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archivingspn · 3 years

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WildStorm Productions: “Supernatural Rising Son #6 (pg 19-22)″

Context: This satirical comic was co-written by Eric Kripke. The term “beast with two backs” dates back to Shakespeare’s Othello, and is a metaphor for two people having sex. It is unclear if the monster is a conjoined Jared and Jensen or Sam and Dean demon crab monster.

[Panel 1 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area]

John: BOYS. I WISH I COULD GIVE YOU NORMAL LIVES. I DO. BUT I JUST CAN'T. WE GOT WORK TO DO...

Dean: OH HERE WE GO AGAIN, WITH THE WORK, AND THE SADNESS,AND THE--

Sam: HEY, STOP IT! I'M SAD,TOO...

[Panel 2 pg19: 1990 John, Sam, and Dean Winchester in a suburban area but the image is distorting]

Dean: NOT AS SAD AS ME! I GOT MORE ANGST THAN I CAN SHOVEL!

Sam: PLEASE! I DEFINE "MOPEY."

[Panel 3 pg19: Distorted image of Harry Spangler and Ed Zeddmore]

Ed: THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THIS COMIC. WE ARE CONTROLLING THE TRANSMISSION.

Harry: WE WILL CONTROL THE HORIZONTAL. WE WILL CONTROL THE VERTICAL.

FOR YOU ARE ABOUT TO EXPERIENCE THE AWE AND MYSTERY OF--

[Panel 4 pg19: Clearer picture of Harry and Ed]

Harry: THE GHOSTFACERS!

Ed: I'M ED, THAT'S HARRY. AND YOU, PAL, WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF READING ONE PANSY-ASS, WEEPY-EYED, BRO-MANCE. A REAL D**K FLICK, YOU ASK ME.

[Panel 5 pg19: Harry and Ed in a comic studio with a comic artist]

Harry: WHICH IS WHY WE'VE HIRED THE FINEST ARTIST IN SOUTHEASTERN MILWAUKEE, TO SHOW YOU WHAT A "REAL MAN'S COMIC" LOOKS LIKE.

Ed: A STORY FROM OUR LIFE. RED BLOODED, TWO FISTED, EXTRA CHUNKY, AND 1000%TRUE.

Artist: YOU GUYS PROMISED ME TWENTY BUCKS.

Ed: SHUT YOUR GOB OR NO MORE SCHLITZ,RUMMY!

[Panel 6 pg19: the title card panel with a single speech bubble]

GHOSTFACERS IN: THE BEAST WITH TWO BACKS

(Off screen) Harry or Ed: SO LOCK THAT BASEMENT DOOR, AND DON'T LET MOM IN... 'CAUSE YOU'RE IN FOR THE GREATEST RIDE IN THE HISTORY OF YOUR LIFE!

Written by Eric Kripke & Peter Johnson Art by Dan Hipp Colors by Jonny Rench Letters by Wes Abbott Kristy Quinn - Assistant Editor Ben Abernathy - Editor

[Panel 1 pg 20: an establishing shot of a riverside hanger in an urban setting]

Story bubble: IT WAS JUST ANOTHER DAY AT GFHQ.

[Panel 2 pg 20: Scantily clad Maggie watching shirtless, muscular, and sweaty Harry and Ed lifting weights in a control panel room]

Ed: DUDE. I'M TOTALLY BLASTING MY DELTS.

Harry: NICE CLEAN AND JERK, ED!

Maggie: GET A ROOM, YOU GUYS.

Harry: WE HAVE ONE. WE SLEEP IN BUNK BEDS,YOU KNOW THAT.

[Panel 3 pg 20: Chimp!Kenny Spruce interacting with the control panel]

Chimp!Spruce: EEP, EEP, IP, CHEEP, URP, IP, IP!

[Panel 4 pg 20: Close up of shirtless and sweaty Harry and Ed]

Ed: WHAT'S THAT, SPRUCE? A CLASS-IV DEMON SIGHTING? WHERE?

(Off screen) Chimp!Spruce: EEP, IP, URP, CHEEP

Harry: OKAY, LET'S WATCH THE TONE, SPRUCE. NO ONE LIKES A SMARTASS.

[Panel 4 pg 20: Ed in the front with a sword wearing a sleeveless uniform with the logo GF on it. Harry, wearing the same uniform, in the back holding a big gun in each hand. Maggie is next to them holding a beeping device in one hand and gun in the other with Chimp!Spruce riding on top of her head. The background looks like an underground dungeon with mechanical attributes mixed in.]

Maggie: IT SHOULD BE CLOSE.

[Panel 5 pg 20: Close up on Harry]

Harry: YOU HEAR WE'RE SO THAT?

The Beast: PRETTYYYY. WE'RE THE PRETTIEST BOYS IN ALL THE WORLD.

[Panel 1 pg 21: A wide shot of The Beast With Two Backs holding a girl with big boobs, big eyes, and heels hostage in their arms. Sam/Jared’s head is on the right. Dean/Jensen’s head is on the left.]

Sam/Jared head: YOU'RE VERY BEAUTIFUL... WHICH IS WHY YOU MUST DIE!

Dean/Jensen head: NO ONE CAN HAVE FULLER, POUTIER LIPS THAN US! NO ONE!

[Panel 2 pg 21: Wide shot of Ed, Maggie, Chimp!Spruce, and Harry battle ready]

Harry: IT'S OUR ARCH-NEMESIS!! NEMESI? WHAT'S PLURAL?

Ed: NOW WE FINISH IT!

[Panel 3 pg 21: Close up of the Beast and Hostage Lady]

Sam/Jared Head: WITNESS THE TERRIBLE FURY OF OUR PERFECT BONE STRUCTURE!

Dean/Jensen Head: BOW BEFORE OUR HIGH CHEEK BONES!

[Panel 1 pg 22: A wide shot of Harry shooting a big gun and hitting The Beast With Two Backs shoulder making the sound effect “Whamm-o.”]

[Panel 2 pg 22: Ed in the middle of a swinging his sword at the Beast in the foreground.]

Ed: HOW'S THAT FOR THE POWER OF GRAY SKULL?!

[Panel 3 pg 22: A close up on the Beast with Two Backs. Smoke is coming out from their mouths and their eyes have been censored with black boxes]

(Off screen) Ed or Harry: NOT SO PRETTY ANYMORE,ARE YOU??!

[Panel 4 pg 22: The Beast lies defeated in the background among the smoke. The Hostage Lady is caressing Ed’s Pecs, while Maggie is caressing Harry’s. Chip!Spruce is riding on Harry’s back.]

Hostage Lady: HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?

Ed: TWO WORDS: REVERSE COWGIRL.

Harry: HEY, SOMETHING'S WRONG. I FEEL WET...STICKY...

Maggie: EWWW! HARRY!

Harry: THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN...

[Panel 5 pg 22: Back in the comic room the artist is passed out on the desk, and beer has been knocked over on the comic. Harry and Ed are in the foreground wearing their regular clothes and bodies]

Harry: DUDE, HE SPILLED BEER ALL OVER THE COMIC!

Ed: SO THERE YOU GO. OUR LIVES. LAUGHS, LOVE, TEARS, DARE I SAY, ENLIGHTENMENT. YOU'RE WELCOME.

[Panel 6 pg 22: A distorted close up on Harry and Ed]

Harry: YOU MUST BE SPENT. TAKE THE REST OF THE DAY FOR QUIET REFLECTION, WE OUT.

Ed: AND DON'T FORGET-- THE MOVIE RIGHTS FOR THIS BAD BOY ARE WIDE OPEN!

Story box: THE END

#2008-Aug #2008:August27 #*wincest #*jared/jensen #*queerbaiting #*codependency #Eric Kripke #WildStorm Productions #Supernatural Rising Son 6 #*magazines #cw: homophobic language #cw: offensive content

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carryonmywaywardwriters · 5 years

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One Day At A Time - Jensen x Reader

A/N: Part Three! If you’d like to be tagged, please sent an ask or message. As always, feedback is incredible. And, I hope you all enjoy <3

PSA: I am NOT a minor friendly blog. If you are below 18, please come back when you’re older. I don’t want to lose my blog because you were too eager to grow up. If I discover you, I WILL block.

Series Masterlist

Warnings: Widower!Jensen. Grieving process. Age Gap. Character pregnancy. Unrequited feelings. Online personality problems. Guilt. I believe that is all.

Word Count: Roughly 2,700

“Hi, there,” The woman giggled into the mic as Jensen played up the flirty eyebrow bounce and cheesy smile that would be cast over Tumblr within twenty four hours.

He was finished after that final panel, for the trip. Nothing sounded better than a hot shower and catching some sleep. His mind was still reeling from the news he'd been given that morning, but he couldn't focus on that. So, he buried himself behind that charming persona he'd created.

“Dude, leave her alone...she wants me,” Jared smoothed his thick, long, chestnut locks in a way that caused thirsty cries from all around. He cackled as his friend mock frowned his way; unimpressed at the turn of attention. Earning the familiar high pitched laugh from the crowd in front of them.

It was easy to play into their hands. To take the nerves that came with being shy and put it towards acting like a dork with his best friend. He appreciated the disguise more than he'd ever say. Letting it mask the worry and fear he could feel churning inside of him when it was too quiet for long.

