

I find it disgusting that you weaponize Putin as word for majority of the Russian people when majority do not share his views. Hell, before I lost contact with my uncle in Russia his neighbor got jailed- because another neighbor ratted him out that he shared "Anti-Government Sentiment". And yes, there are people who actually support Putin, but there are also many that are pressured to say they support them in order not to literally go under investigation or jailed- and the government needs literally NO proof to jail you over there. 

Ukraine is facing terrible things because of Putin, and so are the Russian people. Putin does not care about his people, and his sentiment is similar to Stalin's, where during the war Stalin allowed his soldiers to ransack russian civilian's homes for food, and allowed many r*pes, injuries, and murders to happen from his soldiers without repercussions. Even worse in other countries that were under the rule of Russia- like the area that is now the Republic of Moldova, which the Russian government forced most of the villages and towns to go into a FAMINE in order supply food to their soldiers. Places like Moldova had literal pits in their towns to throw dead bodies because so many people died of starvation and disease because of this and they didnt have enough time and strength to make graves. And this was only ~50 years ago. Russia is a communist country though, so many people knew of these things, but the government covered majority of it up to the outside and newer generations. Russia lost the war, but it won against it's people and the surrounding area. 

Russians and more have literally suffered from Putin and past dictators more than you imagine. and you villainizing Russians for literally existing is disgusting. More disgusting that you're speaking this from a place of ignorance and refuse to understand the situation. I pray for Ukraine and all the other eastern European countries, but I also pray for Russians in Russia at the moment. I hope people stay educated because the "anti-russia" sentiment is spreading, and in the USA at least it's becoming, "anti-russians" instead. So now we have old men who hate russians because of ww2 hating us, and now we have the youth in the USA also hating us falsely. 

Hate the russians that support Russia. Hate the government of Russia. Hate Putin that is making this all happen. But leave Russians who are most likely victims in all this alone.

I'm sorry since this is off-topic to bjds. But seeing the growing sentiment around this in the community is really disheartening and scary. 

~Anonymous

[gabenathreversebang]

GabeNath Reverse Bang 2020 Masterpost

Lady in Blue

When Gabriel akumatizes Audrey again, it goes awry and backfires on him. When he, Ladybug and Chat Noir are compromised, Nathalie decides it’s time for her to take matters into her own hands.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Changing Hearts and Changing Tides

The Agreste boys and their plus one, Nathalie, have decided to spend the week in a cabin by the coast. While Gabriel tries to mend his fractured relationship with Adrien, Nathalie is more or less there to keep the peace, but she soon finds herself out of her depth. With emotions shifting as frequently as the tide can the trio band together and take strides towards the future, or will they be swept out to sea and left hanging?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Your Sword and Shield

The last time the Graham de Vanilys showed up to the Agreste mansion, they proved they are not to be trusted. Nathalie should have known Amelie would go to treacherous lengths to get under her skin. After a tense confrontation and the shocking reveal of a new villain, Nathalie must step into a new role to protect the one she loves.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

A Moment of Reflection

After a particularly upsetting defeat, Gabriel is feeling like it might be time to throw in the butterfly brooch and move on. Nathalie tries to encourage him to continue but even she has some reservations about the idea. The two have a heart to heart over some brandy and learn things about each other.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

well, of course i’ve tried lavender

K O E L N @archekoeln you think, i didn’t know mayura was the type to resort to something like this? but you’re wrong, because now you’re being carried like a sack of potatoes above paris and, 3/11

K O E L N @archekoeln well, the view’s nice and all but you’re also in the arms of a villain??? 4/11

K O E L N @archekoeln you also think, how is she so strong??? because you know you aren’t as light as a feather (haha i’m funny) and her arms are skinny af, but you know, magic i guess 5/11

or

An online thread about Mayura sparks something in Gabriel. And as her boss (and friend, and villainous partner, and her something), isn’t it his job to… to do what exactly? Well, even he doesn’t know.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

Superheroes, in daily life, usually remained hidden. Men and women, bestowed with god-like powers, living among those whose only powers remained in their knowledge and talents. One of these heroes was Mayura, a peacock-themed superheroine with the power to create new life. As more laborers were going on strike, Mayura’s efforts to keep the economy from deflating were more crucial than ever. Because of her, livelihoods were kept intact for the destitute. For the corporate overlords, however, she was the bane of their luxurious existence. But what does this mean to Gabriel Agreste?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Broken Arrow

Ordinary innkeeper Nathalie is plagued with visions of a captive Gabriel, begging for help. She sets out to recruit his son Adrien, the Demigod of Love, to aid her in freeing Gabriel from Emilie, the goddess of beauty. But Nathalie doesn’t know the secret that Adrien keeps from her that may tear them all apart.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Gabriel’s Inferno

Nothing seemed to predict how it all would end, and yet it had to have been obvious. It had been weeks since Mayura’s last appearance and he didn’t even let her go out to fight in person, but a broken miraculous doesn’t get carried away by precautions once it’s activated. With Nathalie balancing between life and death, Gabriel will have the opportunity to fix things or lose himself forever in a hellish battle that will overcome all nightmares.

Fanfic (English), archived Fanfic (Spanish), archived Art, archived

If I Could Turn Back Time

Gabriel and Nathalie obtain the rabbit miraculous and travel into the paths of time as Velveteen and Mayura, with the goal of preventing the chain of events that would lead to Emilie’s death. But on their way to Tibet, they encounter surprising visions of possible futures that leave them questioning what is possible and what they really want.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

This is Hallowe’en

With All Hallow’s Eve hanging over their heads, the Agreste household gets wrapped into celebrating Samhain. With Gabriel and Adrien following Nathalie’s knowledgeable path, they can not fail, probably. This moderately functional family will honor Emilie Agreste in the best ways they can.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Malleable Fates

A red thread starts materializing around Gabriel’s finger nearly two decades after he’s already found his soulmate. As he and Nathalie devise a faultless plan to finally win Ladybug and Chat Noir’s miraculous and bring back his wife, Gabriel fights the onslaught of confusing feelings brought about the mysterious reappearance of his soulmate string - including the sneaking suspicion that his soulmate maybe isn’t who she used to be.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Splintered Soul Staring Back At Me

In the aftermath of the battle and a brief hospital stay, Nathalie is safe at home. Her recovery has been a bit stagnant, but she’s been granted leave from work and the miraculous is finally fixed. Things can only go up from here, right?