“Actually, my question is for Jensen-”

“Ha!” The mentioned man in question leaned forward at the barked utterance, pretending to gloat. Smugly bouncing his brows at Padalecki.

With a deep, regretful sigh, the taller of the two settled back in his chair; wrapping his arms around the back of it as he sat in reverse, “Okay, I guess.” The over dramatically stated words were coupled with a theatrical sulk that drew forth more giggles.

“I was wondering if Y/N and the kids are enjoying the trip to San Diego,” It was no secret that his family had been flocked around him. Until now, that is. The way he paused at that had every eye present turning towards him.

“Uh, actually...” He forced his lips to stay upright. “They're back home, right now.” Concerned 'awes' filled the air. “No, no. It's okay. They're living it up.” Jared turned his gaze back to the man he'd been brothers with for almost two decades. Not buying into the idea that he was really alright with it. “Last time I checked, they were having some kinda dance party. Again.” The way he clenched his teeth relaxed the fans a bit. An over emphasized grimace always seemed to break the mood. “It was wild. There was pink everywhere and a herd of little girls shouting to music.”

“Odette was leading the charge on the one I got,” The taller man joined in, having received his own recording. “Kicked Zeppelin over to my place for an old fashioned dinosaur night with the boys.” More awes filled the air.

“Y/N sent you something? I thought you two still weren't talking after you tried to drown her?” His brow crooked, finding something he could latch onto. Knowing that his friend had delivered that ammo on purpose. He really did love the moose.

“I can explain!” Jared held up his hand towards the 'ooohs,' and then stopped. “No... no, I can't.” His head dipped in false shame, earning another set of rambunctious chuckles.

“I can.” Jensen easily took over. Turning to better face the crowd now that he'd successfully maneuvered around the original question. “This guy tortures my nanny. She's like the female version of Misha to Jared. It's endless.” The mentioned man's lips screwed up as he nodded proudly, accepting the label that was thrown onto you. “So, we were at a cookout over at his place. I'm flipping burgers and relaxing with a beer. You know...like a normal person.” His words only made his friend shrug. Zero shame in sight. “Next thing I know? She's screeching as he full on tosses her into the pool.”

“She called me old!” The roar that followed was deafening. “See? They get it!” He beamed at the response only serving to make Jensen over-exaggerate the roll of his green eyes. “And, it worked. What did she say after?”

“You're a child.” The admission was straightforward.

“Meaning that I'm young, and that she was wrong.” A round of applause made him get to his feet, and bow as the widower shook his head in mock shame. Cracking his own grin.

The mic was lifted back to Jensen's lips, “Dude...you started a war because she told the truth?” He knew what had been said, but the crowd was eating it up. Keeping him safe for a little while longer.

“That hurts...” A pat to the heart was thrown in. “That hurts me right there.”

“The kids all joined in. It was chaos.” Ackles explained the previous comment to the women, with a few men scattered here and there. “My kids and Y/N versus his herd and him. We needed an ark to get to the tables. They soaked everything.” His hand panned across the people in front of him, emphasizing how far the damage had spread. “Everything. Gen thought they were going to kill each other.” Jared cackled. Remembering the look on his wife's face. “Y'all know how we had to stop pranking each other, right? 'Cause it was so deadly? That's what they should be doing. Instead, she's become this...epic battle partner. I'm thinking they'll start the next apocalypse before this is over.” A proud nod confirmed it. Jared wouldn't give in until the world ended. Or, he had to go back to work. Whichever happened first.

“Do you prank Y/N?” Someone shouted, catching his attention.

“Do I... Do I prank her? Are you kidding? Do I look stupid?” More laughs filled the air as he shuddered something fierce. “Misha? Absolutely. He doesn't fight back.” His fingers tacked off each point. “He doesn't live in my house. Doesn't hang out with my kids. I like not having to worry about her sicking my spawn on me in retaliation. They'd do it in a heart beat, too.” And most importantly, it kept the professional barriers somewhat in place. “Yeah, no, Y/N and I don't....we're not...” Weren't anything other than co-parents, employer and employee, and almost friends in an odd sort of way. How's that for complicated?

“As fun as I am,” Jared finished, saving him, again. Hoping that the fans wouldn't take that last statement as he had started to. He covered his own look of interest before diving back into the panel. “Now, that we went way off topic....who's next?”

–

“How did the 'mom' thing even start?” You asked in confusion, scrolling through your Instagram notifications. Your feet thrown over the back of the couch as you sprawled. Making yourself quite at home in the Ackles house. The selfie you'd posted while cleaning the damage the girls had caused was packed.

Not that you weren't used to it by that stage. The moment Danneel had tagged you in a post, it had been over. You'd been stalked and fawned over by some. When she passed? You'd been flocked for updates about the Ackles family.

It had taken a year for you to gather the courage to begin posting again. Once you did? The fandom clung to you for offering small pieces of what life was like inside the Ackles' household. Needing to have that sense of closeness to the supernatural family, still, even with a member gone.

The simple image of you with Oscar resting his head on your lap as you sorted the makeup away had garnered the usual 'queen', 'mom', and 'I love yous' mixed with the occasional trash talker. Once Jensen had commented saying he wanted his dog back when he got home? It had grown worse. When you told him that he'd have to fight you for the golden doodle? The post had blown up. The fans demanding to know if you and him had something going on.

Apparently his panel had only cemented the idea, somehow. You hadn't watched it. Leaving you to only wonder what he'd said to garner that response. Sure it had simply been taken out of context.

You scrolled on, determined to find some answers. A few flicks of your fingers and fate intervened. The phone slipped to your face. Making you wince all the while. As if life had directly told you that social media was bad for your health.

With a sigh, you tossed your phone to the couch. Trying to not let the extreme Danneel and Jensen fans get under your skin. Too many 'you'll never be her' comments filled your mind. More than enough 'stop trying to take her place' had you questioning where you stood. You were doing everything you could to get what was needed done while not dancing on your deceased friend's toes.

Did the world really not understand? Were you really any better off than they suggested? The small crush said you weren't.

“No idea,” Genevieve stated seriously, walking towards the grey couch you were occupying with a pile of healthy snacks loaded up. Pulling you from the internal struggle. She'd been extra conscious of what she was putting into her body since she'd discovered the newest pregnancy. “I just kinda...roll with it.”

She and the kiddos were bunking with you. Tag teaming was so much simpler when the baby exhaustion hit. And it gave the both of you some grownup time together when the men were away.

“It's so strange,” You picked up one of the grapes with your fingers before plopping it in your mouth. Giving up on trying to understand the fact that you'd become an icon of sorts- and the ramifications- for simply nannying some, albeit great, kids.

At your friend's next words, you choked, “So...what's the deal with you and Jensen?”

“It's the same as its always been,” Came the broken words as you got back a hold of yourself. Brushing it off. “Why?”

“Just curious,” That wasn't it. The cool, actress's poker face she wore said as much. But, you were too sensitive to call her out on it, just then. Luckily, she changed gears. “I can't believe that this is it...The last season is being filmed this year.”

The CW had finally pulled the plug on the Winchesters once it had hit adulthood. The boys had found out in a meeting that morning. They'd known it was coming. Had even agreed to it. And yet? Hearing the finality of it? Was another nail in the coffin.

“Eighteen seasons...It's crazy.” Your hand ran through your hair as you looked at the old episode on screen. Sister Jo stood off against Michael!Dean. The tension in the scene was palpable. It didn't hurt to watch it, anymore. Instead, you focused on the fact that she'd been doing what she loved with the man she'd been head over heels for. “How's Jared holding up?”

“He's zeroed in on the kids. Telling himself that it's going to be good for us in the end.” Her hand rubbed over her still flat stomach. “But, he's definitely feeling it. He's been Sam for so long... Saying goodbye is hard.”

“That it is,” You agreed, frowning at the screen. Wondering how Jensen was taking the day.

He hadn't said a thing to you when he'd checked in. Simply had asked for an update on the household before he crashed. Dean had become his crutch. Without the Winchester in his life, you weren't quite sure what he'd do with himself.

Ackles had a passion for directing and acting. There was no doubt about it. But, Supernatural had become everything when his life had turned upside down. It had given him the consistency he'd needed to get through. And while things had been okay for a time? It would be just another major thing he was losing.

Your socked foot rubbed over the soft fur of Icarus. The cockapoo was up there in age. He'd been diagnosed with congestive heart failure at sixteen years old. The white, fifteen pounds of floof didn't let it deter him, though. A couple of pills a day kept him comfortable and loved for as long as he could be. But, it had gotten under Jensen's skin, too.

It made your stomach churn to think about how fast the negative could pile up on already weakened shoulders. And yet, he wanted you to step back. Having time away from him had cleared your head. Allowed you to see his side of things. Maybe it was time to give him some room to breathe. To let him process everything on his own. After all, you were just the nanny...

–

“Dad!” Three voices shouted in unison when the door opened. Ditching their place at the table as Jensen stumbled in with a wide smile on his face. Each kid got a big hug, and a kiss on the cheek.

When they tried to talk over each other, he slowed them down, gently with a, “One at a time.” And, miraculously? It worked. He was informed of everything he'd already had reported to him. Only this time? In child perspective. Which made it dramatic. Completely over the top. Just the way he liked it.

A nod your way was all you received as you slipped past the scene; lifting his bag for him so that no one tripped over it. Including the bumbling dog that was trying to get a kiss in, himself. Oscar had missed his human while he'd been gone.

The dog had been with Danneel's brother during her last pregnancy. She'd been too sick to handle the energetic buffoon while Jensen had been away, filming the show. Gino had fallen in love with the pup. Keeping him...until he thought Jensen needed him more. Returning him back to the Ackles' home solemnly. Oscar had, once again, latched back onto the head of the house with a fierce loyalty that most wouldn't expect from a fluffed up mixed breed. The affection was mutual. Jensen's hand stilled the squirming beast with a simple pet to the top of his curled head as you left the chaos.

Jensen's room was clean. A feat that wouldn't last long once he started unpacking. Bed made up, clothes lined nice and neat, with just a hint of his cologne still lingering in the air from before he'd left. You dropped the duffle on the mattress and turned away. Only to catch sight of the image beside his pillow. It held the dogs, his wife, and the kids all surrounding him. Everything he loved in one picture. His family.

Slowly, you slid the door shut and returned back to the reunion, “Dinner's ready if you're hungry.” You smiled softly at the way he ensured each kid knew that they were loved before climbing back up to his feet. Lumbering after you to get the food while it was still hot.

“Spaghetti,” The actor rumbled in excitement, sniffing the air as he approached the table. His lips smacked hungrily. He was a sucker for a pasta with a good meat sauce. “The wardrobe ladies are gonna be mad at me, later, but I'm piling it up.” He hadn't exaggerated. The flight had left him hungry. “God, this is good.” Came the Dean-like groan as he chowed down. Forgetting that he didn't have to eat like a man who had lived off of nothing more than pizza and beer.

“Dad!” The tiny, disapproving tone left J.J with ease. “You're not supposed to talk with your mouth full.”

He gulped down the food, and smiled sheepishly, “Sorry, J-bird.”

“It's okay. Just try to remember,” The words were so Danneel that you couldn't help but to smile gently at them. She was going to be trouble as she continued to age. But, you had faith she'd be pretty great in the end. Hell, they all would if the night was any indication.

If he was upset about the show ending, he didn't show it. Even after the kids retired for the night and he helped clean up, he didn't say a word. The only thing you got was a pat on the back and a low “goodnight” that made your skin prickle before you returned your own.

Part Four

ODAAT: @winchester-ofthe-lord @smoothdogsgirl @ima-be-a-mongoose @briagallen

Dean/Jensen: @akshi8278 @screechingartisancashbailiff

Forever: @dean-winchesters-bacon @supernaturalginger @lilulo-12 @awesome-badass-cafeteria-sauce @malfoysqueen14 @michealneedssomemilk

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lesbx · 4 years

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okay so i have only just recently actually watched suicide squad after only just hearing out of context stuff abt how shitty jared leto was as the joker but now that i HAVE seen it. i do think it is the fucking funniest thing ever that jared leto like permanently tanked his acting career and made his co-workers on set hate him with his dumbass method acting stunts and he did that all for a role where he had like not even 10 minutes of screen time. if u haven’t watched it he literally is only in like 4 scenes for a few minutes each in the entire flick

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smokeybrandreviews · 4 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Slide

David Fincher is one of my favorite creators. Dude has punched out great cinema over the years. Se7en, Gone Girl; All his work. Interestingly enough, he got his start in the Alien franchise with Alien 3. I think Fincher could have crafted something great but meddling from the top ruined his film. At the time, he couldn't make the movie he wanted because he was brand new, a stooge put in place to finish a corporate cash grab It's f*cked up because I kind of like Alien 3. I liked the potential it had. I may do a proper review on that flick later in life but this one is about the movie that really made me pay attention to Fincher. This one is about his masterpiece, his magnum opus; Fight Club.

The Great

This is a proper, star-making performance from Brad Pitt. If I recall, his clout was on the rise when he got the role of Tyler Durdan but hat he did with this character was truly something special. Durdan is this chaos given form, this anarchist who seethes with raw disdain for society, just below a smarmy surface. His overt confidence belies a truly horrifying genius. You love this dude even though that voice in the back of your head screams that he is dangerous. Tyler Durdan is one of the best written antagonists I have ever seen and Brad Pitt brings this complex, eccentric, force of nature, to the screen with a realism that is often scathingly unsettling.

The Narrator is very interesting. Fight Club is the visual representation of a grown man, having a complete and total mental breakdown; A fact Norton did not miss. Edward Norton pulls off this performance that degrades over the run time. You see the Narrator deteriorate and it's jarring. Norton imbues this decay with a viscerally desperate, almost manic by the end, energy to a character that starts off so tightly wound. By that closing scene, you're as exhausted as The Narrator and that is testament to Norton's ability, for sure.

Last but certainly not least, Marla f*cking Singer. If there was ever a more accurate presentation of my dream girl, I don't know who it could be. Marla is just this broken, nihilistic, sexually liberated, shell of a person. She's freer in ways that I rarely see in people and it's proper endearing to my f*cked brain. Who else do you get to articulate those nuanced eccentricities other than Helena Bonham Carter? HBC has built a career on the abstract and alienated. Marla was perfect for her and Carter played her perfectly.

This entire cast, man, was absolutely excellent. From Meatloaf's Robert Paulson, to Jared Leto's , and even The Narrator's boss, everyone came through and dropped a tone fitting, scene stealing, performance. Even the extras, one-and-done characters like that waiter recommending to pass on the soup or the detectives who tried to get The Narrator's balls, were awesome.

None of these characters would have been so ably depicted without the outstanding direction of David Fincher. I saw this before I saw Se7en, but after Alien 3 so, going in, I was a little suspect. I was pleasantly surprised by how well put together this movie turned out to be, how naturally it flows, especially considering the context of the narrative. Fight Club probably reads as un-filmable, considering some of the scenes that were captured, so for Fincher to give that much life to the overall plot is a proper masterstroke

Speaking of narrative, the writing in this thing is exception. I mean, some of the dialogue is just ridiculous. The sh*t Marla says, the philosophical nature of Durdan, the way certain situations are framed; It's all brilliant. I mean, who writes, “I haven't been f*cked like that since grade school.” and expects that line to be delivered with a straight face? F*cking outstanding!

Seriously, I can't commend the writing enough. To tell this story, the way it's presented, that script had to have been one of the best in Hollywood for the time. There's no way you pack that much detail in a world without a tight ass focus to pull from.

I love the narrative of this story. Most cats would write it off as little more than a hyper-masculine fantasy or tag on to the very aggressive commentary toward the consumerist mentality of the US, but I just love the underlying exploration of man, having the most violent mid-life crises, ever. I mean, the dude disassociates from reality, bags the girl of his dreams, becomes who he always wants to be, and it turns out he wants to be the greatest domestic terrorist in history! That sh*t is awesome! Fight Club is also one of the most earnest, endearing, love stories I have ever seen. I mean, Marla and The Narrator's entire relationship is doomed going forward, but they had one helluva honeymoon phase.

The fight choreography in this thing is brutal. I love a good martial arts outing but this ain't that. This is raw, punishing, no frills, face pounding. This is the curb stomp you get into when cats are after you for your J's. This is that panicked, adrenaline filled, fight for your life. There are no fancy spin kicks or one-inch punches or knees delivered from helicopters. No, the is only the hard, wet, slaps of fist to flesh and it's glorious.

This movie is gorgeous. The way it's shot, the scene transitions, the composition of said scenes, the cinematography and frame work; All of it is f*cking exceptional. There is just this grim, filthy, haze over this surreal vision and that malignancy grows as the film progresses. That aggressive corruption is as much a character in this film as Marla or Durdan, themselves.

The Verdict

If you haven't guessed by my unbridled praise of this movie, I love Fight Club. It's one of my favorite films, ever. It's influenced how I tell my stories and create my characters. Indeed, I believe that Tyler Durdan is one of the best antagonist ever brought to life onscreen, standing equal to Darth Vader and Ledger's Joker. Fincher is in prime form, crafting a chaotic, fever dream of testosterone, mid life crises, and toxic masculinity, package in a scathing social commentary about materialism and superficiality. As a kid, the dope visuals and pulp brutality shocked me. As an adult, the subtle story telling and great character work enthrall me. Edward Norton is excellent, per usual, as The Narrator but Brad Pitt surprised. Tyler Durdan gave him room to play, to experiment, and show us what he could do. Pitt definitely did that. For my money, though, Marla Singer made this flick. No one but Helena Bonham Carter could have made that role work. Fight Club is chock full of gritty performances, surprising cameos, rich writing, great fights, and raw emotion. This film is absolutely excellent and, while earning the reputation as a favorite to the Hot Topic crowd, deserves to be seen by everyone. The first time you experience this narrative is amazing but, upon repeat viewing knowing what you know. It gets better. I don’t believe it’s a perfect film, it’s not as tight as Alien in some parts, but it’s damn close. Fight Club is a modern classic that should absolutely be seen by everyone, at least once.

#Smokey brand Movie Reviews #Fight Club

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purkinje-effect · 5 years

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The Anatomy of Melancholy, 37

Table of Contents. Second Instar, Chapter 4. Go to previous. Go to next. TWs: lascivious themes, insects, blood, coprophobia, mysophobia, decomposition. It’s not as explicit as the nosedive or the short story, but he’s revisiting the memory of those things here so.