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

With the Flap of a Butterfly’s Wing

It only took one little thing, the barest of moments, for Duusu to feel their love, and decide that they had to do something about it. Which was how Duusu ended up roping Nooroo into trying everything under the sun to match up their two stubborn holders.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Orders He Defies

After her husband’s death, Nathalie Sancoeur fell into deep despair. Determined to bring him back, she set her goal on obtaining the Black Cat and Ladybug miraculous, using the power of her own one. All her attempts for the last year, however, were futile. Should she remain careful? Or should she let it all burn, as her assistant Gabriel suggests she should? And is the goal even worth its price?

Fanfic (English), archived Fanfic (Ukranian), archived Art, archived

Royal Pain

Nathalie liked to think that she would make a pretty good king. If she had been born as the opposite sex, anyways. But as the facts were, Princess Nathalie Sancoeur had a duty thrust upon her that she would rather have not, all things considered: to be married to a foreign prince, in order to bring good fortune to her family and kingdom, and bolster their strength should the rapidly-cooling relations with one of the neighboring countries turn into a full-blown war. It was enough to make her gag every time she thought of it.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Dancing on Broken Glass

It was Lila that almost reduced Paris to rubble.It was that conflict that caused an irreversible change to two miraculous holders.It was that change that brought them together.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Anagnorisis

«Define Hubris»

Gabriel never considered how much a Deus Ex Machina would cost.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Worth

It’s been seventeen years since Nathalie and Gabriel sat in the cramped studio working hard to get the brand off the ground, and now he can’t help but reflect on those long-forgotten years.

Before Emilie. Before Adrien. Before the money and fame.

As he looks at her across his desk… he wonders if it was all worth it.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

A Witch’s Desire

Gabriel Agreste was a peculiar man, who was known around town both as a famous fashion designer and a powerful witch who was able to read and control minds, though he never used that second power unless there was a real emergency. Heck, he barely even used the first. But after losing his wife, Gabriel becomes desperate to do anything he can to bring her back, even that means using his powers for evil, or tracking down a mysterious powerful witch who had disappeared many years ago, with the power to bring the dead back to life.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Not a Minute of Peace

Even though the akuma wants to shackle them, the Collector and Catalyst have more freedom than Gabriel and Nathalie ever had. They may be criminals turned into prey, but they enjoy the hunt. There is only one thing they are running from.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Revision

Nathalie made the wish.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

The Woman With The Golden Feathers

The annual Bourgeois masquerade comes at the right time for Gabriel. In a moment of personal uncertainty after his discreet divorce, he will find the possible answer in a mysterious lady with golden feathers.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Time and Time Again

The stress of being a young designer trying to make it in the fashion industry is taking its toll, and Gabriel’s and Nathalie’s marriage is slowly unraveling.

They’ve stood the tests of life since their first year of university, but when everything comes crashing down, Gabriel finds himself stuck reliving the day it happened. Failing and falling, time and time again with every passing ‘day’. Why is he here? How can he stop it? The answer lies in a choice as to what matters more: his career or the woman who has stood by him through it all.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

Clarity

A year after Hawkmoth’s surrender, Gabriel asks Nathalie to join him to gaze at the stars. While she waits for him, she contemplates the empty space left by the removal of the portrait from the foyer hall. Growth ensues for them both as they learn to just be by each other’s side.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

C’est la Vie; C’est le Ballet

After the death of his wife, upstart choreographer Gabriel Agreste is looking for a new star for his ballet, Miraculous. Hard to please and willing to do whatever it takes for the sake of the show, none of the auditionees fit his artistic vision…

…except Nathalie, a former prima ballerina turned ballet instructor. She’s stoic and very dedicated to her craft, but there’s a reason she stopped performing four years ago and it has dangerous potential.

Through the trials and triumphs and betrayals that run hand in hand with the world of ballet, Gabriel and Nathalie begin to find something more in each other’s company, and perhaps the seeds of new beginnings.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

I’m Praying (There’s Saving)

It was to be Gabriel’s first party on Olympus, but little did he know it would also be the last. Not only for him, but for everyone. In the blink of an eye everything changed, sending the god of nature and his newborn son to take refuge with the Queen of the Dead. They thought they were safe, but even the depths of the underworld couldn’t escape the King’s wrath forever.

Fanfic, archived Art, archived

[firstrenegaderp]

NEIGHBORHOOD GUIDE ✨

chicago has 77 officially designated defined community areas with over 200 different specific neighborhoods. obviously that would be too much to try and figure out and navigate on our own, so we have simplified things up for you a bit. feel free to use this as a stepping off point to research when determining which neighborhood your character resides in. you can go as specific as you'd like, or simply just state which side your character resides in (ie: north side). please do not hesitate to reach out if you have any questions!

CENTRAL LOOP ✨

the first (and busiest) area is known as the central or loop area. this includes near north side, the loop, and near south side. this is the chicago that most people see when they think about the windy city. it's home to the iconic michigan avenue (aka the magnificent mile), full of high end retail stores and boutiques and is always busy with tourists and residents alike to get their shopping needs met. it's known as the loop due to being surrounded by elevated train tracks that surround it, with trains running every 5-7 minutes during peak rush hour moments (if there isn't a delay, of course). while walking through the loop, you'll find iconic skyscrapers, the bean, millenium park, and all the beautiful big buildings that you recognize when you think of chicago. of course, the beauty comes with a price: living in this area is also the most expensive, due to the amount of high rises and beautiful scenic views from the condos. if you have the means to live here, it's beautiful but costs a pretty penny.

popular neighborhoods: gold coast, river north, river west, south loop, streeterville, west loop

NORTH SIDE ✨

the next area is known as the north side. this is the most densely populated residential area in the city and is made up primarily of a middle and upper class demographic. it stretches all along lake michigan to the edge of the northern city limits of evanston, providing a ton of beautiful beaches and parks that many people enjoy running alongside in the morning. you will also find the iconic wrigley field in the north side, home to the chicago cubs. during game days, the north side goes all out with both residents and outside visitors taking over the streets and public transit. it's also home to notable neighborhoods such as boystown (the first officially recognized gay village in the united states) and lincoln park (one of the most affluent chicago neighborhoods and home to the free lincoln park zoo, open 365 days out of the year). most of your typical chicago residents call the north side their home.