_____________________

Now that the sun had set, little light entered the clubhouse’s lounge lobby through the high paneled windows to either side of the back wall behind the bar or the broken windows at the front. At first, ‘Choly had made his way by the sound of Bogey and Angel chatting, but they fell quiet once he exited the locker room and 'Choly instead came up to the bar by the light the two Mister Handy robots’ thruster flames emitted. He sat at one of the stools with a tired smile, and hooked his cane beside him on the edge of the countertop.

“I hope the change of attire suits you,” Bogey started, to break the silence. ‘Choly looked between the two of them and nodded. “You really must forgive my poor hosting. I was programmed as the bar and grill server, but it’s all bar and no grill as of late. Could I interest you in a drink? I regret to note we’re out of ice at the moment.”

Angel answered on his behalf before he could even consider cocktail options.

“Mister Carey, a Nuka-Cola Wild sounds to your liking, doesn’t it?”

'Choly would have rolled his eyes and objected to the euphemism for a designated driver, were it not for the irony that Angel had still not noticed that he had sampled at least three flavors of bicentennial Nuka-Cola and discovered they’d each turned alcoholic. But, he hadn’t encountered the sarsaparilla flavored variety in mention in the past few months, so although he had a suspicion it too would have fermented, he couldn’t confirm it from personal experience.

“We’re fresh out of Nuka-Cola Wild, I’m afraid,” the brass Handy apologized, believing its patron to be making up his mind as to what to order. “If you’d like something non-alcoholic, could I interest you instead in a Nuka-Cola Classic, or a Nuka-Cola Cherry?”

The chemist gave it a sloppy grin.

“You’re really too kind, Bogey. You don’t need to provide me dinner. I’ve already eaten tonight. Angel has the right idea. A Nuka-Cola Cherry sounds refreshing.”

While pouring the Nuka-Cola Cherry into a highball glass using two pincer tendrils, with the third Bogey surreptitiously flicked on the fusion cell lantern on the counter. The bar area illuminated with a warm coppery glow, and highlighted the myriad of dents in the chassis of the brass Handy. It set the glass in front of ‘Choly, as well as the bottle of what wouldn’t fit, and awaited his approval in bated posture.

“Thanks for the drink. Really hits the spot.” He sighed comfortably. “And thanks for turning on some light. My eyesight isn’t so great anymore.”

Bogey flinched, only to loosen, accepting the gratitude.

“You’ll be staying the night, then?” it fielded at a caution.

“If it’s all right with you, that is.” He took another drink. “You wouldn’t happen to have a straw, would you?”

It provided without skipping a beat, and he smiled approvingly as he fidgeted with the bending section. A straw made it so much easier.

“I suppose you could put down a bed roll behind the bar, or in the corner. Or, if it’s no trouble to you, there is a couch in the ladies’ locker room. We’ve no other patrons on the premises, and haven’t for many years, so I don’t think it would create any fuss.”

This time ‘Choly flinched, but recovered quickly enough to conceal the cause of the discomfort in Bogey’s proposition. He’d sooner admit loathing the idea of sleeping on yet another couch, than that he took exception to the furniture’s location. No, he couldn’t ask either of them to move it, either, because then they might ask why.

“Is this the only lantern?” ‘Choly asked it. “I wouldn’t ask to borrow it, if you need it.”

A little too readily, it nearly foisted the lantern upon him.

“It is! But, neither I nor Angel need it, if you’re so inclined.”

Bogey’s nervousness didn’t go unnoticed. He put a hand to the pincer holding the handle, and looked into its ocular lenses in earnest.

“You’re doing an amazing job. Really. Provided everything that’s happened, I’m still getting the same quality of service as I always have coming here.”

Bogey set down the lantern. It withdrew all its tendrils in close and turned away from him a moment, before glancing back to him by turning its lenses and not its body.

“...I’m glad to have your vote of confidence, Sir. It’s really been far too long since I’ve hosted anyone. You’re the first civil person I’ve encountered in easily a hundred years.”

“I can’t imagine there’s many people left with interest in playing golf, let alone knowledge how to play. The Commonwealth’s always had love affair with baseball, really. I always preferred fairway over diamond. Quiet. Broad. ...Cathartic. A real head space sport.”

“We shall see about arranging you with a bucket in the morning, if you so desire it, Sir. From the sound of things, you could really use a quiet commune."

“I’ve been telling Bogey about the recent series of scraps we’ve found ourselves in, Sir,” Angel elucidated, a little sheepishly. “It’s just I worry for you.”

“As long as you haven’t been exaggerating and telling Bogey I took out that deathclaw all by myself, or any of that,” ‘Choly laughed. He poured the rest of the bottle into the glass now that it had the room. “That couch already beckons. The day has already tried me.”

“It’s been trying for sure,” Angel agreed like a grammarian. “I’ll go lay out your blanket and pillow.”

“And my holotape, if you could,” ‘Choly called off to him once it was halfway to the lockers. “You know the one.”

“Ah yes. A bedtime story. Certainly, Sir!”

‘Choly left the empty glass for Bogey. He nearly reached into his pocket for a tip, but stopped short of the thought process at the realization that in lieu of human coworkers, a Mister Handy had no real use for money. His mouth became a thin line before he shot the brass Handy a huge grin and patted both hands on the counter. Even if it asked for money, he couldn’t in good conscience follow through with that habituation when he’d since learned better of the current economy of the Commonwealth. He stood and took up his cane, and picked up the lantern in the other.

“I must figure out a proper way to repay you for your hospitality before we head out, Bogey. Good night.”

“Oh, it’s quite all right, Sir. If it’s important to you, we can discuss it tomorrow. The only thing pressing at the moment is that you rest well.”

“With the two of you here, I’ll sleep easy for sure.”

“Mister Carey, I’ve arranged your bedding,” Angel reported emerging again from the lockers. “I’ll be right here in the lounge lobby, protecting you and Bogey. Just call for me if you need anything.”

At the mention of Bogey, he turned back to look at the brass Handy, to discover it had put out its pilot light to crouch on its tendrils through the night. His head fell askew as he continued on his way to bed, but he chalked it up to it reserving Handy Fuel. He snapped his fingers. Maintenance. He could provide Bogey maintenance. It’d be nothing as fancy as he’d given Angel, without the proper tools or materials, but surely Bogey had gone decades if not centuries without a re-fuel and a tune up. That would serve the Handy bounds before any currency ever could, especially one isolated in the middle of a large abandoned golfing green.

The ladies’ locker room had fewer lockers and more space. Angel had left not just the ‘Flyblown’ holotape on the coffee table, but also a canister of water, and he set down his glasses and the lantern with them. He’d leave on the light throughout the night, just for sake of it being an unfamiliar location. 'Choly toed his shoes under the faded dark blue leather couch, settled down onto it, and pulled the covers over himself. Since the couch’s arms still had most of their filling, he opted to stuff the pillow between his legs. He popped the holotape into his Pip-Boy’s cassette deck and set to reading to unwind amid the heavy low of the final Melancholia and the slurring comfort of intoxication.

The notion of scandalizing bloatfly syringe usage had rotted into an entirely different context since the conception of the work of fiction. It had been his go-to escapism off and on for months now, but he hadn’t reread it since before he’d escaped the burning pharmacy. Bloatfly syringes no longer exclusively existed in fictional parameters. He’d seen what they were capable of in reality. He found himself glazing over every few paragraphs and having to reread frequently, and ultimately closed the document and turned off the Pip-Boy screen.

‘Choly stared off into the recessed detailing of the ceiling, and how the lantern light, trapped in the crumbling edges of the peeling paint, created the illusion of a pile of dead leaves. He’d dodged death more times than he probably knew in just the last week alone. He could have burned alive in the pharmacy. Jared’s raiders could have caught him and murdered him for killing their leader. The deathclaw could have torn every last one of them apart. Radiation poisoning would have gotten him, if Angel hadn’t found him in the Red Rocket. They could have been blown to bits in that car graveyard. And if that giant mosquito had stabbed him in the chest even an inch further down, it would have pierced his heart. It seemed like just about anything in the wasteland could kill him, and a majority of it would kill him without hesitation.

Inspiration lay in wait all around him. He’d have to get more creative with his bucket list erotica, next time he penned any. Even in the slim chance that Mama Murphy hadn’t explicitly spoken the future into the present, it at least proved he could endeavor that his works act as a form of vicarious self-fulfilling prophecy. He drifted to sleep floating amid the notion that very little stood in the way of fiction becoming reality any longer. He need only apply himself...

‘Choly completed his rooftop chem break for the afternoon, and retired to his office garden to sow a fresh layer of fertilizer. The next thing he knew, he was coming up for air after having his face shoved down in the gardening planter full of brahmin manure. His head swam and swirled with kaleidoscoping hubflowers and flies. Eventually he was washing himself in the Mystic River while Angel laundered his clothing, chastising him all the while as though it believed he’d taken that nosedive on purpose. “Did you intend for that encounter to end your life?” If it’d had a tongue, it’d have clicked it in distaste. A cloud of bloodbugs swarmed him as Angel fish-eyed further and further out of reach. They jabbed him and sprayed his naked body with his own partly-digested blood. The Quincy survivors stood on the opposite bank, staring at him. He tried to cry out for his Mister Handy, but it minded the laundry. “This is what you wanted, isn’t it, Mister Kara?”