popular neighborhoods: andersonville, edgewater, lakeview, lincoln park, ravenswood, rogers park, uptown

WEST SIDE ✨

the west side is home to some of the most important historical, cultural, and ideological histories of the city. the ethnic and socioeconomic make up has changed drastically throughout history, as the west side has historic roots as it was a primary gateway into the city for immigrants and migrants. today, the west side continues to change due to gentrification and socioeconomic changes within chicago and currently has a large african american, puerto riccan, and mexican community as well as communities of polish, italian, czech, russian jewish, and greek families. the university of illinois chicago is located here, as well as the iconic united center which is home to the chicago bulls, chicago blackhawks, and venue to many large concerts. the illinois medical district is also located in the west side, one of the countries largest urban medical districts to date. as it stands, the west side is primarily made up of a majority middle class, working class, and low income families.

popular neighborhoods: austin, east village, garfield park, humboldt park, noble square, ukranian village, west town

SOUTH SIDE ✨

the south side of chicago is the final stop and is the largest of the three "sides" and covers over 50% of the city's land area alone. the south side originally included the central and loop area, but with the expansion of the loop, it became a separate entity. the south side was home to many factories, steel mills, and meat-packing plants in the 1800s, and many of the large buildings remain. the south side has a large ethnic composition and boasts a large array of cultural and social offerings. over 93% of residents in the south side identify as african american from recent census tracts. the south side is also home to chicago's chinatown area, where over a third of chicago's chinese population resides and is one of the largest areas of chinese people in the united states. another iconic location within the near south side is soldier field, the home of the chicago bears and many outdoor large concerts, as well as the chicago white sox stadium. the south side is primarily home to lower-middle class, lower class, and blue collar working families. the south side also holds a reputation for high crime rates, though recent gentrification and changes in demographics have led to more variation in socioeconomic classes and crime.

popular neighborhoods: archer heights, bridgeport, bronzeville, chinatown, englewood, hyde park, kenwood, pilsen, university village

[adrianfernandez-blog2]

We're all in this together amidst COVID-19 Pandemic

“But we will bounce back, arms stronger with vision and faith, that after darkness, after pains and sufferings, the Filipino survives, the Filipino is resilient.” (The Resiliency of a Filipino, William G. Bacani)

Filipinos’ resilience is indeed undisputable. We had been tested since then with various wars, colonization, natural disasters, and other wearisome phenomena. Yet, here we are, standing victorious amidst all.

The year 2020 has harshly opened with tremendous and challenging circumstances around the globe. This extra-superficial happening isn’t observed in the Philippine setting alone, but to some countries as well. Conspiracies emerge so as to explain the surprising coincidences of connected tragedies worldwide. Australian wildfires, Iran-US conflict, Taal volcano eruption, Ukranian plane crash, Kobe Bryant’s demise, and Novel Coronavirus outbreak are just some from January (PhilNews, 2020).

In this personal blog of mine, we will just focus on the most prevailing issue - COVID-19 in the Philippines.

I. Legislative Framework

The PH government nowadays is in strict implementation of the Enhanced Community Quarantine in the entire island of Luzon. Luzon-wide pause started last March 17, 2020 and firstly planned to end on April 15, 2020. But with the guidance of experts, it was then extended until 30th of April, 11:59 post meridiem. With such mandate, transactions among people whether economic or mere travel with friends were banned.

With the virtue of Republic Act no. 11469 or “Bayanihan to Heal as One Act” enacted by both Senate and House of Representatives and duly approved by his Excellency President Rodrigo R. Duterte last March 24, 2020, the national government continue to steer local government units to ensure the well-being of their respective constituencies.

II. The IATF-EID

In the attempt of systematizing the execution of plans, the Inter-Agency Task Force on Emerging Infectious Diseases (IAFT-EID) was created. Headed by the Department of Health, the council with its members collectively plan for the implementation of the proposed solutions towards the disease and augments the needs of the public.

Their functions as stated in Section 2 of EXECUTIVE ORDER No. 168 are as follow:

a) Establish a system to identify, screen, and assist Filipinos suspected or confirmed to be infected with EID;

b) Prevent and/or minimize the entry of suspected or confirmed patients with EID into the country. This should include rigid screening and identification of EID suspects, and the institutionalization of surveillance, alert, and quarantine system in all ports of entry;

c) Prevent and/or minimize the local spread of EID in the country through the establishment or reinforcement of a system in screening possible patients infected with EID, contact tracing, identification of the mode of exposure to the virus, and implementation of effective quarantine and proper isolation procedures;

d) Prevent and/or minimize mortality through effective clinical management by capacitating healthcare facilities, government and private medical practitioners, healthcare workers, and-public safety enforcers;

e) Educate the public on EID and its prevention, control and management to promote positive health behaviors, and address public fear and anxiety through the conduct of a nationwide EID awareness campaign;

f) Adopt measures to strengthen the Emerging and Re-Emerging Infectious Diseases Program of the DOH or its equivalent in other local health units;

g) Notify the WHO of the EID cases in the country and its assessment of the EID situation;

h) Submit to the Office of the President regular status reports in the monitoring of EID;

i) Formulate, develop, implement, and oversee the EID Preparedness Manual for the prevention and control of EID; and

j) Perform such other functions and activities as may be necessary to carry out the provisions of this Order, or as the President may direct.

III. Local Implementation in Municipalities and Barangays

Municipalities uniquely aid their citizens thru the efforts done by their local officials. With the funds allocated to them, they are expected to be assisting their constituents get the necessities in expense of their job suspension. Almost all workers are prohibited from their jobs thereby affecting their purchase for living. Thus, the role played by the government in this quest is really serious and of much importance.

In our town for example, our Mayor was able to allocate funds from the Calamity or Emergency Fund of the municipality. Rice, sardines, biscuits, and instant noodles are the cliché of the tragedy. Every household is granted a home quarantine pass and relief stub for the systematic processing of distribution. Strict curfew hours were implemented round the clock and only those with home passes (quarantine pass) and proper personal protective equipment (PPE) are allowed to go outside. Businesses offering basic necessities such as stores, pharmacies, and the same were allowed to operate on regulated hours. Barangay officials are seen occasionally securing the implementation and observance of the national law.

It is expected that thru the course of the ECQ, the local government units will continue to supply its people means for their living. In these paralyzed times, their oath as a public servant is put into test.