He was in the Red Rocket with Jacob again, fucking on the desk. He clawed for breath in a panic as the familiarity of acute radiation poisoning overwhelmed him. Bloatfly larvae packed into the feral ghoul’s fetid features, and they fell off and out of the ghoul and onto ‘Choly. Rather than lingering, they fell off into the floor and all over the desk, seeking to crawl back onto feral ghoul. Tears rolled down his face between the pain and rejection, and he could tell the mosquitoes had infected him with something that caused him acute, rapid swelling in his lower half. He realized the recoolant station office was crowded with other faces, all as rotten and disfigured but just as recognizable as Jacob’s. All of them teemed with those diligent lichinka, in wriggling indifference to ‘Choly. Jared. Mrs. Rosa. Heydar Jahani. Gristle, Lonnie, and Jerry. Jerry, in her power armor frame, with her Fatman perched squarely on her shoulder, ready to fire on him.

He shot awake when Jerry pulled the trigger, and gasped amid smoke. The pharmacy was on fire, and Angel was nowhere to be found. His legs had become so swollen, tight, and stiff, that he couldn’t move. He pulled his face into his shirt collar, and couldn’t stop coughing. A woman in ornate sheer lace lingerie stood before him, rubenesque and redheaded in silhouette of the flames behind her. She administered a Stimpak syringe to her hip and sneered at him with a sustained stare. He knew it was Duchesne, but he didn’t have the breath to call out to her. Stocking-foot and disinterested in the fire, she approached him out of pity. In closer proximity, he recognized she had succumbed to the same flyblown putrescence as the others. “You always wanted to know what the Stimpaks were for, didn’t you?” She administered another, and discarded the empty syringe to the floor. The fold of her thighs roiled with lichinka beneath her panties. “It’s so they don’t leave before they finish what they’re here for.” Duchesne traced a third Stimpak from ‘Choly’s jaw down to his stomach, and he stuttered. Her lip curled in revulsion. Both of them could tell the larvae would not contour to his body despite hers came in proximity. “Not even Radroaches would eat you.”

'Choly awoke hyperventilating in a fever chill. He steadied his breathing as he opened the health tab on his Pip-Boy to double-check it had not sensed blood pathogens of any kind during its diagnosis. No malaria, no filariasis. No bacteria, viruses, or parasites. His tongue stuck to his cotton mouth and he frowned, reaching for the water canister. Sitting up, he wet his throat then washed his face. The sun had risen, and filtered in through the clerestory windows which lined the top of the wall at the half of the locker room with the lavatories and showers. He turned off the lantern, then folded up his blanket.

Like the men’s locker room, the ladies’ lockers had also all been left open, with the patrons’ clothing folded neatly. He skimmed their contents, half-lucid, and realized only in contrast to the women’s garments, what had been missing from the men’s lockers. He helped himself to any socks and stockings he found, as well as a geranium red cashmere sweater. No valuables of any kind lay in either set of lockers: no money, no jewelry, no timepieces. If this place had been looted, the clothing wouldn’t have been folded so ceremoniously. Bogey must have combed it over and deposited all valuables in a safe somewhere on premises. He caught himself scheming whether he needed to sneak around Bogey to determine the safe’s location, and chastised himself for even thinking about taking advantage of such a good host. He put his hands on a pair of lacy black panties and guffawed in delight at the very thought of wearing them, only to jerk in recollection of the nightmare he’d just had, and he flung them down with a nauseated snarl.

He piled his things, old and new, atop the blanket, and carried his effects in this way across the way to the men’s room, where he’d left everything else overnight. He found Angel had slung his canvas spinal corset and Vault Suit over the locker doors to dry, and stared at the blood stains for some time. After pinching the fabrics to test their dryness, he disrobed, slipped on his orthotics, and redressed. He appreciated how tacky it was, to wear one striped sock and one argyle. One mirror in the men’s room had survived, and with it he used a few splashes of water to slick his hair and tuck it into a fresh french twist.

The chemist cursed his initial craving to start his day with a Melancholia, recalling he now had none left. He couldn’t tell if he sought the comfort of the meal replacement, or the nepenthe of the opiates. With a sigh, he opted for the cashmere sweater rather than the sweater vest, and folded the contrast cuffs over the cuffs of the sweater. He then put on his shoes, and went out into the lobby lounge with his cane.

“Good morning, Sir!” Angel sped up to him with a fresh cup of coffee for him. “You slept well, I hope?”

“I think the healing affected me in a bad way,” he murmured, taking the coffee to the closest table to sit. His face scrunched up and stared into the drink. “...This isn’t my mug.”

“...Ah, it’s one of ours,” Bogey explained, also approaching. “Angel told me this morning that, in your haste to escape that explosion yesterday afternoon, the two of you left behind the hot plate and percolator it had been using to brew your coffee. Between my appliances and dishes, and its purified water and coffee grounds, we concerted our efforts to ensure you had a fine drink to awaken to.”

‘Choly’s face journeyed through exasperation to appreciation in a matter of seconds, and he let the mug warm his hands for lack of a better reaction.

“We can easily replace the percolator and hot plate,” Angel reassured. “The hard thing to replace would have been the beans, and that’s still safely stowed in my storage.”

“You can keep the mug, if you like it. A souvenir from the Billerica Golf Course.”

“Heh. You two are just swell--”

He winced at his choice of words, still unable to distance himself from the nightmare. He thanked them both through clenched teeth, and shoved it all down by taking a testing sip of the hot black drink.

“Would you like me to whip up a box of Insta-Mash for you, Sir? Or perhaps you’d rather some more sweet rolls?”

“I’ve honey roasted peanuts, as well.” Bogey dropped five heat-sealed clear bags of peanuts onto the table, then returned to hovering just behind Angel. “If you’d like. It’s all I have.”

He smiled.

“Peanuts and a sweet roll sound superb. My appetite’s not so great when I first wake up. I’ll eat more at lunch.” Angel set the requested pastry before him, but he didn’t eat just yet. He patted his hands together, then wrung them. “In the mean time... Bogey. I’ve been giving it some thought. I have the money for the cola from last night, and for the peanuts and coffee now, and for your hospitality... But you’re the only one on premises, aren’t you? Money’s not going to do you much good if you’re out here all alone.”

“I-- I meant it last night, that you haven’t got to recompense my attentions. It’s been a delight in itself to have someone to tend to again after all these years.”

He persisted in the offer, his smile widening. His nose scrunched to push up his glasses.

“I’m sure Angel’s mentioned that I do maintenance on it, and that I’m responsible for its recent upgrades. I can take a look at you, and see what I can do about anything ailing you. Angel went a long time without upkeep, and I’m sure you need it just as much as it did. You mentioned Angel provided the water, for instance. I can get your condensators working again. And I noticed you put out your pilot light last night. You were conserving gas, weren’t you? I can refill your fuel tank.”

“Oh! that sounds just delightful,” Angel beamed. “Bogey, Mister Carey will get you right as new. You really must say yes. I swear by his care.”

“I... I’m not sure what to say.” Bogey withdrew back by a row of tables, its tendrils curled at its front. “You... you noticed I put out my pilot light. I didn’t mean to give you cause to fret.”

"Neither of you affected the quality of my sleep. I promise.” He bit into his pastry finally, his mouth suffusing with cinnamon oil. “We really can’t stay too long, Bogey. Say you’ll let me look you over before we go. I have to pay back your hospitality and kindness somehow.”

“If you really must insist, a tune up sounds... well, it sounds too good to be true.” Bogey caught itself in the reflex to dart away, and stood firm. “I... I have to admit, I thought you might be one of those... ugh, Devils, when I first caught a glimpse of Angel. I should have known better. Your work is much more sightly, and much more careful. I can certainly appreciate that you stayed within the scope of the General Atomics warranty.”

‘Choly’s brow flattened, then raised slowly from behind his coffee as he sipped.

“Devils? You’ll have to tell me all about it while I work.”

Go to Next »»»

#fallout 4 #fo4 fanfic #fallout 4 fanfic #sole survivor #mister handy #the anatomy of melancholy #melancholy #angel #bogey #the plot thiccens

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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Link Tank: Celebrating 20 Years of Oceans Eleven

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

It’s been 20 years since the iconic heist movie Oceans Eleven was released! Here are some fun facts you might not have known about the film.

“Has any other popcorn flick boasted a more impressive star-studded cast than Ocean’s Eleven? Well, apart from Ocean’s Twelve, Ocean’s Thirteen, and the female-fronted reboot Ocean’s 8, obviously. There was George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Matt Damon, and Julia Roberts all at the peak of their powers; past and future Oscar favorites Andy Garcia, Don Cheadle, and Casey Affleck; and Hollywood royalty Carl Reiner and Elliott Gould—not to mention a cameo from everyone’s favorite German-American lion tamers Siegfried and Roy.”