IV. Citizens’ Cry

“We cannot please everybody” – a famous adage commonly uttered by officials on test. The crisis is definitely a dilemma for all – for families, government officials, workers, students, and the entire Filipino people. Yet, public officials have no escape door to arrive at when it comes to their response to the situation.

There are numerous complaints about the inequality in relief distribution, obviously observed on populous cities of Metro Manila and nearby provinces. Having big family size, an unstable job, and incompetent financial planning, the government is not to be blamed by this unexpected pandemic. Two sides are clashing – the public crying for aid and the government playing for fair.

Government officials, given the biggest benefit of the doubt, is really challenged in allocating supplies for their people. With a big population, it is really not a joke to apportion food unto them. With a constricted budget, they are forced to segment and schedule the distribution to be fair with everybody. It was like pursuing the law of the mean – to at least touch every square of its territory with aid.

On the other hand, comes the revolution of the poor, the cry of the “oppressed”. They expect for the government to give life to them, in the expense of their job suspension. The Constitution is really clear with provisions that the State shall protect the good of its people, but it does not provide claims for dependence among citizen.

At the end of the day, this is not a blame game. We should be one in this fight. The Filipino people has been tested with time – let us be one again in prayer, amidst this COVID-19 crisis.

Some of the relief goods we received from the company of my eldest brother in the middle of Enhanced Community Quarantine.

Learn more about COVID-19:

[granny-griffin]

tumbling forward we spin on 4/4

“I'm an accidental fish.”

[hey you! read Part One first]

[also Part Two and Part Three]

[ok now you can read this]

They came to Tomorrow at an awkward time.

They landed on the west side of the island in a bog, which was difficult. From there, Timothy led them eastward, which meant they had to walk uphill. Avariya was breathless—but she couldn't tell if it was from the exercise or the flight. The brightness had been hot up there, without the clouds and the smoke in the way. It was hard to breathe in the sky. There was too much air. The wind caught in her mouth and choked her throat and filled her up with laughing. She'd been on a rollercoaster before—it was like that in the way a recipe is like an apple pie. She could acknowledge the technical similarity, but it wasn't the same.

They passed scattered ruins. A crumbling wall crowned the top of the hill. They came around it to a space where a gate must have hung at one point—and Death-Shade immediately drew his wing over them, shoving them to the ground in the process. Avariya would have been indignant—she had mud all over her knees—if not for the funny feeling in her spine. Something wasn't right.

In a moment, the scales on the underside of Death-Shade's wing shifted to reveal the courtyard beyond. Avariya gasped—it was like looking through a pane of glass. Yet somehow she knew that anyone looking towards them from the other side would only see the empty slope they had just crested.

It was a good thing, since the courtyard was filled with hundreds of dragons.

They were scattered across the ruins of whatever town had once grown up inside the walls— perched on crumbling roofs and towers or nestled into patches of grass that peeped up through the cobblestones. All of them faced a silver dragon that sat on the edge of the courtyard before them.

Avariya and the others sat in perfect silence as, one by one, the dragons came up to the courtyard and spoke to all the rest. It was a rather orderly gathering, but even Avariya, who didn't understand a word of it, could feel the tension in the air. It seemed to her that at any moment the smallest thing could set them off into chaos. She had to keep reminding herself to breathe.

"The silver one is called Ghost," Timothy whispered, "He's in charge of this council."

"What are they talking about?" Avariya whispered back.

"Us," he responded, "The humans, I mean. They thought we were gone. That's why they woke up. Now they're trying to decide what to do. Some of them think they should go back to the sea for another thousand years and wait for all of us to die off on our own. Others don't want to sleep any more. They want to live again, humans or not. And then...a lot of them think...they think that this is all a trick. That the humans pretended to leave in order to draw them out and destroy them. They want to strike us down before we have a chance to carry out whatever plan we might have."

"The ships left a year ago," she responded, "They think we would wait this long if we meant to attack? They'd better not, we'd never stand against them."

"Dragons live a long time. A year is pretty short for them. And a lot of them just woke up."

"Timothy—remember why I came with you?"

He nodded. "You're here to remind me to—"

Avariya grabbed his arm and dragged him out from under Death-Shade's wing and through the gate. Timothy was too startled to offer any resistance—and so was everyone else. They made it all the way to the courtyard where the silver dragon sat.

Then the sky was eclipsed by a gaping maw. Avariya shrieked and drew her sword. The mouth drew back, and she realized that there was only a slightly large grey-blue dragon standing in front of her. She must have interrupted his speech.

"Wait—wait no!" she cried, throwing her sword down on the ground. It clattered across the cobblestones. Most of the dragons were still frozen in the shock of the moment, but the silver dragon—that's right, his name was Ghost—stood and crept towards them. He looked over at the sword for a moment, then up at Avariya and Timothy.

"We—we come in peace!" Avariya continued, "Timothy, you— "

"qlweijoewrhjkvcnmasdaoiwqemklxmlxzs!" Timothy yelled.

Ghost stopped where he was, but Avariya couldn't tell if it was because of Timothy's translation or because Death-Shade had just materialized behind them.

Avariya cleared her throat. "We're here to speak for humanity." She nodded towards Timothy.

He turned to face her. "What does your name mean?"

Avariya scrunched up her brow. "What does that have to do with anything?" she whispered, "We're in a bit of a situation!"

"Dragon names always mean something," Timothy explained, "I have to know what your name means so that I can introduce you."

"Just make something up," Avariya said.

Timothy shook his head. "They'll find out later and think we're rude. We need to not be offensive. Tell me—quick, before I lose their attention!"

Suddenly, Avariya's mind was in another place—a world that had long ago been destroyed. Once upon a time, sitting on a ragged couch as the rain drummed against the windowpane behind them, her mother had told her the story of her birth.

Her parents hadn't intended to have a child. Because of her, Da proposed and Mum moved to England. And with the move and the wedding and the pregnancy, the two of them never sat down to figure out a name.

It was in the hospital, immediately after she was born, that her parents realized their predicament. But in their exhaustion, they both drew a total blank. They sat in dead silence for a moment, trying to come up with anything remotely passable for a child's name, and in the quiet they heard Mum's Mum, Avariya's Ukranian grandmother, whispering quietly to herself as she held her newest grandchild in her arms.

"Avariya," she crooned, "My tiny, perfect Avariya."

Her parents picked the name immediately. It was only afterwards that they discovered what it meant.

"Accident," Avariya said, finding herself back in the present, "Avariya Haddock. I'm an accidental fish."

Timothy looked away from the crouching dragons, suddenly distracted from the possibility of their imminent death. "What was that?"

"I'm an accidental—"

"No, I heard you," Timothy said, "I just mean—"

"Oh come on," Avariya groaned, "You make fun of my hair, and now you have to make fun of my name? Right now?"

"That's not what I—"

"Just translate it!"

Timothy spun around and said something to Ghost. For a moment he didn't reply. The crowd of dragons around them fidgeted and whispered amongst themselves. Then Ghost responded to Timothy. They had a short interchange, and when Avariya couldn't stand the tension any more, Timothy turned to speak to her.

"Ghost is going to allow you to speak to the council," he said, "I'll need you to pause every so often so that I can translate for you."

"I—okay, I can do that," Avariya said, "Tell them—tell Ghost that I'm thankful for his kindness."

"I already did," Timothy said, "Just start talking—I can make you sound polite."

"Oh. Thanks."

She looked up at the surrounding crowd of dragons. Everything was quiet. Everyone was looking at her. The wind was howling lonely through the ruined town. She took a deep breath.

"You are half right," she said, "Many of my kind have left this planet. We were ready, but not all the way. We couldn't take everybody.

"So the strongest and the smartest and the richest of us went—because they could. They left the others behind.

"I was one of the strong ones. I could have left, but I didn't. I couldn't leave the other's. That's—it's evil!

"It's evil to ignore what other people need just to get what you want. And a world where safety is bought through evil isn't worth living in.

"I've heard the old stories. Timothy's been telling me some. Once a boy stood here with the power to destroy dragons forever and save humanity and he didn't use it.

"Dragons live a long time. I know that you remember this. Now we are reversed—will you deny us the same mercy?"

When Timothy finished the final translation there was silence for a moment. Then the dragons started whispering again—the whispers grew to full fledged voices—and now the council was in danger of dissolving into complete chaos.

"I will speak!" someone called out over the din, "You asked me to—you have all been asking and—and I am ready now."

Avariya gasped. It was a dragon's voice—speaking it's own language. She could hear the harsh syllables with her own ears. But something was whispering over that, into the back of her mind, telling her what the words meant.

She could see the speaker now. He was smaller than Death-Shade but bigger than Avariya, and he was green—at least, he might have been before he had been covered over in barnacles. She could just make out the color through the creases in the crustaceans. Without waiting for Ghost to approve his request, he walked straight into the middle of the courtyard and began to speak. Nobody moved to stop him.

"Once I did everything in confidence," the barnacled dragon began, "but now that I am a little older my eyes see clearer and I'm hardly sure of anything."

Without warning, he looked down into Avariya's eyes. She had never looked into the eyes of a dragon before. It made her feel a little sick, but somehow she couldn't turn away.

"Girl," the dragon continued, "when I look at you, I see your life, and your father's life, and your father's father's life, all the way back to your ancestors in the past, when the world was young and I flew for the first time. It is always the same! When evil rises, good rises to stop it, and evil rises to stop that. We are like fall and spring, rising and falling and tumbling forward we spin on—and I am not sure who will end on top, or if it will ever end at all—but one thing I know. I would rather die fighting for a good world than live in an evil one."

He turned back to the crowds. "You are dismissed for now—come back tomorrow after you have thought over these things."

They were all still at first. Then, one by one, they stood and began to take off into the sky. Avariya released a breath she didn't know she had been holding. This had all been her idea, but she had still been half sure that they were going to get eaten in the process. The barnacle dragon approached them and struck up a conversation with Death-Shade, but she was too relieved to pay attention to it.

"That green one—he has teeth now," Timothy said nervously.

Avariya raised an eyebrow, "Did he not before?"

Just then, the barnacled dragon turned to her. "You, the accidental one—walk with me for a moment."

"He wants you to go with him," Timothy said, apparently unaware that Avariya had understood, "I think you should. He's one of Death-Shade's friends, he won't hurt you. And you wouldn't know this, but he spoke in your favor before the council just now."

Avariya nodded her assent, but she stopped to pick up her sword before she left. The two of them walked up to the edge of the ruins where the cliff face fell into the sea.

"Why did everyone listen to you," Avariya blurted.

"I'm a sea dragon," the barnacled dragon said, "I have their respect."

"How come I can understand you?"

"I'm a sea dragon. I'm telepathic."

Avariya crossed her arms, but it was more from the cold than frustration. "This is confusing."

"It confuses me," the dragon said, "I'm thousands of years old, but I wasn't aging for most of it. I only woke from hibernation a few days ago. However, that's beside the point—I'm very interested in you, small one. Where did you get that sword—"

"Death-Shade wanted to know that too," she interrupted.

"How did you know we had gathered here?" he continued, "And most of all, what is your plan? What are you going to do next?"

Avariya shrugged. "Wait and find out if the dragons are going to kill us all? I don't even know how I got here, much less where I'm going now. Have any suggestions?"

The dragon turned to look out at the horizon. "Girl with a name I once loved," he murmured, "you will always have a home with me."

The End

[amplesalty]

Christmas 2019: Day 4 - A Very Harold & Kumar 3D Christmas (2011)

On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me...

Four rounds of sliders!

So, turns out I had the title of this movie wrong, it’s not just A Harold & Kumar Christmas, it’s a 3D Christmas! Which also answers the question of where we go from the second movie, apparently out goes all that racism and in comes just so, so many shots of things flying at the camera.

It’s 2011 by this point, have we not left all this in the past? Hell, they were doing this in House of Wax when I watched that last year and that was back in the 50’s. To their credit, they do poke fun at the whole 3D thing at times, like near the start Harold’s assistant brings in a big ass TV meant as a present for Harold’s father in law. Harold questions if the whole 3D thing hasn’t jumped the shark by now but his assistant disagrees, exclaiming that it’s going to be ‘amazing’ as he points down the camera for emphasis. Harold just dryly asks who he’s looking at.

Harold has been moving up in the world it seems, now a very successful businessman on Wall Street. Unfortunately this comes during the whole ‘Occupy Wallstreet’ movement and the streets outside his office is lined with protesters wanting to eat the rich. Perhaps with a side of eggs which they throw at him by way of the camera lens.