Read more at The A.V. Club

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The post Link Tank: Celebrating 20 Years of Oceans Eleven appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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kinginqueerstudies · 4 years

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Fake Hurts

Straight folks, “playing the parts,” of queer characters in films is devastating to the queer community. The very phrase, “playing the part,” turns a characters experience being whatever kind of the queer they are into a performance. It’s false representation, pandering to the parts of Hollywood which preach liberalism, but values age old, toxic traditions. Take Jared Leto in the 2014 award winning film, Dallas Buyers Club. He portrayed Rayon, a drag queen with AIDS who succumbs to that illness and dies by the end of the film. Rayon, during her life, is a prostitute, living in a town that doesn’t understand her or her struggles, and is forced to live on the fringes of society. Nevermind the fact that despite this being a film, “based on true events,” Rayon is a complete fabrication, inserted into the film to change the film’s version of Ron Woodruff’s mind about queer folks and to teach him tolerance. Although his particular performance won him the award for best supporting actor, based on his later behavior in such movies as Suicide Squad, Leto’s performance in this role only cemented false stereotypes in the drag community, and presented yet another female impersonation that was nothing more than an overexaggerated, boisterous caricature of other queens. It was performative, to say the very least.

Additionally, films which cast both straight and queer actors is divisive. Take someone like Robin Williams in the Birdcage. He’s popular with many audiences, appearing in both dramatic and comedic roles across the board, who is partnered with Nathan Lane, who is gay, and is extremely popular on the stage. Both men play their parts well, but in classic Williams’ fashion, he plays his part with an overabundance of panache and flair, which is entertaining to watch as a fan of Willams’ work; however, his portrayal doesn’t fall short of clichés and, “hamming it up,” for a bit. In this way, Williams’ isn’t portraying a character, as much as he’s playing himself as a gay man. In this context, both his and Lane’s queerness in the film is more for comedic shenanigans than anything else. Nathan Lane being a gay man portraying a gay man feels like a commodity, a casting choice in the interest of appealing to a more queer audience, while Williams’ presence is the anti-venom to a movie that would otherwise be of interest of middle-aged white women looking for a fun flick to see on their girl’s night out.

Lastly, hetero actors portraying queer folks denies a lot of queer actors innumerable job opportunities. Whatever roles that are available that can’t be filtered down to, “sassy, gay, best friend,” or, “horny bisexual,” are few and very far between. God forbid it’s an award-worthy film, studio execs are more interested in hiring recognizable names versus genuine people for their films. Take, The Danish Girl, a film about a Danish man, Einar Wegener, who is asked to pose as a woman for his wife, Gerda Wegener, while she is working on a new painting, which triggers his lifelong aspiration to seek out a way that he can become a woman. Based on true events, Einar- later, Lili- is portrayed by Eddie Redmayne, a cisgendered man. Despite his commitment to immersing himself into the roles he’s cast in, there’s something about a cis man acting in the part of a transitioning woman that’s unsettling. Although I cannot speak from my own experience, I know from being present in the lives of friends who have transitioned, that is an incredibly stressful experience, one that unless you have experienced first hand yourself, you can only empathize with the other. There is no way to truly understand that experience without living through it. Beyond that, having a man playing a man questioning his own gender but not fully embracing that means is not only performative, but it does nothing for trans representation in film. Now more than ever, films need authentic and genuine actors cast in roles that correlate with who they are as people. It’s vital for the acceptance of not only trans, but all queer, POC, and disabled actors to be cast in roles written for them as opposed to those roles being shared among the straight, cisgendered, white, able bodies individuals most folks are familiar with. People need to know that there is more than one hetero-normative way of living, and the main way to that is to cast actors who know what they’re about.

#Queering the Screen Week 14

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smokeybrand · 4 years

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Smokey brand Movie Reviews: Slide

The Great

The Verdict

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sammyhale · 7 years

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J2 ChiCon 2017 Main Panel

*Reminder: if possible, watch the panel videos for full context/info.

Boys make their entrance and do their jump onstage.

The dick tweet from last night is brought up. Rich, Rob, and Jensen are all teasing Jared lol. Someone in the crowd yells, “Size doesn’t matter!” Jared: Yes it does! Jensen to the fan: That’s just what people say who don’t have it.

Jared: I got my phone stolen last night. Well, it wasn’t stolen, I gave it away like an idiot. Jensen: After you tweeted something very personal. Jared laughs and jokes: Oh crap, I hit send here hold this! Everyone cracks up. Video

Fan sneezes. Jared: Chuck bless you.

ChiCon is special since it was the first convention that started it all. Jared: It’s where we started realizing what this family is.

Fan: You’re the Power Rangers. Jensen: Wrong show. That’s down the hall.

Jared: I’ve watched more Power Rangers in the last 2 months than my whole life. Jensen: Why? Jared: ‘Cause Tom and Shep... Jensen: They don’t watch. You MADE your kids watch that.

Jared: Never had anyone yell “You’re Power Rangers” at me. Jensen: Why would you? Jared: They just did! Jensen: THEY ARE IN THE WRONG HALL.

Jared to a fan: What are you wearing? Fan: It’s a blanket. Jensen: It’s a serape.

Fan: Most difficult thing about raising twins? Jensen: Our four-year-old. The twins aren’t moving yet. Jared (behind Jensen) freezes like he’s not moving with his arms in the air lol.

Jensen to Jared: I can see you on the screen! Ain’t my first rodeo.

Another tweet: Jared imitating the twins not moving. Jared: Oh you can see me on the screen? Jensen: Yeah I can! *busts out laughing*

Jared: Someday JJ is gonna see these videos and be like “Hey!” Boys are cracking up.

Jared: What if in 15 years kids see these videos and are like WHAT DO YOU MEAN I WAS THE DIFFICULT ONE?!

Jensen says Bram is a mini him and Arrow is a mini D.

Jared says favorite brotherly moment to film was the end of Sacrifice.

Likes “I got your back” episodes. Jared will always be proud of defining brother moments.

Jensen: When we took the pickaxes to the wall at the end of last season. It was a cool moment for the brothers and me and Jared when we broke through the wall at the end of s12. Fun for them.

Jared: It was a poignant moment, the brothers talking about their legacy and it could have been me and Jensen [talking about themselves] on SPN.

Jensen: Because we’ve lived with these characters for so damn long, it’s hard to tell us apart sometimes.

Jensen: In Baby arguing about the burrito wasn’t scripted, that was me and Jared alone in the car.

Fan apologizes for how she’s asking her question because of her anxiety. Jensen: You’re doing great so far.

Jensen: People don’t usually try to prank us out of fear of retaliation. The hell we will rain down on them.

The only person who never feared pranking them was Kim Manners. He did things like dump freezing water on them in that manhole in s2. Crew came up to them with elaborate excuses about why they needed to take J2′s phones before that because they knew what was coming.

Lots of teasing happening (lots of references to the dick tweet lol).

They were talking about sit-ups and push-ups in scripts, etc. Jared: I have a pretty long torso- Jensen: So that’s where that length went.

Jared changed it to Sam doing pull-ups not sit-ups. Jensen: So you’d look all elongated *rimshot*

Jared teases back: In all the Days of My Life- Jensen: I was a child! Not a man responsible for my actions!

Jensen chooses middle of the road success and win an Oscar when he’s 50 lol. Jared teases him about his age: Gonna win an Oscar last year?? *mic drop*

Cutest things kids have done? Jensen: Exist.

Jared about Odette: “My girl is perfect.”

Tells a story about Tom and how he picked up a habit of saying, “That’s what I’m talking about” from someone at school and it cracks Jared up.

Jared talks about how Shep looks up to Tom so much.

Jared: Tom, what was your favorite thing today? Tom: Walking in the park with you. Shep: Me too! Jared: You were home napping lol.

Jared to fan, clarifying info she’d mentioned: You have one kid? Her: just one. Jared: That you know of!!

Fan asks about their favorite monster to kill. Jared says the one he ended up marrying lol. Talks about how that will be awkward with the kids in a few years: “Why is Uncle Jensen holding mommy while you stabbed her??”

Jared talks about killing Death. Jensen. I did not like killing Death. Jared: Cause he’s awesome. Jensen: Well yes, he is awesome, but, those types of scenes are technically difficult to shoot. Jensen likes to kill monsters with guns ‘cause it’s easy.

Jared is sitting backwards on his chair with one of his legs hoisted up, showing off his flexibility lol. Jensen talks about how Jared sits like that at a nice restaurant, will use his knee as his plate :P

A fan starts to ask the question: How different are you in real life to your characters? There’s a pause and then she adds: Musically? Jared: Wait, what? Jensen: Answer the question in song. Jensen sings a bit. Jared jokes about being thrown off by the pause in the question lol.

Jensen: What’s your favorite Bieber song right now? Jared: All of ‘em.

There’s a song Jared has been listening to a lot lately that reminds him of Gen but is having a hard time remembering the name. Thinks the band’s name is Skyline. (Possibly the Austin-based band Skyline x).

Jensen: Dean likes classic rock. Nothing else is playing in his ears. Jensen loves classic rock, some country, some hard rock, a little bit of everything. Whatever he’s in the mood for.

Fan says her sister is obsessed with Jared. Jared: She’s awesome! Fan’s question is for Jensen though lol.

What advice would Jensen give Beyonce about twins? Jensen: B, let me talk at you real quick...Jared: What advice did you give her? Jensen: Let me check my texts lol. Jensen says to sleep when you can, mentions that duct tape is handy because it can fix anything, including your children lol. Jensen’s advice for Jay-Z would be to ask B: “What can I do for you?”

Jared starts quoting lyrics from Destiny’s Child’s song Bills, Bills, Bills: pay my bills, pay my automobills, maybe we could chill.