Like a good soldier though, his assistant steps into the line of fire and takes a barrage of eggs to the face. RIP in peace. They have this whole musical sting whilst it’s happening, I feel like this has to be referencing something but I’m not sure what, war movies aren’t my thing.

Harold’s father in law by the way is played by non other than Danny Trejo, which is a rather scary thought. Trying to impress the father in law is bad enough without factoring that into the equation. He’s predisposed to disliking Harold as well given that his mother was killed by a bunch of Korean street thugs when she came over to America.

We learn that in his youth, Mr Perez dreamed of celebrating Christmas with a Christmas tree but would never get his wish. It was only upon reaching America that his mother promised they would have one every year, only for his life to be cut short. That’s why he holds this season and Christmas trees in particular in such high esteem. We also learn that apparently he was born with his moustache, which honestly wouldn’t surprise me with Danny Trejo. Also, someone being viciously murdered by street thugs seems a bit dark for this franchise.

Speaking of facial hair, Kumar is still a layabout bum who got kicked out of medical school for failing a drugs test. I do dig the beard though. Vanessa has left him though and he lives in filth with a neighbor who rents out his bathroom to let homeless people take a shit. So yeah, little bit of a mismatch on how our two heroes lives panned out over the last 7 years. I’m digging the beard though, but he promptly shaves it off under the pretense of trying to finally mature somewhat when he finds out Vanessa is pregnant.

Although, he is a little distracted during this revelation by the unfolding scenes of A Christmas Story and Flick getting his tongue stuck to the flagpole. Clearly an Xbox man as well, seemingly playing some Crackdown and Gears of War recently. This isn’t like that time I kept seeing It’s A Wonderful Life everywhere, is it? I’m not going to start having A Christmas Story pop up in all these movies, am I?

H&K are reuinited for the first time in two years when a package turns up at Kumar’s apartment addressed to Harold, which turns out to be a massive joint. Kumar lights up, only for Harold to play narc and throw it out of the window. Miraciously though, it curves around and flies back in a different window, lighting up Mr Perez’s Christmas tree and nearly burning down the whole house. This only reinforces what a negative influence on Harold’s life Kumar is and it looks like our duo are going their separate ways again. But, this does give us our impetuous for another hour and a half of whacky shenanigans because if Harold doesn’t fix that tree, there’s a good chance Mr Perez might kill him.

So we get the odd foursome of Harold and his new white bread bestie, Todd (and his daughter) and Kumar and his neighbor, Adrian, out on the lookout for a tree. This does lead to perhaps the most racially driven portion of the movie as they head to a tree lot run by two African-American guys trying to do this ‘good cop, bad cop’ thing, the Fat Albert looking guy playing nice and the other wondering what a pair of honkey, cracker, white ass fools are doing coming up in their turf.

Turns out Mr Perez isn’t the only one out to kill Harold though, as the tree search takes them to a party by way of Adrian who has a hookup waiting for him that he met online. She’s a virgin because apparently all the guys at school are scared to go anywhere near her. Adrian realizes that’s because her dad is notorious Ukranian mobster Sergei Katsov. At first I thought this was Chris Meloni making his third outing in the series but no, it’s actually Elias Koteas who was Casey Jones in the Ninja Turtles movies.

After Adrian goes soft upon finding out this information, Mary will settle for anyone at this point and goes to start blowing Harold right in the middle of the party. An inopportune time then for Daddy to come home and find what looks like an Eiffel Tower situation going on.

Even after they barely escape though, the nightmare is far from over as they start tripping and think they’re in the middle of a multi storey evil snowman attack. And, this all takes place in claymation. This is a really awesome scene, the design of the snowman is great and the level of destruction going on is amazing.

I could do without Kumar showing off his clay cock though, I only dread to think how much worse this is in 3D with him waving it about in your face.

Luckily, old buddies Rosenberg and Goldstein are there to shake them out of their bad trip and take them to White Castle to relax. Man, they have a much easier time getting their this time. They’ve clearly learnt from their past experiences. Along with the whole 3D into the camera gimmick, the racism angle has been replaced somewhat with religion, notably here with a whole speech about how Goldstein’s wife had him convert to Christianity and him just going in on those ‘dirty Jew bastards’.

That and the use of his son as a distraction so Harold & Kumar can go steal a tree from a church. ‘Pillow fight in the altar boys room, last one there is a rotten egg!’. Going in on the Catholics as well, I see.

And of course, the big one, the main man JC. Apparently Heaven is like a nightclub and we get the story of how NPH was ushered in the front door following his altercation at the whore house. Only, Jesus didn’t take kindly to NPH macking on his ladies so put in a word to the big man upstairs to send NPH back down to Earth. I mean, it’s not 100% to the letter but I’ll take this as I fucking called it.

The third part of the trifecta of racism replacements in this movie is metaness. There’s a good example here how they call out NPH coming out of the closet in real life, only to reveal that NPH is as big of a poon hound as he’s ever been and this is all just a trick to get the ladies. David Burtka? He’s not his husband, he’s just his dealer!

There’s a couple of other moments like someone referring to Harold as ‘Sulu’ or Adrian saying he lied to Mary and said he was Robert Pattison’s acting coach and that Kumar worked in the White House.

NPH is starring in some big festive stage show and sweet talks one of the dancers back to his dressing room, suggesting she strip down so that he can give her a massage. Hey, it’s cool, we’re all girlfriends here, right? Now just give him a minute so he can squirt some of his special lotion on your back...

He hooks up H&K with a tree from the set but before they can head home, the gangsters catch up with them take them to a secluded part of town for an execution.

But as they make their escape, Harold finds his dick has become stuck to the pole they were tied to. Okay, firstly, between this and Office Chrstimas Party, I’ve seen just about enough dicks to last me til the end of the season. Secondly, maybe this is God’s way of reminding me that I have some unfinished business with A Christmas Story. Sure there was the original and that sequel no one asked for but there is another...

And just in case you forget this is a Christmas movie, Harold inadvertently shoots Santa out of the sky and Kumar has to perform impromptu surgery, because he always does. Santa being played by Richard Riehle who was in Grounded for Life and, relevant to this blog, Chillerama and the Rob Zombie Halloween II. Turns out he was the one who sent Harold the massive joint so that the two of them could reconcile. I never knew Santa cared so much about the friendship of two potheads. I don’t know if he’s a good fit for Santa though, a little too gruff and mean. Doesn’t have the heart of say, an Edmund Gwenn. That could have been an alternate way to do this actually, have a totally sacherine by the numbers Santa that gets corrupted by H&K when they get him to smoke with them, he’s on too much of a bad trip to deliver the toys like normal so it’s up to them to save the day.

I think I would have to put this above the sequel but behind the original in terms of quality. As one note and as fleeting an appearance as he is, the Ukranian gangster somehow feels more of a threat than the entire US government in the second film. Keeping this adventure local again makes it feel much more grounded and there’s just a more light hearted atmosphere to the whole thing when you don’t have that massively racist and oppressive tone pressing down on it.

[thepoetoftime]

Story Time (tw: holocaust, violence, starvation, and all the associated warnings with genocide) *please reblog if you feel able*

Alright, usually I just reblog fun stuff, and some social justice. But today is International Holocaust Rememmberance Day, so I’m going to tell everyone a story.

When my mother was 17, she was an exchange student in Israel. Her host-mother is a Holocaust survivor, who escaped the camps first as one of the hidden children, and then living adjacent to the partisians in their local woods. To the best of my knowledge, Elisheva is still alive- though none of us have talked to her in years. My mom is in sporadic contact with one of her host-sisters.

We are the last generation to hear about the atrocities of the Holocaust directly from the survivors. Very soon, there will only be 2nd generation survivors- the children of those in the camps, who witnessed the trauma their parents were left with. This story was largely transcribed verbatim from Elisheva, by my father when he was in Israel on a business trip. I have edited some of the text for clarity, but I haven’t caught everything, so apologies in advance for the grammatical and spelling errors.

I understand that not everyone is capable of reading these kinds of horrors- and Elisheva’s story is tame, compared to many stories I have heard. But it is vital that we never forget the horrors of the Holocaust.

A Holocaust survivor once said before his talk, that there is no ‘typical’ Holocaust survivor story. The typical stories are those who were murdered in the camps.

****

elisheva was born 1937 in Ukrane (teshetsi tee-chi-say), a small village in Ukraine. In 1941, the germans occupied the place. After some time, they were driven to a ghetto in Berezno (bear-ez-no). Her father had a good friend in the village, so he asked the friend to take Elisheva out of the ghetto. There was no problem to take her out, because she was blond haired, and she looked Ukrainian, and she spoke Ukrainian. His house was far apart from other houses, so no one could see Elisheva in the house. He hid her in the hay loft of the barn during the day. Elisheva's father used to work for the germans to cut wood in the woods. In the evenings, he escaped and came to visit Elisheva. Michael (the friend) had 12 kids himself, so an extra child was easy to hide. But the people from the village knew Elisheva, so Michael was in danger if he was caught. She does not know how long she was there.

After some time, the germans wanted to take the people from the ghetto and send them to a concentration camp. In the evening, it started to rain very hard, and so her mother escaped and ran to different villages until she came to Michael. Then her father decided it was too dangerous for Michael, and took his family into the woods to hide.

A whole bunch of people from the area joined them in hiding. The the Germans did not go into the woods, they were afraid. But the Ukrainians went into the woods (paid by the germans to hunt for people). The initial group was about 89 or 90 people. After some time, they had to move from place to place to hide. After a time, there were only 27 or 28 of them left. (the rest caught and killed).

Michael used to provide them food. After some more time, it was too dangerous to stay close to the area of the village, so her father decided that they had to pass a river to come closer to the partisans. There were about 28 people in their group. However, the partisans did not want their group because of the young children that would cry.

She stayed almost 2 years in the woods. Until the war ended. About from 1942 to 1944 they were in the woods. THe war was not really over, but the russian army advance had caught up to them around 1944 or so.

She does not really remember how they came to a town called Saurna (sar-na). THe germans attacked all the time with airplanes, bombing the town. They had no shelter from the bombs. Then the russians took her father to the army. Elisheva and her mother went back to Barezna (their home town). (Barazna is about 45km from the village where Michael was). Elisheva started to go to school and study russian and ukranian-- the first grade. After a year or so, her father was released from the army. He returned, and they went by train (illegally) to poland. It was not legal for jews to leave Ukraine. They disguised themselves as ukranians on the train and went to Poland. (it was mostly illegal for refugees to leave). They went to a town in poland named Bitom (bee-tome) This is when Elisheva first started to learn hebrew (her third language). In Bitom, she first meant Shiliach (the hebrew word-- for outreach ambassador) and she joined a youth group with the Shiliachem. After several weeks, the Poles had a pogram in places where the jews were, including the youth club. At this point, her father decided to leave poland. Her father decided Poland was not a good place to wait to get to Israel. So they illegally crossed into Prague. They stayed one day there, and went on to austria to a new refugee camp called Wegshaig. She stayed in Wegshaig Austria about 1.5 years. She studied hebrew, there were teachers, there were hebrew songs, and she joined gordonia organization. (a zionist youth organization from years ago). They wanted to go to israel, so the shlicham took them illegally through the alps to Italy. They walked. They got a truck to the base of the mountains, and then they walked through the alps to Itally. Elisheva was about 10, it was 1947.

They went to a place in itally called Anzio. about 60km from Rome. (there was a big WW2 battle there a few years earlier). THey stayed there until 1949, about 1.5-2 years. They studied in Rome, and they learned Italian, English and Hebrew. At the end of May 1949, they came to Israel. They went to a camp called beer yakov. Close to Nestiona (not far from Tel Aviv). The next day they came to Afula (summar of 1949).

[tanechkas]

&&. ( tatiana kotyonok valentina ), the ( twenty-one ) year old ( daughter ) of the president of ( ukraine ). she is often confused with ( carmella rose ). some say that she is ( shy and nervous ), but she is actually ( earnest and eager to please ). 

                                                 “you blossom under kindness, don’t you? like a rose.”

hiii loves! here is my second bean! she is a lot different from adelina, and i am really excited to explore her character here! she doesn’t have too many defined connections yet, especially given that she isn’t a royal, so i would love to set some up asap! her bio is underneath the cut, pls mind the tags for trigger warnings <3 ALSO IT IS REALLY LONG AND I AM SORRY BUT IT’S A LOT.