Favorite pie? J2 are arguing over the pronunciation of “pecan” lol. Jensen says Dean likes sweet cherry pie ;) Jensen’s favorite is banana cream.

Jared’s favorite is pecan. Say Sam has a favorite and starts reciting Pi off the top of his head.

Pet peeves about each other? Jared: I don’t waste gum!

Jensen goes off lol. Talks about how “we hang out with each other a lot” and when Jared will come to his trailer every time he’ll take his gum and put it on Jensen’s counter and walk to his fridge to get a drink. Then when he’s done, he picks it up and puts it back in his mouth. Jared: I don’t wanna waste gum! Jensen used to call him out on putting gum on surfaces that aren’t the trashcan. Jared: The gum’s still good! Jensen: There’s no excuse!..Drink your drink with your gum in your mouth. The crowd says eww. Jensen: Oh, that’s ew?!

Jensen talks about how whenever he and Jared go out to a restaurant, bar, etc, there will be either paper coasters or napkins and Jensen watches in amazement because while Jared is talking Jared, without noticing, has ripped the coaster and/or napkin into little tiny balls and had made a pile and eventually pushes it onto the ground. Jared: Multitasking. Jensen: What is that, though? Jared is just smiling.

Last question: Fan starts talking to Jared, turns, sees Jensen on the other side. “Oh, hi!” Jensen: I’ve literally been here the whole time lol.

Four things the colt can’t kill? Lucifer, God, Amara, and the Winchester Brothers. Jared: Wouldn’t that be cool?

This video from the last question shows Jared looking up in the air while standing next to the fan because he felt water on his arm. Jensen notices and without Jared saying anything he tells Jared that the fan is flicking water from her cup (because she was gesturing around in excitement lol) and Jared collapses laughing on one knee saying, “Oh, God!” Jensen: “Jared thought it was raining”- Jared: I was like, what is going on here?!

J2 share their traditional fist bump and thank the fans <3

Info via: Fangasm, Cherie, Carry On, Kristin, Adina, iwinsoiwin, Becky, Christina, Sil’s livetweet list, Audio

#j2 #jared padalecki #jensen ackles #chicon #spnchi #panel sum #long post #shpost

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cripplinganxietyflix · 7 years

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Blade Runner 2049, Creep 2, The Foreigner

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, my crippling anxiety and depression have been better managed lately so I’ve been out of my house a lot more, which means I’m not sitting in front of a screen as much, and ultimately that means less time spent writing up reviews and watching films. I’m hoping to post a lot more soon, and have a pretty long video planned for a Netflix series I hate. Don’t worry, it’s not Stranger Things.

I have THREE movie reviews backed up, so I’ll try to keep this as brief as possible.

First off, I saw Blade Runner 2049 last month, and I fucking loved it. I’ve been defending this film to the doubters and haters (woah there, Donald Trump) for the last year and a half and boy, do I feel vindicated!

2049 was a god damned masterpiece as far as I’m concerned. If we’ve ever talked at length about movies, then you know I’m ride-or-die for Denis Villeneuve. I’ve seen all of his films except for Maelstrom and they’ve all been, basically, five-star films. In fact, I just watched Incendies for the first time last week and it left me speechless and devastated. I will admit that the events of that particular film are a little beyond belief, but it doesn’t matter. See it if you have the opportunity, it’s well worth the time.

Villeneuve has produced, probably, one of the best sequels ever made; I would confidently rank it with The Godfather Part II, Empire Strikes Back, and Aliens. 2049 improves on its predecessor in every conceivable way. Whereas the original suffers quite a bit from its pacing issues, 2049′s two hour and forty-three minute runtime felt like it went by in an hour and a half. The philistine troglodytes of the movie community have claimed this movie is slow and boring, but I think they’ve misunderstood the haunting, deliberate, meticulous pace of this film. The film makes a professional effort to present everything as is, for your interpretation, rather than through unnecessary exposition. I’m looking at you, 1982 Blade Runner theatrical cut featuring the most draining and unenthusiastic voice over, maybe ever! To give you an example, the movie clearly takes place in Los Angeles, but the climate is cold, damp and dark like Seattle, and there’s a massive wall along the coast that seems to be holding back the sea. Here we have the effects of climate change, without a single mention of it. It just is.

Finally. Thank you for treating me like a higher-than-room-temperature-IQ individual, Denis. Love you.

Which brings me to the universe of this new film. It is, in my opinion, completely consistent with the progression of technology of the 1982 film, instead of “adapting” this technology so that it makes sense in the context of our modern technological developments. Any other director might have said, “well hey, the original takes place in 2019, but we don’t have flying cars and our computers are better. We should change the tech for 2049 so it’s more consistent for a modern viewer.” Nope. Blade Runner 2049 looks like it takes place exactly 30 years after the original film. In fact, things seem even more dirty, grimy, and in further disrepair. The world of 2049 has trudged on and has continued on a path of miserable, dystopian decay as a direct and consistent continuation of the original film. In this sense, here is another arena where this film is a significant improvement on the original; the harsh, dystopian reality is magnified beautifully and effectively.

In this way, 2049 meaningfully expands on this universe. We meet Joi, the digital girlfriend of Ryan Gosling’s detective character. Every scene that incorporates Joi is a poignant and moving statement on the shallowness of technology and our digital interactions in the modern age. Case in point: Gosling gets a new mobile platform for Joi that allows him to take her out of the apartment and enjoy a rainy evening on the roof. This sweet moment between the two characters is shattered when Joi’s program freezes as Gosling receives an incoming call, the projected notification plastered over her.

I don’t want to go to far into characters and story at the risk of spoiling the magic for those of you who didn’t get a chance to see this one before it was ripped out of theaters, but I do want to say that I thought Gosling’s performance was very good, and the character suits his trademark silent performances that convey feelings with the pursing of lips and the twinkling of eyes rather than forced melodrama. I think Jared Leto was a little over the top, but it was fine in the context of the film. I was on the fence with Robin Wright’s performance for a couple of weeks after seeing this, but for the most part, I liked her and the role her character serves. Everyone was generally good and consistent. And as far as the writing of the characters, it was nice to have a detective character who, you know, actually spends the film investigating shit and solving mysteries.

The last thing I want to touch on is the music and cinematography. Deakins is well utilized in this film; it is shot beautifully. The visuals and photography are probably the biggest strength of the film, and there’s a perfect and balanced synergy between what the film wants to convey and what the cinematography does to support that. The sound design is incredible and further compliments the visuals. I was surprised and impressed with Hans Zimmer’s score, which takes all the right cues from the Vangelis score from the original and really augments the film’s depressing majesty. Once again, this film improves on its predecessor in every way, and the new score manages to capture the futurism and cyberpunk atmosphere of the original and crank it up to 11 to match the increased level of dystopian despair. I loved that this movie manages to convey this feeling organically, without coming off as forced, and without the entire movie coming off as completely miserable, although the misery is beautiful to watch and hear and feel. And for what it’s worth, I believe the movie has a happy end, albeit bittersweet.

If you have any interest in seeing this movie, go check the showtimes for theaters near you. I would drive at least an hour out of my way to see this one in a decent theater again. If not, it’s worth the rental fee, at the very least. I will certainly be adding this film to my Blu-ray collection. All things considered, I enjoy this sequel even more than its source material. Denis Villeneuve has an adaptation of Dune coming up and after seeing this film (and, really, the rest of his work), I have high expectations and a lot of anticipation. And hey, Ryan Gosling is a gorgeous man to look at and you don’t need to ask me twice to watch him in all of his brooding glory for three hours.

★★★★★

I also got a chance to see Creep 2, the highly anticipated follow-up to Mark Duplass’s low-key 2014 found footage flick. I won’t spend too much time analyzing this one, but if you enjoyed the first film, there’s a decent chance you’ll like this sequel.

While I admit that I think the first film is scarier, this one is smarter and a more interesting watch. It digs a bit deeper into the character of Aaron, the fascinating, bizarre and lonely serial killer from the original. As with its predecessor, Creep 2 meets my found-footage benchmark: a believable reason as to why a camera is present, as well as an acceptable reason as to why the character or characters continue to film. I found Creep 2 to be interesting, weirdly charming, intentionally humorous, and didn’t feel like I was rolling my eyes about the obvious set-up for a continuation of this series.

I certainly wouldn’t recommend Creep 2 if you haven’t seen the first one (or if you hated it), and if you’re a total nay-sayer on found footage, this one probably isn’t going to change your mind. I am generally pretty accepting of found footage films, appreciate the medium, and think that it can be a much more immersive presentation for horror. About 50-60% of the ones I’ve watched have been scary and enjoyable, and although this one isn’t particularly scary, it’s a satisfying expansion to the first film. I would have liked more horror and scares, but given the context of the film, I can live without them.

It’s pretty nutty and very awkward, but in a good way.

★★★ ½

I opted out of predictable trainwrecks like The Snowman and Geostorm these past couple of weeks, and ultimately cancelled my plans to see Suburbicon after seeing the brutal reviews for it. I am truly disappointed considering that movie had literally every reason to be good and managed to, according to critical consensus, eat a massive amount of shit while also managing to be some unpleasant mixture of socially tonedeaf and tactlessly racially insensitive. On that note, I instead saw Jackie Chan’s answer to Death Wish, The Foreigner, which was smartly retitled from the book it was based on. The Chinaman is not gonna fly in 2017, thankfully. Do I thank Trump for this era of heightened racial awareness, or are we actually growing because we’re not such bad humans after all?

The Foreigner is film about a traumatized old man’s quest for vengeance after his daughter is killed in an IRA terrorist bombing. The strength of this film is the performances delivered by Chan and Brosnan, as well as the action sequences. As mentioned previously, I was reminded of Death Wish, and felt like this film might have been an alternate universe’s answer to the need for a version of Rambo that stars Jackie Chan. Man, I didn’t know how much I wanted a Chan-led Rambo, but here we are!

This is a pretty dark and gritty film for Chan, and he also displays a range of grief that I can’t say I’ve seen in any of the several dozen other Jackie Chan films I’ve watched over the years. It’s nice to see this kind of change in his long career, and if he decides to embark on an Eastwood or Bronson-esque journey of morally-compromised vengeance and redemption in his old age, I fully endorse it.

The Foreigner suffers a bit from a pretty standard action-thriller formula, and I think the film would have benefitted from a more consistent tone and tighter writing. That being said, Chan and Brosnan are compelling to watch, and the fight sequences are not only satisfying, but genuinely impressive considering Jackie Chan is a 63-year-old man who has probably broken every bone in his body over his career.

If you’re a fan of Chan, I’d recommend this one. Otherwise, you may get bored by the political drama. The story is a bit... well, it’s average, but the two leads more than make up for it with their performances and the action sequences help to balance out a movie that might have otherwise been unremarkable. It’s an interesting and unexpected direction for such an established master of physical comedy.

★★★½

#blade runner #blade runner 2049 #the foreigner #creep 2 #ryan gosling #jackie chan #mark duplass #denis villeneuve #film #reviews

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mrmichaelchadler · 5 years

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Home Entertainment Consumer Guide: February 7, 2019

10 NEW TO NETFLIX

"About a Boy" "Annie Hall" "Bull Durham" "Casino Royale" "Jaws" "The Magnificent Ambersons" "The Master" "Personal Shopper" "Silence of the Lambs" "Zodiac"

8 NEW TO BLU-RAY/DVD

"Boy Erased"

Can a movie be given points for effort? The message behind "Boy Erased" is undeniably an important one to hear in 2019 as efforts to roll back gay rights or at least halt the implementation of them continue under the Trump administration. So the story of a family that learns the hard way that gay conversion therapy is an evil practice that denies human rights and damages people forever is one that feels urgent and important. And there are strong performances embedded in this film, particularly from Nicole Kidman as the mother who senses in her heart that she should just accept her son. The problem is that the film doesn't work as storytelling, keeping its subject matter under glass in a way that never allows us to know him, developing his parents as characters more than the center of this story. Still, it's a story worth hearing, even if one wishes it were told better.

Buy it here

Special Features Deleted & Extended Scenes Jared Revealed - Featurette Becoming the Eamons - Featurette Man Consumed: Joel Edgerton - Featurette

"In the Heat of the Night" (Criterion)

It's a slower movie than I remembered now that I've revisited it for the first time in probably two decades, but it's still powerful, thanks in large part to Sidney Poitier's commanding performance and something I think I was too young to really appreciate the first time: Haskell Wexler's amazing cinematography. This movie looks phenomenal, capturing a time and place while also having a strong visual language as cinema at the same time. And the new 4K restoration really allows Wexler's work to shine. It's interesting that several people have brought up this film in the context of 2018 Oscar players "Green Book" (another film about an interracial partnership) and even "If Beale Street Could Talk" (Baldwin had some harsh words for the film in one of his most famous essays). It's incredible how often Criterion finds a way to release a film at just the right time, although "In the Heat of the Night" would probably find a way to resonate whenever it was released.

Buy it here

Special Features New 4K digital restoration, with uncompressed monaural soundtrack on the Blu-ray New interviews with director Norman Jewison and actor Lee Grant Segment from a 2006 American Film Institute interview with actor Sidney Poitier New interview with Aram Goudsouzian, author of Sidney Poitier: Man, Actor, Icon Audio commentary from 2008 featuring Jewison, Grant, actor Rod Steiger, and cinematographer Haskell Wexler Turning Up the Heat: Movie-Making in the ’60s, a 2008 program about the production of the film and its legacy, featuring Jewison, Wexler, producer Walter Mirisch, and filmmakers John Singleton and Reginald Hudlin Quincy Jones: Breaking New Sound, a 2008 program about Jones’s innovative soundtrack, including the title song sung by Ray Charles, featuring interviews with Jones, lyricists Alan and Marilyn Bergman, and musician Herbie Hancock Trailer PLUS: An essay by critic K. Austin Collins

"Lu Over the Wall" "Night is Short, Walk on Girl"

Japanese animator Masaaki Yuasa released two films in Japan in 2017 that were both released by GKids in 2018 and are now new to Blu-ray from the wonderful company that brings some of the best overseas animation to American audiences. The sweet "Lu Over the Wall" owes a great deal to Hayao Miyazaki's wonderful "Ponyo," which, of course, owes a great deal to Hans Christian Anderson's "The Little Mermaid." In this iteration, Lu is a one of the mythical merfolk, who comes alive when she hears sullen middle-schooler Kai playing with his band in a small fishing village. She sings, dances, and even grows legs, becoming a phenomenon in the community, where they build a mer-theme park and turn her into an attraction. It's a cute movie that runs WAY too long at 112 minutes. I haven't had the chance to check out "Night" yet but wanted to include it for Yuasa fans or those looking for the latest from GKids, a company all film fans should keep an eye on.

Buy it here

Special Features Interview with Director Masaaki Yuasa Audio Commentary with Director Masaaki Yuasa Trailers TV Spots Original Japanese language and English dub versions

"A Private War"

Matthew Heineman's first fictional film tells a story in keeping with his experience as a documentary filmmaker but proves that what works in one may not work in another. Rarely has a performance fought against the weaknesses of a script more than Rosamund Pike's does here. You can almost see some of the cliched dialogue get stuck in her mouth, but she does just enough to ground the story of Marie Colvin in something genuine that she elevates what is a truly awful screenplay and pedestrian direction. Pike is one of those great actresses who always seems on the verge of finding the right part to make her a household name or Oscar winner. This could have been it with a better script. Watch it for what could have been.

Buy it here

Special Features Becoming Marie Colvin: How Rosamund Pike transformed herself for A Private War Women in the World Summit Q&A: Featuring Rosamund Pike, Jamie Dornan and Director Matthew Heineman, moderated by Tina Brown Requiem for A Private War: Inspiration behind award-winning musician Annie Lennox's song

"The Sisters Brothers"

One of the films already popping up on "Underrated" lists for 2018 is this character-driven Western from Jacques Audiard, an entertaining rental with a great quartet of actors. Seriously, how does a movie with John C. Reilly, Joaquin Phoenix, Jake Gyllenhaal, and Riz Ahmed slide this far under the radar? Perhaps it's for the best in terms of the film's longevity in that this is a movie that I'm certain people will find on DVD and Blu-ray and recommend to their friends. It's more than just a competent genre flick thanks mostly to its cast, especially Reilly, who imbues his Sisters brother with a perfect blend of world-weariness and dedication. It's a reminder of how good Reilly can be in the right part.

Buy it here

Special Features Striking Gold: Making a "Modern Day" Western Q&A Panel Promotional Featurettes: Brothers Forever Wanted Dead or Alive Gallery Theatrical Trailer

"Suspiria"

You would think that the director of my #1 film of 2017 ("Call Me By Your Name") reimagining one of my favorite films of all time would be an easy slam dunk for this critic, but "Suspiria" is more of a modest lay-up. It's a film that I can appreciate in terms of ambition, but it has a number of elements that simply don't work. I'll never understand some of the washed-out visual choices, especially when compared to the unforgettable imagery of the first, and I don't like the way it uses real political upheaval as cheap background. Still, there's that Tilda Swinton performance and that climax, which is like nothing else released in 2018. It's funny how divisive this movie became when it was released, making some top ten and some worst ten lists at the end of the year. I really don't understand either extreme reaction, but love to see the debate.

Buy it here

Special Features "The Making of Suspiria" Featurette "The Secret Language of Dance" Featurette "The Transformations of Suspiria" Featurette

"Widows"

I don't believe I had to defend any 2018 review more than my 4-star write-up of Steve McQueen's latest, now on Blu-ray and DVD. I stand by every word. And I think history will come around to reveal the criticisms of this film being petty or unfounded. "Too much movie"? Yeah, how often do we get to say that? Yes, there are a lot of characters to follow and a few plot threads left dangling, but that's true of a lot of classic cinema that attempts to capture the pulse and people of a major city like Chicago. A lot of those '70s crime epics you love? They've got some plot holes too. We're in an era in which we sometimes fail to see the forest for the trees, too eager to pick apart little plot details when we miss the overall fabric of a piece like this one. It's a great movie. And it gets better every time I watch it. And every time I have to defend it too.

Buy it here

Special Features Widows Unmasked: A Chicago Story Plotting The Heist: The Story Assembling The Crew: Production The Scene Of The Crime: Locations Gallery

from All Content http://bit.ly/2WJ8LkJ

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