✿ When Tatiana’s mother, Anya Metanova, was only eighteen years old, she found herself caught up in a whirlwind love affair with none other than the president of Ukraine. As a young woman from Russia without any family to speak of, she couldn’t believe that someone in such an incredible position of power had wanted anything to do with her, and it wasn’t long before she had given her heart to him entirely. However...he was married at the time, and therefore unable to ruin his public image by entering a relationship with a girl whose lineage was less than impressive to say the least, and so when Anya unexpectedly fell pregnant with his child...she didn’t tell him about it. Instead, she fled back home to Russia, and it was there that she gave birth to a beautiful baby girl, and bestowed her with her maiden name - Tatiana Kotyonok Metanova. 

✿ Anya wanted nothing to do with the Ukraine president - Oleksander Valentina - and even more so, she didn’t want her daughter to know anything about her father and where he came from. She raised Tatiana in a small town in Russia, and it was there in Lazarevo that the two of them lived a quaint, humble life together. They never had very much money, but Tatiana didn’t want for much, and needed very little as well. She was happy with her mama, and grew up with sunshine scattered all over her skin and clearwater running through her veins. 

✿ Tatiana was always very shy, and naturally timid, especially due to the fact that she was diagnosed with dyslexia at a young age. She loves to read, and eagerly devours books when she has the chance to, but it’s difficult for her - the words bounce around on the pages and she isn’t able to make out full sentences without saying them slowly underneath her breath. Because of this, she was bullied during her first few years at school, and so she learned to be a quiet little mouse, if only because she didn’t want to get picked on. She still struggles with her dyslexia today, but works with it as best as she can, and she doesn’t like to disclose it to other people at all unless they’re close. 

✿ Both she and her mother were thrilled when she was offered a scholarship the moment she graduated from high school, and Tatiana immediately chose to study what had always been her dream occupation: early childhood education. She wanted to be a pre-school teacher more than anything else in the entire world, and so her mother sacrificed everything in order to make it happen.

✿ It wasn’t until she was in college that she finally made a close friend - he became her everything, and they were practically inseparable. He was the first person that Tatiana had ever truly bonded with aside from her mother, and she trusted and loved him with all of her heart. 

✿ However...it was during her summer break at the end of her second year of college, when she was just returning home to Lazarevo to spend time with her mother, that Tatiana’s world was torn to shreds. She can only remember it in blurry fragments, but one moment, she had been excitedly taking a freshly-baked loaf of borodinsky bread out of the oven, and the next, a man dressed fully in tactical gear was barging through the front door with a gun. Tatiana still hates herself for this to this day, but she froze in the kitchen as the masked assailant began to scream at her poor, defenseless mother in Ukranian, asking about a daughter and where she was, and in response her mother could only insist over and over again that there was no daughter, that there was only her and her alone, and then - just like that, the sound of her hysterics was cut off by a deafening blast, and then there was silence. The man was gone, but her mother was left bleeding out on the living room floor. 

✿ Anya Metanova died in her daughter’s arms that day, but not before bestowing her with the locket she had always worn around her neck - the one that Tatiana had never been allowed to open - and inside of it was a picture of the Ukranian president.  Your father, Anya told her, stroking her face weakly with a bloodstained hand, and despite Tatiana’s desperate, frantic pleas for her to hold on just a moment longer until the paramedics arrived, Anya still passed. 

✿ Everything that happened after the death of her mother was an absolute mess. Her birth records, as well as a paternity test, revealed that she was indeed the daughter of the Ukranian president, and that the man that had murdered her mother hadn’t been sent to kill her at all - he had been looking for Tatiana after hearing the rumors that there was indeed another heiress to the Ukranian throne. It broke Tatiana’s heart even more to know that it had been her fault her mother had died; if she had only just done more, surely she could have prevented it.

✿ It wasn’t long before she was introduced to her father - startlingly enough, he wanted to see her. He wanted her to come and live with him. He had loved her mother a great deal, and he had searched for her far and wide after she had left him, completely unaware of the fact that she had given birth to his daughter. His wife passed away as well several years ago, and so it has just been him and his other child - Sofia - ever since. Tatiana doesn’t know how to feel about her new family at all - after all, it was her mother’s connection to Oleksander that had eventually lead to her untimely death - but she felt hopeless and alone, and even more so, utterly terrified that the man that had been trying to kill her would come back now that her existence had been made known to the world. 

✿ Now, it has been six months since she has become a part of the Ukranian dynasty, and her head hasn’t stopped spinning ever since. She grieves for her mother every single day, and struggles to adapt to the high-powered political world that she’s been thrust into. Her face has been splashed on the front page of every single national newspaper ever since the day that she was found covered in her mother’s blood, and the publicity makes her so anxious that she can hardly think straight. She was pulled so suddenly out of her college, and she hasn’t seen her best friend either. Everything is a mess, and now she’s in Oslo, with full security detail to ensure that no further harm comes to her. 

✿ Her bodyguard, Ronan Ludolph, is the only person that she really feels comfortable around ever since her world was shifted and changed so dramatically. He makes her feel safe, and that’s saying a lot given everything that’s happened to her within the span of six months. When she has anxiety attacks, or when she can’t calm herself down no matter how hard she tries, he’s there to comfort and soothe her and remind her that she’s going to be okay. He’s the only one who knows the depth of her PTSD in the wake of her mother’s death.

✿ Now, Tatiana is adapting to life in Oslo, as the newly-revealed youngest daughter of the president of the Ukraine. She isn’t used to glitz and glamor or any of the things that come so easily to her father and Sofia, and because of that, she often feels like an outcast. 

✿ Tatiana is very shy, and so much of a pushover that it’s kind of pitiful. She’s quick to flinch and jump at the slightest sounds or commotions, and she approaches everything very timidly. She’s sweet, though, with a kind heart that’s made for loving, and she craves affection and intimacy something fierce.

✿ Tatiana primarily speaks Russian, but she knows Ukranian as well. Her English, however, is not that great at all, and she stumbles over her words more often than not.

✿ She has several nicknames! Tatia, Tanechka, Tatiasha, Tania, Tasha...it is a never-ending list, really! She loves flowers, animals, and children - she secretely longs to have a big family someday. 

✿ A possible wanted connection: the boy she met during college (could either be a staff member at Oslo now, or maybe he was even a member of a royal family or the son of a president?), because ideally they were very close friends, and my headcanon is that he also took her virginity!! They haven’t spoken in months, though, ever since the death of her mother...it would be super fun to explore that relationship further. Taken by Alphonse of Luxembourg!

✿ That is all for now though! Pls let me know if you wanna plot with this shy bean, she could use connections for sure!